My daughter
You are Beautiful
Always
          -God

This not so dark cave
I go to train
To practice and learn
To obey and help
To practice my skills
that I have harnessed
From kicks to punches
I release my energy
Sometimes
I come angry
other days I came happy
When I leave
I am always filled with peace
so relaxed as I should be

Women
A flower
So beautiful
That throughout time
She slowly begins to bloom
Slowly opening up to the world around her
And with the slow revealing
Seeing more and more of her beauty
Beacuse the outside
Doesn't matter
As much as the inside does
For we not only help ourselves
But the bees
Our friends
For our pollen we have
But for some
We are cut and trimmed
To be given
To someone special
To make a day
Or to remember
But like all else
Slowly withers
A life
Well lived
But never forgotten
By loved ones

Close your eyes and Imagine this
Morning comes and ready to wake
Darkness
It’s all you see
You say you’re dreaming
You’re not
somehow your colorful world
turned black
you call for anyone
no one responds
remembering all are at work
you try and remember
your room
your reflection
everything

Your heart pounding
your mind and body in panic mode
you struggle trying to find your phone
to call for help
takes minutes on minutes
everyone thinks it’s a joke
for it is April 1st
to stumble from one room to another
slowly remembering where
what everything looks like
breaking down to cry
for it is all you can do

Making your way to the kitchen for some food
The easiest is cereal
For fewest things are required
The day passes and
All you can do is sit and think
On anything and everything

It’s close to bedtime
For your eyes are getting heavy
You close your eyes
When the whole day it already felt
As if you never opened them

Morning comes but afraid to open
You do so admitting you’re now blind
And will begin to adjust
You open
Color?
The room?
Your reflection?

What if for one day you were blind?

Relax, my child
Everything is going to be okay
For I have everything under control

When you ask me what I am doing
If am bored
Or doing nothing
My response to you will be
Breathing

My brokenness
Pieces of me
Being put back together
By you, God
Piece by piece you put me together
Showing me the way of where to go
My pieces
The map
I cannot see it so
I rely on you to show me the way
Once I find my way
With your help
My pieces are slowly getting glued back together
One by one and
Once I hit the end of my adventure
My pieces are glued forever
As if I was never broken
For in you I am found perfect
With you I am found perfect
Because that is how you see me
Perfect and unbroken

Trust me they said
In thinking that I could
Met with hurt instead
Eventually, will time heal my wounds?

Eyes like the galaxies
You cannot help but lose your thought
A smile that warms your heart
To the core
That you get so nervous
You still cannot remember
What you wanted to say
You look over their shoulder
For your thought process to begin again
You clear your throat
Look down
Deep breath
Just relax and
Let’s try this again

Like a giant cotton ball
Moving at its own pace
In the giant blue ocean above our heads
Of many shapes and many sizes
Thick to thin
Streched and clumped
One color
To some
Making it like cotton candy
depending on the morning or night
An hombre of colors
Making them pop
As if in a pop up book
Light and white
Or darker and grey
Being filled with rain
Ready to cry on the earth
To water the lands below
Most times you are there
And sometimes you are not
But when you are up there
Floating around
Making shapes
I could sit or lay down
And look up all day

Every morning we wake up
get out of bed
Get dressed
Eat some breakfast
But I want to ask you this
What kind of breakfast do you have?
Do you have a bagel with some cream cheese?
Or a bowl of frosted flakes
Yea it may be the important meal of the day
For your physical health
That is
But what about your spiritual health?
Does your soul thirst for God’s loving words?
Do you long to take ten or twenty minutes out of your day
To read His words that he gave to us
And to spend time with him
Or do you forget about it and say
“I’ll read tomorrow I know will”
And the next day passes and you say the exact same thing
And it continues as each day passes by and by
You start to lose your taste for the truth we all need to hear
For the love we want to hear and feel from our heavenly father
We should be dead because of how much we don’t read His word
How much we don’t talk to him
How much we push him to the sidelines
When He longs for us to spend hours telling Him everything
Whether good or bad
He wants to hear our voices praising Him
Uplifting others around us everyday
We are alive when
We know Him and continue to know more and more
Until we fall over from being stuffed of food
That we can’t get up but think and ponder until we fall fast asleep
And dreaming about what we just learned
And what we chatted about
That’s what I want to dream of
I want to wake up and the first thing I think of is
God
And say
I am coming to my secret place to meet with you
To feast on your word
To memorize
To dig deeper than I have ever dug before
To just spend a whole day with you
Others will ask me where I have been
I’ve been trying to get a hold of you
I will be oh yea
Well I have been busy getting to know my Father
And drawing closer to him
I can just hear His voice when He is speaking to me
I spend so much time I don’t care for all this worldly stuff
In the world because it will all just disappear
But I will go out one day and tell everyone what I have learned
I want others to know who God is
What he can do
Because there is no one else like God
Who is and was able to send His only son
As the payment for our sins
So one day we are able to come home
Hear
“Well done my good and faithful servant”
That is what I want to hear
I want to wake up and thirst for my Father’s words to me
I want to hear everything he has to tell me
I don’t want to miss one word
But to take it all in and tell everyone I see
I want us to wake up starving for spiritual food
That’s what I want
I don’t want to hear
But what do you want?
I’ll be praying for you all, to long for what I long for
And to wake up thirsty and hungry for the truth
And
To have the chance to make someone’s day better
To start the day of with a positive attitude
And Joy
With a beautiful smile for all to see
And the others to see the light in you because
There is just something different about you
Be different with the light in you everyday

A smell so divine
My heart skips a beat
With a smile as big
As the east is from the west
With a beat so unique
Each and everytime

