I'll remember you any day
Even when you're far away
I'll remember you

I hear the roaring of the brook
so wild, untamed and free.
It’s just… Beautiful.
Catching everything that comes its way.
And I see my reflection smile back at me.
The world as I know it has changed.
Everything is different now.
Everything has been rearranged.
All the lights have gone quiet on the stage.
All the sounds are gone.
Silent.
All the people, at home.
It’s so quiet.
Will it be this way forever?
Has it changed?
Will it ever go back to how it was?

Can I offer you a drink
What'll it cost me
How bout a thought to think
What if it's lost on me

What do you want to do tonight?
I see myself in a bathrobe
With a tall glass of wine
And whiskey til the daylight

Aye well let me tell you here
Bout a man to me so dear
When ever after seemed
Like it was simply meant to be

I wish I was a maiden fair
But eyes did stray to blonder hair
So secrets in the dark did keep
And my devotions left to weep

Bowing low before the throne
And pleading never to have known
The last of men to which I bowed
Before I left the solid ground

Now I sail the ocean blue
And the only men here are my crew
So pop the cork and drink away
The sea is where I'll always stay

Now tyrant monarchs may rule the lands
But they cannot stop our merry band
So call us scoundrels and call us thieves
We live on the water and sing to the breeze

So if you are lost, listen to our sound
The wind on the water tells ya you've been found
The compass will guide us so hoist up the sail
The Last Chance is our vessel for which we prevail

Hello. It's nice to meet you.
My name is Anemone. What's yours?
Cool, do you want to play?

Hey, I've really missed you.
You aren't returning my calls,
Is everything okay?

Hey, it feels like it's been ages,
What's going on,
Where have you been?
Oh, that's sad, I'm so sorry,
Do you want a hug,
Come on bring it in!

Uh hey, I know you said you're busy
Just wanted to ask.... anyway,
You know my parents don't believe you
When you flake on me every day

But its fine,
I know you're busy
And I know what you're going through
Just promise me you'll remember
I'm always here for you

Hey, maybe we could do something this weekend,
No, you're right that's true
But my schedule is wide open
I don't have anyone but you

All people are selfish.
Not all people have empathy.
A waltz or ballet dances in my head.
Am I doomed to hear them on repeat until the day I’m dead?

Why can I never write?
Tripping over my words like rope left out at sea.
Now look at that, I've lost all hope of writing an analogy.
Then a rhyme, a spark of joy.
Maybe this could be a song worthy of others to see.

There’s never quiet,
always sound,
never focused,
it's just too loud.

Words used to be my escape but now I can't even write.
I design fantasy worlds where I can fight my inner demons,
the ones that crawl around at night,
as foxtrots in the background are played in delight.

So I'm sitting in a back room, cringing at the slightest sound.
Reusing old lines from old poems and songs.
Things I can't finish,
things I can't start,
and things that hurt my broken heart.
Thoughts that seem stupid but won’t go away,
moments in the moonlight that aren't here to stay.

I'm so tired and yet I've gotten enough sleep
I guess I'm just tired of promises to keep.

There's so much to do
Much I wish that I did
Someone needs to remind me
I'm still just a kid.

Can I have another childhood, can I take it all back?
Would I take back the painful years of torment, of lying and shame?
Would I take back the tears that I have cried?
No. I’d never take back those tears, for they are my story.

There.

Have I done it?

Have I written enough?

I'm tired, so tired, I can't see it through.

Distractions, distractions, they hold me inside.
Inside the dark corners that make up my mind.
So many things dwell inside of my head.
It’s hurting, It’s hurting, make it stop, the little boy said.

Take another step, I know that you can.

This is but a simple night,
Not unlike any other,
But the lonely figure in the garden
Meets the face of yet another

I become the face I see on the other side of the mirror,
The outside observer, the heinous sight,
Shifting ever slightly still,
So the glass might catch the light.

For it may be the sunny day,
Or the calm and peaceful night,
Yet still, you’ll see the small figure in the garden,
Smiling with delight.

