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ARI Oct 2015
Youve asked me
To describe her
For you say you want
To understand her.

But all I can say
Is  that she
Is simply a poet
With a shattered pen.

Life's ink has stained
Her slender fingers
Dark blots cover her paper
But still she writes.

You cannot understand
Illegible scrawls
Scattered across
Once clean paper.

To you it seems as if
She's finally gone mad
Perhaps she has
Always been mad.

But she is brilliant
For she has hidden
Her broken pieces
Beneath those ink blots.

If you truly want
To understand her mind
I suggest you start reading
In between the lines.


-ARI
ARI Jul 2015
Hair falling from her scalp
Like the fraid ends of a rope
Finally giving up.

Flesh peeling from her bones
Like a bright red apple
Being skinned.

Liquid pouring from her eyes
Like the angry summer clouds
Screaming for peace.

Fear twisting 'round her thoughts
Like rusted barbed wire "tattooed"
Inside a gnarled tree.

-ARI
ARI Aug 2014
I felt the mountains fall
From the weight of all the tears
That poured from your wounded soul

I heard the heavens roar
From the pain which drenched the voice
Tearing from your throat

I watched the green trees tremble
From the twisted misery
Shaking your beaten body

Simply put
I watched your once lively light
Fade into nothing

-ARI
ARI Dec 2015
I see you
Walking by that ledge
Just a little too slowly.

I see your eyes
Calculate the distance
To the ground.

I see your head
Bowing in defeat
As your mind begs to fall.

I see your back
Shattering as asphalt
Sews itself into your chest.

I see guilt
Waltzing across
Your exhausted smile.

I see you
Caged inside depression
You cannot seem to escape.

I see you.
Now you just need
To see that I am here.

-ARI
ARI May 2016
To forget
Your name
Your face
Your smile

 I want to Forget

Your hands
Wrapped around
My arms as if you
Owned  ME.

I WANT TO FORGET

Your voice
Ripping through
My once innocent  mind
Scarring me forever

But I Remember

Your hands
Pushing me to
My knees because
You "deserved  it"

I remember

One ***** hand
Over my mouth
The other
Bruising my leg

I will always remember

My trembling  voice
BEGGING you
To STOP but
YOU didn't want to.

-ARI
ARI Jan 2014
I want to feel the weight of you
Pressed lovingly against my back.
I want to feel your steady breath
Playing across my delicate skin.

I want to hear your deep laughter
Drifting through the warm room.
I want to hear your soulful singing
Meant only for my listening ears.

I want to touch your heated skin
While we dance around a campfire.
I want to touch your roughened face
After you haven't shaved for a few days.

I want every inch of your mind and body
While you have every inch of mine.
I want you forever and always in my life
Mostly, I just want to find you.

-ARI
ARI Mar 2015
I feared that I would want him.
I feared that I would need him.
I feared that I would love him.
And I do.

But I am not afraid anymore.

-ARI
ARI Dec 2015
I never could save her.
I tried. I swear I tried
But she was just too far gone.
I couldn’t find her
Inside the too twisted depths
Of her lifeless eyes.

They use to be a vibrant green
With passionate oranges rings
Dancing around her pupils.
Now you'd never guess
There was ever anything vibrant
Held within that girl.

-ARI
ARI Mar 2015
I don’t want to count the calories
Dancing on my plate.
Id rather count the miles
skipping beneath my wheels.

I don’t want to see the numbers
Flashing on my scale.
Id rather see the blur of scenery
Flying past my window.

I don’t want to hear the people
Laughing inside my head.
Id rather hear the seagulls
Begging for food around the beach.

I don’t want to hate the girl
Staring at me in the mirror.
Id rather love her instead
Smiling every time I see her.

