i spend my days waiting
for the awakening
of these tides
inside my mind
i hope you don't mind

i depend my days
on my trembling feet
and shaking hands
gambling on what's to come
i hope to survive

i whimpered as
i have been trapped
i have been played
i have been manipulated
by myself and by the time itself

My captain sailed the sea
Of waves and hurricanes
Of lovers of tears

My captain who sailed the sea
He cried upon a shore
Mermaids wailed, fishes gone for help

Where is My Captain who once sailed the sea?
He was no more by the shore
Then the ocean started to mourn

He was found, My Ol' Captain
Laying rotten dead
Beneath the ship, covered red
It was heartache, they said

i walked by myself
here and there
just to feel
whether the existence of I is sensed or the opposite

i ripped myself
in and out
just to see
if there are no chances in survival or somehow some parts will heal

i love and i care
for myself and I
just in case
just in case no one can and will

how to manage
this world
from falling apart
when the lands are cracking
and the humans are failing?

how to save
our only chance of living
when the only thing
that they think are worth saving
are themselves?

how to intrigue
those minds
whose corrupted
by the idea of wealthiness
not healthiness?

how to mend
these broken minds?
how to purified
these darkened souls?
how to be
good for this hollow world?

so like shreds of dandelions
we flew up and everywhere
sharing thoughts and hopes
for those who seeks comfort
inside this cold world

Brooklyn
is LONGING for his warm presence
because this place is cold
without him—
the fallen SOLDIER
who was lost in a sight
of a snow angel
in a battle of FRIGHT CAR

faith
that we never loose
and a pinch
of a never ending hope
awaiting for his HOMECOMING
in a cold Brooklyn
that even with
the heat radiating from a FURNACE
the cold won't melt away

catching
a hold of the SOLDIER
in a mid-frozen way
and in count from ONE—
to NINE
he become a man of no BENIGN
tempted by control
triggered by words of fear
he comply himself as a SOLDIER
of cold blooded missions
and for that cause—
Soviet is harsh

darkness
on a DAYBREAK
was enough to fill harshness
inside parts of him
that are already RUSTED
as the result of
being more a machine
than a man himself

wishing
from the depth of his consciousness
that he could turn back time
to where he was SEVENTEEN
with a hold of a friend
and a smile that was genuine
not a killing
and a destruction machine
that he is now

we waltzed
into the bridge of
a ballad melody
slowly crippling upon our feet
steadying everything
to ensure the one whose falling is
nothing close to the heart

the melody
dawned us into
a trick of pain we need to evade
to ensure that neither you
nor i got the scratches
from the shooting arrows of the Amor's

before the cacophony blaze came
deafening the ground
we swore to never cross the swollen hope
and bring ourselves to another fallout
even with the closeness just
an inch of breathing the air
of a faintest droplet of eternity

and again
we need to ensure
not to let the feelings infiltrate our waltzing ground
not to let other sound come ruining the walls
which we have construct for too many years—
to be called for another destruction

to who does speak
with nothing but words
crippling from the end of
the linked glass
between the lips
and the kiss

line of phrases
formed to emerge the soul
whose hidden within
another dimension
of the body itself

phrases came out gracefully
without any notice
while the lips hangs heavily,
the bones stand coherently,
and the tattered heart restrain poorly

to the one who does speak
owning only oneself
or not being heard
was not the problem—

—it was
the hollow feeling,
vacant presence of a body,
and another void
which could throw the soul
into a pitch black of darkness
with silenced thoughts and mouth
as no one is going to be there
to take a peek
or even save the ****** life

Monochromatic scene was displayed
Within the darkness of night
Where they built the tents
and held the game of fate
For them to finally met,
to cross each other's paths

As they roamed around the circus
The smell of caramels
also the scent of daydreams
Filled their minds and hearts
With warmth and hopes

Blurry images moved pass them
As the carousel drove them into dizziness
of an overwhelming feeling
Which was dangerous
For them to endure

Golden flames illuminating
While they took a dance
under the moonlight
Though they realize
That their feelings were eternal enigmas
Which would take lifetime to solve

But they also know
The hidden secrets
About the silver linings
Holding every possible dreams
Filled with rays of happiness
Within the night circus

Times drove us into an endless road of possibilities.
Where I saw the light of hope amongst the stars.
A smidgen of electricity was sent through my entire body,
A smidgen of this endearing feeling runs between the heart and mind—
After our encounter under the starry night skies,
the shared dreams and drinks,
and the whispered of senseless mumbles.

