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12.9k · Jun 2014
bloom
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
hand in hand, the mind soars effortlessly
apart, the heart wilts with questions unanswered

and i merely seek for us to bloom, together
6.8k · Dec 2017
Stark
Axion Prelude Dec 2017
Seasons pass, tempered by insalubrious fervor; treasonous design remiss of fate

An echo of prior songs resonate somber atrophy; mourn the passing of  constant defeat, stained by triumphant dissonance and disdain

Fear strides along the broken path, left alone and solemn and crass: Through sour feats of vindication, tones of plight become dismissed

Surfeit, the sound of temptation rides upon the crest of dawn, blinding darkness like calming waves caressing infinite stretches of sand: soft and warm; kind and welcoming, embracing in its gentle touch

Sentience hides behind a creeping fog, whispering secrets of life eternal, bearing gifts wrought through sensuous candor

Two threads lost, now found; slowly bonding, uniting purpose, rhythm, rhyme, and reason; born from the same cloth, garnering habit, singing in harmony what echoes from within

Beautiful, intelligent, staunch with profundity; stark, handsome, wholesome, and good

The call of a true home may finally beckon..
6.1k · Aug 2018
Horizon
Axion Prelude Aug 2018
I seethe within what echoes disdain for all things wanting, because I can't seem to keep what's there to begin with

The desire to purge prior prose and start from scratch beseeches my mind to scrawl what dire nuance calls my name, but I don't look it in the eyes

It's my demon; my voice that resonates deep within; the call of all things mired by fate-less whispers of what's more, or right

But I know, it can't be how I desire. What can be will only come when time sets right the means to seek it out; to reach for whatever may be reaching back at me

I can't move forward unless I know for certain what's there would not bring more desolation. I am a coward, but am I human? I ask myself that every waking moment

I crave nothing more than to be normalized and reverberate with twining string of fate that actually calls my name, not the sour tones of dissonance and disdain as before

I crave reality to be my own, rather than reality to own everything I can not

I seek, eternally.. I find nothing but light that touches the surface, but never does the sun actually rise.

Bring me to my own horizon, bring me fate, bring me peace..

I hope..
5.7k · Dec 2017
Purpose
Axion Prelude Dec 2017
I've spent a life creating fortune for those who've either never seen nor deserved it

Decimated by wanton want for more, or decaying senses wrought with desolation and desire to simply be known, I've caused strife within myself for the sake of others being fulfilled

I've spent so much time creating, ready to give myself to a world that's only seemed to cause destruction to my own soul, and take from me the things I needed most, even if merely conceived through empty wishing

I crave to bestow this strength and wisdom to one who would call my heart home; to be equal and stand as one, through synergy and servitude toward every sense of well being, respect, and care

I do not ask for more, I request nothing but trust and honesty; my affection, admiration, and loyalty lies upon the eyes that see me true

I do not expect love, nor frivolous diligence, I simply wish to no longer misplace my purpose, my admiration, or my faith unto anyone that would never see me, or never care to desire such staunch resolve within their heart as well
A gentle sigh relieves itself from my lungs; the air escaping my lips echoing thoughts of solemn wishes...
5.1k · Jun 2014
waiting
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
hope and expectation are at war
eternal conflict, reverberating endlessly
the struggle to know and the desire to want
seething within
tension breaks at the first word

marred with patience
quiet, silent, waiting
compassion resonates
kindness wanders silently
i am here
5.0k · Dec 2017
Treason
Axion Prelude Dec 2017
I am guilty of treason against my own heart in ever losing faith that I would come know another soul of such passionate discourse; rapt through compassionate dissonance; endearing and kind, and warm

I've never experienced beauty of this nature, and if ever I could not find a single voice beyond what resonates with me here, I would still invariably be forever content
4.9k · Dec 2017
Sought
Axion Prelude Dec 2017
The solitude of when two hands meet garners thoughts of warmth and want for needs unspoken

I miss the days when simplicity was as common as the delicate exhale shared when two lips release from one a other

To gaze through sultry windows of the soul, soft yet weary with fervent witness, beckons notions of wanderlust to a place that shines brighter than any I've ever seen

I watch, bound by valor for not seeking more through presumptuous ineptitude; bewildered by the plight you've been mired by, I wince at the thought of harm coming to you

Your trust exudes a powerful purpose; wrought from the ashes of all that have claimed to impose before, I succumb to the surfeit of such a staggering meaning in that gift

I hold myself in bated breath for the day you would ever need my heart for your own, but stay guided to be here in spirit, ever more

Although my basic wishes be forlorn, in somber muse I find great purpose to be a part of this grand fate bestowed upon me

You are all I've ever sought; and through disbelief, I am remiss of all that's mired me before

If only, one day, perhaps we could be more..
4.6k · Jun 2014
wonder
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
a flower I can not touch nor smell, or see.. or is there any flower at all?

