My Other half-
You are the one I am lucky enough to call my best friend
To spend my years with
To fall over my stumbling feet
Into your arms
How much I adore you is beyond words
I would walk through hell over and over again just to get to you
Your hugs make me feel safe and at home
Our moments of being completely
Silly and random
With laughter to go around
Day after day
To be kids together
Work out
And many adventures
My vows to you
Will over time be met and went beyond and added to what I vow to you.
My one and only
-Me

Impossible
what is impossible?
Learning to walk after an injury
passing a test in a class you're struggling in
Or learning to love yourself when others do not
achieving your goal when even you think you can't
or raise your children alone because they left you or passed away too soon
Score a goal or hit a home run you try so hard but cut yourself short
is all that and more impossible?
No!
How do I know?
Because you are stopping yourself and making it impossible
you are the one who needs to take those steps
to move forward
To Push yourself and tell yourself that you can do it
no one else can do it for you
they may help you get started
but that's it
after that you need to drink the water
you need to believe

if it is truly impossible
then ask the one who laughs at the Impossible
because to Him nothing is impossible and everything is possible with Him
and with faith
For He heals the sick
The broken hearted
The diseases that to us are incurable
The broken bones
The moving of mountains
The calming of the storms
The addictions we ourselves can't overcome

So I ask you again
what is impossible?
or should I say why are you limiting yourself
and saying you can't
when really you can
whether it is by yourself
or with God's help

We are told them everyday and
Believe them more than anything
Even when thought of protecting

In this life
We have one shot
One chance
To make the best of it

In this life we all have a choice
To follow God
Or turn the other cheek ( or way)
And do what we want
With no help
Except for some who or close to us
Family and a few friends

In this life
We can choose to be spoon fed everything
Like a mother bird feeding her young ones
And stay a baby
Or we can learn from others
Like Timothy learns from Paul
And later be a Paul who teaches Timothy

In this life
We can choose to do right
By not just yourself
But by others
So that when we pass
Good word will be passed down to others about us

In this life
We can choose to make a difference
Good
Like Jesus did who led by good example
Or bad
Like Lucifer when he thought his way was best and led to destruction and lies instead

In this life
Are many choices
Good or bad
Right and wrong
Like the act or s a t test
We all take in school

In this life
We can be alone or
Find friends to take this journey on with
Like those guys who have played tag
Ever since they have been in school
And Still play today

In this life
We have one chance
One shot
To make the most out of our life
So choose your choices wisely
For we cannot all go back and change our answer.

To live is to be

Without fear
For it has but one cure

To be everyday happy
May include being whacky

To travel without a care
And to look at the beauty with a stare

To live and be free
To your life is the key

When I was younger
I would think
when I grow and hit my teen years
I could start wearing make up
I would get excited
anytime someone did my make up
As I grew older I no longer
longed to want to wear make up
for my mother told me
you look beautiful
without all that make up on
you look beautiful
Just the way you are

As I grew older
even through high school
I never wore make up
Unless it was for a dance
that my friends would then do my make up for me
For if I did my own make up
Which I was capable of putting it on
but making it look good
was the real question
No I probably couldn't
maybe with a ton of practice
but I didn't want to put the time in
to learning something new
that I didn't real care for
because I was
I am
Confident
going to school
college
out in public
On a date
oh and yes even at home
everyday
of my life
without a drop on

You see though
the thing is
I didn't get many compliments
of
you're beautiful
minus my mom
or you look gorgeous
or did I ever tell you
you look amazing without
that mask on
no
I never did except a couple times
now I am not fishing for compliments
Please tell me when you mean it and
not to make me feel better
but when I do get a compliment
I never really know what to say
I sometimes feel like I need to give
a compliment right back
but really at times I will say
thank you or stay silent and smile
I have had people tell me
you should wear make up
you will look beautiful
and then I would love to say
so I look ugly without this make up on?
I don't need to be told
But sometimes just hearing
Those compliments
Makes my day
Any girl you think doesn't get complimented much
Find something real and meaningful to say and
Compliment her
For it could really make her day
And put a smile on her face
But don't ever compliment her
And never mean it

