No more lies
I think I should tell the truth.

For every time you've asked if I'm okay
I'm not even though I say I am.

For every time you've asked if I need a helping hand
I do more then ever even though I try to push you all away.

For every time you've offered your shoulder
Is it still available I'm close to tears.

For every time you tell me you're scared when I cut
I lied, told you I had stopped,
I haven't and I'm scared too.

For every time you asked if I still want to die
I've told you no to keep you from worrying
But honestly the urges are stronger everyday.

For every time I've answered your questions with a smile on my face
Please know I'm lying, I need you to push me
To save me from myself.

I want to scream,
I want to shout
But I know I'm on my own.
I want to cut,
I want to cry
But my hands won't stop this shaking tonight.

I wish somebody knew
That I can't do it tonight.
I wish somebody knew
That I feel like I'm losing myself.

I want to hide,
I want to fade away
But I know it's not worth it at all.
I want to live,
I want to die
But oh how I long to be buried 6 feet underground.

I wish I didn't have to hide
All these tears that are falling down.
I wish someone would hold me tight
All I want is someone to refuse to let me go.

I want to bleed,
I want to be invisible
I know I'm capable of doing this.
I want to go,
I want to never come back
I wish I had never lived.

When you notice me staring into nothingness,
Do not call me back,
I am trying to imagine a better day.

When you see me write incoherent words,
Do not ask me for their meaning,
I am trying to make sense of these thoughts inside my head.

When you see my nails sink into my arms,
Do not tell me to stop,
I just long to feel something that's not emptiness.

When you see me tugging at my clothes,
Do not ask me why,
I am just nervous of what people may think of me.

When you see me walking alone,
Do not come to my side or try to reach me,
I'm just trying to calm myself down.

If you ever see marks or bruises on my body,
Do not ask what has happened
Because I do not know myself.

If you ever see cuts or scars on my arms,
Do not pretend you know how it feels,
I'm not looking for your sympathy, I just need a release.

If you ever see my body tremble,
Please do not ask me why,
I am willing myself to just stop and breathe.

If you ever see me rocking myself,
Please do not make your jokes,
I just need to feel comforted at times.

If I ever arrive late,
Do not ask me where I have been,
I was busy trying to control the urges.

If I ever seem distant with you,
Please do not ask me what I'm thinking,
I am probably just wanting to disappear.

If I ever say I do not care,
Do not be fooled,
I am just probably tired of hearing these 'jokes'.

If I ever make a mess of things (like usual),
Do not yell at me or make me feel small,
I will clean up my mistakes, it just takes time.

If I ever hurt you,
Do not hate me,
Sometimes I just forget how to act.

If I ever cry on your shoulder,
Do not be uncomfortable,
It just means I am comfortable with you.

Please do not ask me if I am okay
Because I am never okay.
I am just surviving.

Please do not try to figure me out,
I am only human,
I just like secrets.

Please do not try to hug or touch me,
It makes my skin crawl,
I am not used to that touch.

Please do not try to comfort me,
Its not helping.
Just stay within reach, stay quiet,
Empty your mind of doubt.

If I'm ever crying or just being dumb
And I tell you to leave me alone,
Don't...I'm just too scared to admit I need you.
I need you to hold me when I feel so broken.

I see your smiling face,
The gleam always in your eyes.
I see no flaws with you
Everything is so perfect.
When its been one of those days
You always know exactly what to say
To make it all feel better.

You make me feel loved,
You make me feel beautiful,
You make me feel dance around the room Cinderella kind of magical...
You make me feel special,
Like no one else will ever do
What you do to me...

I no longer care to stay
These tears won't stop falling.
There's a lump in my throat
And a knife in my hand...
One...
Two...
Three...
The blood just keeps on spilling.

I'm done with this life,
I'm done with this pain.
Sod it I'll jump
Now here comes the train...
One...
Two...
Three...
Ready to jump and no one's noticed.

"It always has to be about you,
Don't you ever think of anyone else?
You're so selfish, you're so stupid.
I've got to do this all again next year."

I'm the eldest child and growing up fast
University soon and you won't help.
You taunt and mock me
Tell me I can't make it,
Now you don't even want me to go but threaten me if I don't.

Struggling to find a way to manage my time,
School, cadets, open days, all the musts.
You tell me you won't help me get there,
I'll just go on my own that's fine.
But no I'm too selfish to be worth your time.

