Tear me down till I am nothing more than a pile of broken dreams.
Beat me till my body is black and blue
Your vicious words tear into my skin like a ship caught in a storm
But this time there is no one to see the cries for help.

Haunt me, till I’m too afraid to face the day because my nightmares are becoming reality.
**** me, slowly tearing me limb from limb until I’m nothing you told me I was.
Cry yourself to sleep you stupid, pathetic girl,
No one cares, its all just lies when they say they do.

Cuts, cuts, cuts, litter the once clean skin of a messed up mind
You’ve proved to me time and time again I am worth nothing to you!
I’m just someone you claim to love, but I’m worthless
A worthless nothing, better off gone!

I try to stay calm
But my voice it trembles like ripples in the water.

I try to hold on
But I'm losing my grip on the one thing that matters.

I try to breath deep
But all these thoughts in my head are suffocating me now.

I try to close my eyes and rest for a while
But this pain in my chest, as if you're tearing my heart out.

Oh but I know you don't care,
You don't see how much this is hurting me.
You just care about yourself,
Go play your stupid video games,
Go get ****** with all your friends...
But you know, I will always be here waiting
But for how much longer can I take this..?

I'm nothing but an option to you,
There are a thousand things you would rather do
Then talk to me in several days,
But then again you don't see that do you?

Its clear to see you're drifting away,
Would rather play a computer game
Then even bother to see if we're okay
But then again, you don't really care.

I thought you cared but clearly not.
You say you're sorry but things always stay the same.
I'm not sure what there is left for me to do
Because I'm tired of fighting for you to show me you care.

If someone gave me the chance to change how my life went,
With so many times I wish to forget,
I honestly don’t think I would
Because heaven knows if I would have met you.

Can we just escape and forget this world?
Maybe just tonight or only in my head,
I’ll meet you where the waves hit the shore
And kiss you underneath the light of a thousand stars.
Would you please stay with me in a dream world for tonight
And just say that you won’t disappear when I awake?

If I had the chance to make this distance between us shorter,
I don’t know if I would take that chance just yet
I don’t think I would
Because it’s made me treasure my time with you so much more.

I wish I could tell you how you make me feel;
As if I’ve finally found somewhere I can belong.
I wish I could tell you that you mean the world to me
And that I only will ever want you.
If I tried to be so honest with my feelings towards you,
Could you promise not to turn the other way?

If I had the chance to take all your worries away,
Even if that meant letting you go,
I think I would
Because I would rather you be happy, even if that is you better off without me.

So I’ll tell you that you always make my heart race,
You always manage to brighten up my darkest days.
I miss you more each time we’re apart
So look forward to the next time I can be with you.
If I could tell you the truth to your face instead of hiding,
I would tell you that I love you more than anything and feel so lucky just to have you in my life.

I just don’t belong here,
I don’t understand myself at all.
I don’t want to be here
But I don’t want to leave you till its time…
So if I manage to stay here tonight
Will you please just tell me that it will be alright?
Because I don’t want to be here,
I’m about ready to give up this fight.

I stare at the pictures of us tonight
As these tears stream down my face,
It’s getting harder to breath
And this pain in my chest is taking it out of me.
I see the face of you and someone I don’t like
She’s staring back at me, with a smile I cannot find;
But tonight, I can’t bear to pick up the phone
I can’t even tell you…I’m not alright, I want to go.

I'm terrified you will finally turn away from me,
The long silences increase my anxieties…
I don’t want to hurt you,
I don’t want to bother you again tonight
Because we’re going in circles
And I don’t want you to see the mess that I’m truly in…
So please understand if I try to push you away once again
I just know you can do so much better!

You don't know what I've been through
To wined up here.
The constant words hurled in my direction
Now all I do is run,
And when the night falls and all I want is you,
We start the fighting just like my mum and dad would do.