-ARI
ARI Dec 2013
Head spinning from the words of disapproval
Pouring from her elders lips
Ears ringing with harsh cackling
Ripping apart her delicate thinking

Having no clue as to who she is
She digs her nails into her tender scalp
Praying she could scrape away
The poisoned memories in her mind

Feeling lost among such ***** rubble
Wishing to dig her way home
To a place filled with wondrous things
She will never have to fear

Though she knows that is impossible
A girl like her will never be free
She is trapped in a system of judgment
Just like everyone else her age

-ARI
ARI Sep 2015
I wish I could hold her shaking limbs
Tightly in my arms.

I wish I could make her forget
The scale inside her head.

I wish I could take away
The scars she placed upon her flesh.

I wish I could wipe away
Self-hate pouring from her soul.

-ARI
ARI Sep 2018
I dreamt
After all these years
My wish to become a mother
Became my reality

I saw myself
With a soft smile
Lovingly caressing the small bump
Protecting my child

Then suddenly
I lay in bed screaming
As I’m swallowed up by absolute horror
Unable to move

As I saw
The most maniacal
Creature made up of all my anxiety
Doubt and self hate

I felt its
Mangled charcoal like
Claws gripping my leg as it slowly
Inched up my body

I could hear
It’s labored breathing
And strangled laughter ripping through
My petrified mind

I woke up
At 2am completely
Distraught as I helplessly fumbled
Through the darkness

Fighting hard
Against something
That wasn’t actually in my room but
I swear I can still feel It

My breaths
Coming out in pitifully
Panicky spurts mixed childish whimpers
A silent plea for help

I felt as if
I lost my child
And every ounce of peace in that terror-
I fear sleep tonight.

ARI
ARI Mar 2015
I am the book in the back of a library
Lost and hidden away collecting dust.
Spine broken; pages torn and faded
My cover ripped away long ago.

A story once filled with brilliant vibrancy
Now damaged beyond repair.
I am nothing but an unknown story
Forgotten and left without a title.

-ARI
ARI Feb 2015
She was something so marvelous,
Something I could never understand.

Her smile said a thousand words,
Although her lips rarely made a sound.

Her eyes held abandoned stories,
Like none I have ever heard before.

Her laughter like a song so sweet,
Not an artist could do her justice.

I watched her fall apart one day,
And then I realized just what she was.

She was a gift so rare to live;
The perfect poem with a heartbeat.

-ARI
ARI Jul 2015
Hush.
Dont speak,
For their mouths
Repeat all words
Their ever listening ears can pick up.
Sadly they are not always truth speakers
People get hurt
From lies spread.
Watch your
tongue.
ARI Apr 2016
When the time comes
For my eyes to 'ever close
And for my Heavenly
Father to call me home;

I hope my lips hold onto
A faint forever smile
Of which often spread
Heartfelt "I love you"'s

I hope my hair will be
A flowing stream of silver
With flowers placed
Sweetly around my head.

I hope my wrinkles
Are like an intricate map
Of the vibrant life
I've tried my best to live.

I hope my heart is
Filled with everlasting
Memories of which
My loved ones gave me.

I hope my name
Brings joy to those
Who speak it when
Their hearts are missing me.

For that is how
My grandmother
Left us; with pure love
Wrapped around our souls.

-ARI
ARI Dec 2015
She wanted to hang from her tree

But she was afraid to die.

So instead she built a swing;

She’s never felt more alive.

-ARI
ARI Jun 2016
The higher I climb
The better the view
I see.

The higher I climb
The more tired
I become.

The higher I climb
The sweeter the air
Filling my lungs.

The higher I climb
The more blisters
On my hands.

The higher I climb
The more songs I hear
The birds sing.

The higher I climb
The more my limbs
Are aching.

One day I will
Reach the top
Of my ladder.

Who will be there
To greet my weary bones
And hopeful heart?

-ARI
ARI Dec 2013
Sitting, waiting, watching me closely,
Taunting me in every way.
Whispers soft, yet loud and clear.
Rushing through my tender ear.

Sitting, waiting, watching me closely,
Pulling on my worn out nerves.
Waking up to tortured screaming.
Proof to show that I was dreaming.

