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Men all inshroud in black grayongray funeral dress like the dead they have been asking you to sit down with them and YHWH with the soft gloomgleam of their how dark with excessive bright thy skirts appear threads woven hate betwixt HimI will not be cut so easy as we want and I wont embrace His softhardfirmness not so easily not yet too soon the sun sets insofar as it can below the leftover clouds of fast passing day and we all missed homebound trains in that distraction of the sunset circus setting skies alight with love softspokensilken fire orangedarkwithexceessbright red as hell and sin together those men inshroud and Him rise to mirror set suns O and the soft breathing beyond the trees behind the train just arrived of the sea the sea crimson sometimes like fire and the glorious sunsets and the evergreen everinlove pines behind the train yes I stand to take my starting after all the deadmen I love dont know and Him yes laughing towards home towards old streets of newness and all I we are left wanting HIm in holy union with my footsteps in the quicksand too thick to stand go on then figure out now what it is that you need You Ill step out for a minute to breathe nopleasedontleaveimsorry in air on fire with loveheat Ill love right true holy You please yes take me home to your motherfatherholyspirit so I will impress on them my love for a four letter word that disobeys all linguistic laws but will love me more than none more than any more than I view the wheel that is the world from the side and I see an I that is Him yes that is I yes that is We and my heart goes like mad and yes I reach out yes Ill make You HIm I will here now forever yes yes Yes.
inspired by the final chapter of Joyce's "Ulysses," in combination to a recent love of mine
Right now I am happy...

I feel comfortable and I feel safe.

I feel grateful for my existence and I'm enjoying my life.

I feel a warmth envelop me a hundred times a day.

Reminding me I am alive and content and free.

Right now I am happy...

I am happy to be me.

I know I'm going the right way even though I'm not certain which way that may be.

I know this from my feelings deep down inside.

I've learned to understand me, for so long I have tried.

Right now I am happy...

It's been a journey and I've survived.

I learned the hard way, to be calm and still my pride.

I want others to learn sooner, that way they can enjoy life.

Because right now I'm happy, happy to be alive.
Rereading old writes
The familiar heartache,
unending pain, the paradox,
the ****** and contradiction
I must be trying so hard
to tell myself something
but I never learn

Reopening old wounds
Touching nerves,
the skin burns, the watering eyes,
the fights and the lies
Cutting ties and goodbyes
The drunk ***, the sent texts
So many regrets and  so much stress

A sad read, a happy memory
A lifetime of love and irrelevant stuff
What am I doing?
Questions, no answer
long walks in parks after dark
with  nothing but a pen in my hand
and heart in my throat,
quick sand and so much smoke
.
I don't feel I just shake and shiver.
I wished that I wrote you a poem
so here it is, the final piece of me
that I'm prepared to give
.
"The sting, the grief of love lost"

"the hardest part is that
I know it's just growing pains"

"I miss being able to see faces"

"why do things get complicated
in the search for simplicity?"

"we find solace in companionship
we are not solitary creatures
we are man and woman"

"You're fine, son."

"Let me be
Your barely living proof
That happiness
Is hard to find
Just don't ask me why"

"I was so busy trying to live I must have forgotten to breathe"

"I'm sinking, I'm drowning under
Endless streams of confusion
I wonder
If I could stem the flow
Could you silence the thunder?"
SunniGrl Jul 2018
Morning hues expose my timorous state.
Desperation leads me to cover my face.
Look close to see my vulnerability.
Stand next to me, feel my warmth seep from me.
People steal my tenderness, my energy, my positivity.
Leaving me naked and nugatory.
I learned to hide the physical trace.
Only I know the truth, feel the abuse.
In the night agitation kicks in.
No way to sleep, only to weep.
Safely locked. Deep in my private thoughts.
In the night I can be me. I reach for my secret sins.
I need to feel free and no longer nugatory.
Morning comes again.
Time to cover my sins.
Lyish Apr 2018
Poetry has always spoke to me
Makes me feel like it was suppose to be
The way to express, explain and complain
Without feeling the all of the pain

Because the softness of these words aren’t here to create fame
And in all honesty, I think that ***** pretty lame

I’m tryna tame my ego
Let the mind flow
Fly higher than imagined
And feel free, you know?