If I  die give 'em all a sight
show 'em all the stories that I never got to write
put me on the stage and for the first in a very long time
let them hear me sing, let them see me shine

sight-reading
that's all we can do
never hearing the melody
but still singing it through

focus on the details
focus on the song
and piece by piece like a puzzle
someday you'll belong

Lumber arches guide me through
Wooden doorways old and new
So much to see in this world of fantasy
Come with me

The fire calls
And the tide rises
And there is but a song
As the world reprises

The ground below us quakes
And the wind roars above us
And there is but a song
As the world begins its chorus

The light shines down
On the darks great curse
And there is but a song
As the world starts another verse

When will we reach a day when we can rise above the hate?
Will we reach that day or is it already too late?
When we will just raise our arms and proclaim,
Enough?

If the right to bear arms is more important than the right to live,
why don't the children say,
Enough?

If the cage we put ourselves in is built on lies,
when do the people say,
Enough?

When in their dying breath, as the bullet reaches the end
and brings only the sweet embrace of death,
when do we let the children stop and raise the arms,
stand together and say
at last,
Enough?

When do we say no more?
When do we stop having to cry over the body of a kindergartener clutching their backpack tight?
When do we have to stop sending a child to a place to learn and tell them what to do if there is a gun or a fight?
When do we have to stop wondering whether today as a parent you say to your child your last I Love You and Goodbye.
When do we say we will not just lay down and die?

When do we say,
Enough.

Father, do you remember what flowers smelled like?
Do you remember the ocean's calm waves?
Father, what was it like to run in the sunlight?
Or to play outside all day?

Father, do you remember what trees looked like
before they all went away?
Father, what was it like to breathe clean air
when you walked to school each day?

Father, why do you cry?
Is it because you can't see the sky?
Father, what did the world use to be?
What was the world like when it was happy?

Father, where are all the kids like me?

What is a dog?
What is a cat?
What is a bird?
Do you remember that?

What is a dream?
Did you ever have one?
Is it something you buy, like air?
Is it something you hold, and care?

Father, do you remember when people used to care?
Father, do you remember that?

I feel as if I will never write again.
I feel the doubt and fear,
paralyzing me until I don’t know what to say or hear.
They hate me, don’t they?
I fear their eyes,
their words,
their tears.

But I cannot speak.

I listen for the footsteps.
Where are they now?
Lighter footsteps slamming the door until I cannot hear them anymore.
Heavy footsteps have gone as well, the door is opened.
There they are.
I feel small,
so small
and little.

The word regression comes to mind.
They are coming closer, switch the tab, and hope that they are blind.

Questions are like landmines, and each one is smaller, still, no matter the size of the landmine, whether you try to confront or evade, they all are set to ****.

I don’t know if I can do this, be anyone I want to be.
Will I be a starving artist and a disappointment to my family?

My name is Fear, I do not grow, I am small in every way.
My impact is big, my job so large, and yet small in stature is how I stay.

Am I Fear, or am I something hidden far below?
If I am Fear, then tell me please why does my power grow?

As soon as I speak I forget the words, the problems, and questions as well.
There are so many things I yearn to learn, so eager to tell.

Growing up is stupid, and you can’t disagree;
so many things have gotten harder with age for me.

Don’t go outside,
don’t say a word,
don’t stay on the path,
don’t be deterred.

Don’t sing,
don’t write,
don’t flirt,
don’t fight.

These are simple things to ask of you.

Don’t listen,
don’t hear,
don’t have courage,
don’t fear.

These are what you know, and simple things to do.
Impossible standards are easy, the simple tasks are hard.
Is it one voice now, or many?
Are you always on your guard?

Listen, See, Do, Be.
These are simple, don’t you see?
Doubt is here, or is it fear?
Or maybe someone new?
All of these thoughts are yours my dear, so what does that mean for you?

the flame devours all
watch it burn
watch yule logs in the winter
curl up to fireplaces for warmth
we toast marshmallows and make smores
fire is bright, peaceful, beautiful
deadly
spreads and kills in seconds
almost impossible to stop
fighting the fire for so long
stop and watch
the flame devours all
it's your turn

Snap

There goes the branch
There it goes
The branch of a tree that no longer grows
It longer grows

Everything is dying
One step behind
Is this the landscape
that echoes in their minds?

