Heartache.
It's more than an evening or weekend
Of ice cream and fine chocolate,
When listening to love songs,
Or watching rom coms on the couch
In jammies--

It's in all those nights of crying
While clutching at your pillow,
Begging for some semblance of solace.

It's in waking walking wandering wondering.
While looking down at your chest,
In every other even odd moment of consciousness
To check if the hole in your heart
Is finally visible from the outside.

It's that deep breath inhaled;
To counter the effects of the memories he gave,
That enables you to breathe again,
And the rapid blinking that keeps your eyes dry--
For just a little longer...

It's in re-building that wall.
Remember the wall? The one you tore down
To let him in?
Only, it's a shade darker than the last time.

Heartache is that deep, bottomless
Feeling of drowning
In misery and rejection
From the one person
You singled out from the crowd.
It's that overwhelming feeling of claustrophobia;
Which tells you,
'If you're not with him,
You'll go celibate!'

It's that ghost of a kiss,
That threatens to be the death of you;
It haunts your lips in your pale reality.
It's that hollow heart
That longs for his warmth, his arms
Those dreams of his beating heart next to yours;
Helping you regenerate
Only to be broken with sunrise, in emptiness.
When those unforgiving rays heat up everything,
But you're still freezing...

It's that poisoned apple you ate;
It runs in your veins.
Refusing to be digested,
Causing that overbearing chronic ache
That makes you want to scream out
In pure agony--
Making you wish,
*'If only he stayed!'

Because it's the only way
to find some release...
to write down the words...

Life is simple,
but the human mind,
our heart
and our hormones (usually raging)
make it seem complex
and confusing.

And this society we have built for ourselves?
To help us progress...
It doesn't help either.
It merely adds another variable
to the logarithm called life
we're already breaking our heads on.

Writing poems,
penning down your thoughts
or even just labelling your confusion
by giving them words...
it's all writing,
it all means 'to create something'.
Depending on what one wishes to create,
they write a poem or a passage or an essay or prose,
or even a book.
It's an individual's choice.
It's that person's choice.

The words come.
Even we writers do not know where they come from,
but they do.

And when they do, we write. On paper or tissues or newspapers or any means available to us, like desperate beings, finding an outlet, we write...

People write about a lot of things,
feelings,
things they're attached to,
about people as well,
when the only way they can bear the words to flow is rhythmic,
maybe because if those intense words came out raw,
they'd devour the speaker
or the speaker would eat them up.

It's confusing even to us...why do we write?

Just remember,
if you've ever been a muse in someone's work
(be it a poem or prose or a song
or a photograph or a drawn/painted picture),
know that you've been adored and cherished
and you've touched that person's life
and left an imprint.
One he or she wants to immortalize
in the one way they know how to.

Do not take that lightly.

*Words mean something to us writers
and blank pages make us ache,
and even we don't know why that is...

Writhing on the ground,
Battling for every breath;
She cried for the end:
But in vain, it wasn't yet time for death.

She sat outside in the blackness,
Begging for some flame;
Scared of the dark, she screamed:
But in vain, no comfort ever came.

She felt her fingers tremble in the cold,
And pleaded for some heat;
She gasped, as frost froze her to ice:
But in vain, her heart just ceased to beat.

She came here alone,
And that's how she left;
She cried for someone to save her:
But in vain, she lost her innocence to theft.

She never knew of hatred,
Still, in ignorance, it's what she felt;
She never knew of forgiveness,
But with the relief of death, all her fury began to melt.

She felt her end approaching,
Before it came at the break of dawn;
She stretched towards the rising sun,
And without another sound, she was gone.

I'm a steamroller on a highway,
Unstoppable, and gripped by craze.

'Get out of my way! I'm coming through!'
My vision's blurred, I'm trapped in a haze.

I swerve to the left, then swerve to the right.
Through the windshield, I see the moonlight;

Bright and shining; shining, bright,
Everything is coherent in that bright light.

The bang shocks the ride, and the glass shatters;
It's that rare moment of clarity...

The weeping bark is my destiny,
And I swerve again to meet the tree.

I've broken through my shell,
And I stand exposed.

So this is how the levee breaks...
I can hear the river barging as it explodes.

My crystal barricade has been breached.
There's no escape, there's no defense.

The night's conspiracy is in fruitition.
And I rest my case, cease pretense.

