They say grief comes in waves
varying in size and intensity;
some start small, moving silently,
might seem harmless but engulf
me within no time and I
was never taught how to swim.

Thrashing and flailing in the water
I find it difficult to breathe.
The seas of sadness pull me far
into their abyss where there is no
light or hope to get out of the misery;
sometimes even that feels enticing and comforting.

On other days these waves come
roaring loud in the ears, threatening
to steal my ground away from me, often
I brave to surf over them with the
help of distractions and they
recede, scheming to gulp me down later.

Wonder how I end up on these shores every time
while on a train or on my bed, in a
classroom or in a conference hall, amongst
the crowded streets and when alone,
memories of yesterday strewn like sea shells
lead me to the waters and I can always hear their elegies.

And when the moon shines its brightest
on them, you get to see the scene of tranquillity
but deep inside my heart there is
a storm brewing slowly that takes
various names every season, maybe there is
one named after you too, who knows.

Do you want to come with me down
to the ocean of tears? We could let
those waves kiss our feet while we watch
the sunset together, I will tell you
all my stories and you could share yours too.
I hope you know how to swim.

it will be a busy day
again and I will come to
see you when I'm done
chasing after my dreams

I will feel guilty and
rehearse my apologies for
not letting you know that
I will be late today too

trudging down the streets
I will recall all the things
that I want you to hear
before anyone else does

right at the corner my feet
will turn to lead and a
fear will clutch my heart
"is this all you've got?"

I will have to keep moving
away from it but the distance
between the doubt and me never
seems to reduce in this lifetime

then in a daze I will
unlock the door to find you
in your favourite chair
looking out the window

it is here that my shoulders
will feel light and a smile will
spread on my lips, all of my
chaos will meet your calm

there will be worry in your
voice and anger in your eyes
I will be about to say sorry
and you will order me to come closer

I will walk straight into your
arms, close my eyes and whisper
the tenth sorry of the week,
you will simply heave a sigh

up in the sky as the sun sets,
bright orange will kiss the blue
and I will once more forget the
world outside when I'm with you.

It's never too lonely here
with a soul which has
a thirst that even the
oceans can't quench,

with a heart that holds
secrets dark and deep
where roots of the oldest
trees too can't reach,

with twinkling eyes that
dream the biggest of dreams
which even the shiniest
stars can't match.

It's never too lonely here
while I take this journey
inward, beyond walls and
boundaries to seek myself,

there's a light inside
you and me, so radiant
and warm, take its
hand and follow it,

ask it all the questions
you've always had and
the day you realise the
answers are within you
is when you too will say -
it's never too lonely here.

here you are
farther to my touch,
closer to my heart;
bridging gaps between
my heady desires and,
sanity and sensibility.

here I am
lost in your thoughts
and words,
dreaming about a hundred
springs and summers
that await us.

here you are
looking into my eyes
asking questions and
seeking answers; listening
intently to all the quiet
sighs and loud silences.

here I am
showing you the way
around and letting you
through the walls I've
built  without fears or
inhibitions of any sort.

here we are
brought together by
the distance but aren't
sure of treading the
paths we've never
been on before.

here we are
writing happy little
stories in sand until
the impending wave of
doom and despair crashes
into the castles of our future.

and here we will be
hiding behind
those tiniest of smiles
that keep lingering on
our lips which have always
reluctantly said goodbye.

These days ‘I love you’ sounds different.
It hides in the good morning texts with
a sleepy smile and asks me to eat on time.

It holds my hand tightly when
I am nervous and shaking, to
tell me that I am bigger than my fears.

There it lurks behind all those
times when my feelings and thoughts are
understood and acknowledged without judgement.

It remembers the biggest of my worries,
celebrates the smallest of my wins too
and is with me in every prayer offered in my name.

Through all the pain and sadness, it wipes my
tears promptly and lets me know that I am not
alone and that we will go through this together.

It disguises as another three words I
need to hear whenever my spirits are low
and whispers in a firm voice, “you are enough!”

To me that wasn’t so apparent.
So it comes again in the noon and leaves
a reminder to drink some water soon.

It breathes life into the countless promises
made to stand by me no matter what and
daily mentions without fail that I’m not naught.

Then it suddenly takes me into its arms and
like the mighty sun on a chilly winter day, spreads
the kind of warmth that I have always craved for.

