The morning came
But I knew not
For still I laid
Smiling in your arms.

Hours trailed by
But we knew not
For time was just
A thing we spoke not of.

Soon midnight came
But I knew not
For still you cradled me
As we danced nakedly in love.

-ARI

Move with me
Follow me into my spins.
Where the strong smooth texture
Of worn, loved dance shoes
Soften our graceful landings.

Close your eyes and smile
And dream my dream of wonder.
Where the music wraps around our bodies
Guiding our every move.

Laugh with me
Lift your eyes to match mine
Watch me as our sorrows flee
And as our nightmares forever leave.

Move with me
As our tired hearts begin to weep
And our broken souls finally heal.
As the pain turns to peace.

Follow me into my spins.
Where the moon forever shines
And we forever dance.

-ARI

You had it
The job you wanted
Swore it'd change your life

And the house
You had truly believed
Was what your family needed

But your heart
Still felt too heavy
To give to your wife

Unable to understand
Why happiness never came
It wasn't something easily explained

So you searched
The moon and stars
And all the stories written

Hoping to find
Your peace and all
The hidden glories of heaven

Searching so long
You never saw, you
Already had what you needed

And you didn't
Even know the sound
Of your child's heart beating

Many years later
As your body began
To slowly tear itself apart

That is when
You stopped to listen
For that voice calling "daddy"

But by then
That child has gone
Your wife's light has died

That is when
You finally will realize
All that you really had

Everyone's a poet
Some simply have no clue,
But answer me one question;
What is a poet to you?

For me a Poet is a person,
a place, or thing;
To bring out such emotion
To make you cry or sing.

I know it may seem crazy,
But Darling look around;
A picture tells a story
Without a single sound.

A flower whispers truth
So softly in the ear
Of every child to close their eyes
So their hearts can hear.

A simple stone; grey and new
Could bring a proud man to his knees.
From his fathers name engraved;
Each letter tangled in his grief.

An unused baby blanket
Folded neatly in a woman's lap
Whispers what could've been
Of her child who will 'ever nap.

A sunrise over water
Rushing quickly past a bridge;
'Ever sings the tender stories
Of a young couple's marriage.

A man who neither speaks nor hears
Sits at home 'ever lonely,
But in a book upon his desk
He's etched vibrant sounds into his story.

You see, everyone's a poet
Some simply have no clue,
But answer me one question;
What is a poet to you?

-ARI

Kiss
Pale scars
Now peaceful
Proof pain can heal
But be 'ever mindful; 'ever aware
For beneath those scars a harsh giant sleeps
Red eyes will gleam
Arms will bleed
Be kind,
Child

-ARI

When I was just 14
I met a girl who looked like me
But there were differences
I truly couldn’t help but see

Like the way that her smile
Never seemed to reach her eyes
The ones of which I swear
Were long since devoid of life

I saw the way her hands
Cradled her own heart
The ones by which I know
Her own thighs were carved

And I could see her fighting
The dire urge to scream
And refusing to give in
To the cry she truly needs

-ARI

Why must they call me weird?
Its obvious I dont belong here.
Why must I be different?
Maybe one day Ill just dissappear

My life could be so different
If I could see normally.
If only I could hear them,
Without them having to scream.

They take one look at the plastic
wrapped around my ears.
Stare at my thick glasses
And whisper so I cant hear.

-ARI

Beauty beauty,
All around.
In the sky,
And on the ground.

Beauty written,
On a child's face.
Beauty filling,
This world with grace.

-ARI

You look at me and think I am broken
For you've seen the scars kissing my skin
You think I am jaded
For you've not seen the vibrant places I've been.
You look at me and see
A little girl without a dream
A little girl with no degree.
But if you'd open your heart, open your eyes
You would see

I've been a hiker
Climbing foreign mountain peaks
A swimmer exploring a clear blue wild sea
I've been a lover to a foreign man
I once even had the ring.

I've been a traveler
Asking for directions
Asking which way I should go.
I've been a foreigner in a foreign country,
Oh you've no clue how much I've grown.

You see the slight limp
Of my tired right leg
My hand rubbing the pain away.
You see the scars wrapped around my ankle
Snaking its way up to my knee.

You see the lines
Trailing from my tired eyes
The sun spots, on my neck.
You think I'm exhausted; I'm worn out
You've no idea what those marks are about.

I've been a hiker
Climbing foreign mountain peaks
A swimmer exploring a clear blue wild sea
I've been a lover to a foreign man
I once even had the ring.

I've been a wanderer
Finding home wherever I'd go
Finding a thousands eternities
Wrapped up in flowers; wrapped up in families
I would become a part of.

