She was waiting for him outside the house in the rain.
And she was constantly peering into the far distance.
She didn’t think what would happen to her with that.
The rain was covering all her pinching sadness.

She was waiting for him outside the house in the rain.
She wasn’t crying, no, she was getting wet.
The rain was pitiful to her and crying heart out,
Not realizing that she was extremely wet.

She was waiting for him outside the house in the rain.
And the rain wasn’t calm. It was simply pelting.
She must have made mistake - the house was wrong.
Or maybe he forgot her and stopped waiting.

I woke up early today.
I woke up close to the sun.
There's an abyss of thoughts in my head,
Those that can't be there. None.

I try not to think. I try to sleep back.
But it's no use! They press for no why.
They press in my temples! They press pack my chest!
Thoughts of those, who scarifies.

I don't know where to run me whole?
Where can I find my peace?
It's my hopelessness... It's my end...
I guess they are my guilt and penance.

I thought it would turn out.
I thought the time acted in tune with me.
I thought I was strong.
I thought it would be like a movie.

I know it was my mistake.
I thought it all seemed to me.
I can't believe still
That the fate can so bully me

And what’s then? What’s left?
Maybe the faith that the day'll beep,
That day when the sun pushs cheekily
To windows, disturbing sleep.

That day when there’s no sadness,
When everything’s clear and plain!
That day when the soul is married
To happiness, sprayed with rain.

That day when all the trumpets around
Struck the march, bravura and blessed!
That day when I live the whole time
Just live without any dread.

You don't like new acid jazz.
It's exotic, non-native flow.
It's like a traveler, dressed for show,
With a silk neckscarf as topaz.

You don't bear the style mixture.
It's like a slapdash of free spheres.
And no need to gather then down the years.
It'll be-all a needless fixture.

You don't accept circumlocutions,
Allegories and hidden meanings.
Quotations, accents and other symbols -
These are unnecessary gleanings.

You know, you're unbearably stubborn
You can't stand any fancy guessing.
You're far from a beauty of word expressing.
Sorry, but you're monotone.

I’m alive! Listen to my heartbeat!
The door is closed and my heart is behind it.
It’s knocking as if it wants to escape. Silly,
It’s cold and frost outside. You’ll be chilly.

I’m alive! Look, these are tears.
That’s how it can be with poor trees,
When their trunks are cut with a knife.
Their pain will be soothed by the rain for life.

I’m alive! You see, I’m running.
I don’t need no you or your halls. Just nothing!
I’m running at random, no matter where!
My star will guide me now and forever!

Tell me that I’ll pull through,
Or I’m a little bit feel down.
For you it’s just a trifle,
And for me it’ll give a strength crown.

I'll know there's someone believes in me
I'll just hear, that he's somewhere.
Even it’s not true, doesn’t matter.
Tell lies! I really don’t care!

Tell me that I’ll overcome,
That my spirit is really strong.
But don’t pry into my soul.
It’s sealed up with black wax for long.

It shouldn’t be touched soever,
It’s only the time for its rest.
Tell me that I’ll pull through.
Tell me something! I want to be confessed!

Amidst the crowd she’s alone,
Amidst all hundreds of friends and others.
She’s alone. She sits by herself.
Amidst empty and worthless dialogues.

It’s as if she’s being overlooked.
It’s like as if she’s in silence cloud.
Her thoughts are quiet for all them.
She’s far away. She’s lost in the crowd.

She lives in her own world of dreams,
Without fictions, lies and falsehood.
Her footsteps are quiet for others as streams.
Nobody knows what'll be her remote.

And she lives in her tiny world.
Worries and fears are endless there.
It seems as if she’s attached in whole
To all her pain, which bites and bares.

And she just wanted a little sunshine
Among this obscence malodorous mud.
She just wanted to hide in sun rays
From this dirtiness, from this crud.

And she just wanted to be joyful.
She wanted to laugh but not in hysterics,
That rippling laughter would wink with a smile.
She wanted a gladness, and no mysteries.

She also wanted a lot of snow,
So white, so huge, with snow banks!
But you found nothing better than damage all!
Aren’t you people? There’s nothing sacred!

And she just wanted a little happiness.
You were so stingy, and she would have shared.
She didn’t have grunge for you, she didn’t have meanness…
At the beginning… Look, what you’ve achieved that!  