It walks next to me, slowly, like my shadow
and says I have to believe in myself more
than anything else, even when there is no hope.

Time and again it surfaces in the form of
honesty and truth, builds trust and confidence
between us and holds our world from falling apart.

It sits in front of me and apologises for everything
done wrong, works on what could have been right
and strives to be better with every passing day.

These days ‘I love you’ sounds different.
Everyday it returns home in the night
and chides me to go to bed early.

It will always be more than just those three
words and from now on, I will pay attention
and show how grateful I am that it exists.

Here is my heart, shrouded in thick

cloaks and fortified behind tall walls.

It now sleeps in the lap of darkness

snug and sheltered from the unknown.

The palace of ice is its home and

everything around it is frozen, damp, impenetrable.

Not even the warmest sunshine could get

this far and deep into the realm of murky waters.

The muscles have hardened with age, the blood

barely makes it in and out of the doors.

As brittle as glass it had become, afraid

that it will shatter into pieces in someone's hands.

Never leave this place, it kept chanting these

words for years now, content with the cold.

But did it really want to stay here all its life

fearing and shunning everything outside its cavern?



Here you are, explorer of the distant worlds and

seeker of treasures that are worth more than gold.

Your strange maps have somehow revealed my

whereabouts that were kept secret all this while.

What made you take this path, I wonder, you

could've gone anywhere but you chose this route.

Thrice you knocked on my doors;

I was almost there, ready to unbolt and unlock.

Wait, said the heart, don't let that person in;

what if they hurt me, we don't want that now, do we?

But you stood there waiting for me to open up,

chiseling sculptures out of the ice to amuse yourself.

Little chinks were now forming in the walls;

at last, your perseverance has amazed me.

Maybe it would do no harm to peep out for a second,

I said to the heart, but was I really sure?



Here we are, standing on either side of the cracks,

fumbling to strike a conversation.

The heart raced around at full speed, no amount

of constant reassurance could calm it down.

It was then I heard you telling me stories about the places

you've gone to and the memories you made there.

Your voice thawed my heart, the blood rushed in it

and started making music inside me.

I sat down listening and the sun started to sink,

orange, red, pink, purple, the heart stared at the sky.

You taught it how to laugh, how to cry, how to

get hurt, how to heal, how to forgive and how to love.

The heart never felt so exposed yet safe, timid

yet composed, vulnerable yet at peace with itself.

Now when it opens the windows to breathe in some

fresh air, I ask it - since when did you get so brave?

Of parallel lines that would never converge.

You and I were just the same,
running around the world chasing our dreams,
weaving colourful dramas out of
our mundane monochrome lives.

You and I were just the same,
building bridges made of thoughts to reach out
to each other whenever words fell short
and spoke often with our eyes.

You and I were just the same,
treading on the same plane carrying each
others burden and revelling in each others
happiness though our paths were never alike.

You and I are still just the same,
or maybe that's what I like to think so
we only chose to move ahead in
different directions now.

You and I will always be just the same
we sure will change with time and age but deep
inside me a part of you lives and
in you I shall continue to exist.

You and I belong to the same old story,
only now writing different versions of it in our heads,
and living the tale
of parallel lines that would never converge.

There are several people who have always belonged with me,
which ones do really know who I am?

There are multiple universes hidden inside of me,
which ones could you explore?

There are a hundred different layers cloaked beneath my skin,
which ones are you aware of?

There are many masks that I use daily to conceal,
which ones did you see me wearing?

There are a lot of high walls surrounding my heart every moment,
which ones did I let you breakthrough?

There are numerous stories stashed up in my head,
which ones did I tell you about last night?

If the papers lying on my desk
had a voice, they would ask me
why don’t I write anymore.
They would ask for more stories
about us that I kept telling them
for years, we are their favourites.
I first started writing when you
came in with a smile and
filled my heart with your warmth.
One day you’ve left me grieving in
this cold, dark place and I thought
may be I could write for one last time.
Tears stained the papers instead of
ink, but they didn’t understand
this new language I wrote in.
Those papers are just lying there,
I never write again after
wiping the last tear off my face.
May be they do have a voice and
want to know what made me
stop writing, but I can’t hear them now.

Under the moonlit sky
while you were passing by,
I think I saw you smile,
after a long while.
Or was it a grimace
that lingered on your face?
You know you can't hide
even if you tried.
But to uncover your mask
is such a difficult task.
How will I ever know
when you never show?

