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Jul 2014 · 7.9k
flies
lost girl Jul 2014
if time were flies
we wouldn't waste our time
on slapping them away
instead
we'd grasp them,
and try to
catch them.
If only time were flies.

(a.d)
Jul 2014 · 2.3k
Desperate
lost girl Jul 2014
I am desperate to find that sense of normality
I grasp for it
as if it is water
and I haven't had a drink for months.

I am desperate to find comfort in my life now
Rather than later
I am tired of waiting and feeling
as if I am an alien
in my own skin.

I am desperate to start living
I am stressed out
and tired of watching life
pass me by
as if I am invisible.

(a.d)
Jul 2014 · 887
Missing Person's Sign
lost girl Jul 2014
Have you seen the missing persons sign?
The one with the pretty girl with wide smile
and sparkling eyes.
The one with a girl who was a honors student
and wouldn't dare disobey her parents.

I think I've seen that girl before
Where?
I last saw her at the bottom of one of the many brandy bottles lined up near the door.
And in the mirror before she took her first fix
But, why?
Because, she couldn't handle the stress anymore, the thoughts of not being good enough and facing the never ending disappointment.

I used to be that girl in the missing persons sign.*
I'm not anymore.*

(a.d)
Jul 2014 · 307
tried to fix you
lost girl Jul 2014
I tried to fix you
I swear I did
there was just too many
broken pieces
and I couldn't grab
them all
before I began to get cut
and pieces of myself
soon joined yours
on the floor.

(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 1.0k
A hug from my mother
lost girl Jun 2014
I just really need a hug
From my mother
A kiss on the head
And a "Everything will be all right."

I just really need a hug
From my mother
A pat on the back
And a hand to wipe my tears away.

I just really need a hug
From my mother
A story from way back when
And a good laugh to make me feel whole

I just really need a hug
from my mother.



(a.d)
I love you mom.
Jun 2014 · 558
Voluntary
lost girl Jun 2014
Your presence here is voluntary
But is it really?
You aren't forced to be here
But leaving is a sign of giving up isn't it?
Leaving is a sign of cowardice
                               of weakness
I don't think I can take it
You wouldn't want to disappoint.
You have to make it.
You've made it to this point.
This is what you wanted
What if it isn't?
I don't even know what I want for lunch
It's an opportunity of a lifetime
Yeah, an opportunity to feel stressed out and overwhelmed.
You should be grateful.*
I am grateful, really.
But I just really want to go home.*


(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 4.2k
Self Control
lost girl Jun 2014
It's coming again
I can barely hold this pen
My hands are shaking so hard
And I can barely think straight.
What's wrong with me?
I don't know anymore.
It could be my anxiety
Or just my lack of self control.
What's wrong with me?
I should be able to keep my thoughts in check.
Cause those worrisome thoughts
Are what has brought me here.

Blame it on my anxiety.
Blame it on my lack of self control.

(a.d)
Any thoughts?
Jun 2014 · 354
Hits me
lost girl Jun 2014
Your words hit me more than I'll ever admit.
Each word pushes me closer to the edge of this pit.
Your words of hate will soon seal my fate.

(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 235
R.I.P
lost girl Jun 2014
R.I.P
        to those times when I cared
        to those times when I used to love
        to run my fingers through your hair.

R.I.P
        'cause I can no longer bare
         to continue to care.

(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 384
Fly
lost girl Jun 2014
Fly
I wish I could fly
Because then I could say bye
To all the things that made me cry

(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 3.7k
lost girl.
lost girl Jun 2014
lost girl
It holds so much truth
But then it doesn't.
I mean
I know where I am.
But do I really know *who
I am?
I guess not.
lost girl
It holds so much truth
But all the same
That's not really my name.

(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 242
Can't take it.
lost girl Jun 2014
Can I make it?
Am I strong enough to take it?
Can I face it?
          It's coming.
          It's coming.
                              I'm shaking.
But let's face it.
I can't take it.
                              I was never that strong to begin with

(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 298
Sometimes I feel like
lost girl Jun 2014
Sometimes I feel like
         I am not good enough
         that I am not worth all the trouble
         or the promises.
Sometimes I feel like
         I am too far gone to be
         saved.


