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Jul 2016 · 273
Am I human
Death-throws Jul 2016
Talk to me
Just say hey
Tell me the time of day
I applied for a job
That's  preety Kool
I started an old hobby.  
Ive decided im no fool

Im a human  beeing.
I just want to converse
I know you have free time
So i challenge  you to write me a verse
Hey lachrymose and lies.
That means you.
Ive heard your kind of cute,
So tell  me. Will  you rebuke?
Death-throws Jul 2016
Ive been lied to, tricked and teased
Dont you see?
Ive had my trust stolen, shattered  and pawned
Cant you tell?
I bother you but i mean well,
You  take it as possessive  and controlling  im sure,
But that's  the opposite  of what im trying to do, i ensure.
I have trouble  trusting. You must know
Of course  i fret and fiddle, when you don't  tell me where you go,
Its nothing  against your charecter. I trust you holely.
But the holes in my head, they despise the act, knowingly.
Its the dark parts that whimper and whisper  about my defeat
and how your victory over me is complete,
"She could have anyone! Anything!
And youd not be worth a secound glance
Not worth a thing!"
"No she  loves me!" Id interject,
"She loves me and  i love her, from here to puket!"
"She doesnt feel  the same "the dark holes whisper
"She doesn't  think about you this way, she doesnt even ask about your day!"
I fall defeated
But not  before  a plead is headed
"Your wrong.  I love her. Shes all i have left,
I gave her everything  when i thought i had nothing left. And weather  she loves me, or you where right all along,
I promise  to wait. To sit here. To be strong
I wish youd show  me that you  care instead  of just telling  me its my  fault.
It is my fault.  But please don't  blame me for it.
Jul 2016 · 177
Death-throws Jul 2016
I love you
Im so  alone
I didnt pay attention  to myself
and now i feel as though im in trouble

At least you wont be there to trouble
Im stepping outside my plastic bubble
No air
Anxieties beware.
Even though i tried explaining,
No one can stop  blaming
My disorder  
On me
Jul 2016 · 212
Please help
Death-throws Jul 2016
This isnt a joke,
Im not ok,
Ive tried my best to live this way
I cant do it
Death-throws Jul 2016
A thousand miles behind me in a heap
A smile was felt a few thousand before.
I begin to eveny the kiss of the headlights  driving south
But then  i remembered  . Youd packed my car

Youd told me to drive so far
A million miles in the dark
With  your heart buckled in the back seat
To keep  me aiming for ditches
And to keep me travling to your feet
Id litterally move mountains for you
Jul 2016 · 477
My own doing
Death-throws Jul 2016
I cant find whats missing
Spending my time wandering grey streets
Slipping over cobbled blocks and broken pipes
No destination.
No idea  where to go
How am i to find whats missing  when i thought i held it so Close

I was opinionated.  Now ive lost direction
Missed conections
Defelected questions
I procrastinated myself into lonelyness
Theirs no deception
Jul 2016 · 244
Death-throws Jul 2016
If i fell of the edge of love
Id find myself crawling to you

Just to carry you to. where  you had to be

Free of charge, i wouldn't  be mad

Id be glad

Because one hundred thousand  miles of broken glass

Is better then how  my chest  feels without  you
Its true
Jul 2016 · 183
Missing part
Death-throws Jul 2016
Help, please sir i cant breathe,
My lungs.  They've  left me by force,
A theif!

Wounded stumblings
Ive been assaulted,  become disoriented  and abandoned
Left in a maze  and i dont know  the rules, sometimes i turn left, sometimes i say  yes
I could have sworn i was following  a golden path, but here i stand crippled and dazed

Why did this happen

I followed  all the rules.

I went to every training  session

So lost and afraid

So confused
Whered my lungs go, they where stolen.
I cant think any more
Jun 2016 · 1.6k
Why not?
Death-throws Jun 2016
I don't thank you,
I never have,
I'm six thousand seven hundred and eight eight days old
and I've never once'd stop to say thank you,
I had a good day today, and I realized ( far too late)
that I often have good days,
days where the sun shines
days where the wind is fine
days where I can take my time,
and smile
yet I've never thanked you,