Time seemed to slip away from me, until
I saw you again, and everything came to a standstill.
Your eyes were the ones that have lit the flame,
since then nothing has ever been the same.
It warms me up like the Winter sun's rays,
and shall never die down, this fire that you have set ablaze.

You read and write them, the words,
but I say they are more capable than that.
I hear them talk to me while my eyes touch them, their voices clear and loud.
Some are only whispers and some others are yelling, crying and shouting in joy.
They not only tell me the stories of the world,
but show me too its beauty.
Yesterday I saw how vibrant were the Daffodils Wordsworth has written about.
The same words carried the fresh smell of the rain until my doorstep on a hot summer day.
I shuddered when the thunder rumbled and smiled when someone joked.
A tear or two must have rolled out when a character had fought valiantly but died.
These words for me have created a new place,
and I desire to go to places to find new words.
I came to think it should have been a difficult time when the words were not yet born.
How else could one speak of the sea without comparing it to that of the depth of our hearts.
For these words are my sole weapon to not escape reality but to build a space for the feelings to breath and the dreams to thrive.

There are stories untold,
and some are yet to unfold.

We make promises to live by,
and a few memories that never die.

Surely, our paths were meant to cross,
And the time we spent wasn't a loss.

We build the sand castles on the beach,
and soon the sea takes it away from our reach.

Then you might get upset, lose hope and cry,
or smile and give it another try.

If not, don't let me find you regretting and fretting,
because sometimes we survive by forgetting.

I asked for the truth,
but couldn't bear it
when it was standing
right in front of me.

I thought it was a
dream, but when I
woke up it all seemed
to be so real to me.

What if it isn't the
truth? And what if
this was really just
another dream?

You built a castle of glass around your heart,
to keep it safe from getting hurt.
You went on searching for comfort, but in vain,
the walls cracked and are now falling apart.
You weren't willing to let go of it when the
monsoon brought in the rain and the gloom.
You still didn't leave the place when
it got too cold in the winters.
You thought you could repair it, picking up
the pieces when the dust settled on the floor.
And then the sunlight poured in through those
cracks, filling the rooms with bright light.
You saw hope in that light, found your happiness
in that warmth and got a chance to step out of the dark.
My love, for it  is these cracks and scars that
make your heart strong and brave, not the castles.

I ran out of words now
to tell you how lonely I feel.
You chose not to listen to me
well, I thought, so let it be.
I wonder why am I still
writing this about you.
You might not know how
much I care for you.
I promised myself that I wouldn't
break over what wasn't meant to be.
You said you wouldn't
bother me at all ever.
I told you that I won't talk
to you again, never.
You left without giving me
a chance to speak to you.
I sat there silently listening to your
footsteps as you walked away.
You will someday learn that this
silence has been broken by a new voice.
I will get over you then, sooner or
later, but yes, will find my words, again.
You should know this while I put an
end to it, I can forgive, but not forget you.

None of us are hard to define, really.
Complex, arrogant, head strong,
are just the tags that we gave ourselves.

None of us are difficult to understand, really.
Secretive, cryptic, reserved,
are just the ways we chose to be.

None of us are any different here, really.
Short, tall, dark, fair, ugly, beautiful,
are just mere words I would say.

None of us are entirely alike, really.
Not even the twin children I suppose,
but the love we all share is just the same.

None of us are identical to each other, really.
Contrasting ideals and opinions are always there,
but the tears we all shed are just the same.

None of us were meant to be clones, really.
This doesn't mean we discriminate and differentiate,
after all, the happiness we all experience is just the same.

Every day, every night,
I wonder if I'm any right.
Every time I think about you,
the world around me seems to be new.
I've been breathing all these years,
not knowing your sweet fragrance in the air.
Your presence is the only thing
that brightens up my day.
And now here I lay,
with a fear of losing you,
when you are not even mine.

I could have told you the things
I've always wanted to tell.
Not that I'm scared to speak, it's just
your answer that doesn't let me sleep.
Because I have a fear of losing you,
when I know that you're not even mine.