My question for you all is this
why do so many people get married
and then so many years later
Divorce?
why do so many people take the easy way out
instead of trying to pick up the pieces
to put them back together again?
why do we make these vows
to be kept till the parting ways of death
to throw them on the ground,
make vows again
and hopefully
just maybe, keep them
For marriage is to last till the end of the age
For marriage does end in age
Right?
See, I can understand
your boyfriend or girlfriend
ending in some months or years
because they both end in end.
Some to most are lucky
to have their dating stage
end but to begin again in marriage
Now that relationships surviving till death
is an end of the age relationship

Now for those who think marriage is going to be
a piece of cake
well think again
your married now
you have promises to uphold
fights to mend
pieces to pick up
so try and start seeing things from
their perspective and things might go better than expected
some advice for you to
take or let it run through both ears
that is up to you
so when you think
about making vows to someone
make sure you are willing to fight
and do anything
to make it last till death do you part

To whom ever finds this bottle
My message is to you
I want to say now
I'm sorry If It sounds like I'm venting
But really I just want to tell someone
What's on my mind
And a little about me
But not know who I am telling
For some reason
That is comforting

I myself am not the brightest bulb
And I may make you want to
Hit your head against a wall
Sometimes many in a day
Because I spoke faster than my mind
Was thinking
My mind is weird
For if you ask something of me
I know I can do it
But yet my mind has a panic mode
And in a way forgets how to do it
Or the item you wanted me to grab
I question it for some reason
Even though I shouldn't have

So yea I am not all that smart
Sometimes I feel really ******
And just worse than dirt
And it's hard because I know
I am
Smarter
And better than that

I do have my moments though
Where I don't always think, rather act first
But it manages to put a smile on your
Face and make you giggle
That usually helps to make me feel better
But thinking back I feel dumb
But remember that I made you smile
And so I smile

I try my best to do better
For I love learning new things
And doing anything
That sounds different
Or fun
And an adrenaline rush
I will say yes to
Because that is such an amazing thrill

I may not always make sense
And sometimes I struggle
Putting together my thoughts into sentences
I get there eventually
But I get there

So if you're okay knowing
this little Bit about me
I hope this message
in this bottle
In your hands
Finds me
But if you do not wish
To want to know me
Then toss me back
Message in bottle
for someone new to find

The worlds mirrors

Are the lakes below

Reflecting all that is above

A choice i once made
Gave me this feeling
Of discomfort
A feeling that never sat right with me
For some reason this feels
Like a stay or go
Stay with me or be free from me
I hurt
But i know you ache with pain
That should not be there in the first place
Im sorry
And if forgiveness is not an option
Then to be free it must be
For to move forward
We need forgiveness and to move on
To leave it in the past
I promise to you
That I want only you till I die
My mistakes
Are stupid
And i know who i have and how much
You mean to me
So to lose you
Would be too much
That my mistake
Would be the breaking of your heart
And mine

Make your move
Own all you do
Understanding is helpful
Never back down
Take your chances
Aim your arrow
Inhale and release
No hesitation
Seeing it through to the end

Made my thoughts known
Out loud over text
Very nervous
Even though I knew your answer
**** as you are
Time is what you need
And I let you have it
You know where to find me

