My love fills the vacuum of space
It melts the ice caps in the north
Reaches to the center of the earth
Stretches from sea to sea
Yet my love still can’t seem
To find you

My love screams above the thunder
It sings softer than a lark
Turns lava into rock
Fills the stars with light
Yet my love still can’t seem
To reach you

My love grows roses in the sand
It turns shadows into sunlight
Makes salt taste like sugar
Takes strolls across the universe
Yet my love still can’t seem
To touch you

I can feel your eyes as they bare into my back
I know you are looking without checking
And without thinking I know I'm looking too

I catch you sometimes in reflections
The whiteboard, my laptop screen, the window
I'm not a fool, you can't hide from me

And I suppose neither I from you

How someone can just walk out of your life so fast
Is insane to me
One day you can be all thats on their mind
The next you're nothing
Just a ghost

The in between of a feeling and a fading memory

She has the kind of smile that lights up battlefields and stops time

Everytime I try to find myself
I get lost inside of you
I've become a needle in a haystack
Except I'm the only one who knows I'm missing

Its not the words we say,
Nor is it the words we write
That tear our heartstrings,
That make us ache

Its the order they appear,
The time it takes them to disappear
From our minds,
From our lives

'I will never love her the way I love you'
Contains the same words it takes to become
'I will never love you the way I love her'

The same words,
The same definitions
In different positions,
With different intentions

In your arms I long to stay forever
Because when you take my hand in yours
I become someone better

In your mind I stay and linger
Because when I look at you
Your heart skips a little

Within this lifetime we become immortal
Because when we are together
Time is just four letters strung together

I am relinquishing my fears today
No longer shall I be too afraid to be who I am
I am not ashamed of my faith
I shouldn't hide behind a decade of prosecution
We've moved past the burnings and the witch hunts
Let them come at me with their torches and pitchforks

It isn't my gods and goddesses who seeks the path of destruction

You don't know the depth of your hatred for someone
Until you dream of watching their demise
It is hatred if you enjoy it
It is a lie you tell yourself if you mourn it

I turn 18 in a month
I hear people say they feel the same
As if there wasn't a shift
But I can feel and see the shift
I am no longer a shy little girl
I am becoming a confident woman
No longer caged by my insecurities
I have spent up till now transforming
I have learned the weight of responsibility
The responsibilities of truths, lies, and secrets
The difference between consequences
for now and for the future

No, I don't feel like a child anymore
I don't yet feel like an adult,
but I feel like this is my first step
into real life

One day this world will shake and fall apart
All the volcanoes will eurupt
The waterfalls will flow backwards
All the flowers will wither and die
Ashamed of their petals
Out of jealousy everything will combust
Until all thats left is you and I

For nothing in this world holds a feather to you

I bought sunflower seeds and planted them in a little *** on my window sill
I watered and tended to the leaves everyday
Every time the leaves seemed sick or browning
I had to hold back tears as I cut away the rot
Is it weak or dumb of me that I cried?
Like witchcraft I cared for that flower as if it were our love
As the leaves would rot so too did our hearts
As the petals fell so too did your love for me
And in every falling petal
Every cut leaf
Every inch of that flower
I felt you grow farther and farther out of reach from me

In the radiant sun I am exposed to all
In the sunlights embrace I become vulnerable
At night I am protected by all the stars
Veiled under starlight I become something new

Insecurity is brushed away
Pulled back into the shores of my ocean of emotions
A wave of confidence crashes against
And floods my world of anxiety

Under the starlight I transform
I am no longer coward to the eyes of others
I am simply me
A girl surrounded in stars

I love to dance, I love this routine
But her eyes bore into me and I felt like a machine
My parts and gears were aching, turned into the color of rust
I felt ready to combust
I love to dance, I love this routine
But she's made me in to something that isn't quite me
Suddenly I can't recall the once familiar choreography

Her wicked smile bends me and I crumble under the pressure

Everyone has a fear of dying
But being in love
Is able to give you a fear far greater
It outweighs death and gives a bigger threat
The fear of losing love