Funny isn't it, when you like something but you can’t accept it.
Accept the fact that you really, really like it.
Is it possible at all, to like something, rather someone and hide it
deep down in your heart so that no one can see what’s going on?
Is it possible to pretend like nothing has ever happened?
To be all normal with that storm inside your head?
Can’t let it go now, can you? Neither can you hold on to it tight.
The others say that it’s not good for you, but what do they know,
I've already made some space in my heart for that special thing,
or should I say for that special one. I still am not sure.
You see that, I’m trying to put up an act that will make you think,
I’m perfectly alright; ask me if I’m okay, and I’d simply say,
“Never been better!”, pretend as if nothing has ever happened.
And how would you know if I've never told you anything,
ask me why and I’d tell you the truth that I’m scared.
Scared whether that little part of my heart would crash into pieces
and will never be able to heal from all that pain.
So, the only way that seems the best for me and for everyone around me
is, to hide all those feelings and smile like a good girl,
as for that storm, I’m sure it will subside, sooner or later.
Dearest special one, you are better off in one tiny cozy
place in my heart, be safe, don’t meddle with anything.
Love,
Someone who’s pretending that they don’t like you.

Let me rest my head on your strong shoulders.
Let me fall asleep in your arms.
Let me get lost in your blue eyes.
Let me hug to listen to the way your heart beats.
Let me slowly kiss your tender lips.
Let me come home to you, everyday, for the rest of our lives.

His eyes were searching for her’s,
his words waited for her to speak,
his smile blossomed to being on seeing her smile,
his thoughts were always with her,
his breath too changed when she was around,
his skin longed for her touch and her warmth,
his dreams were filled with everything about her,
his love for her was simple, yet strong,
his life depended on her happiness, he said,
his happiness is her life she said.

We sat under the tree in our garden, reading books.
You gazed at the sky and pointed out shapes in the clouds,
We sang the good old songs out loud near the fireplace,
You watered the plants today and asked me to rest for a while,
We cooked dinner together after playing your favourite game,
You spent the night reading Shakespeare to me and said you loved me,
We laughed on my silly jokes and I fell asleep in your arms,
This morning I realized that it was only a dream after all.

She gave love a fair chance,
he took it for granted.
She believed in every word he said,
he lied to her all along.
She promised to stay with him,
he left her saying it's over.
She didn't know how to react,
he couldn't care less now.
She told herself to be strong,
he belonged to her past.
She stood firm, shining in the dark like a lighthouse,
he was just a boat that passed by.

It's hard to forget about you, I know,
but I did try to leave it all behind.
I waited for you, I still do, yes, that's the
truth, for you to say something.
You've gone too far away from me,
beyond my reach, do you even recognize me?
Your eyes said goodbye, your lips didn't
move, we never met since then.
Just when I was thinking this is the end,
I read your name somewhere.
My heart raced, I could hear it beating,
the colour flooded to my cheeks and I smiled.
Answer this little question, will you?
This is the way you effect me, till date
no matter what, how is it possible?
If after ten years I see you down the street,
my heart will probably skip a beat.

When I see the moon shining,
bright in the night sky,
I think of you.
When I smell the fragrances,
of sweet roses and jasmines,
I think of you.
When I listen to the silver voices,
singing the melodies of love,
I think of you.
When I touch the velvet,
of the satin and the silks,
I think of you.
When I taste the honey,
fresh from the woods,
I think of you.

You may leave at some point.
But your memories, they won't.
I may say goodbye.
But my love, it can't.

Make every wrong right.
Keep those doubts out of sight.

In your smile, I
found my happiness.
In your tears, I
found my sorrow.

In your eyes, I
found my love.
In your love, I
found myself.

She is my best friend
because she was there
when everyone else left.
She is my best friend
because she told me
the truth even if it hurt
She is my best friend
because she corrected me
when I was wrong.
She is my best friend
because she stood by my side
through thick and thin.
She is my best friend
because she never complained
about my endless drama.
She is my best friend
because she understood my
words, and silence too.
She is my best friend
because she never let me
fail, even in exams.
She is my best friend
because she was always
there to hold my back.
She is my best friend
because she listened to me
when I needed someone to.
She is my best friend
because she fought with me
but never abandoned me.
She is my best friend
because she was the one who wiped
my tears and made me smile.
She is my best friend
because she explained me
the ways of the world.
She is my best friend
because she is the first person I would
think of for almost everything.
She is my best friend
because she believed in me
when I didn't believe in myself.
She is my best friend
because she says best friends don't
have to find reasons to be best friends.