Is a desperate wish the heart makes
In want, of correcting life's mistakes

The cage is full
Now what will I do
I think I'm *******
Their busting through
My fear it grew
My lifes askew
They will ensue
can I get a redo

This is the jail cell
This is the hell
trapped in this jaded mind
What will I find
Thoughts tick tocking away Wondering which way will I sway
To the left or to the right
To the dark or to the bright
My mind is all swirling
Like a tornado it's twirling
The angels they play
And remind me of a better day
The demons they dance
Just hoping by chance
That I will join in
And dance with my sin
tick tock, tick tock, which way will I sway
What's my choice going to be today

My hopes was flying way to high
Way up there in the bright blue sky
For just a moment I forgot
This is not where my train stops

I forgot my sky's are gray
I forgot only sadness finds it's way
Through sorrow's mist
It was something I had dismissed

Just for a moment my thoughts ran away
Just for a minute I let them stray
Thinking plans would all work out
That bucking horse, I wouldn't have to mount

I let them float way to far
Past the clouds, past the stars
So this is all my fault
I put the horse behind the cart

The rope was cut
The dream got bent
This smile I only rent
Happiness for me was never ment

©Pauline Russell

Please excuse me for my days of doubt
On these days I have to write it out

Otherwise these feelings stay inside
Get down in my soul and hide

Then eat away all my will
In this these feelings are very skilled

The foster thoughts of death and release
They are definitely a cunning thief

But when I write on these days, they are not sympathy
It's just to get out all the intensity

Her name is Ivy
She'd say "come on and try me"
She had an hour glass figure
Her breast couldn't get much bigger
With hair from here to there
You couldn't help but stare

She had skills in the bedroom
Made strong men weak and moan
When giving blow jobs
She always got her tongue involved
She was the best in the land
Even with just her hand

But once in her embrace
You'd lose track of time and space
A little piece of heaven wrapped up in hell
She would put you under her spell

They'd always begged for more
She just knocked them to the floor
For she truly hated men
But could make them *** and *** again

That was her poison
She toyed with their emotion
She poisoned their brain
For want of her would drive them insane
They had tasted the sweet nectar
Then could no longer get her

She drove many to take their own life
For they couldn't make her a wife
She grew wild and free
You can look but not see
She was the greatest find
But she was a poisoned vine

If you ever touched her you'd agree
The beautiful Poison Ivy

This silence is brutally violent
The voices in my head went silent
My thoughts continue to race
They stir no emotion, just empty space
A pulverized heart keeps beating
The thumping in my chest keeps repeating
The wells in my eyes have ran dry
No more tears will be cried
Not a thing to keep me reeling
No emotion, no feelings
I'm afraid I've succumbed
Laying on a bed of thorns, feeling nothing but numb

I once seen an eagle it's beautiful body gracing the sky
      "Who stood beside you to see it"
Just me, myself, and I

Once while fishing I caught a 15 pound bass on a a fishing fly
      "Who helped you pull it in"
Just me, myself, and I

I cooked up that fish,the most delicious fishfry
      "Who was there to help you eat it"
Just me, myself, and I

On a rainy day one side of the road was wet the other side was dry
      "Who was there with you for this phenomenon"
Just me, myself, and I

Once I was playing darts, I made a perfect bullseye
      "Who was there to witness such a feat"
Just me, myself, and I

While sitting on a bench one day, on my finger landed a most beautifully colored butterfly
      "Who was sitting next to you"
Just me, myself, and I

I've seen the dawns sun light up the sky with tints of yellows and reds, it truly did mystify
      "Who got to see this graceful view with you"
Just me, myself,  and I

At night I lay my body down, plunge my face into my pillow and cry
      "Who is laying right beside you hold you tight"
Just me, myself, and I

One day I will breathe my last breath and die
      "Who will carry the memories of your life"
Why no one but me, myself, and I

That day in the cold earthen tomb I will lie
      "Who will be there grieving at you graveside"
Why no one, for that coffin will contain me, myself, and I