All the times they promised I would be okay,
Turned into empty words so I would feel safe.
But their words you see meant nothing at all,
As his fists would fly just as much as words.
I know you would never lay a hand on me, like they did
But I cant stop the fear that I'm too far gone foe you to stay.

I go down the same road everytime,
Lost in a river of painful memories
And I know its weak to be so scared all the time
But these things they hurt me and broke me down.
How I wish I could just be honest with you,
I'd love to tell you the truth of what I've been through.

If you're going to leave then just go,
Please don't speak just walk away.
I can feel the emptiness deep inside
But when you're by my side I feel butterflies.

If you're going to leave then tell me now
Please make it quick so you don't see me cry.
I can feel my world being split in two,
Is there anything left that I can do?

If you're going to leave please do it now,
I'm so scares this is the end.
I don't what I would do without you,
So please make it quick and don't say goodbye!

Slipping...
Slipping away like the tide with the moon.
Drowning in loneliness
And I know that these feelings have just begun.

Hurting...
Hurting over the fact I cannot speak
As my body feels laces with poison;
I'm unable to tell you the truth.

Oh how much I need you right now
As my body is caressed by this never ending depression,
How I long for you to tell me its all okay...
But I am unable to call out your name for the fear of being a burden.

So once again I'm left in the bitterly cold darkness,
All alone.
Unable to ask for your hand
Because I'm too scared of what you may see!

Please don't be lonely when I'm gone
I've been sad for far to long
And now I've become so numb inside.
I want to slowly slip away
Into the darkness I will fade.

Please don't cry when I'm gone,
I haven't been myself for a while
And now I'm lost inside my mind.
I am tortured by these voices in my head
Telling me I'm better off dead.

Please don't be lonely when I'm gone,
I've been sad for far to long

I don't understand how one person can:
Send my heart into overdrive,
Make my stomach do backflips,
Lift me into an everlasting happiness.

I'm not quite sure how:
Your eyes are like gateways to a place I've been longing to find,
Your touch is as magical as the childhood dreams I once had,
Your kiss is as powerful as an army defending their home.

What are these feelings I seem to possess?
I don't quite understand what you do to me,
This grip you have that sweeps me off my feet
And leaves me feeling as if I am unbreakable.

What are these feelings I have when I'm lost in time with you?

You see I've never been good at this whole love thing.
Not to you
Nor to me.

Love is but a torturers way of tearing you apart.
I will never say those words,
I will never feel their meanings.

I will build these walls up around my heart
In order for mw not to feel
In order for me to forget.

I'm nothing more than a failure in the love department.
I can't love my family,
I can't love my friends.

You see to me love is a shout into the black abyss...
So dark and unbecoming
Is a four letter word really worth all the pain?

Who am I to ask you for the time of day?
When you look at me as if I am a wall of grey.
My insecurities are fuelled by that devastating look in your eyes
That rips my very being from existents.
For you see, I am not like you
I am the nothingness that creeps inside your head
And haunts your once pleasant dreams
Until you plead for death to take you in its icy grip.

Who am I to ask if you will stay by my side?
For I am one of those many lost souls
And my abandonment issues how I wish to blame you.
You deserted me but I know I am the one to blame.
For you see my mind does not work like yours
It corrupts even the purest of thoughts
Impales them with the purest of impurities
Suffocating them like the vines around the necks of the flowers.

Who am I to ask if love is a shout into the void?
I still tear out my heart with my bare hands.
I am lost inside a world where no one can see the truth
It’s always them, it’s always suffer you sufferings in silence.
For you see they do not understand what it’s like
To be lost inside your own rotting head
Scared of the monsters under your bed, now they are inside your head.
No one cares if you ended up dead.

So please answer me, who am I to ask for your hand?
When you do not see me they way you should.
You see a feeble, weak, broken girl
Who’s too far gone to be saved.
For you see I am none of your concern
But that is where you are wrong.
I am a mother, a daughter, a farther, a son, a friend, family
I am everywhere, so please don’t turn your back on me!