and yet I am part of the soil sewn from which it blossoms. But when its petals bloom, I wonder if they shall be facing me or the sunset..
4.5k · Dec 2014
escape
Axion Prelude Dec 2014
planted seed; they let it grow
through much defeat, it’s never known
a smile's disguise seethes bated breath
my sole escape be only death
3.8k · Feb 2018
Untitled
Axion Prelude Feb 2018
I dreamt of you the other day

Such sweet resonance with your presence, it echoed a calm I only experience with you; awoken, and sound

You caught me in a time of plight, pulled me forth in valiant fervor

Your smile shined upon me, and I felt safe; feverishly exposing your excitement to explore the horizon

We drove into the fog; your warmth was tangible, even in my subconscious dwelling

Next to you, I simply felt good; a place I can not substitute

I felt calm, as if all qualms and scores of darkness simply melted away; you seemed happier than I had ever seen when I had not declined your beckoning

I felt home, and you seemed content to feel the same with me by you

If ever that could be true when I awake for this, life would forever be a dream

I dreamt for peace, and you were there; simplicity, two threads cut from the same cloth, bound together

I hope to bring you the same light
3.4k · Jan 2018
Epithet
Axion Prelude Jan 2018
The somber whispers of defeat haunt the wind; my skin reels at its chilling touch

Harmony concedes to an epithet of solemn solitude; it creeps within my very bones
3.0k · Dec 2017
Embrace
Axion Prelude Dec 2017
I've sought, throughout my entire life, what were inevitably all for naught; to beseech a heart as this

I would have traded all before it just for a moment to embrace it with all my own

This is the preface of a blessing unto a man who lost faith, long ago; the echo of a voice what crept in through mere dreams and left with stoic wanting of what never could be found before

I yearn to give my heart for this
I would transcend everything just to be what's needed, and to never let escape one single breath in vain for all I would know nothing less to be that of an angel
2.8k · Jan 2018
Warmth
Axion Prelude Jan 2018
Stalwart embers forever light my heart; stoked by whispers of fate and grandeur, a flame reignites: so minute and fragile, it still holds great warmth; and forever shall I hold it close

Beseeched, I move toward distant hope that one day, my flame; my dear, we could together burn brighter than the sun
2.5k · Jun 2014
determined
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
you are the reason and I am the cause
together existing as a single tangible flaw
staring down fate with our hearts entwined
a bitter feud of passionate irrationality showing all the signs
adorned with a conscious need to seek more with time

no time left, the clock strikes midnight
and we go, we go; we keep going on
bringing our hands closer to what we want
pushing through unto dawn with this plight

solidarity benefits the purpose of why
separating all the words between meanings aligned
defining reason alone with blank canvas minds
ready and willing to satiate this place in space and time
decimating indecision with open eyes

combined efforts sought through curiosity
the blank pages wired down with what we know
but what we want has forsaken us without a means to write it all down
carried away with doubt and fear of being burned from the bright sun
still whispering lullabies that help us both stay in the fight

this helpless inspiration is determined by the stronger voice
I wont rest until I reverberate every breath of ours by choice
solemn hours of sleepless nights breaking the lines
between life and love and a scarred heart desperate to redefine
shores lie dormant, ready to drown us under its persistence

every provocation and implication suffers from empty lies
deceiving ourselves, trying to forget the lifetime of pain
deliverance lost in the darkness, seeking to make things right
and I just want to be the one to show you the light
2.5k · Aug 2018
Ceased
Axion Prelude Aug 2018
I'll seek refuge in places that don't hold my name to be true, and even in emptiness I remain wrought through heavy handed tones of antipathy

Echoes of resolute desire plea with somber empathy, but remain indefinitely beyond the horizon of which I can not seek - and I shall remain waiting for something that has yet to come, for good it seems..

It rings barren any semblance of genuineness, the shadows I fall under; in plighted qualms, through quarreled teeth; without strength to hold my own, my very soul becomes the ground with which they walk

Desolation is the staunch friend from which I may not doubt will never be there in my time of need; and what I truly need, I fear, will never set foot upon my gaze

Like a sullen rose barred behind a glass wall, bereft of life giving nutrients and slowly wilting away one pedal at a time: I'll solemnly gaze upon the last glimmer of hope what was once profound and pure, now gripped with agony, and sin; decaying, alone, forever out of reach with only my eyes and heart to embrace it, yet never once again know what it may feel like to hold close with my own flesh

I am surrounded by an unspoken emptiness; an infinite abyss in every direction, except forward - and to each footstep I hear an echo of its past, one more inch beyond itself and gone before the last moments incur what hollow life is left within

Each passing moment brings me further to the edge of the unknown, this hope that's guided me for this long has burned like an eternal candle, now wisping what light is left to bear before me

One step more, and into the embracing darkness I will fall unto

The cries of war are beginning to recess; the battle has ceased, and I am still without a place to call home
I am utterly exhausted, in heart, mind, and soul
2.5k · Aug 2018
Echoes
Axion Prelude Aug 2018
Genuinely feeling hope for something good, and being lead by false hope to believe a lie as truth, are two different beasts

I don't hate myself for what I felt, or thought, but instead what I was lead to think was okay to believe

