it’s that time of year again
a time for re-evaluation

my gratitude awards
go to ...

disinterest in material things
those who see better values
cultivated kindred spirits
kindred strangers
who are yet to be met
a comfortable life
the cliff, the trees,
the creatures, the seas,
the music
the things i can do
and the freedom to do them
and the love
that was shared
this year

i am gloriously indulgent
when left to my own devices
lashings of stylish fulfillment
in a mix of virtues and vices

i have my sense of order
though i am craven to desire
drunk with a sense of beauty
to torch blandness in a fire

poor dear mediocrity
your time is not with me
you are my sworn enemy
find others for company

i burn for what is art
and those, who do it for love
they are my choice of company
together, we'll rise above
​

sometimes i’m shocked
by the smallness of my world
at times something happens
that spotlights my ignorance
and i don’t worry

because knowing all
will never be
and knowing that
just reminds me

how what we know
is ever
in philosophical doubt

and what we know, we don’t know
is massive, multiple and manifold

and what we don’t know, that we don’t know
that unfathomable black hole
really can’t matter

leaving me in a state
of delirious mysterious wonder
accepting happily
that there is much to ponder

but there is no hurry
so what me worry

can anyone tell me
why East and West are fighting?
in an indisputably Round world
going West far enough
will put you in the East
and vice versa

in a round view of things
people of the east
need the same things
as people of the west
and what about the middle people?
what do they need?
roundly the same I'd say

so roundly I also say
otherness is to be avoided
otherness to be voided
replaced by roundness
roundness is to be embraced
all around the world

so I'll start
and put my arms around you
like a circle around the sun
for I am
as round as you

the adventure starts every day
enjoy each moment in every way
you go, ever with my love
but thoughts of you come every day

i liked it the way you listened
i could tell by your eyes
and your smart questioning

i liked it that you had a sense of beauty
a quite relish for stillness
and the spirit in things

i liked it the way you cared
for people’s feelings
the hosting of your society
and your tender awareness of sensitivities

i liked your sense of humour
and interest in people’s bizarre stories
your relish for their secrets

but most of all

l liked it the way you touched me
going straight to parts
i didn’t even know that
set my soul on fire
electrifying my desire

each moment is golden
not to be squandered on worry
that is to say
action from a good heart
is all
with a good heart
as a foundation
then spontaneous action
will be kind to people
be for a greater good
or just express love
without fear, suspicion or rivalry
then moments will count
and a person can be joyously light
living in gratitude
of each golden moment

we all remember
where we were
watching the towers
burn and fall
knowing that things would
never be the same at all
disbelief at first, or
had an action movie
slipped into the news

no, it was real
and then twenty years
of vengeful repercussion
of military posturing
of suffering for many
we watched
the baddies being painted
good and evil
being redefined
virtue confused
impotence and power
conflated
lies and spin
consecrated
truth
alternated
idiot rich guys
promoted
tax for the poor
promulgated
democracy
desecrated
climate destruction
accelerated
by denialist
complacency
inequality
more concentrated
goodness and morality
infiltrated

by posturing political
pus weasels
venal vultures
of self interest
grasping for
short term dominance

and then ..
complacency pervaded
as absurdity
was accepted
as our new state of normal
and the height
of compassion
was owning a dog
and tut tutting
as refugees marched
across our news screens

and now we
bemoan being isolated
from being contaminated
we are mostly relegated
to stay in our mansions
while dinner is contemplated
have you been vaccinated?

big moon
you transfix me with your gaze
you hold me in your eye
with your muted clarity
your simple mystery
your enigmatic answer
your reflective light
your seductive hypnotism
your soulful beam
you didn't tell me you were there
did you?
but I knew ..
because I can feel you

screen obsession
has taken possession
our lives are not our own
we spend all our time
looking down
at laptop or smart phone
why do we need
the data feed
at every living moment
perhaps we could learn
to ditch the phone
and just think of what the day meant?