Lifeless doll atop my dresser,
Said to be simple cloth and stuffing.
Filled only with white gentle cotton.
Though the depths of her eyes seem cold and rotten.

-ARI
ARI Mar 2014
I sat there alone,
eyebrows scrunched in constant disapproval.
I was too busy focused on what I hated in life
To notice the small boy walking my way

He sat down next to me
On an old warped bench with rusted screws.
For a moment he simply stared
As though he were studying my expression

His gaze made me uneasy for some unknown reason.
I quickly became agitated and so
I clench my hands and screamed
In frustration “What do you want!”

From his small mouth came a question
So odd it took me a moment to
Hear what he had asked me
“What is it like to live”

“To live? You should know already,
for you are alive right now.”
My answer seemed to not be what
the boy was looking for.

He shook his head and said
to me “No, what is it like to live?
What is it like run outside when
youre small and scrape your knee?”

Overwhelmed with confusion I
simply laughed and said
“Boy, you should know. For
you are many years younger than I.”

“Well, what is it like to be a teenager?
To run around with friends and
no parents at your back? Is it
As fun as the older kids make it seem?”

”What about school? Is high school
as scary as people say or is
it exciting? What about college?
Did you go to college?”

“What is it like to love a girl
and to have her love you back?
What is it like to dance with
Her arms wrapped around you?”

“What is it like to grow old
and watch the world change
all around. Whats it like to
watch the people around you grow?”

For some reason I cannot explain
I quickly became angry; agitated
at such ridiculous questions.
How dare he ask such foolish things!

“ Overrated! Why are you in
Such a hurry to grow old?
High school is terrible and you
Will absolutely hate it!”

“I never went to college and
that is none of your **** business!
Love?! Love is a waste of time.
Love is an emotion that doesnt exist!”

“And growing old? Growing old
is wretched! My bones ache
My head is always hurting
And I have had to watch friends die!”

“All I see is the large amount of
Idiocy in this ever changing
World and it is a waste of life!
Do yourself a favor and dont think about it!”

Suddenly his shoulders drooped
the light in his eyes had dimmed
He looked away without a word
and for many moments sat still.

He then turned to me with pitty,
fear, hurt, and sadness in his eyes.
A voice so soft I almost couldnt hear,
Began to whisper from his lips.

“I never had the chance to run
Outside when I was old enough to
remember. I dont remember
how it feels to scrape my knee.”

“Ive never been allowed to go to
school. Too many germs that could
**** me, but my brothers dont like it.
I believe I would love it.”

“My uncle says love is like
magic that can heal all your hurt.
Ive always believed in magic like that.
I will always hope its true.”

“Every bone in my body aches.
When I sat next to you I did not
talk right away because I hurt to
Much to be able to say a word.”

“I have said goodbye to more
friends in six months than most
people do in their entire lives.
I am just another kid waiting in that line.”

“I dont see bad things in the world
Mostly because I make myself
See everything beautiful instead.
The only thing I am able to do is think.”

It was at that moment guilt had
hit me so hard in the chest I
couldnt take a single breath.
I had started to realize things about him.

He had very little hair on his head and his
Cheek bones seemed to be sunken in. His lips
Were chap and he had a little tube inside his nose.
I couldnt understand how I missed that.

“Boy? What is wrong with you?
Are you ill? And why ask me
all your questions? Surly
You could see Im not a very nice man?”

A sad smile began to appear on
His face and he looked at me and said,
“I was sitting by my mom when I saw
you staring at the trees like you were mad.”

“The wrinkles on your face told
me you have lived a life filled with
so many emotions and I just had to know.
I needed to know what it was like to have a wrinkle.”

With that the boy rose and this time I watched
as his small body slowly limped to his mother.
She rushed to his side and placed him
in a wheelchair that he was simply too small for.

Only a few feet away from my bench
that boy turned around and said
“My name is Ben, it was nice to meet
you but you need to remember how to smile.”