In the coffin bear
You will find it there
If you want to know
All the secrets it will hold
All the sorrow and the strife
Will all end in the passing of life
Take a look at the empty shell
It's been released from it's cell

Welcome to her house of many bones
Step into one of life's great unknowns
With broken dreams and shattered heart
In this carnival of freaks she is apart
For the price of a ticket you can see
All the horror, and agony there could ever be

All we ask is to put down your stones
On the left is a kingless throne
No love was ever ment to stay
I don't know why, it's just that way
On your right is the dreams that's died
Where want and reality did collide

In the next room you will find
All the demons that are in her mind
Young man, please step back
These demons will, and do attack
On her arm's you'll see the scars
Made with their talon like sharpened claws

Please don't dottle, let's hurry along
This sad little journey we don't want to prolong
Up next you'll find
Human monsters of every kind
They all wear a clever disguise
You won't even see them unless your wise

Of the shadow men take no heed
Off the sorrow they just feed
The closets doors all are open wide
Not one skeleton does she hide
Please don't be scared, please don't shout
The are free to dance about

Last but not lest I want to show
What happens when the anguish grows
Tormented by years of unbridled strife
In the coffin lies her pitiful life
It's not her body, for she is the walking dead
Heart in taters, screams echoing in her head
Eyes opened wide with years of dread

The light and happiness are always there mocking
You'll find her over there in the corner rocking
Yes she had to be retrained
In the straight-jacket she will remain
It's for your safety, not hers
For the pain she endures
Is not for weak amateurs

Exit on the right
Single file, please don't fight
Enjoy the rest of the attractions
We guarantee a hundred percent satisfaction
Unless in this carnival of woeful souls you are captured
Then your only hope will be the rapture

Another morning I wake up with dread
Another day demanding to be fed

Off to work I must go
And put on another show
Boss tells me smile, that's all they want to see
I'm just a worker, just a flea
And humanity is inhumane
That's what drives people like me insane

Can't wait for the work day to end, and I'm home
Tucked way safely in my room alone

I'll turn the air up, so under my covers I huddle
I curl up and snuggle
I'm just missing someone to cuddle
Oh well I'll make do
With a stuffed animal or two

Watch the tv
Until way past three
For you see I can't sleep
My thoughts get to deep

Then get up early in the morn
When a new day is born
To feed another day, I hope doesn't feed on me
I hope it just lets me be

I'm looking for something, I'm afraid don't exist
I'm looking for something, I hope I've just missed
I'm looking for something, in the foggy mist

It's a forgotten hue, of a color so bright
It's a forgotten feeling, of being so light
It's a forgotten treasure, I should've held tight

It bounced off the rainbow
It bounced and it flowed
It bounced right into the great unknown

I'm still here calling
I'm still here falling
I'm still here bawling

I'm afraid I'll never find it again
I'm afraid I'll never win
I'm afraid I'll never taste it on the wind

I will seek it out, till my dying day
I will seek it out, I'll hunt every which way
I will seek it out, if I find it I'll make it stay

Sweet summer kisses
The mind reminisces
Arms warm and strong
Lingering so long
Weighing the chances
Knowing glances
On the blanket some fun
Love in the sun

I found a bean in my room
Hope that means I'll be leaving soon
If I plant it in my carpet
And put an X to mark it

Maybe if I sow
Maybe it will grow
And have a great stock
And for a moment I'll just stand and gawk

Maybe it will grow into the sky
Past where the birds fly
Up past the clouds
Where humans are not allowed

Then like my old friend Jack
I'll pack me a sack
Then I'll start my climb
Up that big sturdy vine

At the top I wonder what I'll find
Will it be peace of mind
Will my giants all be slayed
Will I finally be unafraid

I want to be above the grind
And all of mankind
So I planted my bean and watered it well
You can see it's starting to grow and swell

The roots start to snake
Making my floor quake
But it didn't grow up, but sideways instead
I looked at it with dread

