// There are ****** objects
objects designed as *** aids
women for whom *** is paid
then there's you
you who has been used
you who was abused
they stole something that wasn't theirs
what insurmountable cost is it to repair??
they ***** you
but they didn't break you
your spirit is in tact
they can never take that
all they see are your curves
they look they purve
craving forbidden fruit
they don't know the truth
they don't know you
they want the package
when it's the contents that matter
if they only knew the damage
it does to the latter
if only they knew
I know
I see
ICU //

She grabbed a can from off the shelf
the only plan to save her health
to get so drunk she could forget the pain
she drowned it once now she will drown again
pulling the only ring she will ever receive
still can't figure out why he had to leave
tipping her neck the amber crawled inside her
the sweet sprawl of ice-cold cider
who needs a man when you've got alcohol
swimming seductively within your soul
man shes glad she didn't breed
all she needs is this bad seed.

I am vacant with my desires
somewhat complacent with what I admire
would a loaf of bread suffice
to hold court beneath the knife
to fill a void to play a part
bread fills the belly not the heart
so I’m left with fleshly urges
my body numb as mind it purges
repetition has become my means
a driven madness by routine
I told myself it all shall pass
but I’ve yet set sight on last
a machine is what I’ve become
a madness beating the same drum
a bandleader I am not
I’m just the words that you forgot
you left them here for me to read
on your pastures I gently feed
but what is a man without a mind of his own
what can he reap if his seed wasn’t sown
I will tell you of the weeds that weave
and the words he has that do deceive
a storyteller I’ve become
now my heart has been rendered numb
an ancient vessel who’s lost its way
the winds blow north as the sun does fade
so it’s said that he does sail
towards the sunset where words they fail.

She told me she was heartbroken
that all words that could be said had already been spoken
so I offered her silence, my love, and my kindness
as I knew of her pain
I didn't need her words either she need not explain

Sometimes we break when we leave ourselves open
but we can only grow stronger once we've been broken
for we are not sculptures admired from afar
we are beautiful because of our scars
so witness my bumps and my ridges
each one a story of forgiveness

I surrender myself before you
won't you lay out your pieces
that I may bind then with gold and glue
that I may build you all anew .

There's beauty in the fall
as it stumbles into winter
to hear the jackdaw call
and the trees that slowly splinter
the crispness of leaves
under foot under trees
paints a mottled picture
acorns hang like earrings
such a seasonal fixture
a squirrel darts
from branch to branch
he looks at me
then continues his dance
Yes there's beauty in the fall
as it stumbles into winter
how I feel so small
beneath the trees that splinter

I could have been a scarlet queen
a jack of hearts or noble king
yet instead I turned my head
buried my feelings and played dead
watched the world from behind glass
I closed my ears and hid my heart
but alas the storm raged inside
there was no place for me to hide
no matter what I did or said
my emotions spilled my heart it bled
and so here I am
a broken spirit a desperate man
that seeks solace in what's little left
a kind word a measured breath
whom counts the days till your return
or better still finally learns
that peace is not an acquired taste
but what remains when you no longer chase

Tell me your secrets and I will draw you a map
to a place where we both can forget
and leave our troubles far behind
live out our days in the land of the blind
I never saw you as the prettiest thing
but rather what joy to my heart you did bring
now time will pass in the blink of an eye
the day will come when we both shall die
know that I forgot all of my pain
and though I need not explain
I will love you forever and forever again

Remember when we would lay in the sun
when summer breeze and dreams were fun
I can hear your laughter in my mind
and see your smile sketched in the sky
as if painted by a pilots trail
but now those things lie beyond the pale
I wish for calmer clearer futures
for the sun to never set
as I am just a comfort creature
that fills his life with one regret
I regret the days that passed too soon
that I spent mourning the moon
oh alas the days that turned to night
the days I surrendered and didn't fight
for love for peace for emptiness
for you, my heart that's truly blessed
and so sorrow flows with time
a maiden voyage a tempered line
ships they sail from host to coast
and me I fear I loved the most
if only captured by my words
I give them all to you who heard
now my time is surely done
at least I can say I felt the sun.

Her daddy's gone
he's flown away
the skies are quiet
on this darkened day
but for one little bird
who sings her tune
a sombre melody
to a hollow moon
she sings for loss
for love her first
and though he's flown
and she has grown
a daughter's love is always known
he may be gone
but she sings on
knowing she can sing
because he has Angel wings.

