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717 · Feb 2016
Impoverished Soldier
Cheyenne Feb 2016
His eyes are locked on you,
Daring you to flinch.
Everybody's starring,
But you cannot give an inch.
Everything you have--
Everything that matters--
Has  been melted down and made
Into your armor, now battered.
The fight for him is just for sport,
A way to gain some scraps of honor.
The fight for you is for a life--
Consequences far more dire.
You cannot turn and run,
There is no option of surrender.
The loss of souls or souls conserved
Won't be how victory is measured.
Neither choice would end this fight.
You're fighting everyday.
And ending confrontation
Won't take that fight away.
The odds are stacked against you,
You'll die before the fighting's done.
But you will stand your ground
Even if you're the only one.
For it wasn't choice that put you here
But rather unlucky birth.
And this fight will take your life
Even if that's not what it's worth.
708 · Apr 2016
Living with Myself
Cheyenne Apr 2016
I'm the one who must stare
At the image in the mirror--
See the stranger standing there.
I'm the one who must stick
Through the thick and thin of it--
Can't leap overboard when you're the ship.
Somehow I must get along;
I may be mad. I may be wrong.
Regardless, I must soldier on.

And you have choices. As do I.
We can judge the way I try,
Manipulate and justify.
Over there you can stand,
Chastise and reprimand.
On a high horse, wield command.
But when you trot away from this,
I'll still have to live with it.
No space in this relationship.

So I will twist and bend your facts.
Moral high ground: counteract.
Reshuffle so no longer stacked.
It's not from malice or a grudge
That I change the story for the judge--
You must believe: it is out of love.
A love for myself that I must maintain--
For you can always walk away,
But, good or bad, I must remain.
708 · May 2016
No More
Cheyenne May 2016
No more hurt
No more pain
No more thunder
No more rain
No more friends who will just leave
No more love and
No more me
2010
702 · Aug 2015
Storytellers
Cheyenne Aug 2015
Lost in the lullabies, stories told to sweeten
Life's sour aftertaste from which we all have weakened.
We are the storytellers, weaving webs of lore
Made to be our weight bearers when we can bear no more.
This world is just a story; This life: fictitious folly.
No rights.  No wrongs.  No this or that. Just tales to keep us jolly.
This was inspired by History professor Yuval Noah Harari — author of Sapiens: A Brief History of Mankind-- from his article entitled "why humans run the world" which I happened across on ideas.ted.com.

http://ideas.ted.com/why-humans-run-the-world/
681 · Feb 2016
Here Be Monsters
Cheyenne Feb 2016
A melancholy saunter, future fresh within its grave
Knowing that the darkness is something you must brave
The unknown is daunting, but beckons nonetheless
Ignoring all the wisdom that claims that it knows best

You've tried the paths well traveled, but they ended all the same
In heartbreak and ruin, and they say you are to blame
So sure of the destination that it's the only road they paved
But you can't find your happiness on the map they made

You're frightened and shaking and standing on the edge
You're facing the void and its uncharted depths
But you will run forward because you can't crawl back
And into the darkness you wander at last
Cheyenne Apr 2016
I'm sure they have reasons.
I'm sure they sound good.
And however they preach them,
They are understood.

But I see the damage,
And I feel the loss
Inflicted by faith and justice
And their noble cause.

And I stand on the rubble
Caused by their shaky ground.
All else has crumbled,
Why haven't they fallen down?

And I stand, not silenced,
But my screams are not heard.
They are drowned out amongst
The sound of their solemn word.

And their intent's not malicious,
I know they believe,
But this is the outcome
Of the the ideas they preach.

It's not enough not to mean it.
And a sorry won't do.
We're both fighting for something,
Why am I not right too?

If you are so sure that
Your cause is better than mine,
Then by all means continue,
And, to the damage, be blind.

Or claim the loss is worth
The future you're fighting for.
And that the ends will justify
All casualties of war.

But as you rally your soldiers
By any means,
Give a big speech,
Pull on their heart strings,

Remember that it's only one story;
It's only one side.
And if you silence me now
You'll never hear mine.
661 · Oct 2015
When It's Gone
Cheyenne Oct 2015
Being swept off my feet--taken by surprise.
It won't be the thrill, just the look in your eyes.
Spontaneous adventure, you have carefully planned.
It won't be the trip, just that moment hand in hand.
Pouring rain--a cliched kiss.
But when you're gone, that's not what I'll miss.

