I hear the scratching in my walls all night
It sounds to sinister it gives me a fright
It could be mice or maybe legions
Of some really ******* ****** demons
I hope it's just my ****** up imagination
Not again, my own damnation
Guess I'll just lay here and wait for the screaming
I've past insane, there's no redeeming

The sun lights up the liquid gold leaves
My favorite part of fall is the dying of tree's
Most like the spring, and things coming to life
Guess it gives them hope, and eases their strife
But I see the circle, and the beauty of dying
The letting go and moving on, no more sighing
So I'll sit and watch the beauty unfold
And think about loved ones I lost not so long ago
And hope some day I'll follow in their steps
And witness the beauty in the dying and death

The Mongoose dances with the Cobra
Bending and twitching, it looked like yoga
One little ***** of those poisons fangs
Will leave it dying in ravenous pain
The Mongoose so small and frail
It looks like the dance with the Cobra is sure to fail
The jumping and striking is memorizing to watch
Looking exhausted they raise it up a notch
A dance to the death is the show before me
The Cobra's hood is all I can see
He sways from side to side trying to hypnotize
But I can hear the Mongoose's chattering cries
Bouncing back and fourth on legs of springs
The Cobra strikes, you can hear the zing
The Mongoose is to fast, to the side it jumps
Then comes the bone crushing crunch
As the snakes body curls in on it's self into a ball
Looks like the mongoose won after all

So even if you think of yourself as small
Be the mongoose when problems come to call

A darkened soul, with a touch of beauty no doubt
Beautiful inside, because of the scars on the out
The pain can not be locked
Inside
Cuz if it was we would surly die
So the wounds leak with blood in thin lines
The fear within,it just grinds
But what a beautifully sad soul that's locked inside
Waiting patiently for someone to find

With my pen I try to slay the demons
I am determined to chase them from my eden
With the inky darkness I will paint my picture
I will paint them with such stricture
My words will flow
And everyone I'll show
They will no longer be allowed to reside
Hidden deep inside
With the darkness of my ink
I will bring them to the brink
With the black flow, I'll shine the light
On their hideous form, no longer hiding in the night

It's Sunday morning
I'm in mourning
My "give a ****" died last night
Amongst your words "you're just a blight"
You said it, not in anger
But with the disconnect of a stranger

.........SO.........

I no longer give a ****
Killed with your hit
I'll just lay
I'll just decay
I no longer give a ****
I'll never again throw a fit
Pushed to far
Drowning in tar
I no longer give a ****
My heart you just ripped
Casted aside
Feelings died
I no longer give a ****
Your love was counterfeit

He reached for the rose, but forgot about the thorns
He reached for the beast, but forgot about the horns
He reached for the future, but forgot about the past
He reached for the journey, but forgot about the quest
He reached for the sun, but forgot about the burn
He reached for the knowledge, but forgot what he'd learned
That light without darkness simply can not exist
Like the possessed without an exorcist
One without the other would have no value
With is you cannot argue

Death strikes from out of no where
Takes our loved ones, it doesn't care
Left to live on without them
Left to carry on without that gem
Leaves an empty space
That no amount of time can erase
Left with only memories
Sadness in diffrent degrees
Smiles and tears
Thinking back throughout the years
Flipping through old pictures
Knowing that they had made your life richer
Hoping this is not completely the end
Hoping that on some distant plane you'll see them again

You just sit there like a nonexistent entity
Having no special identity
All your thoughts are not your owen
Only planted seeds in your mind is sown
You are so **** vain
This will probably have to be explained
Because you will probably take this as flattery
But I must say you have a vanilla personality

Will we meet upon the green grass hill
Will you come and sit with me still
Underneath the old oak tree
We can sit and gaze at the sea
We can watch the white top waves
As it beats toward the caves
The sea foams frothy white at the wide open mouth
And when the wind blows from the south

You can almost hear the pirates song
When they use to visit the cave, but those years are long gone
That's where they use to hide their treasures
But now only the waves laps in at it's leisure

You once asked me,"why don't you explore the cave by the sea"
"To find diamonds and the gold that there might be"
I only shot you a smile
Because I knew all the while
I had all ready found my diamond
And around you my arms I tightened

But that was many years ago
And the winds of time did blow
It aged our bodies, and took you away
So I made that climb up hill today