(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 259
End
lost girl Jun 2014
End
It's all coming to an end, I'll miss you my friend.
I close my eyes and count to ten.
I start thinking of that time way back when.
And I begin to cry
Again.

(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 301
Can't
lost girl Jun 2014
I can't stop crying
but then again, I haven't really been trying.
I don't even bother to wonder why
I know it's you who makes me cry.
I just can't stop thinking about the time you said bye.


(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 19.8k
Lost
lost girl Jun 2014
I've been having a hard time lately
I'm sorry about that baby.
I close my eyes
And thoughts of what would have been flows by.
I squeeze my eyes to keep from crying.
I've been doing that a lot lately.
I just haven't been the same since I lost the baby.


(a.d)
Not about me.
Jun 2014 · 249
Too much
lost girl Jun 2014
I hate when
the silence becomes
too much.
When I get thoughts
of what used to be us.
And
When it all becomes too much
and I start to cut myself.


(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 304
missed something
lost girl Jun 2014
I guess I missed something
that was never really there
I am sorry
that I cared.

(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 575
Refuse
lost girl Jun 2014
Refuse to fall
Refuse to miss
Refuse to love
Refuse to kiss

Never been cheated
'Cause I never really cared
I refuse to be apart
of your sick, sick love affair

(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 224
They don't know.
lost girl Jun 2014
They don't know
That I cry myself to sleep
That I am constantly sad
That I feel like I am drowning
That I cut myself
That my smiles are fake
That my laughs are forced  
They don't know.

They don't know anything at all.


(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 281
Is that really so?
lost girl Jun 2014
You say you love the rain
Yet you shield yourself from getting wet.
You say you love the sun
Yet you cover your eyes when it gets too bright.
You say you love the wind
Yet you turn away when it becomes too much.
You say you love the snow
Yet you stay inside when it gets too cold.

You say you love me
Yet I don't think so.

(a.d)
lost girl Jun 2014
"This is our little secret my dear."
The little girl looks up at her mother and smiles adoringly
"I won't tell if you won't."*

(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 552
Scared
lost girl Jun 2014
I'm scared to death
Don't you see?
I'm scared to death
That you might leave me.

(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 545
Tired
lost girl Jun 2014
I'm tired of pretending to be okay
when I am not.
I'm tired of hiding how broken and scared
I feel.
I'm tired of the shakiness
in my hands.
I'm tired of feeling like I am
drowning.
I'm tired of keeping it all
in.

(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 8.2k
Anxiety
lost girl Jun 2014
Anxiety
I can feel it coming
That shakiness in my hands that begins to spread throughout my body.
My heart beat begins to pick up speed. Getting louder & louder, until it's all I can hear.
Anxiety
Worry fills my every thought
And those thoughts consume me.

(a.d)
I suffer from anxiety
Jun 2014 · 2.3k
Hush Little Darling
lost girl Jun 2014
Hush little darling, don't you cry
The more you cry, the more the demons will come by.
Hush little darling, don't say a word
You wouldn't want to be heard.
Hush little darling, don't move an inch
The more you move, the more the demons will make you flinch.
Hush little darling, don't you dare sleep
For once you close your eyes, you're theirs to keep.

(a.d)
I wanted to do this for a while; I like how it came out.
Jun 2014 · 439
hi
lost girl Jun 2014
hi
if I could look back and see
the first moment my life
began to fall to pieces,
it would be to the moment
when
you
first
said
hi

(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 791
Call Me Day
lost girl Jun 2014
Call me Day
            For with each day comes a new sunrise that chases away the darkness.
Call me Day
                  For with each day comes thousands of possibilities.
Call me Day
                     For each day brings new hope. Hope that life can be better.

(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 739
12:07
lost girl Jun 2014
I want someone to make me feel like I am
drunk when I am sober
alive when I am feeling down
And
free when I have restrictions.

