Breathe in, Breathe out
Why the hell
Do you worry about
What others think of you?
Get up, move on
Don't let them
Drag you along
Their road of misery.

And they say
You're never gonna make it
You're never gonna find it
That sweet love
You're wanting oh
Girl just give it up.

Cause, you aren't good enough
Girl you should wander off
No one wants a mind like yours, oh no
Cause your lips aren't sweet enough
Oh girl just give it up
You're never gonna find someone
Who wants to love you.

Bruised heart, solemn eyes
Little girl wanting to know why
She is the way she is.
Shaking hands, trembling knees
Begging herself just to leave
But she couldn't move.

And now she's
Lost to the wilderness
Made up of emptiness
But she doesn't want to live
Here anymore.

So she's standing tall
Against her fears
She's gonna get out of here
And she wont let them
Hurt her anymore.

Breathe in, breathe out
She finally knows
What she's about.
Head held high
Shoulders squared
Now she knows
She never belonged there.

-ARI

Soul deep exhaustion
Penetrating my 'ever weary bones.

All the bad in my life
Crowding my throat; Suffocating me.

Life's twisted imagery;
Gut wrenching hate waltzing in my head.

I cannot find freedom
From ever changing scenery in my heart.

-ARI

She loved people
She hadn't meant to love.
They'd take her heart
But it was never enough
They'd hold her up  
Throw her down
Leave her trembling on the ground.

They often made her listen to their laughter
always seeming to be after
The leftover pieces of her weary soul
But when that girl was alone
Her eyes would close and her lips would cry

"One day Ill climb so high
I will own the sky
I will never cry again.
One day the sun will rise
And I'll be right by its side
Together we'll forever shine."


She hoped for things
She never should have dreamed.
Like a loving man
Who always brought her peace.
For with that fantasy inside her head
She looked for love
In an unkind man.
He'd hold her close
Kiss her lips
Say she's beautiful
And she'd always be his.
But then he'd let her fall
Say its all her fault
Get angry and hold her
Much too hard.

She'd stay curled up inside her head
Arms protecting herself
From the words that had been said
And she'd cover up the sting of his song
By singing her own little verse

"One day I'll climb so high
I will touch the sky
I will never fall again.
And when the sun does rise
Ill be right by its side
Forever part of its light.
When he looks up to the skies
Ill be burnt into his eyes.
He will never yell again.
I will never cry again."

-ARI

My brother died 12 days ago.
I held him until his last heartbeat passed.
I watched my mothers heart break
And fathers world shatter.

I was there.
I watched his lips turn blue.
I felt the heat leave his body
And sobbed into his hospital gown.

My brother died 12 days ago.
I was the one to make the phone calls.
I’m the one who broke the news
To our family and friends.

I was there.
I walked down those halls.
I left my shattered soul
Sewn into the cracked tiles of that hospital.

My brother died 12 days ago.
I swear he took my heart with him.
He left my mind here to listen
To the countless “my condolences”.

I was there.
I saw the 300 people who loved him.
I met some of the countless souls
He guided through life storms.

My brother died 12 days ago.
I am still crying when no ones looking.
I buried my brother in the earth he loved
But his light and love lives in me now.

-ARI

The heart in question
Is strong and mighty
Loud and needy.
It will demand a life
Of ever changing scenery
While crying for serenity
Inside another's soul.

This travelers heart
Will carry you to places
You never knew you craved.
She will sing you songs
You've never heard before
And every string inside your
Being will rejoice in the music made.

She will create melodies
From the flowers blooming
As the sun dances just for them.
Melodies of which will
Somehow transform the world
Into the most soul changing
Symphony any creature has ever heard.

She will never feel satisfied
With three, eight, or nineteen
Countries imprinted into her blood.
She will turn you into an
Addict always looking for
Your next fix full of exploration;
Foreign languages playing in your ear.

She will make you feel
So full of love as long as you
Provide her with tastes of foreign life.
She will make you feel lost
Inside a never ending cavern
Filled with faded heart lights
If you ever wish to stay still.

For trade: A travelers heart
Wanted: A heart made for home.

-ARI

I once had a friend
Who was afraid to die.
That very same friend
Was afraid of life.

I once had a friend
Who hated herself.
That very same friend
Loved everyone else.

I once had a friend
Whos soul had unraveled.
That very same friend
Had often traveled.

I once was a friend...

-ARI

I have this overwhelming fear
God is watching me
With tears in his eyes
Shaking his head
And with sadness in his throat
He tells his son

“She was meant to be so much more
But she is nothing I created her to be”

And that image in my head
Destroys me every night
As I lay in my bed
Thinking of everything
I wish I could be and
Everything I wish I could do.

-ARI

Rain drops resting on our cheeks
Such sweet renewal
No one dares to speak.
Our eyes turned up to the stars
We have found peace
Right where we are.
Natures voice made us a melody
For us to dance to;
For us to sing.

