Nothing fits right anymore,
like trying to walk in shoes three sizes too small.
I feel each step, my toes crumbled up,
crunched in the toe,
I walk crooked, trying to find any bit of relief.
But it’s never enough.
Tight in the places that matter most,
pinched and cramped, like the space you left behind.
The more I try to follow,
the more I feel like I'm in the wrong.

When I take them off,
I feel the ache of crooked blisters.
Red and bruised heels,
But I cannot walk around without shoes.
I understand that you can’t make everything in life work,
but that doesn’t stop me from trying.
These shoes drag the weight of good intentions,
and I trip over everything.

I’ve been to different stores,
but the shoes they offer fit too loose.
I try to walk, but the shoes don’t bend.
A normal five minute walk
expands into hours.
Too wide to make a complete trip
Without pain,
nothing fits right anymore
outgrown, worn, too tight.
Everyone points and laughs at a man
With shoes three sizes too small.
Who am I to chase

The weight of who I am without you sets in.
I am lost in a world without you.
All I have are these shoes that I cannot fill
without you

I brought a ticket to come and see you
Today. When I looked at the print,
I realized that it was a one-way,
With a layover in your thoughts.
Truth be told, I didn’t mind at all.
The tickets for all the other flights
Were weeks, even months out,
I paid more because I really wanted
to get there.
The ticket being nonrefundable
Made the trip that much enjoyable
Despite popular belief.
I didn’t go too much on the reviews.
Very rarely do you see one that tells
The entire truth, there is always something
Wrong. Whether it’s the seat, someone telling you
don’t drink the water, or the towels.
It’s always the towels or the sheets, for some
Odd reason.
I don’t mind a bit of turbulence.
When I got on the plane, I noticed that it wasn’t
as clean as I expected,
But it was cool. It wasn’t something
To just get upset and cancel the whole trip over.
Judging by the reviews, it’s easy to forget
That were all human. Sometimes things happen.
I leaned back in my seat and remembered that I had
Forgotten something.
I unclicked my seat belt and checked my pockets.
Nothing.
Although I am sure that I’ll arrive safely,
I’ll replace the kiss that you gave me
The last time I saw you, soon as I step off
The plane with a new one from you

Although ugly,
Something beautiful happens.
The air suddenly gets thick.
Your hand ***** up and flies
up to your mouth.
Lungs ache, just as we do.
They cling to breath as if
It's the last thing they have.
I cough, and my whole body heaves.
Just like you when I am behind you
My eyes tighten, and after a moment,
It's over.

A wet kiss turned inside out,
Bottled up and forced out.
An act of surrender,
Forced out in urgency.
A noise that signals sickness,
But at the same time
Searches for a fresh breath.
At times, a cough can be sickening,
Sometimes nasty.
But when everything rattles loose,
And that ache is gone.
Sometimes,
That's the best kind of love

The heart is a fragile thing,  
Only able to hold so much.  
Like a ship  
Sailing through a storm.  
Some make it through.  
Others, water fills the hull.  
  
Wave after wave,  
Try as you might.
You must stay afloat
The best way you can.  
No matter how many patches,  
Water still leaks in.  
Just like a heart,  
Pumping, but weighed down.
You must keep going.  
Take the proper precautions,
Jump overboard,
Swim if you must,  
No matter how many lies  
Have poked and prodded  
At your heart.  
No matter how many holes  
Have pierced your soul.  
Don’t drown.  
As long as you keep kicking,  
The sun will always shine.
Not all beautiful locations are
charted on a map

I press the buttons in a frenzy,
Lost in the glow of the TV screen.
The controller sweaty in my hand.
I tap away, making my way
Back to you.

To be honest, I didn't think
I'd like this game.
But now, I am hooked.
As dope as this game is,
It cheats.

You're a cheater! But I love it.
I don't need a tutorial,
and refuse to play through it.
I will make it back to you,
And beat you!