The moonlight was a gentle kiss,
On this night, it wasn't alone...

You were the target I was destined to miss;
I'd lost the mortgage for my time loan.

--

My number was up, I was your slave
Funny how that worked out

On saving you,
My core reactor burned out.

The little boy in the moonlight
Was the reason for my demise.

Were you my personal demon?
Or my salvation, my prize?

--

You devoured me, I worshipped you.
Then up you got, and there you left.

Guess you were my demon then...
You abandoned me, bereft.

I sat alone and aloof
A Book in hand
And words in mind,
Leaving my reality behind.

He came from nowhere,
Nowhere that I could see
And asked about the words I read;
But for all his words, my words were dead.

We spoke for a while,
Hot coffee warming our hands;
Smiles on our faces and hope in heart
We both played well the stranger's part.

With the hands of time in motion,
We spoke out our souls
Of our lives and our faces,
And our words and their paces.

Of the hours that hurt
And the words that burnt;
The sweet balm of love and care
And how life could, maybe, be a little fair.

He asked, at last, if my words were taken,
And I thought back to the boy
With whom my words belonged--
*I've given up my words far too long...

My mind is the only thing
that keeps me from going insane...

Can you remember who you were?
Before?
Who you could have been now?
Can you imagine the voices,
The ones in your head,
Going away?

Do you wish the colors dimmed
And faded out like the miserable happiness,
Bleached out of your yesterdays?

Do you cry and mourn
In bursts of silence,
When the voices are back?

I know they change you,
They capture your mind
And throw havoc everywhere!
Driving you through stars
While darkening your sight.

The days can't be closer apart,
Nights can't be brighter.
People can't leave faster,
Cz you're only waiting
To drive them away.

They're only waiting
To drive them away.

**Yes, they're the same voices
In my head too...

We walk around in solitude,
And stand by ourselves.
Our eyes see each other:
Flesh, and flesh alone is what we see,
It's what we seek.

We want the outer shell.
The soul is just an addition on the inside;
A thing hidden from the world,
That's not to be considered:
Just ignored and suppressed.

We're dominated in our minds,
We're slaves of the likes and the trends,
We want to be who they see us as,
But they, but we, but everybody can only see the flesh;
And that is what we seek.

We won't believe in what can't be seen.
We've grown to forsake the lurking monsters,
They were banished by rationality;
And when our conscience raises it's head,
It's just ignored and oppressed.

We've turned into Automatons;
Mannequins, who can style themselves.
The soul, hidden inside,
Is something that can't be seen,
And so, it isn't considered, isn't wanted;
Only flesh is what we seek.

While our soul shrivels up, decayed and decrypt,
Our flesh, we keep intact.
We swallow the infernal ache,
And plaster the cracks on our smiling face--
And the cries of our soul, we keep repressed.

*For, we care for what they see.
They can only see the flesh,
And flesh is what they seek.

You hold the reins I wear,
I feel my skin blister in tear;
My heart lies in your hand,
My breath escapes your palm like sand.

You tied the reins that hold me back,
You didn't believe that I'd follow your track;
My love succumbs to cold despair,
This loneliness you can't repair.

I'm distorted here beside you,
I can see you're afraid of whats inside you;
The beasts ate your heart,
*With mine ruined, now we'll never part...

They haunt you,
They inspire you;
They make you travel far far away,
But they are not true.

They make you wonder,
What is really around you;
They leave you almost speechless,
But they do not define you.

They are not spoken in words,
But play like a movie centered around you;
They seem real when you're in one,
But they do not control you.

People say dreams help us escape to a place
Different than what surrounds you;
It seems almost like an awaited vacation,
But it does not transform you.

Dreams are complex to explain,
And simple to have;
They come when we sleep,
But we can't choose which one to have.

They are unpredictable and changing,
Sweet to begin with then turn into nightmares:
Its like you start with dreaming of teddys,
And then end up chased by grizzly bears!

They can be sweet and peaceful,
And even bizzare and surreal;
The trick to enjoy the constant surprise,
Is to keep in sight what is real.

*Dreams are perceptions,
Could be illusions or deceptions too;
But don't stop dreaming yet,
'Cause someday they could come true.

There is a deep space
In the corners of our minds,
Where our hearts dwell,
Solemnly, and in silence.
Patiently, the stillness draws closer,
The feeling recedes,
As all awareness is numbed.

