I’m hearing your whisper in my eyes.
Afraid of frighten off, and touching lightly.
My eyes are closed, my lips are thrilled.
And I’m immersing in your whisper irrevocably.

I am immersing in your breath in full.
It’s covering my skin so temptingly and softly
How painful is the waiting, dumb in full.
I’m destroying me in it full-on and clumsy.

I’m feeling how my body’s softening.
My feet become just like a cotton.
My mind is silent. And it doesn’t care.
I’m walking all alone whence no return.

I am immersing in you, I’m almost dying
You are so glamorous and you’re mine…
I am immersing, I’m confessing standing here,
And I don’t care what will happen in a while.

I’m left without you…
It’s not terrifying. Not at all!
My door is closed, lights are off.
My head is delirious on top of all.

I’m left without you…
It’s not queer. Come on!
Our love is farce. It’s long been known.
We must stop playing it. It’s gone.

I’m left without you…
It’s not hard. I got this!
And I won’t break! Don’t think about it.
Wanna check? Stay out of my way, please.

I’m left without you…
It’s not good. It’s empty.
I must pay for mistake.
There’s a pain clot inside me
This all is mine! It’s my plenty!

You and I in the Universe and no one around.
Like my life has completed the circle right now.
There were people, so many of them, but now no one.
And I want to change nothing at all for no one.

I don’t want to hand back that unwanted and useless run.
To someone, for something, for some reason, for or against anyone.
I didn’t know goal, I didn't feel meaning, I didn’t see end,
But rushed and teared to pieces without any bend.

I didn’t see light, didn’t hear the truth at all.
And I realized that my measly life not to all.
But I was like a demented and crazy crack.
Rushing in there, I said the whole time: “No one step back!”

I’ve paused my life or maybe I’ve stopped.
And in that hysterics I’ve almost overshot.

You and I in the Universe – let it be so.
Hold my hand. I’m blind and in the gloom in whole.
But I’m alive! Look, I’m breathing by chest.
I’m not in a hurry now. I just want to rest.

You’re scratching at my door,
So carefully and humbly.
Come in... You're so shy...
Don't be suprised. Go to.

You see, my door is opened now
And I’m not expecting guests at all.
In contrast to no one will enter here,
No one will cross the sill of all.

My home today is calm and empty.
It doesn’t scare me at all.
I am so tired of eyeless follies,
Of thoughtless cavil, eating up the whole.

Come in.
It’s clean and warm here.
It smells of labdanum and mint.
I’ll give you tea.
And now you’re here,
And we’re not to blame,
Nor you or me…

I split in half
And lost one half
I couldn’t find it anywhere
Inspite of painful search across.
I stayed without it forever.

And I walked half
With limps throughout.
I didn’t give in and walked up.
I looked for my half, stayed for and hoped.
I didn’t give up, spite all hard.

And time went by,
My faith was weaken.
But I got stronger and sure all.
I let it go and I stopped waiting.
No search, no hope, nothing at all.

And I am walking
Half and half,
Walking alone with no one near.
But now I know how live in half,
With splitted fate there and here.

I feel like I’m being hugged by sadness.
My heart aches inside out. I’m kind of cold.
Over and over I am not sleeping …
The dawn is knocking hardly by its maul.

The dawn is ruthless to me now.
He’s tearing into my windows whole,
Unceremoniously, coolly claiming
That he’s the boss! He owns to all!

And I’d have to obey. What am I?
It’s not the first dawn and broken night.
And I’ve already realized that
I’m alone and it’s my unique right.

My sadness is holding my hand tightly.
She’s poor and orphaned at all.
I think I’ll stay with her for a short time
While I get stale here for all.

She was waiting for him outside the house in the rain.
And she was constantly peering into the far distance.
She didn’t think what would happen to her with that.
The rain was covering all her pinching sadness.

She was waiting for him outside the house in the rain.
She wasn’t crying, no, she was getting wet.
The rain was pitiful to her and crying heart out,
Not realizing that she was extremely wet.

She was waiting for him outside the house in the rain.
And the rain wasn’t calm. It was simply pelting.
She must have made mistake - the house was wrong.
Or maybe he forgot her and stopped waiting.

I’m walking down the street alone.
My glance is listless into vacancy.
My heart is now a granite stone.
Nothing can hurt it more. It’s blessy.