Ice melting over
All of the lands
Look around you as deserts are only sands

The leaves may crunch beneath your feet
The wind may blow you away
The birds shriek instead of cheep
To even make a sound

And I am stuck here in the forest all around
Water meets fire meets ground meets grass
Something meets lifetimes
Something takes a chance

And something whispers, whispers all around
And something whispers and never makes a sound
Somewhere the silence and the sunlight will combine
And here I'll be just me, alone in this land of mine

With green grass
And blue sky
Under yellow sun
As the birds shaped like w’s fly so high

It's all just a fairytale
A child’s painting brought to life
But it’s all just a fairytale
A world without pain or strife

A house with four windows
A door with a circle for a ****
Doesn’t it make your eyes water?
Doesn’t it make you cry and sob?

For what is a mother without a child?
What is a father without a small hand to hold tight?
What is a music box without a lullaby?
What is a bedtime story without a goodnight?

A tomb devoid of joy
The music box starts to play
There is no one left here
A child was lost that day

He promised so little and yet gave even less.
He took all that she had to offer and then left her in her tattered dress.
She used to love her dresses and how they’d swish and twirl
She made a vow to never wear the remains of that precious little girl.

She ran away into the night and vanished into the air
She learned that cooking skills provide the mighty frying pan
She learned to tear the trousers she wore before anyone got the chance
She learned to get away with crimes against the stupid men

Burn the frills away

Curtains may fall
And people may go
But the ghost light’s
All I know

People may shout
And prance around the stage
But the ghost light
Will never age

See them laugh
see them cry
And get more for the encore
When next they arrive

See them live
See them die
And get scored for the next chord
When next they survive

I watch over their theatre with pride
But don't think for a minute that I’m on their side

Why do they call me a ghost?
When I am surely alive
Don't tell me I'm wrong
Surely I survive

When singers are done with their long songs
When dancers will find no more dances, they're wrong
And I will stand here in the dark all alone
In this theatre, I call my home

So I find I'm more than this
More than your people have taught me to be
If you fear a shadow behind you
That of course
Is me

there is a girl in a garden
who sits under a dying tree
sometimes I look out the window
and she waves or smiles at me

frost paints over the window
cobwebs fill the room
and still the girl in the garden
sweeps away the gloom

I've never spoken to the girl in the garden
I couldn't if I tried
but her smile is a sight to see
even if she's long since died

there's a girl in your class named heather
do you know her?

no, not very well

why not?

well you see with a name like heather
there isn't much really to tell

she sits up straight in her chair each morning
she never slouches at all
and that's the thing about heather
there's nothing special about her at all

and don't we all know a heather?
picking grass quietly on the lawn
that's thing about heather
you never notice her until she's gone

He is the end of her.
He is her friend!
What friend lies?
All of them?
Some of them?
None of them?

She is a punching bag?
She is not.
She does not know.

But now?

Now I look back.
And I see the light.
I see the light, and I know the truth.
But I will never know one thing.

Why?

No matter.
I am here, I am now.
I am not happy, but I am not sad.
I am here. I am now.

And that’s what matters.

I am not a figment of your imagination
I am just a dream to you
One you can cast aside
One you can leave behind
One you can ignore
One you can ignore

I am just a casualty
In this hollow game
That you’ve created for me
There are no holes for trying hard to fit through
In this child’s matching game of patterns, shapes and colors too
I know everything
I see all
But you still don’t believe in me
As long as you have me at your beck and call
Who am I to be
Where are the people like me
Trying, trying to be
The savior
Not the demon
You all thought and planned for me to be

That’s what I’m trying to be

Embers cold and firey eyes
Upon the wood and sand
Devours anything that seems fit to be weaker
At a glance

Because I am the fire
Burning bright
The fire
burning higher than ever before
I am the fire

Embers burn to a crisp
And leave a mark when they are done
Don’t think I am not strong

I miss my theater
I miss the lights
I'm finding I even miss
The many sleepless nights

Cause now I lie awake
My head so filled with song
I'm finding that without you
The world just feels so wrong

I miss the chaos
I miss my crew
I miss every little thing
That I used to do

I cannot reschedule
The last curtain call
I cannot imagine
A year without you all

I'm crying, I'm trying
The tears, they never fall
I cannot imagine
A year without you all