Lately I feel
I am being crushed
between tectonic plates
of Impossibility

The advice of those around
contradictory and senseless
The constraints offered
leave no possible solution

Then I see
that it's not me
The game they gave
has no salve

I'm in the wrong game
This game is actually
Theirs

the man nearby on the train clacks his laptop offensively
like the annoyance of noisy writers in school exams
when I was stultified by writers block
I wonder what the black girl would taste like
passengers feed their fatness with crinkly cellephane food substitutes

did you have a good weekend?
conversation openers start to chorus
corporate cockwombles
talk in jargon tongues
as they sell their souls
to white shirt organisational ambition
common sense takes a back seat
in the street car of Progress
there's talk of profit and effiencies
from men who never made their wives moan
there's talk of scalability and security
from those who know nothing of flexibility and risk
there's talk of innovation
from those whose personal best
is a smart phone

have you seen the latest?
what do you think?
hey, that's what I think!
we must be brothers!
in a cozy co-ordinated mediocrity.

It's here again
more gentle light
a welling of spirit
the urge to move
limbs eager to
gambol and play
the song of birds
senses soaring
green growth
erupting sunward
blooms posing
both with flowers and people
my heart is singing
my outlook sunny
I feel like making
love to life

in a world
where any shopping mall
is just like all
when we all
worship Paul
when pervasive banality
and conformity
leaves me
in a sea
of mediocrity
you give me
a reason to be
happy
sweet pea

sometimes I stop at you
and look
with eyes of grateful wonder
your spirit still all shiny
yet you are still here with me

yes  some things aggravate
but why should they, if unsurprising?
they shouldn't really get to me
it's  your different way of singing

well-seasoned are my campaigns
i've loved and lost a few
i come with all my baggage
to be here with you

i think that I am blessed
and live by this adage
happy with a playful angel
not being unaccompanied baggage

life is rich with chance to risk
with wonder and supposing
not to live and love in cliche
please stand clear doors closing

east of the sunset
stands our house
there and west of the dawn
are seven seas
to sail our ships
for we are the vagabonds
I believe in the wonder

while barnsey
cried like a refugee
i ate like one this week
a statement of support
for those not as lucky
about the lottery
of this global inequity
a little lesson for me
well fed and free
in knowing food
in knowing gratitude
in knowing hunger
in knowing anger
in knowing want
and saying don't
dismiss humanity
not as free
a glimpse for me
a little empathy
for life as refugee

while our massive
magnificent blue orb
turns in slow grace
and basks in the sun
i live my days
in self absorbed ways

but now and then
… like now
i step out into space
and look down on
my insignificance

i live my life down there
basking in the sunshine
of your warm regard
and the odd smile
from a well-meaning stranger
loving the beauty i see

it’s all that i’ve got
and is mostly enough
for my brief ride
on this magnificent
massive blue orb

life is the sequel
after Mum and Dad
******* into existence
you go on each day
busy in your sentient head
but your body is naturally
drawn to others to ****
whether you are seeking
to shoot ***** *****-ward
or milk it toward yours
it is our primal procreation push
oh yes we are sentient beings
who are very clever in contriving
higher purpose for our existence
in denial that
we are basically here to ****
while we do crosswords
or sudokos
in between time

​where the hell did you come from?

my callow frame in younger days
was cause for derision and nick names
i was “will o the wisp”
who disappeared when side-ways
magically reappearing when front on

i was lean and keen
a blonde-haired light surfing machine
now when side-ways there is a bump
a belly **** that wasn’t there before

was it habitually too much lunch
that steadily grew the paunch?
was it all those beers and cheers
over the years and years?
was it the invisible slide to a life sedentary
that expanded organs alimentary?
or is it a denial of my peter pan myth
that with age i just have to put up with?

anyway suddenly it seems to have come
but where the hell did it come from?

