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Vale Luna Feb 2018
(read forward, then backward, line by line)

I ran.
Not knowing what else to do
There was so much blood on my hands
It was mine
The kitchen knife
Caught in my chest
Guilt
Consumed by
Fear
I was heightened by
Adrenaline
But running on
Wasn’t enough
While trying to stay calm,
Losing control
It was me that would end up
Dead. Because
He was
In front of me
The whole time
It was too late
Trapped
I found myself
Locked in chains
My fate was
Death.
Forward: from the victims perspective.
Backward: from the murderers perspective.

This TOOK ME FOREVER TO WRITE
Vale Luna Jul 18
What am I supposed to do
with the thoughts inside my head
if not to speak them?
But who do I have
to speak them to?
(I wonder)
Who do I have to talk to but myself?
So my mind thinks the words
            and speaks the words
                    and hears the words
and thinks the words
            and speaks the words
                    and hears the words
and thinks the words
            and speaks the words
                    and hears the words
And over,
        and over,
              and over...
Until the words
don't sound like words anymore.
Vale Luna May 2017
I'm tired of you
Spittin back the words that I've spoken
Cuz you walk around
Priding yourself
On the fact that you're broken

You claim:
“I was ****** by society”
So you go and start rioting
Like the world is your enemy
But that **** is all hypocrisy
So honestly
Don't try to be
Someone who causes me anxiety

                    But still.  

You flaunt around
And try to tell me what I'm worth
While simultaneously
You argue that you were ****** up at birth
Like your stupid mistakes
Are supposed to cause me heartbreak
But I've run out of sympathy
For your idiocy
Cuz all it really does now
Is drive me ******* crazy
Your honorable moments
Beginning to seem hazy

                        You need help.

It's hard to remember a moment
When you weren't
Whining
Crying
Or saying that you wished you were dying
While I'm sitting here
Trying
To see if you're really suicidal
Or if you're constantly lying

                   You need to stop.

Slow down
Cuz *******
I won't be around
To catch you when you fall again
Though, there was a time
When I was your friend
But my times have changed
When you started acting deranged
Expecting me not to turn on you
After all the **** you put me through

                     I can't do it any longer.

So ask me
“Do you love me anymore?”
And I'd pause for a sec.
Like I wasn't sure
But the truth is
Since the day you put us toe to toe
My honest answer
Would have to be
No.
What it feels like to be me...
Vale Luna May 2017
All poets
Are in love with the moon
Romanticizing the mystery of outerspace
On a cold, lonely eve
To look up at the night sky
And sigh
At the glimmer of friendship
The sliver of hope
The reflection of love
Hanging next to the stars

Sometimes, I sigh
Remembering
The moon is nothing but a rock
Stuck in orbit
Stealing a poet's love.
A lot of poetry (including my own) is written about the moon or outerspace.

P.S. THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE OFFENDING TO ANYONE WHO WRITES ABOUT THE MOON! (I do it a lot)

Just some depressing thoughts...
Vale Luna Sep 2017
I was a rose
Turned black with decay
Until my petals fell to the dirt
And I stood naked
In front of your audience

I was a rose
Watered with vinegar
Fed with cyanide
Loved by your ego
And broken by your hands

I was a rose
Torn from the roots
Cut off at the stem
Dead before I was alive
And rotten before I was ripe

I was a rose
Stabbed by my own thorns
Bleeding from the inside
Draining my crimson color
Into your palms

I was your rose
Painted black by your lips
Brushed to dark perfection
My expiration date long passed
As you sniffed my last breath away.

I was your rose.
Vale Luna Jan 2019
When you have someone asking you
If you feel suicidal
Eight times a day
You start to feel like maybe you should be
Otherwise…
They would have let you go by now

You blink.
And notice
There are no clocks on the walls
Making you painfully aware
That the ticking sound is just in your head
Trying to cope
Without the security of time

They tell you you have to feel better
Before you can go home
But you have to be home
In order to feel better
You know that.
But you start to wonder
If they’ll ever figure it out

It occurs to you
That this group of strangers
Are now in control of your life
They could lock the door for months
Isolate you from all you know
And tell you it’s for your own safety

You are stuck.

The lights in the hallway flicker
Like the programmed beginning
Of a horror movie
You blink.
And another set of lanyards and clipboards
Are standing in front of you
Asking if you feel like hurting yourself
Or someone else today

No.

