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Sep 2020 · 446
crush culture
Carmella Rose Sep 2020
just wanna kiss you and forget about this,
but you're in my head 24/7
unfocused mind all over these bad thoughts,
you just make me feel alive and it feels wrong
and i want to stop but it's like a drug
making me delusional
then waking up alone all over again

do you remember how i smirked
or how my voice is at 2am
'cause we've been in love and not at the same time
i'm the only one who stayed
don't you like my danger?
don't you love the devil in me
but you've released the danger
so why are you running
when i'm your hell heaven destination

why'd we took this scenic route
that ends only in horror
how sad, for me to walk away
when i'm still stuck in love
we loved one another
never discovered
too scared to try

somewhere on August you told me you liked me
the other day you've left me hanging
how does it feel to bring back the dead
only to **** it all over again
I don't know when this started, if it started when we first gazed at each other's eyes or how you saw my pictures, but even then we can't change what we did, which is hurt each other.
Sep 2020 · 874
temporary home
Carmella Rose Sep 2020
hello dear stranger of ghost town,
with good hair and tanned-skin,
i honestly thought i wouldn't able to like someone else
but i liked how you showed me the different hues of halo
and you saw my thunders and storms
you made me feel as if my scars are beautiful
i'm forever thankful for those late nights
morning talks and lil fights
for being a happiness in a short time

for making me feel emotions again,
you saw me in different phases like the moon
i am imperfect, and unstable
i still have those times where i feel every emotions
and it hurts so bad
but when i talk to you, when i hear your voice
i feel safe, i am at home,
you were my daisy at a lost place
and i adored you from afar

i still don't know why'd this have to end in silence,
when all i want is you, in every sunsets in every angers i've had
i would've stayed, but you left
i think this is goodbye?
and now all i have is  numb heart and memories.
i liked you, you were that first boy after the tragedy that i actually truly liked, but we became strangers again when we didn't even became close to lovers, it's okay, i'll be okay, i've missed you.
Carmella Rose Sep 2020
let's start with a simple hi,
and end with a ferocious goodbye
do you remember the first night we've said i love you
that's like my taste of first kiss,
never thought i'd give my love so easily
just to be broken in a bliss..

i kept telling these tales inside my head
that this is only a phase, a nightmare someday i'd wake up to
but it's been almost 2 years and it still feels
like a storm and mess inside of my heart
and all those places, i see your ghost
and past laughs and goofs,

i don't wanna move on from the realest thing i've ever had,
i want you to call me by my name and tell me it'll be okay
and hold my hand again even for the last time,

i've tried playing fire, destroyed my memories with you
chose recreate it with others, failed as a failure like me,
i wanna scream at you, but really i just want you back..

why'd we end up here, can you please tell me why?
maybe i'll never get over, but i'll always love you like how rosie loved alex.
Jul 2020 · 544
Carmella Rose Jul 2020
men are amazing
‘til one draws the game
and one burns a skin

i love your foolish words
and how you think
you cured me with ‘em
you thought a queen would vow?
yes, but never to a piece of pawn
of the enemy, only to the her king

calls, morning texts, goodnights
oh how i love them
sweet, vulnerable, innocent moments

you’ve got everything fit to ******
the crown but wait—
i am the crown,
built with steal of broken hearts
and mental shocks

if you think i am madly in love
well think again
salts can be deceiving as like a sugar
you know i’ve got a long list of ex lovers
all of em turned to ashes
because each ones i’ve burned quite well
from ashes to roses they all come back at once

begging for my love,
because never once i chased
and if we’re on a long ride
baby it’s gonna be hell