Nobody knows me
I was naked, they clothed me
made me what I am
told me I was a man
it's okay if you're not brave
just don't be a slave
to others ideas
don't manifest their fears
you are free
you always were
accept your own beauty
for they tried to use me
but I said not anymore
I won't be your *****
I left at my own speed
because I needed to breathe
I needed to be
so follow my lead
or don't
you're strong on your own
we were born all alone
and will die all the same
they gave you a name
but that's not what I will call
I will see you as all
the love and the beauty
that's you and that's me

..and so I sink into the brink
one that lives to only think
the burden of word then
is heavier than most
to say I'm a poet
was never a boast
to say I'm a poet
is to say I am lost
I have all the words
but at what cost
to say I'm a poet
is to tell you I'm ******
that the words that I write
have my mind and my hand
praise me or hate me
whatever you will
just know that it won't phase me
the words will come still.

Run my child, please run
turn your back upon the sun
let the wind carry you home
where angels sing
and peace is known
dare to dream as dreamers do
face the old and embrace the new
for you will rise and crash like waves
because your heart knows not what it craves
be it love or be it lust
soon this world will turn to dust.

Lesson learned is not a phrase I am about to utter
because my teacher developed a stutter
told me I needed to lie low
let it blow over
I wasn’t one for sailing but I knew the wind would take me where I needed to go
so I blew kisses into the distance
asked for no assistance
but got well wishes as if I was on my last breath
lying in a hospital bed
the food is better than you expect
if your taste buds haven't dried out yet
I’m slowly coming undone
a dwindling of perception
I swear I saw you one time
trying to catch my kiss
I missed I know I did
having a direction was never my thing
I'm glad you were my compass
but now the needle keeps spinning
I cannot find my north.

4 A.M.
A body lays slain
facedown in a pool of blood
a halo to match her name
stabbed 4 times in the chest
a street worker
like all the rest
who would want to her hurt her?
- to put her to rest
your guess is as good as mine
she may have not been the best
but someone was prepared to cross that line.
————————
An innocent as far as I could tell
first night on the job
tell me who goes to hell?
- those who give or those who rob
her next of kin were called
so that they could name her
once at birth and now at death
twice they tried to save her
an umbilical cord wrapped around her neck
a noose just two months earlier
maybe now she got her wish
released back to the sea
this angel fish.

I could be the biggest romantic in the world
or just the biggest idiot
still trying to figure that out
maybe that makes me the latter
I could have had her
I could have had them all
but pity the fool
that puts heart before pleasure
what is his measure?
is it inches or love
when is too much enough?
are they tears of joy or of pain
I tried to explain I always do
but words are worthless unless true
so here it is my unbridled mind
watch me unwind its music box
the music stopped and now silence
hide me in your quietness, my love
no never mine, I lie
in memory and in bed
with words I wed
what never was
a never love.

You’re such a tease you ease between nonchalant and fervour • I favour the latter the scattershot words of intent • you invent new ways to torture me oh fortunate me to be the subject of such cruelty • what is a man to do that’s caught in the crosshairs of a shrew • to reciprocate with such hapless abandon or offer up random excuses why he must refuse this attention • my heart tried to stage an intervention but the other members rejected the motion • it's already had some wear and tear so please can you just handle with care.

Happy new year
to all of my friends
I wish you were here
to celebrate the end
the end of a decade
that's already over
so let's ride the parade
don't look over your shoulder
I lost someone dear
and I know you have too
but let's make one thing clear
that all things renew
new relationships
new beginnings
I'm thankful for you all 
so let's see what this year brings
whatever may befall.

When I'm old and gray, you may feed me with a spoon
like I was a child today dancing around the room
pretend you are a plane dropping food like bombs
or even a choo choo train going nom nom nom
sit down next to me and let's do a jigsaw puzzle
reassure me constantly when I get in a muddle
help me climb the stairs step by step
be the one who cares if I break my neck
tuck me into bed you can read me a story
tell me all the things you did until I am snoring
so when I'm old and gray you may feed me with a spoon
until then just smile and say,then will be too soon..

Listen if you please
to my twisted soliloquy
I’m not from around here
I’m just rumors on a breeze
I come from afar
some say the mountains
others the stars
like an absent friend
you will remember me I promise
or else your names Thomas
mine is Adam the first
I am the atoms that burst
the very fabric of being
the fabric of genes
denim, denial, destiny, defile
I've been here a while
and I will be here a while longer
even though I don't belong here
the oceans don't know my depths
the mountains have not reached my peaks
all these beliefs I have not kept
for there is something greater that I seek
but I cannot utter its name
some may call it love
but that has garnered too much fame
for you've mistook love for what is fake
because it's not something you can take
it's as simple as a breeze
the same that carried me
yet unlike I it has no needs
it's as full as the oceans
and tall as the mountains
I had the notion
that I could just pen
write my own legend
but that too must END

A steed agreed to carry me
across the land of foreign hands
so that I could wed beneath the stars
to a maiden who had my heart
although it was an auspicious occasion
she was not committed to this relation
for she had already set her sights
upon those same starry lights.

