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Death-throws May 2015
Who else finds a pause an irritating absence of speech?
like  every single Fullstop. is an area that is to far away to reach?
that every single absence of sound is a wall so high its impenatrable to breach
dependable scenarios are ones which are riddled with noise
chaotic and invaluable noise
because without noise and sound,
songs from lips and barks from hounds
our lives are cut too short,
because no longer am i able to retort
Death-throws Apr 2015
im skipping through the day,
flying away like fairy dust and dripping gold like a caramel bar
grinning ear to ear like a Cheshire cat
because most everyone is mad here
and im not altogether here myself
3 parts infected  2 parts sane and 7 parts mad
my heads on a spring like a bobble necked pin
not here !they scream not here!
so my mind leaves,
truances my classes skipping through feilds of poppies and clovers
where all the rainbows end
my Conscience  can hide from the lies my eyes tell
so ive lost it 12 pence at a time,
rounded down to dimes,
raving lunitics prance here, in the halls of my brain
10:16 like its 420 again
why yes? why no
Death-throws Apr 2015
I despise my  shallow, fickle existence,
no more, no more.
Death-throws Apr 2015
The power of a man is measured in his mercy
Death-throws Mar 2015
We all face life, at sixty minutes an hour, indefinitely.

Death-throws May 2015
You just try and stop me from loving  you, I dare you.
Death-throws Oct 2016
Did you know when your ears are turned off,
I whisper "i love you's" in their Thousands.
Did you know that when your smilling at something cute,
that im smiling at you.
your the wind in the wings I didnt know I had,
Your the spark in my eyes I thought had died
if anyone ever tries to say "he doesnt love you"
then dont listen my dear, they're lieing.
Death-throws Apr 2015
oh where feeling a good as lovers can
its the end of the world again
dancing through the streets of your bedroom floor,
carving it up like knives through steak
and im looking at you with those hungry eyes all the same,
ill take you back, smile at the moon like wolves on the hunt
I think ill take a punt, carve a football from your heart and try score
the conversion, between the bars of your rib cage,
connect your organs like Frankenstein  in a game of operation
ill take your humor too seriously ,and giggle in my own misconception
sweet jesus im unholy ,
well, my jeans are holey,
so are my pockets
so dance with me little lioness
eye me up like a meal and ill lick my lips Like the lover you want
and ill grin like the lover you need
and ill swing like the dancer you plead for
so grin my sweet,
its 9 in the afternoon,
and we have so much more to do
Death-throws May 2015
Lost has become an expression to me,
not a sensation of unknowing
more of a sensation of loss of myself
im lost without you,
without it i might be dull
but without you, Im nothing but a shell
your the scrap i have left,
silk that weighs more then gold,
you have a heart of fire ive been told,
i want it, wrapped in ice and dipped in sugar,
I belive i am the one who can take you there
but we went from 80 to 0 real fast..
and  I wasnt wearing a seatbelt
but christ i still have whip lash
because  my unconditional love for you coaxed me into safety,
i took of my harness and let myself be me,
and now your saying i should take me away from me,
that i should just simply stop beeing what i am
its not so easy when all you have to fix a concret wall is craft paper
I get that you think im a lady killer
and i despise the fact you think i enjoy it,
but i understand your misconceptions, i know what its like to be stuck in your head without a lock for the broken key around your neck
but unlike you think, my tounge is dull as butter knife on any other median but paper,
my skull is as emptier of lust for another woman
then a gay priest married to Christ, '
you have nothing to fear  sweet heart, i dont want to go anywhere,
I know you think im a brick wall,
of problems and cracks and faults
and your mad your out of mortor to fix me
just understand knocking me back down doesnt get  me any further foreward..
be declicate when you build me back up...
your building yourself a future..
this broken fence,
this unshapped clay,
is yours now to ply and toy with. No one elses,
just say you love me one more time so i can sleep..
and understand im trying as hard as i can,
to be the man you want me to be
Death-throws Jul 2016
Ive been lied to, tricked and teased
Dont you see?
Ive had my trust stolen, shattered  and pawned
Cant you tell?
I bother you but i mean well,
You  take it as possessive  and controlling  im sure,
But that's  the opposite  of what im trying to do, i ensure.
I have trouble  trusting. You must know
Of course  i fret and fiddle, when you don't  tell me where you go,
Its nothing  against your charecter. I trust you holely.
But the holes in my head, they despise the act, knowingly.
Its the dark parts that whimper and whisper  about my defeat
and how your victory over me is complete,
"She could have anyone! Anything!
And youd not be worth a secound glance
Not worth a thing!"
"No she  loves me!" Id interject,
"She loves me and  i love her, from here to puket!"
"She doesnt feel  the same "the dark holes whisper
"She doesn't  think about you this way, she doesnt even ask about your day!"
I fall defeated
But not  before  a plead is headed
"Your wrong.  I love her. Shes all i have left,
I gave her everything  when i thought i had nothing left. And weather  she loves me, or you where right all along,
I promise  to wait. To sit here. To be strong
I wish youd show  me that you  care instead  of just telling  me its my  fault.
It is my fault.  But please don't  blame me for it.
Death-throws Oct 2016
Hey I know youll read this
Welcome to my life bub.