To sit up under that old oak tree
To reminisce of what use to be
To hold tight the ghost of your memory
For that's one thing time can't take from me

Two broken souls
Trying to make each other whole
They were quite a mess when they found each other
Each had lived through torment, one after another

Her body was full of scars, just trying to maintain
His heart had been trampled and drained
They gave each other their own heart
They found it filled in all the parts

And together they were whole
They were connected, soul to soul

Her with all her worries of the future
He always tried to hush and nurture
He would slay all her demons and doubt
She showed him what true love was all about

They loved each other so
Like they had known each other long ago
They lived joyfully for many many years
There was only ever joyful tears
Until that one horribly sad day
The Lord took her away

On that day his true love died
He just wanted to be by her side
He just seemed to wither away
Without her by his side he didn't want to stay

Soon after he passed too
Even in death his true love he would pursue
They say he died of a broken heart
But I know it was because she had his missing parts

The rain is pouring down
Those poor worms are sure to drown
They're looking for a dry spot to be found

They crawl to that one small spot of concrete
They found what they seek
The birds are waiting with sharpened beaks

To the birds it's a rain fueled feast
With death the worms they greet
Like me, the worms are just ment to feed the beast

Here I am in the darkness again
Realizing it's my only friend

I just want to walk in the sun
Like I did when I was young

But that dream is dead and gone
Just like the last note of a song
It simply fell away
Into the gray

I try to convince myself I will be just fine
Here in the dark where the sun will never shine

Alone in my maddness
My terrifying sadness
In time that's so timeless
This deafening silence
That all leads to self violence

I nearly forgot my broken part
Till you took a blowtorch and cauterized my heart
You devastated me, with your art

Don't think of yourself as smart
In love my brain from my heart departs
I always put the horse behind the cart

I look back on years gone by
Trying to figure out the how and why
How we clung to each other trying to easy the pain
We clung to each other in the cold November rain
The rains have come around again this year
All alone I'm standing here
Head held down
As this cold *** rain splatters on the ground
Making puddles at my feet
As I travel down this dead end street
The cold penetrates my bones
For your not here I'm all alone
Your memories can't keep me warm
Only images of you in my mind are formed
They where desperate times for you and me
But looking back I can clearly see
We where never ment to be
I was only a life raft in your troubled sea
I wish I'd known then I was just your crutch
That I didn't mean that much
For now the only sound that resounds
In this frozen heart of mine, is this cold November rain falling down

You act as if you hadn't a clue
You act as if I hadn't talked to you
You act as if I hadn't tried till in the face I was blue

I did, I tried
I did, but you only sighed
I did,rivers of tears I cried

Why are you such a *******
Why is your agony dispread
Why did you not listen and ended up mislead

I beckoned you to come near
I beckoned you so I could make it clear
I beckoned you but you only looked at me with that sneer

So I let you do it your own way
So I let you become the prey
So I let you crumble in just mere days

Now i'll just set and watch
Now I'll just set while all of it you botch
Now I'll just set as you make another notch

If only you had not just listened but heard
If only you hadn't let things get so blurred
If only you hadn't acted so absurd

I sat and I watched you expire
I sat and I watched as your situation got dire
I sat and I watched as you set yourself on fire

I took off my mask
Why would you do that, you ask
Because this is me sad, lonely, and depressed
There is always a heaviness on my chest
If you can't handle it just step on back
You can't alphabetize me and shove me in a sack
I won't play that game any more
And all of my true feelings I'm gonna show
Maybe now I'll get true friends
Not just those that like me when I grin
And hell if not I'll just stay alone
Because I don't need fake, I've grown
So like me,or love me, or leave me alone!!

