When I was just 14
I met a girl who looked like me
But there were differences
I truly couldn’t help but see

Like the way that her smile
Never seemed to reach her eyes
The ones of which I swear
Were long since devoid of life

I saw the way her hands
Cradled her own heart
The ones by which I know
Her own thighs were carved

And I could see her fighting
The dire urge to scream
And refusing to give in
To the cry she truly needs

-ARI

She is
The late night
Drunken stupor
Resulting from a too
Expensive liquor night.

She is
The silent
Dinner hastily set
For one, with enough
Wine to knock out three.

She is
The shattered
Windshield creating
Mosaic pieces splayed
Across asphalt; irreparable.  

She is
The yesterday of
My revived soul and
Mind; never forgotten, yet
Finally forgiven for my scars.

-ARI

The sound of her breathing
Had faded away
As did the sound
Of her weary heart beating

Eyelids laid heavy
Against lifeless cheeks
So many mouths around her
Not one dared to speak

Her hands felt foreign
Too cold; too blue
Daddy softly whispered
"God say it's not true"

At 16 he should be teaching
Her exactly how to drive
Grasping his seatbelt
Praying for dear life

Instead he's left staring
At her name carved in stone
It's proof that his precious girl
Is never coming home

So he cries upon the earth
Where his daughter lies
Swallowed by the pain a parent
Feels when their child dies

He cries for all the years
She will never live
For all the tender love
She will never know or give

He cries for all the memories
She will never get to make
For her picture on his nightstand
His heart a constant ache

He cries for his little girl
Who will never have the chance to be
The beautiful young lady
Who turned 17.

-ARI

I once heard a story
Of a boy who loved a girl.
I heard she let him love her
Until her mind grew bored.

Then she packed his measly bags
And kicked him to the curb.
She crushed his bleeding heart
On his way out the door.

He never even had the chance
To scrape the pieces off her porch.
Now there is a jagged cavern
Burned into his broken chest.
Filled with *****,self-hate, and ***

He never even had a chance.

-ARI

Seven years ago today
I was rolling my eyes
As you teased your sister and me.

Seven years ago today
My best friend and I
Stormed out in anger because of you.

Seven years ago today
We were counting down
The weeks until you moved away.

Seven years ago today
I heard you laughing
Triumphantly over winning the remote.

Seven years ago tomorrow
I cried with my friend
Begging for you to open your bruised eyes.

In two weeks it will be seven years,
Since I watched them bury you.
I'm still waiting for you to come home.

-ARI

Please
do not tell me
that you love me

Because
Ill be the girl
who broke your heart

For
I do not know
how to love back

Please
do not be angry
when I leave you

Because
I am the one
who always gets away

For
Im not the girl
for someone to love

-ARI

Ive thought of you often
This past month
Often lost inside my head.

Ive thought of your dark brown eyes
Made up of
Mischief and practical jokes.

Ive thought of you laughing
Sometimes at me
Although usually, we laughed together.

Ive thought about all of us
Four best friends
Loud, young, and inseparable.

You were the big brother
Of us all
By blood for them; by heart for me.

We use to dream of
Being forever invincible
Until that one November day.

I Imagine what your face looked like
When you realized
Your car was no longer safe.

I will always remember the looks
Upon theirs faces
When that doctor told us to say goodbye.

November 23rd became the day
Four became three
As the innocence was bled from our hearts.

Sometimes I wish I could forget
Youre now gone
But I don't want to forget you.

-ARI

I seem to be
yet again,
trapped by your voice.
Your words acting
As a spindle
Wrapping me tightly
around your finger.

Your "love" seeming
to be,
as a hour glass.
Quickly flowing
Yet slowly dwindling
And soon to come
To a forever ending.

You always leave me
Feeling like,
A doll left alone.
My marble eyes
Shining yet empty
As you gaze at me
From a far.  

-ARI

There was a time
I sat alone

empty heart
broken soul

I spoke not
for words escaped me

my fingers trembled
bones all aching

I thought it better
for no one to know

I wanted to leave
but had no where to go

-ARI

There's a little boy
Drawing in his room
Momma comes and sees
A vibrant ocean blue

He says mom would you like to know
Why this painting is my life
And why this image in my head
Haunts me every night?

When you look at the ocean
You only take the time to see
What's on the surface
You don't know what lurks beneath

You see blue skies and birds
Hugging the salty water
You don't see the shark below
Devouring someone's daughter

And over in that corner
A ship has sunken down
It took a family with it
All the children drowned

But over on that beach
So many people play
They won't acknowledge the danger
For that would ruin their day

I feel much like the ocean
People only come when all is calm
But when everything is upside down
Suddenly they're gone.

Doctors post videos of me laughing
And photos full of smiles
But when I need the cure
There's silence stretched for miles.

They say I am a warrior
They call me brave and strong
But for this I've had no training
They've never been more wrong.

-ARI

Child
Waiting
Eyes searching
Torn heart pleading
For a new family to take him home
A family with forever in mind
Another day
No one came
Please wait
Child

-ARI

I traveled the world today,
With little Ms.Maryk.
We snuck through all the shadows,
And found a magical way.

