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Hey, I'd stay up all night with you
If you were on the other side
Of this giant beach ball called Earth
'Cause of intimacy I'm terrified.
It comes from nowhere
It's the faint, burning prickle
Springs behind your eyes
Bidding you stop and wonder
Why your breath caught in your throat.
Tired of waiting
Tired of looking
I'm movin' on
I'm gettin' gone

Sick of distressing
Sick of distrusting
I'm giving in
I'm gonna win

Fed up with mourning
Fed up with not learning
I'm making mistakes
I'm making escapes

Done with running
Done with coming
I'm opening up
I'm growing up

Here I stand and here I'll stay
Now it's time to see Your glory
You've got the pen, Lord
It's time to write my story.
Tired-hungry days
Get me down like nothing else
Except for those ones,
Missing-the-past days, and you
The days when I just miss you.
I'm tired...
I'm sleepy...
And the way I cannot think is getting creepy.
I'm worn out...
Exhausted...
But if I take a nap now, I'll get busted.
Yeah. Can't think here.
I am old, so much older now
And you think you can hurt me?
I am wise, so much wiser now
And I used to have so much mercy.
Toting around his portable sounds
A big 'ole bus with Diverse City
Tonight he's got his eye on it
With his rap rhyming witty.
Would that it would end
And leave me in silence here,
Tranquil and alone.
My brother Noah
Won't get off my computer
I'm tolerating.
I just don't know if
I never want to see you
Ever again, or
If I want to mend the wound
By opening it again.
Tomorrow I have decided
I will explain all the poems I write;
For each and every haiku,
I'll give you a little insight.

If I write about fire, I'll tell you
I feel happy or angry or inspired
And if they're about my bedroom,
Then I'm probably really tired.

I don't think this needs explanation
It's not very creative, I know...
But the next time I hit you with syllables,
I'll explain every joy and woe.
But...I'll wait until tomorrow. ;D
All those books they made us read,
The smelly yellow-pagers
That weighed as heavy as the guilt
We felt as "zombie teenagers";

Do we remember anything?
The names of the main characters,
Or maybe, who died in the end--
Or the ones who were in pictures?

It wasn't that we hated books--
We didn't understand them;
Before the teacher's spiritless voice
Made us slowly condemn them.

"Memorize the vocab words,
And don't forget the spelling!"
Was that the point of literature?
But definitions aren't compelling.

So all those hours in English Lit,
The days spent reading Steinbeck,
Were soured by the grouchy face
Always looming over my desk.

I always wished someone would say,
"This isn't boring, here's why:"
But I was told to shut up and read
When sometimes I wanted to cry:

"I hate this story! Nobody's happy!
And everyone's messed up!
It doesn't make sense to force it on us
When we're already stressed out."

But we had to read it, because they had to read it
When they were young in school.
This book had an impact in history:
So now, reading it is a rule.

So if it's a must, that's fine, then.
But...why don't we make it fun?
Or talk about the psychology
And learn something when we're done?

A book can't be everyone's favorite.
We're all different people inside.
But please try to make us all interested
With wisdom only you can provide.
Steinbeck, Dickens, Orwell, Bronte, Fitzgerald, all those depressing writers that we were forced to read. I only liked Edgar Allen Poe, and that's saying something!
Hey
Let's
Have
A
Party

I'll
Invite
You
And
Me.
She's too perfect.
She's just perfect.
Like...her face wasn't tanned,
it was painted.  
....I feel like somebody just
counted out each of her hairs one by one
and put them in place, like
'one, two, three...
two hundred twenty-one....
three million, five thousand and twenty-one..."
Nothing will be the same
If he changes your name;
And we will be torn apart
If he does steal your heart.
April 15, 2016 ~ one poem a day challenge
So the sky is the limit--
I don’t care;
I’ll build me a rocket
To get up there.

Don’t tell me the odds,
I know there’s no air;
I’ll find my own oxygen,
I’ll take every dare.

Don’t get onto me,
Come on, be fair;
But if you need a lift,
I’ll take you there.
Again, I am found
In that familiar place
Where I hope for much
Expect little, and am shocked
When I am neither to you.
I lie to you, but it frightens me that you know.
Suitcases get tagged, prepare for jetlag
  As you mount the stairs to the plane
Four layovers on your way over
  You hope it doesn't drive you insane

Announcements vague as your house slips away
  Leaving for another country
You flew the globe and moved your home
  Five times before you were twenty

Now the transit stays just can't faze
  Your ******* travel attitude
You never feel sick with the seats you pick
  And adjust well to the altitude

But something inside nags and asks why
  You're always in constant motion
You wonder how it would feel now
  If you'd never crossed that ocean

You forget the feeling and just quit dealing
  With memories left behind
But the thoughts come back, you've got some packed
  In the luggage of your mind
Inside my chest lies an anomaly,
An anatomical wonder;
Inside me lives my triangle heart,
Ever torn asunder.

