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Autumn Sep 2015
My chest has been hurting
And I don't know if it's
A medical issue or an
Emotional issue.
Autumn Oct 2014
Everyone has a 3 a.m.

Someone you know you can call no matter the time
even if it was 3 a.m. they would come.

It's your best friend
It's your older sister
It's your mother or father.

Everyone has a 3 a.m.

Someone who without a doubt
will be there for you and come to you
when you need them most.

Everyone has a 3 a.m.
Scratch that.
Everyone needs a 3 a.m.

I do not have a 3 a.m.

I have a "best friend"
I have an "older sister"
I have a "mother and father"

I do not have a 3 a.m.

I do
however
need one.
Autumn Nov 2014
You're one out of seven billion.
That means there's about 6,999,999,999 other people
perfectly capable of taking your place.

You're seven billion out of one in my head.
And for some reason I am completely
incapable of getting a grip on anything else.
Autumn Jul 2014
It’s funny I even address you as Q. I never knew you as Q. I knew you as Quentin H. At least, that’s the name I associated with you in Elementary school. We went to the same Elementary School for seven years. We talked every now and then; however, we weren't exactly best friends. You passed away on my sixteenth birthday. From now on when I hear your name the first thing that will come to my mind is ‘oh that’s the boy I grew up with that drowned on my birthday.’ And deep down I know that’s wrong to think but I cannot help from thinking that.
Whenever I heard your name before today I thought of something different. It was just a normal day in early elementary. I believe it was second or first grade. For all I know it could have been third. It doesn't matter. We were young. That’s all that matters.
You asked me if I could open your soda bottle. Me believing I had a chance to prove how strong I was took the challenge eagerly not noticing that you had shook it under the table before handing it over. I opened it and in a matter of seconds I was completely covered in sticky soda. My outfit ruined, and my lunch ruined. You laughed and I cried.
Me being the responsible child I tattled on you and you got a slap on the wrist while I had to eat a cheese sandwich. Keep in mind I despise cheese. It was by far the worst lunch of my life.
Until Today.
I had just found out you had passed and I didn't eat lunch. I couldn't eat lunch. How could someone I watched grow alongside me be gone in a matter of minutes?
I would eat a million cheese sandwiches just to have you back.
I cannot go on social media. I try and all I see are pictures of your memorial or a picture of you with the word RIP underneath it. I believe you deserve more than just an RIP.
You were a fantastic human being even though I didn't know you as well in your last years. You apologized for the soda incident and I can say I forgive you.
You didn't deserve this fate. No one deserves this fate. But there must be some reason you were called upon in order for the promising future in your grasp to be taken away. God needed you. Heaven needed you.
Heaven gained one hell of an angel on July 14th 2014 at five in the morning.
I know this isn't a poem but it's a letter that I feel is really special to share.
Autumn Oct 2014
Darling,
in the event of a zombie apocalypse,
I’m gonna marry you.
I know, that romantic testimonial
isn’t quite the matrimonial proposition
you were expecting,
but I’m projecting a lovely future for us!

You see, when the dead break free,
I’ll come save you.
I’ll be your knight in shining Kevlar,
your cranium-crushing crusader,
and safe in our barricaded bungalow,
we’ll match moans for groans
with the shambling horde outside.

We’ll make love ’til death do we part,
or at least til we start
to run out of supplies,
and if we get in a pinch,
I’ve got a surprise:
see, I’ll paralyze them with poetry,
’cause if there’s anything
a zombie understands, it’s desire.

Meanwhile,
you lay down suppressive fire
and we’ll take out as many as we can.
If in the end we are overrun,
I’ll let them take me
so you can get away.