It’s getting harder to tell the truth
And the other patients;
Vociferously desperate around you
Are the most intense form of peer pressure

Seconds feel like hours
And days like years
You blink.
And the frustration of keeping your sanity
Drips from your eyes
Your own tears used as evidence
For the lie they want you to admit

Your eyelids droop
Heavy with the exhaustion
Of keeping a sound mind

Either way
You know it’s only a matter of time
Before you blink again.
Based on my time in the hospital...
Vale Luna May 2017
Ignorance is bliss
A shoot and a miss
Stuck in the abyss
The pain caused by this
To forget our last kiss

Needle in my skin
Put the chemical in
To forget where I've been
And let it begin
Making memories thin

It burns in my veins
But it's worth the pain
To forget your name
Stained in my brain
And stop the self-blame

Agony is dead
You're not in my head
To fill me with dread
Forget what you said
When you slept in my bed

Feeling the new high
And forgetting why
I wanted to die
Or bothered to cry
Or said my good-byes

I shoot but don't miss
Not in the abyss
No pain caused by this
Forgotten last kiss
Ignorance is bliss.
Vale Luna Jul 30
I have always been
too aware of the moon

Weeping because we will never
be closer together
Worshipping the ground
her light walks on
Worrying that her crescent’s point
will stab me in the back

I have never been
good with relationships.
Just got a new diagnosis a few days ago,,,,,,
think I'll make a series
Vale Luna Jun 2017
It feels like I'm drowning
Maybe that's just because
I'm downing
Ten shots of ******
An hour
The power
Of comparison
To what I used to be
Straight.
Addict free
Every ounce of purity
Now stained
By an unclean bloodstream
So I'm far underwater
Committing my own manslaughter

Sinking
With every breath
Inhaling death
Free from thinking
It may be true that I'm dying
Supplying
My own toxins
Lacking proper caution
All this to avoid crying
Maybe it's wrong
But ******* it feels right
A fall with no flight
Clenched fists
With no fight

Because I can still breathe
When I'm drowning
And being underneath
The fluids
Is just as natural
And seemingly gradual
As a heart that's still beating
All my regrets retreating
The pain quickly fleeting
So I shoot up again…

And then just keep on repeating.
Vale Luna May 2017
How can anyone love me

When I don't love myself?
Vale Luna Jun 2017
I
       b
          u
             r
                y
My sorrows
In
Out-of-date
                Prescription
                Pills.
Thanks Ed Sheeran.
Vale Luna May 2017
I would tell you to stop
But baby, I want you tonight
I would tell you it's wrong
But *******, it feels so right

I would tell you no
But baby, all I whimper is yes
I would say I don't want it
But my legs grant you access

I would push you away
But baby, I won't put up a fight
I would tell you to be gentle
But I want you to **** me tonight.
Vale Luna May 2017
I can't help but think
That you'd love me more
If I was dead
Haunted by my memory
And all the things
You should have said

Maybe if I was gone
You'd think
Of everything we didn't do
Maybe if I was buried
You'd finally admit
You love me too.
Vale Luna May 2018
When I see you
I get caterpillars in my stomach
Not grown enough to be butterflies
But alive enough
    To make me feel sick

The constant crawling
A thousand tiny legs
Scurrying up my esophagus
Ready to throw up
A feeling too real to ignore
And too nauseating to admit

So when I see you again
I’ll just keep my mouth shut
Live with the taste of dirt on my tongue
And swallow the caterpillars
   That live in my stomach.
Vale Luna May 2017
Uneasiness
And insecurity
Because maybe he won't like
The way I move my mouth

But when my lips
Officially greet his
For the first time
I forget why I was anxious
Or why I popped 16 mints
Or put on an extra coat of Chapstick
Because I can taste him

I can taste another human being
But it isn't classified as cannibalism
Because I'm not eating them
Simply tasting
A delicious mixture
Of love and lust
But really
What's the difference?

There's a tongue between my lips
Not mine
******* my mouth
Choking me
… In that **** kinda way

Part of someone else
Is inside me
Interlocking body parts
Exchanging saliva
A cringe worthy thought
Simultaneously turning me on

Maybe I'm a good kisser
But how am I to tell?
I know he's a good kisser
I know
Because he makes me moan
He makes me hungry for more
Or maybe
I'm just easy like that

Our teeth clash
But I don't bite
Although
Sometimes
I chew on his lower lip
It still
Doesn't classify as cannibalism.
The science behind kissing really isn't cannibalism.

