Lips so red
Corpse so blue
Lips whispers quite
Corpse remains silent
Lips cry in despair
Corpse doesn't care
Lips become still
Corpse welcomes her will

Death looks very handsome today
Wonder if he'll dance my way
Hold me in his arms as we sway
To the rhythm of the dance
Maybe just by chance
At me today he'll take a glance
It would be a fine romance

Maybe today he'll give me a date
Save me from this wretched state
I patiently wait at his gate
I'm hoping he will take my hand
Lead me into his land
Where he stops times sand

Never to be sold
Never to grow old
Never to be cold

Death is looking very handsome today
I hope this is the day he takes me away

One cut, two cut, three cut, four
Watch my blood spill on the floor
Five cut, six cut, seven cut, eight
Isn't this life just ******* great
Nine cut, ten
Here we go again

One cut, two cut, three cut, four
Sinking every day a little more
Five cut, six cut, seven cut, eight
Future is up to chance and fate
Nine cut, ten
This ****** up game I'll never win

You just sit there like a nonexistent entity
Having no special identity
All your thoughts are not your owen
Only planted seeds in your mind is sown
You are so **** vain
This will probably have to be explained
Because you will probably take this as flattery
But I must say you have a vanilla personality

You just sit there like a nonexistent entity
Having no special identity
All your thoughts are not your owen
Only planted seeds in your mind is sown
You are so **** vain
This will probably have to be explained
Because you will probably take this as flattery
But I must say you have a vanilla personality

The jingle of keys makes my skin crawl
I could always hear them as he came down the hall
I knew my bedroom door he would breach
I knew soon it was me he would besiege
These are my early childhood memories
Now you know what started my disease
And why my blood runs cold and I freeze
When I hear the jingle of keys

Some roads you shouldn't go down
Maps use to say that's where dragons would be found
Now they don't, but that doesn't mean
The dragons aren't still there, just unseen
So on some roads you should just turn around

Be you a freak
Or a geek
Transgender, gay, or bi
Let your flag fly
We are all ****** anyway
So for the rest of our days
No matter how bizarre
Let's be ****** for who we truly are

I sit and wail
As memories of you swell
Threating to bring down the wall
As I remember your final fall

You fell right through my out stretched arms
I could not save you from your demons harm
I could not bring you back to me
Now your memories is all I have to see

I was so angry you left me here all alone
This cut is deep, right to the bone
A wound that will never heal, never become just a scar
As you now dwell amongst the stars

Now I find, I turn my eyes to the midnight sky
The tears rolling quickly and quietly as I cry
I'm searching for something left by you
A shooting star, a comet, a clue
Just to let me know your okay, that you made it through

That would make it worth our final good bye
Maybe then my tears would subside
Maybe then they would turn to silent sighs
But the pain will always be with me that is true
For my dearest friend, I will forever miss you

Till we meet again on the other side
There's one thing that will never die
It is constant, it will always be the same
My love for you will always remain

Crawled inside a whisky bottle
For I am no aristotle

This is my hiding spot for awail
There is no need for 911 to be dialed

I'm only trying to drown my misery
Surly that is plain to see

Please don't shake me out
I need my whisky stout

Let me stay In here for now
I'll find my own way out.....some how

A person who wants nothing, never can be bought
A person who won't fight, never can be fought
A person who doesn't lie, never can be caught
A person who won't play the game, never can be used
A person who dosen't cheat, will always pay his dues
A persons who never thinks, can never have any views
A person who dosen't care what you think, will never leave you confused
A person who has nothing, they will never lose
Tell me dear friend, what kind of person are you

Lost in a world of cruel misfortune
I'm just another ***** orphan
Searching for that elusive love
That will raise me far above
This pitiful life in which I dwell
A regular modern living hell
Planted in front of the tv at night
Tears sliding down my checks in the flickering light
Dreaming that in the light of day
A gentle heart my way, will sway
Take my hand, lead me to the stars
As he kisses every single scar
But for now I'm just a lonely orphan
Wallowing in love's misfortune

Lost in a world of cruel misfortune
I'm just another ***** orphan
Searching for that elusive love
That will raise me far above
This pitiful life in which I dwell
A regular modern living hell
Planted in front of the tv at night
Tears sliding down my checks in the flickering light
Dreaming that in the light of day
A gentle heart my way, will sway
Take my hand, lead me to the stars
As he kisses every single scar
But for now I'm just a lonely orphan
Wallowing in love's misfortune

