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Vale Luna Feb 2018
(read forward, then backward, line by line)

I ran.
Not knowing what else to do
There was so much blood on my hands
It was mine
The kitchen knife
Caught in my chest
Guilt
Consumed by
Fear
I was heightened by
Adrenaline
But running on
Wasn’t enough
While trying to stay calm,
Losing control
It was me that would end up
Dead. Because
He was
In front of me
The whole time
It was too late
Trapped
I found myself
Locked in chains
My fate was
Death.
Forward: from the victims perspective.
Backward: from the murderers perspective.

This TOOK ME FOREVER TO WRITE
1.8k · Aug 2017
Overthinking
Vale Luna Aug 2017
Do you ever write something
So good
That you feel like you've peaked
As a writer?
And everything from then on
Is a question in your head?

Maybe you should never
Pick up a pencil again
Because your writing career
Has already been wrapped up
Tightly with a bow

Maybe you planned to be a poet
Get a proper creative writing degree
And forever make a living
Off the rhythm of words
But every idea now
Seems like a steaming pile of ****
Compared to your last masterpiece
So it just sits
Rotting in your brain
Until you stink
With a lack of genuine creativity

Maybe you've written so much
That your rhymes
Begin to sound tired
And overused
But if you don't rhyme
It sounds as if you've gotten lazy
So no matter what you put down
The effort doesn't show

Maybe writing about the ordinary
Seems boring
But writing the extraordinary
Has already been done
And every option in between
Seems like a cheap plagiarism

Maybe your standards got too high
And people expect more from you
So every ounce of energy you have
Is wasted on doubting yourself
Until you're too exhausted
To write at all

Maybe you dreamt too big

Maybe quitting while you're ahead
Sounds better than actually trying

Maybe the emptiness you feel
When you don't write
Is worth not risking failure

Maybe saying goodbye
To your dreams now
Will be easier
Than a downward spiral
From the inability
To write something better than before

Or maybe
You're just overthinking it.
Wow, the feedback I'm getting from this poem is amazing. Tbh, THIS was one of the poems I had written that I doubted and almost didn't publish cuz I thought it wasn't good enough.

Moral of the story. Keep writing no matter what. Some things will suprise you.
1.6k · Sep 2017
Black Rose
Vale Luna Sep 2017
I was a rose
Turned black with decay
Until my petals fell to the dirt
And I stood naked
In front of your audience

I was a rose
Watered with vinegar
Fed with cyanide
Loved by your ego
And broken by your hands

I was a rose
Torn from the roots
Cut off at the stem
Dead before I was alive
And rotten before I was ripe

I was a rose
Stabbed by my own thorns
Bleeding from the inside
Draining my crimson color
Into your palms

I was your rose
Painted black by your lips
Brushed to dark perfection
My expiration date long passed
As you sniffed my last breath away.

I was your rose.
1.5k · Oct 2018
Master's Toy
Vale Luna Oct 2018
Master’s toy
Wants to be played with
Oh, please, come play with me
I am yours
And only yours
I think that you’d agree

Pick me up
By my puppet strings
And watch me dance around your bed
Pick me up
And amuse yourself
I want a place inside your head

Master! Master!
Come visit me
Inside my little dollhouse
I simply long
To be your plaything
You’re the cat, I’ll be the mouse

Master! Master!
I get lonely
When I’m not held within your clutch
As your doll
All I have
Is constant longing for your touch

There’s one purpose
I am trained for
And that’s for you to enjoy
Forever conditioned
Forever enslaved
To be Master’s little toy.
1.4k · May 2017
A Poet's Love
Vale Luna May 2017
All poets
Are in love with the moon
Romanticizing the mystery of outerspace
On a cold, lonely eve
To look up at the night sky
And sigh
At the glimmer of friendship
The sliver of hope
The reflection of love
Hanging next to the stars

Sometimes, I sigh
Remembering
The moon is nothing but a rock
Stuck in orbit
Stealing a poet's love.
A lot of poetry (including my own) is written about the moon or outerspace.

P.S. THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE OFFENDING TO ANYONE WHO WRITES ABOUT THE MOON! (I do it a lot)

Just some depressing thoughts...
1.3k · Sep 2017
Three's Company
Vale Luna Sep 2017
And so it begins

I can taste your release on his lips
Like it was my own tongue
That had gotten you to moan
So sweetly
So innocently
Innocent -
As if you weren’t the bi girl
Sandwiched between the sexually confused
And the dominating alpha

My turn now

To be innocent with your mouth
And to be guilty
With a man pressed against my backside
A verdict
That we agreed on unanimously
Because nothing is more thrilling
Than being wrong
With two people who are so right

One more time

Let’s make a chain with our bodies
He’ll stand
You’ll kneel
I’ll lay under you
Until we morph into one
Connected by the wetness between our legs
And against ours lips

Again
And again

Changing the three of us
Into familiar strangers
Intertwined in seductive affairs
Because baby
Two is comfort
But three is company.
1.2k · Dec 2017
Maternal Instincts
Vale Luna Dec 2017
Mommy! Mommy! I'm crying!
Jumping in the rocking chair
Baby, sit down, stop your whining.
Tearing a stranger’s underwear

Mommy! Mommy! I feel sick!
Sharp words spoken through *****
Sweetie, would you stop your joking?
A freshly rolled joint made for smoking