(a.d)
I had this idea for a while and just didn't know how to put it together.
Jun 2014 · 197
Untitled
lost girl Jun 2014
I am lost
in the labyrinth of my heart.

I am bound
to the places that we had once found.

(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 214
9:29
lost girl Jun 2014
How long will it be
for you to finally see how twisted I can be?

How long will it be
before you realize I am not all that you thought up to be?

How long will it be
before you realize you would rather be free?

(a.d)
Jun 2014 · 456
2 am. Thoughts
lost girl Jun 2014
Just don't give up on me
I need a second to breathe
I need you to see
Just how ****** up I can be.

Don't give up on me
I'm trying hard, don't you see?
I'm trying hard to be a better me.
I told you, I just need time to breathe.

You're giving up on me
Forgive me please
I couldn't be
All that you wanted me to be.

(a.d)
May 2014 · 198
Without Me
lost girl May 2014
I dreamed that you didn't remember me
And it hurt me to see how easily you could live without me.

(a.d)
May 2014 · 1.3k
Dear Mom
lost girl May 2014
I'm sorry for being a bad daughter
Especially since you were both my mother & my father.

I'm sorry for all the times I snuck out & came home late
Especially since I knew the sight of my empty bed would make you faint.

I'm sorry for all the times I made you cry
Especially since I knew how much you would try.

I'm sorry for saying all those words of hate
Especially since it is now far too late.

I'm sorry I realized late
That you were far too great.

(a.d)
I love you mom
May 2014 · 692
Deal
lost girl May 2014
If I didn't write
I wouldn't be able to keep sane
'Cause, then there would be no way to deal with the pain.

(a.d)
May 2014 · 3.9k
Scared
lost girl May 2014
I was so scared
of someone getting too close.
I was so scared
of someone getting close enough to break me.

I was so scared
of being broken so badly that I could never be fixed.
I was so scared
that I closed myself off.

                                                                    And I ended up breaking myself.

(a.d)
May 2014 · 1.4k
this is a story
lost girl May 2014
this is not a cry for a help

this is a story

the story of a girl who used to smile a lot and laugh at the right times. the story of a bright beautiful girl with pretty soft skin and freckles on her nose. this the story of a girl with vibrant black hair and sparkling blue eyes.

this is the story of a girl who worked hard in school because she wanted to go somewhere. this is the story of a girl who pushed herself to be the greatest she could possibly be. this is the story of a girl who cared and cared and worked and worked...

until one day she stopped.

this is the story of a girl who has had enough. the story of a girl who had been pushed too hard to keep on going. this is the story of a girl with no way out. this is the story of a girl who can't cope anymore.

this is the story of a girl who can no longer smile without crying, and whose laugh is cold and void of emotion. this is the story of a sad girl with bumpy red skin that is covered with scars and cuts. this is the story of a girl with dull black hair and empty eyes.

this is not a cry for help

this is a story

the story of a girl who no longer cared.

(a.d)
May 2014 · 1.2k
What will it be darling?
lost girl May 2014
"It'll make you happy darling. Aren't you tired of being sad all the time? Just one whiff and you'll be on a roller coaster that only goes up."

"It'll make you feel alive darling. Don't you want that? All it takes is just one sip."

"You won't feel a thing darling. Aren't you tired of feeling? Just one slit on each ****** wrist and it'll all be over."

Which will you chose to destroy yourself, darling?

(a.d)
lost girl May 2014
I hear the stories my books tell, all the different stories I hear.
Each one carries a new way of life.

Those of witchcraft and wizardry tells stories of magic, spells, and potions. Carrying the many whispers of witches and wizards, warlocks and giants.

Those of angels and demons tell of epic battles and fallen angels. The cries from the battlefield as heaven and hell clash call out to me.

Those of vampires tell of monsters that only come out at night, with cold touches and bloodlust. Of temptation and desolation.

Those of forbidden love tells stories of love lost and found again. Of happily never after's that carries broken promises. And soon the tears from the heart broken begin to match my own.

Those that tell of innocence lost, yearn to be consoled and heard. So that perhaps they're not alone and that their pain is shared. With the possibility of a silver lining.