I'm not worth your time I know,
You often tell me that enough.
I'm selfish and don't realise you have other kids you say
I do realise that but I need your support too.
I'm not as strong as you presume I am.

"It always has to be about you,
Don't you ever think of anyone else?
You're so selfish, you're so stupid.
I've got to do this all again next year."

I look in the mirror
I see nobody worthy.
I see a fat, ugly, lonely girl
Staring blankly back at me.
I make a promise that day
That I will change the way I am
I don't care how extreme this is
Welcome to my ABC diet.

A...
Anorexic I strive for
Perfectly skinny
Bones showing through my tender skin.
A...
Anorexic I long for,
Perfect and what you want
My mirror is beckoning me.

B...
Bulimia I now seek
Throwing up the minimum I eat
Helping maintain a figure worth looking at.
B...
Bulimic sounds so scary
But it's helpful all the same
My mirror is screaming it'll be worth it in the end.

C...
Calorie counting day in, day out
Watch the number consumed.
Minimum a day and I'll be worth keeping around.
C...
Calorie counting
The lower consumed, the skinnier I'll be
My mirror taunting your not pretty or thin enough yet.

I look in the mirror
I see nobody worthy.
I see a fat, ugly, lonely girl
Staring blankly back at me.
I make a promise that day
That I will change the way I am
I don't care how extreme this is
Welcome to my ABC diet.

I lie threw gritted teeth
None of this ever feels right,
Is this how it's all going to end?
I'll close my eyes and
Cling onto hope but it's
Getting stronger. I've got to face it!
Can I take it?

I'll have to stand my ground
Even if it's all on my own.
I've got to stand up to this
Even if it's fake smiles and
Bitter tears streaming down.
I'll close my eyes and wish I can make it.
Can I take it?

I'm just a scared little girl inside
But I've got to keep fighting.
All you need to know is I'm trying.
Now all of this is everything I have to take,
You will never understand the demons I face.
I'll try not let them bring me down!
Can I take it?

I've stood up and braved it all
So I'll try not reject everyone once again.
I'm still shattered on the inside,
Broken from all the memories.
I'm bleeding out one last time.
I'm just a naive, broken child still!
Can I take it?

Reason clouds my eyes
Reflections of a thousand lies
Never ending, time killing me.
Losing my faith for the last time.
I've lost who I am,
I can't stand and fight anymore.
I can't take it!

I have lost my battle with my demons.
I'm completely broken and empty,
I can't stand and fight.
I can no longer face it all.
I watch my life take a great fall.
I used to be a happy child, now I'm dead inside!
I couldn't take it!

You stare at me from where you lay,
From the darkest corner of my room.
Your porcelain face so fragile, so bleak,
Not so perfectly sculpted.
Cracked all down one side
With your creepy broken eye,
Nothing left but a black hole like hell.

You sit and wait so silently until nightfall,
You stir and come to life.
Mesmerising yet dangerous with a melodic haunting laugh.
Your gaze so intense, your motions so forceful
Beckoning my broken soul to your hell.
Day light comes and your charade starts over,
This seeming nothing more then a dream.

Together we lay down, your tiny hand in mine,
Your icy cold grip, so frightening, so soothing.
Enchanting, entrancing, torturing my mind;
Your broken eyes leading to he'll
Draws my broken heart, mind and soul to you.
The words you spoke to me the last night I live
So captivating, like a deathly glorious spell:

            "Come into the night with me,
              Your scars will bleed but
              No one around you cares.
              Come into the darkness with me,
              Open your eyes upto meet mine
              I'll take you away, miles away
              From everyone you've ever known.
              Come into the night with me,
              I will guide you through this the easy way
              Both of our hearts won't beat any longer.
              No more emptiness inside.
              Open your eyes to this hell we share:
                        Death!!"

You stare at me from where you lay,
From the darkest corner of the room.
Left thinking, should I follow you?
My little porcelain doll.

Whispers of true friendship.
Is what you gave to me
And yet you've turned your back
And I can barely see,
Through the tears that blur my vision
And the pain that holds my heart.
The funny thing is, is that you promised
You would never leave me alone.

Whispers of I love you' s
And promises of forever.
By best friends words
That meant the world
Seem to be crashing down.
Kindness that I cherished
The person I so dearly wanted
Pushed me away in fear.