No rounded edges has my soul,
'Cause chafers gon' chafe;
It beats irregular the time,
Like constant battle strafe.

Often dead my heart's become,
Silent as the grave;
Resuscitated by the shock,
Its walls have nearly caved.

No weather wears the pointy ends,
And no waves caress the stone;
My heart lies cold and rough within,
Pleased to be alone.

No harm has knocked upon its doors,
Nor has its core been touched;
Indeed, my heart has felt no warmth
Since you replaced its flesh.
Tricksy, you are—false—
We hates it, yes we hates it,
Hates it forever!
Your love is algebra
I can't find the formula
If I could find the right calculator,
I could define your euphoria.

Your love is geometry
I can't find the angles
If I could prove your theories,
It wouldn't be a shambles.

Your love is trigonometry
I can't figure it out
If I spent an entire notebook, perhaps
I'd still have doubts.

Your love is a mystery
Just as the greatest math
Although worth much,
Seems irrelevant to my path.
You’re dizzy, lightheaded
Did you wonder where it was from?
Your eyes still sting, they’re blurry
Did you think you couldn’t close them?

Not sure if tears or screaming
Caused this pain so true
You’re breathing fast and falling past
Just hoping something catches you

You’re tempted and tried to just let go
It’s pulling at your grip
Not sure if the broken glass is a sign
That if you walk you’ll trip

Oh, but don’t you know
Don’t you remember?
There’s someone out there waiting
He’s been keeping you together.
“Life’s a trip, watch your step” ~Goin' Down
Take my blood, take my sweat, take my tears,
I will still be pushing through these fears.
not giving up.
If dreams still came true
Or maybe they do
Or they won't
Or can't

But if they came true
For me, for you

What kind of people
would we be?
Blessed, rich,
happy?

Would we
count the
days we
had
Or would we
number
times we'd
had?

Would we learn life lessons
Or would we think
That we could build a Titanic
Built not to sink?

Who would I be
Tell me
Who
If all my dreams
All
came true?
There was a story
I wanted to hide
But escaped no matter
How hard I tried.

I had a scar
I wanted to fade
But it stuck out ugly
And always disobeyed.

There was a memory
I wanted to forget
But the truth was clear then
And I always thought of it.

There was a future
I wanted to be real
But hopeless days before me
Were all that I could feel.

I came across a Healer
He ripped me open wide
And touched all of my hurting parts
And made me new inside.

Now I know a Savior
Who knows you like his own
He can change you just like me
And melt your heart of stone.
2 Corinthians 5:17
"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!"
Everything you said
Was really true, I have found;
Truth like what you told
Doesn't set me free, sadly
I feel bound to change myself.
Try
Try
What keeps you from your life
is that you don't know what it is:
You have no words for its delights,
its triumphs,
nor its disappointments,
and the occasional death you live through.
Your words, the language you speak,
have not the vocabulary you seek;
Your life, the days that you live,
Pass you by, too fast to forgive.
Life is too complicated to put
into the frail words we call English.

But that's never stopped anyone from trying.
This is turning into a nightmare
It was never like this before
I'm afraid that if I'm conscious too much
They'll come break down my door.

This is turning into a nightmare
It was always better than this
Borrowed, fake, sweet to the touch
Nothing is going as I wish.

This is turning into a nightmare
It was hardly better than now
Explain how I can find my love
Because it wasn't in lost and found.

This is turning into a nightmare
It can't be any better for you
Why do you care, they all just shove
And I end up falling through.

This is turning into a nightmare
It was worse yesterday, though
Maybe because I'm looking above
And I see a spark of Hope.

This was always a nightmare
But now it's turning to day
Perhaps I'm finding He is enough
And I've finally found my way.
If you want my thoughts
In a non-poetic form
Follow my twitter.
http://twitter.com/knightvowel
Twelve hours of sleep 
Feels exquisitely lovely 
When I can get it.
My fingers hurt from writing,
My pencil is wearing on me;
I'm tired of constantly scribbling—
I wish I could type everything.
You lost my poem.
You crashed and left a blank page.
I can't believe you.
Life is hard, and plus
Haikus are just hard for me
Haikus are life. Wait
The heart that beats within me now
Was silent for a while:
Shouldering the guilt of years
And clothed in my denial.

And when, those blurry months ago,
It stirred to life again,
I tried to still my beating heart
The way it was back then.

I should have known, I should have seen
Through my soul's sad disguise;
But ev'ry time I saw the truth
I quickly closed my eyes.

The heartbeat in my shackled chest
Was loud, but I was louder.
Sticking fingers in my ears,
I hummed to quell the doubter.

"Your heart's alive! It beats again!
The fears you loved have faded."
But I felt safe behind the bars
My jailed heart had created.