You were born with wings
Not to live life in a cage
But to fly, to soar

Pride should not be painted over
With a thick layer of jealousy
I am proud of you

That is my final coating

Trust that we always tell and seek the truth
Despite the glint in our eyes
The biting of our lips
Trust that honesty comes first
Trust that fear will be overpowered by strength
Even if it seems that Light always carries
Shadow as if it’s chained to it’s ankle

Believe that a perpetual smile will perforate
All the lies,
All the fear,
And all the tenebrosity

That it will pull you out of your deepest sorrows
Despite all the betrayal and aspersion
We must remember that although
Every light is burdened with shadow,
Every shadow is burdened with light

She's shattered into a million fractal pieces
This woman made into a mosaic
This goddess, this queen
The one with the golden heart that turns others green

It breaks me too when I find
That I can't replace all the missing pieces
And put this ethereal beauty back together
Not back to the state she was before she was fractured

The sun, the moon
The stars, the sky
The dusk, the dawn

She is everything in life that is right
A beauty gift wrapped in insecutity
How many different ways can you tell her she's perfect,
Before she finally looks in the mirror and believes it?

She believes that life is only work, anger, and hatred
She believes a man can only lie, harm, and detonate
She doesn't see life for the spectrum it is
Full of a million gradients coveting all the glory

Some days she believes it
She tells herself and everyone around her
She is confident and beautiful, capable of love and happiness
Until the next day comes and once again she's in pieces

I'd like to see the day a smile is on her face
Not drawn or molded
Like magic it appears and never fades
The day the beautiful mosaic is once again

Complete

To my moon-kissed brothers and sisters
Hold yourself high with confidence
We are the strongest force known to mankind
For we've walked through fires just to be heard
We've raced through shadows and sung under stars
So we could be free

Come dance with me under the moon
As we manifest our dreams
Our intentions true
Our spells be carried through
If it is our will, so mote it be

And when their flames embrace our bones
as they vilify our souls and condemn our bodies,
we will hum our songs of virtue and light
for we walk the path of honest faith with no room for doubt

As they light us up like fireflies upon their pyres,
Let us smile to our Lord and Lady, our Gods and Goddesses
We will show no fear as they stare holes into our hearts
for we have magic in our blood and mystery in our eyes
We who dance with demons and fancy the fae
Spare no time to those with ill intent and hateful minds

With no fear or worry we are the awakened ones
aware to the world beyond and within our own
We stand hand in hand with mother nature, with Lady Gaia herself
With glory we travel to Valhalla, the Elysian Plains and the Fields of Aaru

They can light their fires to satisfy their hunger for our blood
But brave children of the moon,
they can never have our valiant courage nor our souls
they can never taste our magic or see the astral
because we allow ourselves to soar above what can be seen
above what we are told is intangible
We climb the towers of our minds
and rise to our higher selves

We chant our songs like sirens blessed by Apollo
We won't bend or break because they call us sinners
Sinners in who's eyes? I refuse to kneel to a bloodied faith
We will not shatter with their looks of disgust
We will not crumble under their evil eye
We will kiss the hands of fate and spit in their naïve eyes

We are the blessed ones who tower above the wicked
For we are the sons and daughters of the witches they could not bind or banish
We are the children of the moon who bow to none
We are the ones who will rise like a phoenix from their fires
For we are the witches who refuse to burn

I thought that you'd teach me how to love
Instead I learned how to fall out of it

I was a natural disaster
A hurricane
Volcanic eruption
A tornado
And you were pulled in

You should yell at me
Scream
Call me names
Tell me all the reasons you hate me
And I'll still love you anyway

It's karma,
I want forgiveness
And I don't deserve it

Poets are addicts
Haikus are our gateway drugs
Words are our vices

Without them, we shake
Writer's block, our withdrawal
Our pens— the needle

I think I'm always stressed out
Because my mind is always a mess
I must have OCD for my thoughts
It makes me
u    
           n
c
     o   m
F    
        o
                      r
T           a
     b                l
              E
So I make lists of what must be done
What I want to do, what I'm going to do
And many more lists
To organize my thoughts, just a little bit

