the distance between us
larger than oceans of time
yet she peacefully slept
beside me

our ego is
the cage of the soul
when we forget the world
to experience pure joy
the soul escapes its prison
if just for a moment

our fantastical future 
full of promise and joy
where dreams become reality 
where we go to die

it is always the lovers
the mothers and fathers
the friends and teachers
those closest to you
who plant seeds of doubt
in your mind
who push you away
from your dreams
only the strong (and stubborn)
may follow their heart
while those dearest to them
cast stones at their passion

the primal spirit
exists in all of us
our coding makes it so
the hunter of past
lives inside you
do not forget
your power

whatever our endeavor
we try so hard to be seen
to succeed through popularity
but the more we focus on
pleasing the crowd
the further we stray
from our initial endeavor
forget the crowd
do what brings you joy
if you touch the hearts
of only a few
that is enough

to those who fear death
know that death
is the ultimate trip

just as the red sun
glows on the horizon
just as the moon’s light
glitters upon the ocean
you open your eyes
and i am in awe

oh lonely doe
outside my blurry bedroom window
on this rainy day in may
drops pouring down a sky gray
over this single solitary soul

yet still as a statue she lies
except for those black glassy eyes
that blink and stare
without expression or care
sat the lonely doe hypnotized

sadness and solitude filled my heart
as i watched the lonely doe apart
i wonder if her friends or family were near
perhaps a squirrel, bird, or deer
will the lonely doe stay or depart

i left the window to fetch a cup of tea
only to find the lonely doe had flee
she left me all alone on this dreary day
no one to see and nothing to say
in perfect solitude by myself and free

be our authentic self
but what does that mean
in a world of bombarded stimuli
constant choices and distraction
follow the road of curiosity
that will lead to our authentic self

if there is an "after-life"
there may be a "before-life"
to die and depart this world
implies to be born and arrive
maybe to learn or to love
or to learn to love
and maybe, just maybe
we have died before
and this is an “after-life”

embark on activities
that build character
rather than prestige
for character will triumph
over any adversity

when you gave yourself
to a nameless stranger
my heart was ripped apart
by my bloodied hands
while i descended
into poisonous perdition

more collaboration
     than competition
more compassion
     than callousness
more creativity
     than conformity

there he goes again
why does his ego have 
to be so **** fragile
he takes my one little comment
and has to launch an atomic bomb back
the question is should i take the bait
or let him have it
it's just not worth it
but it really ****** me off
and why do i have to hang on
to that anger when i can fight back
but to what end
he'll just get more vengeful
and i'll get more angry
and this will go on for days
and then for weeks 
until we both can't take it anymore
so **** it
i'll let him have this one

a spark transforms
into a raging fire
crackling and bursting  
voraciously consuming all
with time the fire subsides
into dark glowing embers
radiating soft warm heat
that burns just as deeply
as the flame that gave it life
this is the progression of love

i remember
when life felt immortal
when love was intoxicating
when days were simpler
my long lost friend
my youth

mothers and fathers
do not wish
upon your children
a life free of pain
that would be impossible
rather wish upon them
strength and learning
from the pain in life

the colorful birds 
chirped with glee
to defend their nests
up in the tree
while a young poet
listened with delight
as thoughts of love  
inspired her to write

as still water stagnates
blood stagnates
move your body
keep blood flowing
fuel your life force

love cripples the strong 
and strengthens the *******
love fools the wise 
and wisens the fool
love brings harmony to chaos
and chaos to harmony
love is balance

to take sail
with no map or compass
to let the winds of fortune
carry you to distant shores
is more courageous than
he who plans and plots
his destination

we try to plan and calculate
all the twists and turns of life
as if we had a choice
on how our lives transpire
the arrogance
the foolishness

a spontaneous nature
is a nature of free will
to act in the moment
is to be free of restraint

worry not on
reaching your destination
you will not be satisfied
when you arrive there
a new destination is
always on the horizon
be happy with the journey
that is all there is

the hot water rained down 
on my cowered head
as i scrubbed my flesh
until my skin glowed red
but i could never wash away 
the guilt that marred my blood
it had seeped into my bones
turning my heart into mud

i don’t tell you often enough
and we both know
that i am ******* you
but i am proud of you
you are learning
taking risks
making mistakes
yet remaining curious
and always moving forward
to be a better version of yourself
you are heading where you belong
fear not