Some roads you shouldn't go down
Maps use to say that's where dragons would be found
Now they don't, but that doesn't mean
The dragons aren't still there, just unseen
So on some roads you should just turn around

The rhythm of my poems is my broken heart beat
To express my agony is what I seek
No formal training have I had
It all comes out the good and the bad

The ink is my blood, I let it soak my page
Sometimes it comes out as rage
Sometimes it's just sad, and tugs at the heart
But every single poem, of me is a part

Sometimes the ink runs that is my tears
I tell my story, I let you look at my fears
Sometimes my inks sticky that is my blood
Sometimes my poems are like a flood
Sometimes the inks salty that is my sweat
My poems some will not get

Sometimes my poems scare
But I don't care
My poems my heart and my life
It's always been full of strife

I'm not one to tell you everything will be fine
And in doing so I'm being kind
You read enough of my writings
You'll see that I'm fighting

One day at a time, I write it all down
In my poems my life is found
It's all on the page
My agony, my fear, and my rage
If my poems make you feel something
Then it was worth all the suffering

Do you miss me, I want to know
You don't even kiss me when I go
Do you want me to stay away
You know I can,for days and days
When you want, your passion glows
When you turn it off, icicles grow
Maybe that's just it
About me you don't really give a ****
Maybe it's only lust
You're only addicted to the ******
So you only miss my certain parts
The one you don't want is the heart
So I break myself in pieces
Wishing I was your golden fleece

I took some pills to pass the time
Don't you worry they were mine
I took some pills to pass the day
I wanted black, was tired of the gray
I took some pills to pass away
Please dear friend don't be in dismay
I took some pills to go to the void
Don't look up what would be said by Freud
I took some pills, the deal is done
Please don't bother yourself to come
I took some pills, now I'm floating away
You'll have to look for me another day

Yeah I Agree

You set there as quiet as a stone
Leaving me chilled to the bone
You utter not a word to me
To break the silence I say "yeah I agree"
At me, you just blankly stare
You could cut the tension in the air

So I just stare back
Wondering just what it is a lack
Why can't we talk
Are you wanting me to walk
Do you not have the courage to say goodbye
Are you afraid it might bring tears to my eyes
Or are you afraid I'll go
If that's how you feel, it doesn't show

I guess I'll never know
Guess I'll just go with the flow
But it's so hard, you turn cold on a dime
At other times your passion is so hot it's a crime

You set there as quiet as a stone
Leaving me chilled to the bone
You utter not a word to me
To break the silence I say "yeah I agree"

The Power's that be
Are laughing at me
They've stacked the deck
To them I'm a speck
Like a kid with an ant
They can't hear my rant
Not that they care
They're not interested in fair
They drop their stones
To hear my moans
Oh look there's the light
Wait, **** it's to bright
They flood my life
With worry and strife
There's no reason or rhyme
It'll change on a dime
They are not very sane
their attention will wane
They will soon let me be
By stepping on me

God doesn't love me he never did
Even from the start as a little kid
I was so innocent
Or maybe just ignorant
I don't know which
But stepdad threw the switch
And I was neither this nor that
My soul just went splat

I hit a wall so hard and strong
I would forever always be wrong
No matter what choice I made
It all ended up so decayed

This life is no fun
I live it far from the Sun
But I could never hurt anyone
So why is it so
That upon my soul
That the sorrow it grows
And the stale wind blows
How could God hate me so much
That my life would turn out as such

That the agony just grows
In the memories that it's sows
Makes me wish this life was no more
I'm hollow to the core
I don't want to hurt any more

So take this living corpse of mine
In all of its great decline
Do with it what you wish
For it never will see any bless
So use it up and spit it out
Because after all isn't that what love's all about

Because that's all I've seen
In the 46 years that I've gleaned
So use me now, or use me latter
You'll always be just a hatter
In this mind of mine there is no doubt
That this thing called life I want to bow out
And forever be no more
And settle the score

I want to stand on that judgement day
And hear what God really has to say
Let him look me in the eye
Let him see me cry
From all that he did not save me from
And why he left me here so numb
That all I can do is shout
Is this what love is all about!

He grew up just him and his poor mother
No sweet sister, no rough and tumble brother
His Dad was M.I.A.
It happened in the usual way

But he didn't care
A cub never needs a father bear
His mother sufficed
Taught him wrong from right

He had it all figured out
He knew without a doubt
He had watched the rich kids laugh and joke
While in property he wallered and choked

So he studied hard and got good grades
In college he didn't party, never went to any raves
Got a corporate job, had a 3 figure income
He had money to pay bills, buy cars and then some

He took care of his mom till she passed away
He learned a great lessons on that rainy gray day
Money couldn't stop his mom from dying
Grown men where not above crying

The years quickly passed, he was married to his job
To those less fortunate he was a snob
On the streets he never gave the bums a secound look
If they had only took a page out of his book