this is my game of love
it will leave you with a nasty scar
you won’t forget this angelic face
i’ll leave you wanting more.
the girl who once fell in love, now plays the game of hearts, she’s stronger and undestructable, one heartbreak could really change you and it’s been a torture to fall again.
Jul 2020 · 512
Carmella Rose Jul 2020
i don’t wanna love you more
i don’t wanna love you less
i just wanna love you better
i wanna do it right even though i know this won’t last, i feel so scared and insecure but i will try, and i hope it’ll be okay by time.
Apr 2020 · 787
you’re the only one.
Carmella Rose Apr 2020
i love you
like that only moon
on the night sky
no other stars could compare
only you who is the sun
at day time warmth
and rose to be the light
when darkness comes
only you that sets fire
to thy heart
and healing
through the soul.
you’re the only one from the beginning, you’re my twin flame that I met earlier than destiny, i love you more than 3000, and feeling only this for you.
Mar 2020 · 350
safe haven.
Carmella Rose Mar 2020
you can’t just be a safe haven
to those with broken hearts and souls
you can’t just be.
stop taking broken hearts then giving them love just to break you, stop being a rebound to people without *****.
Feb 2020 · 494
Carmella Rose Feb 2020
i used to think that you were an angel
until you proved that a murderer just thinks that love is greater than all
what a hypocrite he is
a walking mistake you are

but you were hell of a ride
with those brown eyes
and messy hair
you were the universe

too big, huge trouble right?
‘cuz i use to think we’re a match made in heaven
but we’re all sorts of complications
like how you reign me in your heart

is that even fair?
that i’m so in love and
you’re here playing the tables
calling off the bets

you know i was not a romantic
but you bring out the best bad in me
and sometimes
you give my hands something to write
and my eyes to cry

you were as bad and as good
and i know that’s chaos
trippling in the tip of my fingers

and i hope t’was the end of pain
but it was not
it was just a denial
to the hunger of love
i hope i was a believer of love again, but it’s harder trusting the second way around.
Feb 2020 · 644
Love and How Tragic it is.
Carmella Rose Feb 2020
Love has this feeling i couldn’t understand,
is it the person or the feeling i like?
i don’t know, love is a confusing as a math problem
and i don’t know how to solve it
and it hurts, so bad that love isn’t worth it anymore
i’d love to give my absolute best to it
but i think my pride and ego are bigger
because i’ve loved the wrong person
and trust really isn’t valid to your heart,
i want to open my heart so badly, but
how do you open a heart whose been stitched up
because it’s been broken for couple of thousand times,
and i wish i wouldn’t wake up someday to this pain,
and all the bad dreams would go away
but it doesn’t, our memories still haunt me
everyday, even at night time past dawn,
how i’d wish i can give a chance to someone
who truly loves me and not you
who threw me off a cliff after i fought a war for our love,
you’re a coward for letting go a woman
who could do anything for you
love has taken me to dark places
that i don’t know
and if i can rewind time
i wouldn’t fall for you
because you
don’t catch
a damsel in distress
you threw off a
crown ready
to love you
you were
i wouldn’t
be there
so i was
the only
one who
the seas after
you. every realizations.
Nov 2019 · 1.1k
The Temptation
Carmella Rose Nov 2019
you were that certain coffee that i couldn’t resist
that smell i swear i’m addicted to
you were a sin that i was always ready to commit
i’m a sinner, you’re all the crucials
vicious things i’m going to do
i’m the holy person, who became the devil
in denial of facts that satisfied me
and when i wake up in the morning
i keep grasping for air
because i know you’re just a dream i’m chasing
it’s hard everyday you’d be here
then the other you’d be gone
i don’t know when or how long
should i wait, i said i’ve moved on
but no, i still lose self control
everything still becomes a temptation
when it comes to you
every nerve on my body shivers
i tried to forget you
with all these alcohol, pills, and boys
that i’ve played with
but nothing was the best like you
you’re the reason why love is sweet
and why love is a bitter misfortune
you’ve locked me with forever
and left me like i was dust
thank you for the scar
forever in love with you
I do not know if this is goodbye, but I hope I see you again. || November 24th
Nov 2019 · 393
lovers to strangers
Carmella Rose Nov 2019
and when it rained of love, god stormed you to me, then took you again by the sun.
i loved you truly my friend, it’s just that everything didn’t work out, but i hope you’re happy and well; to the first boy that made me feel butterflies in my stomach, and who made me wanna wake up from these miseries, i love u until now but i’ll only love you from afar.
Carmella Rose Jul 2019
you were the most beautiful devil
that hell has sent me
darling you were the best
you were the ******* pain
that i’ll always want
that i’d rather be miserable
than lose you all over again
but now you are gone
and i’m just an angel lost in earth
don’t know where to find your smile
don’t know where to find your voice
your scent, your figure, your laughs
i don’t know where it is anymore
when i walk to the old places i feel cold
when i come back to our conversations
i feel warmth, i feel love
and all sorts of butterfly in my stomach
and if heart is a puzzle, i’d be incomplete
i’d be just a standing piece waiting for you
to complete the voids that you’ve patched up
from the sweet words
to the affectionate gestures
i’ll be honest missing you
is killing me, and letting you go made me die
everyday tears run down my cheeks
sunlights don’t shine anymore
rain hits me, and then
i was strucked by the lightning of sorrows
i kept coming closer to your fire
but where are you?
where the hell am i suppose to look?
should go back?
no one’s going to replace you,
the first pain of thy heart
the first of everything in fifteen,
you were not my regret
but you were my rotten daisy
forever remembered but thrown away in the ocean
but always remember that wherever you are
i always think about how happy we were
but it’s such a loss,
that our fate is parallel,
only strangers that met but never really cross.
—and i’ll wait for you to come back, as long as i can.
Carmella Rose Apr 2019
days have past but the scar of the past keeps growling of pain
tomorrow tells me another hope by thy sacrifice is made by
illusions of good days have already vanished and the worse is yet to come
the beast inside of me shelters the weakness of my fear
tell me how? how does a girl fight a demon of depression when all she has are swords to inflict self-harm
how does a girl forget anxiety when everything triggers the memories
i shall keep you away dear lover who have made me vulnerable and forced me to build walls made by blood
i do not want to be heartless but he took it away, he took it all the way leaving me with nothing
leaving me by a smile i will always despise
tell me was it good, to turn my body a volcano then rush out to make it alaska
you’ve turned me hot but left me cold
you’ve become my foundation but now you’re my destroyer
i love to hate you, but that thought is just an imagination
all i could feel is the truth that you have been the worse and i have been the ashes
Dec 2018 · 943
the red queen
Carmella Rose Dec 2018
i create lightning
i burn through your pavements
and i reach for the crown
make me smile, make me laugh
make me angry and
i’ll tear you apart

