It was the thought i had that set me on fire that day.
It was only three years ago when I realized I was stuck in a limbo,
constantly living the same results time and time again.
A bird would sit beside me
No, a cat
And would peer into my soul with the wicked eyes of blue.
"I see what you're thinking"
It would seem to say, and I would cower in my mind
descending into darkness,
time becoming absent
chaos becoming the realm i reside in
channeling every demon and every sin i ever committed
I would drone
balled up fury begging to go back home
and in that darkness came clarity
this is not what's meant to be
It became my mantra
singing the sour revival of my brittle broken soul
back into reality
and with that came the question
If this were where I were to end,
i would be stopping a great story from finishing
And i came back to life.
Just like that
A rollercoaster never-ending
Like a merry-go-round
I see it coming
It sees me leaving
Forever being chased around until the endless darkness swallows me whole
and that...that scares me
Israel foreshadowed in Egypt
Untouched by the Plaques
Passed over by the Destroyer
Egypt broken and bowed
With strangers, Israel walked free
Handsomely ransomed, a nation is born
So shall Israel again be in the Tribulation
As light for sight and salt to taste
And again with strangers
In haste and with bitterness
Come out of the World
Raptured as the First born of God
I remember saying "You're going to have to be careful" and her head would tilt just enough for me to see the confused scrunch in her eyebrows. A grin formed half consciously on my face, "you're going to have to be careful, most people can't do this without falling for me."
The confused scrunch in her eyebrows burnt into a faint flicker of annoyance and fell down her face into her eyes but she managed to answer with a laugh in her voice as she pulled back the sheets and stepped into the hallway, "Whatever you say. We'll see".
Looking back I'm not sure if I was warning her or myself, but I do know that wouldn't be the last time my insecure arrogance would cause me to watch her walk away
sounds pouring out the walls
bouncing from ceiling to floor and back again
waiting for a call from a certain friend
never thought today would be the end
of this whole ordeal
although i don't think it is
i tried to steal
but she never missed
never cried over myself
always there for me
never needed my help
and the sounds worked their way back to my ears
pounding, drumming, not quite clear
and i accepted what had become of this day
and anticipated the next
with no delay
A little less
Than a year ago
I picture you:
Your leg wrapped
Around my torso
And propped up
By my hand;
I have a purse,
a drink, and you
adorning my body
Hanging onto me
I am small
You are smaller
On your lips
We both wear crowns
I have known
For so long
Our little lives
I am proud
It is New Years
You haven’t drank
Will be a good one
To tell me so
Nothing is the same
Had never before
Its cliché promises
But as of tomorrow
We have our chalkboard
Of rainbow colored erase marks
We get to Start
To the boy with the blue-green shoes,
Because that is how I know you
For I can’t look in your eyes.
Thank god you always wear that pair.
To the boy with the curly hair
Because I don’t know your name
I am much too shy to ask
And afraid you will not want mine.
To the boy with the smile so sad,
Because I wish that you could know
That I will miss you when I
Let you leave, but can’t let you go
For anyone who read *Fireball Whiskey* this is the poem alluded to at the end. I wrote this eight months ago.
He looked fine. Fine with a y. Fyyyyne
However another guy had the best style, he could mismatch and make it fit.
Then again no man had abs like him, it was a canvas I longed to....
I will never forget the other guys eyes, his hazel eyes spoke to me.
How couldn't I mention the manly stance, broad shoulders, large hands man.
But honestly, I never saw beauty till I met blank.
Blank is kind, the kind that gives and expects nothing, for he
simply wants to see joy in me.
Blank is confident in himself, in a way that needs to prove nothing because he humble by nature
Blank is rational yet irrational in a way that strives and hopes.
Blank is funny, uplifting, ****.
Blank teaches me about myself, he makes me better.
I've never seen one as beautiful internally, which it illuminates externally.
Hopefully I meet blank.
_, I love you.
— The End —