Right now its a little too much
Theses thoughts, they haunt my mind
I can't let it all go!

I'm trapped inside this nightmare
His hands roaming,
I'm begging and pleading but it won't stop!

I've decided tonight
I'm done with this pain
Blood dripping from my arms and thoughts of suicide.

I'm trapped and can't escape
Every time I close my eyes
His face and voice are there.

I can feel the touch that makes my stomach churns,
The tears that burn my eyes because they daren't fall.
I'm a failure and can't deal with this anymore.

Now that you’re gone and I’m here on my own
I never knew that you’d made this feel like home
What do I do now that you’ve gone?
I hope your happy there with your place in the stars
‘Cause now I’m down here all alone in the dark

Please, if I could turn back the hands of time
I would finally get to say my last goodbye
Then maybe you would know how I really felt
And I wouldn’t be left here wondering.
If you are out there…
If you can hear me tonight please know
I wasn’t ready to let you go!

I promise you I will stay strong
I know that you wouldn’t want us all to cry.
There are so many things we never got the chance to say
But if you can hear me tonight
Please know that I love you so!

Please, if I could turn back the hands of time
I would finally get to say my last goodbye
Then maybe you would know how I really felt
And I wouldn’t be left here wondering.
If you are out there…
If you can hear me tonight please know
I wasn’t ready to let you go!

Oh please, don’t let me walk through this alone!
I ask you to give me your hand to hold
I know you’ll guide us through the night
And I promise you, I’ll try to do you proud.

The birds keep singing outside my window
And I watch how they fly away.
One day I will ride upon their wings
Over mountains and the stormiest seas just to see you
Where we will never have to say goodbye again.

Oh, oh, ohhhhh
Please, if I could turn back the hands of time
I would finally get to say my last goodbye
Then maybe you would know how I really felt
And I wouldn’t be left here wondering.
If you are out there…
If you can hear me tonight, please know
I wasn’t ready to let you go.

I know you’re slipping away, fading away
And I can’t be there.
They say your giving up now
But I know you’re a fighter, so please hold on.
I can’t bear to see you go yet,
Please hold on, I’ll come back home
Nana, please make it through the night…

Please, if there’s a god above I’m begging you
Don’t let this be the last time, I won’t get to say goodbye
I’m asking for a chance to let her stay.
Please if you hear me, let her make it through this lifetime
don’t take her away from us, too many will be heartbroken
I won’t be there to wipe away my little sisters tears at night.
Please I’m begging, Nana make it through the night.

I’m praying that this is just a nightmare
And that when I wake tomorrow it will be fine.
I never thought it would hurt this much
But oh how I’m wrong, how know they will hurt much more.
Please Nana, I know you’re tired and I know you must want the pain to stop
And I wish for anything in this world that could
But I just want to see your face again…
Please Nana, just make it through the night.

I miss your eyes and how they looked like stars.
I miss your voice and how it could make me feel better.
I miss your smile and how it could turn my darkest days bright.
I miss your smell and how it made me know you were right there.
I miss your hug and how it made me feel safe and protected.
I miss your jokes and how they were never any good.
I miss how you made me feel as a whole and how it now will never be the same.
I miss your everything now that you can't do this anymore.
I MISS YOU!
I miss you and now I can't help but cry at our memories which were the best times of all.

Maybe if I tried to forget you.
Wipe away all our memories,
Then I could close my eyes and get some sleep at night
Breathe and feel okay when you don’t call.
Some nights I look up at the stars
Just so I can feel like I’m next to you.
Each night, it gets harder being here without you
So I shut my eyes and let the tears role down…

Please don’t tell me you’re letting me go!
Please don’t tell me you’re going to be moving on!
Just turn around and walk the other way
Because I can stand another heartbreak.
I can’t stand to see you turn away.

