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Natalia Oct 19
You tread a fine line
Afraid to look down.
Instead, pretend to be fine.

Avoid the doubts and fears.
No matter the cost,
The floods of tears.

They come biting back.
The insecurity,
A welcoming snack.

Latched on for dear life.
You find solace
At the edge of a knife.

Comforted and bewildered.
Malignant, yet benign.
You are bruised and blistered.

Here is where growth lies.
Shruti Atri Aug 29
Blank pages,
Doubtful thoughts,
Lonely nights,
Painful sighs...

Bound in my silence,
Starved for touch,
Gasping for warmth,
Trapped behind a screen.

The walls
Will soon
Claim
My soul.
Stay safe.
Ellie Sutton Jul 29
This is a nice walk.
Good job I've gone
Out and about
I ate way too much today
I need to burn that off
Christ, my belly looks huge!
OK, breathe in, breathe in
I wonder what I'll have
For tea tonight
It'd better be something light
I had a bar of chocolate last night
I wonder how many calories
I've left for the day
What do My Fitness Pal say?
600. That's okay
BUT
It would be better
To have less
I'm at a party this weekend
So I'll probably eat and drink
More than I should
I could just skip tea altogether?
Wow, my thighs really rub together
That's disgusting
Yeah, I probably should
(I definitely shouldn't wear shorts)
I wonder what I'll do tonight
Maybe go for a run?
I'm tired from last night's, but
I'll be happier once it's done
I look disgusting
In everything right now
Maybe it'll help me be
A little trimmer for that party?
Oh God, that person's looking at me
I bet they're judging
My double chin
OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO BREATHE IN.
For God's sake
Why can't I just be thin?
There are too many people about
I should have waited
'til it was dark
My flab is less stark
Less to remark on
If people can't see properly
It's OK, nearly home now

...That was a nice walk.
Undead Nomad Jul 4
something isn't nothing

I don't like it when people consider the minute nothing
I don't like it at all
something is wrong with that belief
to consider the small unimportant
the microscopic non-existent
meaningless
purposeless...
a figment of pure imagination
a non sequitur of time
as if size itself is the only factor of what is...
dismissing reality is a fatal flaw
for when that insignificant nothing
infects you
replaces your meaningless parts with rot
turns your own body against you
discards the fabric of your meaningless existence thread by thread into the null--
when your state triggers the process of decay
slowly killing you--
while the residual effects trigger the mechanisms of the minds of those around you to start discarding your future--
while every memory becomes thinner
when you start fading
walking your own path to becoming emptiness
to become the thing you dismiss
to become dismissed
from reality
from life
but slowly enough
to realize you want to live
to have that thing you didn't believe...
existed--

you will beg for something
and receive true nothing
Mmm... My mind teeters between the meaning of life at the micro level and its effect on the macro.
Oh, how forgiven are we in death,
A price to pay, in the loss of life.
Oh, how unloved when we reside
Yet remembered so little, as we die
Living on in memories, of a few
That had, in life.. subtly touched us
And then cease to be, immaterial
Like many a soul has, before us.
Tragedy is when.. misunderstood,
And never were they, ever heard.
Tragic lives, and disavowed care,
And never was a beautiful word,
Catered to them, in their winter fair.
Do them a favour, and heed 'em well
As they .. in flesh, still breathe in air.
Do not,  please cry out in penitence,
And don their graves in flowers, rare.
Love them when they are still alive. For death will surely liberate each one of us.
-elixir- Jun 7
My soul burns through these eyes
while I seek you out
through this blizzard
of life.
The rain of my soul,
wets my face,
as you dried it
with your winds of light.
I am oblivious
to your presence,
yet you're there.
Amongst the shadows
of my mind,
and blood in my veins.
Made to enliven me,
like an elixir.
Intuitions are the whispers from our soul
I smile foolishly
There is everything wrong
Going on, in my life now
Yet, I laugh like an idiot
**** care, about it all
I have lived all too carefully
Picking pebbles on the way
I have sinned not too much
Pious is the delirious clay
What else can I say, I do not
Try to defend all that I have
Lived; and I smile coyly
What has anyone begotten
By not living it in other way?

Find yourself, live to seek
Seek and pursue, until clear
It becomes. Until you find out
All that there is to find out !
Or you die trying, with the
Knowledge, of not have gone
Down, without even a stare.
Jay M Apr 18
Life is a mystery
Solved by living through each day
Picking and choosing each little thing you do
To hopefully come out the way you dream
Even though oftentimes reality is ugly
So unfair and we yearn for things to stay
Remain and not bid us adieu
Things heat up, water to steam
In the night, people scream
Some with delight, others of fright
Some real, some making a foolish deal

Up is right and down is left
South is east and north is west
Stalking about like a major theft
Doing it's very, very best
Throwing a stone in the lake
But it comes back and in its wake
Rush toward the shore twenty more

None hear the cries of the unsure
But discover the corpses of their mistakes
Pondering what could have happened
When there were witnesses a plenty
All spewing acidic lies to disfigure
The twisted thing they could never cure

Life gives and takes
As an ocean pushes and pulls
Metal above a candle blackened
Polished to be shiny, like new

A mother lulls her child
Tells it to calm, no more to be wild
Look to the sky, as it changes hue
Does that not calm a restless soul?

Rolling clouds, endless expanse that is the sky
Some beg and plea and ask it why
But the answer they seek is not in the great vastness overhead
Or in the miles of earth and life underfoot
It's within oneself, and in those you meet
Find it, and embrace it
Don't stop searching
Especially if you're uncertain what you're searching for.

- Jay M
April 17th, 2020
Ramblings and thoughts.
It's in these moments of calm that I feel the most panic
These moments when the TV is on
telling me a detailed story of someone else's life,
these moments when I am the most distracted,
that I am also the most aware of what's happening inside my body
Inside my head
It's in these moments of calm that I am the most afraid.
IV.III.MMXX @ 17:23
Undead Nomad Dec 2019
Tonight I ponder purpose,
a reason for existance,
the force to my resistance,
and food for my superstitions.

What am I, a producer or consumer?
who am I, the savior or the ender?

I live to wonder why and how to compromise these feelings
deep inside this organic device.

Icll pay the price to my destiny lender
while waiting still for my untimely surrender but first a question to the future:

where is your expectation
under examination?
I need some inclination,
a simple indication,
perspiration of inspiration.

The sun could shine through
yet my space is always shaded.
I'll try to block my eyes
to the half that's always jaded;
make tribulations no longer be berated.

Someone give me the weight
I've waited to feel for so long
because my body aches
for a chance to grow strong.
Meh... I realize this one seems unfinished (it is) but I don't have anything else to add.
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