Mommy! Mommy! I can't breathe!
Hysteria from the panic
Dearest, just take some pills, please.
On the drugs from the attic

Mommy! Mommy! My chest hurts!
Rapid pounding through the shirt
Honey, shut up, drink your bottle.
Alcohol straight from the nozzle

Mommy! Mommy! I'm choking!
Falling into a seizure
Darling, would you quit your moaning?
A midnight *****, all too eager

Mommy! Mommy! I'm bleeding!
The sound of terrified weeping
Sweetheart, all you need is some sleep.
Gone too high on amphetamines

Mommy! Mommy! I'm dying!
Skin starting to change color
Baby, lay down, stop your whining.
Forgetting to be a mother.
Vale Luna May 2017
Downside up
In relevant confusion
Awakening in a slanted dream
It seems
Everything rhymes with orange
And you love me
SIDEWAYS EIGHT
More times than I love you

Broken mirrors
Are nothing but good luck
Four leaf clovers
And run for the hills
It seems
Everything rhymes with month
And I love you
Just not in that way
So you COLON, OPEN PARENTHESES
More than me

The moon's intense heat
Lights the day
While rain falls
From the grass to the clouds
It seems
Everything rhymes with wolf
And when I rejected you
You COLON, APOSTROPHE, OPEN PARENTHESESED
A little

Spiders are mans best friend
Children sleep with darkeners
In fear of light
And fairytale princesses
It seems
Everything rhymes with purple
And I feel sorry
That you love me
Leaving me with a COLON, SLASH

The stars are my only enemy
Crying at night brings me joy
And I cut myself
Because I desperately want to live
It seems
Everything rhymes with rhythm
And it's my fault
That your LESS THAN SIGN, SLASH, THREE



Sleeping into reality
Falling out of mirages
With a
DASH, UNDERSCORE, DASH
Look on my face
It seems
Nothing rhymes with orange.
If your too lazy to figure it out lol:
infinity
:(
:'(
</3
:/
-_-
1.1k · Oct 2017
Falling
Vale Luna Oct 2017
For you
           I
                   f
                    e
                      l
                        l

L    o    n     g
And hard

But for some reason

I wasn’t expecting
To be
              b       o       e
                   r       k      n

When the
                    f
                      a
                        l
                          l
                            i
                             n
                               g
Was over
And I
           hit
The ground.
1.1k · May 2017
Dirty Sweets
Vale Luna May 2017
To reassure me
You utter softly
                    "Just think of me
                     As a cookie
                     You've been dying to eat
"
...
I'm nervous
My hands are shaking
When I place them on your knees

Sure
I've tasted hard lollipops before
And they were easy to take in my mouth
As my lips formed around them.

But I've never had a sugar cookie
Quite like this before
With a goddess
Quite like you

Your voice is calm
Collected
But weighed down
Over the sound of my panting
As your fingers tangle in my hair
                    "Relax"

My body twitches with excitement
Anxiety
Because I want to please you
But I don't know how

I lean forward anyway
And lick away some of the frosting
You moan
And I know you taste sweeter than ever.
1.0k · May 2017
Okay Google
Vale Luna May 2017
Okay Google,
How do I get a crush to notice me?
Okay Google,
How do I ask someone out?
Okay Google,
What should I wear on a first date?
Okay Google,
How many dates until it's okay to kiss?
Okay Google,
How many dates until it's okay to have ***?
Okay Google,
How much do condoms cost?

Okay Google,
What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship?
Okay Google,
How should I apologize after an argument?
Okay Google,
How do I cope with a hard break-up?
Okay Google,
What are the signs of a mental illness?
Okay Google,
How do I cope with depression?
Okay Google,
What are the easiest suicide methods?
Okay Google,
How do I buy a gun?
1.0k · Jan 2018
Moon Drip
Vale Luna Jan 2018
I think the Moon knows
I'm watching Her
Because sometimes,
                           She leaves me presents
It may sound silly
But I've got a jar full of Her secrets
That I keep in a lockbox under my bed
The pass code; Luna
So I'll praise Her title
Each time I uncover
The hidden gifts She's given to me

Purified droplets of moonlight.

The size of a jewel
The weight of a diamond
The glow of an angel
The shine of a star

The Moon probably knows
I'm watching Her
Because sometimes,
                            I find a drop
In the bud of a flower
Sometimes,
                  in the pit of a well
Sometimes,
                  in the cave of an animal
Sometimes,
                  in the crack of a rock
Sometimes,
                  in the hollow of a tree
Sometimes,
                  in the current of a stream
And on the rarest of occasions
I'll find Her lodged between the pages
Of my notebook

I've collected a dreams worth of gems now
So whenever I find myself,
                                       Lost.
- Swallowed by the void -
I'll have enough moonlight in my jar
To ignite the darkest of days
And the presence
                             of Her presents
Will go unnoticed by no shadow
Or creature of the night.

Luna knows I'm watching Her.

