Yawn and stretch
Mid-morning nap, check
Time to scent the premises to ward off predators
Keeping watch over the pack
A century's job is never done
Scenting, check
Lost in the smell of love
Oh how they leave me piles of love
I find them by chance and roll myself in them
It's almost like they are with me
Back to work keeping watch over the world
How am I supposed to protect things
If I'm not supposed to be perched on the lookout tower
I must do, what I must do
Warning the passersby that this place is safe, protected,  check
'tis my job
Back to basking in the love
The piles of scented coverings left behind
I believe they scent them just for me
Surely they must know I need them when they are off and away
Yes, piles of love.  
Back to work
Waiting to be rewarded for a successful day of guarding the premises
Waiting for the belly rubs that signify a job well done
The sun is low as I lay perched upon the tower

Sugar sand beaches reach the horizon
Water so far it is naught but a glimmer in the distance
Sitting in the warmth of that powder-like earth
The sun seems to set over a desert
Purple and pink in smoking swirls of Heaven
Sopping up the beauty in open pores
Ready to receive all that is offered
Watching the sun begin to slumber
As Luna's light begins to shine in bulbous splendor
The glimmer seems to twinkle as brightly as the stars as they awaken
Multiplying by the moment
Mesmerizing, as the lights seem to grow
The air changes, a little cooler now
The sand turns to black glass glistening in the moonlight
Slowly taking over the horizon
Watching the twinkling onyx reflect the night sky
Almost hypnotized by the melodic whisper
The only evidence of life within the breezeless air
As black meets gray, the warmth of the water glides further
Swallowing the shore inch by inch
Blanketing all as it comes upon its farthest outstretched reach
Bathing in the warmth of black water,
Stippled with the most brilliant twinkling reflections
Wrapped in the heat of the night
Consumed by the darkness, by the stars, by the very heat of the earth
Slowly, deliberately, the water rises
Basking in the beauty of a sea that came to greet all who care to notice
As the ripples and waves wash over the footprints
Erasing the day and birthing it anew
The moon smiles its bright smile
The sand swims by unseen
And the stars shine like the brightest diamonds
in the light of the moon

Foggy days in absentia
Caught in the ripples of a memory
The sparkling bay laps the sand
Soaking in the love
Tanning in the brightness of a smile
Living behind closed eyes
Where the heart is full
And the soul lives with its mate
In that bliss, glowing red
That is where eternity continues
Bliss found in a gaze
Perfection in a kiss
sigh, foggy days in absentia

The sweetness in the air, when you're with me
Has followed me into my daydreams
Shadows now birth memories of our love
Behind sunset eyes, lives love eternal
Led by the truest heart and kindest soul
The Universe, she is both cruel and kind
The grandest of all loves to be cherished
Plagued by time and unfortunate distance
Fills the senses and fuels a beating heart
Nature's bass drum keeping rhythm within
Ah yes, the sweetness in the air, your scent
Follows me, punctuating my silence
Infusing my memories with desire
Filling my desire with the love of dreams

You said my name upon a breeze
It whispered in my ear
With a sigh you told me
What I though I'd never hear
In time the world will come to see
That what is true is real
That nothing ventured, nothing gained
Regardless how we feel
For if there is no bravery
To subvert the status quo
Then, a blissful life remains
A blessing we shall never know

After all this time
There are no worries
It is as it has always been
We are one
And forever does exist

The most soothing warmth of the smoothest skin
The animal is sated deep within
We have both died in love's offering
With Heaven's kiss
Praying time does not begin
Eternal bliss

The birth of spring brings hope
The breeze carries dreams from far off places
The time is drawing nigh
And the blood rushes more quickly
Every second burning more brightly
Than the one which passed before
Mere days is what lies between Hell and imminent Heaven
Days, which will torture with the slowest of time
Inevitably give way to the rush of unity
Which leaves in seeming seconds
Still, these days will linger
Yet, still turn to hours, and minutes, and now
Ah, if only the now would pass as slowly
If time could crawl from the moment our eyes meet again
To the moment we must part
Perhaps we could live in that place for all eternity
Never having to feel the heart burn through flesh
As the distance grows by inches to feet
To that dreaded thousand miles
Oh, how those smiling eyes beckon
And dreams birth hope
The smell of jasmine in the evening
Brings joy in knowing it's just
A few more days......