I will spend a lifetime
Just walking around
Never letting my feet
touch the ground

Once firmly placed here
Now I can fly
Would you ever go back
Why

Like a soul tortured by desire
Like a bird soaring ever higher
Every mile I fly
I take to the sky
Every second
Makes me want to cry

That I could possibly know this feeling
Know this joy I feel
That I could possibly have the feeling
Knowing what this feels like to me

So like a soul possessed
Like a heart beating
I will forever know
My love will only grow
My love
To fly
My love for the sky
My love for the sky

A soul unhinged
A life to live
And all of it fades away
Today

With the sky
With the clouds
With the beautiful sounds
That I hear all around me and I see

The smiles and laughter
And sometimes small disasters
And I know it's up there for me
I know there’s so much to see

And all my life
I've waited to be
Someone who flies
Someone who spends their life in the skies

So here I am
And here I'll stay
This is the way I will feel forever

Finally up
Up there in the sky
In the sky
I fly

I live in a time when we hide our faces
I live in a time when we still fight for equal rights for all races
I live in a time when school shootings are the norm
I live in a time when history is taking another new form

I live in a generation who jokes about death
I live in a generation who laugh and cry in a single shaky breath
I live in a generation who don’t believe the truth
I live in a generation who never had a happy youth

I live in a world while I scream and shout
I live in a world while no one lets me out
I live in a world while I am trying to cope
I live in a world while I cling to hope

I live in a place where school children are waiting to die
I live in a place where boys are told that “real men don’t cry”
I live in a place where dreams are killed
I live in a place where a higher death count means our leaders are skilled

Still, I live
In this place,
In this time,
And I will survive.

I live in a house
I live in a home
I live in a body I can call my own

I live in a bubble I’m trying to pop
I live in a mind unwilling to stop
I live in a note, a powerful song
I live in a voice that is still singing strong

When news of the pandemic reached my high school, no one was thinking of the impact that year.
We all thought that the government would never close our schools.
They would leave us to die, and we would wait to be killed.
The first thought when we were told that school would not be the same was, well this just means I won’t die by a bullet while trying to pass geometry.
When did trying to survive high school become so literal?
I am terrified that I will never hug my friends again.
I am terrified that I have had my last moments in high school.
I wanted a graduation.
I wanted a prom.
I wanted to sing and perform.
I wanted to be somewhat happy.
I don’t know how to stop this pain in my chest, spreading more and more hurting me beyond anyone’s comprehension.
I am so alone, and yet I crave the quiet.
It’s too loud, but no one is singing.
I just want to have the memories that everyone has.
I just want to hug my best friend again.
I want to worry about college, not how and when, and where I will die.
I want to be a kid, for the next few months.
Because this is the last chance I’ll get.
And the end of my childhood will be marked by months of being alone and devastated.
I just want to be a kid while I still can.

I’m sorry

I’m sorry that I am a pain
I’m sorry that I walk in the rain
I’m sorry I act like a little kid
I am sorry for all I ever did

I’m sorry for all I feel
I’m sorry that I am real
I’m sorry for raising my hand
I’m sorry that I'm willing to stand

I’m sorry
Truly sorry
I hope you understand

I am invisible
I am asexual
I am an atheist
I bi-romantic

I'm only fifteen
So "I don't know what I mean"
I'm a feminist
I stand up and resist

And I’m sorry that I live

I was born into a world full of doubt and hate
I was born into a world where I was always too late
And every time my heart beats it breaks
Every time I force a smile it aches

I wear a mask made of paper mache
I know it sounds cliche
But that is simply just the way
That is simply my day by day

So I’m sorry
So sorry
What can I say?

I’m sorry
So sorry
But now what is the price you must pay?

So I’m sorry
I’m sorry that I don't have much to give
I’m sorry
So sorry

But even still I live.