★★★★★

Unbeknownst to me and what we agreed
she promised her hand to anothers band
where she would shine as bright as stars
and I would be left with a shattered heart
for this truly would be a rare occasion
to witness the birth of a new sensation
one known to some as love of light
as you look upon a starry night.

I’ve not been feeling too clever
I’m under the weather
head in the clouds
for crying out loud
a catchphrase of cliches
this purple haze
was man-made
not in China
from a ******
I tried to squeeze
into my genes
I guess my but
is too big
can you ever forgive?
- this interruption
the language corruption
just trying to do my best
been studying for life’s test
my final exam
gone ham
and turkey
I like to do it *****
feel the soil between my toes
plant my feet and watch me grow
I am a giant
of egoic proportions
my stoic abortions
killing ideas before they’re born
feel free to yawn
go take a break
I will be right back
for goodness sake
you need a nap
your poetry has become absurd
we used to hang on your every word
now this sloth has found a new tree
yet still, it’s a sin for me to sleep
maybe I should try gluttony
and see what else I can add to this cacophony
am I even still making sense?
- or do I need to be benched
I’ve taken more shots at goal
then I care to remember
still keep missing the hole
despite having a mentor
I meant her
she was my teacher
she taught me time waits for no man
yet here I am
still head in the clouds
she wouldn’t be proud
but then I’m not too clever
I’m just under the weather.

masters of deception
taste your corruption
you take something perfect
and fill it with hate
tell me I’m wrong
that I don’t belong
that’s what you’re good at
twisting facts
to divide and conquer
fill them with fear
I’m not playing my part
I’m not white by design
I’m white by luck
and so I’m stuck
in a war over skin
where to begin
with stupidity
that stupid grin
can’t hide sin
I smell it on you
you stink
of fear and lies
they all rise
like a single hive
they all white
not with purity
but forcefully
trying to scrub
the world clean
till all that’s left
is what reflects
vanity
with a pinch of insanity

Oh heavenly light that guides us
lead us through the night and disasters
and your healing bestow
upon the young and the old.
May your seeds of wisdom be planted
and the wishes of enlightenment granted
so that our eyes are opened to sight
so that we too may see the light.

I see your signature etched in their flesh
a cats tale for each of his lives
tell me who’s to be next
let me go sharpen my knives
I guess my skin is far too pale
for even just one of your tails
does not mean I’m a slave in my own right
just that my master is out of sight
but not out of mind
my taxes paid but still, he robs me blind
how can you compare one suffering to another?
- you can’t each due is fulfilled upon death
mine is an absent lover
and yours a pound of flesh.

I would sleep for a thousand weeks
if those dreams of you I could keep
over and under I wander
my dreamland of wonder
where your beauty never fades
my nights I would never trade, for days
let us live amongst the stars
I would be content just to stare
at you, with you, us two
everything would appear new
from loves point of view
the hearts aperture
needs nothing more
if only the dreams of you to keep
I would lay down my pen
and my tongue no more speak
as your love is heaven sent
you bare the fragrance of heavens scent
I wear your perfume like a second skin
your stardust has become my lint
oh love, my star, my dream
let me keep
I close my eyes and sleep.

Come to me, my wayward child
take the time to laugh and smile
embrace every twisting turn
for life is a lesson you can learn
from experience your knowledge grows
don’t get hung up on the lows
for every dip that you may feel
will come a high just as real
find your heart within the silence
never lose sight of who the child is
as you may grow envious of age and power
but that allure is just a broken tower
built upon a sandy pit
all the glitter and gold please ignore
and focus on what’s been writ
by wiser men that came before.

Still trying to fathom
the chasm
of reality and fiction
the distance between
the living dream
I've been lost for years
at most the spears
that hold me down
adorn my crown
a constant fixture
jewels of desire
the perfect picture
that’s seldom mired
by light of truth
a lazy excuse
to live like leeches
comfort creatures
from mouth to ***
no need to ask
what happened
why we’re weapons
of mass consumption
our function
to eat and breed
is all we need
from Eden we fled
not even the bread
of salvation
could quench our greed
so heavens door
remains shut
we’re out of luck
doomed to repeat the past
to remain within the vast
expansion between
reality and fiction
which some have christened
the living dream.