i exist because of some unknown force, or maybe science, or maybe god
but Ill never know, and so I've never stopped to say hello,
and today I finished  a terrifying assessment,
and today wasn't that bad
so I've stopped to thank you
I don't ask for anything in return,
all I ask is to help others learn
that each day I open my eyes, is a gift from someone who might never materialize, and though you might not hear me, and though you might not exist,
thank you strange force,
I'm so happy I exist
just thank the air around you every now and then, we are lucky to be where we are, no matter where we are, poor, rich, happy, sad,
the fact you even exist is amaizing, so even though their might be no one there,
whats the harm in thanking the air?
Death-throws Jun 2016
I see beauty in every step I make,
this world has robbed us of the right,
to see with my own god given gift of sight.
no trust in my reality
only laugh at whats on the computer's screen,
I see beauty in every cobble, in every drunken wobble,
I watch the street lights glow pass through the trees that shelter below
I see the homemade art hanging on your mantle, through the window left ajar so that winters sounds may visit,
and I see the world spinning on its axis, the Pre-printed clouds scrolling past me like a news feed,

green grass and the smell of mud,  the wind disturbs trees that shed leaves as if they where a grand lady, shedding tears to some offensive gesture

the beauty in life is not in screens,
the beauty does not hide behind great outings
the beauty does not rest, it does not settle, it is neither here nor their,

the beauty of life is around us, at every moment,
in every moment.
it just takes time to learn to see
although theirs nothing wrong with social media, after all this platform is in itself social media, theirs more to life, there will allways be moments you miss and things you dont see
but the things you do see will never stop to make me smile,
have a good day x
Jun 2016 · 425
Death-throws Jun 2016
Winter Sunday

Lets stick around here, and wait till we can say
this is how i spend
a cold winter sunday

lets hide away
out of the grey

you dont even have to stress
its cold outside
And nothing will change that
no matter how you try

so stay under the covers
its warmer this way,
its how i spend
my winter sunday

Ill cook you pancakes, and sit around till noon
just me and you

bring half the bed to the TV screen
watch our shows
anything goes

You dont have to worry,
dont have to stress
cause with me and the douvet
this time is the best

as classic as can be
Its warmer this way,
Its how i spend
my winter sundays.
Death-throws Apr 2016
I watch the yard,
You have given it life,
Weeks ago I danced with blades and now
I find
You have saved me,

Your presence warms the sun,
Your fire ignites my fun,
The life I had,
Has nothing on the life I have,
All because of one,
Apr 2016 · 167
Death-throws Apr 2016
All to ash around me,
Food to ash on my tongue,
For all I have failed abound me,
As I sit here with my gun
Apr 2016 · 159
Death-throws Apr 2016
All to ash around me,
Food to ash on my tongue,
For all I have failed abound me,
As I sit here with my gun
Apr 2016 · 331
Death-throws Apr 2016
Born in your tiny prison cell,
A million times smaller then you are,
One single drop and your risen up,
Afraid of the dark,

Flying forever.
Your  feet allways on the ground,
Fighting  with rapture,
No weapons around.

So sharpen your teeth,
Peel back their skin
Release whats underneath

Born in your tiny prison cell

A million times weaker then you are

One single  breath and your rising up

Not afraid of your path
Mar 2016 · 956
To hell for a porno
Death-throws Mar 2016
An angel saw my ****
And told me god would forgive
And so i told the angel
If god could forgive me,
I would have wished to never live
I mean come on, my search history is bad
Mar 2016 · 468
Destiny #8w
Death-throws Mar 2016
But arent black sacks made for the bin?
Mar 2016 · 1.1k
Death-throws Mar 2016
Labour clenses
I sweat pure evil.
Lifting freight, peddling souls

No thank you
Im not climbing the ranks.
But slowly i begin to grin

I know where i fit
Assosciated with happiness.
Only known by doubt

Through labour i lift my plight
Mar 2016 · 2.8k
Toil till death
Death-throws Mar 2016
I watch you spy their futures
Scooping dreams with sillky fingers
Far too frail to dig,
Fear not,
The sweat from my brow will bring us life.
Sustaining and sweet
Care not,
Though you can not see them.
The huming birds sing
Mar 2016 · 274
Death-throws Mar 2016
I* have the puzzle
in my hands right now
And no idea how to piece it together again
What seemed to work before
Now makes you apear broken