It's  a mess in here. My head  that is,
Broken glass and shrapnels of lead.
Ive hired  some cleaners before.  No ones ever come willingly
So it means alot that you want the job,
Because  this mess is killing me.
Good luck
Death-throws Mar 2015
Drug me
Fill me
Because I’m tired
And I scream
I writhe with my head, the hammers in my ears pound against my skull,
And my balance. is upset, drunken stumbles through broken courtyards…
At least I thought
Agony ripe within myself,
Ive lost!
The war stood hungry at my door step and like a beaten dog I turned with  tail between my legs,
How poorly I’ve lost..
I had spears to withstand a charge,
I had men of which to bear arms
my soldiers
I had friends of which to bear arms against my foes.
But addiction defeat me
Addiction wear them thing
Addiction wears their skin,
Lie to me, tells me I’m fine,
My friends have dissipated to drug fiends after their angry fix,
Prowling my bedroom
Prowling my dreams
I have failed my war, I have lost my fight, and darkness has stolen away my light
Yet I will prowl too
Carrying the baggage that has broken my back, dissipating the agony of my heartbeat  
In the effort of motion
Crawl on four wheels to a location not so far from my home, but to far to call home,
Loose myself in the winding streets
The black lit paths
And parks without playgrounds
I will wonder after my missing soldiers, following in their wake

Death-throws Feb 2016
Dont dance with me my sweet heart
Liqour pulses in my veins
Dont dance with me my sweetheart
Youll find the steps a pain
Ive cradled my waltz.
Into a foxtrot filled with faults
And lined up my dancing soldiers.
To march  like lightning bolts
I tuned every broken instrement
And muddied the clean floor.
Now i skip through mine feilds.
Never fear about the gore,
The path i dance is a riddle itself
One that can be answered by nobody else
I find the longer i dance to my solem tune
The longer i despise myself
Death-throws Apr 2015
Sometimes I'm high
and way of in the sky
I find peace
tripping out of classrooms and landing on my front teeth
spilling **** water like secrets i wasn't meant to tell

Sometimes I'm too high
and The clouds ripple around my head like mountain peaks
scrapping the ******* sky
sky scrapers got nothing on me i use them as shoes scrappers
take the **** of my feet,

Sometimes I come down
and i transform, curling into a space plane
sub sonic I'm pealing back the atmosphere,
red hot to the touch my existence is on another plane
more often then not though...
i wish i as here

Sometimes I just need a hit
just one,
Keep me up
I don't want to go down
I dont want to fall again,
because my fingers are singed and my hair reeks of smoke
my clothes are *****, and my pokets lined with coke