shades of violence in my eyes
darkness it shows
my smile becomes lethal
and my words became fatal

trapped onto the lies
now it all comes by
kneel before your queen
or bleed upon your skin

i’ll be back before the dawn
and when solstice come
the world rise red

they forced me to change
now get ready for this rage
for I am a diamond, beautiful
and unbreakable
sorry not sorry words do shed sorrow, i’m glad i’m better stronger and back from the grave, people will not break me anymore, be strong and you’ll rule the world.
Dec 2018 · 651
meant to—break
Carmella Rose Dec 2018
trapped in your delusions
sadness is it you
anger is it you
no, no—i’m anxiety says it
i’m your ego
the reality of truths
the pains of sorrows
the excruciating hell
is this how we part ways?
like the moon says goodbye to the sun
memories will be my joyful thoughts
i’m sorry i left
i’ll be back and fix everything
when i’m okay
though our eyes met
and i could’ve sworn there
was an electricity
the ocean rushing down your cheeks
the storms that clouds your mind
mi amore, tell me
you’ll be happy without me
be free like the bird you are
and maybe someday we’ll meet
and i could caress your lips again
connect the stars on your body
make you whole again
i love you forever.
we were so in love yet these thoughts were unreal.
Carmella Rose Sep 2018
is it bad that i like you?
when you’re with someone else
it’s a sin when you smile
i fell so much more every single day
oh i hope you’ll know
it hurts like hell
when i could only look at you
from afar
seeing your eyes glisten
my feelings are truly
colored red mixed with yours
then turned purple
and i was like this from the day
can’t i have a place in your heart?
but every time we look at each other
i feel there’s a connection
i feel that you know it too
the blank face
where your eyes only show
but you can’t
cause you’re trapped
in a different heart
and it’s too much to take in
so i’ll blend
in the stars and
just be shining
at least you’ll
see me
every night
looking at me
mesmerizing the shine,
i like you so much
nothing could mend
the pain
it’s sad that i couldn’t even touch you, so i’ll give up forever.
Aug 2018 · 5.7k
i was a little bit outshined
Carmella Rose Aug 2018
i would love to be
skinny, pretty with a little
bit of fierceness
but why do i look
as if i wasn’t good enough