Innocent words of wonder
Burn the purest of souls to ash
The Goddess of love,
She spews her lyrics in tinkling sighs
Completed by the one whose light burns brightest
He lights the path of others
Consuming their shadows as they pass
A dragon of fire to fight the darkness
And she sings in sweet daffodils
Satin petals and the Heavens open wide
She sings of pain and the dragon feeds
She sings of joy and he watches
As the words are once again absorbed into her essence
The Goddess welcomes this guardian of light
Never knowing that her words
Pilot the fire that eats the shadows that surround him
Bitter pangs of abrasive truth
Wrapped in delightful ditties of eternal enamoration
He fights her darkness
She fuels his fire

A worst-case-scenario mentality
Breeds emotional nightmares of what-ifs
Methodically feeling the pain in each possibility
Preparing for Hell, knowing it is impractical, improbable, and unkind
Each reaction gauged
Smiles erupt in each better choice
A familiar road traveled often
Lead only by a history of pain
It ebbs and flows, bobs and weaves at will
This reality is organized, easy to understand

Random thought of an unlikely, unfathomable future
Vivid like a film
Unwavering, persistent
There is no controlling its outcome
Forced to watch the images forged in a broken mind
Tears burn flesh and a naked heart bleeds
Stop rolling, just...stop
No amount of pleading slows the images
The pain is overwhelming
Far beyond self-inflicted, torturous, methodical thoughts
Uncontrollable, inconsolable
True and real
So very real

There is but one way to stop that future
The one shown in visions of just deserts
The future that smolders through present joy
Preemptive pain is just not an option

I've seen the future my heart has built
The shards of a shattered soul
Offer no comfort

My worst-case-scenario was but a benign freckle on the elbow of a body invaded by metastatic melanoma

Bask in the joy of our hearts
Not in the absence of our bodies
For our souls remain as one

The ethereal screen haunts me
Taunts me with its subtle illumination across a darkened room
It draws words from my fingertips
Just to whisk them away at the accidental brush of movement
The screen, now blank
Unfinished and unsaved
Laughs at me in blinking cursor
Winks at me as I move on
Lost was a masterpiece, or a long and droning soliloquy
Never to be seen
No regrets as the soft light on a gray page still giggles
Lulling me into a sense of numbing safety
Calling my emotions home to the family who never lets me down
Safe in their eyes
As they too are drawn to the subtle light
Across the darkened room

Like being forced under frozen water
Electric burning in the lungs
The heart beats in fire
The body shocks itself alive
As it is dying
Memories flash
In pangs of emotion
The used-to-bes and never-was
A future with burnt edges
The sensation of the last time you touched me
And the death of a part of my soul

With the wisdom of the ancients
You speak in clues
Your depth, beyond comprehension
With a cracked smile
The distance peeks through the stars in your eyes
Souls united cannot be fooled
With weight enough to suffocate, you sigh
As my heart tries in vain
To lift you to the sun
I will hold you tightly
Space, nor distance, nor time
Can make us falter
Can make us doubt
You sigh, and my heart is heavy
I love you
And you smile....

Tonight the gray in your eyes
Is the color of the skies
In my dreams

The clouds and the rain
Match the pain
It isn't as it seems

The miles can't hide
The love we feel inside
My heart is in your hands
It's been too long
Since those gray eyes sang a song
Your wish is my command
I'll be home soon

Your picture on my phone
Isn't close enough to home
For my needs

The distance is too great
Need to find a plane to take
Desperately

The miles can't hide
The love we feel inside
My heart is in your hands
It's been too long
Since those gray eyes sang a song
Your wish is my command
I'll be home soon

The miles can't hide
The love we feel inside
I'll be home soon

I'll be home soon

The pain seeps out in flashes of insanity
I do not doubt you love me
Though I will always wonder why
In my shattered self-image
In my innate ability to be unseen
Was born an adolescent desire
A desperate need
A yen to be quenched of doubt
To be noticed
To be seen
Both within and without
In that longing to be alive
To be sure that I am a tangible being
In that way I push limits
I test boundaries like a child
Taxing the last nerve of an exhausted parent
Pushing hard until something breaks
Proving I matter enough
Or proving I can bend reality
Until I matter not
To anyone
For surely there is a reason I remain
Unseen
Unheard
Invisible
Intangible
Irrelevant
And Unnoticed
So I push when I'm hurt
Because you promised you won't leave
And I believe you
You said I meant everything I always wanted to mean to someone
And I believe you
You said you'd do anything and everything it takes to make me smile
And I believe you
The pain seeps out in flashes of insanity
I test boundaries like a child
Not because I doubt you
Because I need to always believe

Long black hair
That frizzes in the heat
Eyes a chocolate brown
A gaze long since lost its shine
A smile that hides no pain
A sweet tooth
That won't be outgrown
Unlike cotton attire
A heart grows dull
And cries unnoticed
Behind that unseen frown
On a good day
She looks like a woman
Like any other
Like every other
Like no other
Like no one
On her best days
She is a cool breeze on a warm day
Unseen, unrealized
Noticed after she's gone
A scent
A feeling
The absence of
Nothing

As we are joined
We swear an eternity
Sharing our dreams
Our joy
Our pain
Our shame
Our sorrow
And most of all
Our love

For it is in that love,
Born of a shared heart
And a soul that is complete
Only within each other,
That pain is healed,
Shame is vanquished,
And sorrow is nought
But the slightest scar
Dulled by the joy that becomes us...together

As we are now, we shall continue
To be strength in times of need
A shoulder, an ear, a friend without judgment
Honest in all things
We accept each other as we are
Always, in all ways
Encourage each other to be the best we can be
Believe in each other without fail
and to always be the silver lining
Should a cloud seem gray