I'll continue to gaze from below
And let no stone go unturned
So when the Moon drips again
I'll be there to catch Her
Another crystallized droplet of a blessing
To tuck away
In the box under my bed.
1.0k · Aug 2017
Solar Eclipse
Vale Luna Aug 2017
The Sun told me he was dying
And of course
I didn't believe him

Until the sky went black

I suppose it was in epiphany
That in that moment
The world had gone cold

Excitement in the eyes of the crazy
Panic in the heart of the insane
And Confusion in the mind of the dumb
Because the Sun had died

Melodramatic as ever
His death only lasted a minute and a half
And when he resurrected
The earth was warm again
Relief washing over him
Knowing that he hadn't abandoned
The ones who needed him most

It was seeing the Sun in that crescent shape
That caused me to realized
It was the Moon herself
That had stolen the spotlight
His spotlight

When it's just the two of us
Alone
(With all the other stars)
I ask her
“Why did you overshadow
The one you call your brother?”

From this
She looks down at me
A reflection of sadness
Buried deep within her craters
She sighs

And she tells me.

At least once
Every one hundred years
She wants people to look at her
In the daytime
And understand
That she might not bring heat and light
But she is part of our solar system too.

So now
I understand her
Because I listen to her
Because I see her
Because despite the thousands of miles
Separating us
Our hearts
Seem to beat
At the same time.
Dedicated to: the US solar eclipse of 2017
AND
Anyone else who feels like the Moon sometimes <3
1000 · Jun 2017
Dear Unborn
Vale Luna Jun 2017
My dear unborn child,
                 I never want you
                 To feel excluded

                 I never want you
                 To believe you're ugly
                 Just because you look different
                 From the other kids

My dear unborn child,
                 I never want you
                 To feel emotional pain

                 I never want you
                 To be ruthlessly bullied
                 Or be called a freak
                 Or a ******

My dear unborn child,
                 I never want you
                 To experience heartbreak

                 I never want you
                 To fall in love with someone
                 Who can't love you back
                 Or treasure your true beauty

My dear unborn child,
                 I never want you
                 To develop a mental illness

                 I never want you
                 To sink into depression
                 To the point where
                 You suffocate
                 And wish I had left you
                 Unborn.

My dear unborn child,
                 I never want you to hurt
                 I never want you to suffer
                 I never want you to end up
                 Like me.

My dear unborn child,
                 Because I love you
                 I have decided to spare you
                 I have decided to grant you
                 Your unspoken wish
                 I have decided to leave you
                 Unborn, forever.
My experiences have told me never to bring children into this world. The earth is too cruel. I don't want anyone else to suffer.
985 · May 2017
Midnight Snack
Vale Luna May 2017
To you
I'm just a midnight snack
Dressed up with perfume
For you to chew on when you get bored at night

But I can promise you
That when you see me in this dress
You'll be down on your knees
Begging
For this full course meal.
788 · May 2017
Tired Fingers
Vale Luna May 2017
I cherish the love letters
You write to me
When you're away
The ink on the page
Capturing the pretty things you would say
Just like you're here
                             by my side
Forcing my legs open wide
Your cursive understands
My ***** desires
So I'll keep re-reading your words
Until my fingers get tired.
735 · May 2017
Your Eyes Catch Moonlight
Vale Luna May 2017
Catching moonlight
Behind your eyes
Looking down
Even the stars sigh
Illuminating
The night sky
Gorgeous reflections
Never to die
A love struck gaze
In a moment's time
Kaleidoscope eyes
Purely divine
Perfect beauty
Caught by you tonight
Dazzling crystals
Catching moonlight.
726 · May 2018
Caterpillars
Vale Luna May 2018
When I see you
I get caterpillars in my stomach
Not grown enough to be butterflies
But alive enough
    To make me feel sick

The constant crawling
A thousand tiny legs
Scurrying up my esophagus
Ready to throw up
A feeling too real to ignore
And too nauseating to admit

So when I see you again
I’ll just keep my mouth shut
Live with the taste of dirt on my tongue
And swallow the caterpillars
   That live in my stomach.
722 · Jul 2017
Toxic Ivy
Vale Luna Jul 2017
I was born with ovaries for a brain
And a cavity for thought
The predisposition
To put my hand down my pants
At the age of seven
But with a good berating
From my unconditionally loving mother
The putrid seed was recognized
Its stem ripped from my mind
Torn from my *******
Too late
Obviously
Too oblivious
To notice that the roots still tangled around me
Its vines growing up into my ******
The **** that encapsulated my mentality
So the birds and the bees were my friends
At the age of nine
And that cute boy across the playground
Was cuter when I envisioned him naked
Only a mere three years later
And my susceptibility
Ignited the sight of cybersex
The capital ***
Or more commonly known as *******
But when my parents soon discovered
The poisonous vines of dependency
The toxic ivy of addiction
It was forced to an abrupt halt
Too late
Obviously
Too oblivious
To notice the compulsive *******
That kicked in with the involuntary lust
For a pillow to trust under my hips
Before the age of fourteen
Securing the hypersexuality
So that the hot girl in the hallway
Was hotter when I envisioned her naked
And hotter than the boy next to her
So the bisexuality
Tormented my already demented desires
By the age of sixteen
Simply because
I was born with ovaries for a brain
And a cavity for thought.
Vale Luna Jan 2018
The petals of a shadow
Sharp against the fingertips
A monopoly of acid
Dripping from a pair of lips

The duel wings of a shadow
Whistling through the ashes
Poison oozing from the pores
A tyranny of rashes

The heartbeat of a shadow
Lurks in the vacancy of noise
Creeping over the moonlight
Through a psychological void

The night roots of a shadow
Like tools of a mercenary
Inching up walls of the sky
Too palpable to bury

The mindset of a shadow
A lock of thorns splintering
A storm brewed with tears
Shards ripping through a bloodstream