never the brainy
nor the beauty
i was always a second
choice, chance,
or even a lead in my life
i never became my own
because people
kept being too good

they kept stepping on
what i do
and they do better
i was an average asian
looking a little bit rosy tan
with a hint of korean spice
by my eyes
who was envied by others
but good-looking eyes didn’t
stand out
because makeup kept
shattering the concept
of natural beauty

we were all being fake
to the society full of hidden truths
they showcased
thin-*** bodies
abused by strict diets
and pressure
full of greed.
I hope that I was enough for someone. The adventure that I give people, I hope they’ll remember me, but I don’t stand out so it’s either I die or stay unknown in all of these camera flash.
Aug 2018 · 649
love myself
Carmella Rose Aug 2018
the scars of tomorrow will forever
be see through on my skin
the dark circles on my eyes
where i stayed up all night crying
but i knew somehow
that after winter there’s spring
after the coldness there is the warmness of you

and when millions of arrows are
aiming on me I know
i’ll never ever back out
because i’ve been real
catching the stars above
gave me my shield
and the ocean waves
became my kingdom

you showed me a different way of life
you showed me how to love myself
because you gave me the best
of you and
that’s the only
that i
will ever
Am I Fine? Yes. No. I’m still uncertain but I’m learning to love myself.
Aug 2018 · 5.2k
sticks and bones
Carmella Rose Aug 2018
your curves are **** beautiful
your legs that show tiger marks
your thighs that were created by streaks of waves
the arms and calves build with love

they are criticized
judged by the eye of everyone
hello? is this fat?
*** that’s gross
they say
avoiding contact with
the realistic things
words do cut deeper than knives
and the thoughts were too cruel running
in my veins me being fed

so i changed
ate a little
starved myself
commitment to such
self abuse
being embarrassed of
how the curves of my body shapes me
why oh why?
who are you now
now i’ve got
bruises forming everywhere
on my body
scarring my pale tan skin
or should i describe it
as ash gray dead?

never would’ve thought that every words
that build up in my mind
became so life threatening
how they slay my emotions
and torture me
with pressure

sorry dear self for making you suffer
trying to fit in the wrong crowd
taking all these diets and pills
to make myself gorgeous
but in the end
the smile begun to fade
dark circles started to show up
and my perfect days were daunted
by the sickness of me,
anorexia — an eating disorder that  is characterized by low weight or strong desire to be thin resulting in food restrictions.
Aug 2018 · 281
7 stars above
Carmella Rose Aug 2018
a little while ago
i knew you
from an old song
sang by my friends
voices magestic like the sky
and lyrics painful as hell beneath
changing my life
spilling the glass of
that couldn’t be undone
i fight for you,
you battle for me,
there is no winning
in a person who
doesn’t want to win

you were all a part of a sky
and i was just a mere ****
of the grounds on earth
will i ever reach you?
fly to you?
enter the magic shop?
hope for someone
when at i’m at my lowest
or even swam the purple crowds
cheering on your master piece
as you produce rhythm
of gorgeous tones

i’m lost of words
knowing that the words
the lingers on your mouth
were reality
crashed upon you
at an early life

you gave me the best of me,
now i shall give you the best of you
blooming a dream
that someday could be reality
imagining holding each other
being selflessly happy
not caring about a single
thing in this world

