Please listen to this youtube video as you read it, it was intended for that:
Interstellar | Melancholic Melody, 1 Hour Magical Journey, Sleep Aid, Ambient Music
The I miss you again feeling, but we never met.
I always think to myself, why we never met.
Maybe I met her already…
But I never forget.
I always felt like I have a soulmate, but it isn’t true,
I though life was a journey, blues clue.
I saw her pace away, a sad journey that seems like everything is fading away.
I thought I would never share this, but it seems like today is the day. (pause)
A mass depicture, my mind is a movie that never aired, a motion picture.
I had to write this over again so many times, a re-written scripture.
How come I keep looking for love when it’s all the same
I hate the feeling, it’s all a game.
It feels like I haven’t eaten in years, Hunger games.
I hate that I love people who aren’t great. (pause)
Life is a mystery, I can’t escape.
(fast) I see a whole world in my head that I can’t replace.
A constant fight with your mind, but its hard to believe.
It’s honestly hard to live in reality, when all you see is a dream.
I’m trapped in a wall in me.
I hate how they all can see, (pause)
I wish I could vanish, but would they all believe?
Everyone can find better so can anyone really be good enough?
So selfish it seems, so many people are helpless it seems.
My mind is blank I don’t understand,
If it’s a demon that trapped me, I’ll learn economics to know its demand.
I’m trapped here and I don’t understand.
Sometimes I think to myself, there’s nothing new, I know how this story ends,
Like it’s the same meal that I already chewed.
Like It’s the same song from 2002
I feel like love is something that happens when you surrender yourself to your mind.
We all have a dialog, but I honestly hate mine.
It’s so easy for me to fall in love, I’m scared to say,
because it’s so easy for someone to find better and only meet you halfway.
I’m tired of trying to make it work, shooting my shot but it seems like it’s only gunplay.
I love too easily. But it’s hard to stop, my heart hits the dashboard every time I have to drop them off.
I want to live a life that saves the day,
saves a person from feeling this way.
Idk what I have to offer because I’m scared to say.
I don’t want to be myself, it’s a bit odd in a way.
I feel odd in a way.
I thought that people could love me the same.
A conscious aim, a person that couldn’t destroy me, a small grenade.
A small cascade of every rejection
it starts to fade.
Writing a poem in a different way when you have an aim. (pause)
A First aid-that comes in to save the day.
This was a sad poem, but it doesn’t deserve a downgrade.
I wrote this when I felt love again and had to release,
all of these fake stories of love that were trapped inside me.
You don’t need to understand this poem, I promise.
I love someone I’ve never met and I’m just being honest.
I want to find the love of my life, I’m faithful I promise.
But why would I stay.
when every time I do. It wasn’t the smartest,
Life feels broken, when your faced with the harshness,
a bright future but my mind feels the darkness.
So many people can slip, my minds in a pit,
so many love stories that I just can’t handle it.
I feel bare, dark stare alone in a room like we are meeting the world for the first time.
A small climb to realize, this reality wasn’t mine, a corrosive world, that could only be designed.
I created a love story in my head that wasn’t mine.
A crazy wild surprise when I realized this happens a hundred times.
So insane to realize my imagination is an emotional expression of what I wish to be.
A thousand love letters, that I never mean.
Only to capture something I never need.
A demon invested soul, an endless toll that can catch up to me when I’m old.
Every love story told could be written down, that I can never hold.
I’m a love teller that could never fold.
I couldn’t tell you where this started, there was no replay button to control.
I created love stories in my head that I didn’t mean.
I felt love that was behind the scenes.
Behind the screen was all the actors, because I always dream.
It seems like I’m organized, the same routine.
It feels like a movie, like someone cut to a scene.
Was anything ever platonic?
Are we all living in our fantasies?
If its true,
can anyone even handle me?
It feels like a mantle, steam comes out and mantles me.
My mind doesn’t feel real.
Dismantle my heart and scramble the parts, I don’t wanna lose the whole thing.
A lost cause, a winner with no ring.
A losing battle, with nothing.
Nothing but the future to rethink.
I’m scared to use my mind, a thousand love stories, but I wish I could erase mine.
I’m in love with her and I don’t know why.
Help me for a hundredth time.
I write for the hundredth time; I tell you I love you for the hundredth time.
I tell you I made it up with a couple of rhymes.
I’m just looking for love, but it’s hard to find.
The past keeps creeping, but it passed the line.
I want to connect her words into a poem, a sweet divine.
I’m making this up, can’t you see the tie?
I’m writing to you, but it seems like lies.
I’m scared as ****; I can’t even deny.
Thank you for hearing this poem.
And thank you for your time,
“I wonder if love is a disaster, or something plastered, an art piece that represents disaster, and maybe that’s what everyone’s after.” Thank you.