Look, what you’ve turned the angel into.
She walks without the sun through the mud.
She’s lost, but she isn’t humiliated.
Why have you done all that to her, my God?!

All that she wanted was little sunshine,
A little warmth and simple happiness.
And you thought that it was ****** and silly.
You tore her soul to pieces! You’re merciless!

Torn to shreads, appalled and pained,
She still walks because she’s alive.
And you keep on spill all with mud,
Without seeing her, burn up and deprive.

I so want to get lost at all,
That no one would find my way.
Just vanish, dissolve, disappear,
That even my waft would fade away.

I'm ready to drop off the radar,
Like a loan garden, without a trace.
So that only a withered echo
Of my existence will reach ears.

The echo will fade, the memory'll cancel
And all will sink into a life sand.
But if I suddenly fail, if I couldn't,
I beg you, don't find me, at no hand.

A new day is come, but the greyness is here.
All streets and faces are still grey.
It seems as usual, but this grey sky
Drives me crazy in whole to the extreme.

I see grey asphalt before my eyes.
Sick grey thoughts are overpowering.
It seems as usual, but something’s wrong.
This allout greyness’s cheekily inhering.

I open the window, I want to breathe.
And this grey air arrows me roughly.
It happens boldly, it happens rude.
The air grips me unceremoniously.

The greyness is becoming the part of me.
Even my coffee is cloudy grey.
I’d like to wrap and sleep till snow.
Just want to know it won’t be grey.

I should allow myself doing nothing.
It's odd, it's not a bit me at all.
Working and working, on and on always.
There's short of days and nights noway in whole.

I should allow myself off-the-cuff,
Thinking or straining nowise entirely.
Just sit around and doing nothing,
And savour my unsweet coffee calmly.  

I should allow myself simply never
Leave my desires and dreams until later.
I'm not forever with this time exactly.
I'm a grain of creation in fact, no greater.

I should allow myself to live truly,
To live this life as it's given to me since day one.
And now simply live, there is no hurry.
I've already much more and awry done.

No more words. You’re right, it’s enough
Of mussy clusters of meaningless phrases.
All thoughts are chilled and are wrapped in pain.
It’s not an interesting story for us.

Colors have faded, cleaned out with time.
The beauty’s become decrepit in whole.
The past has been a depressing burthen.
An emptiness’s hanged over us in full.

There’re no more words.
Feelings are rootless.
We’re free of each other.
Our love is bootless.

Reckless unlucky poor wretch
She’s roamed much. She’s suffered much.
And no matter what happens around her,
It’s all the one – she is still such.

She was in any way kind to world.
She never had any blackhearted thoughts.
She trusted much, dissolved in love.
She gave herself with no second thoughts.

She slipped away into her love.
She was sure no poison was there,
No rude and mortal human drafts.
There was only the truth! And nothing else never!

But there was a lot of dirt in real,
A lot of stiffness, a lot of falsehood.
She gave her love with no doubt an’ fear
And they in reply only croak of crows.  

She’s so panny plain, naive and homely
And she still live against the odds.
She roams the world and dumbly shuffling
Forever forbids herself to love.

Everything’s broken, shattered,
Scattered completely asunder.
And I’m left as a steppe mat grass.
Only crows go round and thunder.

Only crows go round, and their wings
Chase out my reckless life.
I should run after her, but I’m beat.
I can’t catch up with her. I’m lowlife.

I’m lowlife. I can’t hand her back.
I would apologise! I'd confess!
Everything went amiss with us.
It’s a shame that we'll get no chance.

Hold off on your verdict for her now.
Put by your own condemnations.
You never lived behind the wall
In the grip of grievous self-abnegations.

In the morning, while opening eyes,
She destroys and despises herself in whole!
She hates herself! She abhors the world,
Which she has made by herself alone.

She wants everything would disappeared,
Evaporated as though it's never been
So that there's nothing left around,
Nothing reminded of her as she's been.

And she would start with a blank sheet.
Forgiven, redeemed and clearly blameless,
Hold off on your verdict for her now,
For her, who leans over ruins.

You turned up suddenly in my life.
I wasn’t expected at all.
You was so determined and daring.
You hold me tightly in whole.

You understood what to do,
What I wanted and dreamed about.
Even though you knew me a bit,
You knew what I needed just now.