It'll be the pecks on my lips as we're hurried to leave.
The quite moments spent listening to you breathe.
The easy silence.
Effortless talk.
Meaningless laughter.
Aimless walks.

The grand gestures make it fun and wild--
But the little things make it all worth while.
If you ever grow wary--if we ever part--
It'll be losing the simple bits that will break my heart.
660 · Apr 2016
Macrocosm
Cheyenne Apr 2016
Sunlight leaks through the leaves.
Silence sways upon the breeze.
Life swarms amongst the trees.  
You stand, not moving, afraid to speak.
06/21/2010
658 · Jun 2016
Hiding
Cheyenne Jun 2016
Hiding from the monsters,
Somewhere in the dark.
Fighting my own instinct
Every time I start.

Too scared to move.
Too scared to cry.
I hide my body,
Soul, and mind.

My eyes start to adjust.
I stumble to the mirror;
Look upon the image
And see a monster there.
2010... sort of: highly altered from original version
648 · Sep 2015
Origin
Cheyenne Sep 2015
Mindless scribbles.
Endless riddles.
From the roots
I am whittled.

Good intentions.
Wrong directions.
Consequences:
Aforementioned.
622 · Sep 2016
I know, but...
Cheyenne Sep 2016
I know you're crazy.
I know I'm mad.
But I know that we're happy,
So is it so bad?

I know that it's wrong,
I know that you warned me.
But I know that I like it,
So is truly abhorring?

I know there are limits.
I know there's a line.
But I know that I crossed it,
And I'm doing fine.
615 · Jan 2015
Restless Nights
Cheyenne Jan 2015
I am unaware of the time right now,
I haven't got a clue.
The sun is gone.
The night is black.
And all I can think is you.

Usually the night time
is time for my escape;
time for me to slip to sleep
and dream of better things.

But lately I've been hesitant
to lay myself to bed
for I can't get thoughts of you
to stop spinning 'round my head.

I cannot fall into sleep
once switching off my light
for thoughts of you
and what we were
keep me up all night.

Until exhaustion finally pulls me
into long awaited sleep
where I wander aimlessly
through memories that I keep.

And, though I want it badly,
I know my rest can't last
for nightmares quickly drown me
in memories from our past.

Once again I am awake,
stirred restless by my mind.
I count sheep, not to sleep,
but to simply pass the time.

I am unaware of the time right now,
I haven't got a clue.
The stars have gone.
The sun is bright.
And all I can think is you.
601 · Sep 2016
Left
Cheyenne Sep 2016
You never showed
You let me go
You had to pick
I wasn’t it
Can’t live two lives?
Why not mine?
07/14/10
601 · Apr 2016
Interpret as You Will (10W)
Cheyenne Apr 2016
Sometimes when there's nothing
It's better than when there's not.
07/19/09
599 · May 2015
Bit by Bit
Cheyenne May 2015
Just another day.
Just another break.
Just another moment
that my heart couldn't take.
04/08/2010
596 · Mar 2016
Meeting Myself
Cheyenne Mar 2016
I never did fit very well;
Don't ask me why, it's hard to tell.
Actually, that was a lie.
I could explain the reasons why...
But the story's very long
And I tend to go on and on,
Over explaining everything,
The cause and effect each aspect brings.
And so long will my tale get
That you'd probably miss the point of it.
But at the end of the day, all said and done
I wasn't liked by anyone.
Okay, I have a tendency
To speak in hyperboles:
Perhaps a few didn't mind
My presence from time to time.
But overall, in the grand scheme,
I wasn't a favorite amongst the team.
A little strange. A little odd.
Introversion my great flaw.
Or at least I believed
That the problem laid in me.
But only now that I have gone
Have I thought that, maybe, everyone was wrong.
587 · Oct 2015
Mort
Cheyenne Oct 2015
Quantified to the last--
Every freckle, each fluttering lash.

To the debt of necessity I am tethered;
I can't afford life's priceless treasures.

Calculated: now are numbered
Even that which philosophy wonders.

My love, my life, my ambivalent faith:
Measured out to the hundredths place.