The quietness takes hold,
We are asleep
And alone,
All on our own;
And we meet ourselves,
See what we've never known--
The darkness inside
That gives way to the light,
That shines from within us,
Like moonlight slowly caressing
The earth,
Consoling it,
To not fear the darkness
Of space.

We awaken then
To realize,
What we hold within us,
The energy,
The positivity,
To overcome,
To strive forward
And move on the path
That would lead
Simple beings like us
To *greatness...

She takes a breath;
A big one--
The kind that lifts her chest
Reaches her stomach.

She holds herself,
Steady little birdy,
5, 6, 7, 8...
Then unleashes
All of her raw wild grace;
As they sit in awe
Of the most beautiful animal
She brings before them.

She embodies the maelstroms,
The typhoons, the hurricanes,
That have destroyed so many,
As she devastates her audience
In subliminal bliss.
She is purely a creature of light;
A force of nature, so absolute,
So fragile;
She could break herself,
Have the world shatter
In but a flex...

The melody
Of her expression will run out soon.
As the last few bars thunder down,
She recedes;
Her energy smashed
And scattered
With those who saw her
When she was in her space,
Where they could not touch her
Or her spirit.
They were helpless in the face
Of her fire--
So hot, so bright,
It blazed in the brilliance
Of a thousand suns,
Before the last flame of the candle
Lost it's light...
Not with a bang, but a whimper

A coldness takes hold,
She realizes she has to come back
To their world.
She will miss
Her own little dimension
Where she is Queen;
Her space where she can fly,
Where she can move mountains,
And reign over thunderstorms...

The curtains start to draw
As she prepares to leave the stage,
Taking hold of the memories made
Only to be forgotten and remembered;
Thinking of her time in the sun,
She takes a last breath
And bows out.
Her grace, now a dim memory
Forgotten, only to be remembered
In these eternal phrases,
*When you read them.

a life taken
a life broken
a life lost (say forgotten)
a life begins and ends, never lived

no recognition
no words of dear ones

bombings
silent screams
voices flattened in the mud - ash
(loud ones heard by none)

wars
marching or killing
sometimes both together
(mass graves no burials no rites)

revolutions
burning homes buildings towers
(men women children infants)

freedom is the prize.
****** is the price.

why did no one stop?
all life is sacred.
still, time marches on,
blood up to it's knees.

more destruction
more violence, their excuse?
peace honor religion opinions?

rallies of hate
against voices of love.
barbarians
in the age of civility...

an ache begins in the seeing heart
why did no one stop?

the pain of knowledge chokes on tears
why haven't they stopped yet?

rushing in,
rushing out;
running after,
running from;

a soulless journey,
with no direction no passion.
(the end--bathed in darkness)

time travels on,
yesterday today tomorrow;
an endless trail to the left--past
an eternal path to the right--future

it's the same story
in a different narrative;
a book, an essay, a poem:
10 pages, 10 lines, 10 words...

life is an empty surface--not adorned with ink,
not filled with words;
without an image, color
or theme.
(the saddest story--that unmarked leaf)

no meaning no reason.
to nurture and to guide,
to lean on or learn from.

nothing
to feed this blazing hunger--

the blackness of your pupils
is empty.
you don't know
what to long for,
what to dream of,
who to miss...
(someone you haven't met yet)

there's a void in your world,
I can feel it choke you.

nothing
to look forward to.

in this dark abyss, you ache.
for that unforgettable
sated feeling--of completeness, fullness,
like being whole...
(something you've never felt before)

you wish for that eternal shine;
like a part of you,
your element your soul;
warming you,
thawing through the frost
of your broken dead dreams.

hope springs, souring high,
to break that empty shell,
to ease that great soul from inside of you
out in the open--to let it breathe--
finally!

an idea an adventure;
to nurture and guide,
to lean on and learn from.

praying for something anything!
it will feed this dying hunger.

---

there's a light in your eyes,
I can see it shine.

something someone
can break the darkness.
find it,
embrace it,
blaze in that glory;

so bright,
that when the light floods through,
the only one visible
is you.

*(heap of ashes, kindled, into fire...)

The skies collapse;
Heaven's bright light,
the angel light,
floods through the gap.
The gap,
the inbetween,
with eons of history,
of wars
and of bloodletting...