You only have to say a few words for this to become
And then nothin' is the same
Not any longer.
Hide me
Feb 2016 · 519
Death-throws Feb 2016
Wasting war
Untouched soils, set to rott by a plauge of men
A million miles away
Where the sun sets on hills ill never see.
And the light touches faces ill never meet
The light bends a diffrent way,
Shells raining down upon your feet
Devils steal life and spirits reclaim bones
In the war you left me, to fight
Protecting forign homes
Feb 2016 · 777
How do i get back to that
Death-throws Feb 2016
**** rats and **** boy caps
Gas cans and empty beer cans
No dams in my way
No bills to pay
Just desperate days catching sun rays
Skin decay
Too much play.
I miss the summer months of drug addiction
Planning our lives out like a good fiction
Where the boy gets the girl.
And the premotion
No one told me id have to cross an ocean
Not of water, but sin
Fearfully thin.
Anger took my soul.
Withdrawl has refused to release its hold
Positive actions and negitive reactions
How do i get back to the good old days
Where all i worried about was getting paid
We each had our own way
No fear in the old days
I No longer hold Today
Feb 2016 · 375
Breathing (optional)
Death-throws Feb 2016
Hard to think
Hard to speak
Hard to walk
No retreat

Just breathe
Like i had a choice
Just because im breathing
Doesnt mean i have a voice.

Anxiety  shockwaves.
Ripple from my tounge
And though i am fearful
I know im only young.

Please hold me
Dont let the dark voices through
Though im alone
Im in the same room as you
I honestly despise anxiety.
What do i get for oppening my eyes? Unending pain .
I just want a good day
Feb 2016 · 641
Cant you see I hate it?
Death-throws Feb 2016
You know what we used to be
You know what we are
And though i pretend its ok to be
I can no longer stand her beeing so close
To me
Feb 2016 · 301
Just a drag
Death-throws Feb 2016
Guess you dont see the full picture
Just think about yourself
Never someone else.
I cant ask you to understand
The pain in taking one last stand
Stopping was never a switch
A fuse to remove
Some wounds to re-sow
Stopping was missery.
Withdrawl rattled dreams shook me from my sleep.
No cure.
Days and weeks of work.
No sleep,
This could never work
I tried it all for you.
I worked harder then i ever have.
And now you think a relapse
Is all i ever am?
Next time i ask you to change your entire life
Dont blame me if its to hard
Dont blame me for the knife
It was never about you. It was about fixing me
Feb 2016 · 429
Death-throws Feb 2016
And the sun rises
On another nights wake.
and now the light has kissed my skin
I must close my eyes and feint
For hours of waking in the dark night
Have left my heart sore
And now with the suns warm love
I need to wake no more
Feb 2016 · 967
Dont worry
Death-throws Feb 2016
Dont tell me not to worry.
It only causes stress
Dont tell me not to worry
It doesnt make me worry any less
The fear of your suffering.
Guides me through the night
And though you have assured me.
It does not aid my plight
Please come home
And  tell me to not worry any more
Please come home
Because it will only stop
When your at my door
Death-throws Feb 2016
Dont dance with me my sweet heart
Liqour pulses in my veins
Dont dance with me my sweetheart
Youll find the steps a pain
Ive cradled my waltz.
Into a foxtrot filled with faults
And lined up my dancing soldiers.
To march  like lightning bolts
I tuned every broken instrement
And muddied the clean floor.
Now i skip through mine feilds.
Never fear about the gore,
The path i dance is a riddle itself
One that can be answered by nobody else
I find the longer i dance to my solem tune
The longer i despise myself
Death-throws Feb 2016
Its scary.
I see it all again,
They way she used to treat me,
Way back when.
I know you say i should trust you.
I know i should too
But by now im sure  you know the only thing i have left
Is you.
So forgive my caution
But i have burnt my life away
On a prayer that  might wake up one morning
And realize it can just turn away
I never trusted the beast with no horns
But for trying to protect you.
I am rewarded with a side of thorns
I only mean the best
As i only ever have.
Because Fortune has struck me down before,i woke with you in my bed
Im worried it will strike me down once more..
And youll only remain in my head
Jan 2016 · 425
And i lost you
Death-throws Jan 2016
I lost you on a blacked out path
Steep, winding, layered in broken glass
I thought id tought you to stay on track
I thought you said you had my back
I was planning to come and find you,
Lost in leaves dotted with dew
The odds are your safe.
Torch in hand
But im worried you didnt make it to the promised land
I hope your safe now where you lay. I know that ill see you latter today
Be steadfast in your lonely sleep
For i am lieing here
Nothing left but fear
And the ache i get when your not here
Jan 2016 · 1.8k
Petrol and water
Death-throws Jan 2016
Crash test pilot  diving through clutter
My brakes  dont work
But im running out of gas anyway
The pills dont work
But i drank all my water yesterday
Starved of thought
To hungry to thirst
Im feeling like today cannot get any worse
Dec 2015 · 504
And i loved you kitty
Death-throws Dec 2015
Little kitten
So i loved you
Little kitten
Kind eyes
Gentle heart
Silly jokes
And all those wonderful  parta
Take my words
Make them yours
And keep marching through lifes many doors
Dec 2015 · 670
Flying kitten
Death-throws Dec 2015
Its good to see your tears are done,
Little kitten,
It hurts me when i see them run.
Ima little smitten,
By the way
Your eyes play
Throughout the day, All sleep, no pay.
Keep hidding behind my toes
(Trust me they'll keep you safe)
Keep bristling against my nose
Whiskers and bells and whistles.
Watching your heart fall like a mistle.
Wishing i put up with the gristle..
I hope you fly
And i hope you dont find out untill you try.
To be taken by surprise and see the world from the sky.
To look down from the clouds and see the sparkles in my eye
Dec 2015 · 856
Dancing kitten
Death-throws Dec 2015
Dancing little kitten
Plying for my toes
Just the tinniest flinch of movement.
And away your paws go.
To cling to my toes and my fingers
To swing at my nose
Soft kisses  are like wishes little kitten,
They rarely help.
But like wishes, soft kisses
Are allways felt
So  crawl back to my arms
Tears sting skin like sandpaper
Crawl back to my arms little kitten
Ill show you dont need a maker
Dec 2015 · 516
Broken kitten
Death-throws Dec 2015
Broken kitten.
Spitting fear-***** and choking on bile
Crying at the  foot of my bed
Burried in your head.
Sobbing into soft white mittens
Lips with no tounge.
Tounge with no face.
Life bleeding away' no trace
So curl into my lap little kitten
Not so far away.
Curl into my lap  little kitten
Scare the nightmares away
Oct 2015 · 447
Foot-free dance life
Death-throws Oct 2015
It never matters wether i sothe and grove or if i even bother to move.
Selfless youth.
Complaining of missing a tooth
Your not telling the truth
Ive seen you kissing,
wishing that what you hear is not the case
That your envy has gone to waste.
Homless soul lender on a weekend ******
Lenders ready for splender
Though you took my  soul
And hacked away at my feet.
No souls
Ill tie my shoes around my neck
And dangle from street poles
**** this
Oct 2015 · 363
Note of self
Death-throws Oct 2015
I live with crippling anxiety.
Waking up in sweats,
This is life to me