They can have my brain–
it’s my heart that beats for you.
Autumn May 2014
Man has been gifted a great prize
Although they never assumed it would be their demise
Centuries ago the technology produced
Relied upon humans for a little boost
However now it seems every thought by a man
Requires for technology to come up with the plan
It seems man's intelligence has began to backtrack
Similar to being subdued in a flashback
All the knowledge they've acquired
Is something that cannot not be admired
Their lives are corrupted by the media
They get information from the Internet- not by encyclopedia
There is still a chance for them to turn it all around
And use these faults to help with the rebound
However if they continue on as shown
Their advancements will soon be marked with a headstone.
Autumn Nov 2014
This isn't my real name
This isn't my real home town
This isn't my real biography

These are my real words
These are my real thoughts
These are my beliefs

You don't need my name to know me
You don't need my place of birth
You don't need my biography

I can remain anonymous
and you can still know who I am.
Autumn Mar 2016
Do not trust boys
who kiss you in your drive way.
If they can't make it to the front door
there must be something wrong.

I have had many first kisses in my driveway
and every boy that has given me one
has turned out sour.
Do not trust boys who kiss you in your drive way.

If they are too lazy to walk the extra ten feet to your front door
then they are most likely too lazy to walk
the extra mile in a relationship.
Effort is key my friend.

I cannot bare to stand in my driveway.
Memories come flooding in
from this boy and that.
Do not trust boys that kiss you in your driveway.
Trust me on that.
Autumn Nov 2014
Here I am making excuses for you.
Saying:
             He didn't know I was there.
             He didn't see me walk by.
             He didn't get my text.
             He didn't have a good day.
             He didn't have a day off this week.
No longer am I making excuses for you.
So here's what I am saying:
             You didn't try hard enough.
Autumn Nov 2014
Knowing why you left
won't make you come back
you're gone for good
and I've come as close to terms with it
as humanely possible
but I need to know why
that way when the next one comes around
I can hold on for good.
Autumn Mar 2014
Poems are known to be depressing
And that is the truth
Everyone knows it
Everyone has written one.

I will admit I have written several
It just makes you feel like you are doing something more productive
than wallowing in self pity
But what about the happy ones?

The ones that instead of making you shed a tear
Make you smile from ear to ear.
The ones that rhyme
and talk about a love that's lasted the length of time.

The ones that make you warm
And in your stomach butterfly's swarm
And everything seems colorful
and life is plentiful.

The ones that talk the greatness of life
O'how grand it is and always has been.
How possibilities are endless and
Dreams can come true.

But there are naysayers
But there are people who prefer darkness
But there are people who despise light
But they don't need to twist your thoughts.

Their thoughts can drag you down with them
They can twist our minds.
But.

Get rid of the negative thoughts.
Try bringing them up with you
Show them lightness and how if you dream hard enough
The sun can shine!
Autumn Jul 2014
It's weird to think you are actually gone.
It's weird.

You were my age.
You were one of the nicest people I knew.
And now you're gone.

I guess when they say
Only the good die young.
There's truth in that.

Because you were good.
And you were young.
And now you're gone.
A boy I grew up passed away on my birthday yesterday. I don't know what to feel. I don't know what to say. Just know QH; you've got a lot of people down here praying for you. Heaven just gained one hell of an angel.
Autumn Nov 2014
I have so many issues
It's quite hard to explain.

So if you find that I'm worth it
You need to learn to stay through the rain.
Autumn Nov 2014
Is it worth it if
you make me
frustrated
more often
than
you make me giddy?
Autumn Nov 2014
I wonder what your motive was
for killing me
for leaving me to just my thoughts
for being the hand that crushed my heart.

I died
and I have no idea what for.
Autumn Jun 2014
Look at your surroundings.
If you are surrounded by people that care for you
I have succeeded.

Listen to your surroundings.
If you hear "I love you's"
I have succeeded.

Feel your surroundings.
If you are comfortable with the life you're living
I have succeeded.

Look around once more.
If I have made you into something I thank God for everyday
**I have succeeded.
Autumn Jun 2014
Do not feel bad for me.
Do not feel sad for me.
Do not feel mad for me.
I am completely capable of feeling for myself.
Autumn Oct 2014
I long to reach out to you
But something is holding me back
It's the thought that maybe you don't want me to
And that's enough for me to stay put.
Autumn Nov 2014
This sorrow
this confusion
this loneliness
is no where near ideal

but
      it
         makes
                    the
                          best
                                 poetry.
Autumn Mar 2014
The Author's space consisted of lavender walls.
Hardwood Floors.
A stack of books for the night stand.
Coffee stained mugs on the dining table.