Maybe if I stopped depending on you,
Hide the fact this is hurting me
So you can never see through my tears
Because I’m longing to feel your arms again.
Some nights I wish upon a star
Just so I can be where you are.
Each night, how I pray just to hear from you
So I try to close my heart from these feelings I have of me and you.

Please don’t tell me there’s nothing left here for us!
Please don’t tell me there’s no time left at all!
If it’s the end please turn away
Because I don’t want to hear you say it.
I can’t stand to see this fall apart.

I never thought I could cry so much
As the stars traced the sky.
My heart it breaks as the seasons change,
God I wish I could change your mind.
For you see, you mean the world to me
And I can't stand to let you go,
But you've made up your mind
Now you've said goodbye.

I guess I should try to move on,
Let you go and stop the tears.
I guess I should try and get a hold of myself,
Act so strong until I'm on my own.
I won't let them see just how much
This is breaking me... So I guess
I've got to be moving on and letting go!

I never thought I would fall as hard as I did
Just like a wrecking ball, my feelings took me out again.
I never thought I could get so attached
I guess I should have saw it coming
'Cause no-one ever stays around long enough to see me for me.
Now I'm stuck here wondering
If you ever meant you cares
Because you've left me here, longing for my heart to stop beating.

I guess I should try letting go,
Please stop the flow of these tears.
I guess I should try and find the strength to keep moving forward;
Act so strong as if there is nothing wrong.
I won't let them see just how much
This is breaking me... So I guess
I've got to be moving on and letting go!

Maybe if I tried to forget you.
Wipe away all our memories,
Then I could close my eyes and get some sleep at night
Breathe and feel okay when you don’t call.
Some nights I look up at the stars
Just so I can feel like I’m next to you.
Each night, it gets harder being here without you
So I shut my eyes and let the tears role down…

Please don’t tell me you’re letting me go!
Please don’t tell me you’re going to be moving on!
Just turn around and walk the other way
Because I can stand another heartbreak.
I can’t stand to see you turn away.

Maybe if I stopped depending on you,
Hide the fact this is hurting me
So you can never see through my tears
Because I’m longing to feel your arms again.
Some nights I wish upon a star
Just so I can be where you are.
Each night, how I pray just to hear from you
So I try to close my heart from these feelings I have of me and you.

Please don’t tell me there’s nothing left here for us!
Please don’t tell me there’s no time left at all!
If it’s the end please turn away
Because I don’t want to hear you say it.
I can’t stand to see this fall apart.

These words that stay trapped inside my head
As I gnaw at my tongue
Preventing the painfully true "I think I love you" from escaping.
My fears of rejection causing palpations of my heart
Rippling through my veins
Tearing at my lungs
Until I wish to force a knife through my throat.
My thoughts walk through my mind with a killing smile
Sensing discordant anxiety roaring through my chest
Until I am a quivering shadow of emptiness.
What is my purpose in this god forsaken, cruel world?
Within my head, thoughts of suicide echo off the once joyful now turned to black memoires
Of the times I could truly smile.
It's not that I want to die
Its just that my depression eats at my body
Destroying me from the inaide
Until now I can no longer take it and suicide...
Yes! Dreaded suicide has become my only other option
As I no longer can see myself living this intoxicated lidfe
Which drains the heart and soul out of me.
For you see I am a mere human who has lost herself to the bitterness
And your sympathy and words of "its not your fault" make me believe otherwise.
I'm already dead!
Trapped in a shadowy figure of a girl you all think you know.
Beaten down until the point of unbearable decision and pain.
Suicide is my only option.
Its not that I wanted to die, but I can no longer live!

I'm losing my mind
To these voices inside
As they tear apart my sanity.
I have cuts on my wrists
And scars on my hips
From a past I cannot escape from.
I fear every meal time
For thought of gaining weight
And the image that stares back and mocks me.
You see I long for one thing
And that's to bee good enough for me
But my thoughts are so self destructive.
So every night I cry
Curled up on the floor
With my companion in hand
Willing myself not to begin again.
See this would be easier with bottles of pills
And a mind that wasn't always racing.
I'm balanced on the edge
For weeks straight I've only had one thought,
I can do this, I can do this...
I can end this torment and no-one would notice
For I am nothing to so many.
I'm a lost voice on the wind
A shadow that can no longer be seen.