A few weeks went by and I couldnt forget that boy
so I went to the hospital by that park and asked
the nurse about that little boy named Ben
and asked if I could see him.

“He told me you would come by..
Though he thought you would come sooner.
Ben passed away three days ago. His cancer
Came back to quickly and too hard.”

I stood there shocked not knowing what to do.
This child that I have been thinking of
constantly, expecting for him to be here,
Was now gone for ever and the world didn't know.

I left on weary legs and sat on that same bench.
“Love is when a child notices you and smiles, even
when you yell at him. Love is when someone changes
Your life for the better. Love is definitely magic little Ben.”
ARI Mar 2017
I lost who I am
In a sea of religion.
As the sharks made
From scriptures
Tore my limbs apart.

-ARI
ARI Dec 2013
Lovely little ladybug
Lovely little thing
Lovely little melody
Made from simple dreams

You think you know all you see
But nothing is ever as it seems
You don’t know much of anything
'Cause this Worlds much bigger than you or me

But don’t you worry Little one
We have the skies and we have the Sun
You have my heart now take my Hand
And we can ride to our promise Land

-ARI
ARI Dec 2013
So many things I wanted,
So many things I dreamed.
All the things I thought I had,
Were nothing as they seemed.

-ARI
ARI Mar 2015
No eyes can see me
Though Im always there.
Forgotten and abused
But no one seems to care.

I feel like a human heart
Caged inside a living chest.
Ever beating; never freed;
No escape until my death.

-ARI
ARI Apr 2015
Stand tall
When you're feeling low
Be a Beacon of light
For the broken souls

Be their strength
And give them hope
Together you will find
Your forever home

Hold them tightly
Keep them close
Let them know
They don’t have to be alone

-ARI
ARI Feb 2018
I am an odd little lullaby.
The kind of which who’s existence
You question until you reach
That one sentence that defines
The exact pain wrapped around your soul.
Then and only then
Do you begin to find value in my words.
You see, I have spent my fair share of  
Moments crumpled up in a heap
Of weary bones and heavy tears
Wishing I was anyone but me
And yet I have survived.
I have become a vibrant nobody.

-ARI
ARI Dec 2013
Seeming to fall from the sky,
Tears of an angel,
As pure as the innocence of a child.
Soft droplets,
Cool against my burning eyes,
Caressing my already wet cheeks.
My tears and sorrow mixing with the rain,
Seeping through my skin and drowning my soul.

The sound of the rain hitting the pavement,
Sounds to me like weeping children,
Searching for their loved ones.
Am I a lost child,
Where are the people I love,
Are they ever looking for me?

My heart sinks for those children,
For the ones who hurt,
For all those who are lost.
I cannot see them nor can I find them,
But I can hear them,
I can feel their pain as if it were mine.

-ARI
ARI Apr 2015
If a poet loves you,
Treasure every word
Of which falls from their dancing lips.

For they will be the one to engrave
Every syllable of your name
Into every crevice of their soul.

They will braid your everlasting joys and sorrows
Into beautiful intricate stanzas
Forever tattooed on their vibrant mind.

They will spend countless hours
Weaving together letters for the perfect "I love you"
Without ever using such words.

If a poet loves you;
You will be 'ever etched into their heart
By the ink of sweet eternity.

-ARI
ARI Dec 2013
Her eyes were darkend pools
of twisted torment.
Her lips were broken lines
of lovely lies.
Her chest was tight and cold
from her heavy hardened heart.
And her legs were
Slender sticks of secret scars.