I’m walking freely and no-fault.
I am alone and I’m forgiven.
For blind and reckless love for good,
For life devoid of mind and meaning.

I’m moving forward and don’t care
That nothing is in front and rear.
Only a silent emptiness is inside
No whisper and no groan… All died…

I’m walking quetly and slow.
I have no faith, no hope, no love.
My love is tired, weakened whole.
It moved away from here. No half.

Amidst the crowd she’s alone,
Amidst all hundreds of friends and others.
She’s alone. She sits by herself.
Amidst empty and worthless dialogues.

It’s as if she’s being overlooked.
It’s like as if she’s in silence cloud.
Her thoughts are quiet for all them.
She’s far away. She’s lost in the crowd.

She lives in her own world of dreams,
Without fictions, lies and falsehood.
Her footsteps are quiet for others as streams.
Nobody knows what'll be her remote.

And she lives in her tiny world.
Worries and fears are endless there.
It seems as if she’s attached in whole
To all her pain, which bites and bares.

No more words. You’re right, it’s enough
Of mussy clusters of meaningless phrases.
All thoughts are chilled and are wrapped in pain.
It’s not an interesting story for us.

Colors have faded, cleaned out with time.
The beauty’s become decrepit in whole.
The past has been a depressing burthen.
An emptiness’s hanged over us in full.

There’re no more words.
Feelings are rootless.
We’re free of each other.
Our love is bootless.

I can’t look up from you! No way!
I dig into you like a hungry beast!
I’m so little! **** little of you!
I breath in you and touch your lips!

I want to melt into your eyes,
Retain forever your heatbeat!
I really need you! Need you much!
As air to breath! As light to see!

I’m ready to run to you wherever you are!
I’m ready to crawl to you! Just call!
If you want I will be your shadow
Or I’ll wait on your side.
Don’t care at all!

I should allow myself doing nothing.
It's odd, it's not a bit me at all.
Working and working, on and on always.
There's short of days and nights noway in whole.

I should allow myself off-the-cuff,
Thinking or straining nowise entirely.
Just sit around and doing nothing,
And savour my unsweet coffee calmly.  

I should allow myself simply never
Leave my desires and dreams until later.
I'm not forever with this time exactly.
I'm a grain of creation in fact, no greater.

I should allow myself to live truly,
To live this life as it's given to me since day one.
And now simply live, there is no hurry.
I've already much more and awry done.

What a night tonight…
It’s quiet, quiet!
No sounds, no crunches, no breeze,
It’s not like last day.

Now it would be the time
To talk about love with you.
But the Night is wild
Let’s not stress her out anyway.

What a night tonight…
It’s dark, dark!
There’re no grudge, no grief, no sorrow.
It’s all gone.

Let’s sit in silence with you
Meet the dawn,
And both dissolve,
When it gets light whole.

There’ll be the dawn, and we’ll realize,
There’s no need to lie.
Cause there’s no love, only a plume
Of empty hopes.

And we won’t have to break and tear.
It’s all empty.
There’s no you and me, no us.
It’s just a mope.

You don't like new acid jazz.
It's exotic, non-native flow.
It's like a traveler, dressed for show,
With a silk neckscarf as topaz.

You don't bear the style mixture.
It's like a slapdash of free spheres.
And no need to gather then down the years.
It'll be-all a needless fixture.

You don't accept circumlocutions,
Allegories and hidden meanings.
Quotations, accents and other symbols -
These are unnecessary gleanings.

You know, you're unbearably stubborn
You can't stand any fancy guessing.
You're far from a beauty of word expressing.
Sorry, but you're monotone.

You came to me again,
Quite suddenly and unwanted,
Into my humdrum life,
So chaotic and disheveled.

You tried to tell a lot.
You hurried up, your thoughts were scaped.
You told a lot and sputter
But even so you weren’t lightweigt.

You stood firmly at the window.
You believed in your own myth.
Your fingers nervously tugged the curtains.
I prayed “Go away”, but you didn’t leave.

The sunlight stroked the top of your head.
And you told and told… I knew it was lie.
You looked at me ******* up your eyes
As if I was your longed-for pie.

I was silent. I didn’t break in.
You told, no look somebody else.
I was in pain and I picked out
That you loved not me but only yourself.

