There's noises in the dark, they're keeping me on edge,
the scars have made their mark, a result from all I pledge.
I'm waiting for disaster, but it's always coming in a disguise,
I wish that time would go by faster, I'm counting days by the skies.
Oh, I know I went brain numb,
my wits were just going to waste.
Like a hand without a thumb,
like a tongue that cannot taste.
I'm seeing dreams while I'm awake, and it's making me lose sleep.
A soul can bend, but can it break? And can dry eyes still weep?
Sitting behind three locked doors and I still fail to feel safe,
I hear cracking above on the floors,
my skin is raw and my ears chafe.
Oh, I know I've become uptight,
my shoulders will never again slack.
Like two eyes without sight,
like a spine without a back.
"Just because you're paranoid,
doesn't mean they're not after you."
Everything around you has been destroyed,
but they tell you that isn't true.
Oh, I know I've lost control,
but it was already falling apart.
Like a life without a soul,
like a body without a heart.
It's 2 in the morning
& my mind wanders to you.
Are you asleep?
Is your body tossing and turning?
Are you thinking of me as well?
Are you craving the embrace
of my hand in yours
as we mumble forgotten
words to each other
in our deep
I can almost hear the deep
Inhale of your lungs and
the prolonged exhale
as your lips part
She motioned for me to move
I repeated my reply
"Do you not wish for my love?"
No I do not wish for lie
"But we should be, cant you see"
No I cannot, remember?
"Please do speak, I need it for m-"
I stood off the bench we shared
She looked as she wished, naive
"Was it you for who he cared?"
I saw the white web she weaved
"You are to he, waves of sea "
Her gaze caught mine, and she sobbed
"Never seek, time kills you and m-"
And then she rushed forward and grabbed my hand
"If I cannot turn back time and have he"
"I wish to never exist"
I combed through her hair to remove the sand
"I'm afraid you never did, but only"
"In my foolish head"
And then she was gone and I was alone
Without comfort, or imagination
I walked to my place calling mothers phone
I laughed, an empty reverberation
"I'm sorry but you were right, he lost mind"
"Never chase a hope, or dream"
"Because I am put in physical binds"
I felt my head start to gleam
Giggling, I broke my phone on the ground
"How can perfection be achieved!" I said
"It cannot," I whispered without a sound
Looking up, there was a solution laid
"Goodbye," finally filled with happy tone
An explosion of peace ripped through my head
And that was all, a single piece of lead
Evidence of my answer
To impossible problems
As I step out into the world
A starry night sky greets me
And for some reason
I bump into you
And there, you apologized
Thinking you did something
That I would've been mad about
But no, all I wanted was affection
And there, you told me
How you asked her how she felt
And if she could reciprocate your feelings
And if you had a chance
And you pretended I was her
As you told your story, back hug
As you gently face me, another hug
And then and there, I felt confused
I absolutely hate
when somebody says;
you're so young
why in the world
would you ever want
to hurt yourself?
because, little do they know
that the pain
behind my eyes,
stems from a story
nobody seems to be able
and that the
lacerations on patient's arms
are from me
trying to get the demon's
little do they know
that my wisdom,
is from the centuries
of the pure evil
I had to endure.
that my age
isn't rather fitting.
or that beauty
is just a fucking
feel my insides
as they rot
and spoil further.
so, fuck you
that you know me
on the way that I bleed.
because you may think
I have everything in the
world to live for,
when in reality
all of that everything
Over time I've realized I'm the type of person who can draw anyone in
Mysterious, yet comforting to be around
An altruistic listener, an effective conversationalist, a trusted confidant
Modest as I may be, I do understand where I stand with most people
I'm the person you call when you're having a bad day, or need a ride, or even to bask in the glory of your successes;
a promotion at work, a new fling
I'm that person
The person to go to with your something;
your need, or your news
Intriguing from afar
Many want to delve into the depths
Uncover the story within
Until they realize that there's more
There's always more
Like a black hole pulling you in
Only to find that it's expanse goes on indefinitely
After a while my quips, my quirks
No one can fathom traveling the distance
So they don't
They turn back
I willingly release them
of my gravitational pull
Then we both float on
In opposing directions
It's funny how one can be too much
Yet somehow, never enough
Time is terrible
in the sense
that it is never
It favors you
and betrays you
It gives you
for a second—
in an instant.
Years of happiness
in a tick.