Scattered leaves of Autumn companying beneath,
As the alluring voices from between your crooked teeth,
lull me to another happy ending dream.
As I thought about a figure and a smile as beautiful as yours.
Also the way your eyes glisten under the darkness,
and the tingling scent of yours,
Which brought back the tightening knots—
—Around my lung, heart, and throat.

And before the sun peeked from its horizon,
You asked me,
"Do you love me?"
I leaned to kiss you and whispered,
"Just a smidgen."

It was the rose
Who he misses
That once was his
Until one day he shattered it into pieces

It was the willow
Who he mistook for love
But he refuses to believe
That he's now in the sharp-edged of betrayal

The rose he was once longing for
Has grown itself into a magnificent one
Guarded by mischievous sacred shields
Even he can't divert any glance without causing his heart to hurt
But he'd do anything for his rose

And the willow too has grown
Into a dauntingly poisonous one
Also hazardous to touch
Even he's suffocating from the lies it built

He begin to wonder for the sake of love
For the guilt of breaking his rose
For misunderstanding his love

And he began to misses his rose once again
Though he doesn't deserve much
He's willing to get hurt to earn its love
It was his rose after all—
Who he hurt millions time harder a while ago

My heart is burning in the acid land of yours
Hurting every single images of our beautiful hours
You were nothing like the angel everyone said
You are the devil living in the angel's mind
As you took everything from me
As you took everyone from me

I am deserted
With this ashes that once was my heart
That once was beautiful and yours
Every path I took lead me back to you
So I stood still
Not wanting to walk, to run, to go back to you

And I'm waiting for someone to finally come
Saving me and wanting me from their deepest heart
To lead me back to the path where everything is beautiful
To make my rotten heart fresh and new
To love me wholly where they won't let my heart slip from their hands and let it burn like what you did

And they will make the oath upon the angel's land
Not like you when you made it upon the devil's hell

Here's a story about how she's gone:

Once she said she doesn't fit anymore
Again she said she had been trying for too long
Thought someone would understand her but there was none
So she run, run, run and found herself running alone
She's wondering about her friends and parents and all
Her thoughts started to fill her mind and making herself drown
Drowning her down, down, and down

Anger and rage started to consume
Making herself looks like a fool
Realising she's just a burden
For her friends, parents, and all

She started to run, run, run and found an empty room
Inside there's a desk, chair, knife, and writing tools
She then begin to sit down
And tried to remember all her misfortunes
All her problems and insecurities
She's never going to fit in this huge world with perfect people
That was what's on her mind

Her trembling hands began to write
She was feeling more free and light
After what she had done

Looking at her body from above
She smiles so bright
She had write what needs to be written
Only a straight line on her skin
Straight through her vein
With red ink, leaving stain everywhere
And that was what she write; her own death

And that's the story about how she had gone.

behind the shadow
he follows
the thief girl
she didn't notice
—of course
she was afraid of dark
—at first


and the day came;
the tanks were everywhere,
airplanes high in the air,
people were running,
and she was hidding;
in the shadow,
where there's no light

it was the time they finally met
so he asked her  
how was out there beyond the light
she answered
it was bad

he shakes his head
that's not the answer-
describe it with your own words,
describe it like it is your eyes who speaks.
—he asked for the second time
his eyes are full of curiousity
her mind wonder to the event she saw just then


the flash was everywhere—
—she begin
dark water covered the ground—
—she continues
it was all chaotic and awful—
—then she told him all the stories


soon the loud sound intruded them
her eyes turns so dull
she fell lifelessly
he then saw the red flash on the ground
—so he run
he was no longer bound to the shadow,
he doesn't even know how
and soon he realise there's no more place to hide,
neither in the light nor in the dark
there's no more safe place
and he run;
now he's the guy with no shadow

old boxes
filled with;
                   secrets
words muttered incomplete
body who's fragile;
                           was a liar
blank white pages;
                           was the one who writes
                           filling boxes with all lies
tell me lies,
the one who gets bruises
tell, i insist.


dear, tell me all of your secrets,
boxes filled with secrets.
                      the sounds of the fragile,
                      tell me who dies
                      when all the blood dries.


soft voice of cracks
where all the secrets lies
blank white page,
it was.
soaked by blood;
                           people of innocence.

Drink with me, baby.
I know you want it badly.
But why did you look so worry?
When you know that it will makes you happy?

So, drink with me, baby.
For a while it is necessary,
for letting away your agony
and those thoughts of sanity.

So, drink with me baby.
Who cares about sins?
when all you can feel is pain?
and there is no happy things you gain?
And what if it was your only ocassion,
to left all your pain behind?

Drink with me, baby.
No pressure this time.
It is all your decison,
for choosing to bear all the pain
or to be happy for a while.