You look at me
You see nothing
But inside
I am everything.

ARI

She was left to drown in sorrow
with the chilled pavement digging into her knees
with weeping skies and wailing winds
and all the worn down thoughts
stored in the darkest crevices of her mind.

Her lovely skin was forever twisted
beaten, battered, degraded
she was petrified and frozen in time
with the taunting children who danced around her
pitching stones in her face

She savored the darkness
of which always surrounded her
the moment the sun once again left her
suddenly she stood with her arms above her head
and she began to sway, she began to move

Her heart began to beat again
as her body began to warm
and she decided she would be free
with a renewed darkened sense of hope
she ran in desperation to her favorite place

Elated, excited, overjoyed
that girl was impossibly delighted
though she was tremulous and a bit unsure
she was done with being depressed, dejected and alone
Finally she will be too far away for them to find her

-ARI

I told you that you gave me scars
And the look upon your face
Was that of deep despair.
Your eyes met mine and I watched
As pain and guilt filled them
I couldn't help but smile.

For scars are what we receive
When damage to our bodies heal
And the pain we felt starts to leave.
I had many open wounds
Across my tattered soul and heart
I could barely manage to breathe.

But you wound your arms lovingly Around my waist and you held
My shattered soul together.
Your kiss upon my once shy cheek
Seeped deeply into my aching chest
As the salve my burnt heart needed.

You gave me angelic scars of which
Are the product of your touch
Weaving together my brokenness.
The scars you gave me
Have made me whole in every way
I love our intricate scars.

-ARI

I hated to be touched.
I could not stand the feel
Of another's hand against my skin.

I hated company.
For I was too afraid
Of what others were capable of.

I hated to be loved.
I never did believe
Those three little words too often said.

I hated myself.
For I found no worth;only anger
Trapped inside my ever open eyes.

But then,

You came along.

Now I love to be touched.
Only by your loving hand
Often stroking my rosy cheeks.

I love to be around people.
For you taught me how to find
Those you would never mean any harm.

Now I love to be loved.
For you taught me how to feel
All the good more than the bad.

Now I love myself.
For you taught me how to find my soul
Behind the darkened shards of broken glass.

I thought I wanted death.
Then you came along;
You taught me how to live




For you taught me how to breathe

I watched you when we were younger
I listened to your words.
I played by your rules
And followed you tender laughter.
Years later down the road
We walked side by side always.
No secrets hung between us
Only shared stories surrounded us.
Then one day our nightmares broke free
Of the cages they were locked in.
Now Ive watched you die a hundred times
Yet each time felt brand new.
Ive watched you fall apart
And knew you couldn't see me anymore.
You only felt my arms wrapped around you
Keeping you from falling to the ground.
My words floating around you
Trying to caress your battered heart.
I tried to help you
But you were broken.
Now I lay here helplessly
Now youre gone and I am broken.
Im sorry I let you go
Im sorry I couldn't save you like I promised I would.

-ARI

When the skies rip open
the tears start pouring
the world not knowing
what is wrong

When your heart starts breaking
your whole body aching
that's how you know
she's really gone

I can read your fears
I can hear your cries
you're down on your knees
begging to know why

Why she'd have to go
why'd he have to die
what was the reason
for ending their lives

Is this all real
or just an illusion
trapped inside my
Ever twisting mind

When the skies tear open
the tears start pouring
the whole world not knowing
what's going wrong

When your heart keeps breaking
your whole body aching
that's how you know
he's really gone

I know that you're afraid
you will forget
the color of her eyes
the laughter falling from his lips

I can hear you crying
when you think no ones around
I can see you drowning
when your standing in a crowd

When the skies burst open
the tears always pouring
the world not knowing
all that is wrong

When your hearts left hallow
your hope so shallow
that's how you know
they're really gone


-ARI

The sound of her breathing
Had faded away
As did the sound
Of her weary heart beating

Eyelids laid heavy
Against lifeless cheeks
So many mouths around her
Not one dared to speak

Her hands felt foreign
Too cold; too blue
Daddy softly whispered
"God say it's not true"

At 16 he should be teaching
Her exactly how to drive
Grasping his seatbelt
Praying for dear life

Instead he's left staring
At her name carved in stone
It's proof that his precious girl
Is never coming home

So he cries upon the earth
Where his daughter lies
Swallowed by the pain a parent
Feels when their child dies

He cries for all the years
She will never live
For all the tender love
She will never know or give

He cries for all the memories
She will never get to make
For her picture on his nightstand
His heart a constant ache

He cries for his little girl
Who will never have the chance to be
The beautiful young lady
Who turned 17.