Lights don't shine as bright as a thousand stars,
Reflecting off moonlit rivers
Formed by a thousand tears.
Lights don't lead you through the darkest of nights
Unlike the moon's beams which guide you through clouded thoughts
Leading you from their eyes into their very souls.

Falling leaves of autumn linger along deserted streets,
Scattered like a thousand memories
Desperately clinging to life; to be remembered.
The autumn leaves rustle on a bitter, cold night
Reminding you of his unforgettably warm embrace,
Not completely gone but just out of reach.

The darkest nights of winter hide your placed dreams,
Smothering your happiest moments
Until you long for the newest of beginnings.
The coldest nights of winter give you hope
Curled up by a fire remembering summer nights
Of how his kiss would leave you smiling like a fool for hours.

The gentle caress of waves and summer breezes
Enlighten your heart to new dreams and new beginnings
That coax you into new adventures.
The graceful movements of budding cherry blossoms
Opens the soul to new adventures
Threatening to take you to new heights of pure bliss.

Seasons morph and change as time goes on,
Counting down each day until the end
Waiting to become something new.
Just like the seasons we morph and change,
Ignoring the complexity and greatness of life
But just like the seasons we have the opportunity to be great.

These words that stay trapped inside my head
As I gnaw at my tongue
Preventing the painfully true "I think I love you" from escaping.
My fears of rejection causing palpations of my heart
Rippling through my veins
Tearing at my lungs
Until I wish to force a knife through my throat.
My thoughts walk through my mind with a killing smile
Sensing discordant anxiety roaring through my chest
Until I am a quivering shadow of emptiness.
What is my purpose in this god forsaken, cruel world?
Within my head, thoughts of suicide echo off the once joyful now turned to black memoires
Of the times I could truly smile.
It's not that I want to die
Its just that my depression eats at my body
Destroying me from the inaide
Until now I can no longer take it and suicide...
Yes! Dreaded suicide has become my only other option
As I no longer can see myself living this intoxicated lidfe
Which drains the heart and soul out of me.
For you see I am a mere human who has lost herself to the bitterness
And your sympathy and words of "its not your fault" make me believe otherwise.
I'm already dead!
Trapped in a shadowy figure of a girl you all think you know.
Beaten down until the point of unbearable decision and pain.
Suicide is my only option.
Its not that I wanted to die, but I can no longer live!

Mum, please, I need you to listen.
I'm not trying to make something out of nothing,
I'm just fighting with my mind and I feel lonely.
Mum, please, I do not mean to be a burden
But I'm locked inside my own thoughts
And I can no longer escape,
For you see my depression is controlling me.
Some days it is like a tiny fly
The next it swallows me into its icy shadow.
These days mum are the days I long to die.
You say it's selfish and cowardly to want to die
But please, it's not so much that I want to die,
It's just I don't want to live.
Mum, these days I am held prisoner inside my own bed.
You say I'm just being typically lazy
But I'm not trying to be.
I'm just afraid that if I get up I will drown within everything I long to forget.
Mum, please... Just listen to me.
You say I should get out more, see my friends
So I try like I know I should want to
But I wish for them to cancel these plans
For my anxiety torments my mind
And claws at my chest.
You ask where anxiety... another problem came from?
Yes mum, anxiety teaming up with depression
Increasing my many fears that haunt manipulate my life.
They come along as if to a party
Mum I am that party
Only this a party I do not want to attend.
At the end of the day I am tired of fighting with myself
And once more depression beckons me to my bed
Cradling my spent body until I once again feel numb.
Mum, please this is not to do with you.
You ask me why I'm too busy to stop and enjoy life
But I am never truly busy
I just mean I'm trying to keep distracted
Because I am lonely and feel isolated.
You say you cannot see where this has came from
Well, mum, neither do I!
You always say be more mire positive
Oh how I have tried but am always reminded of things I want to forget.
You've said light a candle to eliminate the dark
But I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm afraid of living!
Maybe this is part of the problem.
Mum, please I'm begging you to listen
I'm so scared that I cannot find my way back out.
You say you don't know what else to do.
Neither do I.
I'm lost and I cannot come back.
Mum, please, I just want you to be there when I need you!

