You look in the mirror, and admire your face.
For once in your life, you don't feel out of place.
Then you head off to school, and something has changed.
You feel ugly, and weird, and so very strange.
People are watching you. Or do they even know you're there?
People are judging you. Or do they even care?
Then you go home and stare at your reflection and see,
That all along you've been as pretty as can be.

Once she was a blank canvas, ready to be taught.
But when she stepped outside, in the storm she was caught.
She signed up for the battle, and in the war she fought.
She wanted to have happiness, and love is what she sought. 

So she sacrificed her innocence to see the bright blue sky.
But instead she found a raging storm, just outside.
The storm took her, became her... and promised she wouldn't die.
So she trusted it, only to see... It was all a lie.

And people started painting themselves upon her skin.
So she adopted all their evil ways. Soaked them in.
Then she became a new girl, full of fateful sins.
Although, in her mind, the storm blew over... And her group did win.

But what happened to honesty, integrity, and truth?
Where was her real self? The memories were few.
Instead she lived a false life that others for her drew.
She forgot living inside, she just did what others do.

Her past was all forgotten.
Her love, in fact, did die.
That awful storm she was caught in,
Left her a perfect painting of lies.

Silence is the sound of thinking.
Lonely thoughts, slowly sinking.
Darkness drowning the haze of outside.
Silence clouding the girl who wants to hide.

Smiling, genuine and bright.
Smiling, only seeing the light.
Smiling, never seeing the hurt.
Smiling, then getting kicked in the dirt.

Forgotten, left to rot and decay.
Forgotten, left to wither away.
Forgotten, forever and ever alone.
Forgotten, though sadness not shown.

Crying, full of mounds of fear.
Crying, nobody close to hear.
Crying, unable to stand on my own.
Crying, forever and ever alone...

Drowning, in my pond of tears.
Drowning, breathless, for years and years.
Drowning, choking on pain and guilt.
Drowning... Breaking the walls that had just been built.

Have you ever felt your heart sink
Felt your words escape your lips
Seen clouds that force you not to think
And felt caught under whips

Stinging your skin, pounding in your head
Trying so hard not to cry
Feeling empty, dull, and dead
And you have no idea why

Pain etched into my bones.
A dull emptiness in my chest.
A tight knot in my throat.

Hopelessness bleeding from my eyes.
Clawing at my mind.
Scratching at my skin.

Butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
Making me sick.
Stopping my breath.

Your issues don't push me away, they only make me numb.
Writing poems you'll never see.
Wondering if you remember me.

Heartache is worse than heartbreak sometimes.
For I wish I had your answer.

All I could see was the pond just ahead.
Still and motionless, a peaceful blue bed.
All I could see were the trees swaying slow,
Carrying a breeze and the thoughts they know.
All I could see was the grass dancing smooth,
Green and delicate, a sight fit to soothe.
All I could see was the clear blue sky above,
And all I could feel was astounding love.

All I could hear was the wind blowing soft,
My mind cleared, and my mind shut off.
All I could hear were the birds humming sweetly,
A beautiful sound, language flowing discreetly.
All I could hear was the breathing earth,
My mind deep in the roots of death and birth.
All I could hear was the silence alive,
And all I could feel was the heartbeat of life.

Excitement dancing in my heart,
A flutter, a butterfly, a gentle spark.
For giving and getting, it's just the start.
Of forgiving and forgetting until I'm left in the dark.

The season of snow, so white, so pure.
It's here at last, but not forever.
The gifts will vanish in time, I'm sure.
The real present is to keep loving, like we were.

For soon the tree will be all bare,
The presents gone like they were never even there.
Be sure to be kind, and love, and care.
Because that's what matters, that's what's fair.

At last hold on to my true words,
Remember them, as they were.
Keep in mind what you have heard.
The gift is you, and that I'm sure.

I thought you were cruel
But now you seem broken
I thought you were a fool
But now you seem kind

Mama, don't leave me.
I hate to be alone.
What if you leave me,
and never come home.

Papa, don't leave me.
I'm scared, and anxious too.
What if you leave me,
and I never get to say goodbye to you.

I must say farewell,
I must say I love you.
For I'm afraid I'll never tell,
When I'll ever lose you.

Please, don't leave me.
I hate the unknown.

Words so empty they're spilling out.
Foggy like the stormy clouds.
Heart a sure test of torture.
Constant like waves on a shore.

"How it used to be"

Deja vu is coming back to me.
Memories of how it used to be.
Hugs, laughs. That used to be past.
Laying in the grass. It's all coming back.

Friendship re-rolling, tapes replaying.
Ignoring what the voices in my head are saying.
I'm scared that history will repeat.
I'm scared it'll go back to how it used to be.


"Friends?"

Pinch myself, but I know I'm awake.
Brace myself for another heartbreak.
The shivers on my spine, I simply can't shake.
Is this real life, or is it all fake?