Why did you want to hurt me again
Why do you want to twist that knife in
Your words cut worse than any knife
And I'm the reason for your strife

I swear I did the best I could
I thought I was proticting you like I should
I'm sorry I didn't know
But I'd ask you everytime you would go
But your answer was always no

But I know little kids can be frightened
And I'm sure that noose he tightened
And I don't blame you for hating me
For I am mom you see
I was supposed to protect you from the monsters
But I didn't know it would be my secound step father

I didn't know my mom would marry a another one like the first
This nightmare was the worst
I just wish you could see
I tried my very best to be
The mother you could always depend on
But now your gone

You hate me for what was done
But I want you to know if I'd had a gun
He could of never hurt anyone
And tho you hate me I'll love you always
I'm mom and I'm to blame anyways

What if dawn never comes
No more bright light from the sun
With no sun the moon won't shine
In the total darkness will you lose your mind

Will you be able to face your fears
When your monsters are closing in and getting near
Or will you keep running trying to out distance them
Feeling like you have been condemned

Or will your turn and face those demons
And find the greater meanings
Will inside yourself you find that gem
Will you find where your darkness stems

Will you be able to restart your spark
And leave in this world your wonderous mark
To show the world your true being
To let the world know you are no longer fleeing

To destroy your mask can be so freeing
To banish the dark with the light thats inside
Because that's what happens when you have nothing left to hide

There we where just cruising along
But I could tell something was wrong

Your temperature was starting to rise
And off of you smoke started to rise

Then you just up and died
I looked to the sky

And I cry
Why

Why now, why you
Why Lord, now what do I do


I call a tow trunk to come to our aid
To pick up the mess that you made

He picks up your useless carcass
I just want to cuss
Never again we'll it be us

Why don't you see me here
Why don't you give a **** dear
Why did you leave me alone here
Just go the **** away dear
There's nothing left for you here
Please leave me alone dear
**** all your **** here
Can't you see me dear
I'm right before you here
I'm layed wide open dear
There's nothing to run from here

I have several poems started
But none of them want to come to completion
They all keep dodging my pen

Golden sun ends day
Wonderful way to say bye
Looking to the sky

The only sound in my ears is the crashing of waves
I exhale, trying to be brave
But I can't stop the scalding tears
I'm waiting for my vision to clear
Kneeling by your newly dug grave
I feel that to this place I am now enslaved
I can only muster a hushed whisper
"How could you leave me dear sister"

The Mongoose dances with the Cobra
Bending and twitching, it looked like yoga
One little ***** of those poisons fangs
Will leave it dying in ravenous pain
The Mongoose so small and frail
It looks like the dance with the Cobra is sure to fail
The jumping and striking is memorizing to watch
Looking exhausted they raise it up a notch
A dance to the death is the show before me
The Cobra's hood is all I can see
He sways from side to side trying to hypnotize
But I can hear the Mongoose's chattering cries
Bouncing back and fourth on legs of springs
The Cobra strikes, you can hear the zing
The Mongoose is to fast, to the side it jumps
Then comes the bone crushing crunch
As the snakes body curls in on it's self into a ball
Looks like the mongoose won after all

So even if you think of yourself as small
Be the mongoose when problems come to call

Crying like a fool
For a friend hurt my feelings
Scratches on my heart

As Tinker Bell and Peter Pan showed it takes a happy hearts
Happy thoughts
To fly and zoom around
Thats why way down here in this bottomless pit is where I'll be found
It's always dark and sometimes scary
A anguished frozen heart is hard to carry
But that's ok, for the birds of prey
Would tear me apart anyway

The jingle of keys makes my skin crawl
I could always hear them as he came down the hall
I knew my bedroom door he would breach
I knew soon it was me he would besiege
These are my early childhood memories
Now you know what started my disease
And why my blood runs cold and I freeze
When I hear the jingle of keys

There is something about the nature of the beast
The endless need to consume and feast
It does matter what the breed
There is still that all consuming need
It swells up from deep within
Till on the full moon it splits the skin
Once a month the beast burst forth
The moon light gives him his rebirth
Like a demon locked up in a cage
He burst out with white hot rage
His claws are as sharp as razor blades
He'll carve up your flesh like a jack-o'-lantern
His gleaming fangs should also give you concern
For to him you are but a snack
So you better run, and don't look back

There once was a girl who loved bacon
The smell of it would start her hands to shaking
It's hard to define
She loved it divine
I once saw her chasing a swine
With fork and knife in hand
She was determined to eat that ham
But it ran to **** fast
I watched as it past
With her giving chase
To her it was just bacon with a face
She wanted that meal
Despite the pigs squeal
That poor pigs plight
Was a sad sorry sight
It was hard to imagine
What next happened
It turned and ate her instead
Now that ***** is dead

                  The End!

