I am a burst of wind interrupting the gentle breeze

The sweet scent of pecan pie
The bitter stench of bigotry

Asleep in my bed dreaming of you
With every breath that I breathe
I prove this is true

Snoring so loudly I didn't hear
The shatter of glass somewhere near
He came through my window
With one swift kick
Or maybe it was a soft click

Waking with fright
On the calmest of nights
He makes his way to the bed
And places a gun on my head

He orders me to stand
And binds both my hands
"Get down on your knees!"
I hear him decree

He asks where my valuables are
And I answer
"Sir, my only treasure was lost to cancer"

"Shut up!" He says
"I know you've got money!
You must take me for a fool.
Do you think this is funny?"

"No this isn't funny", I reply
"But the truth is I'm a very broke guy
I lost my wife, she was my soul.
Ever since that day
I've never felt whole"

"See, we used all our money
To pay for her care
She went in for treatments
That got us nowhere"

I'm kneeling here now
Seeing no purpose in another day
I wish he'd pull the trigger
I don't want to stay

When he realizes I have nothing
He hits me with the gun
I hear him remark
"Well, boy, it's been fun"

His finger clenches the trigger
I await my fate with glee
Be patient my darling
Your face I'll soon see

I hear the shot before I feel the sting
In that moment I don't feel a thing
Then a thousand volcanoes
Erupt in my brain

Seeing it in the third person now
I look down upon the scene
But what does it all mean?

I see my own head exploding
Covering a picture of us on the wall
In my brain goo
You were always on my mind
Now my mind is on you

You don't want to mess with me
Because I'll mess back and I don't play around
I'm one tough *******
I'll take you down

The streets are my home
My fists are my tools
Guns are for pansies
Knives are for fools

My anger empowers me
To do as I please
With my bare hands
I'll rip out your knees

Spineless vertebrae fear me
For I am the reaper
Of all that is evil
Inside of all people

I fear no human
I eat them alive
The gutters and sewers
Are where I like to hide

I'll sneak in to your home
Rip up your wife
Flee, mortal
I’ve come for your life

My mind is a chasm
Here I lie
Crushed bones and all
At the very bottom

*******
You choke the life out of the person I love. You won't even allow a tap out.
As she's choking, she hates herself.
It's because of you. Why don't you
pick on someone your own ******* size? A person can only take so much. Humanity is a curse.

She wants to die,
More than live.
She loves me.
She hates life.
I love her.
I hate life.
I want to live,
But only with her.
Quite the dilemma.

Rip the spine from your skin
They are that cold
Knife leading the attack
To free you from your soul

You choose your friends
And they choose you
You love them, you hate them
They love and hate you

They stab you in the back
And then twist the knife
To bring the most pain
They’re out for your life

They rip out your heart
Just because they can
Bleed out every part
This is their plan

Drive to the ocean
Toss it in the sea
Takes only a second
To get rid of me

But my memory lives on somewhere

I feel the drumming of my heart
Sometimes that's enough

Silent murmurs escape broken lips.
It is done.
The deed is through.
As I sit in the moonlight,
Accomplishment washes over my pale form.
I finally picked apart your facade,
Revealing every hidden sinew within.
You yearn for solace,
But there simply isn't any.
Everything you ever wanted
Now lies broken at my feet.

From babe's first cry
To happy hour
From beauty of life
Turning sour

Educate
Reciprocate
*******
Reiterate

There must be more
Hidden away
Searching for something
Starting to stray

Anticipation of a first kiss
Expectations of the welcomed bliss

Completion

Entering the work force

Bells tolling
Announcing a union between lovers

Creating a new being
Out of thin air
Only to bring them
Into a world of despair

Growing old and gray
Watching children stray

Seeing them struggle
And internally scream
Powerless to help
Nightmares from a dream

Is this all there is
There has to be more
My life has to mean something

Waves crash to the shore
Stranded out at sea
I look around and find
There is no solace for
What's left of my mind

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
I fade to nothing
As iron turns to rust

Filled picnic basket
Deep sunken casket

But what I want to know is this
*When does the line
Between life
And between death
Become more than fine