Can
this
ethereal
shine
save
us
?

You want to fly,
The wind whistling through your hair;
You want to climb, the tallest peak
And stare down the horror of falling;
You want to hear
The sweet melody of life and love,
Touch with sinful lust
All that you wish--
The pages you ache to fill
Pouring out your heart
In ink, bleeding, as words.
You want to swim.
You want to run.
The water, it calls to your soul;
The fire burns away your fear,
Hesitation crumbling in ash.
But you don't move,
You're stuck.

*Do you remember
Who you were,
Before they told you
Who you should be?

Let's walk together
This fine line
Of love and hate

Let's find each other
A profound joy
To replicate

Let's learn and love
And laugh with joy
As the world around us dissolves

Let's carry our hearts
And heal through the pain
As our love slowly evolves

I close my eyes
and open them;
I think I saw the world end.

The death, destruction
The thick scent of mayhem;
We thirst for blood as our hearts pretend.

The air is heavy
With hate and lust;
We scatter our anger, we break our trust.

Our war has broken
Our world's crust;
Our swords are smeared in blood and rust.

They turn the truth
In their run for fame;
We all fall down in the pit of shame.

The bitterness shakes,
As our resolve is untamed;
*We are but pawns, to die in their game...

I've had a life in the arms of peace;
I've lived a life with a heart for love.
I've been content in the themes of sorrow,
And the seasons of delight.

I've seen chapters start and end.
I've completed numerous volumes,
In the ink of tears and smiles;
And moved onto sequels and new characters.

--
My story is simple and incomplete--
It isn't a tale yet, just a work in progress.
It lives in the fulfilment of my dreams;
I wish to make it a masterpiece!

I hope I succeed till my last season,
Little by little, minute by minute...
Living in the throes of vibrancy,
Without regrets and with a hint of grace.

I wish to grow into an oldie in that last winter,
With a garden full of trees, each tree a completed story.
And I hope I can remember my dreams as my life;
*Even at the end, I wish for the peace of fulfilment.

This world feels
So foreign to me;
Though I was born in it,
It doesn't feel a part of me.

Give me a reason:
Good enough to stop and see,
What, through optimism,
This world could be.

Tell me of happiness,
And tell me of delight:
That could shine through this darkness,
Like a heavenly light.

Talk to me of love;
And of its virtuous beauty:
That can be felt through jealousy,
And not be borne like a duty.

Speak of the truth,
That guides me through falsehood;
That tells me how life is worth living,
And the living are worth some good.

Remind me of ignorance:
How blissful a mind in its presence can be;
And tell me how imagination,
Can overrule reality.

I ask this not for luxury,
But rather, out of necessity:
For my life has lost its meaning,
And with it, its integrity.

So, this world,
It feels so alien to me;
Though I was born in it,
It doesn't feel a part of me.

My walls are crumbling,
My world shakes,
And Shatters in shards;
The stones they fall,
Raining down on my dreams,
As I find my throat and scream.

I thought of you today,
Of how you hurt me,
Of how I left you.
The days we loved,
And when I cried;
The days we stayed away,
*When I could finally find my smile...

It's raining outside;
I want to wash away the ash,
but I don't want to put out the fire.

I liked today...

I had a peaceful rest,
Carefree laughs,
And held hands
With someone who cares

It may happen again,
But I want to remain with this feeling,
Just for a little longer...

I hope I like tomorrow as well.

She told them, 'I'm a star, not a circle!'
She's lost her limbs and bows her head;
*But atleast, she is a circle now...

Another day goes by...

I look at my reflection
And I haven't grown,
The same eyes, wrought with boredom--
Makes me wonder what part of me was sold.

I hear the sound of blood flow
As my heart thrums in a simpering rhythm;
It gives me an assurance that I live,
But makes me question whether I'm truly alive?

I feel a slumber has taken hold,
It's got me where it hurts most;
I can't move away from the pain,
And that scares me!

A painful sleep, never waking, never dreaming,
Just suspended in simple stillness...
This dull affliction makes me wonder,
Will I ever remember what it's like to be awake?

I feel a presence inside of me
The presence is not a part of me

I carry an ache in my chest
The ache demands that I surrender and rest

There is a darkness in my eyes
It was fed by your deceit and your lies

I found my memories that I'd lost
That night, you paid your cost

Don't look for my heart, its eaten by the beast
*It lives in me, where I can hurt it least

A friend to have,
A walk in the rain;
Drowning in the droplets:
To forget about the pain.