I’ve stepped again into my old life.
I know it’s nohow and nowhere.
I lived there, yeah, I was there long.
But I don’t pick out it, however.

I keep in mind my love to you.
I lost myself, chucked wildly and fouly.
My life was ruined and I was nowhere.
I swapped myself for you blindly.

I was cheerful for you and gloomy,
Freaky and as a gold itself.
If you wanted, I could be a dummy.
But I’ve never been just myself.

I always was near, but you didn’t sight of.
I left one day, but you returned.
And I’m here again. Again it’s all here!
And what is needless is simply crossed.

I’m like a kitten, blind and lost,
I’m crawling out at sounds or light.
I’ll hide in this life for now perharps
As if I’m not here for quite.

What do I want? The meaning, I guess.
But only such as can fill me whole,
All my gaps and all my holes.
Yes, I want such meaning, I guess.

What else, you ask me? Freedom, I guess.
Where I won’t be in the grips,
Where the pain won’t throb in my temples.
Yes, I want such freedom, I guess.

What do I dream of? Silence, I guess.
No sounds, no creaks, no rustles at all,
A calm pulse and the air in whole.
Yes, I dream of such silence, I guess.

You bring me back into love.
Wherefore?
I’ve been their long and hard.
I don’t want anymore.

It’s not working out at all.
We don’t grow together.
I want to obey her, I try,
But I can no ever.

I try to resist like mad,
But it’s a dead end.
I argue with her full-time.
I guess I’m negligent.

I’m looking for bogus truth
All the time.
I recognize it’s inanely,
But it’s not crime!

I thing I’ll leave here for long,
On the shore.
I’ll make a fire. I’ll be here to stay.
And no more.

And once again this look… It so attracts and lures!
I’m flowing down to him without fear and will.
I get that I will die and disappear totally,
But even so I’m humbly going there in real.

And once again these lips… My death and passion!
They touch me whole so powerfully and free.
And I’m turning all at once and irreversibly.
From giant iceberg into freshly drawn milk.

And once again these nights… Oh! Where’s my mind?
I feel as if I’m drunk and tightly witched
With magical, sweet, wily poison.
Your hugs, your caresses just robbed my sleep.

And once again I walk without fear.
I know that I will disappear, stand or fall.
But all in spite of mind and out of reason
I’m going there, where I’ll never come back from!

Hello, whom I'll never meet,
Never hear, never forget,
Never loose and never find,
Never spot and never mind.

Hello, who'll turn up in my dreams,
Who'll never let me to taste the pain,
Who'll never betray and never lie,
Who'll never depart without goodbye.

I take leave of you, my unknown one,
My unsearchable and remarked for none,
My unnamed and mythic for last,
But so endlessly and sweetly loved.

Tell me that I’ll pull through,
Or I’m a little bit feel down.
For you it’s just a trifle,
And for me it’ll give a strength crown.

I'll know there's someone believes in me
I'll just hear, that he's somewhere.
Even it’s not true, doesn’t matter.
Tell lies! I really don’t care!

Tell me that I’ll overcome,
That my spirit is really strong.
But don’t pry into my soul.
It’s sealed up with black wax for long.

It shouldn’t be touched soever,
It’s only the time for its rest.
Tell me that I’ll pull through.
Tell me something! I want to be confessed!

I woke up early today.
I woke up close to the sun.
There's an abyss of thoughts in my head,
Those that can't be there. None.

I try not to think. I try to sleep back.
But it's no use! They press for no why.
They press in my temples! They press pack my chest!
Thoughts of those, who scarifies.

I don't know where to run me whole?
Where can I find my peace?
It's my hopelessness... It's my end...
I guess they are my guilt and penance.

Have you ever thought about your life
As it's a strange and unpredictable maze.
And you're just a guest in it, and in fact
It's your happiness to be here at that.

And on your way through it you find a lot of men
Who are of one behaviors and minds as yours.
And literally in a moment you're taking up with them
As they are all immediately and just truly yours.

You see their eyes are full of tenderness and love.
They're all amazing people and they're all your friends.
And you can be with them just as you are.
And you can not to meet unless the crook in maze.

And now you see you're not alone!
Just be yourself and they'll be near.
And now you see you're not forgotten!
Against the odds, you're known and loved right here!

Just be yourself!
Don't think about rules!
You are among your friends!
And make it absolute!