as people come
into my game
it becomes their game
along with all the baggage
that they carry

but it really is
only a shared moment
a temporal unowned event
an ephemeral collective experience
not to be taken seriously

my game is then
only what I bring to it
a performance
in that moment
best played
with energy
with authenticity
with serendipity

I was reading a book on mindful compassion
but I fell asleep

I had good intentions
but something better came up

I went to Vipassana meditation
but a **** broke my focus

I went on a 5-2 fast
but I had to finish the plate

I made a New Years resolution
that fell into dissolution

I had a healthy constitution
till I found a lazy solution

Once I was undecided
but now I'm not so sure

I thought I had climbed every mountain
but have never climbed Mount Druitt

I thought I had all the answers
but never really knew it

I thought I was young and fit
till a girl offered me a seat

I thought I was in demand
but nobody rang

I sat in a "quiet" carriage
but announcements left silence in carnage

I'm not a racist
but ...

"Pardon brevity"
says smart phone poet
just doesn't cut it
and they know it

with a love of words and
care for their composure
you are moved by one whose
craft gives you closure

so give us your muse
the essence of your stuff
don't hold back and know
when enough is enough

sometimes i wish
that we were closer,
as we have been
as close as can be

but i think we
are true friends
because we don’t
need each other
between exchanges

and celebrate
each other
with undemanding love
when we do

today i saw a woman who was tall
she walked with no apology at all

head and shoulders above the rest
her freakishness to test

her back was proud and straight
highly poised in her gait

she chose grace in her distinction
outstanding in unique  perfection

sailing tall with urbanity
in a sea of ordinary humanity

i liked that!

now that we know
   the truth of our connection
   the instant bond of our spirits
   the strength of our friendship
   the embers of ****** celebration

let me fan
   your fire
let me be
  the servant of your desire
let me plunge
  the depths of your passion
let me be
   the Lord of your mansion
let me explore
   the valleys of your being
let me be in
   your valleys and ceiling
let me take
   your hand
let me be
   your man
as we climb and stand
   at the peak of your demand
let us explode
   at a height
   with all of our might
till we subside and melt
   with all that we felt
   in post ******* lava

then let me look into your eyes
   complicit with our prize
   of love without bounds
   of love without borders
  of pure love confirmed

unconfined and not contained
free to roam
   every domain
for our foundation
   will ever remain

man and woman are one
when wooing alchemy is done
when what is man is
wanted so bad by woman

and what is woman
is wanted so bad by man

touch and tease
tantalise and squeeze
till joined in genital congregation
speaking tongues of lustful sensation
become feverishly driven
in procreational oblivion
till peaks are reached
till urges are beached

but fluids are blended
and the seed is sown
deep inside
where it may be grown

as the day has left me
love is still there
for special ones
I thank these inspirations
for love's desire
invigorates and sustains
this weary soul

So I look forward
to being together soon
with company
who make me whole

Now to croon this tune
to a crescent moon
to telegraph it
to telepath it
Just to do this lifts me up
I believe my targets get it
even if they don't know it

I'm a love transmitter
a shining sun
in a world that's done
having fun
because you have won
if you learn to love
Everyone

good health
i have had a comfortable life
with middle class privilege
but i have known and seen
bullies in my class
making me stand against it always

they are leading the country now
and are demonstrably showing
brutal intransigent power
over those without citizen identity
because we had wars
in their countries

so they have done nothing more
than seek a better life
who wouldn’t have?
and now they can’t go back

so many people compromised
by oil greed and power avarice
rendered without country
without wealth
without identity
without dignity
these people are no different
in human need
yet

i have place
i have citizen identity
i have freedom

early morning thoughts
are blended with
murmurations of dream residue

the hard reality of my wheels on the road
is questioned by
frangible doubts of which is which

the fancies and specters of last night
are still in mind
along with getting-ready logistics
rude reality versus reluctance to focus
subconscious freedoms versus routine rigor

riding my bike too soon from sleep and
I just don't wanna know any more

here I am
there you are
hope there to here
is not too far

if the furniture of your mind
all came from IKEA
if you have not
an original idea

if you think Ray Hadley
is your rough diamond Jesus
you are probably a far
cry from genius

if all you believe
and all you conceive
is Alan Jones
or 9 on the teev

if all that you've said
and all that you've heard
challenges not
and runs with the herd

if all that you've heard
and all that you've said
makes you
a derivative ditto head

think for a bit
and marshal a thought
test every idea
that you ever bought

run it up against
a value frame
does it work? Is it
worth your name?