This pounding in my head
And ringing in my ears,
Tightness in my chest
And tingling in my fingers.
This dizziness that consumes me
And fears that threaten my sanity
Rip at my heart
And make me feel like I'm going crazy.

This never ending sadness
And tears that threaten to drown me,
Irrational fears consume me
And poison my once good thoughts.
This emptiness and loneliness
And loss of energy I cannot get back
Tear my world apart
Until I no longer can go on.

"FAT"
"UGLY"
"WORTHLESS"
"PATHETIC"
These words fall from their mouths
Like a thousand poisonous daggers
Piercing my mind and soul.

"WEAK"
"USELESS"
"WASTE OF SPACE"
"NOTHING"
So easily thrown at me
Like a million punches.
I'm stuck inside a war I'm so desperately trying to escape!

"LIFELESS"
"MESS UP"
"NEVER GOOD ENOUGH"
"NO ONE COULD EVER LOVE YOU"
Oh how I remember these words falling so freely from peoples mouths
But this was never anyone other then myself.
I realised too late, I was my own worst enemy...
Causing my own self-destruction.

Time races by faster then we realise,
Sudden sadness's threaten our very existence.
Trapped inside our fragile states of mind
Where our perfections are never perfections
They are merely fantasies of reality.

Our memories line the midnight skies
Isolated, trapped in a time we once knew.
Drowning in desolate loneliness
For fears much too great to be known...
These fears are yet proof of our perfect imperfections.

Feelings all too human to touch or feel
Break what was once our mind and souls,
Caressing our free nature into ticking time bombs
All too often they take precious lives
For sometimes we fail to see mortal importance.

All too long we have yearned for happy eternities.
Immortality too powerful for us to hold.
We have failed to see our deepest achievement's
Of living in such an evil, hellish land
For you see we are surviving in a world where we should be living!

They try to label me,
Tell me who I'm supposed to be
But I'm not giving in to that.
On a scale from 1 to 10
They try to tell me how I am
But I'm better then that,
I don't need your numbers because

I am perfect as I am
I don't need you to tell me
Who I'm supposed to be.
Hey, why is it we get objectified?
Told we are not perfect as we are
And that we have to change
In order to belong.

Why is it everyone wants to be on top,
Looking like the "perfect" person they see in magazines?
Nobody seems to realise
We're made to be who we are
Not some fake idea
And unrealistic dream where nobody feels good enough.

We are perfect as we are
We can be whoever we choose to be
There's no reason that
We should change at all.
We are not somebody you can alter
Or try and squeeze into that box
We all belong as who we are!

I don't want to sit around waiting for a knight in shining armour
I want to be my own hero
And not let people change that.
Why cant I be who I'm meant to be
Is that so wrong?
Will it ever be seen as perfect
To be who we are?

They try to stick me in that box,
Label me and make me feel small
But I can't give them that power.
On a scale from 1 to 10
I am perfect as I am
I don't need someone telling me who I'm supposed to be,
Because no matter what anyone says we are all perfect as we are.

Its so hard to be near you when I feel this way
Trying to bite my tongue, not let the feelings show
But when you come close my heart skips a beat.
I’m losing my mind not knowing what to do.
Wishing everyone would just stop, leave it all alone
‘cause my heart can’t take this any more.
I can’t take this, but I can’t let go.
All I know is...

