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I know you just as the eyes know God, they do not just as I do not.

To say I only know your physical is an understatement. The way your eyes still manage to gleam in the dullest light, much like that onyx completion your structures are the muse to my words even before I knew them to be caught up in my world but, I never quite realized until now.  

You truly are a man, my own modern day David from the famous Michelangelo. Each feature chiseled and crafted with marble so clear and perfect, smooth just as his creator made him to be— just as you are to me.

Your gaze strong. Strong enough to move many mountains. Your smile is like a calming wave crashing—I took in pure admiration and complete captivation, it plays over and over in my mind like the  beautiful rumblings of thunder on a cozy rainy day. Much how I write this piece about you effortlessly while the rain hits the glass of my window just as fast as my heart races at just the mere thought of you.

It reminds me of the first time my name escaped those plump cloud spiraling infused lips, so soft. My name sounded like butter melting on freshly warm toast and to some that may not make much scenes and I would never expect it too because only I can understand how much of an honor it felt hearing it come from you.

But still just taking in your physical is a treat, beyond me why I’d long for more. It’s kinda like the feeling you get on a summer evening just before night. The sky looks all peachy mixed with pink, purple and blue— it could easily be mistaken for a bruise. The wind is lightly grazing your cheeks and you feel that sudden emotion of euphoria...

WordsFromTheSoul// you remind me of summer or something just as perfect.

Loneliness is like a knife to the gut. That’s what I believe took over Juliette’s thoughts when she lost Romeo. Loneliness feels like a winter up north, like walking through the streets with no coat. Numb is the emotion that is feeling— that feeling that makes you feel everything at once.

All the parties you skipped out on, all the numbers you’ve tossed, all the bridges you burned for not admitting you were the one who was wrong. Loneliness is exactly what it is— to be by ones self. Yet, my favorite morning thought or right before bed slumbers are.. Does one who is by their lonesome truly lonely?..

I felt lonely. I felt like I was going utterly insane counting the cracks and paint bubbles on the ceilings. I felt like a warm beer shaken up— at the slightest touch I’d be sure to explode. My loneliness like a needle in the haystack of my mind, if I don’t stop now I’ll end up losing my head.

Some thoughts // WordsFromTheSoul
CautiousRain Jun 14
I don't make art anymore.
It's so tedious and eats up a part of me
that I can barely hold up.

I'd rather just be a resting body,
but that route seems to cause just the same

Tired, irritable; I want to do as much
as I do not,
and I feel like all my time goes to waste.

My reflection isn't me;
I feel like I am five
years younger than I am.
My art is fueled by the discordance
which makes it so hard to make or write.

I fluctuate:
okay to awful,
to make to give up,
I'm me, who is she?
I don't make art anymore.
haven't posted in 6mo, who the heck am I now
trying to get my **** back together, this isn't the end
CautiousRain Dec 2019
There I was.
You remember, don't you?

Me; nuzzled into the crook of your neck,
my hands gripping at your shirt...
you fancied it, you know.

The embrace was warm,
and our heartbeats may have synchronized
in hopes of lulling us to sleep.

You remember all of this,
I'm certain,
but there are some things
you don't.

At approximately five or so minutes
before I buried my swollen, dark, brown eyes
into your chest,
I was choking back tears.

Every time I hugged you,
it dulled my depression just enough
for me to pretend my heart
didn't live like someone was having
a boxing match with both atriums and the aorta;
no, it was a searing pain that dulled
in moments like these,
replaced with a suffocating tension.

I knew as soon as I left you,
I would be shaking,
on the ground in panic
or digging my nails into the utmost layers
of my body;
you didn't know that this moment we shared
was more about me
masking how much pain I regularly endured,
and about using you to soothe my psyche enough
to pretend I was alright.
when you dream of painful things, you must write, write, write!
CautiousRain Dec 2019
Maybe we all self-medicate,
and all of this wine
and all of my words
are my best way of doing so.
draft from october 26th; I might as well publish something, eh? not even going to change the title because I like it the way it is
CautiousRain Oct 2019
These puppet string are held by me,
I’d say I’ve lost my grip,
this autopilot hand-fidget has really gone to ****.

I don’t feel the same anymore,
nothing bubbles in my chest,
but who’s to say I cannot feel
if its only feeling is in my head?

Hello, how are you?
I’m doing simple math,
The strings aren’t taut and funny how
every movement is an act.

The doll’s alive, and she does dance
but watch at your discretion,
because if you knew her once before
she isn’t the same person.
apparently last time I tried posting this it glitched out somehow
oof, no more posting on the phone, eh?
CautiousRain Oct 2019
three in a row,
he swings hard,
alarm bells go,
a knife and knife
a circular ring
who's got the guts
to come clean?

Slurry of blows,
slurry of speech,
maybe there's more
to being a leech,
a man made of pride
a man made of sorrow
what's a man to do
when he can no longer borrow?
Time for some rhymes. What happens when you're stuck in a situation that forces you to get in even more trouble?
CautiousRain Sep 2019
Cold as ice and cold as sin
a man that lost shouldn't've been
but he played his cards
and he played them right
cause nothing touches a man
cold as ice.
Rambles and rhyming
As ya do
CautiousRain Sep 2019
Every time I think of you
I imagine myself transported
to this notion we had of ourselves
together in the woods,
but somehow alone,
and I'd kiss your lips every morning
but it'd be bittersweet,
and I loved bitter so much at the time
that I'd melt anyway
and somehow in the woods,
in this tiny cabin,
you'd be able to hide from all your sins
and maybe you could protect me
from the bears
from the harsh weather
and from you.
my draft folder is so clogged rn
also this is a sad boi hour poem but uhhh good morning anyway
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