do it with care
you know that you should
get a grip
on all that is good

you don't have to accept
swallow and follow
you alone can
make your tomorrow

break from the herd
all fears surmounted
be your own hero
stand up and be counted

​
we always connected
we felt it right away
how our spirits smiled
when we first met that day

i know you well now
when all is said and done
i even know how your toes
point down when you come

now we are good friends
which is how it should be
keeping our distance but
there's ever possibility

when you come close now
a mission i am on
to touch, to taste and join you
in genital frisson

forget perfect
my friends
as we manifest
our aspirations
it's about the journey
not the score card

i don't understand
slavish worship
of big data
like it was
a big mama
of truth? streuth!
more data won't
help discernment

this is not science
and way less than perfect
yet slavishly we
attend our screens
providing metadata more
hash tag what for?

blessed i am
to wake surrounded
by bird songs multifarious
each with their signature calls
saying ...

where’s my mate
we need to perpetuate

driven by nature’s code
keeping within my mode
where’s my mate
we need to perpetuate

alive and in my prime
now is our time
where’s my mate
we need to perpetuate

i’m looking to find
a lover of my kind
where’s my mate
we need to perpetuate

joyous chirping, tweeting, whistling
warbling, crowing and wooing
in a chorus of overtures
invitations to the nub of life,
procreation

mauve and red on azure hue
jacarandas, flame trees and summer blue
that time again of heat
and inappropriate rituals

we grew here
and santa clause flew here!
who does he think he is?

roast dinners while paul kelly
asks who will make the gravy

bush fire victims needy of funding
while millions are spent on fireworks
as though there wasn’t enough smoke
or air pollution

families who avoid each other
through the year
gather with cheap coloured paper hats
and pull the ritual bonbon
and tell bad puns
to fill the gaps in conversation
and the cicadas sing out
the banality, the ennui

while cashed up families
tow caravans up and down the coast
to camping area suburbias
and celebrate their right
to overeat and drink beer
their god given entitlement
to be strayan
and talk about queue jumpers

that’s why i make my own ritual
based on the good things
of that time ...

respite from daily routine
time for quiet reflection
on the worth
of who you are
and who you’ve helped

​
rather than navigate the
perilous straights of truth
you wade in shallow waters
of irrelevance, in a hi-viz safety vest

you can't talk of risk
when you have wasted your life
in banality

pretending as the arbiter
of decorum and manners
while committing the cardinal offence
of being boring

feeling resentful when people
don't listen to you,
so you club them
with corrective self righteousness

making a big deal of
breaches of protocol
as though it matters

you are vigilant about
inconsequential detail
the extent of your control

you dedicate your life to
rules and values made by others
rather than imagine other ways

our fate is the same though
all of us die

but I ... will live madly
with the thrill  of a life
without restraint
burning for beauty

what is it about water
so calming and meditative?

spent most of my life looking at it
bringing on muse and contemplation

watching the flow lines
of surfers at wave play
or

gazing at
the ancient river red gums
bowing to the muddy Murrumbidgee
in reverent silence

and now watching
the flowing gutters
and umbrella parade
over a beer
in a Newtown bar

water makes me wonder
in a peaceful way
of the beauty in the world
like the dancing air-borne plastic bag
in American Beauty

the merry chase
is not a waste
if love and passion
are to your taste
the gifts you gave
are now shared
and I am now
to be compared
we went to places
now special and ours
they are sacred
in memory bowers
we freed each other
making love more true
especially when it
doesn't own you

again time
has moved on
without my permission
leaving me here
older
and full of wonder
about
what I don't know

curiosity ...