Based off my first kiss!
Vale Luna Jul 2017
It took me years
To build myself
Molding my shape
With ***** fingerprints
And a dull butter knife
Smoothing out
Every rough edge

I spent my lifetime
Crafting this delicate clay
Into something
That didn't hurt my eyes
And when I was done
I baked it solid
Roasted
Into a sturdy piece
Of breathing art

And then you came along

You begged
To get close to me
Close enough
To see me
Close enough
To touch me
So I let you
Carefully - of course
Until seemingly
Your soft hands
Were gentle enough
To hold me

But as time passed
You became a bit more…
Careless
Careless
So every time
You picked me up
Part of me was left cracked
Before you set me back down
And your hands
Seemed to bring more hurt
Than comfort

I began to resent you
But I didn't dare say it
Because I was sitting
In nostalgia
Remembering the days
When I really was
A work of art
In your eyes

And yet, eventually
Your carelessness
Rotted to recklessness
Until one day
You dropped me -
The slivers
Of my little clay heart
Scattered on the floor

Despite your best efforts
It wasn't enough
Not even
All the King’s horses
And all the King's men
Could put me back
Together again
I was hopeless
And the fragments
You tried to glue back
Were worthless

What am I now?
Art? No
I'm just a sad lump
Of clay shards and glue
Disfigured beyond belief
An eye-sore
For anyone who looks at me

I wish I could say
That my shattering
Was entirely your fault
But I blame myself
For ever letting you
Get close enough
To touch me.
Vale Luna May 2017
(a.k.a. What You Must Have Been Thinking)

“Let's make confetti
With your little paper heart!
Smaller and smaller
Until there's nothing left to split apart.”

“Let's make confetti
And throw your feelings up in the air!
Shred it down to scraps
Until there's nothing left to tear.”

“Let's make confetti
With your diminished, pathetic soul!
Ripping up your spirit
Until we've left nothing whole.”

“Let's make confetti
With your miniscule emotions!
Leave them completely trashed
Until there's nothing left to be broken.”

“Let's make confetti
With your fragile paper heart
Punctured and torn
So your love can never restart.”
Vale Luna May 2017
Our bodies are puzzle pieces:

You fit perfectly
Inside me.
Vale Luna Jun 2017
...        
           heart             many
     has         My / Too       times
           been                      to
                 bro-          cou-
                      ken / nt.
My first attempt at a shape poem!!!
Vale Luna May 2017
We left footsteps on the moon together
An imprint of our souls
Stamped in immovable ink

But our walk was short lived
Because you got tired of stumbling
Stum - bi - ling
Over the pebbles
That blocked our steps

I tried to remind you
That every step we took
Was history
But history meant
Less
          and
                   less
The more there was to look back upon

It wasn't enough anymore
So you ran
Before we could continue walking together
And new craters consumed you
Before I could catch up

When you were long buried
I tried to collect the essence of our prints
But the moment I touched them
They unraveled to dust
Erasing what should have remained
Forever

So each time I reached
Each time I grasped for us
Our history became
Less
          and
                   less
Until there was nothing left to look back upon

Not like you would have turned around anyway
Because you were too busy
Creating new craters
With new others
To see the pieces of soul we left behind

Maybe it meant nothing to you
But I still keep a handful of dust
In the bottom of my pocket
To remind me of the way
We left footsteps on the moon together
Footsteps that vanished
Into nothing but dry particles

Dust
For someone else to walk on.
Vale Luna Jun 2017
My dear unborn child,
                 I never want you
                 To feel excluded

                 I never want you
                 To believe you're ugly
                 Just because you look different
                 From the other kids

My dear unborn child,
                 I never want you
                 To feel emotional pain

                 I never want you
                 To be ruthlessly bullied
                 Or be called a freak
                 Or a ******

My dear unborn child,
                 I never want you
                 To experience heartbreak

                 I never want you
                 To fall in love with someone
                 Who can't love you back
                 Or treasure your true beauty

My dear unborn child,
                 I never want you
                 To develop a mental illness

                 I never want you
                 To sink into depression
                 To the point where
                 You suffocate
                 And wish I had left you
                 Unborn.

