Lost  amongst familure strangers
Holding your foreign  curves
Like homeland  hills
Oceans have grown between us
But luckily i can swim
And i think i know the direction
Your in

Elation
Graduation
Ive succeeded
Ive defeated my demons
And summond the evils that pestered me
Just to **** in front  of them gleefully
Im animalistic im my celebrations
I think  i should plan a vaction
Im drunk  on the joy of succeeding
I've not just  bested my goals,
Ive superpassed them
And now ill end my day
With the widest grin

come on sweet heart
chin up, don't tear yourself apart,
stand tall,
even though your 5'6'
disregard that , wear your six inch heals and strut with  brutish animosity
your a lion whose collar brandishes six inch spikes facing inwards now take of your leather back straps and show them what you've been working on
let the sun glint of your scars and make dam sure they know  how you earnt them

*LG

warm heart,
once brave and strong
                      

                                                               ­                   now foreboding and weak

poor brave heart
the heart that once beat so strong



                                                       ­                            now bleats so meak


sorrowful little heart
to small to carry the load on your masters shoulders


                                                     ­                                   now a slave to insanity

irrefutably damaged heart
to weak to continue
to shallow to pump blood
to cold to warm my skin



  *poor little heart**
                                                           


                                             how long untill you stop beating

Y.. you want me?
All the little  broken  bits.  Youll take  them
For free?
Youll wrap my wounded heart in yours
Help close all those broken doors
Show me i can sail to such foreign  shores
Are you really what i need?

Dancing little firefly round and round and round you fly
up through the sky so high
so little fear and no reason to lie
dancing little firefly round and round and round you fly
drawn up to the stars so high,
not a single reason to cry
my dancling little firefly
no longer will i stand so high
no longer will the world spill lies
because i am here to sheild your eyes

Swing me to a lullaby
so  soft and soothing i wont wonder why
the world stings so much
and why everyone is in a rush

so swing me to  a lullaby
to cold and dark to work out why
i find myself in  a rush
i wonder when this will become too much


Swing me to a lullaby
so old and cold, and ive found out why
i was in  a rush
to end this life, its far to much

you dont understand
its not in your mind
ive picked my angle
I truely cant rewind
my past lives have died
along with my pride
to choose you
is to choose a side

and though you think i dance
with grass burning freely
i am not a man, not without you, clearly,

i have made my choice, i made it long ago
to dance with you free, in sun wind or snow

but  i will pay my price
and taking my feet bare, walking camly without a care
my life has never been easy, nor soft, nor breezy,
i have never needed or wanted,
but still i have tried,
to crutch my problems, with a joint at my side,
pull away my crutch, and trip me up ,
i will fall
but i wont give up
because the love you give me is like none ive seen before,
and tho i get tired, and riled , and sore,
I find my self falling so softly
needing more
dont go,
please dont
but my crutch will be gone soon,
and my ailments still their,
so please would you help me get from here
to there

Don't be afraid
the man says in tears

Its perfectly normal
the doctor winces

You'll feel better in no time
*the therapist smirks

tequila Sundays
***** Mondays
broke pub Tuesdays
and bottom barrel Wednesdays
pay day Bacardi Thursdays,
broke back corona Fridays
angry fix Saturdays
you think I'm dependent on you?
to that i grin
and open another bottle
*LG

Have you ever heard the rain,
Fall softly on a tin shed,
A thousand ball bearings tinkering softly above your head,

Have you ever felt  a mountains breath,
Bite at your fingers as you climb,
The dead stone calling you to fall,
But still you press ahead

Have you ever felt the sun
Scorch the earth, but not your flesh,
Where you bask for warmth,
Plants lie dead

Have you ever felt loves warm embrace
Raw and powerful,
Sweep itself  from your life
Tyranically, full of dread.

Have you ever found yourself  lost
Only to find yourself exactly where you
Need to be.

Your top lip is like the bottom
just upside down
But your heart is just like mine
only the other way around

I hope you know
Theres a Poloroid of you
On my wall.
4 years and 13 days to the date
You disappeared,
I loved you then
You danced across wood floors
Dropped jaws
You spun me up in your silk

You made me feel flawless from a hundred miles away
I wished I could spend every day with you
I still do

I don't know where you are now,
the world swallowed you whole
Im tired
And cold
And you  brought me warmth
I just wondered if you where wondering
That after all this time
If I still kept that Poloroid  of you
On my wall

I see beauty in every step I make,
this world has robbed us of the right,
to see with my own god given gift of sight.
no trust in my reality
only laugh at whats on the computer's screen,
I see beauty in every cobble, in every drunken wobble,
I watch the street lights glow pass through the trees that shelter below
I see the homemade art hanging on your mantle, through the window left ajar so that winters sounds may visit,
and I see the world spinning on its axis, the Pre-printed clouds scrolling past me like a news feed,

green grass and the smell of mud,  the wind disturbs trees that shed leaves as if they where a grand lady, shedding tears to some offensive gesture

the beauty in life is not in screens,
the beauty does not hide behind great outings
the beauty does not rest, it does not settle, it is neither here nor their,

the beauty of life is around us, at every moment,
in every moment.
it just takes time to learn to see