What does it sound like when all hope is lost
It's a silent scream in the empty dark
No one knows what to you it cost
No one can see it's left it's mark
It happens when you're all alone
When you've tried everything but it doesn't matter
You just try to find a safty zone
But the voices in your head still chatter
Telling you, you can't make it through the day
And at night you plot your death
You are slowly starting to decay
You know on the inside there's nothing left
I know what the sound is when your last hope dies
It's but a mournful whimper
It's only seen in your eyes
It leaves you cold, it's a soul killer

Like a scared little doe
You coaxed me into the field to go
You feed me every single day
All your sweet loving words it was such an array
You had me believing
You would never be leaving
Then one day with loving words still on your lips
You pulled the arrow off your hip
Pulled back your bow
Let your arrow flow
Right into my heart
But that was just the start
I didn't die
You only wanted me to cry
With every heart beat
The more I bleed
I slowly go insane
Whilst all the blood drains
And my heart again will turn to stone
I will now forever live my life alone
For you again have showen me
True love is just a fantasy
But for now I'm still bleeding out
Now all I can do is shout
To the heavens, God your so cruel
I'll just lay here and watch my blood, my love, pool
I no longer belive in God, see babe you even took that too
No more hope, no more faith, no more love, you took it all, I'M THROUGH!!

My dad was the greatest of men
I wish I would of gotten more time with him
Time has sure done it's shading
I hate to say his face is fading
His voice has long ago slipped from my memory
The sadness of that is sheer agony

I miss you as much today
As that sorrowful day you where taken away
You left this world way to soon
I still remeber that hospital waiting room

I was to late, death had already greeted you
I was only fourteen I didn't know what to do
I stood there crying in my sisters arms
I knew I would forever miss your fatherly charms

As I stood beside your open coffin
Tears spilling onto my dress, I felt like an orphan
Knowing I would never again see you smiling face
Your death was so hard to embrace

It was a gray rainy day you where placed in the ground
Setting under the cemetery tent no comfort to be found
Thinking even the angels on high
Could do no more than cry

You had been my hero, I was a daddy's girl
And my life from this point would do nothing but unfurl
I was, and still am so lost without your presence
I missed you at so many of my lifes great events

At all of my children's births
I thought of you first
And how you would of beamed with pride
At the thought I just cried

But as my memory, with time harshly shades
My love for you will never fade
I carry you forever in my heart
Like I was in yours from the start

Here I stand at the edge of the woods, hands trembling
At the thought of entering
How am I gonna do this
My sanctuary I miss

But it was taken away
One evil dark day
Once what brought me joy
Now seems to destroy
No longer happy memories
Me in his clutch is all I see

Please my friend take my hand and lead me
For the images he left are beastly
Hold me tight while I grive
For his dark deeds seethe
His putrid touch I still feel
It's to much, to real

I want my sanctuary back
I don't want this beautiful place to turn black
I want to hear the nightingale's song again
Watch the fish in the creeks swim
Watch the breeze
Play about the tree's
I want to once again sit quietly
Seeing the deer walk about so skittishly

Please my friend hold me tight
So these thoughts of his invasion I can fight
Please stay right beside
So when it gets to much in your arms I can hide
This time the darkness I can't fight on my own
For the cut he left was down to the bone
So grip my hand tight and lead me in
One deep breath let us begin
Confronting the memory where it began
Hold on to me so I can stand
Help me dear friend take back this land

I wish I was a big fat brown furry squirrel
Up in the walnut trees I'd scamper and twirl
Collect my delicious nuts for the frigid winter time
Invite squirrl friends over to party and dine
Take sweltering summer days to run, jump and play
Frighten some silly song birds along the way
No worries of the coming days
No bill collectors at the door to pay
To just live wildly free
Like nature was ment to be
Live out my life in a comfy hole I made in that old walnut tree
That tree was here in my grandpa's days, it's as sturdy as can be
In the winter curl into a warm ball and try to remember
Of where I hid my stash of nuts,  come December
I want to be a big fat happy squirrel
Never angain a sad woman-girl