involves a will
to question
a facility not needed
when you have blind faith
in shock jocks who compellingly
save you the trouble
there is power in persuasion
a voice with sonorous conviction
that corrals you into what to think
burrows into a small mind
like a god-voiced ear wig
quelling the notion
you are not so sure?
Pauline has the courage
to say what
you are thinking
or the audacity
to fill an empty vessel
that had nothing
but a nascent fear
that blissful ignorance
was under attack
so gather with the herd
know you are not alone
the mediocrity shepherds
will reassure you
that you are all together
it’s them that are different
it’s them who are hatefully wrong

i am of an age ...

when hubris cannot be afforded
and perception is informed by experience
when a mind that is questioning is a turn on
yet healthy enough for primal urges

i am of an age

where knowing what i don’t know
fills me with curiosity and wonder
when i have time to look at nature
and think deeply of its beauty

i am of an age

when i know to curb my nostalgia
so not to bore the young
but have a rich past to appreciate
and the bold inspired moves
that made it great

i am of an age

when i can play with my grand daughter
with connection and joy
while seeing the wonder of learning
and the purity of innocence

i am of an age

when the worthy are quickly separated
from the time thieves
who are quickly dispatched
only to give to the worthy

i am of an age

when character and spirit are primary attractions
regardless of any other categorisations
when the soul of another can be seen
and be the most important thing

i am of an age

when i walk the dog
and feel like a boy
when kissing a loved one
makes me feel new

i am of an an age
when i can appreciate you

time to stop
hunker down
withdraw
think
reflect
celebrate silence
hibernate
conserve
hug
roast
contemplate
regenerate
sleep­
dream
breathe fresh air
enjoy winter
the quiet season

not long ago
I met woman with a secret
we talked ideas and shared words
she lent me a book and gave me
movies she had made
we met a few times and discussed things
once I said that I was a bit down
she said "We have to be positive"

now she's dead
that was her C secret
nobody knew but one good friend
who found my number on her phone

so I say thank you
to the world
for people like that
in my life
who create gifts
rather than gripe

margaret you really mattered
to me

we used to run without shoes
we used to swim without snorkels
we used to walk not drive a car
we used to heal without a pill
we used to be happy without a screen
we find our way without emaps
we used to procreate without ****

we are accessory addicted
alone we are conflicted
from nature we have shifted
from ourselves we have drifted

a man is rich
in proportion
to the number of things
he can afford to let alone (Thoreau)

mother ocean is my church
and oneness is my belief
the sea is forgiveness
and she can crash you on the reef
she teaches me humility
and calms my restless soul
she dissipates my static
and makes me again whole
i return to land and people
consecrated by her water
ready to play again
strong without falter
when my day is done
and i’ve done all i can
return my borrowed molecules
to she who understands

that as you get older
the spirit in your head
doesn't.
did you ever think
you would ever get
to this age at all?
do you ever feel
too young
to be this old?
age just increases the gap
between our bodies
and the spirit in our heads
so what's the point of a number?
the spirit in my head
is still the child
it ever was.
how's yours?

we argue every full moon
our determined spirits clash
time has taught us not to worry
it’s just a reclaiming of identity
necessary for self and mutual respect
often times though
i see your lovely nature
am pleased by you and me
tenderness assails me
longing to caress and kiss
i must act on these impulses
and not succumb to
habits of numbness
and head digression
touch when impulse pulses
caress when you feel caring
kiss as soon as the urge comes
we are relationship stayers
who have made it through every crisis
we have seen each other in all states
and are still loving mates
here’s to us
eternal love mates
i think because
at the end of the day
my little boy
and your little girl
will always want to play