The silhouette of darkness
The petals of a black rose
An epidemic of ail
Now swallowed by the shadows.
611 · May 2017
Equations
Vale Luna May 2017
*** is an equation
                              it seems
And I'm your calculator

Because when I'm with you
You know all the right buttons
                                                to push
                   All the right combinations
                                                to plug in
To make me your hand-held
                                                property

Your relentless fingers
                     Unpausing
                                Pitiless
                                       Unremitting
Lacking every sense of the word
                                                  "Mercy"

Despite my begging
My programming goes against me
And I'm forced
                     to spit out the answer
That you request

So because of your brutality
It's easier to lie
                        to myself
To lie and say
That I don't want
                          to keep making equations with you
597 · Jun 2017
Lost Tempo
Vale Luna Jun 2017
There's a gentle metronome
Resting on my writing desk
Like a robotic lullaby
Humming me to rest
Tick-tick-tick
Through the night
Let my wrongs turn to rights
A dream that's a home

Tick; goes the metronome.

There's a fragile metronome
Posing on my wood bookshelf
The only sound in the room
Echoing all by itself
Tick-tick-tick
All day long
A sharp, melodic song
Cranking out a soothing tone

Tick tick; goes the metronome.

There's a cracked metronome
Sitting on my windowsill
Clocking in and out
The worst type of sleeping pill
Tick-tick-tick
Night and day
Hypnotizing it's prey
True tranquility stands alone

Tick tick tick; goes the metronome.

There's a defective metronome
Laying on my bedroom floor
It's sickening harmony
Rots me to my core
Tick-tick-tick
Losing power
I'm awake every hour
A heart weighed down by stone

Tick tick; goes the metronome.

There's a shattered metronome
Placed at the foot of my bed
A sound that’s lost its tempo
A heartbeat that's fled
Tick-tick-tick
In my brain
Repetition in vain
Break me til I'm nothing but bone

Tick.
Stops the metronome.
587 · May 2017
Lunar Eclipse
Vale Luna May 2017
I’m trapped in the constellations
Because I tried to grab the stars
But the moon screamed
I screamed
Echoing across the celestial
So the city of lights awoke

And the extroverts below
Cry out at us
To force us to remain mute
As if they control the solar system
But the moon ignores them
Thus, I ignore them too

The rays liquify me
As I try to connect the dots
But the images I arrange
Are mocking me
Laughing through the sky
Teasing the Milky Way

And the sun scoffs our feud
Too galactic to engage
Only observing
As I bounce between the fiery lines
Surging into boundaries
Too torched to care

But for the introverts beneath
There’s only a catalina void
Where the established figures
Are marginally vitiated
Dim flickers
Lost in the distance

So I’m overshadowed
By this lunar eclipse
Helplessly cornered
Inside the myriad configurations
I scream
Because I tried to grab the stars.
573 · May 2018
Delicate Love
Vale Luna May 2018
A love so fragile
That it hurts when I breathe
Shattered memories
Swept by the breeze

A love so scrambled
That it leaves me confused
My heart’s been abused
Black and blue bruised

A love so tangled
That it ends up in knots
A tied-up blood clot
Starting to rot

A love so unraveled
That it loses control
A physical toll
Burnt on my soul

A love so fragile
That is breaks when I try
Starting to know why
I do nothing but cry.
572 · Jun 2017
Just Stop (10w)
Vale Luna Jun 2017
Don't
ask me
What's
wrong
?”
If you
don't
really
care.
567 · May 2017
Sex is Ice Cream
Vale Luna May 2017
*** is ice cream
But Love is whipped cream
                  with the cherry on top.

Next time you crave for plain vanilla

Ask yourself:
Do I want the toppings too?
560 · May 2017
Fifty Shades of Purple
Vale Luna May 2017
"Fifty Shades of Grey" has plagued my life
With the expectation
That to be ******
Is to be loved.

The perfect treachery for a teenage girl

Falling in love with the idea
That pain is pleasure
So the more it hurts
The better the ******

The perfect deception for a teenage girl

So now I wait for him to have me
While he leaves fifty shades of purple
Across my face
Although
I still have my virginity…

The perfect teenage girl for a trap.
I wrote this for a friend, not me.
537 · Nov 2017
Pronounced Dead
Vale Luna Nov 2017
Poison only tastes like poison
After you swallow it
Too unfortunate
To admit
You've been murdered
Before you're dead
You know it's only a matter of time
Before you're coughing up red

This is your nightshade
Your parasite
Your venom
Your kryptonite
You know the harder you fight
The harder back - the poison will bite
Don’t slow down
Do take a breath
It’s the last time you'll breathe
Before your death
Or refer to it as “eternal rest”
To try and ease
The tightening in your chest

So panicked
So manic
Feeling entirely frantic
Uncertainty
With urgency
But you were poisoned purposely
And you know without a doubt
Who set out
To knock you out

You'll look across the room
You'll feel it in your veins
Your eyes will lock with hers
You'll overflow with pain
It burns you from the inside
Nowhere to hide
She's filled with pride

Cuz she knows
She's the one who murdered you
And she also knows
That you know it too
The reason was clear
Why she put the poison in your throat
And when she kissed you
She knew there was no antidote

She leaned in close
So you'd hear the words that she said
And from what she whispered
She was pronouncing you dead

Suddenly it occurs to you
That with the venom on her lips
She will die too
Cuz love only feels like love
When you're falling into it
And poison only tastes like poison
After you've swallowed it.
Love is death... to some people anyway :)
533 · Jan 2018
Food for Thought
Vale Luna Jan 2018
My brain is a bowl of spaghetti
I can be turned with a greedy hand
And a rusty fork
Eating my thoughts
From an unwashed container

Please stop eating.