Drowning
On dry land
Chest heaving
Lungs burning
Fresh air
All around
Lungs won't accept
Panic ensues
Inhaler sought
Sweet air returns
Death evaded
Asthma *****

There's a typhoon a monsoon
Of catastrophic misery, agony, and doom
The pain keeps raining down
In my sorrow I will surely drown
An ocean of emotion and I can't swim
My soul's light is growing dim
The sky just keeps bleeding
My tolerance it's exceeding
In this inky blackness I am sinking
My soul keeps on shrinking
From this psychalgia there is no exception
There is no redemption
In this anguish
Is where I'll languish
In this tribulation I will suffer
There is no hope I will ever recover
In this desolation I will moan and wail
This despair is my last coffin nail

Flashbacks of a confidant fool
Flying through life with out any rules
Headlong into danger
The adrenaline rush is an intoxicating flavor
Thoughts of past injuries are nothing but flashes
As quickly he dashes
With those famous last words on his lips
WATCH THIS!!!!

Imagine the earth as a big metal ball
Now see a crow with beak and claw
He sits on that ball and sharpens it beak
Millennium after millennium, week after week
Till that crow's beak was so sharp, no words could explain
Whittling that steel earth sized ball down to the tiniest piece of grain


That dear friend will be the VERY beginning of eternity  
How is that for clarity

I'm not everyone's cup of tea
Then again I'm whisky!!!!!

What's behind the Bright Red Door, is it all my dreams come true
Is this where Time and Circumstances has secretly hidden you
Did Circumstances steal you away before the light of day
Keeping you confined, for reasons Time won't say

Should I crack it open, take a peek, do I dare explore
Do I even want to know the secrets of the Bright Red Door

Maybe it's my lost childhood, that behind it is imprisoned
Books read at bedtime, awake before the sun has risen
Mud pies are made, fire flies chased and all my mistakes forgiven
Before the division, when Happily Ever After was still envisioned

Should I crack it open, take a peek, do I dare explore
Do I even want to know the secrets of the Bright Red Door

Wonder if it's my future there, right beyond that door
I know my past, I know my present, both have left me floored
Would it finally all work out, or the universe's fatal blow
I'm still holding tightly on to hope, so do I really want to know

Should I crack it open, take a peek, do I dare explore
Do I even want to know the secrets of the Bright Red Door

Standing in front of it, mindlessly wringing my hands
Heart beats, that of a humming bird that never lands
Skin on fire, as it turns white with the fear
Hand shaking, turning cold as the **** comes near

Should I crack it open, take a peek, do I dare explore
Do I even want to know the secrets of the Bright Red Door

If old dreams lie behind it, can't I simply dream anew
If it's a lost childhood imprisoned, it's ok, with the years I grew
If the future, shouldn't it remain unseen, leaving hope to grow
For as mere humans we're ment to look forward, only to tomorrow

I turn away from that Bright Red Door, temptation firmly resisted
What does lie beyond, I'm sure is severely twisted

©Pauline Russell

She used the stars as her blanket, the moon was her pillow
Her name is carried on every limb of every weeping willow  

The winds of change she often road
A free wild soul, through the cosmos she flowed

In the Milky Way she liked dipping in her toes
Can't you see the silver ripples as they flow

When on Saturn's rings she would go for a twirl
That shinny raven night hair always waved out behind her

She would wash her soul clean in Jupiter's  falls
She always loved listening to that planets howling wind's calls

But now  she sits on the Dark Side of the Moon
In her twinkling dark eyes, tears are in bloom

They are flowing down her checks, falling out into space
She is crying because she finally got a look at this pathetic human race

Saddened and sicken by what she saw
She jetted of into the cosmos, never to return at all

Now we can only tell stories of that raven haired beauty, as we set beside her shore
It is a sea of her tears, when the sorrowful ways of man she could take no more

Years ago......today was the day I died
****** it to this wicked world to survive

I don't no where I was before this life
But I'm sure it was sweeter than all this strife

Because on that day at the window seal sat the inky black Crow
To witness the birth of another dead soul

I was here but now I'm gone
No one needs to hear my sad sappy song
Of a life that's been so wrong
Gonna put an end to it, it's been to long