So, silently, this gentle Trust
That I had never known
Came whisp'ring through to save my heart
Of flesh, and not of stone.

Trust wrapped its arms around me
And lifted up my soul
From depths of blue obscurity
And I gave up control.

I opened up my eyes that day
And though they shone with tears,
The hurting heart inside of me
Felt stronger than those fears.
1-2 Sept 9, 2016 and 3-8 Feb 4, 2017
It just makes me sick
Inside where no words will come
And nothing makes sense.
I can't understand
Why people don't like the things
That God made special.
Every time I roll over
"Nothing to undo" it says
But everything is messed up
I just don't know, these days.
Writing poems in bed on my iPod.
I'm excited now
An unspoiled weekend, mine,
Tomorrow begins.
Let's keep it that way.
How many people
Are on Hello Poetry
Anyway? Goodness.
˙uʍop ǝp!sdn s!
ǝslǝ ʎpoqoN
ʍou pǝpuǝdsns
ɯ,I 'ƃu!ƃuɐH

uʍoɹɟ pǝʇs!ʍʇ ɐ oʇ
uɹnʇ ǝl!ɯS
uʍop ƃu!llɐɟ
uo ʇǝs sɐʍ I

punoɹɐ oƃ puɐ
oƃ ʇ! ʇǝl o┴
uʍop uɐǝl oʇ
p!ɐɹɟɐ sɐʍ I


Upside Down


I was afraid
to lean down
To let it go
and go around

I was set on
falling down
Smile turn
to a twisted frown

Hanging, I'm
suspended now
Nobody else
is upside down.
Up
Up
If I stay up
                     one
                            more
                            ­          minute
I will have
                     one
                            less
                            ­        minute
of sleep.
First one awake, now how do you feel
For falling asleep so late?
You should have known,
                     when you're on your own
Up first is a permanent state.
Am I selling my soul to the corporate world
in a vain pursuit of future financial stability?
Should I have bought my future with what little I had
and spent it growing my skills in music and writing
so that I could know they were not wasted?
Should I give up on this new work-from-home desk job
where I'm paid commission and weekly bonuses
and won't see the residual income from renewals for thirteen months?
Can't I have something stable that doesn't bore me to death,
and something exciting that doesn't turn my anxiety to an 11?
I've never had a balance--every job has been one or the other.
And yet, as I yearn for a career in music, I recall my past
where I majored in songwriting and couldn't handle college
and I sigh and realize that jumping to a music job wouldn't "fix" me.
No matter what I'm doing, I will need to have perseverance,
and patience, yes, but also motivation and drive to improve myself.
These struggles that I face now at this job are the same ones
that I've always struggled with--they're part of me still.
And I've always blamed the job for not being a good fit--
and some of them weren't, true--but that wasn't the root of it.

A job that is worth doing
will take effort and drive
and no worthy income
comes by barely getting by
and doing the bare minimum
in order to escape a scolding.
I need to change my mindset
in order to grow above this--
this swamp of complacency,
this mire of despondent weakness,
this misty swath of ambiguous feelings
that have dictated my actions
for far too long. No.
I'll sit and get to work
knowing that I am securing a future
for myself, my husband, and family
and that one day, I will have time
to create art in any way I want
but right now, I have a lesson to learn
about working hard
and rising to the challenge.
Don't let me forget.
I can't look back now.
Up I go, to new heights
where the fearful me
thought the risks were too great.
Up I go, to climb my mountain
and win this battle, and the next,
until I'm out of the doldrums
and onto the path that advances before me.

Here goes.
So tired, I think
I may have forgotten that
My name is Ashley.
Van Gogh was outcast
I don't care if I'm unknown
I still love myself.
I used to daydream
That you had a TARDIS, and
You could really come.
I may be a small voice,
or a thin voice,
or a soft one
But I will be a loud voice
And a great voice
When the time comes.
If you waited long,
And your waiting was in vain
Will you wait again?
Giving every chance away,

Thinking he could hold out—

no.
Out the window there,
Beneath the glassy, blue sky,
The white sun bleaches
Everything beneath its rays.
I wither inside.
I die if I venture out.
And yet, my heart yearns,
My soul burns, to see the world.
Mountains, rivers, seas;
Indeed, just to see a tree
I would leave it all.
I would risk the burning sun,
Drop it all and run,
If forests were there for me.
I would endure it,
Knowing that cool springs waited.
My heart climbs mountains
As I answer phone calls here;
My mind explores caves
As I file cash receipts.
I watch mountain lakes
Turn gold with the dying sun
As I read emails.
But some day, I will reach out
And instead of desk,
I will grab my mountain gear;
Some day, my fingers
Will callous and toughen up:
Instead of keyboard,
I'll skip rocks across a creek.
I will do it all,
See all I've wanted to see,
And feel the cool breeze
After climbing the mountains
And fording rivers.
I'll get out of this desk chair
And go explore what's out there.
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