He thought money was the way to happiness
Those he thought of as sad always had less
He had forgot about the lesson of the stone with it's dashes
Then the day came when the stock market crashes

He should of invested his time in a family
Instead of that money tree
For soon all his money was gone
Things in his life was going all wrong
His job disappeared, along with his home
Soon on the streets he had to roam

Now he was one of the despised
But on the streets he truly grew wise

Through hardship he found true friends
The ones that would help you to no end
For they know the pain of need
There was never any thought of greed

He was astonishingly amazed
That even with the poverty that he was grazed
He was happier now
Than chasing that cash cow

A good woman found him
His future then didn't look so grim
Years passed and they married
Over their rundown apartment threshold, her he carried
Soon it was babies in his arms
He truly knew now his vision of life had been wrong

Now he knew
Where it was that happiness grew
In the hearts of ones you loved and cared for
Being rich or being poor was both a chore
It's all just clatter
Unless to someone else you matter

As winter boughs he's head and walks away.
Spring peaks in and shines her rays
The grass is the first to see her face
And rejoices for whats about to take place
All the birds sign her a love song
To help hurry her along
The trees bring her gifts of leafs
It covers them like sleeves
The flowers timidly poke their heads out
To see what all the noise is about
The insects join in
And dance without sin
The animals open their sleepy eyes
And to everyone's great surprise
Spring in all her glory
Again gets to tell her story!

Wake up in the morning streatch and yawn
After last night I didn't think I'd see dawn
I fought my demons all night long
And with morning light nothing can go wrong

With half closed eye's I stumble out of bed
With sleep still heavy in my head
I sway my way to the coffee ***
A brand new day a brand new start
With no idea my world would be torn apart

My cat weaved himself between my legs
He's still there as I cook my eggs
All done cooking I turn and stumble
Right over my cute cat bundle

With hands full of coffe and breakfast
Slamming my head into the table was not expected
Who knew today would be the day
Who knew I'd die this way
I fought my demons all night long
Just to be done in with my cats purring song

Two seedlings grow up on the same plot of land
Wonderful black soil, not loose sand
So their roots gripped deep, so tall they could stand
So face to face they grew, each one knowing the other
As they shot up, their love soon bloomed one for another
They so longed to touch and entangle
With their branches they wanted to hold and mingle
And all the way to their roots they wanted to feel the tingle
Their love grew strong, and so did their trunks
They were watered and cared for each day by the monks
And the years slipped by when one final hour
Their branches could touch with a little wind power
A few more years slipped by and they now could embrace
And they were happy they had been planted face to face
They stood for centuries happy and content in their place
Sadly they thought that this bliss would last forever
All life problems they swore to endeavor
They held each other through storms and sunny weather
Until one day his roots grew weaker
With every passing year their situation grew bleaker
One night a storm blew in and their situation was dire
The wind blew him over and lightning set him on fire
She lost some branches trying to hold on to him
She knew deep down to her sap that now her life would be grim
Without him by her side she started to cry
And with every eternal year that crept by
Her limbs no longer reached for the sky but drooped down to the ground
Cuz that is now where his charred remains could be found
She reached for him with every single limb
Her weeping went on each day of the sorrowful years she was filled to the brim
The monks took care of her but they could feel her great sorrow
They prayed everyday that she would stand strong till tomorrow
One day an old monk took a close look at the tree
And decided the pain had changed her so much that her name now is different by decree
So my child when you lay your tired head on your pillow
Remember her and all her seedlings are now the weeping willow
She's there to remind us of the loss of great love
That not even her seedlings could rise above

Even though my soul is torn
With gaping holes and edges worn
I don't give a **** anymore
No longer wanting to settle the score
It's been to long
My will is gone
I lay down my sword, I lay down my shield
What's the use in what I wield
I only wound myself, that's where my demons hide
They're ingrained deep inside
For in my brain is where they dwell
All I can do is wish them well
For in my cranium is a living hell

Floating on the sea of abnormality
Standing on the bow with so much empathy
And still at the same time watching the skys anxiously
Maybe i am just an abnormality
Because I don't view the world angrily
Even tho what's been inflicted upon me is blasphemy
I see things so very clearly
The fabric of our world is a tapestry
It's woven togeather so perfectly
Only the strongest of us live our time in agony
Those in the abyss view the world so differently
For some of us this is no fantasy
But this doesn't need to be a catastrophe
If you just look at it rationally
In the rabbit hole we learn empathy
While others wander around aimlessly
And on that day we escape gravity
We will be granted amnesty