I love you,
not you
in my cone peice
in my lungs

I ******* hate you, i mean it, i mean them , ****  
Death-throws Jun 2016
I see beauty in every step I make,
this world has robbed us of the right,
to see with my own god given gift of sight.
no trust in my reality
only laugh at whats on the computer's screen,
I see beauty in every cobble, in every drunken wobble,
I watch the street lights glow pass through the trees that shelter below
I see the homemade art hanging on your mantle, through the window left ajar so that winters sounds may visit,
and I see the world spinning on its axis, the Pre-printed clouds scrolling past me like a news feed,

green grass and the smell of mud,  the wind disturbs trees that shed leaves as if they where a grand lady, shedding tears to some offensive gesture

the beauty in life is not in screens,
the beauty does not hide behind great outings
the beauty does not rest, it does not settle, it is neither here nor their,

the beauty of life is around us, at every moment,
in every moment.
it just takes time to learn to see
although theirs nothing wrong with social media, after all this platform is in itself social media, theirs more to life, there will allways be moments you miss and things you dont see
but the things you do see will never stop to make me smile,
have a good day x
Death-throws Jan 2016
I lost you on a blacked out path
Steep, winding, layered in broken glass
I thought id tought you to stay on track
I thought you said you had my back
I was planning to come and find you,
Lost in leaves dotted with dew
The odds are your safe.
Torch in hand
But im worried you didnt make it to the promised land
I hope your safe now where you lay. I know that ill see you latter today
Be steadfast in your lonely sleep
For i am lieing here
Nothing left but fear
And the ache i get when your not here
Death-throws Dec 2015
Little kitten
So i loved you
Little kitten
Kind eyes
Gentle heart
Silly jokes
And all those wonderful  parta
Take my words
Make them yours
And keep marching through lifes many doors
Death-throws Mar 2015
Maybe if I wasn't so timid I'd have your hand.
Maybe If I was brave enough to crawl from  this front line trench I've dug  and cross the no mans land to your house I'd have your heart.
And maybe if I destroyed him in 10th grade like I thought I would he wouldn't be here to fight
And maybe if  I knew how to read you I might know how to respond... But I don't.
Im winging it like those 12 foot angels wings only I seem to see. And I know you don't.
But I've seen you carry the weight on your back like lead bars stuffed in your coffin. but sweet heart.
I love you
I truly do and although all I seem to do is second guess my ambition like alexander-the-not-so-great. I want to conquer your mind and your body like the romans who came after him.
So I'm sorry I'm not strait foreward.. And the path to my mind goes through my heart and the guide I suppliedkeeps stopping to rest.
But I'll say it.
Don't go
Don't go back.
Please stay. Stay right here with me. On the wrong side of enemy lines.
Sharing the wrong drink with the wrong man
Please stay.
One more sunset where I can call you mine...
Your all I want any more.
And maybe if you stay for 5 more minutes
Maybe you'll truely trip and fall
But I'll be here to catch you
Death-throws Jul 2015
To be dead is to be cold
I am not dead
Full of motion
I am a pen
on a screen
filled with words
made to sheen
it doesnt matter
  if my words lean
   it doesnt matter
    if my words  scream
     i am only dead
when i admit it
Death-throws May 2015
Your an addict
                   I know
do you know what your doing to her?
                             I am reminded with every wheezed breath
do you know how much you mean to her?
                                            not a clue
do you think you can ever love her the way she loves you?
                                                            ­ *from the way things are going,
                                                          ­     I think im going to die trying
I love you, no matter what you think, no matter what your told, i do
thats from my mouth, my lips my mind my heart,
its undistorted,
i realise i have failings,
please dont pick on the one im trying to fix,
and decide im no longer worth your time...
Death-throws Aug 2015
Dance to the little drum beats.
Skipping through city streets in **** boy cleets.
Dancing  like its no little feat.