"It All Worked Out"

It all worked out,
In the blink of an eye.
It all worked out,
And I want to cry.

It's a happy ending,
It feels like a dream.
It's a happy ending,
And I want to scream.

You tremble under the weight of my fingertips,
My delicate touch too much for you.
You shiver at the harsh phrase from my lips,
My poison words too sure for you.

You smile amidst your pleading cries,
Clear streaks running down your ruddy cheeks.
You have hope despite the pain in your eyes,
To still believe in me proves you're weak.

My mind is in shackles,
My head is a whirlwind.
How can I replace you,
You've only just broken.

I'm broken as well,
Shattered and cracked.
All I can do is die,
To get you back.

You said you'd stay. You said you would.
You said you'd always stay by me if you could.

You said you loved me. You said you cared.
You said you'd hold me close when I got scared.

You said you were leaving. You said you'd come back.
You said I didn't need to help you pack.

You said goodbye. You said see you soon.
You said look up, that you'd be on the moon.

You said whenever I needed you near,
You said "Look at the sky, and my whispers you'll hear"

You said to watch the sunset, and wait for the night.
You said you'd be beyond the stars, just look at the light.

You promised so many things, when I was young.
But you're dead. You never said...
Now with liars, I'm done.

Tell me, is it really worth it?
To push, and ****, and cry, and hurt, and yell, and shout, and shove me in the dirt?

Tell me, is it really love?
To pressure, and manipulate, and press til I suffocate?

Tell me, are you really right?
When you say you love everyone, but I know you've got hate for some.

Tell me, is it really fair?
To judge, and shun, and never be done?

Tell me, do I have to leave? Just because... I don't believe?

Little girl, no strength in her heart.
Little girl, so weak she's falling apart.

Quiet girl, no words on her tongue.
Quiet girl, speaks to no one.

Lonely girl, a flicker of a candle.
Lonely girl, she can't even handle.

Invisible girl, a ghost in the dark.
Invisible girl, not even a spark.

Useless girl, breathing, wasting air.
Useless girl, no one will ever care.

Little girl, incapable of what?
Little girl, you call me, but,
I have words and I have love.
From your names, I'll rise above.

I can think, I can create.
And hopelessness is not my fate.

A little girl is not all I am.
I won't die blindly like a lamb.
I'll die in paper I'll never share.
All because you didn't care...

Blue eyes, blue eyes, bright and true.
Shining, smiling, oh so blue.
Blue eyes, blue eyes, don't see me.
A reminder we can never be.

Different minds and different views.
Different lies and different truths.
Blue eyes, blue eyes, don't see mine.
Green and broken and lost in past time.

pressing on my chest with a suffocating force.
burning eyes, under firey skies, throat tight and coarse.
melodies slipping, through the scars on my skin
a melancholy heartache from the worry within.
two worlds
colliding as we finally touch,
but why does crying hurt so much?

As graceful as a winged bird,
Soaring in the sky.
I wish to join their gorgeous herd,
Oh I wish to fly!

The knives that struck my body,
I don't feel the pain anymore.
But the marks still paint my skin,
To remind me what I rise for.

To show the strength I have,
That I healed myself alone.
That I fought through the great pain.
And my broken skin, I've sewn.

But the scars will stay forever.
So I know I fought the war.
And battles keep on coming,
To remind me what I rise for.

If you keep on tugging me,
This way, that way.
I feel I may just break completely.

I want to be alone.
I want to disappear.
I don't need your worried tone.
I don't need you here.

I want to wither away,
And wallow in grief.
There's no reason that I'm sad today.
So stop. Let me be, please.

There was a little dream last night, that I had.

About guns, and ******, and everything bad.

It was scary and painful and so very sad.

A shame I woke up to a world no more glad.

Freedom of speech,
Freedom of thoughts.
Freedom to believe,
Freedom to not.

Pressure pressing down on me,
Pushing down, pushing down.
Pressure and I cannot breathe.
Sinking down, sinking down.

Pressure weighing down on me,
Pushing down, pushing down.
Pressure and I'm suffocating.
Sinking down, please save me now.

I climb through the window,
Just to bring you back.
I tell you "Come on, wake up.
I'll stay to help you pack."

And once you are ready,
It's time, let's go.
We'll fly above the city.
Until we make it to the meadow.

And I sing, "Run away darling.
Make this place your own.
We'll travel to the meadow.
This is now your home.

Oh, run away darling.
Remember freedom's song.
Stay here for eternity.
I'll be back, I won't be long."

Then I soar back to the city,
To get another child to stay.
I beckon them to come with me,
And tell them "Run away!"

My flower grows, my flower grows.
Up and up, it rose and rose.
To the sun and through the trees.
Past the grass and past the seas.
Up and up, it grew so high.
Finally my flower reached the sky.

Three words have never meant so much.
Three words I cannot say.
Three words have made me cold to the touch,
Three words I'll never say.