Reproduced for mass consumption--
Trivialized by the deduction.

Weigh my heart, buy my soul,
Celebrate the dream you stole.
584 · Apr 2015
One Amongst the Millions
Cheyenne Apr 2015
One amongst the millions
staring into oblivion.
I stand amongst the world and yet
I stand alone; alone except--
except for all the cells in me
that quiver with anxiety.
From afar I'm just standing there--
seemingly unaware.
But I can feel everything:
the love, the hate and all it brings.
But I'm just another in the crowd;
You won't hear when I cry out.
So I'll keep it all in my mind
and hope I make it out alive.
566 · Nov 2016
Catching Up
Cheyenne Nov 2016
If we run
If we run
Then we might make it in time
If we're late we'll be forgiven
But if we miss it that's all right
Because tomorrow is another day
And at least today we tried
So won't you run
Won't you run
Won't you run with me tonight
557 · Feb 2016
Even Now
Cheyenne Feb 2016
Destroyed. Distraught.
I've cried. A lot.
You're fine. I'm not.
556 · Feb 2016
What's in a Name
Cheyenne Feb 2016
A Rose by any other name is said to still retain its scent:
A sweet perfume that fills the room to all of our content.
And though this little musing contains poetic form,
When truth is told, I am not sold, for I know there to be thorns.
And if known instead for these pricking fiends
--and not its aromatic petals--
Then perhaps the rose would not be love's flowered vessel.
And the fragrant sweetness we attribute to its structure
Would cease to be a welcomed whiff and the Rose would lose its luster.
545 · Jul 2015
Luke
Cheyenne Jul 2015
He cut his hair
and changed his clothes.
Suddenly, stuck up his nose.
Some of us weren't good enough,
so he went to do other stuff.
Thinking that'd we'd still be friends
I paid no mind to these trends.
Next thing I know
he won't say, "hi."
Apparently he's said, "goodbye."
03/03/2010
An old poem about an old friend that lost me
544 · Jul 2015
I Am Not
Cheyenne Jul 2015
I do not have the answers that you seek.
I am not strong; I am weak.
I am not who you are looking for.
If I was, I am no more.
2010 (analecta 2011)
531 · Apr 2016
Better Luck to You
Cheyenne Apr 2016
I look around;
I know this place
Lost in a gaze
Upon your face.
Your lips,
Your soul:
Secrets untold.
In your eyes
Shine brilliant lies.
On your cheeks
Is where you keep
The tears you've wept:
Promises unkept.
I know this pain.
I know this war.
I have lived it all before.
And looking now upon your heart
I see it ripping you apart.

But I cannot help--
Can't offer solace.
Can't reassure you'll escape flawless.
For all my battles,
All lines crossed,
This is the war that I lost.
05/06/2010
521 · Feb 2021
Sea Glass
Cheyenne Feb 2021
Shattered
broken to bits
I tried to clean up
but I sliced my skin

Scattered
into the fray
I pushed them out
'til they all washed away

Weathered
time's funny like that
the edges have softened
and the waves washed them back

Remembered
as I walk along
colorful and harmless
pressed to my palm
515 · Jan 2015
Just One More Day
Cheyenne Jan 2015
Just one more day
and all pain will end.
Just wait until morning,
it'll be better then.

I wake up to find
that the clouds are all gray,
but I still have hope
that it'll be better today.

I pack up my things,
but they fall to the floor.
Still, I am hopeful;
Let's just get out the door.

I sit in the back.
I stay out of the way.
Smile as people pass,
but no one looks my way.

Alas it is silent.
I'm ignored, no surprise.
I walk home lonely
with tears in my eyes.

I run to my bedroom.
I close the door.
I whisper in my head:
just one second more.

Just one more day
and all pain will end.
Just wait until morning,
it'll be better then.
506 · Jul 2015
Haunted
Cheyenne Jul 2015
I just want to let go
And forget about you.
But those kinds of things aren't easy to do.
When you meant so much
And then hurt me so bad,
I just want to let you go,
But I can't forget about that.
You're everywhere.
You won't let me be.
You're physically gone,
But you're haunting my dreams.
2010
502 · Sep 2015
First Impressions
Cheyenne Sep 2015
What pretty words you've sewn together.
What a lovely, fabricated masterpiece they create.
What a wondrous story, once cut and trimmed and edited,
This will someday make.