You, standing there with your ****
Avatar.
A quick reset, and I respawn,
Ready to get you!
Soon as the loading screen finishes
Loading. The only thing keeping me away from you, is how you cheat.
My avatar respawns,
Halfway through the level,
And there you are,
Waiting,
Like you have something better to do.
I will not rage quit!
I will beat this stage!
No one taught me how to play,
But once I win,
I'll have something to hold
over your head.
Even better
I didn't cheat to get your heart

I met you where night hangs like a prayer, and the planets spin around and around. In a world with no gravity, you pulled me in, right beside the stars that die in silence. Here, everything freezes.
And your eyes are the most beautiful thing to look at. In the deepest of dark, our hearts dance on dust and ice. Here, the wind howls, and chips of ice blow in the wind, swallowed whole by the emptiness around. Between the dying stars, we searched for a spark. A solemn flame that would keep us alive. The air here is dangerously thin, but this flame would still survive. A saving grace, ions away from home, crash-landing here wasn't so bad in the end. Far away from everything that we know, better here than a place we've never heard of. Though the ground beneath us will hold us forever, I've found this solemn spark, one that I'll remember forever. Although the stars around are too tired to shine, like them, we too, fight to burn. Two bodies lost in the dark

The last time I dreamed about you
I planted the dream in soil.
When I fell asleep and woke up.
I believed you to have grown,
Like any other flower.
Even if you turned out
to be a rose,
I didn’t mind the ***** of a thorn.
When I wiped my eyes
There was a cactus in the soil.
There are good dreams
And there are bad dreams.
Most bad dreams start off good.
Then become prickly and cold.
I didn’t care.
I lugged you around with me
everywhere.
Pulling out the spines
that stuck me.
No matter where we went
I considered them kisses
From you to me,
And me, I considered my dream
A reality.
Then you got larger.
Then you got heavier.
That happy lug turned to a hard pull.
And those cute little ******
Turned into being stabbed.
there’s a reason why most cactus’
Are found in the desert.
And why some dreams
Are just like a cactus

I found a rainbow
In the middle of the night.
Stripes of color that look like it burst through the sky.
It cut through the clouds and took over the buildings.
There’s something different about the night.
At times, everything can seem dead.
But it has its pieces of heaven.
Indigo, blue, red, yellow, and purple.
All dressed bright, Standing on the corner,
Like everyone else that wasn’t asleep.
I suppose that it needed a place to hang out too.

The bend wasn’t as curved as the one you’ll see
Through the day.
It was relaxed and positioned in the sky,
in the way I supposed you would press your back
against the wall.
Then, just like that, It was gone.
Like a pretty woman with somewhere to go

I watch,
And I pull different pieces
Of her out the bowl.
Somewhat tangled and a bit messy.
I twist her all up even more,
And put her in my mouth.
The steam rising fresh from her.
My mouth catches her,
All of her.
Hot, slightly salty.
I love the way she makes me feel.
Eventually, her ways will become mine.
She isn't just some mess in a bowl.
And although I am hungry,
The pieces of her that I drag to my mouth. Are moderate.
I've never tasted anything like this
Before.
She isn't just a quick bite
Of temporary need.
My tongue, my gut,
My soul loves this tangled goodness.
She is my safe space

I don't want to miss
How good your skin feels
In the dark,
When no one else is around
Except our breath.
And we can breathe.

Opinions are just that.
But at the same time, I know,
I don't want to miss out.

I know how bad it feels to show up
Late, and "goodbye" is the last thing
You want to hear.
I don't want to miss out on the
Dark parts of you,
The parts of you that fit
Between the empty space of my
Fingers.
No matter how dark,
There's always a place for you.
It doesn't replace how soft you
Actually are.
It's not for the world to see
They can see whatever they want to.
When it comes to you,
I am not the world.
And I don't want to miss out

The moon swallows the sun,
And for a second,
Everything becomes that much darker.
Nothing moves. Silence looks around,
Confused, looking for a sound.

Her lips touch mine,
And the world stops.
I felt my breath leave my body.
I felt her body through her lips.
My throat the only thing that stops.
My heart spilling over into her mouth.