Whispers of true friendship.
Too many promises of I'm here
The gentle words you spoke to me
Have been torn out from my mind.
So many long, tight hugs
Making me feel wanted
Are now broken and shattered
On the cold blood stained floor.

Whispers of fighting together
Never leaving or parting.
Helping eachother through thick and thin
But now that seems to be leaving.
So many distant memories
I'm trying to cling on too.
The words forming in my head
Over and over and over....

I needed you there....
I need you here

Today is the 70th anniversary of D-day.

We will never forget all who fought for us,
We will always remember them.

Everyone who fought, died, were injured and those who survived will always be in our memories. They fought so we could live life the way we want to.

Although I don't know anyone who fought personally in the terrible battle in June on the Normandy beaches, I am still thankful and grateful for all those men who lost their lives and fought for us... we will remember them and never forget what they did and what they gave up for us.

Today is the 70th anniversary of D-day.

We will never forget those who fought for us to live the life that we have now.

We will remember them.

So many tears I'm trying to hold back,
I don't want anyone to see me cry.
Pretend I'm okay and that I'm not hurt
But honestly I no longer feel secure.

So many scars I'm tearing open
Exposing the wounds once again.
Wearing a fake smile I've promised myself
I won't let anyone see me breakdown, this time.

So many questions left unanswered
Maybe it's better off this way.
I've been left torn apart and broken
Maybe I'm better off dead after all.

So many fears I'm trying to ignore,
I don't want to seem so weak or fragile.
Trying to find out where I belong,
I have no chance of succeeding.

So many tears I'm trying to hold back,
I don't want anyone to see me cry.
Pretend I'm okay and that I'm not hurt
But honestly I no longer feel safe or wanted.

When did I come crashing down?
When did I reach the bottom?

I never realised
Just how much I seem to cry,
Every night without fail.

I never realised
How bad I really was
Till I blacked from loss of blood.

I never realised
How much it hurt
Until I could no longer feel.

I never realised
That I no longer cared
If I never woke again.

Maybe I'm getting weaker,
Slowly giving up all together.
I never realised, well I guess I did
I just lied to hide the truth and pain.
Truth is I never knew the right words to say.

When did I lose my rich on reality?
When did I only long for death?

What if I ran away?
Through myself in front of a train?
What if I cut too deep?
Let these pills take me to eternal sleep?
Would you cry at all
Or miss me?
Am I going to be easy to forget and move on from?
Am I worth anything to you?
Would you care if I took
My life?

I have a story which I have never told.
I've been in pain so much longer then you know
But I don't want to dwell on it much longer.
I just hope you know, all this pain you've caused
Has made me stronger then you could ever know.

Now I was a victim,
I'll never let you push me around again.
Now I'm a fighter,
I'll wear my scars without shame.
Now I'm a warrior,
I won't let this break me anymore.
Now I'm a survivor
In more ways then you know.

Your eyes hold me captive
Locked inside your madness,
They never fail to leave me breath taken.

Your eyes hold light which glistens
Sending my head whirling,
They never fail to leave me paralyzed.

Your eyes are like shooting stars
Holding my gaze forever so it seems,
They never fail to leave me wishing more.

Your eyes so mesmerising
Entrancing and so enchanting
They never fail to make my heart skip a beat.

Now I don't know where this has come from
Or why it is I feel the way I do
But...

Your eyes in always in my mind
I think about you all the time,
They never fail to keep you in my head.

I need a form of light to follow,
I need some kind of direction to go.
I may of lost my way again
Now I'm bruised.
I kind of need a friend to take my hand
Or a hero...
Is it you?

I need a pulling, cause I can't seem to sleep
I need your warm embraces to make me feel safe.
I feel lost without you
My minds spinning, I'm confused
I kind of need someone to help me through
Or a hero...
Is it you?

Last night I watched the stars
Shine so bright and hold me captive.
Last night I shed a thousand tears
For someone who couldn't care less.
Last night I wanted one simple answer
And you couldn't even give me that.

I asked myself all night
If you're worth all this pain.
I asked myself and begged
For my mind to let you go
But it's an impossible task for me to do.
Why do I care more then I should?

I needed one answer, that's all I asked
You couldn't even give me that.
What's holding you back from the truth?
I needed to know exactly what you thought
And yet I feel you still held so much back...
Please I need to know...