Crawling through allways filled with weapers
I find myself at the top. I might be one of the leapers

Dancing on skyline roofs in my freshman hoofs.
I don't have enough proof.

Just this wide blue roof
Falling upwards with a passion  
No distractions.

Black bag blankets and broken tracking anklets
Desperate situations  call for unecasarry fixations

Ive spent to long wrapping myself in ellation
To notice the devastation beneath me.

I see it now

As I fall

So slowly towards the sky
So I took a walk through my city.  It's amazing what you feel when you feel like nothing at all
Death-throws Mar 2015
my hips ache
they writhe in this...this angst,
this ecstasy
angst and ecstasy?
god there the same thing...
drive me up the wall, grit your teeth,
scream as the words press into your back
bit down, both lips ****** in, pucker up and ****
lie down ,lets ****
take me to a different place
not here but way down, deep inside me, take me somewhere else
make my head run circles around my mind
I'm series of thoughts wrapped in jagged bone
wrap me in bandages,
because in your arms I'm home, I'm safe I'm warm

the cuts don't bleed when your wrapped around them
taking you against my wall of words,

Death-throws Mar 2015
steel is what controls me,
steel emotions wrapped in spikes,
steel skin holding you back
steel eye hiding my vision
but  I'm growing tired of steel
I'm angry at its coldness, the grey flesh and cold heart
the agony of never being warm,
my friends are the same,
we draw our time from the fix,
lets melt ourselves down

I'm braking free
me and my barbed wire birds

I'm done sitting on the fence of angst but not being sure
if I can climb over
I'm done being a nothing following the crowd between rows
of steel and barbed wire
I'm done dancing between laser beams
and nightmare filled dreams
I'm taking my heart in my hands and running ,
Ill treat it like water slipping through my fingers and the only way to survive is by running faster.
so much faster.
Ill not let my heart slip through my fingers as my wings begin to spread me and my pack
of barbed wire birds,
our wings are made of corrugated iron folded to points
and the motion of flying stings my soul
but ill fly
you'll watch me glide
we will dive of the edge our hearts in hands
you'll see me fly, broken bleats from broken wings
bound together with the lust for more then to feel steel against my skin
because I'm flying northbound for warmer skies
lets glide past the the equator and through the tropics
I want to feel the heat that would melt a man

we are the hearts
we are the gods
the deity's of my minds
ill build shrines to myself just to scream
my soul beats free as my barbed wire wings
no longer am i wrapped  in steel
Ill take you with me, swap your heart for mine
scream like banshees
a technicolor passion drives me forwards
we will lay down ourselves to show you
as you sit waltzing through your strip wire fences
Ill turn them to wings ill float so high above you..
Ill scream at the 5 am light and bring up the sun
the world is yours
I am no longer a sheep
guided by lack of sleep
we are a pack
guided by our hearts
by our love
powered by our bleeding
barbed wire wings

massive rant...appreciate it if you told me what you thought :)
Death-throws Jul 2015
Lack of communication
is an accurate definition of my miss representation

Lack of medication
redirects my mass infection reaping the nation

lack of effective meditation
re infects my self designed disease facing annihilation