The silence around leans closer,
Looking for a sound. Any smack,
Any slurp we could give to feed
Its hunger.
We kissed like everything in us
Filled the gaps between the stars.
When it was over,
Only a handful of people could tell you
What an eclipse looks like

I am waiting on an angel.
I’ve paced around in wait
and feel no closer to when I first started
pacing.
no call, no signs of anything that smells like perfume.
she promised she'd be here.
maybe she's stuck in traffic,
or maybe she's the kind of angel
that doesn’t keep promises.

the last time I prayed I asked for a roof
over my head.
it took a while. it took an awfully long time.
my hands were shaking.
just when I was about to give up.
I got my house.
I have that same feeling.
god knows that I am waiting,
no matter how bad my hands are shaking.

still, I wait.
I don’t know how wings feel against skin,
or how soft they are,
but somehow, I believe she is near.
if she is not.
I do believe that something beautiful is possible.
even if angels have a sense of humor

I smell the wild on you.
How the snow is caked in your fur.
When the night falls, what does
It offer besides survival.
And the means to be something
besides human.
We're stuck here somewhere where
The earth has broken.
And the cold envelopes everything it
Touches.
You stand there in the snow
Teeth bared.
Not afraid to go at it once more.
I've grown tired, so very tired.
Your eyes burn the snow.
That fierce longing to stay alive.
What else does the night offer,
We've consumed pretty much
everything else except each other.
And I am tired of fighting.
Nothing pretty survives out here alone,
In the dark.
Together, you and I nestled in each other's warm.
When hunger subsides.
We'll find it in each other

Love is not a circus.
Still, I watched her perform.
I watched her spin around in circles
And pretend to fall.
I watched her paint her face red
And smear her clown mouth.
She laughed at things that weren't
funny, often mixing up the punch line.
Still, I watched her perform.
I watched while she loved another,
A man that didn't know she was there.
The audience could tell.
Any of us could.

None of the balloons that she carried
Seemed to float,
Pretending to trip and fall into our hands. The smeared makeup around her mouth twisted into a smile she didn't recognize.

After the show, she asked, if she really did fall would I catch her?
One of her smiles telling the ultimate truth, Smeared left then off right.
Like she brushed against something.
The start of the next show.
Those ill-fitting clothes weren't so ill
After all.

She fell towards his arms,
Hoping that he'd catch her.
Love is not a circus,
Although their stay is temporary.
Painted faces tell no tales.
Not all injuries heal the same

Late into the night,
a fire rages on,
devouring everything it sets its sight on.
memories, splinters, concreate and rubble.
still, it wants more,
nibbling on silence, the dark of the night
itself.
its tongue stretches and laps,
its stomach nowhere near full.
it twists and turns, ignoring
the tug of its shadow.
it wants what it wants,
regardless of how it tastes.
its fingers constantly reaching out,
leaving a scorched trail everywhere it’s been.

here I sit, watching the fire
grow in size and height,
hoping that by some twist of fate,
it finds what it truly hungers for.
until then, nothing or no one will be able
to put it out.
I too have tired myself out,
opening the refrigerator,
like you will magically appear.

We live in between the break
Of things,
Mostly broken and curled up
Into each other.
The glow of the screen,
The result of a million jolts
Crammed into one place.
I suppose we do need things
To spend our money on.
Things that we can add to our dreams.
Especially if it doesn't interrupt
What we've waited all day to watch.

For two broken pieces
Sitting together on the couch,
That's alright.
Of all the times you've appeared
In my dreams,
I cannot tell you what perfume
You had on,
Or what designer brand you wore
From any of the commercials
I've seen.
But when our show goes on break
Or whatever movie we're watching
goes off,
The best advertisement I've seen
Is the way you look at me

We're but two drunks laughing in the rain. Memphis is a city like any other.
The rain falls and slinks into the potholes. Whatever secrets that are hidden surface and shine with every drop that falls.

What's the fun of staying dry? The rain mixed with the sweat of our skin.
When you kiss me, I feel the beads of rain fall harder, my heart a puddle that catches every drop, caught in wet embrace. We may be drunk, me more so than you. Even if lightning slices through the clouds, and the rain begins to come down even harder.

What's the fun of staying dry? Every street leads somewhere, even if the sky tears itself open and the world becomes a blur. I am a drunk fool, laughing outside in the rain with you

Call me,
Even if it's 3 a.m.,
And I am dead to the world.
Every fire pit eventually has to go out,
But even those cold ash embers
Are kept warm by the lively ones
That have yet to go out.