My dear unborn child,
                 I never want you to hurt
                 I never want you to suffer
                 I never want you to end up
                 Like me.

My dear unborn child,
                 Because I love you
                 I have decided to spare you
                 I have decided to grant you
                 Your unspoken wish
                 I have decided to leave you
                 Unborn, forever.
My experiences have told me never to bring children into this world. The earth is too cruel. I don't want anyone else to suffer.
Vale Luna May 2017
Friendship
          is the love of personality.

Attraction
          is the love of body.

Love
          is when Friendship meets Attraction
Vale Luna May 2018
A love so fragile
That it hurts when I breathe
Shattered memories
Swept by the breeze

A love so scrambled
That it leaves me confused
My heart’s been abused
Black and blue bruised

A love so tangled
That it ends up in knots
A tied-up blood clot
Starting to rot

A love so unraveled
That it loses control
A physical toll
Burnt on my soul

A love so fragile
That is breaks when I try
Starting to know why
I do nothing but cry.
Vale Luna Jun 2017
I'll share my poetry

With anyone
Who will understand it.
Poets need poets.
Vale Luna Jun 2018
I’m barely keeping my head above water

Other people
Made it look so easy
To backstroke through their days
With nothing to worry about
Except pruny fingertips
And what swimsuit to wear

It looked easy

Only after I jumped in
Did I realize that
I wasn’t born to swim
I wasn’t born with the ability to float
I wasn’t born with the talent to tread

Maybe I’m just dense

With a brain full of blanks
And a stomach full of stones
I’m guaranteed lungs full of liquid
To drag me down
To make every moment a living hell

I was born to sink

I often think of quitting
Letting the ocean consume me
Swallow me whole
As the waves seem to be
The only things
That ever wanted me

I’m barely keeping my head below water.
Vale Luna Jul 2017
We cried
when you were diagnosed

She cried
when you stopped eating

He cried
when you cut yourself

They cried
when you ran away

You cried
when you lost your home

I cried
when you lost yourself.
Vale Luna May 2017
To reassure me
You utter softly
                    "Just think of me
                     As a cookie
                     You've been dying to eat
"
...
I'm nervous
My hands are shaking
When I place them on your knees

Sure
I've tasted hard lollipops before
And they were easy to take in my mouth
As my lips formed around them.

But I've never had a sugar cookie
Quite like this before
With a goddess
Quite like you

Your voice is calm
Collected
But weighed down
Over the sound of my panting
As your fingers tangle in my hair
                    "Relax"

My body twitches with excitement
Anxiety
Because I want to please you
But I don't know how

I lean forward anyway
And lick away some of the frosting
You moan
And I know you taste sweeter than ever.
Vale Luna Jun 2017
Wish
you
were
dead?

Or

Wish
the
pain
would
stop?
They are very different things.
Vale Luna Jun 2017
When you get down
On your knees in front of me
I panic:
                 “Please don't.

I'm so used to
  Being the one to kneel
  Being your submissive
  Being the one
To caress your sensitive sugar cookie
With the tip of my tongue
Just not the other way around:
                 “Stop.

I'm scared
Because what if
You don't like the way I taste
What if
I'm not sweet enough for you
The thought
Burns up my insides:
                 “please don't…

But when you plant
A candy coated kiss
On my quivering
Inner thigh
I can feel myself
Dripping
My frosting
Creating a damp oval
On the bed spread
A gentle moan escapes my lips:
                 “stop…

Yet
Your body is hungry
And my words
Only make your stomach growl

So you lean forward anyway
And kiss away at the sugar
My tension growing:
                 “Please don't. Stop.
Dripping and melting
Into a pleading whimper
                 “Please don't stop.