My child
Do you trust me?
Then take my hand

My life is like a keyboard in
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
I try and Esc those who are poison to my life
where I just need to Tab and skip ahead a week
or maybe a month
that doesn't always work so I try and find an Alt way
if all fails
push through to the End
Shift to the new chapter
and delete them from your life
phone
social media and all
I like to enter into a long dream
so I can wake up and start over
some days feel like I am on caps lock and everything is drastic
or way too exciting I just need to scroll down a bit to save some energy for the rest of the day
Some days I need not be alone
but to insert myself into healthy groups
full of positive vibes and energy
if I stay with healthy relationships
my f8 should be well off
but don't quote me on that
if I ever get to crazy
feel free to tell me to backspace
and just chill
I don't want my life to be just okay & full of JK's
but rather full of spontaneous adventures
while trying not to be a jailbird one day
I know we belong together
for that is why W and E are next to each other
like U and I
but don't #perfect us for we are like many others
so if you could let me clear my mind
and focus that would be great
for I am @ a point
where I shouldn't be worried about $$
and the % I make
to help do things for you and I
because it isn't about
money but taking
one letter one word at a time

My life is like a keyboard explained to you in
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
You see life isn't always perfect
Or easy going but can be rough & will be
For when it does
I try and Esc those who are poison to my life
where I just need to Tab and skip ahead a week
or maybe a month
that doesn't always work so I try and find an Alt way
if all fails
push through to the End
Shift to the new chapter 
and delete them from your life
phone 
social media and all
You see, Sometimes, subtracting people is perfect
But adding new people to your life
Can be even better and much more so rewarding
I like to enter into a long dream 
so I can wake up and start over
some days feel like I am on caps lock and everything is drastic 
or way too exciting I just need to scroll down a bit to save some energy for the rest of the day
Some days I need not be alone
but to insert myself into healthy groups
full of positive vibes and energy
if I stay with healthy relationships
my f8 should be well off
but don't quote me on that
if I ever get to crazy
feel free to tell me to backspace 
and just chill
I don't want my life to be just okay & full of JK's 
but rather full of spontaneous adventures
while trying not to be a jailbird one day
I know we belong together
for that is why W and E are next to each other
like U and I
but don't #perfect us or we are like many others
so if you could let me clear my mind
and focus that would be great
for I am @ a point
where I shouldn't be worried about $$
and the % I make
to help do things for you and I
because it isn't about 
money but taking
one letter one word at a time
Spelling out my future is up to me and me alone
Yes, it can be influenced by those around me
Or maybe I haven't let myself learn to say No
To you making decisions for me
Maybe it is about time I say goodnight
Take a rest
At home where I feel safe
Like putting pause on life to
Meditate and think about what is next
Before hitting play once again
I am not locked in a box without a key
For I am the key to  my life and
My day can be bright without you
For you have dimmed me to where
I don't even know myself
And my true self is hidden to just
To fit your mold of a friend
Or a significant other
Sometimes I need to rewind
My day in my head to reflect
On what I can do better for the next time
But for now it is time for me to say goodnight
And bid you farewell
For you were a virus to me
That I couldn't seem to get rid of
You are no longer the mouse that controls
What I do
For I connect better with those
Who are the opposite of you
And those who let me be me
And not try and control
What I do
Who I am with
Or my hobbies
I so much enjoy doing
So maybe if you still want to be my friend
Find a  copy
Oh wait
You can't for I am one of a kind
And you need to leave
So I am going full screen
Because I am me
In my own world
I know I am not the center of attention
But I have my own times to shine bright
And its not every time or everyday
But that is alright with me
Sleep tight now
For I need to recharge my batteries

You call me your princess
Your daughter
                                                                                           I call you my king
                                                                                                         my Father
you call me to obey
to listen to your voice
                                                                                        I do my best to obey
                                                                             listening for you still voice
you call me to love
to treat others as I wish to be treated
                                                   I love those who love me and despise me
                                                                   I treat others as if they were you
you call me to work your field
and to reap what I sow
                                                                                                 I do your work
                                                                         for your rewards mean most
Daughter
              Daddy
I love you
              I love you too
My princess

