I made two sausages. One for my protein and one to support my protein.

A made many mini pancakes, cocooned under the syrup of a great maple, may they nourish my soul with their many mini circular sides.

I made two eggs, one to satisfy my stomach and another to satisfy my soul.

I have coconut yogurt. I never liked coconut, but I do like to nourish my garden.

And I made a cup of coffee. The cup was filled halfway, but it's a full cup for me, because i have my coffee and I have my cream.

And now, once I'm finished with my breakfast and coffee...I'll be living.

I stand in front of God's judge scale
I know what will be judged to me
A crushing blow, a weakened soul
What's left of my shattered esteem
Nothings ever what It may seem
Trying to mock the flowing stream
Maybe it's all just a nightmare
There's no way this could be a dream

I see the lost in all the eyes
When I look up there's a gray sky
People pretend this pain's a lie
Ignore the hurt when facts are tried

Go find a mate, that may change fate
Don't be alone for your own sake
Go mingle in and try to shake
It's one thing that shouldn't wait

It's not a myth to go insane
When you are stuck with just your brain
A mate can be family or friend
This is something rarely obtained

I've been judged to have a blessed life
But I will see loved ones cry out
I won't be able to change them
Even if I fight or I shout
It will come like a nightmare
Cause there will be a fallen heart
But it's a dream cause in this stream
That pain will fade as I depart.

I am not air.
Don't neglect me, but also acknowledge my presence.
Don't take me for granted, and use me as a way to avoid others.
I am not water.
I am not here to shower you with energy.
I am not here to be polluted with your bs.
I am not dirt nor rock.
Don't assume i'm easy to kick around.
I have my bugs, but that doesn't mean i'm unappealing.
You will not walk over me, damage and destroy me for your own interests.
I am not fire.
Although, I may have a temper, don't assume I'll burn you.
I can be warm, but don't take my warmth for granted.
I am not your element.
But I am your friend.

If you learn to love me as who I am, our bond may never end.

In the end, someone has to lose.
Whether it be real or more so symbolic.
For those whom may not be heard, your losses will bring about another's voice.
For those who may not be seen, your losses will bring sight to another.
Sometimes you win the most when you lose humbly.
Truthfully, as bitter as old dark cold coffee, you may one day suffer.
Your only chance out will be taken by someone who's had many doors, yet they only use them as trophies.
They may not use a single one for their purpose, and you'll have to let that simmer into your mind.
Just remember, that person may have what you need but is probably dying inside.

Lose humbly.

Have you ever heard the saying, If you play with fire, you're bound to get burned?

Well, to me, I think it's just as bad as touching the hot water. The difference is that, if you do not have control over the water, you can't really tell the difference of whether it's cold or hot until you touch it.

Now don't get me wrong, you could probably feel that tiny whiff of heat or cool air, but it's not as easy as looking at a fire and thinking it'll be hot.

So, why am I telling you this...

Well, water is the same color, whether hot or cold.

Cold water does not hurt you as quickly as hot water, yet it still hurts.

People are like hot water.

Life is like cold water.

And you...your soul...conscious, if you don't believe in those, that's lukewarm.

Cold water can feel really good when thirsty,
And hot water feels good when bathing,

But lukewarm water...it's simply lukewarm.

Not bad, but not good.

Like absurdity...
A constant w, wondering what the who and how the why,
It's like a constant state of the rip between a false eyelash and an eye,
I lie upon a thin surface between reality and psychology,
Is my mind playing a trick on me, or is it just me...just me...all alone,
Gone but here, see this is more than fear, this is pure terror,
No hell could be fairer for the one that induced it on their own,
A cone of darkness and light, I ponder what's right,
Was it a vision all along? Pronged up to put together pieces,
A mind game that maybe ceases once i figure it out...but,
what if it's not a game...and all this time It was a sentence,
Commencement of war upon myself, what if it's the same fire,
Dire in my mind like the wine of wrath that crashes upon my line,
A full on catastrophe...i don't really know me, a fear i've always pondered,
Which places me back at the top-

Sometimes I peek into Etheria,
Because I ponder where my soul lives,
Casually gliding in the ethereal area,
Trembling cascading chaotic abyss,
Casual sensations indulging in the journey sought.