             — myself

on one ordinary night,
i sank into death’s realm
in all its bitterness and defeat
powerless in its consuming grip
my mind buried alive
in an everlasting nightmare
deeply personal and exposed
but that dark moment
steered me on a truer path
decorated with love and creation
leading to a dawn of knowledge

maybe, we should all
have a taste of death  
the world might be
a better place

the billionaire man
felt more joyous excitement
driving his first used beat up Corolla
than his new shiny red Ferrari
happiness is a matter
of perspective and familiarity

the heart gripped and squeezed
by an oppressive mind while its
creative blood dripped down

the mind whipped into submission
by a master ego leaving
scars of fear and insecurity

the soul mourns for heart and mind
to simply let go and open up
dissolving their chains of suffering

to want subtracts from life
to be grateful adds to life

           — the math of life

we love our parents
but we must not be our parents
we honor our parents
by having our own identity
better to be the apple
that falls far from the tree
better to live your life
your way

should happiness be our purpose
does it carry the same meaning
aristotle intended for us
we live in a society of addictions
swim in anxious waters
float in melancholy skies
yet demand happiness at every turn
happiness has become
our new addiction

no matter how dark
    the abyss
no matter how weak
    the body
no matter how lost
    the mind
there is a way out
    to rebirth

you must believe

there was a little boy
with a broken heart
his silent wound refusing to heal
that little boy became a man
now he massacres innocent hearts
extinguishing lovers like spent cigarettes
all to mend his still broken heart
and the cycle continues . . .

arms and legs bound
trapped in a pine box
gasping for air
a feeling that chokes my gut
when a moment of solitude
escapes me

who are we supposed to be?
we are born into this world
a blank slate as soft as clay
raised by mother and father
taught by teachers and friends
told to contribute to society
but be happy along the way
is this all there is
or is there more?

and my world
began to bloom
the way rain clouds
slowly part ways
revealing a pale blue hue
while rays of light
smile down

all i want in life
is to become everything
i am capable of becoming

it's all about you
you loving you 
you hating you
you creating you 
you destroying you 
it was always you
no one else

you ask me why i love her?
what a silly question 
“why” you ask?
for no other reason 
than i just do
love is a wordless mystery 
there is no reason for loving 
you just do

there is nothing wrong
with a disdain for authority
break their rules
do things your way
just don’t get caught
you are no good to anybody
locked behind steel bars
or expelled from school
take their degrees and accolades
use it against them
make this world a little better

desire keeps us busy
but does it make us happy
the way love or purpose do?
love and purpose are not desire
you cannot walk away from them
once they find you

desire is quicksand
a trap to suffering
the liberating tree branch
is knowing your desires
are imaginary and fleeting
you can let them go

goddess
nurturer of all things 
mother of creation 
we are born from the mother 
she nourishes with her breast 
bestows love and creative mystery 
oh simple mortal man, 
a competitive brute 
he is nothing without a goddess 
the gods spoil us with the feminine
the beautiful women of this earth 
man is lost without them

your thoughts and values
are they really yours
or were they inherited
from your mother or father
or your friends or teachers
perhaps your thoughts and values
developed from your past pain
what if you let go of your
inherited thought patterns
what if you let yourself have
a blank slate of thoughts and values
to invent a new you
the real you

we explore the world
but what good is that knowledge
without creation
we create works of art
but how limited are our creations
without exploration

the grass and plants
the trees and leaves
they all seem to dance
in the cool light breeze

this world is theirs
i’m just passing through
they lessen my fears
as i write a haiku

thank you sweet nature
for your peace and care
i will be less of a stranger
with time, I swear

a tiny seed germinates
in the recesses of your mind
slowly infecting your innocence
wrapping its black tentacles
around your creative heart
bludgeoning the happiness
that once resided there
once perfection takes root
we are blind to freedom
we become a slave

there are days
gray monotone days
when i feel nothing
i want nothing
i love nothing
i hate nothing
i am nothing
my mind floats
between dream and reality
a foggy purgatory
of nothingness
this scares me
more than suffering