My teacher asked all to write a poem
and to turn it in before the class ends
I don't know what to write about
except what others may
so I tell you this
that I do like this assignment
yet I don't because I can't just write a poem from thin air
for something must come to me
I am slowing down for I do not know
what else to write
I can tell you this
that this is an hour where I become hungry,
sometimes very hungry that
my stomach growls when its silent
dead silent
I guess I have more to write about than I thought
Then again its just thoughts that are coming
to my mind and spilling on to this sheet of paper
now full of words
the class is almost over
making the time fly by writing
I don't know how to end this poem
except say a few more words
one hour closer to lunch

The phone rings
With great sorrow in their voice
heart slows
mind racing
"How could this be?"
the phone
slipping from my grip
Body getting weak
eyes ready to burst
like fireworks on the fourth of July
collecting oneself
to pick up the phone
and finish the conversation
I let the waterfall continue
till sleep overcame
preparing for the day to say
Goodbye

The lead of the pencil hits the paper
as white as snow
the mind full of wonders
being splashed like paint on a canvas
with details slowly filling in the picture
like a puzzle with movie scenes on each piece
to escape, this is my place of freedom
stuck inside a spiral bound notebook
to be opened by many
page after page
idea after another
this is my love
my passion
poetry
my emotions and thoughts
flowing effortlessly on these pages
from cover to cover
book to book

My Brokenness
Pieces of Me
being put back together
By you, God
you are taking my Brokenness
putting my pieces back together
showing me the way of where to go
my pieces
The map
I cannot see it
I rely on you to show me the way
once I find my way
with your help
my pieces are slowly getting glued
back together
once I hit the end of my adventure
my pieces are glued forever
as if I was never broken
for in you I am found perfect
with you I am found perfect
because that is how you see me
Perfect and unbroken

These things I like to call
A disease
Everyone has them
In their hands
Pockets
Backpacks
In front of your face
All the time
Never
Left at home
Turned off

You stole
My friends
My time
My joy
Fresh air
Family time
Face to face conversations
And you keep me on the couch

You use me for everything
Alarm clocks
Notes
Photos
Videos
Movies
And even as a computer

You started off the size of a brick
And as time passed
You got smaller
Then bigger
And flatter
Like a pocket sized tv

You have become such a disease
That not many of us
Can live without you
But you have become a sad necessity
That should never have been
You are a want not a need
So stop and let me have
My life back
The creativity your blocking
The great times of playing games together
Board or card or games outdoors
But not on you

You
You dull our brains
You mess with our memories
Because all the numbers you keep
You mess with our sleep patterns
You cause us depression
And anxiety
Because we apparently need you in our lives
When in the past you were not here
And we can do it again
Even with you here

Did you know our lives resemble Chess?
that in  all decisions
right from the start
you need to think ahead
about the choices being made
about who it is going to affect
because it ain't just you
choosing to sacrifice what you want to do
to help others...
or not
willing to change plans at the last minute
because of a
cancellation
a death
not everything goes our way
sometimes we need to make
small moves
simple
sometimes we need to switch it up a bit
ride the horse
take a breather
I mean time isn't really on our side
you see each second that passes by
is then one minute
one move
one choice
closer to death
sometimes
when you think you have won
you find yourself stalling
going back and forth going anyway you can
till you just have to face your moves
head on
and let go
to bad we only have
one chance to live
so make all your moves count
for you never know when your
last
breath
will
be

You are poison

Yet your lips on mine
That taste so sweet
Your Hands running up and down my back
Slow enough to make me draw you closer

When instead
I should be pushing you away
Because you're killing me
Slowly

As your kiss
Is paralyzing me
And your hands
So gentle
Yet fast enough
To bruise me
That I hurt

For I don't know how to decide
On who I love more
You
Or myself

My daughter
I am so proud of you
Never forget that

The soothing sound of the rain
Going drip
Drop
Drip
Drop
To cleanse the streets
Making puddles anew
To kids splashing
Adults kissing
The smell so beautiful
Candles cannot compare
With lightening strikes
And thunder booming like the bass drum with a constant beat
That a song begins to play
Hours go by
The moon begins to rise
The pooring rain
And booming thunder
Helps me to drift off into my dreams