-ARI
ARI Oct 2014
Small innocent child
so sweet and beautiful
with a heart so wild
and smile so brilliant

With soft blonde waves
caressing rosy cheeks
and enchanting blue eyes
filled with vibrant wonder

Everything about you
is everything I love
Forever and always
ARI Dec 2013
Today I saw you,
Possibly for the last time.
Shock was written clearly across my face,
As you walked through the door and into my arms.
My face was buried in your neck,
Your warm arms gripping me tightly to your body.
Ive missed you more than I could possibly explain,
No words were spoken as we stood there.
Your hands gently pulling me away,
Guiding my lips to yours.
Such sweet slow intensity,
Filling me with longing and the fear of losing you forever.
Locking your fingers with mine,
You smiled sadly and walked through the house.
Later as you said goodbye,
You promised me you would come and kiss me one last time.
You promised me you would hold me one last time,
Before you were called back.

-ARI
ARI Oct 2015
Ribbons of desire
Wrapped around her wrists
When He claimed to love her
With all his promises.

Little did she know
Inch by silken inch
Those ribbons transferred poison
Her soul; forever His.

-ARI
ARI Jan 2016
With sweet lips spewing lies
Of life's grand perfections;
Fictitious light placed inside
My 'ever vacant wandering eyes.

Id nod my head; shake their hand
While pretending I was joyous;
Laugh about and dance around
While we listened to the band.

With a wide smile upon my face
The photographer snapped a shot;
Eternalizing "lovely" depression, of which
Seeped into my soul and stole my grace.

I'm drowning in the screaming words
Of all the truths I've never shared;
They’ve become my grim lullabies
Forever sung by my inner songbirds.

-ARI
ARI Jan 2015
I scratch at my rib cage
Nails clawing at my skin
As if I could scrape away
The extra weight I feel I've gained

It's like the devil's inside of me
He's disfiguring my bones
I fall to my aching knees
God make him leave me alone

Trapped inside my eyes I'm  screaming
The numbers on my scale are screeching
Their maniacal laughter devours my dreams
Someone save me I'm afraid to sleep


-ARI
ARI Mar 2018
Here I am again
Standing on the same bridge
I always seem to end up on
Contemplating every decision
I have ever made
To keep myself alive.

I swear there's a library
In my mind made up
Of ever growing caverns
Overflowing with scrolls
Of which I wish would burn
Far past the point of ashes.

Here I am again
Questioning every word
Said to me that was less than
Cruel, for I will always
Doubt someone's claim
Of sweet sincerity.

I swear there is
Very little worth
Sleeping inside my soul
Of which is drowning
Within my accidentally
Self-induced torment.

Help me;
I cant breathe.

-ARI
ARI Dec 2013
We're all lost in
a maze known as life,
and were just trying to find a way
around the walls on both our sides.

But every time we think
the hard parts almost over
We come across a barricade
that makes our broken hearts seem colder

The old have "been there, done that"
And the young are left to be lost.
While we're slowly left to wonder
We think not what our own actions have caused.

-ARI
Me
ARI Jan 2018
Me
I am a drunk.
Like the angry town fool
Stumbling through the darkened streets.

I am like a blind bird
Flying through a sea of skyscrapers.
Just waiting for the moment I crash.

I am sad.
Like the sea on a rainy day
For no one wants to drop by to say hello.

I am lost.
Like a child at the store
Wandering as my fear happily chokes me

I am hopeful.
Like an addict gambling
All my life saving on a “sure win”.

I am unsure.
Like a doctor staring at a dying child
As I’m holding a “might work” treatment.

I just want to be ok.

-ARI
ARI Dec 2013
You’re the song stuck in my head,
That plays across the strings of my heart.
You’re the beat I tap with my hand,
The melody I get lost in.
You’re the notes loud and strong,
The notes I cant help but sing to.

-ARI
ARI Dec 2015
I
Don't have
Time for this.
I can not have
A meltdown. I am an adult, **** it!

-ARI
Men
ARI Mar 2018
Men
I will be completely honest with you
Im currently drunk as I write this.

For tonight a man stirred the anxieties
That have been buried in my bones.

My mind cycled through every moment
I have ever felt fear caused by a man.

My body hurt in every exact spot
My skin has ever been bruised by a man.

My heart screamed in agony
From every lie a man has fed me.