Nightmares invade sleep
Awake till the morning light
Sweet dreams a rare treat

Little baby Abel
Rocks in his cradle
He doesn't know his fate yet
But his killer he has met

Little boy Cain
Standing in the lane
He doesn't know his fate yet
Wonder if he'll feel regret

Abel always did what he was told
Cain was adventurous and bold
Abel was the baby, apple of his parent's eye
Cain could see this and it made him cry

Look after your younger brother he was told
And with that anger was sowed
Cain couldn't go and do his own thing
To his brother he was chained

And the day at the alter was the final straw
Cain was filled with jealousy by what he saw
Even God loved Abel more than him
So he committed his first sin

A split decision was made
And soon on the ground his brother layed
Abel's blood soon soaked the ground
And from heaven came an awful sound

God spoke to Cain for the very first time
"In this land that is mine"
"You can no longer stay"
"You now must travel far away"

Now their parents lost two sons
They had showen more favor over one
And in return they lost both of them
Abel killed by his brother's hand, Cain by God himself condemned

With all this stress I'm starting to crack
You'll find me here like a turtle on my back
I can't get up, even though I try
But like that turtle I'll just stay here and die

I pray everyday to an empty sky
Wishing some entity would answer
Tell me why
But there is only silence
No answer form up on high
No hope for divine guidance
Is there nothing there
Or did the universe decide I wasn't worth it
They turn a blind eye, blind ear they don't care
Leaving me all alone
No one or thing that cares
Sitting on my bed all by myself at home

In my heart burns the brightest fire
Keeping the liquid rubies running through my veins
My scars shine the purest gold and silver
My tears the deepest
Sapphire blue
But my feet are made of clay

foreign lands I want to roam
Where Kings and Queens sit upon their throne
And big cats prowl, and wild dogs howl
And there's every kind of fowl
Where mighty elephants trumpet
And with tea they serve crumpets
I want to see the very old creations of man
I know I'd be their biggest fan
To walk the ground that Jesus tread
And feed the masses with seven loaves of bread
I would love to see the foreign sands
To get homesick, then return again to my home land

Here I stand at the edge of the woods, hands trembling
At the thought of entering
How am I gonna do this
My sanctuary I miss

But it was taken away
One evil dark day
Once what brought me joy
Now seems to destroy
No longer happy memories
Me in his clutch is all I see

Please my friend take my hand and lead me
For the images he left are beastly
Hold me tight while I grive
For his dark deeds seethe
His putrid touch I still feel
It's to much, to real

I want my sanctuary back
I don't want this beautiful place to turn black
I want to hear the nightingale's song again
Watch the fish in the creeks swim
Watch the breeze
Play about the tree's
I want to once again sit quietly
Seeing the deer walk about so skittishly

Please my friend hold me tight
So these thoughts of his invasion I can fight
Please stay right beside
So when it gets to much in your arms I can hide
This time the darkness I can't fight on my own
For the cut he left was down to the bone
So grip my hand tight and lead me in
One deep breath let us begin
Confronting the memory where it began
Hold on to me so I can stand
Help me dear friend take back this land

A person who wants nothing never can be bought
A person who won't fight never can be fought
A person who doesn't lie never can be caught
A person who won't play the game never can be used
A person who dosen't cheat will always pay his dues
A persons who never thinks can never have any views
A person who dosen't care what you think will never leave you confused
A person who has nothing they will never lose
So never judge another until you step into his shoes

So close to the edge, one lose pebble could send me plummeting
And I feel an earthquake coming

The fabric of my life is a tapestry
Woven together with tragedy

There are black threads of loneliness
Blue threads of sadness
Red threads of the angriness
Yellow threads for my minds sickness
Orange threads for craziness
Purple for my madness
Gray threads for deeds of heartlessness
Pink threads for those rare moments of tenderness
Of course there is clear, see through thread for the emptiness

Now look really close, fine little silver threads can be found of happiness
As well as shiny bright golden threads of hopfulness
It's what holds it all togeather
So no matter what storm I must weather
My beautifully tragic tapestry will be wrapped tight around me
The picture in the end will be so wonderfully sad and beautiful, it will make your eye's tear just to see

Your mind will have trouble comprehending how something so sad and tragic
Can create something so darkly beautiful, it seems like magic
It's because I've lived in the dark so long
I've learned to see beauty were it seems to not belong
Out of place and wrong

But in the darkness the silver and gold threads shine so bright
You would of never even seen them in the light