Never, never look back!
All that happened to you is gone.
There’s no need to crucify yourself.
This all is forever gone.

Never try to return it all
That you somehow missed back then.
If it passed you suddenly by,
It’s not yours! Let it go away!

Never regret your past!
It is forever with you!
Bad or good it’s solely yours!
It’s only your skill! Your true!

You now look around!
Look at all nearby.
These’re the ones who believe in you!
This’s what you need the while!

Save yourself for those
Who’s faithful to you in soul.
It’s your great gift! The gift from heaven!
Appreciate them! They’re here in whole!

I’m tired of being your shadow.
Wherever you are, I’m near.
I live at your dictation.
I’m chained by your sight here.

I used to live in silence.
To love, to suffer and no words at all.
If it hurts me, I bear without squirming.
If you only knew, how I want to bawl.

I’ve learned to be not certain,
Unheard, unnoted, noneself.
You see, I can be your shadow.
But I’m tired! I want to be myself!

I’m here again. Yes, I am back.
Forgive me that I came uncalled.
I know we truly missed each other
And all we had is lost a lot.

I have no wish to stir it all up.
I’m not in pain no more. Got used.
We’ve shared memories and then some.
But that is all. Let’s stop abused.

I’m back again not to complain or repent,
And not to blame you. Not at all!
Do you remember, we agreed each other
Though separate but live in spite of all.

So, I am back. You know the reason?
I simply missed one thing at all.
When I was closing the door behind,
I just forgot to take myself in whole.

I thought it would turn out.
I thought the time acted in tune with me.
I thought I was strong.
I thought it would be like a movie.

I know it was my mistake.
I thought it all seemed to me.
I can't believe still
That the fate can so bully me

I’ve known you a long time,
Probably the eviternity.
Now I’m as if in a stupid film,
Trying to roll up the infinity.

Your grimace is clear-cut.
Your taunts are plain.
Your eyes are as if pictured.
You’re near, and they’re far-away.

Your hair is at my finger-tips.
It’s rigid and rough as strings.
Touch them by hand and here's the space.
Your hair’s reminds stings.

Your silence is my kaiken -
A short sword and a precise beat.
You despised me by your muteness.
How familiar is your cheat!

Your firmly closed lips
Are like a mask of tragic jesters.
Do you hear trumpets are playing afar?
A strange love is being buried there.

Let’s try without needless words,
Unnecessary pauses and empty doubts
To finish out fairy tale, titled “Unlove”.
Let’s stop all fights. We have no other outs.

Let’s try without needless tears
To recognize that we're both orphaned.
We’ve been repaid wholly for our Unlove:
Our hearts are faded, our souls're ossified.

Let’s try without needless words
To say the only one and single phrase:
“Forgive me for this poor Unlove!”
It’ll be the rare truth without any haze.

Please, call me to the place where my tomorrow was,
Where all my fears and failures were no where,
Where I laughed much and danced a whole lot,
Where we both were together, you and me, just everywhere!

Please call me to the place where snowfalls
Entirely reign in winter, and frost is.
Where rains and leaf-falls are in autumn fully
And wrap with spicy odour all as coverlid.

Please Call me to the place where I was loved!
And where I loved wholeheartedly, without “May not!” at all!
Please call me to the place where I was free!
I beg you, call me to my place! It's not for all

I blend with the crowd of those resembling,
Torn, abandoned, empty and waste,
Meek and faded, walking with bows,
Forgotten the hand warmth, the others, unfaced.

The others, who’ve lost both faith and nerves,
The others, who’ve learnt a cruel lesson,
The others, walled up to the full limit,
The others, whose souls are wholly lessened.

I’ll walk up to you, barely soft-footed
At the back…
Don’t turn round! I beg you! Don’t move!
For God’s sake!

I’ll nuzzle my wet forehead
Into your back.
I’ll put my hands on your shoulders.
They’ll press pack.

I’ll stick to you all over!
With whole body!
Even if they’re down on me and think,
It’s *****.

I love you greedily, endlessly! Whole,
Not half!
Asking nothing instead, recklessly ruining
Myself!

There was so much I wanted to say to you,
But I didn’t make it.
Like a beast at bay I was in a hurry
And eager to thataway.
I thought: “I’ll achieve my goals and dreams
That I need and then
Everything will go and run, and fly,
In a right way.”