Evidently
I seem to be sweet enough for you.
Just thought I'd have a little fun and write a sequel to ***** Sweets (for those of you who are a fan of that poem) :D
Vale Luna Oct 2017
Brick by brick
Stone by stone
Screaming out
Shattered tones

Fleeting life
Wanting death
****** up dirt
Shooting ****

Vacant hole
Ill spirit
Emptiness
Puking ****

Crumbling veins
Spilling red
Broken blood
Damning dead

Darkest day
Blackest night
Drowning black
Losing light

Tempting fate
Inner itch
Hearts will freeze
Blood will twitch

Bruising cracks
Inside bones
Brick by brick
Stone by stone.
Vale Luna Jul 2017
I can't tell if you're talented at this
Or if I'm just
Easy like that
Because every move you make
Drives me crazier
Than the last.
Vale Luna May 2017
*** is an equation
                              it seems
And I'm your calculator

Because when I'm with you
You know all the right buttons
                                                to push
                   All the right combinations
                                                to plug in
To make me your hand-held
                                                property

Your relentless fingers
                     Unpausing
                                Pitiless
                                       Unremitting
Lacking every sense of the word
                                                  "Mercy"

Despite my begging
My programming goes against me
And I'm forced
                     to spit out the answer
That you request

So because of your brutality
It's easier to lie
                        to myself
To lie and say
That I don't want
                          to keep making equations with you
Vale Luna Aug 2017
Maintain a distance
Of at least three feet
Cuz a close encounter
Is more bitter than sweet

Just one step too close
And she's inside your head
Just one step too close
And soon you'll be dead

She'll make you believe
That she can help you
That whatever you want
Is what she wants too

But once she's inside
Her wicked voice rings
By then, you're enslaved
To do her bidding

Her thoughts are inhuman
She doesn't feel pain
She's clearly unmatched
When it comes to the brain

But please don't be tricked
By her dark mind games
What she's trying to do
Is drive you insane

Who is she, you ask?
She's the east wind that blows
Well haven't you guessed?
Her name is Eurus.
For all the BBC Sherlock fans!
Vale Luna May 2017
Downside up
In relevant confusion
Awakening in a slanted dream
It seems
Everything rhymes with orange
And you love me
SIDEWAYS EIGHT
More times than I love you

Broken mirrors
Are nothing but good luck
Four leaf clovers
And run for the hills
It seems
Everything rhymes with month
And I love you
Just not in that way
So you COLON, OPEN PARENTHESES
More than me

The moon's intense heat
Lights the day
While rain falls
From the grass to the clouds
It seems
Everything rhymes with wolf
And when I rejected you
You COLON, APOSTROPHE, OPEN PARENTHESESED
A little

Spiders are mans best friend
Children sleep with darkeners
In fear of light
And fairytale princesses
It seems
Everything rhymes with purple
And I feel sorry
That you love me
Leaving me with a COLON, SLASH

The stars are my only enemy
Crying at night brings me joy
And I cut myself
Because I desperately want to live
It seems
Everything rhymes with rhythm
And it's my fault
That your LESS THAN SIGN, SLASH, THREE



Sleeping into reality
Falling out of mirages
With a
DASH, UNDERSCORE, DASH
Look on my face
It seems
Nothing rhymes with orange.
If your too lazy to figure it out lol:
infinity
:(
:'(
</3
:/
-_-
Vale Luna Oct 2017
For you
           I
                   f
                    e
                      l
                        l

L    o    n     g
And hard

But for some reason

I wasn’t expecting
To be
              b       o       e
                   r       k      n

When the
                    f
                      a
                        l
                          l
                            i
                             n
                               g
Was over
And I
           hit
The ground.
Vale Luna Jun 2017
Wanting, crying
Pleasure dying
Always sighing
Never finding
What is seeked
Or sought
Or sworn
Or the pain
Constantly borne

Weeping longer
Crying harder
Distant hoarder
Desperate torture
Of all things
Through battle
Through war
What is lost
Is lost too sore

Sin in darkness
Far from restless
Burning weakness
Truly lifeless
Death that walks
Life in
Dirt ground
Darkened earth
Not safe nor sound

Quickly fleeting
Love depleting
Always bleeding
Never meeting
Ones we love
And friends
Left to hate
Heavy heart
Cuz this is fate.
A very random, abstract poem
Vale Luna Jun 2017
The scariest part about Love

Is that Loss always follows.
#10w
Vale Luna May 2017
"Fifty Shades of Grey" has plagued my life
With the expectation
That to be ******
Is to be loved.