Some live their live in misery
Always brought to bended knee
Some live their live in luxury
Never being hungry
Some live their lives in denial
Looking back all the wail
Some live their live in regret
Knowing they haven't met their fate yet
Some live their lives in happiness
Knowing joys sweet kiss
Some live their lives in pain
Looking for a higher power to blame
Some live there lives in insanity
Knowing of mans inhumanity
Some live their lives in loneliness
Sorrowful of what they missed
All of us live our lives the best we can
For we all walk our own road trying just to stand

Oh I wish I had my way
I'd stay here, forever and a day
Locked up tight in your embrace
Curled up by the fireplace
With the flames dancing off your face
Our heart's beat as one, they interlace
Such contentment I've never known
You won't admit it, but your love has grown

I can see it in your eyes
The way you linger at goodbyes
I can feel it in your lips
As you hold onto my hips
Your finger's slightly grips
There is love and passion in your kiss
This love you will not say, but I can't dismiss

I know you'll never say it
At times I want to quiet
But you intoxicate me
My heart refuses to see
The catastrophe
That's gonna be

For I hide my darkness behind a smile
Hoping you look past it for awail
But I know it's inevitable
You'll find my sorrow and agony unbearable

All our good times you'll dismiss
When I sink into my black abyss
When my pain touches you with it's caress
You will run from me like all the rest

So for just this one day
Universe, let me have my way
I want this time with you to savor
So with my trusted razor
I will carve from me, normal behavior
One last time, in your eye's I wont be a failure

One last time, to lock away in my memories
How you use to look at me
Before I let you truly see
Before you take flight
Leaving me like I was before, all alone to fight

An angel landed by my side
He spread his wings open wide
"Come here my child I'll let you hide"

"Come here I will protect
From all that would effect
I will not let any of that affect"

"You've been beaten, you've been bruised
You've been mislead, you've been used
Your past is misconstrued"

"I am your guardian angel, I am your sword
For you have been given to me, I am your ward
Sent to save you from the hoards"

"Of demons ment to do you in
They've toyed with you with their every whim
You have no need to suffer anymore within you skin"

I guess he thought I would run to him
But my anger towards this Angel was filled to the brim
He took to long to save me, now I'm standing on the rim

"Where was you, my sword wielding Angel for all those years
I was left to perish among my agony and fears
You showing up now, just grinds my gears"

I guess he was expecting me to be nice
I guess he didn't see my knife
Or he would of taken fight
I furiously cut he's wings off
Then I stood there and scoffed
"Now you will see
How it is to be
Stuck just like me"
The look on his face was priceless
I had taken away he's devices
Of soaring above the muck and the mire
Now in this demon ravaged land, with me he could expire

Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
All of the masses
Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
Till they all become passive

Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
So they know longer have voices
Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
Till they no longer have choices

Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
Let them all become sheep
Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
Till their all nice and meek

With their drug addled mind
Their own thoughts will be hard to find
Then we'll input thoughts that are ours
For we are the great and mighty powers
We will tell them we know what's best
Not just for them but all of the rest

Like Sheppards to sheep we'll guide them along
And they will continue to sing our programmed happy song

For when the world starts to come to an end
We'll keep them drugged and tell them we are their friends
For when that day comes we'll shake and we'll sift
Pick out the good ones, drive the rest off a cliff

Useless memories that only makes me bleed
I'm about to give up, about to coincide
Lifes a joke and I'm the punch line
I'm on the wheel of time
Spinning around throwing sparks in the grind
Knowing full well things will never be fine
I never was something
About to become nothing

I live my life in dog years
And I'm afraid the end it nears
For every year of man, I suffered enough for seven
And I fear there is no way I'm going to heaven
Dogs are not allowed, for me it's Armageddon

Poor little fly
Fighting just to survive
No one saw it's demise but me
As he struggled not to freeze
First he flew in little hops
But to soon that stops
Then he walked in endless circles in the Sun's rays
But soon that too gave way
Now he lays frozen stiff
I wonder if me seeing made a diff
That this little flys last moments on earth
Didn't go unnoticed, and to a little poem had given birth