I was lied to, again; my words beckoned something I thought was genuine, and deceit was all that met me, just like every time before it

I'm sick of being here, of thinking anything gets better, because it's true that the those who spend their fortune at keeping an authentic heart for others will inevitably end up alone, indebted to those who only care of themselves

I give myself away too often, but only for what I objectively observe as being meaningful, but I'm afraid that closing off my mind will bring me to the dark place again, and I never want to go back there

I have no control of what someone believes or feels, nor do I know what that may be, all the same

I just take what I am given, if it seems and feels good; if it echoes compassion and sincerity, because that's exactly what I lack most

I hate being a slave to this paradox, but my freedom may only come with absolute truth

I have no more faith for that - I still hope; potentiality rings, but I know that's one sided on my end

A wish is a wish..
2.3k · Feb 2018
Wait..
Axion Prelude Feb 2018
Your plight becomes your calling once more as you retreat to daunting servitude

unbeknownst unto your own soul, the mired fog which blinded your path prior reaches out to you

Claws sinking, you succumb to lies and deceit as if it were your only surmise

I know better, but I am not the one to call your place in line amongst the unwavering compassion I own for you

You make your choice based on a haze of comprehension, no eyes could see nor heart could feel; indecision stifled your beckoning before, and yet you return to the same darkness even you called foul for yourself

You knew where harm reached out to you; intention set, you saw the crimes which took your heart for granted; you spoke to me, with me, of all the things you sought but were met with insalubrious dissonance.. And yet..

My heart sinks, my chest burns, my mind wreaks havoc on itself just to know: why?

I am for you, unconditionally; you betray not my heart, but merely your own

Until the day comes you see true unto yourself, I settle now to be in your shadow..
One step forward, two steps back
1.6k · Jun 2014
candid
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
candid malice, besieging
drained by lucrative ignorance
frustration staining teared windows
the hole leaks with pure essence
once where the heart stood, emptiness retains resolve
desolation sets in
she calls, in the mind..
passion begets strife
i walk on
1.5k · Jan 2018
Smoke
Axion Prelude Jan 2018
Sometimes I see it in spaces crept in between where the light finds a place to crest through crevasses

No matter how bright these rays clasp my face and blind me to tomorrow, there's still a darkness to them; like embers of ashes old still smoldering, ready to set the whole world on fire

Oh what it would be to smother myself in that cold clasp, suffocating on all what is, remembering what was, forgetting where I am and just letting go

This fever will attach itself strongly again if I forget to breathe; this smoke completely fills my lungs and reminds me of your scent, but I can't see you there when the blinds come open, just the emptiness of another day come and gone

And I'd keep doing it forever, waking up and hoping for tomorrow to be better still, to see the sun break through it all with the subtle taint of what was and is, just to know.. just to know..

Tomorrow is all we truly have anymore, even if we never truly have each other
1.5k · Sep 2018
empathy
Axion Prelude Sep 2018
your silent plight begets silent nights
the inaudible whispers haunt us in daunting hollows
insalubrious fervor beseeches thy name
forlorn and lost among creeping doubt
guilt holding refrain from calling to any such fate

with second guess casts shame on second nature
innate profundity loses meaning with time
but all that's known is all that can be
tangible efforts get lost in the shadow of dissonance

my body resonates with such reeling efficacy
empathy goes unheard but your tone still sings truth
such sweetness lost to empty promise reigns defeat and pain
my silent nights beget silent strife
1.3k · Jun 2014
you
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
you
Hearts ecstatic
kindred spirits
thoughts elope

seas wash over like a blanket
warm and quiet words
silent hope

whispers of desire
mired with complexity
patience begetting tranquility

kindness derides fear
stifled anxious inquiry
fate sings eloquently

hand in hand with time defeated
smile to smile the gaze instills
the sun still rises even so

a kiss remembered
our time together
never once forgotten

beauty therein held deep
truly remarkable and unique
my eyes upon you effortlessly
happiness just in knowing

you
Axion Prelude Jul 2014
Perpetuity stifled in motion
Horizon beseeched
Lost in deceit
Engulf effervescent emotion
Drown in ignorance
Love misconstrued
The heart’s elude reality, together
Echoing fate, beating twice
Two souls ignited
Flames burn apart
So close
1.2k · Jun 2014
rapture
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
what drifts between the mired lines of fate and dreams sets free the sorrowed wakening of the harrowed heart.

