I like her a lot
Maybe even enough to call it love.
I can't fix her past
I can't guarantee her future.
All I can promise is today
Here and now.
I can't swear to her shell never cry
Only that it won't be by my hand.
I can't swear that everything will be ok.
It won't be.
All I can swear is that I'll be there
Ready to protect her and comfort her
Whenever she needs it.
If I could give it all to her, I would
But I can't.
All I have to offer
Is my love and friendship.

Sometimes it's a blessing, others a curse. Sometimes anywhere and everywhere in between. They can be the most comforting things or the most venomous. Sometimes good thoughts get interrupted by the bad and drag me down, but yet others still will pull me out of my own darkness.

Others are questions, whom, if I ever find the answer to, will just create more questions for me to answer. It's like roulette. You got a 50-50 shot. You could either bet it all on one go and come up big or you could lose it all. On the other hand you could bet in small increments, never winning to much, but then again, not losing to much.

How much are you willing to risk in an effort to gain?

My heart
Like any other muscle
Will rebuild itself
So it is stronger
And harder than it was
Before it broke.

I just pray
That my own heart
Does not become so strong
Because if it does
It will be
Like a heart of freezing stone.

I dont know anymore,
I'm spending too much time
Staring off into the great beyond
Beyond these four walls
Beyond these bounds in my mind
Hands tied, mouth gagged.

Are you made?
I'm not angry or mad.
Then what are you?
I dont know.

I've always asked for the truth
And I'll return nothing but the same.
So honey, please, give me just this moment,
Just this second of respite.

Take all the time you need
To figure things out.

Pardon me sweetheart,
I don't mean for you to rush,
Please take your time
And use it to its fullest.

I wish I would take
my own ******* advice,

If only I could hear myself speak,
But these voices in my head
Are screaming.

God, please, honey save me
Friend please don't let this
Be the quiet bang
That we go out with.

Because while your time is spent
Shaping your mind
And your future,
I've started talking to these
******* walls, surely they
Are friendlier than those
That speak inside my head.

Save me please
Before I melt away
With these voices
That surround me
All the time.

Farewell good friend
at least I'd like to say.

Your time is here
and I've just come.

I wish I'd known you better
so I could say a proper goodbye.

The stories I've heard
your joys i've missed

how I wish I'd been there
to share those times with you.

Farewell best friend
or so I'd  like to say.

When I said I would take a bullet for you

I didn't think you would be pulling the trigger.

Everyone tells me I can do better.
But what can be better than perfect?
For she was exactly that.

I crave not the one that takes my breath away
Instead, give me the one that makes me forget to breath

Not being able to give even 1% because you have 100% for just a moment too long...

Bite into an apple
It tastes like am orange should
This is confusion.

As I sit here
Pondering a box of candy hearts
I wonder  
If my words
Have lain upon your heart like such

My mind is at war with itself.
Neither side willing to give an inch to the other.

"It's like 2 sides
Of the same coin"

Is that what you think?
Is that what you say?

Well flip that **** coin already,
Tell me how this all plays out.
Take me from this constant hell.

Oh look, it's landed on its edge.
Balancing precariously in the middle, just like me.

Now tuck me back into bed,
I guess I'll just sleep forever  
In this haunting nightmare.

I'm cold
I'm empty
It feels as though
there's nothing left inside
these broken bones of mine.

When you said we needed to slow things down
I didn't think that meant you'd leave me here, frozen in time.

My dear, we've both hit rock by before
Smashed, crashed, and burned
But now take my hand
We'll let the wind hit our wings
And now we'll take flight
Let's fly away
And find our own little world.

Dark as night it washes over me.
The waves as dark as those of the Styx.
My Achilles heel has become my whole body.
I shall save two obols for Charon
For every step I feel may be my last.