And unnoticed, in a half whisper,
You appeared beside me
As the rustle of leaves, the wind sound.
I don’t know how it could be.

It’s like you are on “Replay”
All day long till it’s dark.
When the night comes and I fall asleep,
You are with me stark!

The bird flew,
The bird fall.
What’s happened to her?
Did it break a wing?
The bird flew,
The bird was tired,
The bird fall.
Bad luck is the thing.
No bread crumb,
No clear sky…
It’s all gone for her.
Such is the fate.
The bird flew,
The bird fall.
The bird is gone.
That is the end.

All these days are impossibly long.
And their sameness drives out of mind.
I’m here again, in front of you.
I did it myself. And I’m by your side.

I know it all, exactly, to point.
Your steady gaze’s callously cold.
Your voice’s like those strings, picked by fingers,
So lazily and heartlessly in whole.

My body remembers the touch of your hands.
So strong, so manly, up to you don’t.
And your distressing extended silence
Is able to **** with no shadow of doubt.

I’m here again! In front of you! Look!
I know, it’s where my doom is now.
But I grab hold of love again
And I can reverse just nothing and nohow.

Let’s try without needless words,
Unnecessary pauses and empty doubts
To finish out fairy tale, titled “Unlove”.
Let’s stop all fights. We have no other outs.

Let’s try without needless tears
To recognize that we're both orphaned.
We’ve been repaid wholly for our Unlove:
Our hearts are faded, our souls're ossified.

Let’s try without needless words
To say the only one and single phrase:
“Forgive me for this poor Unlove!”
It’ll be the rare truth without any haze.

Don’t feel sorry for me. It’s not your thing.
And I’m not good at taking regret.
Let’s just sit and keep quite. Come on! I please!
And split up. Yes, just like that.

You’re tired no end. Believe me, I see.
For so many years you’ve been dragging my grief.
I’ve let you go! Go out of here!
But you haven’t left. And I’ve nowhere to leave.

So, you and I will continue to suffer,
To ******* each other, to contort oneself.
Just the two of us again in a circle.
In the end we’ll forget who we are ourselves.

I feel bad right now. But I’m used to it.
I’m not criticizing or blaming you.
Let’s break up now just for the hell of it!
You’re leaving and I’m releasing you!

I broke myself of looking ahead.
Why is it now?
There’s no one there, who’s waiting for me.
I can’t come nohow.

I’m walking random, I don’t know where.
It doesn’t matter.
I struggled a lot, but everything turned
Into a waste paper.

I’m crying: “Stop! It’s enough! I shouldn’t
Remember all that!”
But night is merciless and time after time
It brings me back.

It brings me back to that place, where
The light was on.
It brings me back to that calm quite,
Where I’m gone.

And my mucky memory keep your window
In its mind:
Your curtains of almond color and bed lamp…
Now there’s night.

I forbid myself to be sad!
Today I really want that!
Causes are more than enough in fact.
They’re all mine and I won’t forget.

I forbid myself to be blue!
I’ve no time for it, really.
My blues eats me completely at all!
I disburden of it entirely!

I forbid myself to be fear!
It is no longer for me.
I have no desire for fright right here!
There is no place for fear in me!

I confirm myself to live!
I’ll remove every hitch on my way!
To burn! To struggle! To show! To create!
That's how I love anyway!

Please, listen to me.
I know you’ve done it forever.
Maybe you’ve done it more than enough,
More than you should not now or ever.

Please, listen to me.
I swear to you, I will be silent.
And in my silence you’ll see my soul,
Which will be crying out of mind.

My soul’s alive.
It needs much power to go on living.
It simply wants to go ahead
Without guile, with only pure feeling.

Please, listen to me.
I know you’ll still do it forever.
But no matter what happens to any of us,
Please, listen to me whatever, whenever.

Night is in. Windows go out.
Everything’s falling asleep.
Dreams are twisting round parks and squares.
Railing platforms are slept on feet.

The blooming town is wrapped by silence.
It restlessly bustled during the day.
But night has come, and all its fervor
Has suddenly fully gone away.

The morning will come, and everything’ll wake up.
The town will seethe up and run at full pelt.
All men will wake up, the whole thing will go back.
Isn’t that so? Please, tell me! Is that it??

But life dictates its own canons.
Life is deaf to all people’s pleas.
And windows go out first, last and all the time.
Less than all return to their things.