in cold rapture, time stands still with every word exposed and seen through touching, gazing eyes

each moment gone before begets the forward, eternal march unto dawn

the good bestows lawful effortless bounty of what was always meant to be

two hearts beckon upon each other in torment and rapture, anxiously seething one another

patience values the faithful wrought with time and humbleness
1.2k · Sep 2018
thralls
Axion Prelude Sep 2018
fate befalls coarse dissonance
heartfelt plight, undoing thralls
stalwart cries beckon home
staunch hope redoubtably prevails
pithy, barren, crass, vile
Morose echoes, tinged denial
bemoaning daunting harrow

withered bridges surmise winter's defeat
water flowing effortlessly beneath
ineptitude solemnly secedes
decaying frost bereaves Sun's kiss
a new day.
1.1k · Nov 2014
Solemn
Axion Prelude Nov 2014
Winter burns bright with the fumes of summer, but it’s still just as cold as the hearts that left me in the solemn, snow-filled days of yesteryear.
1.1k · Feb 2015
next
Axion Prelude Feb 2015
I've embraced the touch of hope before
begotten by the echos of yesteryear
where met the feeling of rejoice and love
ended unto abhorrent discourse

unto the mirror reflecting internal strife
sounds of fate resonated within
misguided by the allure of necessity
this soul walked into its own shadow
eyes shining brighter still than the morning dawn
blinded by the sheer audacity
still i may not lose sight of where to place my next step
1.0k · Jul 2014
swimming
Axion Prelude Jul 2014
these ***** eyes, they testify
all the things that bring us further down
and into wasted days of pseudo-hate
and promises of bitterness which dissipates
after summers' days dwindle
out of tune with our heart strings

it leaves us here in surmise of
all the things we sing along together
low and behold
we're still singing the same song either way

like a candle; fire lit at both ends
we meet across a river without a bridge
and hold on tight as we take the plunge
somewhere getting lost beneath the river bed
between these flowing streams of time we live within

and oh
all i want to do is find you there
swimming peacefully waiting to exhale
all the bad things you sigh in bated breath
and still my greatest dream is to breathe you in
1.0k · Jun 2014
conversations
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
go ahead and take my voice for truth
lighthearted fantasies of what could be
scathe or vision with the empty touch of honesty
reaching out through emotion and words alone
never feeling so much of what we'd like to know is wanted

impossible to deny the interpretation
raw with passionate dissonance
and it is sought without moving
stagnant with patience
a belief that something more awaits if taken, the leap

and we speak in the night together, alone
we seek each other out time and time again
but logic has no home here
mired with a false fate but never empty with hope
something we see inside ourselves and each other
agonizing lust and passion creeping through the cold
trying to find a fire for the spark to ignite every intention
and the heart chokes on the meanings of it all

instead we settle to constantly move together
seething motivation through desire
the fear of regret thick in the blood
the heart pumps harder, quicker, hotter
treading on, constantly seeking, hearing, knowing

coloring empty pages of a book neither of us have read
with a sincerity we have no privilege to own yet
and our conversations flow like a stream of heart and mind
carrying us further past the point of no return

the waterfall echoing in the distance with raw reality
exuded from nowhere we expect to see ourselves
but the aching desire to embrace it all rocks me to the core
and I am ready to drown in it all
just to know exactly the meaning behind every word we share
990 · Jun 2014
truth
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
now its time you lay me out to dry
for i have found a way to make a mess of things
without regard to this empty grassy field i see
and no flowers bloom here
just a plush sea of green

so i jumped into the river instead
just to see how long i could hold my breath
but without you to exhale truths i wish to capture
i couldn't hold it long enough to save my life
so i floated on to a shore i could walk upon
solid ground greeting my path

forgive me if i rhyme too much
this music is infectious in my mind
it's got my heart sick without feeling
without passion
and then i see you in there too
and i do believe the cure to sing them is you

and i'm sweating bullets over here for some ammunition
just to see if i can hit my target on the spot
so lets see how close i can make it sweetheart
lets see how close this wish of mine is from the truth
955 · Jul 2014
home
Axion Prelude Jul 2014
i remember a secret i was once told
of all the things you tried to hold
but they slipped away into the night
fading between the shadows cast by the mornings light
the next day they were merely a memory
but you never forgot that pain in reverie
trying to grasp what was lost
in the hopes that when you find it next
it will not rot

but when i saw you there, i knew
what i found was something that drew me in
what i found was an idea lost
ill-begotten by my own memories, past
of all the people that gave up on my heart too

we all become broken at some point
feeling so lost and empty, disjointed from the world
our very bones and heart aching alike
and sometimes when our worlds are shattered
all it takes is time to pick up all the pieces
the little things that mattered most
sometimes lost to the gentle wisp of breath we exhale
a sigh of relief that at the very least
we can finally have the chance to let go
and begin anew

but when i heard your cries and felt your tears
when i saw you smiling with empty fears
that all good things i have to share are fallacies to endure
i knew then that you already had my heart
you were the one i was looking for all along
and i just wanted to embrace every quality of your person
every scar and every bit of pain, i intend to simply take away
and replace it with a warmth to set you aflame
so you may shine brighter than the sun

i know we all sometimes forget who we are
and in those times we fall harder upon our knees
whispering ill omens of fate or fates which can not be
but trust me dear they're right there, for you
from me, they're all i wish to give you, please
just to find a place in my heart that will never let you go
and never let you down, with open arms
i just want to finally give you a place to call your own
i want to give you all my heart, and call it home
909 · May 2014
She
Axion Prelude May 2014
She
Amiss: the times forgotten; bestowed, a dark longing for power. Dried, empty and desolate. The past, a prelude of what is to come.