lack of representation
forcing myself to find a new nation

barriers affect communication
part of a series im writing while studying buisness,
most of these are inspired from the pure ignorance my teachers present to their students,
hoorah to the student loan
hoorah to the job not needed
hoorah to a life time of debt
Death-throws Dec 2016
I'd put a bullet in my head if I didn't have
A trigger  for a spine
Death-throws Mar 2015
I was never a good boy  , dabbling in the wrong side of the right life,  i stole coins like candy from my grandmothers cookie jar.  Of coarse i was wrong, but i allays...
I always thought i was right , because my world had so little light  i didn't know...
I didn't know what was right, what was i to feel? how i was i to fight?,
i wasn't..
depression is like having a red dot on your forehead and you cant tell if that's from the divines gifting you inspiration to speak or the ****** down the road firing words sharp enough to slit wrists through the ballistic scope of the internet. and how dare you say..
"get over it"
how dare you say"be happy",
because depression is like a black hole
that not even light can escape and where all stuck at the bottom..
only the lucky few get to sit at the top with smiles and wave without being ****** in. throwing in careless well wishes like the coin you stole into a well...wishing that coin would grow and swell and unfurl into the note  of green you think you need.
stop counting your own blessing and count mine,  because down here at the bottom  its to dark to see the notes of happy things you write, and still you throw more and ask for them back but why is it always about you?  why cant i get a helping hand without seeing the back of it against my cheek, because we only get help when its returned..and we can only beat depression when we earn it.  and the only way to earn it is to run faster then light because that's where the answer is...
and im not talking about the kind of happyness that drips from the slit neck of a broken bottle, im not talking about  the kind that seaps from my lungs in the clouds i blow, im talking about that someone ..
the girl with cute socks all fluffy and pink,  the doctor who series box set and waaayyy to many treats..
im talking about  the people who even when my skin is made out of stone see the marshmallow of my heart, even when my worlds falls apart, and the fragments of my reality splinter into stepping stones across a  raging river...
they make the steps not so far apart...
  while upstream my family and my friends rush construction on the dam that will slow the flow enough to cross..
the ones who grab that happiness that outruns my own black hole and dive head first into it m force feeding me spoonfuls of sugar and courage and smiles because  they never saw the swirls of darkness around me they only saw emptiness

And one after another those broken hearted lovers those screaming from slit rists or happyness in there raught minds strip there beds and make a rope from the sheets  and tossed it from the tallest window of the fortress of life and  as soon as it touched the ground..they scream. they scream like animals climb.. climb dam you climb!!! climb like gravities blowing you a wet kiss and  the worlds tied wings to your back CLIMB! and those eat the bottom of the rope .. they  chant your bane  to keep you going...keep moving they say.. and those on the other side who can see the sun rissing and see it getting better they scream hurry! because my lifes passing me by and only they can see it...

and i can say because of them...the friends that care the one who suffer i climb...Ii still do... I haven't stopped and im STILL not at the top but im still going...
and its hard...
and my hands bleed from the effort and the slits on my wrists beg to burst again but i cant...
I  cant **** the rope that love built with my own blood and slip back down
I  must keep going...
thanks to the selflessness of those around me i know that bed sheets aren't for nooses...
there for ropes..
because dreams aren't  knifes there an escape from climbing...
the soft pillow i rest my head on doesn't feel like rocks any more..
because i couldn't dream before and now its all i do,   i  scream it DREAM!  i yell from one ear to the next look at me! smiling with  broken teeth look-at me! my scars aren't scars because I've shaped them into badges of pride because im climbing...
and as long as i climb ill never have to touch the ground...
  as long as i catch the rope when i slip those who love me will cheer me on, iscream it... look at me, not even a black hole could catch me now

a quick spoken word speach
Death-throws Feb 2016
Hard to think
Hard to speak
Hard to walk
No retreat

Just breathe
Like i had a choice
Just because im breathing
Doesnt mean i have a voice.

Anxiety  shockwaves.
Ripple from my tounge
And though i am fearful
I know im only young.