And when you've finished all the detailing,
May you let it lie here on the floor;
Perhaps somewhere in the foyer
To greet strangers at the door.
501 · Dec 2017
Better One of Two
Cheyenne Dec 2017
It feels like maybe I'm not best for you
I keep getting the best of you
I know you've been thinkin' it's time to get on and move
You're worried about me--that's sweet--I'm worried too
But sometimes you've got to do
What's best for you
500 · Feb 2016
Awkwardly Waiting
Cheyenne Feb 2016
The subtle buzz of recognition,
High pitched squeak of a hello.
The gentle hum of conversation,
Small talk with friends you barely know.

A small acquaintance fills the silence,
Keeps you from fiddling on your phone.
But it breeds only temporary compliance,
And I would rather sit alone.
Cheyenne Jan 2023
Listening to the steady rush
As winds blow in an evening hush
Hoping that it ushers in the rain

This place could use some moisture and
I could use a helping hand
In letting nostalgia lay its claim
489 · Jan 2015
Forever
Cheyenne Jan 2015
I sit on my bed
and just stare at the floor.
A car passes in the distance
but I hear nothing more.
My breathing is shallow--
my heart barely beats;
I dig in my mind
for the memories I keep.
Flashes of you
and what we once were
cross my thoughts
in heartbreaking blurs.
I remember us laughing
and talking
and planning:
Planning a future
that's no longer happening.
Forever, we promised,
but we were naive--
We had no concept
of what forever could mean.
For forever's
not measured:
It's no length of time.
It starts with "hello"
and ends with "goodbye."
Sometimes it's years.
And sometimes it's seconds.
We promised forever
and I know that I meant it.
Because I'll always remember
what we use to be:
what I said to you,
what you said to me.
Years from the moment
that you walked away
I'll still remember
the sorrow and pain.
I'll always remember
you and me together
because it changed me forever.
But I wish that it didn't
because you're so indifferent.
It's as though, for you,
we never made a commitment.
When I couldn't give you
what someone else could,
you walked out of my life
and you walked out for good.
Didn't ask for some space.
Didn't say, "hey," in the hall.
Just walked right on out
like I meant nothing at all.
So you couldn't have meant it
when you promised forever.
You treat me as though
we were never together.
And this hurts me so much--
I can't even describe
how my gut clenches and twists
when you’re on my mind.
Because I gave you a forever.
A forever I can't get back.
Because I died that day
that you left me like that.
I morphed and I changed
into somebody new;
From the ashes of us
a new person grew.
You took a forever
because I’ll never be
the person I was
before you hurt me.
And all the memories
that we made together
are tainted
and haunted
and will be forever.
482 · Mar 2021
Never Gone
Cheyenne Mar 2021
It's in those slow and lazy moments
Spent inside my head
Scavenging for dopamine
That I find you instead

Scattered into tiny bits
Stashed deep within my mind
The pieces lay from yesterday
As if left for me to find
472 · Jan 2015
Lost
Cheyenne Jan 2015
I don't want to live a lie,
but I don't know what the truth is.
I don't want to die tonight,
but I don't know how to live through this.
A reflection of how our old selves die when our world changes on us
463 · Apr 2016
Bored
Cheyenne Apr 2016
Boredom comes, consumes your mind.
You slowly watch the passing time.
You wonder if it’ll ever end,
Even though it just began.
04/23/2010
463 · Jun 2016
You Didn't Know
Cheyenne Jun 2016
I know we were young;
We were naive.
But you told me you loved me,
And so I believed.

I know we grew older;
We learned to know better.
But you once thought that you loved me,
And I still remember.

I know it was false.
We weren't pieces that fit.
But you believed that you loved me,
And you should have treated me like it.
460 · Oct 2015
Happy In Our Own Way
Cheyenne Oct 2015
Mama's in the kitchen;
Father doesn't listen.
Knocking on your bedroom door.
Brother's in the driveway;
He never wants to stay.
You don't come home anymore.
Somewhere in the middle,
I am left to fiddle
With the pieces left on the floor.
457 · Jun 2015
Until Then
Cheyenne Jun 2015
Sorry mom but I have to leave.
There’s still so much I need to see.
But don’t you go worrying about me
‘cause I’m the strong woman you raised me to be.