I don’t think I can afford
To lose another fork-full
    another strand of memory
Let alone
Be mixed up
With the other ingredients
Poured into my skull

It seems I’m getting sloppy.

Refills are impossible
Because the more I try to stuff inside
The more the contents overflow
And the threads of words
Come spilling out
When I beg them not to

Well.

I hate contradicting myself
But without anyone eating
And without room for refills
The nutrients inside
Will begin to rot
And disintegrate
Into nothing but molded mulch
So everything I try to retain
Will be useless
    and inedible

The filth accumulates.

Insanity will be the smell of my mind
It will control my every action
A single whiff
Strong enough
To lower the IQ of a genius

I’m losing myself.

I’d try to explain it
In understandable terms
But it seems the correct words
Were lost
    when I was bitten into
And scattered
    when I overflowed

This is what I tried to describe before:

My head is a box of noodles
I can be dented with a pinky finger
And a dull knife
Tasting my dreams
From a…
        Hm.
    Sorry.
What were we talking about?
531 · Nov 2017
Missing Her Entourage
Vale Luna Nov 2017
I looked up at the Moon through the hole of a straw
Her dusk, crescent shape
The only thing that I saw
Blocked from my pupil to the darkness around
The rest of the stars
Blazing without sound

Take away the straw, gaze up at the sky
The whole picture I missed
Not seen in my eye
A mess of twinkles shoved into a collage
Starring above
The Moon and Her entourage

The Moon as their chief, keeping the playful tamed
But night rules are fair
Sparks are never contained
Dance around each other, sail kisses through wind
A shooting star zipped passed
Its light never dimmed

Sparkling stars, next to Her, you're an image
Stay close by Her side
To stretch beauty's limits
Litter the earth with a fistful of bright spots
Sing out in space
Leave it gleaming and hot

Shine as their leader and protect the night sky
Yes, Moon, that's your entourage
Stuck in my eye
Being naive, the Moon is all that I saw
So look at the whole
Not through the hole of a straw.
529 · Nov 2017
Freeze Frame
Vale Luna Nov 2017
I welcome psychotic breakdowns
Ugly crying
Violent arguments
And overwhelming bad news

Don’t worry
Each disturbing moment
Is just a chapter in my story
A short clip
In the kaleidoscope montage
That is my reality

Capture a heart wrenching moment
In three second bursts
And repeat
Until there's an hour of footage
So when it's done
Twenty years will have passed
From the first moment
To the last

In a futures world
I'll be better off
In a successful career
Traveling the world
Not famous enough to be recognized
But known enough to be quoted
For a line of my solemn life
To be an everyday phrase
Recounting my memories to strangers
Creating inspiration for the broken

Freeze frame.
And rewind.
Because this isn't my movie.

I'm in someone else's tale
No matter how tragic my back story is
I'll stay locked in
As a background character
A bully?
A victim?
A destroyer?
A teacher?
An enemy?
A friend?
Will they know I'm their co-star?
Will they make room for me on screen?
Will they even notice my presence?

I'll be forgotten
Lost in a sea of miniscule roles
So these disturbing moments
Won't be reduced to three seconds
And there'll be no Twenty years later flash forward
I'll be stuck in every second
Forever pushed to the sidelines
Forever questioning
If the next person I meet
Will be the main character
In this movie I'm trapped in
512 · May 2017
Misguided
Vale Luna May 2017
Now read it backwards.
Demented.
Know you're lying when you say you're
Beautiful, purposeful, and wonderful
Because you're
Rotten, misshapen, and broken
Let these words define you
Don't
Say you hold perfections in your faults!
Know that's a lie
Tell yourself you're just misfit and
Let negative thoughts consume you
Please don't
Try and boost your self-esteem.
Now read it backwards.
(Yes, you really do have to read it backwards, line by line)
509 · Jun 2017
Nowhere in Silence
Vale Luna Jun 2017
I'm trapped
Inside the labyrinth
Of my mind
I've lost track
Of the day's gone by
Trying to trace my way back
To the light
But I've gotten so used to the black
That now I just sit in silence

I'm tired
Because before
I would constantly
Stumble my way through
Just to get back to
Nowhere
No progress made
No distance created
So I'd just stare
Into the depth of it
Wondering if I should really care
Or if it doesn't meant ****
So that giving up
Is my only option
The pain
Too impossible to bare
Cuz I'd always
Land somewhere back in Nowhere

I'm tormented
Because every time
I try to stand up
My strength
Is never enough
So I'm forced back down
By the pressure
Falling to the ground
Over and over
And in this maze
The only sound
Is silence.
502 · Jun 2017
The Patient in Asylum X
Vale Luna Jun 2017
Now you're in the sunken place
Clawing at your own skin
To escape
Break free
From the prison inside you
Pulling apart
Your rib cage
Because it feels like
You're suffocating yourself
Panting
        Gasping
              Grasping
For reality
But the only thing you catch
Is a handful
Of your decaying flesh