Island
Safe and sound
On an Island
Water surrounds

Isolation
Yet people come
Never alone
Yet you feel like you’re the only one

Sometimes you need silence
To make the world around you disappear
Sometimes you need to grab a boat and flee to the Island
Run away and now there’s nothing to fear

The waves crash all around you
And on the Island, there is nothing you can’t do
So when you wake up in the morning
Away from your Island
Away from your peaceful home
When you wake up from your Island
And feel like you’re not alone
Cause you’re not alone

You can’t run
You can’t hide
You’ll have to come outside
eventually

Away from the Island and the sea
So wave goodbye
As the waves crash and leave you behind
Sail away
Even if only for today
Sail away

Come with the people
They're out there waiting for you at the dock and the pier
And suddenly
You leave the Island
And people are here

Who love you
And you have no need to disappear

You’ve left the Island and you are scared
But we are here for you
You’ve left the Island and you’re unprepared
But we’ll help you see it through
We’ll help you leave your Island behind

We’ll help you see it through

The friends who forget i exist
and leave me out
and leave me to die
why?

2. The people who pity
and don't care
whether i am even there
why?

3. The noises you think i cant hear
all of them spoken by those i thought i could hold dear

4. The tears i shed
when i come right home to bed
and cry
why?

5. The secrets you thought i was blind to

6. The girl you thought you knew

7. the flaky friend

8. The light at the end

9. Always running out of time

10. Writing again and again

11. The canceled plans

12. The helping hands

13. The stories that saved me
even if only for a bit

14. the song
or the lack of it

15. The voices in my head

16. Song and script until i'm dead

Fly away little seagull
You are lost in the storm
Fly away little seagull
You need to be safe and warm

Fly away little seagull
Smaller than all the rest
Fly away little seagull
Don't be afraid to seek out your mother's nest

She will welcome you
Take you beneath her wing
And though you never said you needed
There's a lullaby she will sing

Through the storm
She is the keepers light
Guiding you right home
Through the cold and endless night

Fly to her little seagull
Sing a song in return
Fly to her little seagull
For you still have much to learn

Life is hard little seagull
People can let you down
But you are a tough little seagull
And she taught you how to stand your ground

Soon the day will come
When you'll spread your little wings
And fly out of the warm nest
But you'll remember the songs she sings

And think of each time she held you
In the dark of night
Remember all the love she shared
And smile as you take flight

Once upon a nightmare
or maybe it was a dream
but I can safely tell you
everything's not as it seems

I've got secrets to tell
but I don't tell them to you
but now it's do or die
and that's the good and honest truth

once there was a girl, just a few years ago
lovesick, I confess
and you might think you know what happens now
but you could never guess

Do you know what it’s like,
to finally have your life the way you want it
just to have it torn from your fingers as you scream and cry for help?

What does my life matter to you?
Love, loss, it’s all part of life they say
Why am I in black and blue, red tainting my clothes?
Why can I not dwell in the yellow and light as she did?
Why did he stay in the dark, just as I have?
Can I leave the dark?

What am I supposed to say to his family?
What am I supposed to say to them all?
I can’t let go, and I can’t move on.
And neither should you.

So why do you?
Why do you bury him away and pretend that none of his faults existed?
The boy I knew wasn’t a saint!
Far from it!
He was a messed up, depressed, annoying little *******!
And he was my friend!
I can’t just say goodbye after that.

There’s a house
There's a lake
There's a field, a plow, and a rake

There are so many animals
They're my friends
There are people laughing
At every day's end

There are people dancing
There are so many songs
And there are so many wonders
I wonder if the world has seen them all

There are secrets and truth
And elders and youths
There are people, just people
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
It's a mess.

There are clocks
Ever reminders
Present no matter what we do to just ignore

There are so many little things
That life has in store
There are jump ropes
There are ties
There are sweets
There are swingsets and rhymes
There are games we play
So many games we play

And none of us know exactly why
There are books and paintings, and screens galore
There are lion and tigers
I hear them roar
There are children growing up

Guess I was one too
There are so many memories
Of you

There are so many memories
Of you

My lady, a song for the love that I feel,
With you holding my hand, it is suddenly so real
There isn’t a note to express or appeal
The love I share for you my lady
The love I share for you

If a witch casts a spell and sings you to sleep
There isn’t any reason for the kingdom to weep
They can try to hold you and yet nothing can keep
Keep me from saving you, my lady
Keep me from saving you

I was never dumb
just naive
to wear my emotions on my sleeve
to walk so free
without my barricades
surrounding me

there are many things that I wish
but the truth comes down to this

i am fine
i am alive
i will survive
not just that
i'll thrive

Sometimes i forget to eat,
And find that i prefer it
Sometimes i forget to drink
And find that the headaches are worth it
Sometimes i look in the mirror
And find someone i hate to see
Sometimes i think that she is pretty,
And then i see it's just ugly me
But i am not in danger
And i am not rib and bone
So i am not an issue
And i am not quite worthy of calls on the phone

I'm numb.
Numb.