My alarm used to sooth me
Now it screams  cacophoney

Panic took its roots
And now it wont shake off of me
Struggling with regrets.
No one in this world can see

Fighting just to breathe.
I swear this is no life for me

Im trying my hardest to defeat it
But this is just my fight to beat

And i know you dont like it
But i hope youll see this isnt me

And tho i am devoid of self
Your nothing but the world to me
Sep 2015 · 1.9k
If You where icecream
Death-throws Sep 2015
If You where ice cream
and i was the sun
We wouldn't have much fun,
I think you'd Run
and even though it hurt you,
I'm sure you'd love me all the same,
You'd love me even more
if the ground was flooded by rain
because after the clouds parted
and my beams graced you once more
I'm sure you'd find us both, dripping onto the floor
Sep 2015 · 613
The hate machine
Death-throws Sep 2015
How much hate could i carry
If my heart was made of lead

How much suffering would i bring
if my soul was all but dead

How much pain could I bring forth
If My wings where made of iron

How much suffering would i cause
If you found out i wasn't lying
Sometimes we feel like drones,
sometimes remembering you have skin helps
Death-throws Sep 2015
I started Loitering in hallways designed for cars,
Death-throws Sep 2015
I forgave her for eating my chocolate
even though she ate a hole block of it
I Forgave him for forgetting my birthday,
even though hes the reason i was born on that day
I Forgave the puppy
For wanting to use so much of my time for play
I forgave the thief
for taking what wasn't theirs to take
and of all this forgiveness
and all that resent
I find that if I try to forgive myself,
no relief presents itself

anxiety burrows down
and settles itself in your soul,
like a bucket riddled with holes
hope pores strait through my soul
so when i say that you give me forgiveness
when I say your helping me right my wrongs