Desolation is misery's friend. But, the sun rises once more, as always. Complete, soft, warm; dependable, trusting, forgiving.

The light shines bright upon the horizon; and the subtle ache of needing more mires the necessity to beget what is wrought with strife and pale ignorance.

The red rose strives on, besieging my mind with agonizing desire to seed dissonance. Such kindness resonates within me. And the humble tone of honesty cascades a purer meaning.

She eludes me.

Paths cross but once in our lifetime. The choice is there, but the strength is not. The consequences are dire, rich with hate and loss and fear. The outcome? Always unknown.

The rewards? Eternal.
864 · Jun 2014
dream
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
stifle quaint bitterness
superfluous objectivity
scant faces run dire with shame
anger, drilling deeper
resonance in faith; signs of release

chain the lion
thoughts faded into mystery
anesthetize burning eyes with compassion
locked in fate, mired with doubt
seethe life, breathe free

imprisonment forgotten
heart set free
dark sunset, rising grey with deceit
stolen mind, contemplative

foreign feelings
lost to hatred
found again
speak, child
share my heart with all the hurt
suffer no more

found shame
shared destiny
healing, hand in hand
provincial blessing in disguise
amend soiled plight with bold tongues
true words echoing hope

two, lost
both found
dead inside, no more
found home, heart to heart
dream with sleepless nights
awake, together

together
835 · Jul 2014
Love
Axion Prelude Jul 2014
heartstrings unbound
pulled apart like petals
blossoming truth beheld
this is Love
778 · Jun 2014
anxiousness
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
on sacred shores, the patient await their answer. sometimes, that answer never comes.

and as we sit and wait, listening to the cool gentle breeze caressing our face, we like to think and hope that soft touch is the call we've wanted. the aching change in heart, the sound of destiny calling. we hope that once in our life, the emptiness of the room is the sound of the voices we wish and hope will call out our name.

sometimes, we know it's too late or it's too much that we're asking, but still we sit patiently, chanting songs of passionate desolation, hoping our sounds will be heard through these glass walls. fervently, we await, watching as fate passes us by, wondering what we did wrong or what we could have done to save ourselves the grief of never knowing true happiness. the faithless are always content with observing.

when the heart wishes for what's right, the weight of the world seems like nothing for the cost of romantic freedom. desperation lies cold and dead when the soul knows where it needs to go, intent on compromising naivety, showing spite for all things mediocre.

outside, the light shines bright, but inside it is always dark; and we seek warmth, forever. we await in anxiousness for the time we can feel that warmth once more. it is time to move forward.

privileged paranoia respites the remedy for cause and effect - no more
764 · Nov 2020
Natural
Axion Prelude Nov 2020
She was the wind, and he the sea

Her soft kisses commanding his attention; his depth and breadth  embracing her every touch

Apart, two powerful yet gentle beings, existing in tandem

Together, a force to be reckoned with

That is the only love I care to be: unconditional, natural, unrelenting, eternal
734 · Mar 2019
Cold
Axion Prelude Mar 2019
I had a dream, I saw you there
You reached for me
I reached back

Your skin was cold as ice
Scared, you told me to awake
I opened my heart

I had awoken, but you weren't there
The dream is what kept me alive
I had a dream..
Be honest with people. Don't hide anything. Don't lead on, don't contrive meaning or intent.

Hearts break, emotions shut down; listless fortune settles into the crevices where once resided compassion, dreams, and hope for something good.

I am ashamed of how often I come to this place inside. It's a home, it's a prison; it never changes.

I trust too easily.
733 · Aug 2014
real
Axion Prelude Aug 2014
Urges to see, colors to feel, sounds to taste, feelings to hear.. you mesmerize me like the reflection of the sky on the oceans surface: endless in nature, yet always so natural and real
717 · Aug 2015
existence
Axion Prelude Aug 2015
solid lines of hollow words grace the silent light that cascades from the shadows i once use to call home; but all that is left inside are memories that don't even recall where they're from, too

lost, like me, i drift away thinking, sinking in the fade of the background noise in an empty room and even emptier heart, "what have i done to deserve this?"

in sombre tones of misery brought by the face of cowards gnawing at my bones, like winter's cold their words sink in, devastating the sanctity of what hope is left to hold onto

desolation my only true friend, i could always count on knowing nobody would be there, and silence became the last sound i ever heard beyond the heavy expulsion of tears drizzling upon a worthless desk of crushed dreams - beheld, a misery so deep and vast, the mind rots waiting to surmise even the faintest bit of truth in a purpose to be alive at all

never once would defeating pleas make a difference to the blank faces and inset scars running across my skin, because even in a thousand years time spent in either company, the embrace of a blade would always be more welcoming than the sound of their voice, let alone the mere knowledge of their existence