And now you're in the sunken place

The tears like acid-
Poison to your eyes
Burning through your sight
So you fight
With clouded vision
Stumbling into
The labyrinth that is your brain
Colliding
        Crashing
              Bashing
Against the tissued barriers
The padded walls
Insanely insanity
The darkest type of mental institute
Locked with three clicks
Inside your head

And now you're in the sunken place

Constantly slicing yourself open
Searching for a key
To unlock the psych ward door
A key-
Lost in your vital organs
So you cut deeper
Deep-deep down under
Drowning in gallons
Or your own crimson blood
Muffling your screams to girgles
You try and hide
In the fissures of your bones
Tearing
       Splitting
            Ripping
Through yourself
To escape yourself
To survive this hell
To outlive your jail cell

So now you're stuck
In the sunken place

Quietly psychotic
Waiting for what comes next
Paralyzed
         Frozen
             Broken
...
You're the patient in **Asylum X.
I got the "sunken place" from the movie Get Out (which is an awesome movie which accurately depicts racism that I've experienced btw).

Anyway, I just took that idea and ran with it!
Vale Luna Jun 2017
When you get down
On your knees in front of me
I panic:
                 “Please don't.

I'm so used to
  Being the one to kneel
  Being your submissive
  Being the one
To caress your sensitive sugar cookie
With the tip of my tongue
Just not the other way around:
                 “Stop.

I'm scared
Because what if
You don't like the way I taste
What if
I'm not sweet enough for you
The thought
Burns up my insides:
                 “please don't…

But when you plant
A candy coated kiss
On my quivering
Inner thigh
I can feel myself
Dripping
My frosting
Creating a damp oval
On the bed spread
A gentle moan escapes my lips:
                 “stop…

Yet
Your body is hungry
And my words
Only make your stomach growl

So you lean forward anyway
And kiss away at the sugar
My tension growing:
                 “Please don't. Stop.
Dripping and melting
Into a pleading whimper
                 “Please don't stop.

Evidently
I seem to be sweet enough for you.
Just thought I'd have a little fun and write a sequel to ***** Sweets (for those of you who are a fan of that poem) :D
491 · Jul 2017
Life Recipe
Vale Luna Jul 2017
Ten teaspoons of pure suffering
With a sprinkle of love toughening
Add a pound of tormented soul
To mix up into the life bowl
                      
A tiny pinch of happiness
With a huge handful of darkness
Now give those two a solid roll
To mix up into the life bowl

Maybe add a dash of pleasure
Which must be light as a feather
Add chunks of torture for that toll
To mix up into the life bowl

Don’t forget a cup of heartbreak
Including all friends that are fake
With that, your recipe is whole
To mix up into the life bowl.
490 · Jul 2017
Until Today
Vale Luna Jul 2017
I woke up this morning
In bed next to Depression
Although,
I don't remember going to sleep next to him
I think I would've remembered that
I know I would've remembered that

Because, Depression and I
Haven't seen each other
In a very long time
We actually separated…
In fact, I dumped him
The instant Joy returned to me

But I guess I should've know better
Than to get clingy with Joy
Because last night
She left
Again.
So suddenly
So abruptly
So randomly
I thought we were happy together
But changing circumstances
Sent her running for the hills

Depression must have heard that she ran
And seized the opportunity to get to me
Yet, until today
I thought I'd never see him again
I hoped
Because I didn't want him here
Not anymore

So I told him to leave
Over and over
But stubborn as ever
He refused
Over and over
Which escalated into a shouting match
One minute, I was yelling
But the next…
I'm on the ground
I mean
I've seen Depression hit Joy before
But he's never hit me

Until today

I don't remember much
But I'm still bruised and bloodied
And when the tears came down my cheeks
He sighed
And sat down next to me
To embrace me

I wanted to push him away
But…
I guess I just didn't have the energy
And even as I cried out miserably
His hold
Seemed to comfort me
Well… not “comfort” maybe
But I became comfortable
In his arms
I am comfortable
In his arms

And despite
How badly he hurt me
I don't mind the fact that he came back
Because
Until today
I had forgotten what he meant to me
I had forgotten
How much Depression and I get along.
"Not Anymore" sequel/pre-quel?
484 · Jun 2018
Destined to Drown
Vale Luna Jun 2018
I’m barely keeping my head above water

Other people
Made it look so easy
To backstroke through their days
With nothing to worry about
Except pruny fingertips
And what swimsuit to wear

It looked easy

Only after I jumped in
Did I realize that
I wasn’t born to swim
I wasn’t born with the ability to float
I wasn’t born with the talent to tread

Maybe I’m just dense

With a brain full of blanks
And a stomach full of stones
I’m guaranteed lungs full of liquid
To drag me down
To make every moment a living hell

I was born to sink

I often think of quitting
Letting the ocean consume me
Swallow me whole
As the waves seem to be
The only things
That ever wanted me

I’m barely keeping my head below water.
472 · May 2017
Craters
Vale Luna May 2017
We left footsteps on the moon together
An imprint of our souls
Stamped in immovable ink

But our walk was short lived
Because you got tired of stumbling
Stum - bi - ling
Over the pebbles
That blocked our steps

I tried to remind you
That every step we took
Was history
But history meant
Less
          and
                   less
The more there was to look back upon

It wasn't enough anymore
So you ran
Before we could continue walking together
And new craters consumed you
Before I could catch up

When you were long buried
I tried to collect the essence of our prints
But the moment I touched them
They unraveled to dust
Erasing what should have remained
Forever

So each time I reached
Each time I grasped for us
Our history became
Less
          and
                   less
Until there was nothing left to look back upon

Not like you would have turned around anyway
Because you were too busy
Creating new craters
With new others
To see the pieces of soul we left behind

Maybe it meant nothing to you
But I still keep a handful of dust
In the bottom of my pocket
To remind me of the way
We left footsteps on the moon together
Footsteps that vanished
Into nothing but dry particles

Dust
For someone else to walk on.
455 · Sep 2017
Second Hand Smoke
Vale Luna Sep 2017
I should be saying
That I'm thankful
For every breath I take
But truthfully
I'm not.