Your smile sends a shiver
All along my spine.
It ripples like a river,
And makes me believe you're mine.

Your humor shakes a mountain,
Even earth you can make laugh.
Jokes flowing like a fountain,
And splits me right in half.

You're charming, oh so charming,
As you stare into my soul.
Your kindness is alarming,
As you sew me back to whole.

You act as though we're fate,
But you never say.
Nor do I, for I wait,
Day after day.

If all the stars fell from the sky
If they scattered the ground and escaped the night
If the sky turned dark without any light
If the earth picked up the stars and threw them high

Would the stars go back into space
Would the stars get back in their place
Or would the stars come falling back down
Leaving the night sky bare, and covering the ground

Pieces of light falling from a black night
Illuminating the earth and the path where we step
The stars sparkling bright, such a beautiful sight
Never to return up to the sky

Blue as the night sky, or the stormy sea.
Blue as the moon, staring down at me.
Bright as the starlight sparkling the sky.
Bright like your eyes, blue like the tears you cry.

Essentially, you do not care.
Precisely why I'm standing there.
A lonely half of a broken pair.
While you're content, it's only fair.

Essentially, you do not see.
The simple way that you hurt me.
A far-fetched possibility.
While you're unaware, happy.

Music echoing in the dark.
A little light, a single spark.
Snow slowly drifting down.
Enveloping this little town.
Everybody laughs and sings.
Oh, what joy Christmas brings.

Opening gifts with love and joy.
Getting what they wanted, that brand new toy.
Happiness is all they know.
But what about outside, freezing in the snow?

Who's out here, all alone?
On this cold winter's night, buried in the snow.
Who's shivering in the cold?
Crying, crying... Nobody to hold.

I wish, I wish I had... Oh, the joy of Christmas.

When I laugh so hard, I cry...
Joy sprinkling from my eyes.
It's these moments I hold on to,
Each time that I am with you.

My chest aches for someone I've known for seven years.
But knowing you so long doesn't mean I know your heart.
It's been ages since we've even spoken, and it's obviously clear
That for whatever reason, without you, I might just fall apart.

You've probably forgotten me, and for that I do not blame you.
But my mind wanders to thoughts of you every time I go to bed.
Why is that, I do not know, it's painful but it's true
That for whatever reason, without you, I might as well be dead.

I've carried a boulder,
It's weighed me down.
I've got bruises on my shoulders,
And blood on my crown.

My hands are cut and shaking,
My knees trembling with fear.
I feel my body breaking,
And I sneak a single tear.

Laughter echoes in my mind.
Smiles reflect off of all four walls.
Memories of being left behind.
But still, the darkness calls.

People are just outside the door.
They're an arm's reach away.
I could leave and feel so much more.
But still, I seem to stay.

It's my fault, I never leave.
I'm broken, right to the bone.
All I ever do is grieve.
Forever lonely, never alone.

The stars in the sky,
As they sparkle like your eyes...
Black rimmed, deep blue, glistening white.

Reflecting in your eyes,
I see the whole night...
The moon, the planets, the light far up high.

And even when you cry,
The night is glossy on your eyes...
As you so pitifully gaze into mine.

Won't you save her, won't you try?
You wouldn't let this angel die.
Don't you see the devastation in her eyes?
Don't you hear her helpless cries?

As she begs you to come near,
Won't you come? Don't you hear?
You wouldn't leave behind this dear.
You wouldn't ignore all her fear.

But, you do, you walk away.
Despite her weeping calls to stay.
You are heartless, cold, you may
Not leave behind this child, I pray.

Guilt will win as you watch her break.
She's desperate, for goodness sake.
She reaches out, she shakes your bones.
She begs for you to take her home.

People poke and **** and shout in my ear.
But I don't feel a thing, and their screams I don't hear.
For, numbness comes after hurting too much.
And you simply become numb to the touch.

I miss the crowds of people,
All knowing my name.
I miss the chance I didn't see,
The one I didn't take.

I miss the friends I used to have,
People knowing me.
I miss the blissful life I lived,
For now I'm quite lonely.

You're beautiful, I'll tell you.
Because no one else will.
You're wonderful, I'll tell you.
You're too precious to ****.

You've got a life to live,
The whole world to see.
So I'll do a favor,
I will set you free.

You don't see the tears I've shed.
You don't see the blood I've bled.
You don't see the scars I hide.
You can't count the times I've tried.

You don't know the pain I feel.
You don't know the secrets I seal.
You don't know the strength I lack.
You don't know I want you back.

You can't feel the guilt in my heart.
You can't feel that we've fallen apart.
You can't feel that I'm not strong.
You can't feel it, I can't go on.

My heart is torn, and has gone bleak.
My body's crumbled, and now I'm too weak.
You're not here to catch me when I fall.
And you'll never hear my hopeful calls.

I miss you, I need you now.
I want you back, but I don't know how.
I still don't know why you left me.
But you're blind now, my pain you can't see.