I hear my books calling for me, I hear them loud and clear.

Each book yearning to unleash its story, welcoming me with into its world with open arms

(a.d)
Reading is a way of life for me.
May 2014 · 1.2k
not alone.
lost girl May 2014
I quote people everyday.
I live by the words of a stranger.
I hold onto them like a lifeline.

Their words make me feel like I am not alone.
Like perhaps I can make it another day.

(a.d)
May 2014 · 624
✔️Seen
lost girl May 2014
We haven't spoken in a while.
                                                                ­                                 ✔️Seen 2:30 am
I miss you.
What happened to us?
Do you ever think of me, the way I think of you?
                                                            ­                                     ✔️Seen 2:35 am
No you probably don't.
You moved on.
I should too...
                                                          ­                                       ✔️Seen 2:36 am
HOW CAN YOU NOT CARE ANYMORE? Especially after EVERYTHING we've been through.
You heartless *******.
Everything was a game to you, wasn't it?
                                                                ­                                 ✔️Seen 2:40 am
I'm done.
Have a nice life.
                                                                ­                               ✔️Seen 11:30 am
                                                             ­                                                    Wait.
                                                                ­                                         I'm Sorry.
✔️Seen 12:00 pm


(a.d)
May 2014 · 520
Not Entirely
lost girl May 2014
I am not entirely happy
I am not entirely sad

                                                            ­                             I smile sometimes and
                                                             ­                            I laugh at funny things
                                                          ­                               I can crack a joke and
                                                                ­                         Be around people.

But at night when I am alone
Is when the thoughts start coming
When the tears escape my eyes
And when I start to feel the worse about myself.
This is the time when I just want to disappear.



(a.d)
May 2014 · 473
The World Is Just A Book
lost girl May 2014
The world is just a book
And each page is a new day
And each chapter is a new year
And I am just a measley character out of billions of others

I have a life that I am not fully living
And I'm supposed to be happy and I'm not
I play a small, unimportant part in a huge book
And when I get to my last chapter the book will continue on without faltering.

This world is just a book
And with each page comes a new day
And with each chapter comes a new year.
And I am just a character out of billions of others.

(a.d)
May 2014 · 32.2k
Happy
lost girl May 2014
I should be happy.

I woke up alive and well,
I should be happy.

I have new books to read,
I should be happy.

I have 490 songs on my iPod,
I should be happy.

I have good grades in school,
I should be happy.

I have friends who I can talk to and fangirl with,
I should be happy.

I'm young, I have my whole life ahead of me,
I should be happy.

I should be happy,
I'm not happy.

(a.d)
May 2014 · 534
Untitled
lost girl May 2014
"You have such a bright future ahead of you young lady."
Yeah, college then working until you die is just great!

"A young girl like you has nothing to be sad about."
Am I not supposed to feel?

"You're such a beautiful young lady."
Yeah, but the scars on my wrists aren't.

(a.d)
May 2014 · 537
I like how...
lost girl May 2014
I like how I am slowly
                                          fading away
                                                           ­       and you don't even notice.

I like how I desperately
                                             need you
                                                  and you don't even give me a hand.
I like how I need you to
                                           notice me
                                                      and you don't even look my way.
I like how I am
                                          dying inside
                                                         ­             and you don't even care.

(a.d)
May 2014 · 532
Untitled
lost girl May 2014
You can't die from a broken heart
Because He left
and
I'm still breathing.
He left
and
my heart is still beating.

(a.d)
May 2014 · 532
Girls Like Me.
lost girl May 2014
Boys don't like sad girls
Boys don't like girls with cuts on their arms
Boys don't like girls who scream at night
Boys don't like girls with monsters in their head

Boys don't like girls like me.

(a.d)
May 2014 · 1.6k
Silence
lost girl May 2014
Silence
is
Bad

Because
then
I
have
time
to
think
about
how
I
am
not
good
enough

About
how
I
am
unwanted

In
the
silence
is
when
my
thoughts
are
loudest
when
my
monsters
decide
to
come
out

And
with
silence
comes
violence

(a.d)

— The End —