It's overwhelming, what the power of thought can do;
Place you in realities broad and new,
A contented choke up on surprises, unexpected,
Setting a foundation for limitation is rejected.

What I found in the realm of wonder, Etheria,
From the glimpse, the journey, into an endless inside,
A song, sung so deeply and profoundly,
That only when I touched my face from hysteria,
Had I discovered my very soul, and from that, I cried.

If I'm deep but raw, i'm not heard at all.
If i'm shallow and disguised, i'm neither loved or despised.
If I'm like everyone else, I don't feel better when I'm my self.
Because I live in a world that rejects me.
I feel like a robot, stuck behind a glass screen.

Lately, they've been stormy; trapped in a field of electricity, I'm scared. And as I ponder the world once the clouds aren't so heavy, the world with clarity; I find myself wondering...




do they care?
i am aware  ¿


Shaken by the voices in my clouds;

                                       you will never be enough
                                       You are unworthy of love
                                                       Give up
                                    They will prove us right again
                                  They will break your pitiful heart

                                                         ­           I'm covered in this darkness.

Swallowed alive by the destruction in my ever-living mind
Why, why must I strive for the basic right to breathe...
to live
to laugh
to love...

When I look above I follow below, who knows this answer.

I'm stressed, floating, choking, hanging by my thoughts
Stuck in the clouds.
                                  .
                     ­             .
                                  .
              ­                    .
                                  .
       ­                           .
                                  .
­                                  .

Finding the path in which my purpose lies...i try. With a wish upon a star for 21 summers and 21 winters, I may only plea that it come true.


Because...I'm scared
That if It doesn't
I'll forever...be stuck in the clouds
Floating
F
A
R




a w a y~

Hey over there, with the wild unruly hair.
Do you ever wonder why this world is so very unfair?
Is it's clearness so foggy and it's foundation soggy?
Does your hope make you groggy when the ground feels so boggy?

Listen here, my sweet and fragile dear.
Even a bird of hollow bones can sense that aura of fear.
But it is okay, for this is why you are so sane.
A world that was fair would just ruin this game.

Have you ever felt good, when you conquered a challenge?
When everyone else seemed to have found their allonge?
Yet you had to go further to leap over the hurdle.
And when you leaped out they all soon turned into turtles.

It's a game my dear, but a game of what's there.
When did the game master ever say that this game was fair?
Now put on your shoes, and make this your campaign.
And you will never ever look at the game the same.

The first time in a long time, you've finally been able to rest.
No, not a rest your eyes for a few minutes type of rest.
The real deal.
You're on a break from your job.
From school.
Life has started again.

You can talk to your friends.
Really plan a date this time...
You've been talking to a guy/gal.
You can't tell if you're starting to fall for them.

You've never done this before, but you've wanted it so bad.
You don't get complimented often.
You've never been flirted with by someone you've been attracted to.
It's not like you're only into models or pseudo-**** guys/gals.
Your type of "average" is cute, so your bar isn't that high.

You get a text message from your phone.
You grab it and read what it says.
Your eyes widen!
You clutch your chest!


...Your heart stops.
It drops...




Far
   far
       far
         ...down...


                                         "I've found someone!"

Follow the pathway until there’s an end.

The more you move forward, the chances you’ll win.

And if you die, that’s okay, respawn again.

There’s more to this journey than worlds to defend.

Go bouncing to music until there’s a theme.

Grin, frozen in time, as if this was a dream.

Oh, someone needs help, though it’s not what it seems.

Complete the percentage to add to winning.

As time will swim by, you may fall off track.

You better gain points, so you can come back.

Be wise when you fall, for you are intact,

You may not come back again, you are not a cat.

As you gain experience, keep this in mind,

You must not journey as if you have been blind.

Cause, there will be bosses and many are strong.

Isn’t obvious, base it on the song.

Clingy.


Clinging onto the little things you once said
                                                            ­           I'll
                                                            ­         never
                                                           ­          leave
                                                           ­           you
                                                  ­                       .

But had you been more honest, we wouldn't be here...

