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Haesel Feb 2018
I know I couldn't do that to them or you
It's just every thing is tearring me up from the inside out
Everyday it gets harder and harder to stay
Trying to pretend like everything's okay
It's making it hard to stay
My heart is heavy and all these things I've kept inside
Is catching up to me
Three years of avoiding talking about my problems and keeping sh*t inside my head
Makes me want to try new things instead
Alcohol Pills smoking a spliff to get high  
Made things 100x worse
A little something I wrote when I was in a dark place im so glad I'm no longer in that state of mind count your blessings
Amber Jun 2017
Thoughtless words flow from your mouth
And to me it sounds mangled and garbled
Some language that I've not yet learned

Some days i can make out what your saying
Usually in the morning
When the monster in you still sleeps.

But everyday he begins to stir
And I know that soon he will have taken over.

And then you ARE the monster
And whatever pieces of you I thought were salvageable,
Have vanished and I'm looking for an escape route

Anyway out will do
As long as I don't have to hear the words which you once spoke,
So clearly and sweetly,
Spewing out like a hot geyser
Unintelligible and broken.

What went wrong along the way
For you to so fully embrace
A monster that would soon inch into every corner
Of your life, stealing everything precious to you
And collecting them together with it's ugly claws
Balling them up and swallowing them into it's ugly black heart.

What made you love that monster
More than your own offspring?
What made you love that monster
More than yourself?

I've learned how to live with him
I've learned he's a part of you now
But no matter all the time that passes, I cant understand him.

His words, actions, thoughts.

And maybe that's why I cant help you rid yourself of him.

But when I can fully understand

I'm going to take that bottle he's been living in
And smash it into a million pieces.
Storm Raven Jul 2015
To drown
Fight my thoughts
To drown the pain
Death-throws Mar 2015
tequila Sundays
***** Mondays
broke pub Tuesdays
and bottom barrel Wednesdays
pay day Bacardi Thursdays,
broke back corona Fridays
angry fix Saturdays
you think I'm dependent on you?
to that i grin
and open another bottle

— The End —