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Calliope Jan 20
In the midst of our passion,
I tried to make you show your hand.
You were losing your poker face,
I thought your inhibitions were gone.

But when I said “tell me what you want”
You replied “for you to be happy and healthy”.

And that shattered the dam.
The wall that held back the sea splintered.
And I let you see me drown in my pain.

I told you how letting you gorge on me
Made me the kind of sad I could control.
It was a shallow kind of sad, one that could be fixed with scotch tape.
I ripped the adhesive off  of the shallow sad
When the deep dark sad became too much.

I told you how letting you gorge on me
Made me feel useful, even if it validated everything he told me.
I don’t care that my body is nothing more than something to be ******,
At least I’m doing my friend a favor.

So even if I can’t be happy and healthy right now,
And even if you know that,
At least we can see each other for what we are
As I let you feed his desires for me,
And you let me feed my desire for pain.
anna Aug 2018
you knew i liked you
but we had become so close as friends
that when you asked me out i hesitated
i didn’t want to ruin everything.
not again.

we went out anyways.
i kept my distance,
but ended up regretting it -
i was into you and
that was that.

i fought my nerves and
confronted you about my feelings.
you didn’t want a relationship,
you were leaving soon and
couldn’t commit

but you liked me too
and didn’t want to do nothing about it.
friends with benefits
you suggested.
that didn’t seem like me
but maybe it was exactly what i needed
i agreed
under the conditions that
nothing hurt our friendship

we went out again.
you didn’t know if we should,
you thought it didn’t seem like me
i agreed
i’m sentimental
why do i have to be so sentimental

later you said you wanted to kiss me
and i really wanted to kiss you too
so we did.
it felt passionate and intimate
i felt closer to you.
a couple weeks went by
no talk about it.

i confronted you again.
i couldn’t give myself
to someone i’m not dating
you wanted more than kissing
or you wanted nothing at all
you didn’t want me to regret anything
that i did with you
i wasn’t sure what i wanted.

i said we should
test the waters
so i said you could touch me
i felt i needed to experience new levels of
physical intimacy
with someone i trusted.
that someone was you.

until you grew impatient of
my virginity
you cut off our deal
insisting it had nothing to do with me
that’s my problem
you said.
i said it’s fine, our friendship is most important.
it is most important.
i could never risk losing you that way

something still twisted inside my gut
at what you said
i thought you wanted to be intimate with me
because you liked me for me
no
you just wanted somebody -
some body-
to give you that easy lay.

but i wouldn’t give myself up that easily
you couldn’t handle it
you were done with me
i felt like i was less than a person to you
a person i had trusted with
everything i am.
a.m.
Hatred as deep as a sea, enrapturing rage against the world
Goodwill for all beings, kindness without boundaries
Such are transient thoughts of those without a will
Surrendering to simplicity is a weak man's imperative
Hatred and goodwill are interchangeable
Dependant on one eternal factor
Benefits! No eternal enemies, but eternal benefits.
Same with allies, no eternal allies but eternal benefits
Rick Warr Feb 2018
i am of an age ...

when hubris cannot be afforded
and perception is informed by experience
when a mind that is questioning is a turn on
yet healthy enough for primal urges

i am of an age

where knowing what i don’t know
fills me with curiosity and wonder
when i have time to look at nature
and think deeply of its beauty

i am of an age

when i know to curb my nostalgia
so not to bore the young
but have a rich past to appreciate
and the bold inspired moves
that made it great

i am of an age

when i can play with my grand daughter
with connection and joy
while seeing the wonder of learning
and the purity of innocence

i am of an age

when the worthy are quickly separated
from the time thieves
who are quickly dispatched
only to give to the worthy

i am of an age

when character and spirit are primary attractions
regardless of any other categorisations
when the soul of another can be seen
and be the most important thing

i am of an age

when i walk the dog
and feel like a boy
when kissing a loved one
makes me feel new

i am of an an age
when i can appreciate you
in appreciation of being older
Ma Cherie May 2017
I love you with my heart
because I see you with my soul
to love you my best friend
my only single goal,

I love your soulful eyes,
they touch me deep within,
you love me as I'm perfect,
an erase the scars from skin,

I have never been touched the way
that you have touched me love,
I feel that if there is a God
he sent you from above,

Everything you say,
just draws me in some more,
I want you every minute,
an it never seems a bore,
you know that I will love you well
an it would never seem a chore,

You understand my mind
we are so much like the same,
I know that you have worries,
yes I know it's not a game,
but to miss two stars align,
it would really be a shame,

Please down the road we go,
until we're back again,
I do hope you will say,
I'll be more than just a friend,

Because the benefits and possibilities
are infinitely beautiful and endless..

Ma Cherie © 2017
Friends with "benefits"? I can't idk....heartbreaking really.
Since Blairmerica, jobseeker's frills ain't been allowed.
Plasma screen no opioid to the baying crowd.
Government's highclass callgirl with one ambrosial ***;
my own mother's milk was ******'s Nesquik,
but I always had nice pair of Nike Air Child Benefits.
The 3rd World War will be fought
instant they stop my Income Support.
The Union Jack won't be my blanket
on a green and pleasant embankment.
What exactly is it you want, John?

I only wish the benefits system loved me like I love it.

Tell Scameron & Tossbourne the effect of a green ounce
presages a fuel crisis on Joyseeker's Allow-ounce.
Smother your kids if they wanna grow up rich;
don't gedda wear plain pair of Air Max Tax Credits,
but being on the dole is cushty for the soul.
There's a K in the House of Lords if you
gimme a swig of your ****.
There's a P in the House of Lords if you
gimme a swig of your meths.
What exactly is it you want, John?

I only wish the benefits system loved me like I love it.

Marry me, we'll live in ****, Mrs.Iain Duncan Smith.
Marry me, twos on that spliff, Mrs. Iain Duncan Smith.
Marry me and our kids will aspire to ******* ****.
Marry me and for tea we will have broken biscuits.
Marry me, we will live like Smiths, Mrs. Iain Duncan ****.
Marry me, we'll live in ****.
Written about the last Tory government, but it's applicable to all Economic Social Darwinist administrations.
Matt Hews Dec 2016
Liberate your soul
And unshackle your mind.
You'll be amazed
At the beauty you shall find.
Lady Bird Dec 2016
all cards are on the table
nice concepts can get in the way
so beware the wild card  
friends with benefits
if only for a second; smile or frown
the muse of whatever wont stop
flipping choices will still sway
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