I used to fear the thought of darkness
Now it's my only companion.
Bitter tears and pouring blood,
My only forms of comfort.
All along you promised me
That you would never turn your back and leave.
I knew you couldn't keep it
I knew I would be left along.
Now I'm asking one thing...
If I ran away, never to return
Would you even notice?
Would you even care?
Would you hope that we could of worked it out somehow?

Don't tell me you know who I am,
Don't tell me you know what I do
I'm not the one you can play with
I need to know what's real.

Don't make out you can't do this,
Don't make out its never enough for you
I'm going to tell you one time only
I can't get over everything you do...

You're like a rush,
you give me butterflies.
You're so special to me,
There's no words to explain it.
I don't know what this feeling is
But I don't want it to go.

Don't treat me so differently
Don't treat me like I never understand.
I'm going to be by your side till you say go,
I'm going to be here no matter what comes our way.

Don't make out I will never get this
Don't pretend like I'm over all my problems.
I've got this funny feeling inside of me
It's leaving me so confused, what should I do?

You're one in a milliom,
you can bring out the best in me.
I don't want to lose you at all
There's no words to explain how you make me feel.
What is this feeling I feel?
How do I know what to do?

I hate you, don't leave me.
I need you, set me free.
Please hear me out
I've been here with you before
And I can't handle another fallout.
I admit I'm confused, I'm terrified of you!
I hate you, don't leave me.

I need you to trust me
But you will not listen
To a single word I say to you.
I'm in pieces, I can't take this pain!
Hear me out before we go again.
I'll admit I'm scared of how you make me feel,
I hate you, don't leave me.

I admit I'm probably mad,
I'm so confused and out of my depths!
I can't take what you do to me.
You never seem to understand
And you just can't explain anything to me.
No! I can no longer deal with all this in my head.
I hate you, don't leave me.

I hate you, don't leave me!
I need you to be honest with me.
Please listen when I ask you these questions,
Please don't run away.
Tell me whatever you want. I need you.
Please set me free, stay with me.
I hate you, don't leave me.

You don't seem to care if you break me,
Leave me if you want too
But please know I love the way you used to comfort me.
You don't seem to want to hear me out...
I'm addicted to the way you make me feel,
I'm gonna admit I'm terrified of losing you.
I hate you, don't leave me!

Maybe you shouldn't come back to me.
I've been thinking too much,
I'm sorry for all the times
I can't find the words to reply.
Maybe you shouldn't come back,
I'm tired of getting so mad at you
And I'm scared we're only going to get let down...
Maybe you shouldn't come back to me.
Is it really worth all this confusion?
Is it really worth the tears that are shed?
We're only making this harder then it needs to be.
Maybe you shouldn't come back to me... I'm sorry.

I'm strong enough to leave you,
Weak enough to need you.
I don't know what I'm still here for?
Maybe it's in case
You're strong enough to leave me
But weak enough to need me...
Maybe you'll miss me and come back to how we were...
I need that now more then ever!

Friends, yeah I have them
But I don't know if they know
The battle that I'm facing
On my own.
This battle is so tiring
I'm slowly letting go
This one last time I tell you now
I always feel so alone...
I'm all alone,
I feel so cold and alone.
I'm lost in this world,
So dark, just on my own
I'm so alone
Even thought everyone is around me,
I'm all alone,
So very alone!!

I'm trying to fight
But this weakness is strong
It's taking over me
And I can't find anything worth holding onto.
These voices in my head
Pull me under the waves.
How am I too carry on
When I can't find the strength?

I'm holding onto what's left of me
But I've failed too many times
To even try to believe that these anything worth holding onto.
I'm slowly letting go
Because I've lost all hope,
I can't even find a dream to get me by.
How am I too carry on
When I can't find a reason to believe?

I'm lost inside this emptiness,
No escape, I'm lost and its lonely.
Everything is wrong and broken.
I have nothing left to hold onto anymore.
The light, the passion fades to black.
I'm done with making everyone's life hell.
There's nothing left worth holding onto.

I'm an untameable beast,
So ferocious and vile.
I will burn you with my wicked stare.
I've changed into and evil monster,
There's no going back.
This fiery temper consumes
The now faded light of life.

Sometime it's better to be alone,
This is just one of those times.
So please understand I'm not shutting you out
I just want to be all by myself.
It's better and safer this way.
At least you won't get hurt.
Sometimes it's better to be alone,
This is just one of those times.

