There's this little thing who was born in the sewer
Her name, they all say, is Society
Pretends she's all that, but she's really nothing newer
They say she never once spoke the truth.

Society likes to pick in the brains of young girls
Likes to meanly whisper in their ears,
"You're fat, you're worthless, you're the ugliest there is!"
What good does that do? It brings them to tears.

Society likes to mess with the minds of young boys
Likes to torment them by teasing,
"You're skinny, you cry, you aren't manly enough!"
Society makes sure it sure isn't pleasing.

Society likes to mess with the minds of in-betweens or not-at-alls
Likes to belittle, judge, and taunt
"Why can't you be normal? No one likes you!"
It goes on and on. Society likes to daunt.

Society herself doesn't have a care in the world
She never thought once about anyone's feelings
All day she picks at everyone she can find
All night she waits for them to wake, on their ceilings.

jeans that are a little bit too tight
numbers on the scale that you have to fight
she wanted it badly, she stayed up all night
to her, the future seemed bright

online articles about low-calorie diets
no-carb, low-carb, high-protein try-its
she thought it was the perfect way
to lose that extra layer, so they say

she noticed it working on tuesday at noon
it was working, working so soon
she was pleased with the results it gave
soon it became less to eat and more to crave

she thought she had it all under control
who cares if she ate less than one bowl?
she never ate until she was full
soon she faded away and her eyes became dull

the noodles
sit in the warm,
steamy water
they've turned
soft and mushy

left in too long
why? well,
you see,
this person who
wanted to eat them

suddenly had an
intrusive thought;
this caused this person
to get anxious
about eating

so the noodles
were abandoned
in the starchy water
left there
to drown

Dust off that old diary,
with scribbles and pictures
of dreamy days stuck inside,
its pages filled with unspoken words.

Open its frayed brown cover.
Pieces of paper with secrets inscribed on them
fall gracefully to the floor,
freed from their trap.

Pick up the yellowish notes and read them,
memories of forgotten times you remember.
Flip through the breaking pages of the book,
the one you once called your best friend.

Read through the past, relive it;
the golden, precious words fill your mind.
Cry silently and softy as you think of how far you've come,
how very different you are now.

Close the diary and watch the dust billow.
Set it down and smile,
the sunlight caressing your face,
its golden glow a reassurance of today.

i never know
what to say
i try my best
but i fade away

i'm so lonely
i want to talk
i have no friends
so instead i stalk

come over here
i think in my head
no one hears
so i lie in bed

She covers the bags under her eyes with a face mask
and her split ends with conditioner,
her bitten ****** nails with pure white polish,
and calls her binge eating "treating herself"

She tells herself it's self care --
pretends she's doing herself a favor
by covering up her pain
so she doesn't have to look it in the face.

But face masks peel off
and conditioner washes away,
those perfect white nails will chip and wear off,
and eating disorders were never a treat
in the first place.

She climbed like fire
from the cold claws--
"Not today," she said
Shaking her head.

It came back,
gnawing at her skin
Picking at her head
"No!" she yelled.

It crept up again
Its shivery smile deceiving
She met its eyes
And sighed, before walking away.

But it stuck with her.
Pleasant, yet sickening.
Beautiful but disgusting--
She stopped.

Looked over her shoulder;
It was still there,
Its red gleaming eyes full
of knowing evil.

Her eyes turned the color of fire
She touched its scales
Stroked its flesh
Eyes full of forbidden wonder.

She took a blade, in her pocket,
And looked at her wrists.
The blue rivers of gushing red
Intrigued her.

It noticed how easy she was
To control;
It hissed in her ear
And told her "Yes!"

That was all she needed--
She became one with it
When she sliced open her arm
And became slowly absorbed.

Soon she was gone
With the blue rivers,
Carried away by lies
And deceived by evil.

why do i feel so small
when i look up into the sky and see the stars?

there are so many of them,
they take my breath away

i can't help but realize, with a sad smile,
how insignificant

my life
really is

to be honest,
it's somewhat relieving

and reassuring
to see all those stars up there

to remember that we are all
just a speck of dust

even less,
perhaps

in this universe
that we call our own

and that if we were to fade away
the universe would still persist

i look at myself in that long, ***** mirror --
the lighting is bad and i look ghost-like
in the shadows of the room

i lift up my oversized t-shirt
and my eyes fall to the blunt cuts
that grace my soft skin

i try not to do this too often
but lately it has become much too hard
to ignore for long

the blade that rests in my sweaty palm
feels like a million pounds
as i bring it to my stomach

There is this person
with electric blue hair
who I am constantly
intrigued by.

Look at their skin;
like porcelain, it's so
pale
and icy cold.

Their eyes speak to my heart--
the green and brown
moving in harmony
and making me smile.

They always have
black eye shadow around
these brown and green irises;
so bold.

I can't tell if they're a boy
or a girl--
maybe they're both
or neither.

They almost never speak
But their voice moves
smooth like milk
And their laugh is contagious.

But underneath their fake smiles
I know their secret--
The red marks that cover their skin
The scars that speak for themselves.

He thinks about that airplane
Flying above his house
What would happen if...
But it won’t.
But what if it actually...
No.

He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to think of something else
He covers his ears to hide the noise
It only makes it worse

His heart races inside his chest
He feels nauseous and dizzy
He tries again to think of anything but the plane
To no avail...