If you get lost
And the surrounding starts
To look unfamiliar,
Call me.
Even moths need sleep.
I promise you're not disturbing
Me.

We'll find another pit to hang around.
If you get lost and don't feel
That warmth around you.
Don't you go getting lost on me,
I'll be that lonely stubborn ember
That refuses to go out
One that keeps you warm
Until you feel safe,
And we both fall asleep
There isn't a dark too deep
That we can't explore
Even if it's 4 a.m.

I  am a ball falling into
A corner pocket.
Hit and sent flying.
The clatter of hopes and dreams
Knocked into each other.
I tumble into darkness
A world I've never known.
Unsure of where I am going.
But I roll.
Sent spinning across a velvet tongue.
I feel the rush.
Direct from the cue stick.
Pushed by the cue ball.
A crisp crack and I am sent flying.
Seamlessly waiting in line
Not knowing what number I am.
A shot aimed into netted lips.
As I tumble and swirl.
It turns out it's not so dark
In here after all.
Love is a game, and here I am.
Waiting to be placed back
Into the rack

I cling to you
When the world scratches
And howls like a wolf.
A place that's well lit,
Safe from harm.
I find my way to you
Following the echo
Of the howl.
Hoping that it doesn't
Recede before I am there.

The world around is more
Dangerous at night,
Broken branches, the chitter
Of odd and hungry creatures.
I, too, hunger to find you
Before its too late,
Willing to scratch and claw
On this unkempt, jagged edge.

Its much too cold away from you.
The warmth of your skin,
The fire of your heart.
I can feel it pulsate
through my veins. When the world
Goes mad,
And begins to howl
in hunger.
Your chest is the shelter
I turn to, the only place
The world hasn't gotten to.

We collide like thunder.
Wrapped in your indigo skin,
Wrapped in your warmth,
Fingers dig through the ache
Of wanting more.
Coiled tight,
Clinching,
An reaction of skin
pressed against skin.
I wear your shadow.
Thick in your sweat.
Like lightening you stretch.
Your breath rises,
In search of something to devour.
Again we collide.
Striking the gap
of emptiness between us.
Your eyes searching me.
The primal urge
to connect.
Still searching.
Still craving.
Marking where we lay,
Until the next storm

A hermit crab
In love with his bongo.
Scuffles on with his bongo beat.
Each thump filling the empty space
Around him.
He walks the hot concrete.
In search of something like home.
His shell dragging behind
Weighing him down.
The thump no longer loud enough
To move its tiny body.
The rhythm barely rattling around its
shell.
After a while everything can turn into a drag.
But still, he scuffles on.
He smiles, stopping to take a break
On the grass.
The concrete burning his feet.
His tiny claws scraping across the bongo.
He looks over to his left.
To find an old boot.
Nodding her head, tapping the ground
Following along to the beat.
Although weathered, she too smiled.
Echoing back his loud thuds.
Her sole cracked but full of life.
Life happens in the strangest way sometimes.
Two outcasts alone.
Drumming up stories without a word.
Scuffling on a bongo heart.
Life doesn't have to be a drag all the time.

arms brush on the hands of a clock.
infatuation discovers love
longing to twist and turn into one another.
caught between the tick.
every second that passes
they wait to cross
the hour becomes an echo.
reverberating in hesitation.
anxiety grows impatient.
each minute expanding to that grand moment.
their shadows contract.
the tension of the world fades.
their skin darker than their shadow now.
in a heart beat the clock tocks.
you cannot tell them apart

Your voice forms the bricks
Of a well built home.
It holds in warmth on a hot day
And stores heat on the cold days.
Your voice is a shelter
One that thunderstorms should fear.
Regardless of strength.
Once it dissolves.
Embers of warmth
Still reside within the bricks.
When you speak,
I find that I am home.
A place I am whole.
A place I am safe.
I always know where you are.
Even with both eyes closed.
Between the mortar of bricks
I find your breath
And lay my head beside yours.
The walls a rich tapestry
Framed in communication,
Filled with your breath and pulse.
I live in your marrow.
My every forgotten dream
Rested and remembered.
Your voice forms the bricks
Of this well built home.
Reminding me
That love. Is not just a word

The universe spins and swirls.
Mixing dreams both light and dark.
My ship's hull darts through
Molten caffeine.
I sail in search of the constellation
Closest to your lips.
Like a myth the coffee's steam rises.
Mounds of sugar crystal urchins
scrape the bottom of my ship.
Some frozen in place.
The horror of old wives tales I've heard.
The center of the cup hotter than hot.
Stories of no survivors.
Circling and spiraling in the center
Of a ceramic mug.
I can no longer tell how high the steam
Rises.
I now see that the stories are true.