The perfect treachery for a teenage girl

Falling in love with the idea
That pain is pleasure
So the more it hurts
The better the ******

The perfect deception for a teenage girl

So now I wait for him to have me
While he leaves fifty shades of purple
Across my face
Although
I still have my virginity…

The perfect teenage girl for a trap.
I wrote this for a friend, not me.
Vale Luna May 2017
A cut between legs?!
Panic at the sight of red

Older girls just laugh.
Vale Luna Aug 2017
Silent lunch alone in a room full of people
Stringy spaghetti
Quiet lunch with a cute boy across the table
Bubbling Raman noodles
School meal next to the cute boy
Toasted bagel
Cafeteria date with the boy
Steaming bean soup
Dinner date with a new boyfriend
Gourmet pizza
Perfect picnic on spring hills
Juicy strawberries
One year anniversary celebration
Succulent chocolates
Meeting with his parents alone for the first time
Slimy spaghetti
Breakfast in bed after passionate nights
Sugary waffles
Late night movies together
Buttery popcorn
Two year anniversary family gathering
Barbeque ribs
Romantic dinner for a marriage proposal
Roasted oysters
Nights alone after he says no
Greasy pizza
Following him wherever he goes
Rotten strawberries
After receiving a restraining order from the police
Molded chocolates
Sleepless nights staring at his picture
Stale popcorn
Insane asylums daily lunch servings
Undercooked Raman noodles
Mental institutes only breakfast special
Disintegrating waffles
First meal after faculty release
Boiling bean soup
Plotting revenge for a broken heart
Crumbling bagel
Violent lunch with a cute boy ******* across from me
Burnt oysters
A picnic over his chopped up body

****** ribs.
Lmaooo
Vale Luna Jan 2018
My brain is a bowl of spaghetti
I can be turned with a greedy hand
And a rusty fork
Eating my thoughts
From an unwashed container

Please stop eating.

I don’t think I can afford
To lose another fork-full
    another strand of memory
Let alone
Be mixed up
With the other ingredients
Poured into my skull

It seems I’m getting sloppy.

Refills are impossible
Because the more I try to stuff inside
The more the contents overflow
And the threads of words
Come spilling out
When I beg them not to

Well.

I hate contradicting myself
But without anyone eating
And without room for refills
The nutrients inside
Will begin to rot
And disintegrate
Into nothing but molded mulch
So everything I try to retain
Will be useless
    and inedible

The filth accumulates.

Insanity will be the smell of my mind
It will control my every action
A single whiff
Strong enough
To lower the IQ of a genius

I’m losing myself.

I’d try to explain it
In understandable terms
But it seems the correct words
Were lost
    when I was bitten into
And scattered
    when I overflowed

This is what I tried to describe before:

My head is a box of noodles
I can be dented with a pinky finger
And a dull knife
Tasting my dreams
From a…
        Hm.
    Sorry.
What were we talking about?
Vale Luna May 2017
You remind me
Of a stupid pop song
Too upbeat
With repetition; I dread

And I hate
That I know all the words

So you stay forever
Stuck in my head.
Vale Luna May 2017
Being free means absolutely nothing

But becoming free means everything.
Vale Luna Nov 2017
I welcome psychotic breakdowns
Ugly crying
Violent arguments
And overwhelming bad news

Don’t worry
Each disturbing moment
Is just a chapter in my story
A short clip
In the kaleidoscope montage
That is my reality

Capture a heart wrenching moment
In three second bursts
And repeat
Until there's an hour of footage
So when it's done
Twenty years will have passed
From the first moment
To the last

In a futures world
I'll be better off
In a successful career
Traveling the world
Not famous enough to be recognized
But known enough to be quoted
For a line of my solemn life
To be an everyday phrase
Recounting my memories to strangers
Creating inspiration for the broken

Freeze frame.
And rewind.
Because this isn't my movie.

I'm in someone else's tale
No matter how tragic my back story is
I'll stay locked in
As a background character
A bully?
A victim?
A destroyer?
A teacher?
An enemy?
A friend?
Will they know I'm their co-star?
Will they make room for me on screen?
Will they even notice my presence?