It seemed to me that my story
Will surely happen.
And I exchanged myself recklessly
For nothing important at all.
I never imagined that my life
Would be depopulated,
And what’s left of it will turn into
A paper ******* in whole.

I’ve got to gather it all by any means, really.
I must have foolishly outdone my fate all over.
And you… Sorry, I will be honest with you, my dear:
There was so much to say to you, but I thought over.

I dreamt of our house, which doesn't exist...
I'll light a candle in it and greet the dawn.
I'll feel sad by candlelight. I'll be missed.
I want you'll be near me in our house for long!

I'll walk into the garden, which doesn't exist...
I'll pick white camomiles and make a bunch.
I'll put it on the table. It'll be my feast.
Just fly into my dream! I please you much!

We'll stroll in a forest, which doesn't exist...
I'll mass there an armfull of autumn leaves.
I'll throw them into the sky. They'll be a mist.
And they'll be falling slowly under the breeze.

I dreamt of our house.  And maybe is it?
It's somewhere over the hill, green all.
The garden is so very overgrown. I'll revive it.
I'll light the candle for you to come for all.

Everything’s broken, shattered,
Scattered completely asunder.
And I’m left as a steppe mat grass.
Only crows go round and thunder.

Only crows go round, and their wings
Chase out my reckless life.
I should run after her, but I’m beat.
I can’t catch up with her. I’m lowlife.

I’m lowlife. I can’t hand her back.
I would apologise! I'd confess!
Everything went amiss with us.
It’s a shame that we'll get no chance.

And she just wanted a little sunshine
Among this obscence malodorous mud.
She just wanted to hide in sun rays
From this dirtiness, from this crud.

And she just wanted to be joyful.
She wanted to laugh but not in hysterics,
That rippling laughter would wink with a smile.
She wanted a gladness, and no mysteries.

She also wanted a lot of snow,
So white, so huge, with snow banks!
But you found nothing better than damage all!
Aren’t you people? There’s nothing sacred!

And she just wanted a little happiness.
You were so stingy, and she would have shared.
She didn’t have grunge for you, she didn’t have meanness…
At the beginning… Look, what you’ve achieved that!  

Look, what you’ve turned the angel into.
She walks without the sun through the mud.
She’s lost, but she isn’t humiliated.
Why have you done all that to her, my God?!

All that she wanted was little sunshine,
A little warmth and simple happiness.
And you thought that it was ****** and silly.
You tore her soul to pieces! You’re merciless!

Torn to shreads, appalled and pained,
She still walks because she’s alive.
And you keep on spill all with mud,
Without seeing her, burn up and deprive.

And what’s then? What’s left?
Maybe the faith that the day'll beep,
That day when the sun pushs cheekily
To windows, disturbing sleep.

That day when there’s no sadness,
When everything’s clear and plain!
That day when the soul is married
To happiness, sprayed with rain.

That day when all the trumpets around
Struck the march, bravura and blessed!
That day when I live the whole time
Just live without any dread.

Love for me is a gift,
Heaven bestowed.
It’s a rushing waterfall,
The amazing desired award.

Love for me is happiness,
Which is forever appeased.
And if you get it suddenly,
Please, don’t ever miss it.

Love for me is an evening,
Where candles are burning and nobody…
You’re gently stroking my hand and whispering
Something solely for me.

Love for me is the world,
Where’re both of us - me and you!
My photo is in your phone screen.
My darling, how I love you!

Hold off on your verdict for her now.
Put by your own condemnations.
You never lived behind the wall
In the grip of grievous self-abnegations.

In the morning, while opening eyes,
She destroys and despises herself in whole!
She hates herself! She abhors the world,
Which she has made by herself alone.

She wants everything would disappeared,
Evaporated as though it's never been
So that there's nothing left around,
Nothing reminded of her as she's been.

And she would start with a blank sheet.
Forgiven, redeemed and clearly blameless,
Hold off on your verdict for her now,
For her, who leans over ruins.

I so want to get lost at all,
That no one would find my way.
Just vanish, dissolve, disappear,
That even my waft would fade away.

I'm ready to drop off the radar,
Like a loan garden, without a trace.
So that only a withered echo
Of my existence will reach ears.

The echo will fade, the memory'll cancel
And all will sink into a life sand.
But if I suddenly fail, if I couldn't,
I beg you, don't find me, at no hand.