Erasing memories to make up for sanity.
The things you said to me, why...?

No necessary reason to hold onto a false rope, made out of lies and false hope...

Am I being clingy?
For wanting to know why I feel like you've died?

Am I being stingy, for holding my tears so I wouldn't cry?
Why was it so easy...to tell me a story but not the end?
Why did I ever comment back, risking my heart by pushing send?

I can't say i've fallen, but I do need a helping hand...
Cause here I am feeling this way...
And now i'm sinking in quicksand.

Never asked to be popular
But he does want to be heard
Cause he won't like being attended to
Only when he's no longer able to even produce a word

Full of false fortunes
In a world of many lives
Crafted by selfish innuendos
Pretending that in this we thrive

Busted broken fallen towers
Crashing collapses decorating his broken shell
Shame the story of the advocate
Always ends with his casket and not a single tear that fell

But the thriving will say that they did their best
Even though they only felt him detestable
Claim it how you will, they've shunned him
And now this silence has become reciprocal.

It's okay

Some will say

It'll be alright

No delay

No decay

A fresh home insight

We can see

A blue sea

Welcome peace in me

Come in two

Merge in three

May the rainbow sing

Clipped by the cage you're confined in,
Dark and compliant, a conflicted life of air,
All faces remembered, those who are in debt to the raven's snare,
Inspired by shadows that lurk in the sun, the ones with many sins,
You have a story to tell, but one mustn't dwell,
You will sing your family's name, let it echo like a bell,

Caged raven...what is it you think?

Can there be anything better than this?

When the grass now can dance, and the flowers can swing
When the sun smiles wide, and the birds start to sing
As the clouds, all fade out, as waters soon do shine
For the butterflies fly, and the humans are kind

Must I ask it again, what is better than this?

May no rain come down unless plants start to wither
Or animals cry because they see the winter
Please, know that the heat can only do so much
So then nothing is better, there's nothing of such

When lights of the cities make way for the stars
As the night meets the calming, silence mutes the cars
So we dance in the night or we sleep till the day
For there's nothing to fear on this good holiday
I simply hope that you know that-that is okay

And that you too have a wonderful, fun, holiday.

This looks like a dream I once had...

Too peaceful to be a nightmare.

Too somber to be a daydream.

I don't like this feeling.
It's deja vu,
I've become sad.

At a distance is a silence,
A drop in the soul,
It's something truly bad.

In a land called Gold Dust, there were three men who visited a tree surrounded by sand the color of gold. The tree was as old as the land, and shimmered in the light because of some of the sand that would catch upon it.

One of the men came from a very hard life of poverty. He had nearly nothing to lose and everything to gain. He lived in this poverty since he was born, and will never see complete convenience that this world has to offer.

"I need a sip of water", this man said one day, in the shade of the tree as he dozed to sleep.

When he woke up he saw a half a coconut on the ground in front of him. The coconut was full of water, about enough to fill one cup.

Delighted, he took a sip, and then brought it to others who were thirsty, where he has been living.

Later that day, another man came to the tree, and upon the shade, the man spoke as he dozed off.

"I need water to cook today".

When he woke up, there was a jar of water in front of him. The jar was filled to the brim.

Delighted, he took hold of it, and brought it to his home, he made a large *** of food with the water and celebrated with anyone willing.

Once more, that night, a man came to the tree. The man observed the tree and it's beauty in the moonlight. He decides to lay next to the tree, and sobs.

"I don't have any water and it is hot and dry everywhere. This tree must be so satisfied to have water. I want the water that will satisfy my suffering".

The man drifted to sleep as he wept. When he woke up, there was a coconut in front of him full of water. The man became upset and decided not to take hold of it. He left the tree to search for water, but came back to find nothing but the tree in the golden sand, later that night.

"I had enough water to fill a cup, but what about water to cook something to eat? I want the water that will satisfy my suffering."

Once again he fell asleep, but when he woke up, there was a jar of water filled to the top in front of him. The man became upset and decided not to take hold of it. He left the tree and searched for water, but when he came back, the jar was also gone, and left in it's place was the tree and the sand, later that night.