A hand to hold,
A heart to touch;
Requesting that your heart
Wouldn't hurt so much.

A light to guide,
A lesson to seek;
Trying your best,
Though chances seem weak.

Some Faith to behold,
A truthful tale;
Mending the peices,
Of a heart rendered frail.

A simple love,
A day in the sun;
Loving each other:
Two hearts, as One.

It settles inside
And around me,
Flooding every single corner
Every deep crevice--
Reaching every single piece
Broken away,
Shattered within...

In slow waves
It washes over all of me,
In soft currents
It reaches deep inside of me;
Carefully caressing
Every part of me that aches
For your phantom touch...

__

I lay here in the quiet depths,
Waiting for the blackness
Within and without..
Unleash the monster from my nightmare
And devour every fragment
Of my beaten, bleeding soul...

You think I am a happy person...

I know I dont trust you enough
To show you my pain.

--

She wears a smile
And shares her warmth,
She wipes her tears
And hides her scars;

You see the rainbow she exudes,
Because she doesn't trust you--
With her festering darkness
And the thunderstorm she survived.

She hides her demons
Behind masks of her strength,
And iron will--
While they devour her from within;

You will never get to see it,
She will never let you in...
No one will have the power
To hurt her - never again.

I heard a sob from behind the curtain,
In the darkness, I strained to look through;
It was not cloth, *that was a bar.

A voice speaks...

You hate me.
Yes.
You do not play with me anymore.
You do not think me *worthy.
You do not recognize yourself.
Do you not see what is inside You?

You answer, 'I do, I choose not to give you power.'

And yet you spend your days in the decadence of war, sorrow, suffering, jealousy, anger, death,
and with all that, I grow inside you.
Bit by bit, breath by breath, every single second...
I flourish in the dark of your heart.
The abyss where you stack your loneliness.

Know your true self.
Face me now, in this dark hour,
or I will devour you.

The light in you retaliates...
You protest, 'You are not a part of me.'

I am a part of you, a part of all that lives.
Why do you hate what gives you power?
You do not think me worthy...

You brace yourself to face this self,
a part of you...
The flame in your veins burns brighter;
A new resolve...
You say, 'I do recognize you..
Yes.
You are a part of me.
But you have no power over me.
Through patience, compassion, courage, bravery, serenity, and all the light that flows to positivity,
I gather my strength and I control you.
You do not control me.
You are that dark part,
deep inside, where you claim to stay;
And you will live there always,
For I reject you.

You are a mere reflection of my hubris
and the shadow of my soul.

*The beast is me, and I am the beast.
To deny you simply gives you power.'

Do you know that feeling?
Of deep certainty...
Knowing the truth in your bones.

It anchors you,
Grounds you to yourself.
You feel assured and confident
Of your choices and decisions...

I wish I could feel it again...
...

All hope is dead.

Capturing a moment,
To keep it as remembrance;
A light to run to,
When all else
Falls to dark...

Sometimes to share,
Sometimes to treasure;
For everyone's eyes
Or my heart only to feel...

I'll find you again
To feel happiness,
And warmth;
To be wanted again-
And be reminded of love...

You get up every morning,
When the sun gets up from sleep;
Thinking about the day that passed,
And the memory that you'll keep.

You'll fall in love with hope again,
And begin to hate despair;
But you forget to see how both of them
Come together in a pair.

Time goes on like a rolling stone:
As love is lost and found;
It doesn't mean that you surrender,
And lay flat on the ground.

Life's too short to mope around,
And think of all things bad;
It's a one-time chance so live it out,
And forget what makes you sad.

That moment of absolute clarity,
When you can feel
The truths you have always known-
Fit in with perspective
Right down to your bones...

Like a forgotten thought, so familiar
Snaps into place and knocks off your breath;
A weight heavier than Time
Settling on your ancient soul-
Reminding you of your fleeting existence...

We are living through
The consequences of our history;
The light as well as darker shades of humanity
Let's not add to the burdens
Our children will carry someday...