Please hold me
Dont let the dark voices through
Though im alone
Im in the same room as you
I honestly despise anxiety.
What do i get for oppening my eyes? Unending pain .
I just want a good day
Death-throws Mar 2016
I* have the puzzle
in my hands right now
And no idea how to piece it together again
What seemed to work before
Now makes you apear broken


You only have to say a few words for this to become
And then nothin' is the same
Not any longer.
Hide me
Death-throws Mar 2015
I gave you a key,
a broken key
but its not a key ive trusted anyone else with,
because the other half of the key is still jamed into the lock
in the beating cavity of my chest
so push in its edge, tear my flesh, twist the lock
and please dont laugh...
but i hope you place your heart along side mine
Death-throws Dec 2015
Broken kitten.
Spitting fear-***** and choking on bile
Crying at the  foot of my bed
Burried in your head.
Sobbing into soft white mittens
Lips with no tounge.
Tounge with no face.
Life bleeding away' no trace
So curl into my lap little kitten
Not so far away.
Curl into my lap  little kitten
Scare the nightmares away
Death-throws Mar 2015
Congrats, your first time being a lock smith
and as you are new to the job I shall explain how volatile your position is
Because as you pick away at the fractured mechanisms of those who have come before you
the worn grove of a few different keys,
the click clack of pins cracked by the crushing pressure of their counterweights
your working towards a prize, the problem being this prize has been claimed,
now don't stress,
its been claimed an abandoned like a cute puppy with a bite so steel yourself and keep working
because im a lock,
and i cant show you how i feel until you open me..
and I cant reveal the contents i withhold until you push the right pins into the right slots...
so im sorry if i don't vocalize how i feel
because i want you to get through the steel bars blocking your way to the prize,
so please keep fighting...dont give up one me yet
The lock to my heart has warn out a groove, so im sorry if it doesnt turn as sweetly as it once did.
but whats inside, is still yours
Death-throws Apr 2015
Who watches the watchers
when  we have nothing left to watch
gone are the trees
weve left them all to rot
because the plants in my  window box are cut from plastic blocks
and the spite in my eye is free of charge,I've gathered it in locks  
and though their screaming of an oil spill , down along the docks
ill skip down  in my new  4x4 and cry about whats been lost


Im a hypocrite in progress
a fracture thats yet to show
and though my skin is smooth as wood, through uranium i shall glow
ive carved my bow from granite rock,
and counted all ive gained
because although as a race, we march and advance, i cant help but think where drained


gone are the days where i feel so safe that i can dance and sing,
and through  the fields explosions shall shriek and my ears will harp and ring
i am not afraid to loose my life
for what i believe is just
i just hope that if i walk no more,
it wont all turn to dust
rhymes! rhyme
Death-throws Sep 2015
I forgave her for eating my chocolate
even though she ate a hole block of it
I Forgave him for forgetting my birthday,
even though hes the reason i was born on that day
I Forgave the puppy
For wanting to use so much of my time for play
I forgave the thief
for taking what wasn't theirs to take
and of all this forgiveness
and all that resent
I find that if I try to forgive myself,
no relief presents itself

anxiety burrows down
and settles itself in your soul,
like a bucket riddled with holes
hope pores strait through my soul
so when i say that you give me forgiveness
when I say your helping me right my wrongs

Don't accept it as a responsibility
take it like a badge of pride
so many wrongs done by my side
that my pride has gathered its things
its no longer with me for the ride

Don't take my forgiveness so willingly,
know that I charge it to you with hope i cannot afford to give
in the hopes that one day
ill be able to forgive
Death-throws Aug 2015
I hate defintions
if you define  me i become by defintion; defined

define feces

once feces allways feces
you see?

you define me i have no room left to grow
i have nothing left to change i cant change my personality or my style my job or my lover
definie me and you **** me
so i dont mind that my best friends know so little about me
because the moment they know everything about me,
i become known
and my secrets arent my own
so when someone asks me to tell me about my self,
i like to respond  

"by definition; undefined"
Death-throws Feb 2016
You know what we used to be
You know what we are
And though i pretend its ok to be
I can no longer stand her beeing so close
To me
Death-throws Jul 2016
If i fell of the edge of love
Id find myself crawling to you