Sometime it's better to be alone,
This is just one of those times.
So please understand I'm not shutting you out
I just want to be all by myself.
It's better and safer this way.
At least you won't get hurt.
Sometimes it's better to be alone,
This is just one of those times.

I wake up every morning wishing that I hadn't and its a battle to get up and ready for school. When I manage to go in I act happy and cheerful and no one seems to see through my disguise. That's why it's so hard for me to find any reason to stay alive, I know no one would care or notice if I disappeared tonight or tomorrow, no one would miss me.
   School is hell to me. It used to be my only escape but now it's where the people speak and whisper their lies and rumours. It's where they bad mouth self-harmers and suicidal people, it's where they don't care who they hurt as long as they stay cool.
   Coming home after school is a nightmare, I know it's where my mum's disappointed face awaits me to question me about my day. I know it's where one of my little sister rubs it in my face that she is better than me, and finally it's where my youngest sister is so sensitive and naive that the cuts on my wrists are mysterious to her. All I do is fail, disappoint and let people down.
   Evening comes and my thoughts are even wilder then they are through the day; this is the only time I eat a meal and I fell backing  about that. Evenings are were I get worse, where I feel myself slipping under. The evenings are the Times when I long to **** myself. I hate life and when I finally fall asleep I wish I never wake again.
   One day my story will change; I would have no morning and I would  have no night, I would have a coffin and a whole in the ground. I would be happily dead hopefully sometime soon.

Sick of being beaten down
By people who say they care,
They don't really give a sh*t
As long as they don't see
The damage that it truly does.

I never did anything to you,
This is all becoming too much.
Why act like you can't, when you can?
Now I receive the grief.

Nobody gives one about others,
They don't care how you hurt
As long as they get what they want
Everybody else can go to hell.

If you thought I was hurt before
Take one last look now!
I'm torn and broken, I've stopped believing.
I'm done trying to be people's friends.

Is that me done with you?
Do you care that I worry about you?
What if I let you go,
would you care enough to tell me no?

Is that me done here?
Does anyone even care?
What if I died tonight,
would you even notice I was gone?

Is that this over?
Is there any reason to hang on?
What if I ran away for good,
would you miss me at all?

Why do you do this?
Why do you insist on breaking me down?
What if I disappeared right now,
would you even give a ****?

This voice inside your head
Torments you and tells you things untrue.
This voice you hear inside
Talks with you and tells you lies.
This voice I know you hear so clear
Is pulling you away from me.
This voice you say is apart of you
Is pulling you away from me.
This voice that is taking control
Is ripping you away from reality.
This voice you choose over me
Is rejecting the promises you made.
This voice which is your enemy
Is becoming your only companion.
This voice which you say is company
Is scaring me and I'm losing you.
This voice which gives you ideas
Is taking over... Will I still have you tomorrow?

Let's runaway and never look back.
You and me, hand in hand...
We could escape this world of pain

Thought the professionals knew best?
I tell you I hate life,
That all I want is too escape
But all you do is send me away,
Tell me I'm fine and that I should just smile.
I thought you professionals knew best?

Thought that friends were there to support you?
I tell you I'm down and that I'm done
But you push me away
And ignore my cries for help.
You tell me I'll be okay when you don't have a clue.
I thought friends were supposed to support you?

Thought that parents were supposed to care?
I say I feel hopeless and like I've failed you
But you ignore my plea
And tell me I'm being stupid.
You say I don't know what you've done for me
And that I need to stop being so selfish...
I though parents were supposed to care for you?

I thought that professionals could help you out?
Well I guess they can't because they can't see my cries for help!!
I thought that friends were there to support you?
Well I guess they don't understand that I can't do this on my own!!
I though that parents were supposed to give a ****?
Well I guess that they don't when all you do is cause trouble!!

Looking out my window all I see is rain
A broken heart lost in this world
And nowhere left to run.
Time is going way too fast,
it’s just hard to make every second last,
Now all I have are these questions spinning in my head.

Why can’t you see I’m not lying?
Why can’t you see that I’m good enough
just being me?
Why can’t you see that I’m changing?
Why is that you never want to see the real me?

What am I supposed to do,
when all I really want is to be with you?

Looking back has never been so hard for me,
way too many memories staring me down.
Just waiting to be found.
I know what I have to do
I have to face my troubles on my own,
I never seem to be rid of these haunting thoughts.