-ARI

She was something so marvelous,
Something I could never understand.

Her smile said a thousand words,
Although her lips rarely made a sound.

Her eyes held abandoned stories,
Like none I have ever heard before.

Her laughter like a song so sweet,
Not an artist could do her justice.

I watched her fall apart one day,
And then I realized just what she was.

She was a gift so rare to live;
The perfect poem with a heartbeat.

-ARI

I was awakened by
Her wailing cries dripping
From the ceiling fan.

Gnarled fingernails unearthing
Every defect shadowed by
Cheaply colored cloth.

Her desolate eyes of malice
Bitterly waltzing across
My 'ever bone-weary limbs.

Maniacal grin gleefully thriving
On the heinous mutilation
Of my once unblemished soul.

Her exuberant howls mangling
My already asphyxiated mind
As my heart yearned for extrication.

Deafening silence devoured
The withdrawn girl until her lips
Forever cradled Anorexia's kiss.

-ARI

So many times I've come close to dying.
Its gotten to the point that it seems like death,
Is this horrid creature hiding in my shadows.
She is stalking me,
Pushing me,
Teasing me,
And constantly punishing me.
The few times I barely made it,
I kept waking up with the picture of my best friend dying.
Seeing him become a cold,
Stiff slab of flesh,
Laying on a hospital bed.
I hear his sisters screams ringing through my ears,
And feel her blood dripping down my arms,
From where she held her simple silver razors.
Death has become a tease.
I am tired of waking up with these images,
Destroying my once peaceful thinking.
I should be the one 8ft under,
And I am ready for death to take me.
I am tired of living,
And I am tired of these darkened thoughts poisoning me.

-ARI

Let me go,
Don't hold me tight.
I cant be near you,
Because this isn't right.
You tell her you love her,
Then leave her for me.
Then make me the bad guy,
When shes as mad as can be.
I loved you I swear,
But you broke my fragile heart.
You were mine for a while,
Then your lies tore me apart.
Don't claim you are mine,
Then tell her your not.
Stop kissing my lips and saying you care,
‘Cause Ive found you don’t want me in the ways I had thought.

-ARI

She is
The late night
Drunken stupor
Resulting from a too
Expensive liquor night.

She is
The silent
Dinner hastily set
For one, with enough
Wine to knock out three.

She is
The shattered
Windshield creating
Mosaic pieces splayed
Across asphalt; irreparable.  

She is
The yesterday of
My revived soul and
Mind; never forgotten, yet
Finally forgiven for my scars.

-ARI

So many things I wanted,
So many things I dreamed.
All the things I thought I had,
Were nothing as they seemed.

-ARI

The razor
Oh God, that razor!
I swear it lived inside her flesh!
I couldn't make it disappear.

Her cries,
Like acid being poured into my ears
I couldn't stand it!
Her pain destroyed me.

Bony fingers
Always gripping my wrists
I swear her trembling touch
****** away my aching soul.

Help me!
"Please help me understand!"
But she wouldn't
Because she was unable to.

That razor,
Oh God, that razor!
It became my friend that night
Because finally I understood.

Bony fingers,
Resting in my weary hands
I blame myself for her starvation
For I had nothing left to give.

-ARI

Dear darling,
I decided to brave
The haunting winter
If only for today.
I took your sled,
The dark blue one
Of which you've always loved,
And marched it to the top
Of your favorite hill.

I sat silently for many moments
Simply to remember
The way your eyes
Would shine with wonder
The second your feet reached the top.

As I looked down the path
We have taken
So many times before,
My heart shattered once again
Knowing I am no longer
Able to look down my side
To see your sweet rosy cheeks
And crooked smile
Aiming straight for my soul.
The rivers seemed to never cease
As they poured from my eyes.
My lonely hands are frozen,
For there is no warmth,
Now that your small hands
Are forever gone from mine.

She was in love with falling
So sweetly into his smile

She was in love with falling
So deeply into his arms.

She was in love with falling
happily into his bed.

She learned to hate falling
When he said goodbye.

Because falling has a different meaning
When no one is there to catch you.

-ARI

I seem to be
yet again,
trapped by your voice.
Your words acting
As a spindle
Wrapping me tightly
around your finger.

Your "love" seeming
to be,
as a hour glass.
Quickly flowing
Yet slowly dwindling
And soon to come
To a forever ending.

You always leave me
Feeling like,
A doll left alone.
My marble eyes
Shining yet empty
As you gaze at me
From a far.  

