stand tall
brace
don’t let them see you ******* cry
it’s weak
just look in the mirror and love it
lie even
just change every ******* thing
pain is a gift you return
everyone is deserving of demise
do not pretend
live as new
anything but the raw affliction can show
put away all your sorrows
nobody gives a ****
now look everyone loves you
stand tall

sometimes i feel like a waste
a waste of space
a waste of time
a waste of breath
a waste of my own mind
a waste of any and all kinds
it feels hopeless to try
to reprogram
if it’s already so hard
to live without letting out further cries

im trying my best to abstain
from the thoughts
that make me want to eat you alive
i used to rely on the hearts of others
nutrients of their blood to fulfill my thirst
the things we do more than satiate me
no longer do i need
to break the ribs of empty promise
in order to breathe

echos of ageless souls ring aloud
they yearn to tell
the meaning of our pairing
something beyond the lust
of my gaze
past the sense of intoxicating vulnerability
why do they allow the wandering serpent to roam babylon
absent of knowledge of what’s to come
can he relinquish all inhibition
to reach the realms of nirvana
or will he implode like the the morningstar

my tender heart aches
at the thought of any slight change

any and everything
within the right constraints
may cause inconceivable discomfort

blank stares and angry confusion haunt me
they live within the uninhabited parts of me
they’ve decided to take shelter within the parts i’ve closed off for good

empty rooms they fill
inching in my mind
the worms grow by feeding on my discomfort

how they wish i was dead
sometimes i make peace and side with them

sins of the past
linger about
i’m sure they’ll evaporate
after we consummate
or maybe they won’t
But i need to know

strolling the candescent street
they don’t make me feel like a creep
my scent has you saturating
with me it’s only me penetrating
that place you really wanted to show me
last week
won’t you just lie in my face
everything i do makes me weak
i find myself fighting
my others
they’re whisperings cloud me with envy
you’re too lovely
some things in this world are god given
they’re given as gifts
but your sorrowing lies pity me

a prophet of new blood lives among us
one who can guide us through the night
the leader who’s equipped
he does not dwell on yesterday

he lives in the present
and traces of him remain in the form of a mark
keep us warm like the body of one you love
protect us from the unholy nature of the dark

the prophet resides inside me
in order to give him strength
he needs to feed on your body

let him drink
allow him to quench his thirst
with his yearning for power
you’ll always come first

searching for a door
to the forest
i can’t seem to find the way
the crickets echoing cry
can be heard in the halls of this sprawl
what will become of me?
is the envisioning of the murky waters
behind the woods going to give way or
will we ever overcome the weight of the greed around us?
will the pits filled with cellophane and bisphenol break hold of gravity
can the earth fall to the bottom of the universe?
will we feel the blow of the astronomical damage that we have done?
can the money you paid to wipe away your sins truly be forgotten of?
when the world begets its metamorphosis
to the hell it’s always meant to become
you won’t see me
your money will be gone
i’ve always been meant to see the inferno
but this is your doing not mine

i begin to arise
looking over into your gaze
so that i can feel you
breathless and shaken
with joy in your eyes
thirst overtaking the impulse
to feel how strong this love is
rubbing your skin
exposes the warm static throughout
im left without air
asphyxiating for pleasure
head rushing
groaning your name
please keep going
you keep our skin vibrating
and purging the toxicity of the world from us
taking in only me
you can feel my pulse
radiate from your sacral place
with you gushing out
like the words it takes to tell you
that i love you
and want to fill the empty spaces within
for a moment
i feel like we’ve become one
our bodies sing
heavenly tones echo within the confines of this home
with archangels watching over
as we fulfill our celestial fate