We climbed to the tallest tower,
And stayed ‘til the latest hour.
We marched ‘cross the murky river,
Then went home to take a shower.

We went to every city known,
To see all of their treasures shown.
We finally met Petter Pan,
He said to never be all grown.

We swam through the wild sea,
And ran from a giant bee!
Oh the fun we had today,
Just ‘lil Marykate and me.

-ARI

Dear future generations,


         I
               am
                         so
                                 sorry...


You will never know
The sweet freedom from technology
As you spend hours stargazing
During sweet summer nights.

You will know
Far more fear than I could imagine
From the hate, anger, and deceit
Todays generations have created.

You will never know
The feeling of pride as your parents
Watch you succeed at something so small
With no phone pressed in their hand.

You will know
Bone breaking anxiety; depression
From the relentless stress to be perfect
According to societies twisted image.

You will never know
The joy of spending countless hours of
Exploring the outside world with only the
Clothes on your back and a friend beside you.

You will know
A world of color, laughter, and friends,
All within a screen, but turn off you device;
Your world is empty; your life is in pixels.

-ARI

Go
Run
Faster
Quickly
You
Must
Escape

Don't
look
Back
Never
Stop
Being
Afraid

For
Beauty's
Nothing
More
Than
Society's  
Torture

-ARI

Everyone's a poet
Some simply have no clue,
But answer me one question;
What is a poet to you?

For me a Poet is a person,
a place, or thing;
To bring out such emotion
To make you cry or sing.

I know it may seem crazy,
But Darling look around;
A picture tells a story
Without a single sound.

A flower whispers truth
So softly in the ear
Of every child to close their eyes
So their hearts can hear.

A simple stone; grey and new
Could bring a proud man to his knees.
From his fathers name engraved;
Each letter tangled in his grief.

An unused baby blanket
Folded neatly in a woman's lap
Whispers what could've been
Of her child who will 'ever nap.

A sunrise over water
Rushing quickly past a bridge;
'Ever sings the tender stories
Of a young couple's marriage.

A man who neither speaks nor hears
Sits at home 'ever lonely,
But in a book upon his desk
He's etched vibrant sounds into his story.

You see, everyone's a poet
Some simply have no clue,
But answer me one question;
What is a poet to you?

-ARI

Poetry,
Such a simple word.
Though it carries such meaning
For a broken little girl
Such as myself.

Pathetic,
Im sure is how I seem.
For the nights I cried alone
With red angry liquid
Dripping from my arms.

Relieved,
Is what I began to feel.
When I found poetry spilling
From the bruised pores
Of my twisted mind.

Alone,
I no longer felt.
For as long as I had a pen and paper,
I was always safe and free
I no longer screamed.

Words,
Became my saving grace.
As they formed in the wet ink
I put onto my paper
I could write forever.

Dark,
Is how my poetry is seen.
People always ask me if I am alright
I tell them it should be obvious
That I am.

Paper,
That is what I take my anger out on.
I no longer hate myself
Because poetry taught me
To always write it out.


-ARI

You look at me
As if Im already broken
Soon Im going to shatter

For I can not seem to explain
The reasons for the demons
Knocking on my door.

-ARI

It took me five years
To find red lipstick wearing courage

It took you five days
To steal it


-ARI

I was but
A girl, momma
Only seven candles
On my cake.
Though my eyes
Are 'ever closed
My rainbow soul
Shall never break.

-ARI

I stand; barely breathing
Beneath the shower spray
As her blood drips slowly
From my finger tips
Mixing with the water
Dancing at my feet

I felt no remorse
Watching red fade to pink
For the only little girl
Ive ever made bleed
Is the one in the mirror
Always taunting me

-ARI

Men **** men
Then kiss the
Rosaries around
Their necks.

ARI

I have often wandered
Through the forests in his mind.
'Ever changing landscape
I've been lost in too many times.

I have calmed countless storms
Even as they've damaged me.
'Ever striking lightening causing
The roots of his soul to bleed.

I alone have discovered
Caverns hidden in his head.
Dark and  jagged memories
He never meant to be said.

I have climbed mountain
Peaks piercing the crystal sky.
Such vibrant rays of smiling sun;
You'd never guess he wished to die.

-ARI

Not a word or sound
come from your trembling lips
But the tears upon your face
Seem to scream the things
You will not say

-ARI

I walk peacefully
Pacing the shore

With sand scratching
Beneath my toes

Gentle waves washing
Against beaten stones

Strong boats bravely
Exploring the horizon

This is always
Where happiness happens.

-ARI

Help
I scream
Hands shaking
I am broken
Laying on the floor cold and abandoned
I deserve this; I did it to myself
With blades to skin
Every wish
To be
Thin

-ARI

I told you that you gave me scars
And the look upon your face
Was that of deep despair.
Your eyes met mine and I watched
As pain and guilt filled them
I couldn't help but smile.

For scars are what we receive
When damage to our bodies heal
And the pain we felt starts to leave.
I had many open wounds
Across my tattered soul and heart
I could barely manage to breathe.