We will be unceasing champions of our love
Examples of truth, loyalty, and faith
Honored with a chance to try to make every moment happier than the one before

We stand united unconditionally and irrevocably
Bound to love one another
Without doubt
Without question
And without fail
Always and forever
Through each realm of existence
In time everlasting

Fear
Judged by irrationality
Hidden in accidental oversights
Feeding the dragon that leaks molten lava in salty streaks of regret
Fear
Empty wasted emotion
Saving ourselves from ourselves
Saving you from me
Worst case scenarios never included you punishing me at the sight of my weakness
Fear
You only love me beautiful
Love is a profound type of collective psychosis
Looks like strength but hides the truth
The truth that certainty is the truest delusion
Fear
On my best day, in the best possible scenario, I am still invisible
Open and still transparent
Full and still forgotten
Insightful and irrelevant my thoughts pour out unheard
Fear
In my demon's shadows lives the truth of my vulnerability
I am weak because I love you
I am a warrior because you love me
I am strong because I love you
I am a lamb because you love me
Fear
Spilling my unseen secrets
My evil self-talk, my mantra of honest lies
The purr of a kitten unsettles a soul beginning to believe it mattered
Pain dismissed in the peaceful snores of a tired moon
Fear
The sun shines in hope on the remnants of dream
On the nightmare of forgotten, overlooked, inconsequential truth
Empty apologies and the familiarity of beloved anguish
Herald the realization, that words don't matter
Truth or lies, faithless faithful, and a newfound silence
Fear
Invisible save for the ash lines that tell the tale
Of how I begged forgiveness for sharing my tormented and twisted mind
Only to be interrupted by the sounds of your peaceful slumber
Fear**
To be everything to your everything
and realize I am still........nothing at all

My shadows unite
As he remains out of sight
The night he walked home alone

My heart tosses and turns
For his safety I yearn
The night he walked home alone

For reasons unknown
His strength he has shown
The night he walked home alone

He is stronger than I
As I await his reply
The night he walked home alone

I wait for the phone
To signal he's arrived home
The night he walked home alone

In darkness I wait
For gentle hands to grace my skin
For warmth to freeze my fear

In darkness I wait
For dreams to spring forth from nightmares
For demons to be slayed by the keeper of souls

In darkness I wait
For joy to outgrow pain
For life to feel like the love, for which, I am parched

In darkness I wait
For the wishing star to illuminate hope
For the moon to light the way home

In the darkness I wait
In fear of the possibility of never
In fear of the possibility of always

In the darkness I wait
For gentle hands to grace my skin
For the sun to wake me in a dream

In the darkness I wait...


...*For you

In the shadow of dreams
The silent movement of air
Harkens the arrival of the Spirit of Love
Softly, so as to not disturb a slumber
She slinks into every warm space
Filling the endless void with passion
She pulls the spirit out of the person
To frolic in the distant moonlight
They dance in the essence of hearts
Hearts joined by blood
Lives shared through time
She unites them in dreams, in reality, in life
One soul, one heartbeat, one infinity of love

Silence
Squeezes my heart
Leaving tracks
Running down my cheeks

"Wait a second",
But each second after that second
Draws into tomorrows
That spill into yesterday

And now,
It's an hour that feels like a year
In a second past a second
Without you

when his lips touched hers
the rest of the world disappeared
and in the moment she could taste his breath
she believed it was the only air she ever wanted to breathe again.

Across the room I watched as he stroked her hair
The gentlest of fingers brushed her face
From his gray eyes he poured love into her pools of sage
The sweetness touched me as I am sure it touched her
And I watched him, in that moment, be a man
The man I had hoped he'd become
With a full heart I turned away
Proud of who he is, who he has always been
Hoping, that in some small way, I taught him well
As I watched their hearts soar
I walked away letting him love her

The day will come
When the earth stands still
The world will shrink to two
The past will be, never was
And the future will be irrelevant
For in your arms, a galaxy
In your eyes, a universe
And in your heart
Beats only my own

Because if I don't mourn for them, who will?
No one will remember them
Soon thousands, millions of lives-
Poured through the hourglass
To be lost beneath the sands of eternity-
Forgotten forever

And no one even noticed

In the night they searched
For their surroundings to sustain them
For their choices to be enough
For their lives to have meaning

One roamed the nights here
The other roamed its home there
Searching through shadows
Trying in vain
To live up to the task of living

Together only in dreams
Wild and free
Unseen by those who did not matter
Noticed only by those
Whose time leached into the shadows

And in the night they searched
To be fulfilled both within and without
Left hungry wrapped in their thoughtful empty choices
Starved in darkness yearning to be sated
Their bright colors hued gray in the night

Passing, never having been sated
Spirits rose and were united at last
Finding in death what they lost among the living
Never to be seen but in the shadows of yesterday





.

Claimed
Unhidden
A heart laid bare
Words I read in awe
Poets
Unbidden
So want to share
They know who they are
Alone
In darkness
The words were read
A heart leapt off the page
A soul
In starkness
An empty bed
The wisdom of a sage