He feels so alone
His anxiety stops him from being happy
From doing what he loves
Being who he wants to be

He just wants it to stop
and
go
away.

depression doesn't care
if you've got millions of dollars
or you're just getting by.

depression doesn't care
if you've got loving friends and family
or you're all alone.

depression doesn't care
if you've got a successful career
or you're unemployed.

depression doesn't look at your life situation.
depression is a mental illness, not an emotion.
depression doesn't care.

i'm inside
but i watch the snowflakes fall from the gray sky
through my window.
the floral curtains that hang there
stand out,
as if willing spring to come

soon
it will, its warm breeze blowing the snow away.
for a moment, winter meets spring
but then, it's gone with the wind
waving goodbye.
soon it will be time

but as for now,
i watch the snowflakes, sitting here;
just a day in march.
i don't miss the snow,
but i know that soon
i will

and listen
to the sound
of your breath

one day,
you won't hear it
anymore

am i worth it?

the question i ask at 2 am
when my eyes start to feel scratchy
and my mind feels foggy

or on the fourth of july
watching those blue and red explosions
grace the dark blue sky

or walking through the autumn trees
to step on their crisp leaves
to make that satisfying sound

am i, though?
does my life
have any meaning?

I like my green converse
They aren’t black, like the night without the moon and stars
Or the bottom of the ocean
Or the greasy cast iron pan
They aren’t red, like the blood
That flows in my veins
Or the sunset at seven
Or the maraschino cherries in my fridge
They’re green,
Like the grass beneath my feet
Like the painting in my dining room
Like a ripening banana
Green is my favorite color,
so I like my green converse

I talked you through your dark times,
when you felt so alone
when no one else was willing

I left you alone
when you got angry at me
for trying to help

Why am I still here
with you
after all I've gone through because of you?

Because,
because I love you

The silver tide sloshed to the shore
But soon shivered back to the black
It was leisurely lured once more

The chill autumn breeze
The tall and brown rustling trees
Come dead falling leaves

wiping away the tears i shed
hoping you don’t notice the pain in my head
all day, i just lie in bed
my days are filled with dread

A whirlwind of dry, colorful leaves float to the sky
As the breeze picks up, birds start to fly
Autumn trees dance along,
As if it were a song.
The sun casts their shadows on the chilly ground.

Our love only exists in a picture frame.

Yes, it's sad.
I often think of all our good times;
all the laughter.

Then I remember why we are no more;
because of me.

I keep it on my desk.
It sits there, collecting dust.
Sometimes I have to put it away.

"How can I love someone who doesn't love themselves?"
I remember your words.
They cut into my heart.

I'm why our love only exists in a picture frame.
Yes, it's sad.

No more kissed cheeks or warm blush,
no more holding hands or open smiles.

Did you think this would make me happier?
Well
you were wrong.

All my happiness
exists in you.

The voice of a flat clarinet
Sings through an open window
Through the warm, paved streets
Full of Honda Civics and ***** buses

The people turn off their bass blasting radios
And adjust their ears to the quiet music
Which softly sighs through the town
Through the busy bakery and the dusty church

The song dies too soon
And the world holds its breath
For one more second --
Exhaling noisy construction, business phone calls,
And the popular love songs that seem to play on repeat.

Forgetting the quiet clarinet song.

Clad in yellow low-tops
and second-hand jeans,
she walks through his heart --
with a curious mind, she explores.

You watch the sunrise through the stained glass windows
of the church you called your home
You see the colors dance across the quiet, dusty room
and fill the empty pews
On the streets, it’s not so bright. The cars drive,
their windshields full of sunlight
At night the lamps turn on, people sell themselves away,
drinking *****

It used to be a place full of happy people with good intentions
and bright minds,
until bullets shattered stained glass,
drops of blood stained the hymnals,
and screams filled the sanctuary
The sun has risen and you step back and turn around.
Safety is an empty word of false promises.
Nowhere is safe.

I reach my hands to the sky,
Knowing You will catch me
if I fall.
I love You.

My trust in You cannot be described
in words.
My love for you my mind
cannot comprehend,
Oh God,
I love You.

Every time I fall short of You
You hug me and tell me "It's okay;
"I forgive you."
I love You.

When anxiety creeps up on me,
You calm my soul
and remind me that You
have everything under control.
God,
I love You.

I find it curious the mystery of birds
cawing deep within a morning forest
somewhere in the distance through the mist;
they soar from tree to towering tree
through the faded green and brown
as the entire wood dances to the song
of the soft, lingering breeze.

The sunset in your eyes
gives me the light I need
to keep on trekking
through the mystery
of your broken heart

i cry myself to sleep because
i'm constantly scared you'll come back
(don't ever consider it)

i feel numb and empty because
you told me i was nothing
(and a worthless piece of trash)

i need therapy and take medicine because
you used to beat me
(it gave me ptsd)

i can't eat anymore because
you told me i didn't deserve to
(and i should **** myself)

i have no more friends because
you made me believe you were all i needed
(***** you)

The watch read five fifty-two
On a Saturday morning
The sky was dark blue
The stars a warning
that all that begins
must end,

It was now six-oh-one,
Morning had begun
The birds were singing their tune
For the watch-wearer would wake
soon

Another minute had passed
For time was not made to last
For now the world was
awake
Time is left to take.