i do love you,
but you were so up the sky
so hard to reach
and i’m so

maybe one day i could fly to you
i will always find you as my euphoria
the epiphany today
and the truth untold
to my fake love
to thy
so there was seven wonderful boys, that gave life to my soul, me as a mere little girl too naive to dream i’d see them someday, even though it’s impossible.
Aug 2018 · 3.4k
if the rain shouts sadness
Carmella Rose Aug 2018
the way i smiled outside
is the opposite of how i cry inside
the pain left me hanging
i couldn’t take it anymore
the pressure they all gave me
the thoughts and misconceptions
the society fed me
kept being toxic
all my efforts
were nothing but trash
i seemed unnoticed
and silently i waited for someone
to hear how much myself peaked at
that metal mask that hides
my identity
i talked about my flaws
at the mirror
shouting how much
sorrow i’ve been through
seeing my bloodshot red eyes
kept me wondering
am i that pitiful?
i am that small thing
in the big perfectionist world
i couldn’t accept myself
so i torn it apart
and left every bits and pieces
of the real me
i kept using all these
makeups skincare pills
just to hide the past
but it wasn’t enough
the expectations were as high as the skies
and i was on earth
i put all my best
but it still wasn’t enough
the oceans in my eyes
shows how much i’ve suffered all throughout
the years of judgement in the pits of hell
i am sorry for being sad
been always sorry
will always be sorry
for being who i am.
i don’t know how to be me anymore, it’s like being lost in a different crowd where i am the loser and everyone here is yet to **** me.
Jul 2018 · 289
finding a new door
Carmella Rose Jul 2018
my words
they were my weapon
from my deadly thoughts
but now they
just became the sour truth
they didn’t tell the tales
about how beautiful my sorrows were

i am not a great poet
i could not foresee the real world
i became a coward
not so long ago

i will finally be lost again
to find myself
to seek the sunset
and be at peace
I don’t know who I am, I was not the poet you all knew, I’m flying away and finding the real me. Goodbye for now. Adios.
Jul 2018 · 2.2k
Carmella Rose Jul 2018
when anger turns to pure tears
it’s because we’re all drowning
shallow or deep
we’ve been there
in the feeling of always dying
everyday i kept smiling
kept doing good
but all i feel is sadness

it feels right and wrong at the same time
i couldn’t explain the feeling i was experiencing
from drought to abundance of water
when could i feel free
when could i see a peaceful sunset
or even a sunlight shining on my face

i wish we could go back
when we were young
when everything didn’t matter
when time wasn’t a waste because we have is forever
now it all changed

i kept putting on a mask
just to be up on all the expactions you put me
i kept changing myself
just to fit in
i kept running away from the truth
that could set me free
i fell in love with the lies of my reflection
were all i see is depression

i hate to say i’m weak infront of the swarm
i face everyday
cause i’m afraid i’ll never be enough
so i cry myself to sleep
wake up the next morning feeling like lost

every scar in my arm,
every pills that i took,
every pain that i’ve felt,
every sad songs that i’ve listened to,
every screams unheard
i conquered it, because i kept going
even there is no direction of where i’m heading
even if the pavements were dark
even if i see no hope
I know it’s hard, but just keep on hanging on, the devil works hard at bringing us down but we have ourselves to be our angel.
Jun 2018 · 481
2am thoughts
Carmella Rose Jun 2018
i tried numbing the pain,
i tried writing it on a paper,
i made it my strength

but how come i always felt weak?
i wanna become happier,
but all i receive is hell

yesterday, today, tomorrow
will i ever be happy?
will i hear the birds singing?
or will i even see broad daylight

sun light on my skin?
the little maps on my face
the trace of my arts in my arm
the lovely eyes of mine

will i ever learn to see a new world
or even see how beautiful i really am
i wanna know the answers to all my questions when i can’t sleep in the middle of the night, please answer me my dear fate.
Jun 2018 · 764
describe yourself
Carmella Rose Jun 2018
i swear i was so confused
i couldn’t write a single bit of me
“who am i?” i asked
what is the purpose of me?
i struggled writing an essay about it
i can remember memories
our times, smiles and tears
but really what was i?