They say forgive and forget
But don't you ever forget

I groan as I fumble in bed
Collapse over the rail as I depart
When my feet hit the floor
Every part of my legs ache
I'm not supposed to hurt
I'm in the prime of my life
What is wrong with my body
Then again, what has ever been right

Your argument is invalid
Cause' I have a brain
And two eyes to see
Your pride must be slain

Don't try to tell me
What I already know
And don't play the part
Only for show

Step up, be a man
Say it to my face
You stupid coward
I'll put you in your place

Spit on my brow
I'll snap your spine
Rip open your mouth
You give me a sign

Faker than my smile
More elusive than joy
So many people
Fall into your ploy

Behind my back
Your words find their home
The minds of my friends
Where they now roam

I'll set you on fire
Burning your skin
The only way I know
To confront evil within

You had your chance to turn
Now ******* burn

A smile hides it all
Every feeling deep inside
All the heartache that you carry
It'll take you for a ride

Understood in every language
Yet never makes a sound
It gives the impression that you're happy
When you're hiding back a frown

No one suspects that there's anything more
Could they be mistaken?
Could they be more mistaken?
Nevermore

Under this smile
Lies my demise
It's taking me under
While fooling your eyes

All the bitterness and hatred
I've kept hidden for so long
Now that I know this
It makes me feel strong

It covers up an insult
Holds back your hate
It's a miracle worker
But it can't change your fate

When you're so used to feeling broken,
Feeling whole again probably just feels like a different kind of broken.

When darkness and chaos become home, what used to be home seems to be so far from home that it may as well not exist.

But home is always waiting for you, regardless of where you go or where you've been.

Yes, it will take a lot of effort to get back. But it will be worth it. Just start the journey. You will stray from the path, but that doesn't mean you should give up.

Home can be a house, an idea, a pair of arms wrapped around you, or anything else. Home can take many faces, and, here's the kicker. A lot of times, home never leaves you. You just think it does.

That sense of belonging is there, just buried deep below the surface. Home goes where you go. Home is you, and you are always home.

Foreign emotions
Unwelcome thoughts
Cynical humans
Knuckled bones
Tempestuous relationships
Hardened hearts
Imprisoned potential
S*landerous tongues

Sometimes I feel like I'm boundless

The sky cannot contain me
I shall soar into the infinite expanse
I am free to fly wherever I choose

Then, my heart crashes
Plummeting to the ground

I realize I don't even have wings

If we individually decide we've had enough
If we rise up and do what we want
If we respect each other and ourselves
If we destroy fundamental roles
If we pursue our own dreams
Then, and only then, will change happen
We don't won't change
We have never had that ripping hunger
For things to be different
For if we had, they would already be different
Existence is nothing
We must live

Life has a funny way
Of making you see
That life isn't fair
To you or to me

Tricked and played
Conned and cheated
But hardly defeated
I'll rise above the rest
And give it my best

Scream for my life
As it slowly fades away
All that is left
Is beginning to fray

The rope I've held to
Now barely a thread
But if I let go
I'll soon end up dead

I'm running out of strength
I can't make it on my own
This life is too hard
To try to face alone

Send me a sign
Don't you dare leave me here
Give me your hope
While drawing me near

Paint anti-war posters with blood

Your beauty radiates like a flower in the moonlight
For to me that is the loveliest atmosphere
And you are the loveliest vista
Be my midnight flower
Let us count the years

I will destroy this monster
It beats my kids and my wife
Takes all my money
Ruins my life

The beast won't leave
It won't go away
I must destroy him
He's not welcome to stay

He complicates all the things I hold dear
Torments my souls year after year

Hidden in my closet
Tucked under my bed
As I sleep he waits
To rip off my head

Run but can't hide
From this shell of a man
He's gaining ground now
Soon I'll make my stand

Load my gun
Test the trigger
I've never felt bigger

Line up the sight
Bullet takes flight
Sinks into skin
Buried within
Then I fall to my knees
That monster was me