It feels so good, its not good,
How could it be so wrong?
I think back, I get stuck,
Don’t know which way to go!
I wish we could, I’m hoping we could find a way...
Why can’t it just be simple?
I try stand, forget it,
It’s just so tough.
I wish we could, I’m hoping we could find a way...

It’s so hard to know where you stand, stuck in this
Wanting to love you but I’m afraid of this.
When we’re apart, its you that I miss!
Wish I could bottle all my feelings, get rid of everything
Just stop these feelings ‘cause I don’t want to get hurt
Oh, I don’t have the strength too...

It feels good, its not good,
How could it be so wrong?
I think back, I get stuck,
Don’t know which way to go!
I wish we could, I’m hoping we could find a way...
Why can’t it just be simple?
I try stand, forget it,
It’s just so tough.
I wish we could, I’m hoping we could find a way...

Lets try and start a new chapter
Turn the page, lets start today, we’ll create our story the way we want.
Its so obvious that this can never be our life...

It feels good, its not good,
How could it be so wrong?
I think back, I get stuck,
Don’t know which way to go!
I wish we could, I’m hoping we could find a way...
Why can’t it just be simple?
I try stand, forget it,
It’s just so tough.
(Why’s it so tough)
I wish we could, I’m hoping we could find a way...

I wish we could, I’m hoping we could find a way...
Hoping we could find a way...

bold* what is wrong? Why can't you just be happy? Just let it all go!

Do you not understand that I am trying to be happy and I'm trying to let it all go, but I can't. I'm just going through life pretending to be okay.

bold Why are you such an attention seeker who cannot possibly help yourself? Why do you cut when it's stupid and pointless?

If I do this for attention why do I hide it? Why do I smile and laugh in front of you pretending nothing is wrong? To me it's to help me cope, so I can feel in control of some aspect of my life...

Don't come and accuse me of doing this for attention. There is so much going on in my head that you would never understand. Please do not question or judge me... you may know my name but you do not know my story.

Tired of being cast aside
As soon as someone better comes along.
Tired of feeling like nothing to you
When all I do is try to support you.
Why is it okay to make me feel
Like a complete waste of space?
Why is it okay to make me feel
Like I'm never good enough for anyone?

Shout and scream will there is nothing left.
Put me in that grave like you are desperate too.
Make my life hell,
Spill all my secrets...
Continue your violent, death threats.
I will just pretend it means nothing to me
But truthfully I cant wait for the day
When I don't have to feel at all.

Once a long time ago I remember it all,
As if your words were etched into my skin...
I remember your words,
Your vicious twisted laugh
Sending me spinning into a forgotten void.

Your words were your weapons
Tearing at my ****** skin,
Ripping my heart into millions of pieces.
Not the daughter you ever wanted,
A mistake was all you ever thought of.

Your eyes were like two black vortex's
Draining every inch of hope from my once glimmering daydreams.
You ripped my world in two
Leaving me to dye among the fallen leaves of autumn.
Of course you never cared.

I am the daughter
You would gladly watch die!

I can be a strong person,
But every once in a while,
I would like someone to take my hand
And tell me that everything's going to be alright
Because honestly
I'm losing I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.

The worst goodbyes
Are the ones too painful
To speak!

The worst goodbyes
Are the ones that you
Never get to say!

I guess its been a while
Since I've felt okay,
Since I have smiled.
Me, they say is so put together
But I'm lost inside.
I've forgotten what its like just to feel okay,
Just praying for a day when there is no more rain.

Now I'm
Left here breaking down,
Crying all through the night.
Just hiding away from the world.
This time I'll keep it all inside!

I hardly feel alive,
Just going through the motions
But I'm done with trying.
This pain that's inside, unbearable,
Just getting worse everyday.
I wish that I could hide away!
I wish that I didn't exist!

Now I'm
Left here breaking down,
Crying all through the night.
Just hiding away from the world.
This time I'll keep it all inside!