Through the lens of my telescope.
I see it.
The nebula of your face.
It won't be long now.
Steadfast.
The curve of your lips.
I am now one with the universe!

I am an immigrant
lost in a foreign land.
lost in the language.
Abandoned in the promise of home.
Sacrifice wells its tears in the eyes.
Alone, further the thought sits in.
The breaking of trust twists
and turns in the chest.
Not a soul to turn to.
Not anything reminiscent of home.
The thought of your name brand new.
A place my dreams could roam free.
Stuck in the anticipation of being
a part of you.
I've wandered the streets of your name.
Ambition, now lost and afraid.
Once eager to climb the ladder of your
streets.
In truth all of it was a dream.
Your kiss now dried, now hallow.
Your hand now chipped and flaked.
I've told you my truths
My dreams.
You've turned a blind eye.
Swallowing me in your cracks.
Forever lost in the dark

You stirred the ***.
Taking parts of you.
Parts of me.
The good, the bad.
Even the things that aren’t
So pretty to look at.
And poured them into
The pan.
It’s easy to forget about
The hurt until you come
Face to face with it.
Sour peaches aren’t the end
Of the world.
No matter how we layer it.
These are the things we’ve
Come to love about each other.
Even the hurt becomes mixed
In a sugar glaze with enough time.
No matter how bitter.
The brown of my skin
Mixed with yours.
A recipe that’s been done
And passed down before our time.
No matter how much of a mess
We think that things are,
No matter how bruised a peach
We accidentally pick up.
Nothing can replace the warmth
Of a cobbler.
Straight from the oven.
Soon we’ll both be fast asleep.
Your head rising and falling on my chest
With each breath I take.

For a moment we’re in perfect harmony.
There is no fear. No worry.
Finding purpose in each other.
Whether the shadows creep through the night.
Or the sun lives out loud during the day.
There is but a moment
Followed by an embrace, then a click.


Unlocking parts of you that I only anticipate.
Though circumstances may vary.
This moment I relive, even away from you.
The way that you sigh, the way that you
Twist and the way that you turn.
No matter where I’ve been.
You tumble then you click for all to hear.


A sigh released into forever.
Echoing down its hallway.
No matter how tight you squeeze.
I am here.
No matter how stubborn you may become.
I am here.
Until the day I no longer exist.


No matter how many hands I may pass through.
I can never replace the way that you hold me.

Through its bend.
It hangs on to a promise.
One that hasn’t been fulfilled.
Its colors now dull,


Cascading from behind the clouds.
Bruised yet, fleeting in the blink of an eye.
It searches. Finding reason to smile.
The sun peeks its head out from behind the clouds.
Catching a glimpse of its beauty.


Someday.
Love won’t feel so constrained.
Giving it something to wrap its arms around.
Through its bend.
A brighter day is just around the corner

In a short whisper.
A shy hurricane drifts.
It swirls, rain cascading down.
It sees you, longing for your embrace.
Delicate.
A storm brews inside.
Looking for a way to get out.
Do you feel it.
The gust of its heart quickens,
tenfold.
Longing to dissipate and cover you
whole.
In a short whisper.
The skies darken.
Everything comes to a hush.
Its fears no longer wrapped tight.
A shy hurricane in search of love.
Knows nothing.
But to rage

We reach for the last slice.
Fingers touch and eyes lock.
In a world with enough scarcity
In it, I've had my fill.
I've eaten until my heart's content and offer you the last slice.
It was yours from the beginning.
There was never anything to ask.
Before the dough was baked, before
the free pieces of sausage and
pepperoni rattle around the box.
There are certain things in life that we cannot hide.
Undeniable flavors that coax our tongue.
So take the last slice
and enjoy the last bite.
This is a hunger that goes beyond the physical.
Everytime I kiss you.
I'll remember how my tongue rattles
Around your mouth, the same way