He thinks that his withdrawal
Will soften the blow
That his absence
Will numb me like anesthetics
But he doesn't realize
That even if
He's killing me slowly
I'm still bleeding all the same
That even if
I'm suffocated blind
I'm still going to gasp for air

I am tired of the dishonesty in the blue
The tiredness in the grey
The snobbishness in the green
Disinterest and false warmth of brown
Distracted hazel eyes

I want eyes like rainbows
To carry me away

There were parts of you I didn't like
So sometimes I pretended they weren't there
I made believe there were parts of you I couldn't live without
But one day I was looking for those parts of you
And all I saw were the parts I couldn't stand
Slowly I began to realise that you were only full of make-believe
Those parts I loved
Were never real
Neither was our love

You can't love what isn't there

If I ever get that call
It will be the day
I buy a my first
Pack of cigarettes
And I'll smoke them
One by one
Until my lungs
Are black and numb

Life is full of a thousand varying scales
Love and Hate
Anger and Joy
Happiness and Sadness
There must be balance to keep the peace

For some reason however,
One of your scales seem to be offset
Love is outweighing hate by far too much
It’s taking a toll on your soul
You’ve become tired and insecure
From all your love overflowing from your scale
As it floods onto those who are heavy with hate

It’s okay to be angry and unforgiving
It’s okay to be sad and admit hatred
They come on par with healing
For without being able to know these feelings
You will drown in the in between
You are far too wonderful to sink below the pressure

Spare your scales and be honest with your heart
If you weren’t meant to feel both the heaviness and lightness
You wouldn’t have had a heart
Feel the anger, hatred, and sadness
So that you may receive the love, happiness, and joy
Without the consequence of an unbalanced scale

You don't fall for an angel and wonder why they fly away
You can't fall for a demon and question why they put you through hell

I don’t believe in her
But how else could I explain
What phenomenon it was
That drew us to the same place
The same time
The same moment
How could I formulate an answer
To define the reason why
Our eyes fit so perfectly
In the same gaze
And why our minds
Seem to mold
Together into one
Single entity?

Was it luck or happenstance
That crossed our paths
And joined our lives?

I feel mute sometimes
I've gone days, even weeks without saying a word
It never used to bother me
Being left alone to observe others
But I'm tired of living as a spectator
It feels like I was casted as an extra for my own life
I know that it's not right
But what can I do
As I stand alone outside this snow globe world
I wish I could pick up a hammer
Shatter the barrier
But I know I could never do it

I'd feel pity for the broken glass

Some days are ephemeral
A short but sweet memory

Some are longer days
That carry me far away
And I simply drift

The days that are the longest
Are the ones that take me farthest

And I simply drift
Into the abyss of time
Chasms of nothing

The void of desolation
A veil torn to shreds by light

Till I find the path
That leads me back to myself
I will simply drift

Abusing his kindness
Is like giving a child a kite
Then cutting the string

If he were the sun
I'd gladly embrace him
Even if it meant I'd burn

If he were an endless ocean
I'd swim until I drowned
Just to be with him

And if he were the sky
I'd live my entire life learning how to fly
Just to reach him

Even if he doesn't feel the same
I'd still give him room to say
I don't love you that way

And it'll tear me apart
He'll forget it by the morning
It won't mean a thing to him

And if he were to fall in love
It would break my heart
I'd let go for him

But even if it breaks my heart
I knew it from the start
I'd still do anything for him

If he were heaven
I would change my religion
I'd pray to God to let me in

If he were hell
I would devastate the world
I'd suffer in eternity for him

And if he were an angel
I'd be his devil
So I could sin for him

If he were a desert
I'd wander endlessly
Just to find him

If he were a forest
I'd climb every tree
Just to see him

I'd do anything for him
But what I'd do for him,
Would he do for me?

Sometimes I get carried away, I turn a few lines into a few stanzas
All that carry the same thought wrapped in different metaphors
Those are my writings that get left behind in the dust

I often forget that my words can stretch around the world five times
Then wrap again back to the axis and far too long to comprehend
They get overshadowed by these shorter laps around the globe

They sink into the far depths of the ocean into the uncharted abyss
They wrap around each other like lace and take breath out from every drowned out idea that I cast into the unforgiving sea

Perhaps this is why they get left unread like unraveled thread that longs to be intertwined within a masterpiece to be marveled upon by the masses and-

I'm doing it again aren't I?

