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J Apr 28
My life had got colder, seeping itself into numbness.
Coping wasn't possible or needed
because if I just slept or drank or took some sort of drug
I was okay
I thought we were both going to get stronger.
And a huge part of me bets I wasn't missed
when we pretended the other didn't exist.
I don't exist.
I wanted to feel something and at the same time
I was grateful that I couldn't.
  I couldn't stand to be here
wishing you'd make another account to talk to me
seeing if you'd just try a little harder
to keep me
or to get me back
but you told me that if we argued and I left the room
You'd just let me go.
I should have kept that in mind then
you said you loved me
And I wonder what love means
I always assumed it meant the will of risking all for one another
without the need to
I lost it and threw myself
to the ground
for the tears to pour
or at least trickle
and I couldn't even make the expression.
I left because of my own attitude mixing with yours
and I was too clingy.
Codependency is a ***** I think.
Not fair like Karma.
I left because I couldn't take the feeling of not being loved
I was so used to you loving me completely
I left because I didn't think you cared
and after Justin, I thought I knew better.
Even if I didn't show it
it killed me
and it's still killing me inside and out.
Just know I'd still take you back
I just can't stop writing
without mentioning you.
but since it's poetry, I can do whatever I want
so I'm weaving you into every word
every space
every sound and meaning
Sydney Sydney Sydney
T Dec 2020
He awakened my eyes to an unrivalled love,
Insomnia grips me,
I stare at him,
Intoxicated by his very being.
In that moment,
I never thought I'd ever have to watch him,
Sophia Nov 2020
Ok, I admit it,
You're the guy
All my love quotes
Are about.

You're the one
I'm thinking
Of right now.

Cause I just
Really love you.

I still love you.
I swear,
I always will.
Maria Hernandez Jul 2020
I will always be there for you
I will always care about you
I will always fight for you
I will always love you

you were never there for me
you never cared, your silence was the key
you never fought for me, instead, you broke me free
you didn't love me, you  never accepted you and me
because you  judged a person I was never meant to be

Someday you'll realize I was there when no one else was.
That I loved you like no other, and I didn't judge you like the others
Makes me wonder, why do I still bother?
Dorcas May 2020
I feel really angry and stupid..
It's aching that you became my regret.
Up till now, I still wonder what exactly you were afraid of, for real, cause it definitely wasn't commitment.
I never thought uncertainty would be this painful but that's little compared to what you felt about my communication and trust issues and I'm really sorry about that, I really am.

I really have a lot to say, so much and I'm going to because there's no other person to say it to than you and I don't want to keep harboring my pain just to feed my ego.
I just let go of someone I really loved and still love but I feel uncertain about loosing him
Euphrosyne Mar 2020
What is love when it's not you.
Because of you I found love again. Thank you diane. Now I am proud of saying my feelings for you are true.
Euphrosyne Mar 2020
Trying to shun
I don't want this to be done
I don't want this love to be gone
And I don't want to end my day
Without you under the sun

I know our feelings are true
And I want our us to pursue
Please while in process
Dont fall through
I'll promise that always
our love will be brand new

And there I was all out
Thought I had everything figured out
I take one step away
Trying my own devout
Then I find myself coming back to you

A gravitational love
Given from above
That maybe we were meant to fall in love
Girl, we don't have to get rid of this love

Everytime I take one step away
I find myself in front of you
And finally say I'll stay
I won't waste any time and make a delay
Because time always comes by I might lose you and you'll say I need to stay away

I'm not trying to shun
I just don't want this to be done
I just want this love to have fun
And cease our day under a beautiful sun.
Everytime I step back I always end up in front of you maybe just maybe Diane I'm meant to you.
Aaron LaLux Sep 2019
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Aaron LaLux Mar 2019
She cries during ***,

a set of collective regrets expressed,
see at least you still have some emotions left,
in a world that’s gone cold,
and most people stumble around like the walking dead,

no Norman Reedus or Andrew Lincoln though,
just an aborted fetus and a broken heart with no treatment,
at the bar with a babe drinking,
till I get assassinated at a theatre like Abe Lincoln,

feeling like I’m in a real life Soap Opera drama,
the way I get caught up in these women’s feelings,
one minute she’s laughing the next minute she’s crying,
she apologizes and I tell her she never has to apologize for her feelings,

at least she still feels things,
says she’s been ***** before,
so when I go rough with her she gets flashbacks,
and it’s hard to face facts that have happened before,

I tell her it’s okay,
I tell her she can tell me anything,
I tell her sometimes it helps to communicate,
but she clams up and doesn’t say anything,

so I get up and go to the shower,
to try and wash off the stress,
moments later she comes in and joins me,
somewhere between sedated and upset,

at a hotel somewhere in Tulsa,
a hotel that they call boutique,
but it feels haunted and a bit spooky,
the wind howls and the floors creak,

and it gives me the creeps,
because in a way this hotel feels like me,
all nice and hip and trendy on the outside,
but inside everything is not what it seems,

haunted from the drama of these girls that were abused,
that then decided to transfer that energy to me,
which I in a way deserved because I used to serve,
this sort of abuse out to girls that thought they were into me,

you get what you give which is exactly what karma is,
so now I’m trying to help heal the Collective Feminine,
from all the damage that’s been done,
by the Collective Masculine,

so go ahead,

smash your conflicts into me,
drown me in the ocean of the the tears of your traumas,
scream shout let it all out until there’s nothing to let go of,
I love you unconditionally continually no menopause or commas,

no mental pause or drama,

you are an incredible creation,
resilient and brilliant,
and I am hear to be a platform,
if you’re in distress I will be your outlet,

so you can vent the stress,
even if that means crying during ***,
and I will be here to hear everything you need to express,
a Living Light in this world of The Walking Dead,

so it’s okay if you cry during ***,

a set of collective regrets expressed,
see at least you still have some emotions left,
in a world that’s gone cold,
and most people stumble around like the walking dead,

no Norman Reedus or Andrew Lincoln though,
just an aborted fetus and a broken heart with no treatment,
at the bar with a babe drinking,
till I get assassinated at a theatre like Abe Lincoln…

∆ LaLux ∆

Tulsa, OK.
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