The tires hum over the street.
echoing between the other cars.
finding their way into the trees.
just you and I, the wind blowing in through the window.
Anything to get out of the house.
every mile we travel I am more at peace,
that I am not alone.
I am glad that you called me before I got in the car.
The neck strap that holds my work badge
Dangling back and forth from the rearview mirror.
nowhere in particular to be.
no particular place comes to mind.
It feels good to have you beside me.
the radio down low, lost in conversation.
old memories becoming new.
Your arm slightly bent resting on the car door.
every bump that we hit, the loose change in the cup holder rattles.
just you and I. no particular place to be.
no particular place in mind.
We can stop anywhere that catches your eye.
I made sure to fill the tank up before I stopped to get you.
anything just to get out of the house.
I am glad that you were able to take this ride with me.

lightening appears,
followed by the roll of thunder.
it crashes boldly.
colliding between the drops of rain.
There is no fear. standing between us two.
my soul reaching out for yours.
There is shelter in my arms.
the thunder roars.
demanding us not to veer away.
long as we have each other, fear does not exist.
no matter how far in the universe the lightening
comes from.
It finds us.
We’ve discovered the gift of fire.
Dancing from my lips to yours.
no longer trembling in the cold.
in the dark of night. the thunder rumbles.
like the crash of pots and pans hitting the floor.
no matter how hard the rain pours.
I’ll grip and hold you tight.
through the flash of lightning.
It strikes. Paralyzing me in place.
you've struck my soul.
Zigzagging your way to my heart.
the thunder roars on, with every flash.
this fire rages from our arc.
Your soul entwined with mine.

when I am running on fumes
you fill me up.
igniting my engine to throttle a bit harder.
A bit faster.
you rev me up regardless the number of bumps,
regardless the amount of twist
and turn, in the road ahead.
my heart belongs to you.
propelling me towards the sunset.
the reason I speed down the street in this passionate flight.
Not afraid to jump any unsuspecting hill.
most might think that I am crazy, the way that I drive.
if they knew the reason why, they'd press the pedal down
as well.
when I am running on fumes, rev me up, rev me up.
Darling rev me up.
I am a well-oiled machine with a place to be.
whether towards the moon or the sun.
you're the gasoline that ignites the spark
that pushes me to go a little further.

love is a roller coaster.
filled with highs and lows,
the anticipation builds, your hand in mine.
nervous about the drop ahead.
rough times designed to bring us
closer than we are.
Sometimes it feels like we're stuck in a whirl.
looping around and around.
face full of wind. trying to be brave in front of each other.
knowing that we're both afraid of heights.
Our throats touch the bottom of our stomach.
our necks **** coming out of every bend.
racing in what feels like two hundred miles an hour.
laughing and screaming. a terrifyingly good time.
the wind sometimes stealing the sound.
hold on to me tight. The end is near.
throw your hands above your head.
let out your loudest scream.
our hearts almost beating out of our chest.
the last drop is just ahead. soon to slow down
then stop.
Admitting that we're afraid was the first step.
Though we had no choice but to let go of our ego,
It was fun.
the second time around won't be so bad.
you're here with me, gliding to the end.
on second thought.
maybe we should sit for a minute
when the ride stops

though a storm can reveal a tree’s roots.
their essence remains.
through the soil, through every crevice.
a home is still a home.
no matter how far it moves.
no matter how fast and far time moves.
the eyes learn different than hearts.
the body reacts. soon lost in the gaping hole
backfilling a testament with everything tangible.
hearts like tree roots.
grow and they twist, and they turn.
they will always be there.
my heart seeks to learn from yours.
growing big and thick.
though a storm can reveal a tree’s roots.
very seldom, does it remove every root.
beneath the skin, where my heart and yours exists,
layer after layer of dirt blessed by the gift of life.
no matter how much the storm rages.
a piece of you and I will always exist

in a downpour of rain.
the world fades away in a flash
of white.
the rain slants and drizzles,
Beginning to fill the gaps of potholes.
And crooked cracks left empty
against the pavement.
the drivers behind
the wheels of their cars
turn their windshield wipers
on high, to no avail.
Their wipers constantly beaded
down, covered white.
Fading away.
the downpour is too heavy.
the rain is too heavy.
It's thuds bead down
against the metal car roofs.
my heart too sways in the wind.
Pinged and drenched,
caught in the downpour of how your
heart's whispers have turned to screams.
rain-soaked tears unveiled to fill the
gaps of all things missing.
including the distance between you and I.
Soon, I too will errupt and overflow.
Fading away in a flash of white