This poor little flys fight
Is a lot like my own sad sight
Wonder if anyone sees my slow decent
How this life is leaving me bent
Wonder if when I finally freeze and die
Will anyone notice and wonder why
Or see how I fought to survive
Just like that little fly

Just leave me to live in this garbage
Because I've already been discarded
Like Oscar in his can
I'll be a grouch, a *****, for look at where I stand
Society has counted me unworthy
Has proclaimed I'm gritty, and I'm *****
So I'll climb to the top of this pile of trash
I'll scream out the truth, let them all thrash
For only those in the dark can see the true light
Only the broken know the true wrong from the right
In the midest of the fight is where we grow strong
So we can pull others like us along
For those not ruled by this worlds cash
Will ever be harmed by the stock markets crash
I know the worth of my fellow human
And when the world, by greed lies in ruins
We will climb out of the darkness where you've chased us
And in societies face, truth we will ******
For the darkness of man we know all to well
"For the meek will inherit the world" and love and light will prevail

My seams are starting to fray
For your own good, you better stay away..

Like a car in hydroplane
Or a run away train
These thoughts of mine are off the track
Anxiety on top of anxiety stacked
There is no coming back

I keep the details dim
So on the outside looking in
Nothing is as at seems
Everything just beams
It all seems so copacetic
But it's so pathetic
Before long I'll need a paramedic
Cuz inside my head it's so chaotic

My thoughts race on and on
And none of it's good
My life has never been as it should
Mom would you of protected me if you could?
Or did you just trun a blind eye
It makes me want to cry
There is still so much left to say
But it all flew by with the days

Next chapter is my life in hell
God just watched as I fell
I was on my knees and ready to sell
I was broken of spirit
Just praying for preseverance
I was beaten into submission
Choked in such violation

Next chapter with a stupid man
That let me stay and stand
I just stayed at home and did the best I could
All alone I stood
Still evil struck
My whole family is ******.
Tried my hardest still I failed
It was years before it was all unveiled

Sadly my son will feel just like me
For him there will be no glee
Only destruction is left for me to see
And with my last breathe I'll plead
Demons let my son be

This life is so ****** up
I'm about to erupt
Would it be so corrupt
If this nightmare life ended abrupt!

I woke today
In the usual way
Alarms blaring
Clock uncaring
Sleep fleeting
Sun greeting
Eye's blinking
Minutes ticking

Yes everything was the same, the normal routine
But I could feel that cold clutch of something unseen
Today might be different plight
There's something not quite right
Apprehension over me rolled
Something in the wind had gone cold
It's making my soul shiver
Like being submerge in a cold river

Clock ticking
Thoughts thickening
Eyes darting
Fear starting
Breath catching
Life injecting
Uncertainty
I woke today
In the usual way
To find the day
In decay

All corpses are haunting, the light is gone

There is a light in each one of us, it's where it belongs

Until death takes our hand, but sometimes it doesn't shine strong

So no matter how dark life is singing her song

And you think there's no light in you, you're wrong

Who knew nothingness could hurt so bad
Like the nothingness your words had
Nothing did they carry
In their nothingness my heart was buried
There was nothing when you looked into my eyes
Your nothingness made me cry
There was nothing in your hugs
Your nothingness Just made me shrug
Who knew nothing could hurt so bad
Your nothingness made me more than sad

Light travels so fast
But the dark is always there to greet it
It's there before the first ray can be cast
It's a truth you can't omit

Before there is light there is darkness
Maybe that's why some are blinded by the light
For the dark has marked us
It's a truth you can't fight

For some the darkness never leaves the soul
Even in the sunshines
The dark still has control
Or at least it does mine

In a comma state of mind
I look but all I find
Is the nothingness you left behind

Nothing in my head
No meaning in what you said

Nothing in my heart
You tore that all apart

Nothing in my feelings
You just left me reeling

In a comma state of mind
I look but all I find
Is the nothingness you left behind

This song I know
This song of old
It plucks at the cords of my memories
Such sweet sad melodies
Through my mind it dances and strums
To these tunes I always succumb
With a melancholy sway
I relive my yesterday
When the sun still had some rays
When I could still see the way
The moment sweeps over me
With every note of that melody
Way to quickly it's gone
With the last beat of the song
Sadly back to my reality
In all of it's depravity