Just to carry you to. where  you had to be

Free of charge, i wouldn't  be mad

Id be glad

Because one hundred thousand  miles of broken glass

Is better then how  my chest  feels without  you
Its true
Death-throws Jun 2015
This morning i had to wake up.
curled right next to you
bottoms gone tops my legs twisted around yours like red vines
the feeling sweeter then anything
you woke me with kisses,
soft as hershies
and i giggled bubbly like lemonade
i hope this feeling never fades
waking up
every morning
in sweet sweet love with you
Death-throws Oct 2016
Y.. you want me?
All the little  broken  bits.  Youll take  them
For free?
Youll wrap my wounded heart in yours
Help close all those broken doors
Show me i can sail to such foreign  shores
Are you really what i need?
I dont think i ever saw this comming.
But you might be whats best for me
Death-throws May 2015
Yell a  little louder, I dare you
Your heart is a megaphone set to loud let it bleat its message
to  the crows and crowds alike

Your mind is a violin, sitting like porcelain  in a satin palace
Singing a somber tone to its audience of no one,
so alone.

Your spirit is a caged stalion
ready to rare, flash its teeth, grip its hind legs and stare

But in my arms you are  a puppet
so warm and soft
I have trouble believing how much you must cost

because the wears you fetch and sell have amassed no fortune
and the hearts you keep in jars have long since stopped beating

move on with me,
skip town, come dance around
free as yetis,
and just as likely to exist,

my presence unkown to you now
will be the dowry on which our lives will finnally start
And in your eyes, I might finnaly exist
Death-throws Mar 2015
I lack inspiration, when sound does not riddle the causeways of my mind
when echos bounce less around my cranium and more from my lips i find..
solace in the fact that no longer am i directed from indirect communications but more from the sound i make,
i learnt to grasp the steering wheel in both hands and turn sharp in the corners,
i learnt that without sound echoing through my ears my eyes work with pinpoint accuracy..
i never noticed the way the grass grows over old cobbles..
i never noticed the way my heart beats
the way it skips, and bleats,
i learnt not to be a sheep, but a profit,
a guider to the blind,
don't tell them I'm blind as-well
because it doesn't matter if i can see or i cant
it does not matter if what i say is truth or lies
but if the fiction of my antiquity compels you to lift your heart up
brings joy from the desolation of your mind but to the fore front of the battle field that is your life i have achieved something incredible, I've achieved peace
peace through happiness, joy through inspiration so read on!
read on young soldier,
your broken mind and battle ready battle wounds are bound too tightly by your compassion to conform
take of your bandages and read on! read forwards and on wards and strive to learn, why
why young soldier i know you've never been trained
and i know your mind is ill with discontent and i know your shoes are whittled to your socks and i know
i know how hard it is to stand with two broken legs and only the solace of that barren bare cranium to lean on
but in my antiquity young soldier
i have learnt that we are all warriors
fighters along a broken line standing our ground against greater odds then you could ever conceive of battling...
i know young solider that many will fall and die
and many will perish to broken minds and hearts and souls,
but the ones who make it through this perishable existence, the ones who fight beyond any compassion  beyond any reason,
god I've met boys who will tear out each others throats with their teeth I've learnt that men are shells of creatures that have never been fully understood,
my existence has been about 
nothing but fighting
and now i have reached an age where i can lay down the rifle of my words, i can leave my blunted knives to rust in a back closet i realized young soldier
the agony of your existence may seem like the end, but its just the start.
and when your reach a  point in your life where you can rest,
savor it,
do not let someone tell you how to exist without your consent , do not fight a battle you do not want to fight,
stand your ground young soldier
re-reinforcements are on the way
for a friend whose struggling... chin up bub x
Death-throws Dec 2018
I want something i cant have