writing made me realise
i was too lost to remember
who i am
who was i
i could’ve sworn
that i knew the details
of your freckles
the alignment of your moles
the shade of your skin
your thick brows

but when you went away
i didn’t realise
that i wasn’t me when i’m with you
i’m a total stranger to myself
i am the only one struggling
with my identity

more than less
winter passed by in a blink
and everytime in my nightmares
you were there
i kept waking up missing you

you created me
you made myself
how i acted
or even how i talk

but i love you even more
even if it hurts.
i swear this boy changed me, no he made me, i felt good about it, but anyways it hurts so bad to miss him but everyday i kept loving him more.
Jun 2018 · 717
Carmella Rose Jun 2018
why’d i stop celebrating?
or even blowing candles?
or hoping that people would say sweet words
on the day that i was born

it was too toxic for me
too much people smiling
when they only want to eat the food
in my feast
and leave without
saying a word

gifts too genuine and expensive
but do they make me happy?
no cause money
is false hope of happiness

i tried to smile
for everyone stay strong
but why did everyone changed
as my age differs a single digit

i miss the old parties were
i could only be laughing
full of joy
but now it is full of
lies, my laughs
that you hear
are very pretentious
people change, as time passes by, and i’m left alone with the memories of the past, when i was the happiest now i am the saddest , yesterday i turned 15 and i felt too lonely that i couldn’t take it, so i took a slice of the cake and ate it with the stars that can’t be seen in a rainy night.
Jun 2018 · 659
a little tale
Carmella Rose Jun 2018
i saw a morsel of the truth in our universe
today is such a tiring day, i thought
that when i get used to seeing everything
it will be easy, no, it was harder
the longer the time passes by

i’d love to see all the vibrant colors of the rainbow
but whenever i looked up, i just saw a morose sky
i’ve met anger, sadness, and pain all at once
i hoped to see happiness on this voyage of mine
so i laid back at the green grass
watching the flowers wither
and sun go down the ends of earth
i waited from different seasons
seeing how everything changed
from snow to water dripping on
the leaves of years old trees

as the daylight went down,
our dear moon went up unraveling
the true beauty of darkness with sparkling stars
the moon shines better at dim
but it looked sad somehow
in pain as she glows from above

i kept thinking why?
no one knows, will i ever know?
probably not.