I don't want a boy to be my Prince
I want a man who will be my King
So I don't have to act like a Princess
And I can become his Queen

When plucking the petals from a flower
I don't ask if I am loved or not
I ask whether or not it is worth it
Even if the love goes nowhere
Even if it doesn't stretch
From where the sea begins
To where they sky ends
There is still the experience
There are still
Lessons to be learned
And if heartbreak is one of them
Then so be it

Aren't we all like Perseus?
Looking for what we can conquer
For what will give us glory
And immediate satisfaction?

Looking for what we selfishly require to soothe our sinful palate
Rather than see the thievery, debauchery, infidelity and calamity
That we leave on our path to that beautiful glory

We keep our eyes fixated on the prize

Pretend that we didn't hesitate
When we pilvaged the sanctuaries
Behind the eyes of the innocent
For just one more
Unsentimental mug raised in our name
A mug haunted by the eyes
Of the lives we stole in glories name
And tainted by the shame inside our hearts

Pretend that it meant nothing to us
That we didn't stay up in vigile the whole night
While guilt and remorse swallowed us whole
That we didn't bury our armor and burn our honor

Or worse; pretend that we did

Spend the day twisting the knife
Through the knees of the kind
Laughing as the crowd cheers
Only to forget the next day
What it all was for

I suppose that's what makes us human
Desire
Selfishness
Hesitation
Remorse

I thought I stopped feeling
Really, I just started healing

If you could see him through my eyes
You'd think he's wonderful too
If you could feel through my heart
You'd fall for him just as deeply

But keep your narrow minds
Your selfish expectations
All your rotten, hollow words
Far away from him

Simply because you can't see his worth
Doesn't mean he isn't worthy

Moth or butterfly?
It isn't the caterpillar that decides

I don't have butterflies in my stomach
They are more like moths
Eating me alive from within

I kind of like the way they tickle

Have you ever loved something so much
That you would do any task
Give up any possession
To chase what no one else could see?

In your heart
Have you ever held something so precious
That you would teach a fish to fly
Just to keep it within your grasp?

In my life I accomplished everything I was told I couldn't
I put myself below no one, I refused to face any discrimination
Because with my art I could make the invisible seen to all
I could change emptiness into brilliance
And I could capture an ephemeral moment and make it immortal

I was told countless times to give up for I was destined to fail
But I'd rather have tried and failed
Than live my life regretting that I never did
I am no coward, my paintbrush is my sword
And my canvas is my battlefield

For my art I would turn nothingness into magic
Because with my art I could make magic tangible

Come here
Taint me with all
Of the empty promises
You keep stored within
Your eyes
Your heart
And behind
Your lips

Come here
Tell me something that
I may not know
About myself
Because clearly you know me
Better than I do
My fears
My passions
My hopes
And my regrets

Go ahead
Fill my head
With dreams
That you say we
Could share
That we
Could hold
Within a gentle grasp

Go ahead
Crush those dreams
Within your
Deadly clasp
Destroy the
Beauty
That we hoped
Could one day be
The glue
That would hold
Us together

No matter how many times you give your heart to someone or tell them that it's theirs, if they say their heart is someone else's you can never get your heart back quite the way it was.

Her eyes saw only eternal springs in every sight
Her heart knew only compassion and nurturing
She had so much left inside of her to give
She gave it all to the man who had nothing left in him
He was lonely, castaway, feared, despised and hated
But Persephone had patience
She had a heart larger than the Underworld
Deeper than the river of Styx
And brighter than Mount Olympus
Her love was quicksand
And it swallowed him whole
One smile at a time
A woman so kind
Taken from home
Taken from familiarity
From a life of flowers and sunlight
Condemned to afterlife with a beating heart
She saw beyond herself, beyond her own situation
She filled the Underworld with color and warmth
Just as she did with it's ruler, one smile at a time