Tonight I drank until all I could feel
Was round glass resting on my lips.

You see, tonight a man wanted me
But I was far too scared to kiss him.

Tonight I said no, for I was uncomfortable
And stood up for myself.

I am so proud of my progress in self worth
And yet I am still hiding behind *****.

-ARI
ARI Nov 2014
Mirror mirror on the wall
Why must you make me see it all

From the bags beneath my eyes
To extra fat upon both thighs

Every scar that marks my skin
From where I start to where I end

Why must I hear your laughter
Your cruel thoughts and evil chatter

Twisted words that break my heart
Come from you; they tear me apart

-ARI
ARI Mar 2015
My heart was a blank piece of paper
Crisp; clean; untouched
Waiting patiently to be trusted with beautiful words
Written by the warmest hands
Treasured forever like a sweet memory

But you came along and without permission
You wrote the harshest poetry
Cruel thoughts leaving imperfections
Scratches; scribbles; illegible rambles
Like too thick blankets suffocating me

Sadly I have learned
Few people believe in recycling.

-ARI
ARI May 2017
He was like a gentle melody
I hadn't had a name for
Playing on repeat inside my head.
But once I read the lyrics
I realized I didn't like the twisted words
The seemingly peaceful song had said.

-ARI
ARI Dec 2013
Shes the modern day Medusa
She will make you feel at home
and when everything seems perfect
That's when she'll turn your heart to stone

-ARI
ARI Oct 2018
These are my people
And these mats are our home.
We connected through the passion
Embedded in our bones.

Everyday we’re here
We’re renewed on our mats.
Theres sweat, tears, and blood on our Gis,
On our rash guards and spats.

We strive to train hard
And always remember
This family we’ve created
We’ll never surrender.

-ARI
ARI May 2016
I am
Utterly
Petrified
To open the graves
Of my past hidden in
The deepest part of my being.

For I
Am
Petrified
Once they are out
I won’t be able to rebury
Them before they consume me.

I am
Utterly
Petrified
To release the words
Of which have become rusted
Barbed wire imbedded in my throat.

For I
Am
Petrified
During their release
I will find those words have
Sewn themselves into my tattered soul.


I am
Utterly
Sure
I will not survive
The verbal barbed wire
Demolishing me on its way to freedom.

-ARI
ARI Jul 2015
Broken doll
With tarnished eyes
And limbs all bent
In different directions

Broken bear
With ears torn
And button eyes
Gone and forgotten

Rocking chair
With chipped paint
And both arms
Lost to splinters

Your life
Came from
A loving maker
Who shared you with a child

A child
Who's warmth
And laughter grew
Because their growing hearts had you.

-ARI
ARI Dec 2015
I was once told
A girl like me
Cannot hope to succeed.

I was once told
A depressed girl
Never finds love in the world.

I was once told
A dream to travel
Will make me unravel.

I was once told
A child's every thought
Should always be taught.

But

My mother once told me
A girl like me
Will often succeed.

My mother once told me
A depressed girl
Can find love in the world.

My mother once told me
A dream to travel
Makes nightmares unravel.

My mother once told me
A childs every thought
Should be their own; never taught.

-ARI
ARI Dec 2013
Move with me
Follow me into my spins.
Where the strong smooth texture
Of worn, loved dance shoes
Soften our graceful landings.

Close your eyes and smile
And dream my dream of wonder.
Where the music wraps around our bodies
Guiding our every move.

Laugh with me
Lift your eyes to match mine
Watch me as our sorrows flee
And as our nightmares forever leave.

Move with me
As our tired hearts begin to weep
And our broken souls finally heal.
As the pain turns to peace.

Follow me into my spins.
Where the moon forever shines
And we forever dance.

-ARI
ARI Nov 2014
I took the words
you wrote for me
and locked them
in my soul

Like the fireflies
caught on warm
dark summer nights
and placed inside a jar

Your words so sweet
they give me dreams
and helped guide me through
all the fears I couldnt see
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