Two people could never have been more in love than the two of us. A spark at first glance, suddenly roaring as a huge fire. At every moment we'd tell the other how much we loved them and how we wish they'd never leave. Two hearts and two minds, completely intertwined. But now it feels different. The light in your eyes has gone. My smile wiped from your mind. Is this what love is? A flurry of passion then nothing? I thought love was to be shared, nurtured over time, a never ending passion. As I lay here seemingly forgotten, in endless confusion, It seems "love" is just a syllable, it's meaning lost to history and its intent ignored in the doldrum of life. It is why I now ask: Do you even remember my name?

When she's at her best, so am I.
When he rocks the world, I'm right by his side.
When they strike just the right chord, I'm there strumming along.
When she is under the weather, my umbrella tries to cover us both.
When her smile fades, my smile is wiped blank too.

However one fear remains. In the chaos of empathy, when I am laid bare, am I still I?
Or have I become all the he's, she's, they, and thems that I appear to mimic.

Am I still I? Or is I like my shadow? Something that only exists because of another?

You've got a heart of gold
    You must be an angel
       Well, you see dear
        Gravity still exists
                  And this
                    Angel
                         Is
                         •
                         •
                         •
                         •
                         •
                         •
                         •
                         •
                    Falling

Fire

So many people say lighting fires makes them calm or feel better even.

Why?

Because fire is destructive and in those moments we have created this mass of heat and ash that could take down our neighborhoods if we tipped over the pit... yet we have taken control of it. This monstrous snake that eats away at all in its path is under our thumbs. We decided how large it grows. We tell it when to stop. I think people love playing with fire so much because we cannot control our own fires in our lives. The things that eat away at us day after day are escaping from our grasp. They become the orange and red seas that flood our hearts and spill out onto our wrists.

Harmless campfires satisfy our thirst to overcome the hellish pits of our minds.

- Yacinia Agosto
- 10/13/16

If somebody must suffer
Oh then please let it be me
I'll walk in solemn darkness
Just to give you light.

I've faced my demons
And I'll face yours just the same
I'll dance with them
As I did my own
I've danced with the devil
For nights unending.

Give me your pain
And free yourself
Surely I
Can take the burden
After all I may just be human
But sometimes
That's just the best **** thing to be.

Little lady,
would you like to borrow mine?
So you could see like I do,
Clear as the summer sky,
All your beauty,
All your grace,
All those smiles,
That belong on your face.

Little lady, little lady,
Try my glasses on for size.

There so much I want to say to my dear old friend...
But I doubt I could even manage to hold my pen in my hands...

Lately I've had a weird heart beat
The doctors are concerned
I tell them to take it easy
This is normal
My heart will naturally skip a beat
When I am thinking of you

This morning I thought
I had found the girl of my dreams.
And then I woke up.

I'm frightened
I'm terrified
I'm absolutely unnerved.
Every moment
Every next heartbeat
I stand here
Clenching my phone.
Waiting for that next message back from you

Because that means you're still alive. And for a second I can breath.

How are you?
I never thought this **** question would be so difficult.

I'm fine, I tell you
As I quickly try to
Change the subject.
.... I always asked you to tell me the truth about how you felt, but I just don't want to cause a problem.

I'm really not fine I say,
I'm really not ok
As I try not to be too blunt.

I want to tell you the truth
No matter what happens.
..... You always told me the truth
About how you felt,
But I just don't want to be the problem.

How are you?
I never thought that question would bring tears to my eyes.

Whoever said
"The truth will set you free"
Is a ******* fool.

How hard can it be? Poetry can break the normal rules, or follow them just the same, or even yet write its own rules. There is no teacher breathing down my neck, holding my grade in a vice. Nobody is forcing me to write these poems, yet I feel compelled to create them.

Ive got so many words to describe just what I want, but somehow none sound right.

I know just what I want to say and who to say it to, but I can't confront these demons.

How can I have all the right words, but put them together all wrong?