Even my daydreams
Are not as they seem
But nightmares ensues
My lovely dark muse

There was a little girl plunged into the dark
The future for her was very stark
She never knew unconditional love
For her it was always push and shove
It was no surprise
She picked a man that was good with lies
With that choice her darkness increased
Beaten and caged, no release
She finally broke lose with young intow
Everything seemed so out of control


She finished raising her brood
All alone she stood
Protecting them from all the men
And all their sin
Or so she thought, but evil raised it's head from within
Her mom had married a bad man again
And step grandpa got her child
Her only son, that ******* *******

The drarkness has never left her side
Her heart grew chide
And there still is not a day she hasn't cried

Of course she's had day's of beauty and laughter
Those day's had to be chased after
These days are quite frail
And easily derailed
They are seen through the vail
That comes in diffrent shades of gray
But you see it never goes away

And days like today it's dark as a moon less night
Even with the sun shining bright
One small act could turn this around
But cruelty is still all she's found
So even with most of her life lived
She still in her room can be found..... hid
With shades pulled tight
To let in no light
For the dark is all she's known
So now the dark she calls home

Poem of a wonderful place where many books was read.                      





                            The
                        Mas­sive
                  Hundred year
              Old tree shaded all
         That came to sit and rest
   It had five hundred limbs and
Leaves to many to count, at the top
                        Lived a
                        Monkey
                        Girl her
                        Hair all
                        Full of
                        Curls!!

It was dusk when we reach the village
It had been plundered and pillaged

The knight asked me to put out the fire
I did knowing another brand on the outside would expire

With every good deed
Planted another wickedly evil seed
And that I sure didn't need

It was now dusk
And the Evil Lord's army was making it's ******
All across the horizon you could see their armor of rust

The villagers scattered
But there was no where to run, the knight screamed "take care of them, that's all that matters"

"No it's not you stupid man
Look at that witch that with the Evil One stands"
I heard her voice in my head "I am the true black Witch of these lands"

Out numbered and out matched
Ten thousand demon warriors were dispatched
When I thought all hope was gone in the sky I happened to glance

It seemed to be on fire
I thought this is the end, our situation dire

To my surprise LEANA had brought all her mighty dragon friends
With excitement I thought this might not be the end
We might even win

The sky was full of the greatest dragons
The land full of wicked dark phantoms
The villagers screaming it was more than they could imagine

And in the midst of it in a surreal moment I heard my loving knight say
"That other witch that's coming our way
Looks just like you" it was true I'd have to say

I had found my mother she was the worst
For placing on me this curse
That worked in reverse

For after this battle I would be just like her, a black hearted witch
From good to bad I would switch

No time for these thoughts
I prayed to Aris "save us from our foe"
Then my attention was turned toward my knight hero

"Let the river of time flow
Let my kight go
Straight to the heart of the matter
Let all of the demons scatter
Let this fight not rage on to long
In the end the hero will sing his victory song"

With this spell cast
I turn my attention to the last
All the villagers huddled in one mass

The dragon's swooped down gobbling up all that could be found
Demon and villagers alike
They where not in this for the fight
They cared nothing of wrong or right

The smell of rancid smoke filled my nose
The crunching of bones filled the air, this is not what I chose
Blood and guts flowed from the sky onto me, covering me in crimson red, I froze

Texting someone and waiting on a reply
It's taking so long I just might die
I'll be a pile of bones
Before they get to their phone

When I look in your eyes
I see the agony of a thousand goodbyes
The tears in your cries
I see the sadness of the wise

When I look in your eyes
I see the depth of love, it's no surprise
I see the twinkling of a thousand stars in the skies
I can see the moon rise

When I look in your eyes
I see the seasons turn, Autumn comes, summer dies
I see the death of year's, our slow demise
I agonize

When I look in your eyes
I sadly realize
One day we must part, there'll be no tears, no goodbyes
I'll just look into your eyes

©Pauline Russell

The Power's that be
Are laughing at me
They've stacked the deck
To them I'm a speck
Like a kid with an ant
They can't hear my rant
Not that they care
They're not interested in fair
They drop their stones
To hear my moans
Oh look there's the light
Wait, **** it's to bright
They flood my life
With worry and strife
There's no reason or rhyme
It'll change on a dime
They are not very sane
their attention will wane
They will soon let me be
By stepping on me