But I’ll be home and see you again.
So this isn’t a "goodbye" but an "until then."

Sorry dad but I have to go.
There’s still so much that I don’t know,
And cannot learn until I’m on my own.
I’ll send you postcards from the road.

But I’ll be home and see you again.
So this isn’t a "goodbye" but an "until then."

Sorry friends but I’m on my way.
There are too many reasons not to stay.
I’m off in search of reasons to change.
I hope you all might do the same.

But I’ll be home and see you again.
So this isn’t a "goodbye" but an "until then."
449 · Apr 2016
Fooled [10W]
Cheyenne Apr 2016
If love is for fools,
I want to be foolish.
447 · Apr 2016
Here In My Heart
Cheyenne Apr 2016
You are the sun.
I am a star.
One in the same,
But we're too far apart.
Instead I'll just keep you
Here in my heart.

Here in my heart;
Here in my soul--
All of the parts
No one else knows.
I wish I could love you,
Have you to hold.

Have you to hold
And cherish and spoil.
Together grow old
Through all of life's toils.
But best laid plans
Are made to be foiled.

Are made to be foiled
And change, come undone.
Though my passion for you
Is second to none,
You shine best on your own, for
You are the sun.

You are the sun.
I am a star.
One in the same,
But we're too far apart.
Instead I'll just keep you
Here in my heart.
447 · Jan 2020
Bullshit Declarations
Cheyenne Jan 2020
You profess to know me.
You profess to love me, too.
But you've never put in the time for either,
So I profess that neither's true.
442 · Sep 2016
Joke's on Me
Cheyenne Sep 2016
Still a mess
So I guess
You knew best
When you left
438 · Jan 2015
Let Me Sleep
Cheyenne Jan 2015
Bring me down
into sleep.
I need it now
so drag me deep.
I'm ready for
the dreams it'll bring.
I need to hear
its soft voice sing.
I need to feel
forgetfulness
within my mind
of uselessness.
Let it take me
forever more.
Let it cure
these aching sores.
Let me stay
within its waves
and feel its urgent,
violent craves.
I need to leave
this world tonight
and slip into
this sleep of mine.
Let me hope.
Let me dream.
All I ask is
let me sleep.
Cheyenne Mar 2016
You stand in the darkness of the shadow cast
By the bright light of the future as it collides with the past.
You can't peek around to determine the source--
And here in the present they define your course.
424 · Sep 2015
Divine Intervention
Cheyenne Sep 2015
I never know where I'm going.
Not sure what I might say.
I wander through this world of rhyme
And somehow find my way.

It's no wonder many claimed
That muses gave them song,
For, after knowing my own methods,
How could I claim they're wrong?

Not every line is perfect.
Some verses need something more.
But each piece speaks to who I am--
What else could I ask for?
410 · Jul 2018
Festering
Cheyenne Jul 2018
I see the madness
Festering inside
I watch it unfolding
From where I reside
Not quite within
But not without
Just barely and torridly
Floating about

If I remain here
I'll be eaten alive
But if I flee
It'll eat me up inside
401 · Jun 2018
Paranoia
Cheyenne Jun 2018
I don’t want to have this conversation
I don’t want to feel this pain
I don’t want to think about it
But I do, all the same

It's floating near the surface
Always just within my reach
And I’m slipping—nearly drowning
'Cause I’ll probably never breach

I let it consume me
Every single time
Because, as you have shown me,
I have a past where it wasn’t all in my mind
398 · Mar 2015
Perspective
Cheyenne Mar 2015
Thought I might go to the moon;
Give myself some space.
Pass away the afternoon
far away from this place.
And if I like it better there
it'd be no surprise to me.
I never did fit in much here;
Maybe it's time to leave.
397 · Nov 2017
Time to Go
Cheyenne Nov 2017
This is my
This is my
Nightmare
This is your
This is your
Dream
We're not seeing eye to eye
I think it's time to say goodbye
Just need to figure out how to leave
394 · Nov 2019
Lingering Insecurities
Cheyenne Nov 2019
Every time I swear I'm over it,
Something reminds me
I ain't over ****.
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