and just like the moon
we, people
art of god
has a little secret
a pain
that no one can know
even it hurts
the most
I’d love to tell you the raw self of me, but it was too much for me so I stayed quiet, and mourn about it by myself, cause no one will ever understand the pain, i don’t need you to understand me, just be with me and I’ll be fine.
May 2018 · 1.1k
fake love
Carmella Rose May 2018
as i looked at the mirror
i asked who are you?
nothing replied
it’s just me
too different
i can’t remember
the times where i recognize myself
i put on too much
mask for everyone
i kept listening to the same old music
i opened a door in my mind
cameras are flashing
on my eyes
i didn’t find someone
i just found myself
alone in darkness
where i could feel
everyone is watching
expecting me to create fire
when i only breathe ice
i thought if i pretended
that i was not a fool
and get up to
their expectations
i would be happy
but i didn’t i just caused
the real me to be lost
in paradise of hell
where the crowd is the judge
and you’re a contestant,
but they didn’t know
fools eventually
change the
life is a game, please be true, love yourself more you deserve all the love in this world, be a fool in a world full of critics.
Apr 2018 · 341
i can never fly
Carmella Rose Apr 2018
she said ‘what if i fall?’
he said ‘darling what if you fly?’
‘no i’ll always fall for you’
i hope you’ll always be here to catch me
Apr 2018 · 601
that flower
Carmella Rose Apr 2018
i kept a flower
for us
it reminds me
everyday as
it grows
my love for you
blooms like
that beautiful
will you still remember our love?
Apr 2018 · 381
my last goodbye
Carmella Rose Apr 2018
the sky is blue
like me and you,
you were never mine
but i lost you,
she loved
the concept
of your little world
that she created chaos
in her shattered heart
and ethereal mind,
every moment with you shined,
it so happened that
time is faster than people
and we’re moving on,
you’ll forget me and
i’ll forget you
i have now lost you.
Mar 2018 · 485
you are everything
Carmella Rose Mar 2018
you are
the peace after wars
the calm after storms
and everything
insanely beautiful
that shapes after
a tragedy
a beautiful tragedy.
Carmella Rose Mar 2018
i miss our late night conversations
our little world
the promises we
were meant to do
the times we actually
felt emotions
i miss those days
but you killed me
buried me with
our past and forgotten me
and now it’s my time
to arise from the dead
to bloom as
the rose
who revived
from the mourn
of love.
i am back from the dead.
Jan 2018 · 1.9k
truth behold
Carmella Rose Jan 2018
i do not know what is more tragic
waiting for you
in this pouring rain
or knowing that
you will never
is it worth the wait?
Oct 2017 · 1.0k
I lost You.
Carmella Rose Oct 2017
I thought I found love,
I thought permanent happiness came,
it was all rainbows
and the bright sun,
not noticing the blue skies,
the gray clouds,
the madness of this world,
I saw beauty in darkness,
I saw wars on light,
firing guns and stabbing knives,
life is like airplanes with bad engines,
even with all your efforts to be a good pilot,
it will all come crashing down,
love was like falling into a never ending cliff,
always falling,
never landing into something too great
but our dreams.
Our "almost" will always haunt me,
our memories will always be my favorite moment,
the looks we share
and feelings will never be forgotten,
for it is a wound,
that healed but scarred,
and left a marking that in this moment,
I became yours,
and you became mine.
Today was good,
but tomorrow is unexpected,
you'll never know what will happen,
sometimes what you expected,
isn't really going to happen.
When you look at me,
I can’t breathe,
the world stops,
and everything becames slow motion,
but is it right to love someone,
who doesn’t even know you,
for years I’ve been waiting for you,
all I ask is for you to be a part of
my life,
because you my love is my light,
that burns the bridges of my all mighty trust,
and now our story ends,
I have lost you,
The worst the of loving someone is the day you lose them.
Oct 2017 · 579
I fell.
Carmella Rose Oct 2017
I fell into your black hole,
I fell into the beauty of your darkness,
I fell onto the cliff of your all mighty love,
but you didn't catch me,
no one did,
i picked myself up
all together,
with million years of standing up,
I became strong,
then you go back,
gave me signs of love,
and didn't even notice
I was holding on so tight,
I was a daydreamer,
a night thinker,
but you're a heartbreaker.
Oct 2017 · 734
Our Love
Carmella Rose Oct 2017
i walked into your life,
and suddenly i was attached,
my love,
i had found you,
i have loved you
since i was in eighth grade.
roaring down every words,
on every nights i have cried,
it was sorrow i have met,
it was a chaotic journey
for both of us in this world,
full of unknown feelings,
denied emotions,
and dead souls,
looking from afar
i see beauty
at the end,
but how does
death conspire
and fell in love with life,
life asked,
"why does everyone hate death?"
death said,
"because you my love is a beauty in disguise,