Now you see me, now you don't
I want to run, but maybe I wont
Frozen in time, still always moving
Memories flawed, futures always proving
Agony unwavering, is always changing
Happiness unreachable, yet so nearing
Things unwanted, forever need
Wounds have healed, scars still bleed
Always right, standing in the wrong
Feelings left to die, forever live on

All of this torment
I did not consent
In all this suffering
There is no comforting
In all this despair
No one cares
In this grief
I get no relief
I am so spent
More than bent
In all this pain
I am not sane
In all this anguish
I just languish
It's pure desolation
If I failed to mention
With no more hope
I only cope

Wake up in the morning streatch and yawn
After last night I didn't think I'd see dawn
I fought my demons all night long
And with morning light nothing can go wrong

With half closed eye's I stumble out of bed
With sleep still heavy in my head
I sway my way to the coffee ***
A brand new day a brand new start
With no idea my world would be torn apart

My cat weaved himself between my legs
He's still there as I cook my eggs
All done cooking I turn and stumble
Right over my cute cat bundle

With hands full of coffe and breakfast
Slamming my head into the table was not expected
Who knew today would be the day
Who knew I'd die this way
I fought my demons all night long
Just to be done in with my cats purring song

A broken soul
Never knowing which way to go
Constantly being cut to the bone
With edges honed
Cutting up a life force
That went so horribly off course

No one can love the shattered
Their broken pieces are to tattered
Get to close they **** and splatter
No place to step they are to scattered

One that lives a life in shards
Will never, ever put down thier guard
So they live a life alone
Love ever fleeting, or never known

Sadly only love can heal, it's what their needing
As they sit there hollowed eyed and bleeding

I'm coming unglued
My pieces are falling

I'm coming unglued
My voices are calling

I'm coming unglued
My minds come unplugged

I'm coming unglued
I could use a hug


I'm coming unglued
Shadow Men are drawing near

I'm coming unglued
My bones tremble with fear

I'm coming unglued
Sutures in my heart are starting to fray

I'm coming unglued
I can't find my way

I'm coming unglued
Nothing anyone can do

My favorite flower is the dandelion, it's color brighter than the sun
It is not a flower very much liked, and often shunned
Most people would sratch there heads
And wonder why not a hybrid one instead
It's not a flower, it's a **** and everywhere it spreads

I would so have to disagree with their view
I see it from a different point, it's true

It is the most beautiful flower I've ever seen
It has the brights yellow sheen
It's as bright as the small twinkling little eyes
That always brought me their big surprise
They are as sturdy, as the little fingers grip on to it
In their tiny hands the dandelions perfectly fit

As a mother it was the first flower
And it holds great magical power
Over my heart and mind
This flower is one of a kind
And everywhere I look I find
Pieces of memories left behind

Start of the day
I'm already in the sway
Standing on the edge
Of my life's little ledge
Standing here debating
My life I'm rating
Should I stay and fight
Just for another agonizing night
Or should I take flight
Open up my arms, let the air rush by
As I fall into the sky
Yes it's just the morning
But my mind's already storming

Headlights dimmed by sheets of rain
Driving in this is just not sane
Water stands on pavement like glass
Tries slicing through with a splash
Hydroplane.....a tree is hit
Maybe they'll think it was an accident

I live with many diseases, my life is not simple
I don't know which is worse the physical or the mental
It depends on the day
As to what I will say
And on very bad day's it is both
Those day's I loathe
I stay in my bed
And pull the covers over my head
And wish that I was dead
That being said
I just trudge along
Wishing I was strong
Strong enough to at lest kick one diseases ***
Strong enough that I don't relive the past
But that is impossible when the past visits you
He comes by every year or two
And if your wondering how I am today
Well ....in my bed I stayed