"I had enough water to fill a cup, and a *** to cook food to eat, but what about enough water to find food to eat? I want the water that will satisfy my suffering".

When the man woke up, in front of him was an ocean of water, fishes, and a nice breeze that came from the water. The man became upset, because although he finally got what he wanted, there were people fishing In the ocean, and all by the water.

"Woe is me, everyone who asked for water, got what they wanted, but why not me. Why are all these people touching my water."

In the sky, a voice could be heard.
"I gave you what you asked for, are you not satisfied, because I gave these people the same?"

The man fell to the ground, but did not lose his sorrow.

"They may have water"

Out the mans mouth were words that could not be found in his heart.

The man, came to the tree and spoke again, in the middle of the night.

"I would like a wall to hide the water behind it. I would like a ladder attached to the wall, but only I can climb it. They will have to find another way to get the water."

In the morning, there was a large wall of sand that covered the sight of the water from the people of the land. The only person who could see the glass ladder to climb the wall was the man. Using leaves and mud to climb the ladder, he found the sight of the water, but when he got to the other side, it was filled with water.

"I cannot swim, this is too much water for only me, someone help me, out of my water"

But when people heard his cries, they realized there was no way to get up to him, as the ladder could not be seen by anyone else.

The man cried and begged to be let out, but no one could help...
The water washed the man away, and in the belly of the water was the man, in the belly of a family of fishes.

Eventually, the sand wall was cracked by the pressure of the water, and water came down and into the land. The people were prepared for the water to overflow, so they prepared ditches for the water to stream through.

When the water streamed through the ditches the water never stopped, and the people never ran out of water again.

The End.

To sing to a void of silence, eating away at the sound I make,
Hoping something reacts and makes a sound.
I realized the pattern before me.
A sea of silence
A space of eyes
Alone, in this place
Singing my heart aloud...

But then i begin to wonder;


why?
When it's only me in the end.
Am I crazy to continue to share my emotions with the eyes
Although they don't provide me the company I desire

Am I singing to feel sane
Or is it because I'm starting to feel tired
Cold, descending into the abyss of depravity

I'm not really okay
I just want to be held
But once again

It's only me...singing alone
In a deep silence of eyes

Forever trapped in a pattern that won't decay

Sometimes I can't help but smile when you come by.

Nonchalantly moving throughout your routine riddled day.

I ponder if I exist in your world; if I'm an important part of your story...
or just another piece in your background.

Who am i to you?

Who will I be, mystery man...?


                                            Often times I glance over, wondering if you'll ever desire to converse with me.

                                           Sometimes I lose myself in the forbidden realm of fantasy.

                                                  I don't want to wander into misfortune.

                                                    ­                        I don't want to like you...
but with every glance over, i find it harder to look away.

                                                       There are little longing lost thoughts  where i know my fear is wiser.

                                               I'll never be able to tell you these things... and you'll never know how compelling you are to me; a stranger in your world;

                                     Inviting you into mine.

It's times like now when I can see nothing

I look in the mirror, something truly haunting

Like extras in movies, a movie called Life

I sometimes think Death will come holding a Scythe

Lost in my world, a world of confusion

Can't tell a depression from manic intrusion

I'm stuck in a limbo, a grave of cracked glass

A sad silent tomb, hide my somber past

A life without dogs is a second one gone

The first was to find my shoulder to lean on

Though young I may be my soul lenses are old

If someone afar could relate I'd be sold

Now fading away like a ghost in the light

Hope for your sake that you sleep well tonight

Annoited within the bleeding
Left falling in broken endings
A story built on our showers
A horror built up like towers

Humanity is resetting
Repeating all of our actions
Resulting in stories setting
A looping theme of the masses

A tragedy's in progression
No peace sent into the pending
Will, we ever have a session
That'll end without us pleading

Absence in understanding
We'd not know what's up ahead
As we wander the forest thinking
We've won when we've lost instead.

They're scared
You know who
It's the monsters
This is true

Watch them suffer
Smile more
They deserve it
Watch blood pour

Don't be scared
It's their fault
There was peace
We were taught

It is gone
Yes it is
They took it
They are wrong

So they burn
Like they should
No one lives
There's no good