I felt so alone.
every place I went. every place I stopped to visit.
Seemed off.
I followed the noise of everything around me
in the hope of finding something familiar.
I rounded corners, crossed mazes of streets.
I didn't feel like I belonged to any of these places.
mostly filled with strange looks. anxious behavior.
still, I walked.
big city life is too busy.
always somewhere to be. always something to do.
it's easy to lose track of time.
keeping up with the next thing to do, the next place to be.
I felt so alone.
my walk becoming more unease. my shoulders more tense.
nothing really felt warm.
everyone felt cold, lost in the hustle of busy feet.
Shoulders almost bumping into each other,
Cars screeching their horn almost running into the other.
the sanctuary of what I really needed seemed far away.
still, I walked.
meeting the avenue of your eyes. you.
you seemed different.
far different than any place I’ve been.
I felt like I’ve been here before, or at least
Would remember if I’ve dreamed about it.
I didn't need to look at a menu to know what I wanted.
there wasn't a question of where I’d sit, or if there'd be
a seat by the window.
No remembering if I needed to stop at an ATM or if I had the right
Amount of money. I felt at ease.
I immediately knew what I wanted and where I wanted to be.
if I did continue to walk, it would be into tomorrow.
so that I could come back here.
a patron whose face would take no time to remember.
when the weeks turn into years.
I’ll remember to tell you; this is how I got home

with a can of spray paint.
I tag my name across the wall of your heart.
my love for you condensed,
shaken up, expanding through
the burst of a nozzle.
swirls of tie-dye,
colliding in pink monochrome and blue.
Vibing, tripping.
After spray freckles tiptoe as high as my arm will reach.
And as low as my knee will allow.
chaos drips in small bubbles soon to dry.
Running through rough open spaces
Where paint used to be.
condensed circles, widening out to bigger circles.
your heart my canvas.
there is no such thing as running out of room.
the best things in life overlap and cross over
into each other.
my name splashed monochrome.
shaken up, expanding through
the burst of a nozzle.
I am swirling in love.
In every shade and in every hue.
coloring outside the lines.
your heart's a kaleidoscope
intertwined between the space of my fingers.
Life imitates art.
Art imitates love.
I imitate you.

the last time you were here.
you brought a bar of soap with you
that you left before you walked away.
it provides a fragrant lather.
rinsing off, swirling around before being rinsed
down the drain.
although not forever, even bars of soap
have a shelf life.
it's expectancy dwindling with every use.
although you're not here, the bar of soap
you left behind is.
the question of masculine is not up for debate.
just as fleeting as every shower is.
i am not at all ashamed to say that it left
my skin feeling smoother.
the bar of soap gets thinner and thinner.
tossing in turning, scrubbing itself against my wash rag.
the doubt of you coming back is more evident.
the thinner this bar of soap gets.
if nothing else.
you can't say that I didn't think about you

when I think about you
I hold you close and place you
around my neck like a necklace.
somewhere where I know that you're safe.
somewhere that I don't have to question.
your lips a pendant to the charms
that bang against my chest if I were to run.
the chain of your arms looped around my neck.
not to bind, or to keep stagnant.
to take in the sights, to breathe as one,
just as the planets that clasp together,
dangling from the universe's neck.
and
how the stars gleam and radiate.
bouncing and filling the empty gaps of space.
astronauts know this for a fact.
nestled in the comfort of their ships, sailing the sky.
clutching their keepsakes.
thinking about the love they've left back home.
although I am far from an astronaut.
you guide me through some of my darkest times.
when I think about you
I hold you close and place you
around my neck like a necklace.
if ever I am lost, you center me