But you wound your arms lovingly Around my waist and you held
My shattered soul together.
Your kiss upon my once shy cheek
Seeped deeply into my aching chest
As the salve my burnt heart needed.

You gave me angelic scars of which
Are the product of your touch
Weaving together my brokenness.
The scars you gave me
Have made me whole in every way
I love our intricate scars.

-ARI

Im just a little bit broken right now
Torn into so many pieces.
My heart is calling out your name
But isn't getting the answer it wants.
I know I should leave you right now
Since I always have to whisper when im around you.
But its easier said than done
Guess Im just gonna have to suffer.

-ARI

Yesterday

a momma dreamt
of rocking her little girl
while she read sweet stories
of a fairy tale world

a father dreamt of smiling
while he shook his sons hand
the day that little boy
became an honorable man

a big brother dreamt
of the day that his mother
would finally bring home
his new baby brother

Today
a momma's rocking
her precious little girl
afraid come tomorrow
she'll no longer be in this world

a father is crying
while he holds his own hand
for his perfect little boy
will never grow into a man.

our children are dying,
at least seven a day
their siblings are lying
saying they'll be okay.

tubes like little serpents
cover their beds
they’ve little to no hair
on their sweet little heads

September is here
now our voices will be heard
our words will reach
every inch of this earth.

-ARI

No one ever listened
To the words I had to say
Maybe when Im gone
They'll feel the words
Written by my shame

-ARI

Breathe me in my dear
Her claws creeping down my throat
Ana's here to stay

-ARI

Loving her was like
Dying every morning.

You never really  
Lived, for her
Sadness 'ever grew as  
Depression's immortal vines    
Painfully crushed your bones.

Thoughts of suicide poison
Hearts of defeated sisters
Hurting far too much to pray.

-ARI

I watched you when we were younger
I listened to your words.
I played by your rules
And followed you tender laughter.
Years later down the road
We walked side by side always.
No secrets hung between us
Only shared stories surrounded us.
Then one day our nightmares broke free
Of the cages they were locked in.
Now Ive watched you die a hundred times
Yet each time felt brand new.
Ive watched you fall apart
And knew you couldn't see me anymore.
You only felt my arms wrapped around you
Keeping you from falling to the ground.
My words floating around you
Trying to caress your battered heart.
I tried to help you
But you were broken.
Now I lay here helplessly
Now youre gone and I am broken.
Im sorry I let you go
Im sorry I couldn't save you like I promised I would.

-ARI

I swear she calls to me
For I can hear
Her every word caressing my soul.

I swear she needs me
Just as much
As I crave to sew her into my heart.

I swear I love her
With every ounce
Of my 'ever wandering soul.

I swear I cannot live
Much longer
Without my sweet Adventure.

-ARI

Sweet little heart;
a shiny new clock
that wouldn't start.

-ARI

I'm sorry I couldn't save you
I swear to you I tried.
I had no clue you were so broken
I wish you hadn't lied.
I knew one day you'd leave me
For the depression you couldn't hide.
You told me you had a solution
I just never thought it suicide.

-ARI

Dear darkness surrounding me,
do me a favor,
And come swallow me.
i cant take anymore of this,
Im falling into your nothingness.

-ARI

Can you look me in the eye?
Tell me exactly why?

Whisper the secret of how you fell
So swiftly under my gentle spell?

Will you press your lips to mine?
Give me a kiss to stop all time?

-ARI

Dear brother
It's been a while
Since I've had the
Chance to make you smile.

And I miss
The way it used to be
When we'd go
Driving; just you and me.

Blasting hours of music
Just 'cause we could
Screaming Taylor Swifts
"Our we out of the woods!"

Dear brother
It's been many months
Since the day that
You left us.

The promise you made;
Do you remember?
Saying you would
Often send a letter.

And our sweet mother
Bless her heart,
Still checks the mail;
It always tears her apart.

Dear brother,
It's me again.
I never guessed this
Is how your life would end.

The red, white, and blue,
Folded perfectly in
Mothers arms, for her son
Who's fight was true.

And the 3-volley salute
For the twenty-two
Too young in boots.
Twenty-two gone too soon.

Oh The 3-volley salute

-ARI

The freckles across her unknown face
Were like stars kissing her cheeks
And I was envious of them.

The scars across her tired legs
Like a map showing me each place
Her mind has ever been.

Her weary chest a living urn
Holding ashes of which I have learned
Are from her love now dead.

The smile sweet upon her lips
Fake as the words on an actors script
But few will ever know that truth.

The liquid drowning her bright eyes
'Ever ignored like time passing by
Now finally I can see her.

-ARI

From mothers arms and fathers feet
To shaking hands and ***** streets.

From sweet smiles and tender kisses
To a lost little child no one misses.

From overalls and teddy bears
To daytime tears and nighttime scares.

From bubble bathes and lullabies
To scarred up skin and lifeless eyes.

From parks filled with plastic slides
To a box with nails stuck in its sides.

-ARI