I am an outlaw like Jesse James
I'm not much for playing games
Loyalty is all I demanded
Lies I simply can not stand
Tell to me only truths
Or I'll knock out your ******* tooth

The place we're in is a high stakes  game
But in the end you'll be glad you came
We'll float a boat, we'll get real high
While we're cooking, you just might cry

If you have thoughts of rolling over
You'll end up under the sweet, red clover
We're not much on floppy tongue snitches
You'll find they end up in deep dug  ditches

But in our canoe you can ride all night
Smoke rolls up it's such a sight
On our boat you can ride for days
Sleep rans fast and far away
So come and play in our devilish way
We'll talk for hours, till there's nothing left to say

Please pass me the spoon
I need a hug from Jesus and I need it soon
My body needs to relax till it forgets to breath
Don't worry about the marks you can cover them with sleeves
A little ***** and the pain will all fade away
Let me nod out, I'll deal with it another day
Let my mind get lost in the sway
It's the ritual of the needle and the spoon
It's the hug from Jesus that can't come to soon

Shadows in my hall
They dance amongst my walls
They pirouette through my door
I feel thier dance steps on my floor

The shadow men love to play
They are here to stay
They scream they will never go away

Shadows in my hall
They leave scratches on my wall
They burst through my door
I feel their stomping on my floor

The shadow men are turning mean
They are becoming quite obscene
They are causing an awful scene

Shadows in my hall
They are leaving  black marks on my wall
They scream right through my door
I feel their nails clicking on my floor

The shadow men now in my head
They are only there to spread dread
They are only there to be fed
Till at last I'm dead

Vibrant orange clouds against a baby blue western sky
Signals that the night is drawing nigh
The steely cold fingers of the darkness will soon be around my neck
That leaves me with the unnerving feeling of being a miniscule speck
Like the pinprick of light in the heavenly sky we call stars
It leaves me in pieces like I've been hit by runaway boxcars

Night time is when the world falls eerily silent, and my mind sets to roaming
Down the hallways of my memories I start floating
Soon like fireworks they begin exploding
My mental state quickly is eroding
My nights are always a coal black foreboding

True love

Silence makes the demons come alive
In the silence they just thrive
So my house is never quiet
Some times it sounds like an all out riot
My tv is alway on
So my demons do not spawn

I already have to many
Three is more than plenty
If you're wondering how I know the count
I've seen them in my house walk about

If you wonder if I get scared
My aswers, no all my houses they've shared
Even my kids no longer worry about them
It's only me the seek to condemn

But when new folks spend the night
They seem to stay up till the morning light
I guess they don't have unearthly visitors
Because in the morning they become quite the inquisitors
Like how do you ever sleep, and don't they scare you
I sleep with the tv on, and only a few times they do

But I like it better when I can see them from my bed
It means their not messing up there in my head
For only when they walk my floors
They aren't in my mind opening doors
That should stay shut
Because those memories make me cut

They are devious little basterds
They know exactly what their after
And they've almost succeeded a few times
But I'm still here, alive, on that up hill climb
But one day they'll win
And with the fishes I'll swim

Know that I am sorrow please take my hand
I'll lead you to constant pain in new land
But unlike happiness I'll never leave you
I won't make you sit in the churches hard pew
But at times I'll make you drop to your knees
Under the weeping willow trees
I let the limbs hide your tear stained face
I'll show you the horrors,for you I'll make my case
For I have no mercy for you at all
I'll trip you and laugh as you fall
I'll take all your fears and make them come true
You'll never be happy again, that will never do
I am sorrow and I'll never leave you

I was very cautious
I knew if I wasn't what it would cost us
I made sure the bedroom was perfect
I wanted MY romantic affect
I hung the plastic, then the curtains
Bed exactly in the middle, I had to be certain
Lit a few candles
Then sliped on my dress, and my sandals

I cruise the street
For my baby to meet
I pick him up at the corner
My heart beats faster, my body warmer
We go back to my house
Where we start to mess about
I lead you to my bedroom
We'll be making love soon

To my bed you are shackled
You have no idea of my feeling of hackles
Straddling you, and ridding you like a horse
All the wail your loving it of course