So darling
keep your hands
wrapped around my waist
Listen to my laughter
As I kiss your lovely face.
Know that for time and
For ever after,
You'll be the rain
That cleansed my soul.

Sunshine crawls; gently waking me
While I'm cradled by
My living dream.
Love waltzing from my soul
Wrapping 'round the one
Who became my home.

So darling
keep your hands
wrapped around my waist
Listen to my laughter
As I kiss your lovely face.
Know that for time and
For ever after,
You'll be the rain
That cleansed my soul.
You'll be the rain
I'll always know.

-ARI

I
want my-
No. I need
My voice to be
Heard by any soul inclined to listened.

-ARI

I often wonder
Who I’ll be
When the day comes
For us to meet.

I hope I’m brave
Kind and true
And hope my soul
Brings joy to you.

-ARI

I am a victim of self hate
And never ending insomnia.

I swear my bones are crumbling
Inside the flesh of which holds
Nightmares and maniacal dreams
Embedded within my genetic makeup.

I swear every morning my eyes open
My very entity is ***** by anxiety.

My soul is pregnant with Its child-
Panic of which eats at my mind
Leaving me to starve without an ounce of
Peace.

-ARI

I am
The forgotten tea
Sitting on his dresser.

Too cold;
Too weak
For him to love.

Yet still
He keeps me
'Ever awaiting his lips.

-ARI

I find it funny
To be called a poet
When often times
I cannot sew together
A simple sentence
To explain to you
The anxiety drilling
Holes deep within
My bones of which
Often feel non-existent.

I find it funny
To be called a wife
When often times
I cannot collect
The energy to make
A simple dinner
Meant for two
Or wash and fold
The laundry now
Two weeks past due.

I find it funny
To be called a friend
When often times
I cannot pick up
My phone for
Even a simple
Message to let you
Know I love you
Even if it may seem
Like I avoid you.

I find it funny
To be called funny
When often times
I am the **** of my
Own jokes and they
Have no clue that
To me, I am stating
Simple facts with
A hint of laughter
To keep from crying.

-ARI

You
Were broken
And I spent
Countless hours
Collecting the shards
Of your shattered soul
From the impact
Of a death.
You
Were sobbing
In a heap of
Bloodied tissues
And I was there silently
Destroying evidence of
Your depression
Induced self hate
As I held you closely.
You
Were a gnarled
Garden of lost
Beauty and I
Was there to rid you
Of the invasive weeds
Happily devouring
The life in your veins
Leaving you to die.
But
I was left with
Bleeding hands from
The shards of your soul
Razors sinking in my skin
From your example of
"Release"
The weeds of depression
Strangling me and all I needed was
You.

But you never came.

-ARI

You will
Either hate me or love me
There is no in between.

If you hate me
It will be because
My Kindness rips apart your soul

If you love me
It will be because
My heart pacifies your mind.

-ARI

I have felt
Dejected.
I have been
Swallowed by
Grief.

I have felt
Anguished.
I have been
Far beyond
Heartbroken.

I have felt
Hopeless.
I have been
Abused by
Misery.

I have felt
Dysphoria.
I have been
Adrift within
Sorrow.

But,

I have felt
Wonder.
I have been
Wrapped inside
Comfort.

I have felt
Delight.
I have been
Given sweet
Laughter.

I have felt
Exhilaration.
I have been
Loved inside
Paradise.

I have felt
Hopeful.
I have been
Blessed with
Freedom.


-ARI

It* is like
I was sleeping
peacfully
Then suddenly
I woke up in the middle
Of a circus; All eyes on me
And I'm 100 feet
In the air balancing
On a rope thinner than
My hair; it breaks
I'm falling and everyone is screaming
Then suddenly
There's silence and my eyes are closed
Something heavy is in my hand
I open my eyes
There's a thick whip and hoop
Pressed into my hand
An angry lion stalking me
I'm shaking
Not knowing what to do
"Don’t let him know you're afraid."
"Don’t let him know you're afraid."
I chant to myself
But it's too late.
He knows.
I try to scream, I try to run
But before I move
He already has me pinned
His teeth crushing my throat
My blood gurgling within
My gaping mouth
Then suddenly
My head is bursting through
Salty waves and I'm bobbing
In the thrashing ocean.
I cannot breathe.
My arms flailing for something,
Anything to save me.
Hands grasp my shaking fingers
I think I am safe.
Then I wake up
Back inside that circus.
The Lion is waiting.
I cannot escape.

-ARI

I used to be a poet
Writing down worlds in my soul
Praying someone learned
Of all the pain my body knows
As scars danced upon my....

I used to be a poet
I wrote until my fingers bled
From the twisted words
Lost in my soul
My mouth had never said
But then life....

I used to write out heartache
Like a doctor writes a script
So cold and nonchalant
It cold make a stone heart skip...

I used to be a poet
Now words just don’t feel right
I suppose I’ll leave those thoughts
Tangled in the darkest night...

I tried.