I feel so low,
I've hit the bottom
With nowhere to go.
I just need to escape!

Thank you,
For being there when no one else was.
For giving me a reason to stay,
For giving me a reason to hope.

Thank you,
For making life seem more bearable,
For making me smile more then I have in a while,
For making everything feel okay, even if it was just for tonight.

Thank you,
For being my reason, even though you may not know that.
For not judging me and not giving up on me.
For being my reason to give life another chance.

There are not enough words to tell you
Just how truly thankful I am.
I just wish I could prove to you how much it really means.
Thank you, I love you.

I said I love you
And you said it back...
Do you mean it the way I do,
Or just as friends?

That's it,
I've had enough!
Sick of the pain,
Sick of the tears.
I'm lost and cant be found.
I'm done!
I just cannot take this anymore.
I was looking for a reason to hold on,
I can't seem to find it.
I'm done.
Its over.
Goodbye!

Run away,
They just cant see
All the tears that slipped from your eyes.
Hide your face,
Don't let them see
You're losing grip on reality.

I'm lost inside
And have no way out.
I'm trapped inside
My own dark mind.
I'm no longer afraid to let go
And just end it all now.

Run away,
No one notices your hurting,
Cant see past the "I'm fine" your saying.
Never seem to look
Past the smiles as tears roll down.
What is the point in hanging on?

I feel like I cant do this.
Anyday could be my last,
These tears fall as I struggle
To get to grips of all my fears.
Terrified of never being good enough
To me or anyone.
Scared of failure proving I'm not worthy.
If I fail my dream I know it will be my end
But I'm not even sure I can make it that far.
I want to **** myself
But not to die.
Just so I don't have to feel this pain.

I may smile on the outside
But it's all one big lie.
I'm dying inside
Tearing at my akin
Just so I can feel, even for a second.
You tell me I look fine
But little do you know
That I'm one step off the edge...
Teetering...
Waiting for a reason to stay.
You say I look happy
But I'm not.
I starve to feel worthy,
I cut to feel alive.
I think of suicide as a way of ending this pain.
I don't want to die
But I no longer want to hurt.
So what's that...
I look fine?
Little do you know behind my smile
Lies a thousand little secrets

I cut
Just to feel alive.

I cry
Just to feel pain.

I skip meals
Just to feel worthy.

I don't sleep
Just to feel something.

Now, I don't even know
If I'm feeling anything at all.

Looking in my tainted mirror
Disgusted by what I see.
The fat protruding through my shirt,
Covering every inch of my vile body.
Hating my reflection,
I must get rid of the fat I see.

Calories I can't stand,
Cut them down,
Cut them out.
Lose the weight and maybe then
I'll finally be happy in my skin.

Workout, build up a sweat.
Don't eat,
Don't feel.
Work the weight off so you can see
Bones sticking out, the glorious wish.

Looking in my tainted mirror
Disgusted by what I see.
The fat protruding through my shirt,
Cutting out and counting down
The evil that enters my mouth.
I must get rid of the fat I see!

I'm standing on the edge,
Wanting to take that one last breath.
Too much pain inside for me to take.
I want to end it all,
Don't want to cry again,
Fed up of pointless night
Wondering where it all went wrong.
I'm on the edge
And I cant take this anymore.

Maybe if I cut myself
Or made myself prettier and thinner
Then you would love me,
Not leave me all alone.

Maybe if I made that jump
Or made myself in your image
Then I would finally be good enough
And not an outcast.

Maybe if I cut myself
Or made myself prettier and thinner
Then you would finally love me
And I wouldn't be the shameful daughter.

I miss you!
The girl with long flowing hair
As she ran wild and free.

I miss you!
The girls entrancing smile
And faith in everything.

I miss you!
The strong independent girl
Who you thought was brave and collected.

I miss you!
You've been stolen from me
By those monsters in the night.

I miss you!
The girl I used to be
Now lost in the darkness.