but it was always my existence i got upset about, most
696 · Jul 2014
where are you
Axion Prelude Jul 2014
conflicted misdirection
abhorred nostalgic facade
clever impersonation
tales of redirection
insalubrious misrepresentation
a facetious misdemeanor
aggregated consciousness recalled
tempered with fear and mired respite
"not you" said wisdom
"only you" said the soul
"with you" said the mind
"where are you" wondered the heart
651 · Oct 2018
Untitled
Axion Prelude Oct 2018
Withering kiss belittles fate
Sultry, affluent, perfection lost
a damnation of intent
skewed by empty plight

endearing atrophy weaves no ties
cut from the crowd
whispers seeking place in time
Wreaking havoc upon sullen breadth

dreams disguise desire
the facade awakens every day
the ghostly touch of weightless hands
deliverance, mourning truth
each dream ached by sunder of hope
remiss of such light, I become mired

such calmness and good comes of the night
by day, there resides no such kindness by my side
I await, forever..
kindness means nothing to those who seek to gain for only themselves; the rest simply do not exist near me. Such desired gentleness goes unheard. I wish to have ever beheld a heart who seeks me on its own, before i go

my dreams lie to me, as if to convey what I need most would ever exist; mocking my will to go forward by sharing a taste of what seems, by now, will never be real
650 · Aug 2014
storm
Axion Prelude Aug 2014
Sleepless nights, alone in my head.. but what’s new? It’s 2am, once again, and I’ve gathered by now that nobody seems to have ever truly cared. My story is my favorite book to read, but I have no eyes.. and no ears to listen to my pleas. But, what’s new?

I’m used to it all by now. I just can’t seem to ever get used to being unappreciated, used or ignored. I just want to find my shade in the storm, a place to - once and for all - call ‘home’.

Please, when I get there, just don’t leave me at the door..
629 · May 2014
Lost
Axion Prelude May 2014
Lucid dreams of what could have been; another world or time, the difference staggeringly saddening. The time to find the means to an end goes too fast to comprehend it all as it comes. It floods the brain, the mind and heart. Overwhelming circumstance: motivation lost. Exacerbation kills creativity altogether; and the cycle repeats. I’m lost.
613 · Jun 2014
evermore
Axion Prelude Jun 2014
I saw the sun one morning I awoke to an empty world; a world where nothing meant anything, where the water I tread was not cool to the touch. It was warm to me, unwelcoming, stale, until that discontent was washed away..

Like the Oceans that blanket the land, this home we call ours even without knowledge of each others existence before, you came to me like a gentle clockwork tide. I knew it was you when the sand's edge became painted smooth ..

Like the rocks that build our mountains high, I've stood here alone for years merely listening to everything around me, feeling the cantankerous wind that blows baring down a weathering sting, breaking me down into solemn sands without soft waves to brush my face. Never have those winds blown through me: I've always stood alone.

As I've watched the world unravel in front of me, I've come to learn one harrowing truth that, true to anything in time, all the things that make you and I real can wisp away into dust, then forgotten..

With you, I know that will never happen

As I've always been, the rock, who has stood tall and prominent, you shall be my weathering soul. As are you, the water - ever flowing, ever changing - you shall stay just as the oceans have existed through time. There never need be any worry when the place you come to rest would be my warm heart; the warm beach I've become for you.

I will be the sturdy shore your tides can come and lie upon, embracing every grain warmed by the sun that shines on us both; and as I would be your resting place to call home, so shall you be mine to call my own: Clear waters so cool and welcoming as the open soul you are. I will always be your safe harbor when the winds seethe storms upon the horizon.


In the end, we will always be two souls as one as it will only be my ocean - you - my sea of life that I will fade into. As wave by wave, by each passing day, sifts my sands, I will fade into you evermore and you shall embrace me - with that, we shall always be together, forever.
cir. 4/'11

patience for the one who deserved it, waiting a lifetime for the right moment.

That moment still eludes me..
589 · Sep 2015
Just some last words
Axion Prelude Sep 2015
it comes in different stages for different people. most just feel it like a freight train hitting them square in the chest; the tears are heavy, like iron, falling freely upon their own ghostly will; and then the emotions set in, but the realization always stays the same with everyone, creeping in at a steady pace no matter how strong you think you are. they start slowly from the inside and make a home within the crevice between your heart and lungs, and you cant breathe anymore, you cant think either. your mind becomes consumed, trying to find a light in all this darkness, struggling to find reason and a hope and anything good you can possibly think of just to make sense of the tragedy that has now become like hands around your neck slowly tightening more and more as each day comes and goes

but eventually the reality of it all passes over your head and you come to terms with it and you become okay, one step at a time. you start to rationalize the situation and become more attuned in figuring out how to conclude your own torrent of questions that has since engulfed you with grief for losing someone to a situation you have no conscious comprehension in knowing just how they made such a conclusion to their own person.

and this is how most people think, how most people confide in their knowledge or, even better, lack thereof. to the ones that do not, nor ever will understand or comprehend the situation as to why someone would ever be capable of concluding their own life, i have an insatiable jealousy for your way of thinking. because, ive been in that situation, many times, and it never gets easier. not only unto myself and my own thoughts and my own incredibly overbearing, chest-crushing sort of ostensible and existential pains, but ive been confronted with others', sometimes literally face to face, multiple times.