Every time I inhale
It's a long draw
Of a cigarette bud
That isn't mine
Forcing me to wheeze
And cough up the venom
That scorches my lungs

I am cursed
With the longing
To breathe fresh air
And rid myself
Of what I've become so attached to
Just because it's not my nicotine
Doesn't mean I'm not addicted to it
Addicted to dying
Addicted to the thrill of wondering
If this will be
My last cough

Quitting isn't my choice
I'm not the one
Who lights up
With shaking fingers
Shielding a flame from the wind
I'm just the one
Who enjoys
The ashtray full of burnt consequences

I don't have the option
To become unattracted
To the white clouds
Floating around your lips
I was already convinced
That following you
Was as good as resting in the sky
Even if my rest
Was on pillows
Made of poison

I can't say I'm thankful
For the intoxicatingly
Toxic air
That you spoon fed me

But I sure am blissful

I'm not stupid enough to think
Thankfulness and blissfulness
Are the same thing
I am smart enough to know
That honestly
I'm no better than you
Even if I wanted to be

You never offered me
My own cigarette to smoke
But standing next to you
I'm as good as dead.
Toxic relationships.
455 · Jun 2017
Wildfire (pt. 1)
Vale Luna Jun 2017
I forgot why I wanted to write about you
But then again
I forget a lot of things nowadays
And the things that I want
Never make sense anymore
At least you made me want something

And so
When I saw a star
Dashing across the horizon
I wished I would see you again
Then for a second
A single second
I closed my eyes
And I could feel your hands in my hair
But it wasn't your hands
It was just the shallow wind
Shallow
Hollow
Empty
Like your desires
So when I kissed you
You left your eyes open
And when I asked you if I looked beautiful
Your answer was inaudible
Always too silent to hear
So you broke me
Or maybe I broke myself trying to fix you
And the sparks we created
Started a wildfire
One that I couldn't put out
Even after you left
So it burned the last broken pieces of me
The ashes swept away
In that shallow wind that feels like your hands.
About my ex.

This poem is a lot longer but I don't wanna overwhelm you guys lol.
444 · Aug 2017
Miss Understood
Vale Luna Aug 2017
Hello! My name is:
Miss Understood*

Do you understand?
Ha! No!
I didn't think that you would!

Let me explain it
In easier terms
Who I really am
Without backwards words

The words on the page
Are often mispelled
But I'll make this one a riddle
And hope it ends well

A filthy secret
Sealed with a signature kiss
Locked in with ink
Or at least…
Something like this

From hands holding magic
To deep twisted lies
More dramatic reality
For a story
In a line

Chicken scratch codes
To decipher a thought
A colorful battle
Being constantly fought


Enough clues now!
Have you figured out who I am?
All the answers you need
Are in the palm of your hand

It's really quite simple
Cuz I made this one real good
And as I stated before
We are Miss Understood.
Tell me what you think the answer is :D
442 · Jun 2017
Judgemental
Vale Luna Jun 2017
Society tells you to be yourself
Then judges you
Cuz it's not right to act like someone else
It's good to be new
And yet at the same time, we shake our heads
“Don't stand out in crowds.”
So please don't start an unpopular trend
Just keep your voice down
Resist the urge to be innovative
Just go with the flow
But still we claim that the life you should live
Has to be your own

Cuz a ****** is a classified tease
Or too gross to touch
But anything more and you meet the needs
To be called a ****
And don't let yourself be a pushover
For jerks to use you
But if you speak up to find your closure
You're considered rude
Of course we say true beauty’s internal
That looks don't matter
But we're quick to lust for the external
Judging who's “hotter”
We love to support having opinions
But on the other hand
Ones who disagree should be imprisoned
Cuz differences are banned
We state that Jesus loves all his children
No need for hateful tags
But all homosexuals, stay hidden
Cuz “God despises ****”

Criticizing others is essential
For mankind to sink
Next time you decide to be judgemental
Please just stop and think.
Fight the contradictions
427 · Oct 2017
More than a Migraine
Vale Luna Oct 2017
I think I'm depressed
Maybe I'm just being dramatic
But how am I to tell if depression is this feeling of constant static?
Is this what's got a hold on me?
A grasp on me?
Trying to suffocate the life out of me?!
But just because right now, I can't breathe
Doesn’t mean
Depression is the thing choking me

I might be depressed
But I'm fighting hard to keep it suppressed
What does it feel like?
It feels like pain
It sounds like agony
And it looks like strain
It tastes like my emotions being flushed down the drain
It smells like there’s something rotting inside my brain
A noose around my hope
Locked up with a chain
The throbbing in my head
Is not just a migraine

I think I'm depressed
But what if this is normal?
What if I'm just calling for attention?
An honorable mention
In the mental illness section
Overthinking
What's honestly just sadness
The cause of this madness
So I'm sinking
Drinking in this lie
In a debate against my own mind
Trying to find
The source of this
Should I tell someone?
Or let it be dismissed?
But if I let it go
Will I keep drowning in this abyss?
How will I know
If I can get over this?
Without medication?
Or a therapy session?
Building up my frustration
So tell me this:
Have I lost my foundation?
Is my mind splitting apart?!
Is this just the start?!
Would keeping my mouth shut really be smart?!