The light is dimming:
Every year, hour, minute
Slowly passes in silence
In distances, lost and forgotten

The light is dying:
Slowly fading in memories
Revisited countless times
By lonely, wrinkled hearts

The light snuffs out:
Tears of regret staining young hearts
Seeking forgiveness for time lost
Words unspoken, love neglected

I saw the clouds
In the moonlit night,
Dark and flimsy
Moonlight shining through.

They looked so sad,
Engulfed in the dark sky.
Taking form
Of the whispering monsters:
My slumbering nightmares,
Quitely growling in my mind.

They were mourning
The death of daylight,
As the moon roared bright;
Soaring through the sky
To meet my eyes.

My vision raged through the sky,
All the way home, seeking rest;
Yet the clouds, forgotten,
Stayed unmoving
Still, high up in the sky;
Like their dead kin
In hushed smoking rooms,
Stuck and stranded;
Held prisoner
To the silent endless black.
In sad, starving human minds...

I am afraid...
Of closing the space in-between,
To read into words unspoken;
Feel emotions raging, left unexpressed,
Listen to aches ignored.

I am afraid--
Of basking in stolen smiles,
To see eyes shining, hopeful even in the dark;
Witness hurt borne behind iron resolve,
Absorb the tenderness of love unrequited.

Everyone I meet is beautiful,
But I am afraid to look at anyone anymore...

It hasn't been the same...

The nights are darker
Stained with nightmares
My days blur together
In motionless decay

The day has dawned
My light has blown out
Everything good is gone
All green was gold, now black

All my joy is with you
It truly hasn't been the same anymore...

Breathe,
Slowly open yourself
To that blinding pain...

You're scared
Of removing the bandage;
That quick fix of dissociation-
A welcome escape
From your crashed reality.

It terrifies you
That you might bleed out,
Or find something worse;
A festered wound
Incapable of healing...

You've closed your eyes
But the world hasn't fallen away;
The clock still ticks
And you need to heal and move on,
To the next chapter waiting to be read...

Overcome the pain you fear,
Find yourself in your darkness
And breathe--

Slowly
Open yourself,
To the balm of healing...

I am tired of feeling lost
Being left behind;
I am sick of mourning
While presenting my silence...

I wait for my iron blood
To thicken and freeze;
My veins, my heart
Too stiff to feel again--

I wait for cold numbness
To dull my aching eyes;
To release my soul
From merciless compassion.

I wait to draw a breath
In freedom, in selfishness;
Untainted by their expectations
If only one, if only once...

Till my madness consumes me.

In the spaces between
The seconds passing by,
My running heartbeats,
My soul and my mind;
I shall love you always...

The stars are beautiful,
And I miss your light...

I am drowning in silence,
Beaten down senseless;
Spirit and soul waning,
Shrouded in brokenness...

As I lay shattered,
The light you brought has scattered;
Like escaped breaths
Lost in the shadows of regret.

I want to move again,
To feel again,
To sing again;
Joyful, with a beating heart.

From a time flown past,
That is now ashen,
Pale and bloodless,
Shards poking a forgotten ghost...

Another year has passed,
I am a shadow of a dream,
Treading alone on a darkening path,
As time walks across the sky...

The stars are shining brightly
But I still miss your light...

I could devour your heart
But I chose to hold it with care
Like soft petals, velveteen in my mind

I could scare you to death
But I chose to hide all that I'm made of
Like sharp daggers, wrapped in silken scarves

I could shatter your grip on reality
But I chose to respect your sanity
Like silent truths, hidden in stories untold

See my gritted teeth of sincere control
Notice my disquiet eyes aflame with agony
And don't ignore my scars from wearing another skin

It's been too long, way too long
I close my eyes and breathe in slowly,
It feels alien, other-ly--

A warmth washes over me...
'I made it this far...'

I wonder where
Have my words gone

Falling short of thoughts
Struggling to find something to say
I achingly try to articulate
Stopping mid sentence--

I miss the poems
The ballads, the prose
The words that flew
From pain, from joy
To sorrowful dark and light jest

I fear I will lose myself
Soon enough...

Will you still speak to me--
Will anyone still speak of me--
When I have nothing to say?
When I have nothing to give?

The light filters through
The cracks of my broken heart,
Crumbling in loneliness;
Decay, eating at the corners;
Within and without...

Slowly the end creeps closer,
Tormenting my tired soul
With memories and nightmares;
Staining my thoughts with hope
To try to live, breathe a little while longer.