each time, you think it would become easier and easier to face death eye to eye; you think that, having had so much experience in it, its gaze would become easier to hold, but it never does. and the chills are all the same, no matter how calm on the outside you may seem. the face can be calm, the breathing can be normal, but the mind - in those moments - are most fragile. and the irrationalities and misconceptions become more and more real, like the doubts you have about your own existence become tangible sound; a voice, whispering just out of reach of your audible range, but still close enough to remind you that you're alive and how much you dont want to be just that, all the same.

its as though your heart and very soul becomes a blank slate; a canvas for all the eternally conflicting discrepancies you have felt for your person, painted across it in an erratic splash of blood and tears, left as a reminder to your fears to keep thinking, "is this what i want?" but the only answer you can find is bawling your eyes until your pupils become red and rash from dryness, for days the strenuous pounding of your heart being the only true friend you have left on this planet, but all you can do is listen and talk to yourself in that familiar emptiness you have nothing else to call but "home."

for people like me, like us, we come to find the answers are always hidden in the places we can never reach; a scorn to our testament that is our life, seething in dissonance for all things "good" and "normal," echoing blank chanting of empty fate and faithless days where we don't know who we are or why we're here no better than anyone else would think if you were to ask them, but the difference being that we hold these devaluations to be true every waking hour. we don't sleep sound and we don't taste the same sweetness normal people do; where in the shadows of others, we feel safest, but the darkness is all we have and all we've ever known. and by normal, i don't mean better. i just mean different. and it's our difference we strive to convey, but the message always goes unheard, like yelling in your sleep: our words become quicksand and we have nothing left to show for it until it's utterly too late and we have no other choice to make.

but for the ones that have to see others making the conclusion before you, the struggle to find peace begins anew, one person at a time. First the chills, the denial that it happened at all. Then the anger swirls like goosebumps on your skin, as real as any other pigment or scar you find, but you can't pick it away, nor does it wash off just like that. It sticks with you, it becomes a part of you, forever. Then the sadness comes, the realization that they're gone, and that's that.

And sometimes, there comes a breakdown. You begin to quiver in your eyes and lip, suffocating on the urge to keep in the inevitable tears you are completely powerless to; but it happens anyways, day after day, without any recourse or decision on your part to stop it all the same as those who took themselves. And now you're not even awake anymore, but you feel like you're stuck dreaming even when you're "awake," reaching at every corner of the planet just to find an anchor to reality. you begin reaching for your phone or going online, hoping to find some sort of alternative to what is happening in the moment; a message, a voice, anything just letting you know “everything is okay, this isn’t real,” all the while thinking that if you search at all then those answers will be had, as simple as that. but you always know it's never true and it's never like that at all, and you realize it has happened, because it already did

You're literally alone and helpless to your own self-defeating mechanical failure – your body and movements become stiff, your energy completely gone and your thoughts drifting into blankness. in one last effort, you think to yourself people might help. But the same people that put you in that position to feel that level of misery are useless and provide no bastion of hope or faith that things will be okay, so you give up not only on them, but everyone. because the ones who should matter most and love you with the greatest kind of love, you should come to expect would be there for anything. and they're not, and you have no clue what to do, so you're left trying to ask the questions, fighting with your own consciousness just to provide a means for comfort from somewhere or something. but it's always the same: you become lost again, and the questions fade.

And you fall asleep in your own mind, mute to everything and everyone. And you're burdened by the weight of this loss, and the loss of innocence years ago, and the loss of your faith. everything becomes past tense, but you're used to it, yet it never gets easier. the listlessness is your voice now, and you're dead on the inside, sitting there alone, remembering where your feelings started to lead you to this dark place once more where the thoughts become wishes and the wishes become motivation to conclude the very same things. and sometimes, you dont want to, but sometimes, the fate you felt were on your heels for as long as you can remember, it jumps forward and holds its hand out, and by that moment, its just inevitable the only thing you have left to do

nobody can change that. you can only choose to change yourself. but sometimes, its just too hard to do anything at all. and the moment passes, and tomorrow is just another day. but this time, its a little bit harder, because your steps forward become quite a bit heavier with the unwarranted burden of grief knowing you have to move on without your friend, because now they're gone, and because of this, a small part of you wishes you were too.
585 · Sep 2018
leap
Axion Prelude Sep 2018
Alive, alone, derided through and through

You know you get me
But when I'm alone.. I become sane, again
troubled with the mess of realizing
reality isn't my forte, it's the dreams I live in
and the hopes I'm not given

Disdained, begetting songs of true fortune
You know it's crazy to think of anything before you
and even then, I realized I didn't have anything planned

I know you didn't want to see this coming
and neither did I
The silver linings are once in a lifetime
we get the chance to divine upon;
But there's never a greater time to behold except right very much now

I know you said you couldn't do it alone, but look at you now
stoic, yet holding your own
Tattered and barren but never too far from the hope we knew we needed
And it's a mystery why things never stay the same no matter how much
In the end everything seems to be
Invariably never changing

old habits dying with the wishes we had yesterday
But it's cool
I see you there and all I could ask of you is
Simply you

There's no defeat that is what we ultimately asked for
But I'll never presume what I have, what I want, what I know
It's all only what you care to choose
Your smile begets my own

By now, I feel, the notion has gotten a little overboard
the motion of it all being
Self defeating
Just as these words drip from my fingers
I can't stop seeing..