With you still in me, I bring out my toys
They are only for my collection of boys

They are bright and shiny
I will not treat you kindly
They are so sharp they can split a hair
And in their refection you just stare
You can't believe what you see
As the look on my face is pure glee

You body starts to convulse and thrash
Then with my blades I start to slash
I plunge my toy in
With the evilest grin
I love the squirting gushing sound
It's all so profound

I have loved all my men
That's why I let no one chase them
Forever in death they are mine
I'm one of a kind

I slash him to ribbons
It's as fun as the dickens
He's still alive
And feels every vibe
Covered in blood
Our bodies fit like a glove

I slowly climb off top
And lop of his part
Blood sprays the room
Death will be here soon

I'm so happy I made it romantic
And taped up the plastic
I am the Black Spider
I **** all I desire

Little boy blue, for you I blow the horn
I wish you was just lost amongst the corn
But the monster came and snatched your hand
Lead you off to an angry foreign land
I can see you, but can't touch your frozen heart
You was such a loving child at the start
But my little boy has grown into an angry man
Now in this empty field I stand
A trillion tears I've cried for you
Of the loss of my little boy blue
Who's eye's use to look up to me with love
You are my only son sent from above
But now you've gone into the void
Your innocence and ability to love destroyed

You are the single star in my midnight sky
You are the sun that brings the rainbow in my rain
You are the answer to my question why
You are the healing touch in the midst of my pain
You are the voice of reason when I go insane
You are the cooling breeze when my temperature rises
You are my knight in shining armor when the demons are in my brain
You are the new beginning that sets on my horizon

I beg you please enter and leave your place of wonder
Come to me I call all darkness
In here you will be safe from the light

We have a new carcass
It will be so easy
We were invited
We can do what we want
We can not be cited

So here we will stay
Even though with all these demons we are cramped
You.can do anything
On her forehead she is stamped

I want to lie down with you
I want to die too
I don't want to fight in this world without you by my side
I'll I can do is cry

I try to hold the agony within
So no one else can see, so it won't offend
So they won't worry, so they don't know
Just how badly with you I want to go

But tiny agonizing whimpers escape between my lips
I don't know how much longer I can  man this woeful ship
There is a hurricane in my ocean
Turbulent thoughts plunder my emotions

I can feel the sinking
I can not stop the thinking
(I should of left and followed you that same date)
(if I leave this earth now, can I catch you, or am I to late)

All I can do now is sing my woeful cry
Cuss at that unseen entity in the sky
My insides ******* in the tightest knots
Minds in a spin and so are my thoughts

Send me a message,  send me a sign
Let me in one of my note books find
Where you once wrote "love you ***"  
Should I pick up, or put down the gun
Your death was a shock unplanned
Does that mean I have to stay here and stand

Does that mean I can't intentionally follow
That I'll have to stay in this lonely abyss and wallow
You use to guide me back
When my world got to black
I was always there for you also
Now your death I must swallow

I'm feeling mighty hollow
I don't want to face an empty tomorrow
I know you're telling me to stay
But you was my light that lit my darkness and turned it gray
Now you went on without me, your so far away

My world now an ominous black
Weight of the world on my back
I want to lay it all down
Walk out into the woods and never be found

Drown my screams out with your chatter
I'm unseen, I don't matter
Please don't give me another thought
In the grip of nothingness I was caught
Day by day I slowly slipped away
As I slowly faded to gray
You never noticed, you never knew
Noting in your life was askew
Once upon a time I use to cross your mind
The best erasing is done by time
Now I'm but a gray mist,that floats before your minds eye
That before you can grasp the memory away I fly

No kind of drug can help me escape this brutality
That is now my horrifying reality
There is no place I can hide or run
When life becomes the nightmare I want to wake from
My whole world has crumbled
Now desperately lost within the rubble

So thankful we always took the time to say "I love you"
Because before that branded day was through
The winds of change..... They blew

I found you, but you where already gone
Now I must learn how to say so long
You sprouted your wings and flew away
You left me here all alone to stay