Please don't
Broken bits don't get to go home,
Shatterd skulls no longer yaw
Skin cut and flayed does not fall.
Mearly drips,
The essence of my life flows.
I am in less control of this.
Then a river controls its bends

Every day He lies
To himself and the world around him
He dons clothing too dark for his skin,
He closes his eyes because when they open
He only sees whats inside
You could say hes so blind to it, that he leans on it
Every morning when he gets out of bed Like a crutch
Hes the kind of broken that can never heal
Hes the bundle of sin that will never be forgotten
Hes the ball of problems that forgot how to roll
Hes so...so dead inside

Its good to see your tears are done,
Little kitten,
It hurts me when i see them run.
Ima little smitten,
By the way
Your eyes play
Throughout the day, All sleep, no pay.
Keep hidding behind my toes
(Trust me they'll keep you safe)
Keep bristling against my nose
Whiskers and bells and whistles.
Watching your heart fall like a mistle.
Wishing i put up with the gristle..
I hope you fly
And i hope you dont find out untill you try.
To be taken by surprise and see the world from the sky.
To look down from the clouds and see the sparkles in my eye

Did you know when your ears are turned off,
I whisper "i love you's" in their Thousands.
Did you know that when your smilling at something cute,
that im smiling at you.
your the wind in the wings I didnt know I had,
Your the spark in my eyes I thought had died
if anyone ever tries to say "he doesnt love you"
then dont listen my dear, they're lieing.

I hate defintions
if you define  me i become by defintion; defined

define feces
****
excriment
poo

once feces allways feces
you see?


you define me i have no room left to grow
i have nothing left to change i cant change my personality or my style my job or my lover
definie me and you **** me
so i dont mind that my best friends know so little about me
because the moment they know everything about me,
i become known
and my secrets arent my own
so when someone asks me to tell me about my self,
i like to respond  

"by definition; undefined"

Dont dance with me my sweet heart
Liqour pulses in my veins
Dont dance with me my sweetheart
Youll find the steps a pain
Ive cradled my waltz.
Into a foxtrot filled with faults
And lined up my dancing soldiers.
To march  like lightning bolts
I tuned every broken instrement
And muddied the clean floor.
Now i skip through mine feilds.
Never fear about the gore,
The path i dance is a riddle itself
One that can be answered by nobody else
I find the longer i dance to my solem tune
The longer i despise myself

Talk to me
Just say hey
Tell me the time of day
I applied for a job
That's  preety Kool
I started an old hobby.  
Ive decided im no fool

Im a human  beeing.
I just want to converse
I know you have free time
So i challenge  you to write me a verse

I am terrified,
beyond all exemption
lost my bones
there shall be no redemption
I've favored a ghost
and lost all that was me
and now I fade
so effortlessly
I tried too hard
to be what was right
and now I loose myself
to the blade of a *knife

Congrats, your first time being a lock smith
and as you are new to the job I shall explain how volatile your position is
Because as you pick away at the fractured mechanisms of those who have come before you
the worn grove of a few different keys,
the click clack of pins cracked by the crushing pressure of their counterweights
your working towards a prize, the problem being this prize has been claimed,
now don't stress,
its been claimed an abandoned like a cute puppy with a bite so steel yourself and keep working
because im a lock,
and i cant show you how i feel until you open me..
and I cant reveal the contents i withhold until you push the right pins into the right slots...
so im sorry if i don't vocalize how i feel
because i want you to get through the steel bars blocking your way to the prize,
so please keep fighting...dont give up one me yet

Ive found  the edge of the facade,
I peeled  back all the layers.
Only  to find a rotten core,
I found myself  beeing played.
But why do i want  much more,
My skin crawls  when i try to sleep
The screams start when  i close my eyes.

How many  more  times  will you tell yourself  that all i am is lies?

And as crows raise my heart from the gutter
And i find myself feeling pride.
My garden  whimpers and wilts for no good reason.
Till i realized  you might be why it died

I sat down to write about how you made me feel, Funny,   I thought something indescribeable  would be easy to explain

For the longest time I was In a dark place. With weights of lead bound around my heart. The inside of my skull became  walls that I was forced  to scream at  my flesh  was a barrier to letting the happyness out, my fingers   gripping cold steal triggers trembling pleading to let the grey  matter out
To decorate the walls in my own shade of misery.  
But I'm here
Breathing

It's strange,  for a boy who never leave his room. To sit Under his washing line and listen to the birds  sing. I lie on butter cups as I watch clouds dart between wire and cotton, how did I get here?
What God did I pray too?
Who did I pay?