while I was war in midst of destruction."
Our love is one sided, one is blinded by another and one is hurting from the chaos of longing.
Aug 2017 · 663
How to get over You?
Carmella Rose Aug 2017
how to get over thee,
how do i stop from thinking of you,
how do i stop remembering our happy moments,
that i still can't get over,
of how you gave me butterflies in my stomach,
you talk like you're from another time,
and yet you're here staying on my present,
and hopefully on my future,
how do i get over my addiction of your
beautiful eyes,
or even your scent of perfume
how do i distance myself from what keeps me alive,
and also kills me twice,
truth is i still hide my pain,
in my empty smiles,
but the eyes show how i really am,
but no one sees,
you are the one who saw me,
in my darkest and brightest times,
you accepted me,
and told me you'll never leave,
but times after times,
i see you and you smile at me,
and your smiles are different,
they weren't as shiny as before,
they were faded,
they show me sorrow.
it feels like crashing,
crashing inside a volcano,
and burning, burning...
until i feel nothing,
i feel nothing,
i've died a million times,
from hell woken up to earth,
i do not know what to do,
or what to expect,
i still see you in my nightmares,
i call it nightmares because even if i saw happy moments it still gives me anxiety,
it still gives me so much phobia,
that the thought of being hurt,
and again,
and again,
and again,
gives me so much heartache,
but i still open my heart,
to you,
because how do i get over thee.
how do you get over to someone that picked up your shattered heart from a broken past.
Aug 2017 · 766
Fallen Angel
Carmella Rose Aug 2017
she was beauty in sorrow,
a lightning in the sky,
a rainbow after rain,
but a devil in disguise,
she wasn't given a chance to prove,
now she rules,
she is a devil queen,
that could freeze up hell in a second,
and shut down earth,
her looks are perfect,
raven haired,
browns eyes,
pink lips,
but either do we know,
there is a dark side of hers,
that we could not see,
and even the brightest light
could not light up,
she's a princess of chaos and danger,
she loves the smell of blood
and sad faces
with angry souls,
she could see right through you,
so never ever get her mad,
'cause any second she could freeze you up,
her specialty was never fire,
it was ice that ignites her.
Aug 2017 · 754
The Moon and Sun
Carmella Rose Aug 2017
i hope the sun
would be more like the moon
like how it stands out
on the night
when the sun is tired
of us
i want the moon
the moon is a loyal companion
unlike the sun
that shines so bright
with blue sky
and white clouds,
but the moon
it looks beautiful
even with
a million stars
beside it
but without the sun
the moon
would be lifeless
and as they say
you complete me,
like the moon
with the sun.
Jul 2017 · 1.7k
Embracing your difference
Carmella Rose Jul 2017
i hope every door that closes on you another one opens,
another opportunity shows,
another chance,
something to hold on,
something better that won't ever close.
i hope the white walls and ceilings you see,
are as clean as your intentions,
those dirts are just imperfections,
that makes up you
you deserve everything you gave away,
you deserve a love that shines everyday, and shows rainbows after the rain.
you deserve the best.
you don't have to be like them,
you don't have to walk, talk or dress like them,
be your own person,
be the one who differs from everyone, that wants to be like any other person.
most girls, are smart and strong and beautiful,
so are you,
the only thing that makes you ugly is the fact that you don't want to embrace you difference.
you are beautiful,
maybe not in the looks but what's important is in the soul.
embracing yourself, is also accepting, if you're willing to accept then you could be free by their remarks to you 'cause i say "you're better than that in every ways."
Carmella Rose Jul 2017
you don't have to be the most beautiful girl,
to prove that you fit in,
you don't have to be conscious of your belly or your big *** arms,
you don't have to cut your hair for a reason that inlvoves him,
you don't have to have all the things in the world,
you don't need all that makeup for your acne or unperfect skin,
you don't have to shave your hairy arms and legs just because society thinks it's gross,
i think it's beautiful it shows us how much unique we are,
you don't have to hide your legs because you think it's big,
you don't have to be ashame about your stretch marks,
or your uneven skin tone,
you don't have to worry about what other thinks about you,
you are not pretty but you're are beautiful,
inside and out,
you are smart,
you are amazing,
you are everything that you chose to be.
never let one thing ruin your life,
be the one who chose to walk on the path that he/she wants,
be the one who is incredibly different,
flaunt yourself,
it's your personalized flag that is limited edition and will never be stolen by any other creature in this world.
never let someone belittle you by just your appearance, you're more than that, you deserve so much not just empathy.

— The End —