I went to Hell
for Christmas eve
only to return with
something nice
to gift you for
this special
day.

I’ve waited a long time
to hear “I love you” echo back.
Maybe I should say it again,
or better yet, never again.
Maybe I should trek deeper.
Maybe “I love you” got lost in the woods.
Bouncing off of trees, falling down,
and spraining its ankles.
Maybe it’s afraid.
Maybe it’s lost in the shadows,
finding refuge in a deep, dark cave.
I’ve waited a long time for "I love you"-
perhaps I can spend a few more
in search of it.

It died when I
no longer felt warmth
in your kiss nor
the spark in your words.
So just bury this beast
we call 'love',
anything else would be inhumane.
Anything more and we’ll die too.

Set the past on fire,
but don't forget to
admire every flame.

I didn't think the
Earth had two moons,
but then I found you.
Each night you glow
as if this world wasn't
pretty enough.

When our
shadows die,
do they bleed
light?

December is just
a month-
so why all the
gloom?

Dear Diary;
Does not drinking
half a bottle of gin
make me more or
less fun at parties?
On second thoughts,
don't answer that.

I wish to be a
man of hope again but this
life is just too cruel

11:16 AM
22/12/19

The memory
of you leaves me
yearning,
dreaming,
for your warmth
in this December cold.

All I want
for Christmas
is for my bed not to be
as cold as it has been
this year.

The bad thing about
happy endings is that they're
always at the end

6:18 AM
17/12/19

What could you and I
do with more whiskey and a
little more bruising?

7:07 PM
16/12/19

It took a lot of
courage to tell you that I
am far from okay

5:10 AM
16/12/19

you were someone else
someone who mastered the arts
of how to break hearts

6:57 PM
15/12/19

Your tongue
is an abstract painting,
an artwork born of passion,
each stroke so intricate
yet so abstruse.
Paint with me,
darling.

My heart spilled open
hoping the news wasn't true-
too little, too late.

9:31 PM
14/12/19

Dear me-
I think I can
love again,
not well,
but at least
I am trying.

It always
ends the same-
you found someone,
you turn away and
just like that,
the magic
is gone.

the cold of winter
can ruin a lonely heart-
brace for the cold, love

8:34 PM
7/12/19

There is a
song inside of you.
If only you took the
time to sing.

Let our tongues
be our swords and
our words as arrows.
Let us duel,
blood for blood
and nothing less.

It's hard to let go
of the people and places
that once felt like home

5:45 PM
1/12/19

She said she
was empty.
I still thought she
was everything.

All of her words
were as empty as her
bottle of gin.
All he could do
was love her.

My hand never found
a better place to call home
than when it held yours

8:55 PM
28/11/19

I didn't want to find love-
but then I found you,
and found a love so real.
but then I lost you-
That is why I didn't want
to find love.

Poetry cleanses
my soul of the grime and dirt
of reality

8:44 PM
28/11/19

You don't look at me
like the way I look at you-
no, not anymore

8:38 PM
28/11/19

you knew how
to take my breath away.
To this very day,
I still find it hard
to breathe.

I soar
like a meteor
directly into your heart
but the closer I get,
the more I begin to crumble
and lose myself to you.
Smaller and smaller
until I'm but a pebble
barely making a noise
upon your window.

Every night,
I bury myself in a grave
of blankets and nightmares.
Fortunately, it’s shallow enough
to crawl out of
every morning.

I can’t believe I
trusted you enough
to give you my heart.
I can't believe you
didn't break it.

Hand in hand,
dancing in the snow
where time doesn't matter.
And even though we
remain in the darkest corner
upon the darkest shelf
of this antique shop,
we have found each other-
may this moment last forever.

The distance
and the darkness,
the absence
and the silence,
is too much for me to bear.
I miss you.

my love for you has evolved-
it doesn’t tear me apart
anymore
or leave me lonely,
but it doesn’t make for
great company either.

I find that we poets have
a quiet desperation to write
that keeps us hanging onto life.

Ugly thoughts
and ugly habits
on a Wednesday night.
I’m out of *** and
have an early start tomorrow.
It's just me, my pen and
these thoughts now.  
****...

You're so far away.
Are you even listening
To these words I
write for you?
Oh, so far away,
these messages in a bottle
are surely lost at sea.
Are you even out there?
I'm still lost and
alone and I
need you.

I haven't heard
from you in a while,
and even though you
broke my heart last night
I'm still glad you
took the time
to talk to me
again.

I forgot how
we found each other-
all I know is that since then,
I've been feeling a lot less lost
and a lot less empty.

It's been a while
since the last time
I dreamed of
you and I.

Drunk again
on a Saturday night,
reminiscing about the
memories of a life I thought
I had forgotten
long ago.

Don't be my regret,
be my only memory
and my only love

9:20 PM
16/11/19

All these drinks bring back
memories of all that I
would like to forget

9:59 PM
14/11/19

You know,
I don’t blame you.
And how could I blame you,
when it was me?
I get it, I'm not the easiest
person to be around,
let alone love.  
I admire you for trying-
it must have been exhausting.
But that's okay,
I don't mind being alone-
maybe I'm the only company
that can tolerate me.

All too often can I
count with one hand,
the number of those
who care to ask-
"How are you?"
And much lesser of those
who honestly want to
hear my answer.

I don't know how much
you had to drink but I know
you were completely out of your senses.
I couldn't quite make out the words,
but I guess even then,
it felt good to hear some affection.
Oh, how terse the mind is deceived
so easily by the false mask
of a bottle of ***.

It is so easy to think
that you’re never going
to find someone like him-
until you find someone better.
It is so easy to think things
will never be like before
Until they are.
It is too easy to think
we’ll never get that fairy-tale love-
that happily ever after just like
they have in the movies-
until one one day we find it.
But you’re not at the end
of your story yet-
just remember that the
happily ever after is always
at the end.

We shared
brussels sprouts
and a magic like no other-
a magic that I haven't found since.