The jingle of keys makes my skin crawl
I could always hear them as he came down the hall
I knew my bedroom door he would breach
I knew soon it was me he would besiege
These are my early childhood memories
Now you know what started my disease
And why my blood runs cold and I freeze
When I hear the jingle of keys

The sun is shining bright today
     I wish the rain would go away
I feel the warmth within it's rays
     If only this coldness wasn't here to stay

By it's light I am blinded
       To the dark I am binded
In the sky a ball of fire
         By the darkness I was sired
It brilliantly lights the days
          But in darkness I'm forced to lay

The sun was God given
           My darker life has risen
I can see the light touch my skin
            Darkness is all that is within
It gives my skin a beautiful glow
             I'm to far down the rabbit hole

Panic attacks on top of anxiety
I'm in the fire, just fry me
The wolfs are circling my house
I'm feeling like a little grouse
Their howls are rattling my windows
The stress is starting to show
They're throwing their bodys against the door
I'm just laying here on the floor
If all they wanted was blood, that I could give them
I could give them enough blood to swim in
But they want more
Please someone lock the door
Made to deal with people I don't want to
So very much to do
And the panic ensues
I need a new pair of running shoes
So I could out run these *******
And there **** brothers
But alas that I can't do
And so anxiety grew and grew
Now I'm in panic mode
My soul is being sold
I just need someone to hold
Someone to be my shield
So I can be healed
**** this I'm going down
I'm drowning and there is no sound
No ripples on the water
No one will even know I faltered
Silence is all that will be left
I'll sink in with no regrets

Here I am again standing in the gray
Lost in the sway
Lost in the fray
At times standing in my own way

When everything around you doesn't matter
People's voices become just chatter
It couldn't get much sadder
I've been lost in the scatter

Yet somethings remain the same
My soul is still aflame
With all that's insain
Nothing left to reclaim

Even though the winds of time have changed
I'm still here to the past chained
The smile that plays about on my face is constrained
As catastroph and sorrow on my head rained

With my clothes in tatters, I stomp through the flood
Of demon and villagers body parts and blood

A steady straight line I trudged, my mother witch never taking my demon red eyes off
This was her only time to explain, her one shot

All the while vision flashed before my eyes
I watched my horrific child hood in my vision fly

I seen her hand me over, telling them to brand the symbols, do their worse
She wanted this girl child to hate, to feel that evil, and of all men curse

My mothers plan faild because of one tender hearted man
Who did put a brand a symbol of light, this she couldn't stand

So she cursed me, and with every good deed
The evil sunk in to plant the seeds

By the time the visions are through I was standing it front of her and the knight
Hissing the words through my teeth, "why did you want me on the side of the Evil Ones fight"

I stood there waiting, eyes glowing, teeth wrenching
Hands turning white from the fierce clinching

"My dear child I knew this day would come when the Dark Lord would be banished
And I as the leader would potrol the night with you by my side, oh the wonderful things on you I will lavish"

With that the sphere collapsed in on my kight and ****** out his life
There was a small twinge of pain, I flew at my mother, on was the fight
Killing him should of been my RIGHT

I committed the greatest evil,I wrapped my hands around my mother's neck and laced my fingers
She put up a hell of a fight, but I was younger and stronger in magic and strength, I choked her till no life lingered

And with that horrific evil act, the last brand sunk in to my skin
For it was the symbol of light, since the act was pure evil it was driven in

I was thrown and suspended into mid air
Pure white light shot out of my eyes, mouth and finger tips,raven black was now white hair

Transformation now complete
I gently touched down on my feet

I ran to my love, I flung myself on him
I cried and I tried every spell, I pleaded to the Gods, all of them
All to no end

So I gathered my self now a white headed witch with ink tattooed symbols covering my body
Evil still resides inside me but the light reigns, tho both are embodied


LEANA with a rush of air and a great flap of wings flew down by my side
I climbed upon her, she spirited me back to my woods so I could hide

My knights legend would live on in his deed
And in my womb he had planted his seed

He was now with his son in the netherworld, I'm sure he is watch over me and his daughter
He will see her with the love and magic of a white witch and his bravery she will have I will surly have his greatest
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