Windows began to go out around me.
Unturned, completely, forever, at all.
Windows go out… Windows go out…
The light goes out once and for all.

Sorry, but you have to stay.
I don’t let you go. You hear?
We both have some things to do.
I won’t get through them alone. I fear.

Maybe you like quite another.
A cushy life without any jerks.
But tell me, please, at least for the last time,
What should I do with my love in fact?

My love is mite, but it’s so forceful!
Touch it slightly, it’ll burn you at once.
Leave it answerless, it will be prickly,
Tameless and cruel. It’ll die to us.

My love isn’t pampered, but it’s with pretense
For languishing gaze and beautiful phrase.
You tamed it firmly, you made it subject.
You didn’t wean it. Just put it in maze.

Sorry, but you have to stay.
I’m still in love with you as yet.
I’ll cope with my life on my own totally.
But the fate of my love without you will be sad.

Don’t let me go, I please! Don’t let me go!
I’m scared of everything outside of here.
There’s much cruelty and pain! Too much!
I will be lost there. I won’t be near.

Don’t give me, please! Don’t give away
To those false and ***** judges.
They have no honor and no soul.
There’s no life, just hollow crunches.

Please, don’t forget me! Don’t forget!
If I of sudden disappear,
Scatter, get lost or fall away,
Agreed!
But don’t forget in real!

I’ve known you a long time,
Probably the eviternity.
Now I’m as if in a stupid film,
Trying to roll up the infinity.

Your grimace is clear-cut.
Your taunts are plain.
Your eyes are as if pictured.
You’re near, and they’re far-away.

Your hair is at my finger-tips.
It’s rigid and rough as strings.
Touch them by hand and here's the space.
Your hair’s reminds stings.

Your silence is my kaiken -
A short sword and a precise beat.
You despised me by your muteness.
How familiar is your cheat!

Your firmly closed lips
Are like a mask of tragic jesters.
Do you hear trumpets are playing afar?
A strange love is being buried there.

I tripped up you as time wore on.
I foundered on your lying piety.
I came with you forgetting all.
I came to you against legality.

I trusted you inspite your silence.
I put behind all that I had.
Your stingy speech and thick-skinned temper
Were my salvation and no bet!

My world centered on you in whole.
It’s like I fell out of life.
I had no reason to go there
Where you were not with all your lies.

And what is now? I’m here again.
And there’s no peace around at all.
I stand here naked with damaged fate
And try to meet my shame to all.

I wasn’t waiting for your call. I knew you would.
I didn’t bite off fingers, nervously awaiting.
I didn’t come for phone anytime
That it was late in silence as if flouting.

And I was walking on the street, so lazily and slowly.
And I was breathing calmly, evenly, full-breath.
And I continued living, saving plans and wishes.
I knew your call would come, there can be no pretexts.

And as it should be, my affairs caught me up
In its own dashing cycle with the head.
I don’t know how I actually forgot
About your call, which should be and no bet.

Yes, I forgot and you just didn’t call.
Let’s easy say that we’re kind of even.
I will go on. I’ll live without your call.
And you don’t call me, uselessly forgiven.

There was so much I wanted to say to you,
But I didn’t make it.
Like a beast at bay I was in a hurry
And eager to thataway.
I thought: “I’ll achieve my goals and dreams
That I need and then
Everything will go and run, and fly,
In a right way.”

It seemed to me that my story
Will surely happen.
And I exchanged myself recklessly
For nothing important at all.
I never imagined that my life
Would be depopulated,
And what’s left of it will turn into
A paper ******* in whole.

I’ve got to gather it all by any means, really.
I must have foolishly outdone my fate all over.
And you… Sorry, I will be honest with you, my dear:
There was so much to say to you, but I thought over.

You and I in the Universe and no one around.
Like my life has completed the circle right now.
There were people, so many of them, but now no one.
And I want to change nothing at all for no one.

I don’t want to hand back that unwanted and useless run.
To someone, for something, for some reason, for or against anyone.
I didn’t know goal, I didn't feel meaning, I didn’t see end,
But rushed and teared to pieces without any bend.

I didn’t see light, didn’t hear the truth at all.
And I realized that my measly life not to all.
But I was like a demented and crazy crack.
Rushing in there, I said the whole time: “No one step back!”

I’ve paused my life or maybe I’ve stopped.
And in that hysterics I’ve almost overshot.