Something ive had before, soft and tender,

Something that isnt mine

Something thats on my mind

A woman
Death-throws Jun 2015
you dont understand
its not in your mind
ive picked my angle
I truely cant rewind
my past lives have died
along with my pride
to choose you
is to choose a side

and though you think i dance
with grass burning freely
i am not a man, not without you, clearly,

i have made my choice, i made it long ago
to dance with you free, in sun wind or snow

but  i will pay my price
and taking my feet bare, walking camly without a care
my life has never been easy, nor soft, nor breezy,
i have never needed or wanted,
but still i have tried,
to crutch my problems, with a joint at my side,
pull away my crutch, and trip me up ,
i will fall
but i wont give up
because the love you give me is like none ive seen before,
and tho i get tired, and riled , and sore,
I find my self falling so softly
needing more
dont go,
please dont
but my crutch will be gone soon,
and my ailments still their,
so please would you help me get from here
to there
Death-throws Mar 2015
im sitting in a crowded space.
thinking about how,
how not every hay stack has a needle
how not all ballads require tune
my thoughts wander in this crowded space
they are dispelled at a quiet pace ..
so crowded, so pierced with sound..

and so it ends, alone in my room
alone in this crowded space

Death-throws Apr 2015
falling from the inside
like an old building
tho my facade has not changed, nor weatherd with age,
my foundations are cracked like used sand paper
the wallpaper is peeling of the bindings
support me
dont let me colapse apon the ground we have have soiled
dont tell me now the dirt i stood proudly apon  
*has been turned to dust
Death-throws Mar 2015
tonight i cut an angel,

her heart in my palm beating away. her words echoing in my brain, theyd been there all along, such beautiful soft words, words that mattered, words that cared , words that helped , words that pushed me up and  onwards

tonight i cut an angel,

her trust was as strong as steel in me, even when mine felt soft as yarn, she allways believed and faught for me without sense and without judgment
even when her sword was too dull to cut and too heavy to swing
her armor was so broken there was no point in wearing it,
but she wore it for me

tonight i cut an angel,

she is more beautiful then i deserve,more caring then i thaught possible, but frailer then rice paper.
she will allways love me, even when i hurt her, she would stand and smile and sow the hole in her heart closed again

tonight i cut an angel,

she wanted what was best, she knew what was best, she allways had and allways would, but my heart was beating to fast, my head was to strong. i screamed and faught and squeezed razors into the heart in my palm
tonight i cut an angel.

and now ill pray that to god he will send her back

Death-throws Jan 2017
Dabble baby,
I'm your supply,
You'll never know a guy who will get you
Quite this  high.

Smoke Me,
Drink me,
Snort me too.

Slip me onto your tongue,
Under  the sun,
You'll  trip, it's true.

The longer you use me
The more you'll see
No one's abused  the supply
Quite  like me

I'm dead and cold and dark and blue
I've sold my soul for a fix you know it's true

So now nothing makes me happier
Then poisoning  your mind,
Don't stay in my life too long baby
I'm just a fix, you'll find
For all the broken things inside you
You know you'll never fix
I'm just the duck tape
To stop you loosing your mind
Death-throws Jul 2015
Dancing little firefly round and round and round you fly
up through the sky so high
so little fear and no reason to lie
dancing little firefly round and round and round you fly
drawn up to the stars so high,
not a single reason to cry
my dancling little firefly
no longer will i stand so high
no longer will the world spill lies
because i am here to sheild your eyes
Death-throws Mar 2015
come on sweet heart
chin up, don't tear yourself apart,
stand tall,
even though your 5'6'
disregard that , wear your six inch heals and strut with  brutish animosity
your a lion whose collar brandishes six inch spikes facing inwards now take of your leather back straps and show them what you've been working on
let the sun glint of your scars and make dam sure they know  how you earnt them

Death-throws Dec 2015
Dancing little kitten
Plying for my toes
Just the tinniest flinch of movement.
And away your paws go.
To cling to my toes and my fingers
To swing at my nose
Soft kisses  are like wishes little kitten,
They rarely help.
But like wishes, soft kisses
Are allways felt
So  crawl back to my arms
Tears sting skin like sandpaper
Crawl back to my arms little kitten
Ill show you dont need a maker
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