The saying
You never know what you have till its gone
Isnt just true in dating relationships
But in friendships
And those you work with
One of my coworkers
Passed and I didn't realize
How much I would miss him
He had his ups and downs
Like everyone else
But its rough
And its going to be different
Without him at work
Cheery welcome greeting
And smile he always seems to wear
And his laugh
Making those around him smile
You will be missed
Always remembered
Rest in peace Ken

Roses not always wanted
On special days
So take me away I'm
Eagerly awaiting adventure
Since memories last till end of time

Meeting my gaze
And staring with wonder
Details coming together
Every second
Like a puzzle forming
Every min of our future
In your stumbling of words
No on understood
Except for me

Close your eyes and Imagine this

Morning dawns and ready to wake
Darkness
It’s all you see
You think you’re dreaming
You’re not
somehow your colorful world
turned black
with a blink of an eye
you call for anyone
no one responds
remembering all are at work
you try and remember
your room
your reflection
everything


Having to rely on your senses
Feeling
Hearing
Taste
Smell
All growing stronger
As sight was taken
Everything you knew how to do
Drive
Read
Cook
Etc.
You can no longer do or have to relearn a new way or
Not be able to do it again

Your heart pounding
your mind and body in panic mode
you struggle trying to find your phone
to call for help
takes minutes on minutes
everyone thinks it’s a joke
for it is April 1st
to stumble from one room to another
slowly remembering where,
what everything looks like
breaking down to cry
for it is all you can do

Making your way to the kitchen for some food
The easiest is cereal
For fewest things are required
The day passes and
All you can do is sit and think
On anything and everything

It’s close to bedtime
You know
For your eyes are getting heavy
You close your eyeys
When the whole day it already felt
As if you never opened them

Morning comes and afraid to open
But do so admitting you’re now blind
And will begin to adjust
You open

Color?
your room?
Your reflection?

What if for one day you were blind?

Let me just say two word
Many times to get it off my chest
Shut up
Shut up
SHUT UP!
You tell me I won't make it in life
You tell me I can't do this
Or I can't do that
You say I can't do it because it's difficult
Or it will take to long
You say I will give up once it gets hard
You never believed in me
Unless it was things
That were easy and in my comfort zone
So just shut up!
I don't need your negativity
Or your two cents
I don't need you to cheer me on
Because as long as I believe in me
And know that I can do it
And tell myself that I can do it
I will do it
I will prove you wrong
I will surpass all that you thought
That I couldn't do
I will go outside my comfort zone
To grow
Because I am strong
And if I want to do it
I will do it and even better
I will make it look easy
So when you attempt to do
What I am doing
You are going to struggle or fail
Unless it's something you already know
But then I'll make it look
Flawless and effortless
But don't you dare then
Act like you always believed in me
Or supported me
In any way shape or form
But you will wonder
How I did it
And I'll tell you
That you not believing in me
Started a flame
That only grew in me to want to do it
So tell me that
I can't do this
Or I can't do that
Because it will only grow that flame in me
To prove you wrong
So maybe don't Shut up
Because I want that flame
To be as big as possible
So I myself
Will Shut up
And smile
And just get to work
Proving you all wrong
Again and again
Then maybe you will support me
Because you will know
What I am capable of
Or you won't and that's okay

It was here after the universe was created
After the creatures who walked the earth
After the water creatures swam
After everything was created
After Eve ate of the fruit of the tree

It entered the world
It made the world a place full of choices
Full of rights and wrongs
Full of rejections and acceptance
So full of choices that we can choose
Which choice to make

It was here before the first child was born
Before that innocent child
Could walk
Talk
Breathe
Or know much about what is going on

It was here before you and I were ever born
Before our parents gave birth to us
Before we made our first friend
Before all of this around us came to be

It has been here ever since the serpent in the garden
Tempted Eve and Adam stood silent
When Adam could have spoken up
But didn’t

