Minsan talaga hindi ko na alam
     kung bakit pa ako naghihintay
At kung ako naman ay lalaban
     para saan pa ba iaalay.

Minsan hindi ko na alam
     kung bakit pa ako umaasa
At kung titigil naman
     nangangapa ako ng rason para tumuloy pa.

Minsan hindi ko na rin alam
     kung bakit pa ako humihiling
At kung itatapon ko nalang
     hinahabol naman ako ng mga bituin.

Minsan hindi ko alam
     kung bakit nakakaya ko pang magbigay
At kung ako naman ay tatanggi
     hindi ko rin makita ang saysay.

Minsan hindi ko na alam
     kung bakit pa kita minamahal
At kung susubukan kong magdahilan
     naiisip ko pa ring sumugal.

Minsan hindi ko na rin alam
     kung bakit hindi pa ako sumusuko
At kung ihihinto na
     sarili ko rin lang ang aking niloloko.

Minsan hindi ko na talaga alam
     minsan hindi ko na mahanap ang kasagutan
Ngunit sana makahanap ako ng kasiguraduhan
     *kahit minsan lang.

Choosing you was a mistake
     but then
              you
made
         v
           e
             r
              y
                t
                  h
                     i
                       n
                          g
                                right.

If my heart's the data,
Then you're the mode,
The one that occupies it most.

You made me feel
Like it's summer
Everyday of the year.

Then I left you,
With the leaves and the colors,
But that became my fall.

And time skipped winter,
Time skipped spring,
*It was summer again after all.

Huminga ulit ako nang malalim
Pinipigilan kong pumatak ang aking mga luha
Binasa ko ang mga tulang sinulat ko noon
Binasa ko ang mga tulang nag-iwan ng bakas sa akin.

Wala na, pumatak na ang unang luha
Di ko na maalalang sinulatan kita
At na sa bawat salita ay naiisip ka
Nalimot ko na ang masasaya.

Pumatak ang pangalawa
At tuloy tuloy na ang pagbagsak ng tubig mula sa aking mata
Hindi dahil sa puro sakit at lungkot ang naiwan sa akin
Kundi dahil hindi ko maalalang minahal kita.

At habang binabasa ko ang mga linyang tumutugma
Nagugulo ang isip ko sa mga salitang naisulat pala
Masakit na wala na akong mabalikan
Wala akong alaala at hindi na mauulit ang nakaraan.

Mahirap ang makalimot
Ngunit alam kong mahirap pa ang malimutan
Mahirap ang...
Bakit ko ba sinusulat ito?

Loving you
Is like
Walking on
A bridge
With every
Piece of wood
Falling
After my
Every step;
There is no
Turning back.

I've packed many suitcases,
I'm too far from the start.

I've been in so many places
But never in your heart.

You told me not to be sad
When the rain starts pouring,
I should dance and enjoy
Under the rain.

So that's what I did,
Dancing to the beat of the taps
As the rain falls,
Remembering you.

But you were like the rain,
Just when I'm in the heights of my emotions,
Just when I was falling hard for you,
You stopped, left.

You left me cold and wet,
You know,
You could have been
The arms that wrapped me tight.

It's scary that one day,
*We might regret all of this.

In almost downfalls,
fled tragedies,
And in tired lifts,
decaying comedies
- a relief.

She looked at the fading view
          of the shore
               its golden sand
               its line of trees
               and the little movements      
               of the ocean trying to    
               reach it
She smiled and told herself
It is not what she wants anymore
This time it is no longer a lie.

All good things come to an end
The sakura blooms and leaves in a week
That's why there's a rare chance to see it's beauty
Just like there was just one chance for you and me
So sometimes I take comfort that our love was too good then
But I wish not all good things should come to an end.

I just want to say I love you one more time
You do not have to say your heart is still mine.

We picked the seashells on the shore,
You hear them whisper in your ears,
I always love to hear you share what they speak,
Their words with different voices,
I always thought you just pretend,
So I pretended to understand,
Now you are far
Beyond the horizon that we see
Whenever we watch the sun wake and sleep,
I picked a seashell on the shore
And hear it whisper in my ear,
I hear your voice saying I love you.

Sometimes I wish
That when a heart breaks
It comes with a very loud sound
Like the Twin Towers crashing
Or a ceremonial song
Banging your eardrums
You forget why your heart broke
In the first place

Instead
It comes with heavy sighs
And jittery knees
Silent tears like spring beneath the ground
Closed eyes or blinding lights
And blankets to cover it with
Silent and unfathomable
Making it even harder to face.

Today
everything
is standing
still
the sun
the sky
you on the other side
and I
still waiting
for you
still staying
for you
proving
you
don't have
to feel
the same.

summer
never truly loved her
she thought
kicking
the last soft waves
of the season
like they were
a pile of autumn
leaves

closed her eyes
from the sunrays
imagining
the oranges and pinks
of sunset
painted by the trees
answering to the
cold whispers
of the wind

winter
they call but still, summer
never truly loved her
she thought
but as the last soft waves
crash to her feet
the little bubbles
like the first fall
of snow

she thought
of the heavy footsteps of mud
and the snow-covered boots
on the porch
the subtle smell of pine
circling around
the divot on the couch
the bubbles from
soapy dishwater
waltzing in the kitchen
it means
you're home

and though summer
might not have truly loved her
it never took away
her metaphors
to describe what
love looks like
and love looks like
dry leaves scattered like
freckles on your cheeks
on the old cobblestones
we walk on
on Sunday mornings

it's like a pair
of warm socks,
hot cocoa and marshmallows,
and Christmas carols
it's waking up right where you belong
like blossoms greeting
the first sunlight
after months of snow
and it's summer
when the agony of waiting
under the scorching sun
learns to turn into

patience
love is these seasons
giving way to
years
and patterns
we will never get tired of
summer
might not have truly loved her
but she'd hoped that one day
you truly would
and
you did.

To you
I was never really fond of surprises
Then you came
The day I met you
I was glad to have found someone I get along with
That wasn’t the surprise
The surprise was when you first cheered my name
And how I wanted you to cheer me all the way
I wasn’t surprised when you walked me home
What surprised me was when I didn’t feel home when you walked away
So for many weeks or months
My heart jumps because of the surprise of you in everyday
So for many weeks or months
I wasn’t sure
And that’s not knew
I think I was never really certain of anything
Wait
I was never really certain of anything until there was you
And it’s funny how one I’m very sure of
Still surprises me
Like the night you tucked my hair behind my ear
Underneath the streetlamp
No brighter than you who have given light
In the past few months of chaos
Your eyes shined like they wanted to stay
It wasn’t surprising when you asked me if I like you, the next day
But I was surprised because, “I like you,” was all you wanted to say
The first time you said you love me
I wish I’ve said it before you did
I was pretty sure I’ve felt that way a long time ago
And it has been a while since those times
I couldn’t say it was a surprise when we ended
Neither was the fact that I didn’t want it too
It was amazing
How I waited for shooting stars and 11:11s
How I wanted to go back in time and make things better
How I tried to tell you and show you
That some things didn’t change
I still love you
I still love you
I couldn’t say it was a surprise when I stopped hearing that
But I was sure of what a surprise it is when you came back
You showed me what love is
In colors
Wrapped in silver and gold
When you looked at me
I saw what those stories told
In winks and glances
I am not letting go of any more chances
It was not a surprise that my heart still beats the same track
And I will replay over and over
That time you told me, “You’re not alone anymore,”
What a surprise that was right after all this time
When you hugged me
You picked up the pieces I thought were lost forever
You
Yes, you
I am not really fond of surprises
But you were the best yet.