I'll be forgotten
Lost in a sea of miniscule roles
So these disturbing moments
Won't be reduced to three seconds
And there'll be no Twenty years later flash forward
I'll be stuck in every second
Forever pushed to the sidelines
Forever questioning
If the next person I meet
Will be the main character
In this movie I'm trapped in
Vale Luna May 2017
You told me that you'd stay by my side
But you left me with a vacancy
You promised you'd never let me go
But now no one holds onto me

You argued that we'd have a life together
But you took your things and departed
You promised that this was the beginning
But you ran away before it started

You said that this would all work out
But now nothing in my life is okay
You promised not to break my heart
But left it in pieces anyway

You claimed that we could just start over
But no one has cleaned our slate
You promised that this was true love
But we felt nothing like soulmates

You stated we'd have nothing but laughs
But all I remember are depressing times
You promised to give me only smiles
But all you left me with was frown lines.
Vale Luna Jun 2017
I'm the type of person
That wears a gas mask
In the midst
Of flower petals

Simply because
The hallucinogenic scent
Reminds me
Too much
Of your perfume.
Vale Luna Jun 2017
I'm trying to humanize you
Rip you off
That stupid little pedestal
That I put you on
Make myself realize
How ****** up you can be
How mortal you really are
How ridiculous I am
For thinking
Your anything more than
Human.

I'm trying to deconstruct you
Tear to pieces
Your squalid crown
That I placed on your head
Understand
That your heart
Can be cracked too
That I'm not the only one
That gets hurt

I'm trying to objectify you
Stop building you up
In my mind
To where you're a queen
A goddess
On a throne above me
Ruling me
My thoughts
My actions
Attempting to perceive
The reality
That you don't own me
My mind
Or my body

I'm trying to humanize you
Fight against
Your stereotypical perfection
And acknowledge
Your flaws
Your weaknesses
Your mistakes
Your problems
Your defects
Your cracks
Your brokenness
Your ****
To finally appreciate
That you're nothing more than
Human.
Loving her is killing me. I have to stop putting her on a pedestal and realize that she's just as human as me.

Hope it's soon.
Vale Luna May 2017
Always the same, in every night
Words stuck in my brain
I feel meaningless
With grievingness
A silent retreat in this
Forgottenness
The rottenness
A knife to jab into my wrists
The pointlessness
That I exist
Maybe it's cuz I'm a pessimist
I can't resist
The Devil's list
Or the urge to sink in the abyss
Well if it's true, I'm so worthless
Why can't I be blue?
Do I deserve to be hurting?
Constant self re-working
Shadows lurking
Thoughts are jerking
Evil sits inside me, smirking
Eyes averting
Words alerting
Save me from this dark converting
Self asserting
Random blurting
Worse than the ****** flirting
With my corrupt, thoughts perverting
It's clear I'm ****** up
But crying’s
Not dying
No matter how hard I'm trying
Horrifying
Re-wiring
Because my brain cells are frying
Clarifying
Not lying
Whether or not I'm implying
Defying
Denying
Is all that I'm supplying
The only crime, is, you stand by me
You're wasting your time
Mind won't stop racing
Or re-making
The challenges that I'm facing
Just shaking
Earthquaking
My anxiety displaying
Not praying
Or weighing
Any mistakes that I'm making
Soul fading
Creating
The sinful way I'm behaving
So every night, as I'm laying
It's these thoughts that bite
I'm meaningless
Self-loathingness
Magnifying my uselessness
A joyless
Black abyss
Wild *****, hungry for coitus
Yes, mindless
Undesignedness
Nothing to fill the vacantness
I'm voiceless
And pointless

It's these thoughts that's destroyed us
Vale Luna Jun 2017
I asked you to make time for me
To make time for my love
But you were quick to explain
How relative time really was

That the moments
And seconds
And hours
And days
Were too impossible to stretch out
Or make last
Or hold onto for me

You told me
That clocks controlled our time together
That every time a clock ticked
A second was lost
Becoming the past
History
Before our very eyes
Our moments controlled
And measured
In the hands of a machine
A twisted philosophy
That you believed

I wanted to tell you
That if we cracked open the glass
We could turn back the hands
And re-live the memories
When you told me
You'd always be there
And we'd never be apart

I wanted to tell you
That we could freeze time
If we broke the clock
So that always
Would last forever
And never
Would never come

I tried to tell you
That my time is measured
In how many breaths of your perfume I inhale
In how many times I cry on your shoulder
In how many times
You tell me you love me

But I can see now
Our time together meant nothing
Because you measure time
By the sound of clocks ticking

So when I asked you to make time
It was an impossible request
And you'll move on without me
While I put our clock to rest.
Vale Luna Jul 2017
I knew it was impossible
To change someone's sexuality
But with you
I tried anyway
Only to discover
How heart-shatteringly
Implausible
And truly
Improbable
The
Impossible
Really is.
Falling in love is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
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