Everyone has a fix
Drugs, ***, money
Anything at all

My fix is love
It's also my greatest weakness
Until I fell in love
I felt like I could conquer it all
Now, I'm vulnerable

It's odd to think about
One person
The person that is dearest
The person that makes me see clearest

This person; my greatest weakness
This person brings me down to size
This person dominates my thoughts
My dreams, and aspirations

This solitary person is my solace
And I am okay with that

We try so hard to understand everyone but ourselves

I write words of hope for others, yes
But, truth be known
It's also for myself
The sanguine, the passion
It's mostly for me
You see, I hate all that I am
All that I was
All that I am becoming
I hate it
So I write
I write what I feel
Not what I am
I write what I wish were true
I write what I long for
I write because if I didn't
Tell me, who would?

*******
I wonder what you taste like
I want your nails to caress me
And your arms to surround me
I want to pull you close
And show you every ***** thought
I want to make your fantasies reality
I want you to want me
I need you to want me

The pillow kisses my face
As I only wish you could

They tore into me
Now I rip myself apart
Put myself back together
Pieces are missing
*No one will know

My stomach ties itself in knots
My tongue becomes a brick
My hands tremor
My eyes sting
My skin crawls
My mind wanders
My heart drops
My will fades
Yet I do nothing
I'm lying here
Powerless

Every time I write
It starts in a good way
Sooner rather than later
It begins to decay
By the last word
It's as black as my soul
No longer a diamond
Now a fresh piece of coal

More evil than Satan
Don't you even start hatin'
Always bringing me down
Far under the ground
I’m six feet underground
Hear that empty sound
It's the noise my chest makes
As blood circles around

Thanks to you I'm now heartless
You crushed all my spirit
Don't start with your ****
I don't want to hear it
Spilling from your lips
The truth is denied
Back out of that corner
There's nowhere to hide

You made me what I now am
It's crystal to see
You lied every time
You said you loved me
I told the truth every time
Every kiss was sincere
Now I'm wasting away
Hiding in fear

What did I do
To deserve all this pain
I drained every drop
Of blood from my veins
Slice into my arm
I'll cause myself harm
This is all the memory of you
Pushes me to do

This is the end
We'll never be friends
You had your chance
Never again
Always keep an eye open
Never turn your back
Don't give me a reason
I won't hesitate to act

End of your move
Game, set, and match
I never look back
Batten down the hatch
Now it's my turn
Get the ammo, load the gun
I'm on my way now
Run, girl, run

I have been fighting
An ever pointless war
My heart was ripped away
Ripped right from the core
Your whispered words
Shredded away
No longer alive
No breath left to stay

Behind the mask
It’s your face I see
I won’t let myself forget
But I will always regret
I’ll always be the shadow
Lurking behind your door
Waiting to throw you
Down to the floor

Run, now
Get out of my face
I've finally had enough
This is the end of your race

I cast my cares away
Like stones skidding
Upon the surface
Of a limitless river

Sometimes,  the end isn't so abrupt
Sometimes,  it just fades in
Sometimes, it's not over
Sometimes,  it is just anew

I exist far beneath the floor boards
I'm an apparition
Dragging my way through halls
Carrying the weight of the world
And the weight of nothing
I feel nothing
I recollect nothing
I'm not sure I even am

I think the longest allocation of time
Is that moment between when our eyes meet and when our lips meet

The past has a special way of holding on to you, even when you try to let it fade. It's like a leech ******* happiness away. You're doing well and then, one day, you remember what you used to be like. Or you remember people that you used to know. And then, you realize you know nothing about them. They could be dead. And then you start to question whether you care if they're dead or not. Then, you think of graphic ways they could die. Now comes the worst part. The self-hatred for letting your mind go there. You loathe yourself entirely for being that disgusting. You don't even know why you feel that way. But, suddenly, you remember what they did to make you feel that way. All at once, the feelings of hate, confusion, and anger come at you in a torrent of fury. You then forget how to feel anything but those emotions. The past still has you.

The shapeless void beckons me
I take a step forward
Unsure of what is to be
My footing fails me
I plummet.
Or do I rise?