I might be depressed
Depression is defined as severe dejection
But what type of severe would put me in that section?
I want to be saved
But my fear is too great
Am I making this up?
Am I sealing this fate?
All these questions seem to be worsening my headache

The thoughts in my mind are a mess
This suffering isn't easy to digest
It feels like there's a weight on my chest
What to do now, I don't know what's best
I'm reluctant to address the rest
The ending now, you could have guessed
I have no words best to express
But I think that I might be depressed.
Dedicated to / written for: Whitehair. Ily girl <3
Vale Luna May 2017
******* blood like black tainted wine
- Stain lips with this liquid of mine
- Tear my tender skin to pieces
- Pry through these mental diseases
- Feel my flesh with a fragile groan
- Break my body with brutal stones
- Bite my bones and then lick them clean
- Sigh your breath into my bloodstream
- **** my cells from savory veins
- Dine and devour the remains
- Grind my organs through gritted teeth
- Try not to think and simply breathe
- Weep with me as you dig the hole
- Forget I still possess a soul
- Scrape the sand from my eye sockets
- Tie my wrists with a sick promise
- Seize all of your sadistic dreams
- Bury me even as I scream
- Drown me with a mouthful of dirt
- Cry a lullaby through the earth
- Stop my story and seal my grave
- Fall to your knees and forge my fate
- Know that I was wanting this grief
- Die in this demented relief

Taste, stain, tear, pry
Feel, break, bite, sigh
****, dine, grind, try
Weep, forget, scrape, tie
Bury, seize, drown, cry
Stop, fall, know, die
Believe you're ill, but so am I
Together now, we die
                                       die
                                            die...
Could be about cannibalism or just a metaphor for ***** *** :) you decide
421 · May 2017
Confetti!
Vale Luna May 2017
(a.k.a. What You Must Have Been Thinking)

“Let's make confetti
With your little paper heart!
Smaller and smaller
Until there's nothing left to split apart.”

“Let's make confetti
And throw your feelings up in the air!
Shred it down to scraps
Until there's nothing left to tear.”

“Let's make confetti
With your diminished, pathetic soul!
Ripping up your spirit
Until we've left nothing whole.”

“Let's make confetti
With your miniscule emotions!
Leave them completely trashed
Until there's nothing left to be broken.”

“Let's make confetti
With your fragile paper heart
Punctured and torn
So your love can never restart.”
408 · Jun 2018
Scrawlings of a Madman
Vale Luna Jun 2018
The scrawlings of a madman
Stuck in my head
They aren't meant to be seen
And certainly not read
Insanity through carvings
The life that I led
For the period of time
That I lived my life dead
Black rivers of nonsense
Like the blood that I shed
The words on the paper
Hang by a thread

The scrawlings of a madman
Slain in my bed
Poisonous ink
My appetite fed
Just ****** and repeated
My limp body spread
Crystal white sheets
Now dripping with red
Ripped open too wide
From the places I bled
The logical lunacy
Fills me with dread

The scrawlings of a madman
All wisdom has fled
Turn the next page
And forget what I said
It seems I forgot
The demons I wed
The scrawlings of a madman
Came from my head.
408 · Nov 2017
The Clouds
Vale Luna Nov 2017
Have you ever looked up at the sky
When it was raining
And wondered where the clouds stop?
Because you know
That somewhere across the world
It isn't raining.

So where do the clouds stop?
Is it possible that someone
Is standing right at the edge
Of dry warmth
Gazing out into the cold wetness?

Where do the clouds stop?
Is it possible that someone
Is standing right at the edge
Of where the water falls
Staring out at the daylight?

Where do the clouds stop?
Is it possible to stand
Right at the divide
One hand being hit by raindrops
The other being hit by sun rays?

Where do the clouds stop?

Have you ever looked up at the sky
When it was raining
And wondered when the clouds will stop?
Because you know
That sometime in your future
It won't be raining.
403 · Sep 2017
Say It Again
Vale Luna Sep 2017
A heart torn from yours
               I bled.
               Lost
               And lonely
               Soft whimpers
               I cry
                              “If only”
                              “If only”

Alone with my thoughts
               Buried sins
               Too unholy
               My mind
               In decay
                              If only
                              If only

Drunk off of your skin
               You took my soul
               Slowly
               Leaving me
               Hollow
                              If only
                              If only

Locked in self abuse
               I follow
               Too closely
               My own type
               Of torture
                              If only
                              If only

Gone with the wind
               You left me there
               Coldly
               Naked
               And numb
                              If only
                              If only

My blood on your hands
               I died.
               Lost
               And lonely
               I won't
               Say it again
                             "If only"
                              "..."
387 · May 2017
Looking forward (10w)
Vale Luna May 2017
The future scares me;

So I live each day separately.
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