A word Ending in mb
Such a strange combination
Occurring most memorably in dumb

Numb.

People are injected with novocaine to quell the pain in surgical operations
I don't need any kind of injection for my own physical protection
I already feel no pain
Yet they give it to me all the same

This is defense
This is to cope
This just makes sense
That's what I hope
A rush of emotion
Something I can feel
Is this temporary
Is this even real

When was the last time you actually ate
I don't know - I don't know what I put on my plate
Joy for a minute and then it's all gone
And they ask me what is it - what could possibly be wrong

I'm yearning
And learning
And
Not earning

Any of their respect
It's a multiple-choice test and no answers are correct

This is our song
This is our story in our hearts
Reaching out to kickstart
Some strong fire in our minds
We just gotta keep our souls and spirits alive

Keeping something from you
No longer
And I hear a song within our hearts
I know it might be simple
But it’s somewhere to start

Look beyond the horizon
Into your bright glowing eyes
See something, See a spark ignite
Into a burning fire

A burning fire

When we used to dance
Felt like a trance
Now our song is over
and so is the romance

I am words
I am notes
I am castles
I am moats
Who am I?
I can’t seem to die
There are parts of me
No one else can see
One for creativity
One for tragedy
One for the songs I sing
One for everything

I am not the darkness
I am not the light
I am not the daytime
I am not the night

I'm not happy
I'm not sad
I'm not joyful
I'm not glad

I'm not silent
I'm not sound
I am a circle
But I'm not round

I am fire, I am ice
I'm not mean, but I'm not nice

I have big shoes to fill
I'm trying hard to impress
All of you don't realize
You cause me stress

I work real hard and write it down,
all of my plans
but will I ever be happy
I don't know if I can

I'm writing letters and songs and scripts
I'm writing stories and jokes and quips
I've written so much in so little time
Am I running out of time?

Am I off-key, am I off-pitch
Is it my tone or is my diction missed?
Am I speaking, am I singing, I don't know
Where can I go?

Someday I hope you'll remember me
Someday I hope I will be part of your history
Am I an artist who's doomed to be
Never appreciated until she dies
Why?

I'm not a figment of your imagination
I think I could use a little appreciation
I want to help others like me
When I'm grown
If I'm grown
Who will I be?

I am drowning in letters and papers
all of my stories surround me
drowning in letters and papers
can I ever be happy?
drowning in letters and papers
drowning again
drowning in letters and papers
will I ever reach the end?

will you all remember me?
will I be worth anything to remember?
are you like the one I see
when I look in the mirror?
will you hate me?
will you not understand?
will you pity me before I take my stand?
just keep the pen in your hand
always keep that pen in your hand
you won't ever know what the universe has planned
so just keep that pen in your hand

I've forgotten how to speak
I've forgotten how to smile
But if I sit down and just think
Perhaps I'll remember for a while

I've lived a life by many names
By many faces, old, and new
I've seen my reflection fade to dust
And think, perhaps I can do that too

See my smile
Of course you do
I've made sure it looks convincing
But look deep into my eyes
And perhaps my mask is slipping

Have you ever looked at me
No, really, looked at me
What do you know, what do you see
Perhaps it is a truth, but candid is hard to be

I often think to myself
What would the doctors say,
If they could get a hold of me

That was a joke.
Funny, is it not?
Perhaps there may be more this than I had originally thought

You'll see that once words fly
All the mock birds in the sky
Will stop their petty lies

education
The High School for Crying
The College for Artists
who fear much more than dying

special skills
I can see things that are not there
I can take more than anyone can bear
I can work without lunch or dinner
I can let myself get thinner and thinner
I can suffer and still sing
I can be silent through almost everything

goals
I will write until I ache
I will sing until I break
I will give more than I take
I will make a mistake


wait


hold on

no, wait

please don't go

don't reject my resume

please no

The alarm shakes my bed
The memories pound in my head
Reaching blindly for my phone
Struck by the realization I am alone