When my world  was over. My pistol In my hand. You happened.
The cloud that had allways sat just out of sight came running. Galloping . To give me water.  To give me life,

A blue eyed blonde haired mirror of myself emerged,
Your smile Is warm. And kind. Like the evening sun I write this in,
Your touch was wholesome. And craved, you took the freyed edges of the tapastry that had become  my life and started to spin a new story. You took the lead weights  from my heart and melted them  into sinkers so we could catch stories with our fingers,  your skin felt like silk that I could never afford.
With each step  you danced on egg shells as you try  collect my broken pieces
And when a part of my was missing you filled it with a part of you. And now I find myself intertwined.
Here in this warm glow I notice something I've never had before.
The voices In my head have  stopped chiming.  The cries are far away.
Your gifts  have  not stopped coming.  I pray your here to stay
In less time then anyone has ever been in my life you have done so much more,   in less time then it took to knock me down you've built me into something more
I'll never forget the way I feel right now, here. Today.
Because each and every time I see you.
I know I'll stay this way

i can hear her giggling from the living room
soft giggles, loud smiles, no more bundles of gloom
shes making the boy smile
making me smile too
because the hay stack ive been looking in doesnt even have any needles
and the path i thought i was following has turned out to be my own ,
i thought i was so lost,
i was so scared that i was alone
but as it turns out,
Ive never been far from home,
i love her,
she makes me love myself
ive never wanted to be with anybody else,
im glad that i found you
because in finding you
ive manged to find myself

Im not ok
Im trying
I dont want to be this way
I studied  so hard and it's all for naught
Be mercyfull god
I need a break
I give my happyness away to others  
Every  day
So im hopping some could come  
my way today

Do you think
You'll ever be tired of beeing mine?
Drunk ****** under two and a half  bottles of red wine.
I know your  kind,
Short and beautiful
Small lips with wolfs teeth
Swallow my soul  whole and carve your sigil into my breast,
Never once did I think you would ever fuel
What's  beating beneath  my chest.

Breathe steady baby, arche your hips
I've never been loved just quiet  like this,
Your hands around my  throat
My mind begins to float
I know before you. I had next to no hope.

"How many miles have you crawled "
You whisper in my ear
"How many smiling faces ,
And run down places have you seen
Before you realized I was your queen?"

"A dozen smiles "
My face turning blue
"And a million miles"
And I know  it's true
"But I know I'll never find another  broken heart that fits so well beside me,  I'll never  find anyone else like you "

Dabble baby,
I'm your supply,
You'll never know a guy who will get you
Quite this  high.

Smoke Me,
Drink me,
Snort me too.

Slip me onto your tongue,
Under  the sun,
You'll  trip, it's true.

The longer you use me
The more you'll see
No one's abused  the supply
Quite  like me

I'm dead and cold and dark and blue
I've sold my soul for a fix you know it's true

So now nothing makes me happier
Then poisoning  your mind,
Don't stay in my life too long baby
I'm just a fix, you'll find
For all the broken things inside you
You know you'll never fix
I'm just the duck tape
To stop you loosing your mind

No good dead

I'm no good dead

Rotten meat doesn't sell well

And tainted souls less so.

So chin up boy. Soldier on ,

To long thinking this way,

And you will miss the day

You finnaly get paid

Crystal parts
Broken hearts
I've been hiding all my fears
In this pipe
For far  to many years

You haven't  seen me, but ive been feeling rather lachrymose recently,
I know your not the liar you imply to be
But i think it's  your way of saying
You dont apply to me.

I'm alone now
Night sounds
Cicadas chirp incessantly.
The rain falls so softly
I know that no one's around

Blackberrys on the ground,
Wilting
The wind curls around me
No shelter
The  echos bounce around me
No sleep

When I get home, they'll be nothing to eat
But my good intentions

i am a drug, abused drug abuser,
you like to pick me up, take a drag
rip a piece
and throw me away in your disgust,
wear me thin...
and while you work on breaking my spirit
i inhale of my own poision..
pulling clouds of happiness into my lungs
for the low low price of my sanity
you picked me up one night and screamed
threw me to the corner and as usual
but this time you cried
you said"im sorry"
i don't know what that means
my soul is gone, i sold it to the devil for a fiver,
grinned as i counted the cents and he laughed away
my anonymity is stripped even the walls know my name
i dip my head as i walk down the street i don't want to meet their eyes
it hurts ,
to see that emotion,
happiness? content? i don't know
since you picked me up like a piece,
and started burning away my sanity
i became a drug

but im in limited supply

*L.G

im sitting in a crowded space.
thinking about how,
how not every hay stack has a needle
how not all ballads require tune
my thoughts wander in this crowded space
they are dispelled at a quiet pace ..
so crowded, so pierced with sound..

and so it ends, alone in my room
alone in this crowded space

*L.G