Don't accept it as a responsibility
take it like a badge of pride
so many wrongs done by my side
that my pride has gathered its things
its no longer with me for the ride

Don't take my forgiveness so willingly,
know that I charge it to you with hope i cannot afford to give
in the hopes that one day
ill be able to forgive
Aug 2015 · 923
A walk.
Death-throws Aug 2015
Dance to the little drum beats.
Skipping through city streets in **** boy cleets.
Dancing  like its no little feat.

Crawling through allways filled with weapers
I find myself at the top. I might be one of the leapers

Dancing on skyline roofs in my freshman hoofs.
I don't have enough proof.

Just this wide blue roof
Falling upwards with a passion  
No distractions.

Black bag blankets and broken tracking anklets
Desperate situations  call for unecasarry fixations

Ive spent to long wrapping myself in ellation
To notice the devastation beneath me.

I see it now

As I fall

So slowly towards the sky
So I took a walk through my city.  It's amazing what you feel when you feel like nothing at all
Aug 2015 · 1.9k
Untitled rhymes
Death-throws Aug 2015
Add me to the list of show horses who've kissed a gun

I'm tired of beeing the beaten one.
No fun.

Sick of beeing the last man to run
I feel like eventually I'll amount to someone
But till that day I'm just a body.
My sports have become  hobies
Sleeping in hotel lobies.
Giving gobbies for coins
There is no fruit in my *****
Just an ache that lies in the wake of my discrimination.
Acting alongside my procrastination
No longer will my forehead bead with

I have become a man that could disappoint a nation
Death-throws Aug 2015
So the betroden travler
Relieved himself of guilt
And learnt much about how he was built
To late he feared for problems past.
But the angel told him this solution would last

"Go forth and find your wings "
The doubltless angel smiled
"It's been to long. You where but a child.."
And realizing be was among his kin. The travler applied a massive grin

"We are the angels of life truth and love ,
And without our wings we fly like doves
Powered not by hate.
But by love "
Aug 2015 · 1.2k
The man who found his wings
Death-throws Aug 2015
A poorly rolled  ciggerette
And a limp **** smothered in regret
He asked the angel who forgot to wear her wings
"How long till my forgiveness sings?"
She smiled non shalontly
"My dear that is quiet a gaunt
But for so long as sinners taunt  the slits on my arms will grin
And so long as cheaters win
The air from my lungs will thin
To long of this I fear and none shall win
But hope in death. Your forgiveness rings
So sit young traveler and rest your weary eyes.
Hide yourself from this world's lies "
Aug 2015 · 553
By definition; undefined
Death-throws Aug 2015
I hate defintions
if you define  me i become by defintion; defined

define feces

once feces allways feces
you see?

you define me i have no room left to grow
i have nothing left to change i cant change my personality or my style my job or my lover
definie me and you **** me
so i dont mind that my best friends know so little about me
because the moment they know everything about me,
i become known
and my secrets arent my own
so when someone asks me to tell me about my self,
i like to respond  

"by definition; undefined"
Aug 2015 · 345
Death-throws Aug 2015
airport walls
universty halls
hospital toilet stalls
for when nature calls
places to cold and clean
to sheen
places so white and clean
so fake and prestine
so healthy and safe


and all are for waste
the germs in hospital  stalls **** more
then the university walls see students
steering suicidely out windows and doors
looking for the quickest route to the floor
which might be four stories out of a window...
and into the paved covers of my concrete queen size
sleep for infinity what a way to rest my eyes
what a way to be alive
no stories to be told from dead eyes
Aug 2015 · 256
Aug 2015 · 1.1k
That reply
Death-throws Aug 2015
So you replied
after telling me not to
im sure you lied
but ive decided ive got to
find out why
otherwise ill rot to
i share no pain any more
i just wish we could be more
then enemies on the same playground
because this swing-set is to big for the two of us,
and i have reinforcements hanging on the monkey bars
the feelings arent their any more
but it doesnt mean you dont have to be
Im tired of fighting old ghosts.
i just want peace
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