But they'll never change, unlike the rest..
And no, I'm not saying I'm anywhere **** near being the best
For you, or anyone
But what I can purvey is all the trust that's been given thus far
It's not natural unless it comes deep within our own hearts to convey
And I appreciate it, like cherishing a perfect day you can't forget

Because it came from somewhere knowing you well enough; deep down, among all the stricken dusty irony
Designed in purgatory, awaiting, sophisticated
the drudgery seems to fall away when we're just speaking at or especially with each other

But I still know, even in all of this, I am alone to think of such inspiring bliss
It comes off as moronic banter
Meaningless and disgusting just like the rest before me
But that's not me at all, and just maybe with time you'll get to know that best

You were afraid, then..
You'll be afraid tomorrow
and even then, I'll know never to impose
That's not what I want to do
That's not any sole truth
I just want to hear and know you're having a good day

All I could ever ask is simply you; and I'll be right here
Where we both fell in plight
Singing all the empty little things
We call life's, little, circumstances
Let's take chances, and leap into the unknown

For once, for good, for now; all spared meanings
Serving nothing and nobody proud, but rather still
Emotionless, soulless, deep and profoundly undertaken  
Shaken, wreaking havoc on their own flightless, droll, uncured soul

Sometimes we fall for the things we think are good for us
It echoes in the past as pain and regret
When, truthful, ironically
We tend to fall just trying to make a leap of faith on any first thing that brings us any hope to know "I'm okay" when in reality it's just false truths that bestow wrongdoing


And when something good actually happens upon our doorstep
The only way we seem to go is back, taken, breathless with deceit
Convinced what's here and now isn't anything that's good or worth our time
Irony seethes there, cold and barren
You never know, until you just know..
I'm talking about a true leap, in the right direction

Not desperate, or disparaging
Not profoundly meaningless or unshaken
Something bold enough to cover the scars and defeat with a kindness, a goodness, a righteousness strong enough to say
"hey, I think I'm going to be okay" and nothing more simple or complex as that

And if you want to get up and walk around, we'll so do I; and I could never want for more than to simply have the pleasure of spending that time together
Against all odds and defying all the redundant nuance

Derided, through and through.. Lost but never alone
Gone but never too far
And all I could every truly, simply, kind ask for is..
All that could ever be perceived as expected is everything that couldn't be thought of or imagined. The only thing we are capable of expecting is the utterly unexpected.

It'll never happen. Part of me isn't okay with that. Not through fear, or anger, but a resounding sadness knowing there's literally only one, and that will simply never exist elsewhere.

A quaint, smitten echo of somber defeat rings with every exhale.
558 · Aug 2014
concluding
Axion Prelude Aug 2014
I'm looking for something real (with you), but not expecting a single thing. Just hoping that in return someday the feelings can be the same. Yet in between now and then, hope slides away, hides away in a place where no shame is born in here; unafraid to make the right choices and to say all the things I mean to say to you and only you.

It all holds meaning beyond what is said, much further than face value, coming straight from within my own head and deep within my being. Dignity and pride suffice to say the least of what my heart truly sings for you. In rapture, torn between waiting to see where this all goes and finding peace in knowing you're here at all sends me stumbling through the feelings, engulfed in a torrent of know how, deciding; always concluding that the truth is the only key to happiness, even yours. So that's all I ever give you.

and truth be told: just knowing you're in my life at all makes me the happiest man alive, but I would wait forever just to find out whether you'd ever choose to be happy with me as an 'us' - me and you.
491 · Dec 2014
felt
Axion Prelude Dec 2014
i retain the strength of character that of the ocean’s floor

unwavering in nature, i do not break; i do not change, i merely drift and shape and form along with the currents as they bear their weight upon me.

but my weakest shortcoming is that i reside in permanent darkness- unknown, unheard and unseen where it is infinitely cold and quiet, alone

i simply wish, even if merely for one day in my life, to feel like the sun: warm, bright and seen by all; needed, known and felt.
484 · Jun 22
strings
Axion Prelude Jun 22
We did it again
Dancing in halls we never knew
You woke up fate just to let it fade
Never pull on heart strings
Unless you're willing to take the reins
477 · Nov 2020
Shine
Axion Prelude Nov 2020
As sure as I breathe, I desire you; like the rain desires to fall, like the light desires to shine; I fell for you, and my heart stays warm with days brightened by thoughts of us
452 · Jan 2015
Prose
Axion Prelude Jan 2015
i feel like i am a lost sonnet, born amongst a world designed to only listen to its own prose
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