But now that it is here we have choices
We have free will
We have the choice to choose right from wrong
Because of our sin we have nailed our Savior to the cross
To save us
To take three nails for us
To take a death that should have been our death
But no
Jesus took that death
Took our death upon himself
Even though he himself was perfect
Who committed no sin
Did nothing wrong
Was Perfect

Ever since He died on that cross for us
We now have eternal life with our Father
When one day we are able to come home
With no more pain
No more suffering
No more tears that are to be shed
But tears of Joy
We are Home and able to come home
Once we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior
When we admit that we can’t do anything on our own
That through and only through Jesus
We are saved
And can come home

But this that caused God to send His one and only Son
To die on the cross for us is because of
Sin
Sin caused that and is what brought all this upon us
Why we have free will
And choices to make
It’s all because of sin that entered the world
Through just one eating
Of one fruit
From one tree
Sin

Sin
When the
Serpent with those sly words
Interjected himself into the world to cause trouble and deceive
Never giving up till the end of the days when he is thrown back into the eternal fire

Then when the days here are done
Sin will be no more
the eternal fire full of pain and anguish
But Heaven the place free from all sin and deceit
Sin will never be near again

As all leaves have fallen to bare empty trees
Temperatures begin to drop
Colder and colder each day
From not being able to see your breath to seeing
And all the long sleeves and pants come out
With hats and mittens and boots and all other snow gear
Its time for the delicate and soft things to fall

For how could this be so soft yet hard at the same time?
Soft when first falling from the white clouds above
To being packed into spherical shapes to become hard
That is white all year round from cloud to ground
Yet when gone number one in or stepped on many times
Turns a different color

On those nights with the lights outside seeing them flakes fall
And looking so peaceful it just seems so relaxing to sit and look at
And watch gracefully fall for hours at a time

Thinking how pure it is to have something glide to earth
Making the round land we are on so beautiful you look in awe

To be outside no longer warm
To dress cozy to enjoy the weather and play in the fluffiness
Or stickiness and build with it
Just too much fun sometimes
After to come inside and heat up with some hot chocolate
Or maybe some tea and warm fuzzy blankets

The outdoors becomes cold and sometimes like ice
We choose to stay in and play some games and have some family time
Read a book
Or even a movie with some snacks to enjoy

Before bed as it continues to fall and watching it
As you begin to fall asleep makes the night relaxing
And followed by peaceful dreams

When grown and with the significant other or married spouse
For some to be outside and kiss under the elegant shapes
Is magical and sometimes cooler than kissing in the rain

To be able to build igloos and snowman
Making snow angles and snowballs
To tunnels and riding down hills
Snowshoe and go cross country on skis
To finding a sled or tube to ride down hills
Gaining speed and once in a while crashing
Or falling off with laughter to top it off
To catching them on your tongue
Sometimes even in the eyes but that’s alright
Because it is just water after all just a different form

With water freezing and some roads turning to ice
And lakes, rivers and other bodies of water freezing over
To skate on, play games on, fish on

It’s a wonderful season
Another time to get together with
Family from both sides
Enjoy homemade foods
Cookies that get made once a year
To ending the year and beginning the year
With the snowflakes that glide and shimmer

For some who don’t like to be around it as much
Or even as long
Vacation time is around the corner
To leave the white beauty to travel to warmer weather
For a week or maybe some months
But to come back with it still here
But not always

When it begins to fade and the inches become centimeters
To seeing the grass again
It is time to say goodbye
Goodbye till the end of the year
Goodbye winter gear
Goodbye but not for good all them long sleeve and comfy clothes
To the hot chocolate we all love
But secretly still have throughout the year

Saying Hello to warmer weather
Temperatures rising
Slowly
Rain coming
Storms coming for May to bring flowers
Once again

Goodbye winter for not many will miss you
But there of us who will and
Be waiting till you come again

You are many things
Many ways to describe you
Even though you can make us cold
And yet enjoy your presence
See you again