Her voice was transcribed upon the wind
and carried towards my ears
in thought I had already sinned
but I'm the only one who hears.

I caught her smile as she approached
which stopped me in my tracks
I didn't know if it was mirage or hoax
I couldn't tell fiction from fact.

She offered me a greeting
I can't remember what I replied
all thoughts were now fleeting
as I was still tangled in her eyes.

She said her name was something
something that I don't recall
I'm sure I replied a dumb thing
if any of this happened at all.

I'm watching the rain, again
watching how it's driven
crashing from the heavens
towards the Earth
bringing new life, rebirth
such a precious commodity
yet it's treated with triviality
man cannot live without water
but will fight to death for an idea
being heralded a martyr
shedding precious tears
tell me why you fight?
why you need the pain
when everything will be alright
right as rain.

Words they made me
now they break me
fracturing my psyche
treading so lightly
so not to disturb
the words
shadows of sentences
how could I have prevented this
where was fair warning
heralded by morning
now afternoon has come and gone
a battle lost the war not won
deviations delight at dusk
brain reduced to a single husk
barricades hold no strength
the words they come
they don’t relent
beliefs bolstered by burning desire
the mind is jaded it does tire
a saint, a sinner a sentence between
grow faint, it dimmers no longer gleams
eternal this casket
who asked it
to be
this story
has ended
for all to see.

There you go again
investing
your love in
other people
is it evil
to want love back
or at least attract
some kind of feeling
is that just stealing
affection
writing for love
to avoid rejection
my childish ambition
I talk but don't listen
how can I hear
when my heart beats loudly
when my bad thoughts cloud me
I know I'm in the wrong
that I don't belong
in your heart
or even just a part
of your attention
too much to mention
too little to care
I'm completely aware
of my own situation
of our relation
no ship to sail
no friend to fail
just an odd acquaintance
the passing patience
of two souls
we met once
and played our roles
but that scenes done
now I'm all alone.

pitter patter goes the rain
chitter chatter goes my brain

Honestly
you confuse me
like I like you
but you use me
so I write you
and you ignore me
then we will talk
and I need more
which makes it awkward
and frustrating
and you’re flirting
but not with me
so it’s hurting
so I’m leaving
for my needs
but I like you
because you’re vulnerable
so I write you
because I’m vulnerable
but you confuse me
when you use me
as a way for you to flirt
with another guy
and it hurts
because I won’t lie
because honesty
is honestly all I have
and if you feel like being honest too
then I’m here to hear what is true.

I once had a dream
where I ate duck ice-cream
it was drippy and trippy
and all kinds of sticky
there were fairies that hopped
and cherries on top
on top of the duck
on top of the cream
on top I was stuck
on top, I did scream
as I waded through dream
I swim and I swam
through an ocean of cream
melted I felt it
up to my ears
I tried and I cried
my ice cream of tears
but then the duck spoke
and said you're quackers
it was then I awoke
in my undercrackers.

I licensed my likeness
to the wizards of Maine
but took issue with misuse
of character and name.
A pointy hat and long beard
make an excellent disguise
for someone a dumb one
who wants to appear wise.

I heard a bird
it chirped
with glee
my phone it burped
with urgency
I looked outside
and then to screen
another message
from you to me.

She was an open wound
she bled for all to see
sometimes healing is too soon
sometimes you need to bleed
I would offer her a shoulder to cry on
or even just a bed to lie on
to sleep away her pain
but maybe just an ear to hear
will suffice all the same
now I can’t say I know her well
but even still I can tell
she’s worth more than she values herself
not that a person can be defined by wealth
ones true value is what they create
when they live through love and not through hate
so if what she creates is beautiful
that must mean she’s beautiful within
and if she feels the need to bleed
(then that’s okay)
but I hope that she reads
and then begins
to see what others see.

The tree
has no need
to believe
in God
or son of man
no rhyme
or reason
at all
through time
the Kings and Queens
will fall
but the tree
still stands
so tall.

Her name was autumn
her hair a colour auburn
like a fallen leaf
drifting on the breeze
spiraling spiraling
out of control
a free spirit
with a wild soul
for she had no master
a limitless beauty
all I heard was her laughter
as she danced for me.

I searched for innocence
it was not there
I looked for respect
it didn't care
I needed warmth
and got the cold
I yearned for youth
yet felt so old
I asked for honesty
it told me lies
I wanted life
but it had died