You and I in the Universe – let it be so.
Hold my hand. I’m blind and in the gloom in whole.
But I’m alive! Look, I’m breathing by chest.
I’m not in a hurry now. I just want to rest.

I’m hearing your whisper in my eyes.
Afraid of frighten off, and touching lightly.
My eyes are closed, my lips are thrilled.
And I’m immersing in your whisper irrevocably.

I am immersing in your breath in full.
It’s covering my skin so temptingly and softly
How painful is the waiting, dumb in full.
I’m destroying me in it full-on and clumsy.

I’m feeling how my body’s softening.
My feet become just like a cotton.
My mind is silent. And it doesn’t care.
I’m walking all alone whence no return.

I am immersing in you, I’m almost dying
You are so glamorous and you’re mine…
I am immersing, I’m confessing standing here,
And I don’t care what will happen in a while.

You’re scratching at my door,
So carefully and humbly.
Come in... You're so shy...
Don't be suprised. Go to.

You see, my door is opened now
And I’m not expecting guests at all.
In contrast to no one will enter here,
No one will cross the sill of all.

My home today is calm and empty.
It doesn’t scare me at all.
I am so tired of eyeless follies,
Of thoughtless cavil, eating up the whole.

Come in.
It’s clean and warm here.
It smells of labdanum and mint.
I’ll give you tea.
And now you’re here,
And we’re not to blame,
Nor you or me…

I split in half
And lost one half
I couldn’t find it anywhere
Inspite of painful search across.
I stayed without it forever.

And I walked half
With limps throughout.
I didn’t give in and walked up.
I looked for my half, stayed for and hoped.
I didn’t give up, spite all hard.

And time went by,
My faith was weaken.
But I got stronger and sure all.
I let it go and I stopped waiting.
No search, no hope, nothing at all.

And I am walking
Half and half,
Walking alone with no one near.
But now I know how live in half,
With splitted fate there and here.

I’ve stepped again into my old life.
I know it’s nohow and nowhere.
I lived there, yeah, I was there long.
But I don’t pick out it, however.

I keep in mind my love to you.
I lost myself, chucked wildly and fouly.
My life was ruined and I was nowhere.
I swapped myself for you blindly.

I was cheerful for you and gloomy,
Freaky and as a gold itself.
If you wanted, I could be a dummy.
But I’ve never been just myself.

I always was near, but you didn’t sight of.
I left one day, but you returned.
And I’m here again. Again it’s all here!
And what is needless is simply crossed.

I’m like a kitten, blind and lost,
I’m crawling out at sounds or light.
I’ll hide in this life for now perharps
As if I’m not here for quite.

I’m walking down the street alone.
My glance is listless into vacancy.
My heart is now a granite stone.
Nothing can hurt it more. It’s blessy.

I’m walking freely and no-fault.
I am alone and I’m forgiven.
For blind and reckless love for good,
For life devoid of mind and meaning.

I’m moving forward and don’t care
That nothing is in front and rear.
Only a silent emptiness is inside
No whisper and no groan… All died…

I’m walking quetly and slow.
I have no faith, no hope, no love.
My love is tired, weakened whole.
It moved away from here. No half.

I’m left without you…
It’s not terrifying. Not at all!
My door is closed, lights are off.
My head is delirious on top of all.

I’m left without you…
It’s not queer. Come on!
Our love is farce. It’s long been known.
We must stop playing it. It’s gone.

I’m left without you…
It’s not hard. I got this!
And I won’t break! Don’t think about it.
Wanna check? Stay out of my way, please.

I’m left without you…
It’s not good. It’s empty.
I must pay for mistake.
There’s a pain clot inside me
This all is mine! It’s my plenty!

You came to me again,
Quite suddenly and unwanted,
Into my humdrum life,
So chaotic and disheveled.

You tried to tell a lot.
You hurried up, your thoughts were scaped.
You told a lot and sputter
But even so you weren’t lightweigt.

You stood firmly at the window.
You believed in your own myth.
Your fingers nervously tugged the curtains.
I prayed “Go away”, but you didn’t leave.

The sunlight stroked the top of your head.
And you told and told… I knew it was lie.
You looked at me ******* up your eyes
As if I was your longed-for pie.

I was silent. I didn’t break in.
You told, no look somebody else.
I was in pain and I picked out
That you loved not me but only yourself.