I'm still in this earthly hell
This sorrowful anguish I can not quell
For how will I NOW ever vanquish the sorrow
For you are no longer in my tomorrows
How will I ever disburse the pain
That swells up my brain
For you took with you my love, my heart
Without those how do I even start

These tears that gush down my face are not for you dear friend
Nor are the wails of anguish that to the skys I send
For I know you are in a better place
I know your in a better space
Be it with your loved ones,  or in the veils darkness kept
It is for me these tears are wept

You took not only my reason to sing, ***, you where my song
Without you, how am I gonna stay strong
When everyday is at lest a week long
When I need you, there will be no loving arms
My life is now my nightmare, it's so ******* WRONG

Close to death
A finale breath
Reaper's touch
A finale hush
Pain dissipates
In loved one's eyes reinstates

At long last I can feel a cool breeze
     "I can breath again"
No need to cower, I'm off of my knees
     "I can stand again"
There on the horizon beams a bright light
     "I can see again"
Shining out hope in my darkest night
     "I can dream again"
A steady beacon to sail towards
     "I can raise my sails again"
In life's music I once again hear the cords
     "I can dance again"
Feel with in my chest, this shattered heart beating
     "I'm alive again"
I washed up on a new shore, a new beginning
     "I have hope again"



Please treat me gently, treat me kind
For a scared little rabbit is what you'll find
That's lived life way to long in that ******  hole
I was thrown down there so long ago
But my love comes with no possibility of pain
For what's been done to me, I could never do the same

A stones throw from heaven
To bad they close at eleven
Guess I'll be eating with the devil again
He doesn't care about all my sin
We'll talk and laugh and drink some gin
We'll play pinochle and I'll let him win
I'll never have to worry about being cold
I won't be blinded by the street's of gold
I'll play fetch with his hound
Won't have to worry about that heavenly crown
We'll smoke a bowl and get real high
Won't have to worry about how angels fly
We'll crank that metal music up till the earth shakes
No worrying about being tested till I break
I'll be there with the rest of the primates
No  more worrying about those locked pearly gates

You treat me like schrodingers cat
And some times I just don't get that
I was alive when you slammed the lid
And now I'm as scared as a little kid
But you have to sort out your own head
And you leave me here filled with dread
Because when I really really need you
You act like you haven't a clue
Are you afraid my sadness will hurt you to much
That my agony will be to much for the touch
That's ok I'll keep it locked away
And maybe, just maybe one day
You'll lift the lid to look inside
Only to find out I have died

He was an emotional blackmailer
He'll always makes you feel like a failure
He lives off of emotion
He tosses you around like the ocean

He craves attention and pity
He's feelings are always gritty
He'll toss words around
He just loves his own sound
He is so ******* vain
And he loves to get inside your brain

He says he loves you then causes nothing but pain
The emotions he puts you through is so inhumane

He makes you feel sympathy because he's so sad
If you don't show enough empathy he gets very mad

He says he'll commit suicide
And you'll be sorry he died
Because it would be all of your fault
It's all just a part of his emotional assault
He loves to hear your plea
"Please don't do it babe" it fills him with glee

Emotional assault by every degree
He'll only love you if with him you agree
In every situation it's all about him
To think any diffrent would be the cardinal sin

With him by your side
It's a very bumpy ride
Love, hate, and pain
To him it's all the same
As long as he is the center of attention
None of your feelings can even be mentioned

A rollercoaster of feelings
Is what he is dealing
He's an emotional blackmailer because he has none of his own
He's empty and hollow just like a drone

So he lives off of yours
He'll break you till your on all fours
He just loves to see you broken on the floor
He'll pick you back up, just to knock you back down
In his little circus, you are his clown

And if you really love him
Your future is most grim

You fixed the lock
To that internal clock
That in my heart did dwell
I'm under your spell
You found the key
To set it free
Heart beating
Chest heaving
Mind spinning
Alive again
Your under my skin
Your traped within
Lost in time
Now that your mine