Take a shower
Get ready, quick
Temperatures fluctuate
And I always feel sick

Frantically turning the monitor on
Just practice for my greatest long con
Lights are bright inside my mind
Leaving my dreams behind

Clock is ticking
Take my medicine with a drink
Sure it scares me to pretend
But it's important for those around me to think

Do I have time to eat today
What a silly question, I say
When you live in your daydreams
The real world is a nightmare

So stay away and leave me behind
The wind blows your sails
But you don't know what treasure I'll find
Cause I'll walk and I'll swim and I'll run to the ocean to find

You
Baby, it's true

The wind blows my sails
Faster and powerful than ever before
The gust fills the breeze and I'm back looking at the trees
And the land I once knew before

But know I've found you
In the breeze
A place I never thought I'd get to know
It's here a story so old
And a place so new in my heart
A place to start

The wind in my sails pulls me forward and I will not depart
Because I feel the breeze taking me where I don't know
I need to go
And I will find it
The sky above me
The waves the sails the sea
And I will find a place to call my own
A place on the sea
I'll find a place to call my home

I’m so scared
Am I sharing too much now
After years and years of silent doubts and fears
Am I a burden now
Could I take it back?
Now everyone knows that I’m a freak
Should I have stayed silent?
I was a fool to speak

I know others have it harder
I don’t pretend I have it worse
While for years and years my friends and peers
Have had fun and learned to talk
I buried my mind and heart so deep
That I don’t know where they are

Now I fear I’ve dug too deep
And I can’t find a way out
I’ve dug down until my fingers bled
And I sat in silence, thinking about
My stories and fantasy realms
Where are they, can I go there
Can I share a piece of me without being met with stares?

I’m choosing a career path that is destined to fail
Because I can’t even write down an idea in my mind
I feel so trapped inside this place, and I’m ready to bail
The world is going to end up gone before I get there

What can I do
I always somehow knew
But now when everyone wants to know
I have to say I don’t have a clue

People are horrid, and none of them deserve what they have
Do I deserve what I have
What do I have

Betrayal
Lies
Trust gone forever
Death
Bullying
And a bedrock tether

One by one they hurt me
Poison me with their lies
And now I cannot even trust
A single face, a disguise

Who am i
Am I talented
Not anymore
Am I confident
Not anymore
Am I empathetic
I wish I weren’t
Am I cursed
Maybe so

Am I a little coward who can’t face her problems
And needs to rely on meds
Am I worthy of a single minute with a single friend?
Keep your guard up
Don’t say a word
Maybe that will help
Maybe it will hurt you
But it won’t hurt anyone else

I have spent so many years like everyone else's therapist
and now I want to share
but I am so afraid of doing the same to them
I refuse to be a burden for them to bear

Shatter and fall
On the ground

Shatter and fall
Like a pane of glass
Dropped down on the floor
Ask me a question and I’ll have to think of it, once more

Who am I, watching the days go by?
Who am I, to say yes or no?
Who am I, to give in to all the pain and sorrow that befalls our doom?

I’m building the walls of my own tomb
Who am I, watching the days go by?
Like a pane of glass, I’m fragile
Agility has never been my strength
At least not when conversation arrives

I’ll just crawl up and hide
Take all my feelings inside
And
Shatter
   and fall
Shatter
and
fall
  Shatter
and
      fall
Shatter
       and
     fall

                                                      Fall

Look at me and here now
As I am here standing proud
Through the wind and the rain
though I cannot make a sound

Oh won’t you listen, please
I’ve got some things to say
But don't matter how loud I scream
You won’t give me time of day

And someday
Someday someday
Someday you will know
Somehow someway
Someday you will go away

And someday you listen
As the dewdrops glisten
In the morning sun
Someday before it's done

And someday I will know
And someday I will see
All of the answers
Were inside of me

Sometimes our memories haunt us
Sometimes we lie awake at night
Some of us are happy
Some of us know something’s not right