It had paintings of all sorts.
Not yet bloomed plants scattered here and there.
An orange Afghan lay across the leather couch.
Muddied boots by the door.

Now the author's house.
A whole other story.
Blank white walls.
White carpeted floors.
Clean tables.
Glass nightstands.

But as the Author wrote in his notebook.
The white velvet couch changed to worn leather.
His Styrofoam cup turned to stained ceramic.
His glass nightstand now old paperbacks.

His  imagination now working wonders.
Autumn Mar 2014
We were best friends.
You were mine
And I was yours
We were inseparable.

We shared dreams.
You had yours
And I had mine
But they were compatible.

We talked of the future.
You shared your ideas
I shared mine
But they were includable.

High school came around
You changed
I did not

When we were young
Your parents were alcoholics.
You would tell me your fear
How you did not want to become them.

But soon the darkness crept
It grabbed us both.
I was able to tear free
However
You were not.

We were strangers.
You didn't look at me
I didn't look at you
We were irreparable.

I finally reached out to you
Asked how you were
What you were doing
Fine.
You said.

It sounded like you were trying to persuade yourself
Not me
But before I got the chance
To ask how you really were
You took another shot of that darkness.
You took another hit of that darkness.

And I took another step back.
Autumn May 2014
Stephon kissed me in the spring,
Robin in the fall,
But Colin only looked at me
And never kissed at all.

Stephon's kiss was lost in jest,
Robin's lost in play,
But the kiss in Colin's eyes
Haunts me night and day.
This isn't my poem. It was written by Sara Teasdale. I just love it's simplicity.
Autumn Nov 2014
The same alternative track plays on loop
I haven't gotten that sick of it yet
luckily.

You got sick of me
however
and here I am still stumbling across songs
looking for some sort of answer to why you left

I keep getting stuck on the same one
oddly enough it paints a picture of
well
us
or what used to be us
and then suddenly disappeared.

I am broken
like a scratched record.
I hurt and I stutter and skip and I have no idea where I am or where you went to.

But now you're gone
and
your soundtrack still lingers.
Autumn Sep 2016
He looked like a mixture
Of my last ex-boyfriend
And the boy that
Passed my senior year of
High school.

The perfect balance of
One of my mistakes
And
One of God's mistakes.

But the book he was reading screamed
Dan.
And I hadn't thought
About Dan since June
And I had hoped
To keep it that way.

But here I was opening the flood gates.
And I couldn't get a proper grasp on anything.
And my handwriting was so shaky it was almost illegible.
Autumn Dec 2014
You were the cause of the worst week of my life.
You caused a week of torture.

A week of misery.
A week of pain.
A week of weight gain.
A week of sad songs.
A week of only talking to my dog.
A week of re-blogging sad quotes on tumblr.
A week of night sky pictures with sad captions.
A week of not knowing which way was up.
A week of only heading down.
A week of tiredness.
A week of hell.
A week of being weak.

But just as much as
someone can run out of strength;
someone can run out of weakness.

I am done being weak.
This week is over.
You showed me how weak I can be
So now it's time I show you just how strong I can be.
Autumn Jul 2014
The older you get
the more you need the people you knew
when you were young.

The problem is

The older you get
the less the people you knew
when you were young
need you.
Autumn Nov 2014
I care
That you don't care

And you don't care
That I care

Oh how I wish I knew how to be careless.
Autumn Nov 2014
I want to be worried about.

Not in the "she'll do something reckless" way.

But in the:

Did I say that right?
Does she like me back?
Does she love me back?
Would it be weird to text her and tell her I had a good time?
Even though I just saw her is it weird to call?
I miss her voice, does she miss mine?
Do I need to tell her I love her more?
Am I telling her I love her too much?
Does she miss me?

kind of way.

— The End —