The sight so beautiful
I could dance outdoors
With a strobe light in the sky
And booming drums to follow
Echoing in my chest

My mind is running blank
As if quicksand absorbs all my thoughts and sank
Wonder if that's what life feels like
When things are falling apart

My mind is running blank
As if quicksand absorbs all my thoughts and sank
and my voice, my speech
slipping through the cracks like sand on the beach
I cannot write for my ink is out in my pen
and my thoughts are stuck in my den
I feel like I have lost my voice
but I still have a choice
I need to continue walking the path
but of course I don't need any math
because that would be absurd
Or am I insane that I just want to be heard

Friends?
I don't have any
Enemies?
Everyone
Why?
Nobody is perfect
Someone is going to hurt you
Lies
Gossip
Cheat
Or just leave you for good
Don't trust anyone
Not even yourself

What a good percent of people
see as negative
and a small percent as positive
but if I could change your mind
with one phrase
I will
Failure is the foundation to success
let me say that again
but slower
Failure
is the foundation
to success

let me explain
if you choose to try something
anything
you have never done before
you are bound to make mistakes and fail
now if you are determined
and not ready to give up
you will keep going till you succeed

so in order to succeed
you need to fail
failure is how we learn
success is not

Now don't get me wrong
I love to succeed
on my first try
but where is the fun in that
when you don't learn
unless you have failed
to where you have now somewhat perfected
what you were working so *******
then all is well

let me throw another example your way
babies learning to walk
prime example of not giving up
why?
because even though you may not have realized
you failed so many times
because you were so determined to succeed
to stay on your own two feet and walk
you realized that when you dragged your foot
and fell that, that was not going to work
so you try and move faster
even though you can't do so slowly
and you fall
again
so unconsciously put the two together
so you can then stay up and move forward

so if you are ever stuck
try combining things that worked
even though you failed
till you can come up with a way
to succeed
because eventually
you will nail it
and you will succeed
if you just push yourself
and tell yourself that
I can do this
never saying
I can't do this
because a negative mindset
will not get you anywhere
stay positive
and realize that
Falling Again Is Learning

Help me, I'm hurting
Another day of smiles
Prepared for the best and worst
Planning an unknown future
Your happiness matters most to me

Hiding my pain behind a smile
Everyday convincing myself that
Life will get better, this is just a
Phase. Soon I can be real
Masks aside
Eventually

She is just like me
I had wanted her but I rarely pay attention to her
She sits and looks for someone to pay attention to her
Yet she will get some and then nothing
Ignored
Feeling replaced
Rejected
Unloved
Probably thinking I’d be better of alone and out of everyone’s way
Just pay attention to me
Just invite me in
Don’t leave me outside in the cold
Talk to me
Don’t just glance at me every now and then
And saying hey or something relating to the conversation
Minutes pass and I’m still as quiet as a mouse
My mind starts to wander
My heart starts to sink
My eyes just want to make a river
Take me in
Love me
As a friend
A sister
Walk with me
Talk with me
Play with me
Make me smile
Laugh
Just stop
Making me cry
And feeling left out and
Alone and
Unloved
I am like her and she is like me
We are the same in many ways
But in all its changed me and maybe her

I know that no matter where i am
I can always say to my Father
Up daddy up
And feel his arms around me
Holding me tight
Calming my nerves
As i focus on Him
Being held in his arms
That are always open

How do you say you're sorry
to someone you love
right after you just stabbed them in the heart
With so sharp of words that it dug deep
You want able to be able to take it right away
But the knife sticks
And you dont fully catch what you said till minutes pass
Feeling so guilty
Stomach is churning
You just feel sick
How do you say your sorry
When it may be to late
Is forgiveness even an option
Wont know till you ask
Just hope for the best I guess

Now I have thought about this for a long time but recently
I asked and figured it out because I was confused on how it worked
You see in the end of Romans eight it tells us
That nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus
But in Galatians five in the end of verse 21
It says after listing the works of the flesh and that if do such things
We will not inherit the kingdom of God
I wondered how that could be because it just said in Romans
Nothing will or can separate us from the love of God
And Galatians that doing the works of the flesh even though we are saved
Cannot inherit the kingdom of God
But let us go back to Romans but back a chapter to seven
It says
“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin who dwells within me… Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.”
So it’s not us?
Yes but no because it’s our flesh
But if we commit sin and know we are committing it then it sin
Because we know the right thing to do but fail to do it
But going back to my main thought
We can go to first John and it tells us that
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”
We are confessing our sins to God
We are admitting that what we did was wrong
We are asking for forgiveness
We ask for forgiveness and can still inherit the kingdom of God
Why?
Because we are his and he calls us each by name in Isaiah
It says
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.”
We are His
We are no longer conforming
Or we shouldn’t be conforming any longer to this world
We became aliens once we let Jesus in
He is alive
In us
We are a new creation the old has gone the new has come
So what are you waiting for?
Get out there and be different
Don’t just say you’re a Christian or a Christ follower
Live it out
You are a child of God
So nothing in all of creation can ****** you away from the hand of God.

I always mean it when I say I
Got you, Because I do
Otherwise who would I be
To lie to you. I wish not to
You make me smile without trying
Oh, doing things for you
Undoubtedly comes easy

I understand now

Looking at you
Only able to see you
Venturing for more
Even though I've given so much

You clearly don't want me But,
Only as a friend
Until I hope that one day you see

I miss you always
Loving everyday
Outside alone or by my side
Very quiet to being talkative
Everyday I came home You greeted me
You loved the belly rubs
One and only, my baby
Undeniably my greatest, best friend