-ARI

Reach your arms out for me
When your tired limbs have grown too weak
Fold your trembling fingers into mine
And we will never be lost in time

With each step by step and breath by breath
We will forever strive to do our best
So we may learn and we may grow
Until the day we've said our last hello

-ARI

When the time comes
For my eyes to 'ever close
And for my Heavenly
Father to call me home;

I hope my lips hold onto
A faint forever smile
Of which often spread
Heartfelt "I love you"'s

I hope my hair will be
A flowing stream of silver
With flowers placed
Sweetly around my head.

I hope my wrinkles
Are like an intricate map
Of the vibrant life
I've tried my best to live.

I hope my heart is
Filled with everlasting
Memories of which
My loved ones gave me.

I hope my name
Brings joy to those
Who speak it when
Their hearts are missing me.

For that is how
My grandmother
Left us; with pure love
Wrapped around our souls.

-ARI

Beauty should
Never be measured
By skin
Hair, make-up, money
Nor fame.

For we
Are meant to be more
Than simple
Mannequins designed by
Paid keepers.

Beauty is
Enchanting dreams that
Dance upon
The surface of your
Living soul.

The glimmer
In wide eyes watching
Boats sway
To silent melodies beneath
The sky.

Beauty was
Never meant to be used
Against ambitious
Children trapped inside our
Broken hearts.

We were
Meant to love the bodies
We have
Been given; like a small child
Holding flowers.

-ARI

He was like a gentle melody
I hadn't had a name for
Playing on repeat inside my head.
But once I read the lyrics
I realized I didn't like the twisted words
The seemingly peaceful song had said.

-ARI

..to sad songs because,
      I don't want to feel
                           alone..

-ARI

Ive thought of you often
This past month
Often lost inside my head.

Ive thought of your dark brown eyes
Made up of
Mischief and practical jokes.

Ive thought of you laughing
Sometimes at me
Although usually, we laughed together.

Ive thought about all of us
Four best friends
Loud, young, and inseparable.

You were the big brother
Of us all
By blood for them; by heart for me.

We use to dream of
Being forever invincible
Until that one November day.

I Imagine what your face looked like
When you realized
Your car was no longer safe.

I will always remember the looks
Upon theirs faces
When that doctor told us to say goodbye.

November 23rd became the day
Four became three
As the innocence was bled from our hearts.

Sometimes I wish I could forget
Youre now gone
But I don't want to forget you.

-ARI

Poetry,
Such a simple word.
Though it carries such meaning
For a broken little girl
Such as myself.

Pathetic,
Im sure is how I seem.
For the nights I cried alone
With red angry liquid
Dripping from my arms.

Relieved,
Is what I began to feel.
When I found poetry spilling
From the bruised pores
Of my twisted mind.

Alone,
I no longer felt.
For as long as I had a pen and paper,
I was always safe and free
I no longer screamed.

Words,
Became my saving grace.
As they formed in the wet ink
I put onto my paper
I could write forever.

Dark,
Is how my poetry is seen.
People always ask me if I am alright
I tell them it should be obvious
That I am.

Paper,
That is what I take my anger out on.
I no longer hate myself
Because poetry taught me
To always write it out.


-ARI

I just found out the reason
Of why I hate you so much

Realizing you were the one
Who broke me first

Im not sure why it took so long
To notice the scars upon my heart

To remember the words of which you said
And the songs that you would sing

You pulled me in and wrapped me tight
To give me a false sense of safety

You held my hand and kissed my lips
But I ignored the abuse you gave me

Little by little you shrunk me down
Until you had every ounce of me

That is when you smiled
The cruelest smile I have ever seen

Funny how it takes me seconds
To notice even the smallest things

But it took me years to realize
You were the first to break me


-ARI

Hush!
Don't make a sound
Shes coming
Can you hear her?

No!
Don't open your eyes!
If you see her
She will never leave.

Stop!
No!
Please, child
Don't listen to her!

Shes lying!
Beauty is not kind
Beauty is not caring
Beauty only wants your soul!

She will scrape her eyes
From the top of your head
to the tips of your toes
and she will laugh

She will mock you!
She will make you
Wish for a death so cruel.
She will make you hate yourself!

You will be glued
Helplessly weighing yourself
Begging God to take away
Just five more pounds

Then one day
Beauty will leave you
Crumpled up on the bathroom floor
Barely a breath inside your lungs

As her hateful eyes turn to walk away
The last sight you will ever see
Will be the broken spine
Of the demon named Ana.

-ARI

I wonder why you never came
When I needed you.
I wondered why you never cared
When I  was broken.
I wondered why I’m wasnt enough
To make you happy.
I wondered why I loved you
And why you said you loved me  too

-ARI