My pillow misses you
more than I do.
The way you taste, the way you feel
Your kiss echoes goodnight.
A sheep lost it's way to the moon
tonight.
We both lie awake waiting for you
The last thought before
falling asleep.
If it seemed I never missed you
you're sadly mistaken &
everything in between

I come to life when you touch me
Fluent & continuous.
You've unzipped my lips and tossed
them to the side.
I've never fallen &
been caught so freely.
I've never paid attention to how
flat the world really was.
A jagged peninsula
Eloped in oceans embrace
Curved in explosion.
Sometimes it feels like I am
Drowning.
I've never paid attention to how
flat the world really is
Chipped off, covered by you
falling deeper into you

Meeting you gave me the permission
I sought in myself.
To get out & explore in a sense
that it feels like home.
Being with you, the best idea yet.
Small petite buildings, towering
buildings.
Everyday feels brand new
I don't feel the need to stay cooped
up inside a room.
With you I want to get out &
explore and sleep when there is
time.
I've never been to a place like
this before.
I've never tasted food this good
before & for once,
There are no distractions, no other
place to be.
The lights that shine from your eyes
The thoughts that travel fast like cars.
I've never been to a city like this
before, the best idea yet.
When people ask me where I've been
I call your name.
When friends ask me where I'm going
I call your name.
And I can't wait until I get back there

She came from heaven & laid her head
Down next to mine.
It felt like I had crawled into the sun &
Realized that everything was not
what it seemed.
She became an island
One my emotions began to explore,
Simplified to pacing in circles
walking back and forth.
She came from heaven & laid her head
Down next to mine.
I'd realized that I never seen the sun
set.
My gratitude today hopeful
of the invitation into tomorrow.
She defies the gravity of my world

The sound of fingers
The string of hearts
Pressed wood hallowed out
Digging, digging
Digging, digging
Breathe in breathe out.
It takes courage
Just to exist.
I've tied my heart to a steel string
And lost them around the cuticles
of your fingers.
Of all the cruel things in life
I am glad that you're not one of them.
I've tuned my lips
& Twisted my hips toward you.
You never once laughed
When I mentioned
I am still learning how to dance

Through the red joysticks
And white & blue slap buttons.
Without the advancement of memory cards
Or weird split screens to
distract.
My last life is always the one
I save for you,
Through the experience points
and colorful gems
There’s much more to explore.
My first wow, my first time, my next again
& Again.
No matter how many times
I feel like I lose,
You’re the reason I always get back up.
My initials fill all ten slots of your heart,
Until you're decommissioned and pulled
Out of stock.
There they will always remain

While the world is asleep
I lie awake in a dream that feels real
because I am with you.
They'll lie still and we won't disturb
them.
It's you that I only get this feeling
around.
I accept that I am awake because you
are here
There is no other fact.
While the world is asleep
I want to explore everything that I can.
Without interruption.
Without the triple bypass of work.
More than enjoying your company for
what it is.
Like croissants in Paris
After climbing the Eiffel tower with you
on my back.
Or counting how long it'll take to bend
the curvature of the tower into the
shape of your heart.
While the world is asleep
They'll lie still and we won't disturb
them.
& When they awake,
They'll think it was all a dream
By the time we finish explaining what
took us so long to get back

Fear is a language all on its own.
Although broken, we understand soon
as we hear it.
No matter how well spoken
No matter how intuitive or savvy
We sabotage ourselves well after the
moment has passed.
I stepped outside of myself when I met
you.
Bilingual & open,
No matter how far you move or I.
I'll always remember you
I've memorized you in my heart
Where fear does not exist

Your memories are a poem
Presented to me at the end of the bar.
Alone & fleeting; an escape from reality.
Wanting to take part in the meeting
Of strangers; A variety of faces exchanging
****** temptation disguised as liquid courage.
Chased by the thought of not being alone
Your memories are a poem
Refilled soon as it's emptied. Wished away,
Wanting to be pursued
In exchange for monetary currency.
Bad ideas that roam the ideology of good,
You fill me, I feel you.
I stand & I stumble around the thought of you.
You start to leave me soon as I start to feel you