But every time that journey comes close
Even a tiny bit near
There’s that high demand of
Doubt
Redemption
And of course…
Fear

****, there is goes again
Writers block
Got me thinking of words that rhythm with
****
It’s like when I try to catch my trail of thoughts
My brain just wants to lock

I’m contemplating galaxies and the forth dimension
The idea of;      
  love & affection
The meaning behind time
And the answer using my mind
Something that I still haven’t been able to find

I’m calculating the distance between our hearts
& why its taking so long for you to comprehend why we grew apart

I’m tryna focus on what makes me grow
& in spiritual terms
What makes me glow?

What’s the real way to open my heart and soul?
Cos shrooms and LSD seems to be all that I know.
White people wanted me
To diversify
The Black folks they had was on low supply
Not quite dark enough
To terrify
Not quite light enough
To qualify
Just the right color
To be their sucker
Just another "Oreo"
To fit that story, oh,

Black people wanted me
To represent
But the lies were deep down
Left to ferment
"Boy, you talkin' so proper" they would
like to lament
Yeah I "talk white", they would
Always cement
But I got the brains
To make the crowds insane
Just another "Zebra",
"Yo, who is he, brah!?"

Teachers wanted me to be black
Just to show off
"Your a smart black man, not that
***** sin sloth"
But then would freeze me out like
The cold planet Hoth
Lookin' at a seizure while they own
Mouth froths
Black on the survey
What the hell do they say?
"There are SMART Blacks at our school!
See man, it's cool."

I've felt Black since the
Age of 14
Since I was followed around
The grocery scene
People always thinkin' I be
Lookin' mean
Assuming a bunch of stuff
Before they even seen!
Not ****** American
But Black to the core
Now sit back, relax
Let me spit some more.

My mother wanted me to be a
Black youth
Married a Black man so I could
Be one too
Been learning bout the struggle since I was two
brotha I even got a Black
Wisdom tooth
Hit with the facts
while I was a **** kid
never knew I'd end up bein'
the right **** bid

Society wanted me to be Black
And fail
Get caught selling drugs and not
Afford bail
Couldn't be Blacker then when
Caught in jail
Officers suspect I'm obsidian instead of shale
Well I've got something
Given to me by highest hand
From beyond the clouds of creation
I'm Black, by popular demand.
NeroameeAlucard Apr 2016
I rang the doorbell
Seeking entrance to the home
I heard footsteps walking to
But it seemed I was outside, alone.
The cold began to nip at my skin
My internal temperature began to drop
My heart began to beat fast
Why won't she answer the door
I'm outside freezing and my heads starting to spin

I'm outside your heart. ..please let me in
James Arce Apr 2016
Memories everywhere I see,
Your eyes always watching.
Believing we had something once,
Only deceiving myself.
Tomorrow is another day,
To be plagued by times lost.
Living a constant war,
Emptying bottle after bottle.

- James Arce
Marcus Belcher Apr 2016
I just want you to know
I don't care if you don't love me
I don't care if you don't want me
But you must know
I want you
I want you to be apart of sunshine
I want you to be apart of my smile
But I accept if you don't feel the same
I know these actions are not in vain
But I hold them in my brain
Helping me grow against the strain
So ladies...hop on this magical train
I want to bring you joy changed from pain
To all my former girlfriends and my future wife
Brandon Feb 2016
If we only have this life, you get me through
Never met many so genuine; only a few
If we've only got this life
Then this adventure oh then I
Shall share it with you for your amenities
Your heart in mine is the ultimate proximity
She's endured my pain for so long
She's a never ending loop of your favorite song

{Set II: Brandon}
Even if our hymns fall flat
The fact that I saved her from splat
I made her believe again
Even then I can be that ultimate friend
She needed to know genuine still exists
Her smile brings back dreams I reminisce
You want an MVP in your relationship
To help patch the ship and sail for companionship

|INTERLUDE|
Crystal is the pearl
Sent to me as a guide
Easy to tell what I confide
The Emerald Girl
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