Humans are truly pitiful things
We are born weak
We are born with nothing
Yet we desire everything
Especially those things that we can not have
But we do not have a care for one another
The happiness of those that surround us is never given a second thought
Yet there are some who break the mold
Who utterly shatter any precepts of what a human being is
And should be
And ever could become
There are those of us that say **** the rules
There are those of that have forever heard the phrase "life isn't fair" and are sick and ******* tired of it, those of us who are working to make that statement a relic of history
Those of use who place others happiness on the forefront of our mind before even our own
Those of us who forget ourselves in order to keep another from losing them self.
There are those of us that say ***** the rules and live by our own motto
Those of us who kick hatreds *** in an attempt to give every single person in the world the one thing that everyone deserves
The one thing that everyone is entitled to:
Happiness.

As human beings
We have the potential
To do anything we set our minds to
Except for this moment in time
I feel as if the odds are stacked just slightly too high against me
As though sheer force of will just won't cut it this time
As much as I hate to think this way I fear it might be true

I say I love you

And you say you love me too.

But do you know what I mean?
What I truly mean each time I say that I love you?

My dear every day I discover something new about you that makes me fall in love with you all over again. These things shall never pass from my mind for they are my true ideal of my true love.
The way you smile, so genuinely at me and hug me so tight as if to say you're never letting go, when I help you be confident.
The way you realize that I can't always be the strong one and the way you make me even stronger by being my strength in my toughest times.
The way we laugh off all the questioning eyes and pointing fingers and instead find ourselves held in close company in each other's eyes.

Because, my dear, sweetheart I mean all this and more when I say I love you and those words ring more true with each passing second.
This is why you're not only my girlfriend, but my forever and always, and I shall love you every moment of my life

Forever and Always...

When I told you I loved you, I meant it. When you told me the same I believed that it was true. But it seems that wasn't quite so. Did you really mean it? Or was it a fleeting feeling that you couldn't be bothered to chase?

You're perfect,
        She said.

And I felt myself crumble
        Because I knew I was not so

You are perfect,
        She repeated.

Perfect for me,
        You are everything I could ever want.

And I felt myself
        Become whole again.

Shall I compare thee to a summers day?
     I think not, for the day's end soon approaches as does Summer's demise.
     Shall I compare them to a sparkling diamond?
     Again, I think not, for many diamonds are cut apart to gain their beauty.
     Shall I compare thee to a crescendo of song, reaching its peak?
     Still, I think not, for each and every note may yet still go sour.
     While some may profess these things as perfection, you are indeed perfection in my eyes.
     Now and forever.

To those hidden under blankets, huddled close to their lovers:
     There are some among us who are wrapped in blankets of our own tears.

To those who purse their lips in a smile as soft melodies floating through the air lull you to sleep:
     There are those of us who write sleepless lullabies on our arms with the sharp embrace of the blade, our only comfort.

Love is the thing that can bring you back from your lowest of lows.
Unfortunately, the loss of it is often the thing that puts you at your lowest.

Who was your ******* rock? The one you relied on when others relied on you? I was the keystone who kept you together and kept the others together unbeknownst to them. I was the bandage sealing the wound from the bacteria of the world, from the ill thoughts and mean-spirited things of the world. I was your ******* crutch that supported you and helped you stand upright in this world. But just like a crutch, like a bandage, I was discarded once the problem was summarily handled. I hope you bleed out next time.

I wonder if she knows
that now when I smile
that tears cascade down my eyes
because when I am smiling
I begin to remember
all of the memories
of the times when she
pulled me back
from the depths of my own mind
and brought a smile to my face

Loneliness is the pill you forgot you swallowed.

Tasteless and formless
Moment by moment
It chokes me to death.

Love is blind
But I am not
And now I
Must watch you
Fall in love
With someone else.

When I find the girl of my dreams
She needn't be gallant not supreme.
Neither must she be
Pristine and part of the scene.
She does not have to be
Just like me.

My dream girl might be many things, with many traits ascribed to her,
But I only need her
To be one very special thing.

Mine, for now and forever.

To hear my name uttered from your lips
Is like the sirens song
A thing of utter beauty
That leaves me perilously dashed upon the rocks