Why can’t you see I’m not lying?
Why can’t you see that I’m good enough
just being me?
Why can’t you see that I’m changing?
Why is it that you never want to see the real me?

How am I supposed to change
when I don’t know who I am anymore?

Looking back over time makes me see the truth
of what I’ve done to hurt you for the last time.
Just wanting things to change.
I no longer know what to do S
hould I just drown in this river of tears?
Should I just let go of this cold, empty world?

Why can’t you see I’m not lying?
Is that it? Is it over for us?
Lies they remain.
Why can’t you see that I’m trying?
Trying to stop this monster from consuming my life!

These tears in our eyes they lie.
These tears show how we have made our mistakes.

You mean so much to me
I can't bare to lose you to this thing...
When you are not here
I don't know how much I can take.

Without you I feel broke,
Without you I've got no hand to hold,
Without you I feel torn,
Without you I'm nothing more then a shadow,
Without you I have no reason to stay.

When with you I leave everything behind
You make me feel like I have a purpose.
Please just stop time right here
I don't want to lose you to this world...

Without you I feel empty,
Without you I have no melody to sing,
Without you I feel nothing,
Without you I'm like a sail torn in a storm,
Without you I have no meaning to live.

When I'm with you I can be myself
You make it easier to breathe
Please don't get lost out of sight
You are the reason I hang on...

You mean so much to me
I can't bare to lose you to this thing...
When you are not here
I don't know how much I can take

Those times when you want to let your tears flow
But you know you can't.
Keep them locked up inside,
Don't let them out, don't let them show.
It's just a sign that I'm weak, I'm broken,
I just can't go on.
So here I go, I'm an emotional wreck anyway.

Tell me not to give up on life
Are you even listening?
I'm through with all this pain,
I'm sick and tired, just torn to pieces.
Don't tell me to take your hand;
You know how much I'm breaking,
All we do is seem to fight each day.

I wish I could say how much it meant to me
To have you in my life,
I guess that's not so hard to do.
I know it feels like forever
But I promise you'll get better, just take that leap.
I won't stick around and hurt you anymore,
I'm falling so hard, torn from the inside out.

I never meant to let you down so bad,
Now I'm stuck in this place.
I'm stuck in this storm with the rain so heavy
It beats my skin, opening these scars.
I'm done with letting everyone down so often.
I've just got to get away,
I'm falling apart, into a million pieces.

I should never of told you
How much I was hurting,
I should never of told you
How much I was bleeding out
Because I've now let you down...
This was my biggest mistake.

I've heard what's been said
How you tell me I should die.
You laugh and you joke
When you know that it hurts.
You can't even look me on the eyes
This was my biggest mistake...

You push me away from you
I know it's hard to take in
I know it's not what you want
But I can't help this way I feel
I've tried to hide it from you
But it's too late you want me to disappear.

You've stood there and joked about me
Left me feeling so small and worthless.
You don't seem to realise this makes it worse.
I'm agreeing with what you said
I'll **** myself, you all win.

The biggest mistake I made
Was ever telling you the truth.
The biggest mistake I made
Was believing you are true family.
The biggest mistake I made
Was living for this long.

Trapped in a world
So cruel and vile.
Bitter twisted sorrows
Lies told by the world.
Trapped in a cage
So cold and icy.
Lies cut into my skin
Etched into my mind.

Trapped inside my head
So twisted an dark.
Bitter sweet nightmares
Monsters unfurling.
Trapped inside a clouded mind
So evil and fake.
Bleeding out abandonment
Longing to belong.

Trapped inside a nightmare
Crying for a meaning
Longing to be wanted somewhere
Bleeding to feel something.
Trapped inside hell
Wanting an escape
Knowing I have no chance
I'm ending my so called life.

I've become undone
I've lost myself
To a world of lies and hate
A world where no one cares.
I've become nothing
I've been left for dead
In a world where I've been cut down
An endless aching misery.

I've never been good enough
I'm afraid of breaking for good
I've never learnt to dream or believe
Because I know I'll never belong anywhere.
I cannot see where I'm meant to be
I've been left alone in a world so cold
And I can no longer live,
These nights have been too long.

I feel I cannot carry on
I'm not one of those lucky ones
I can't hold on to this life
When I'm not strong enough.
These violent dreams
Shake me awake and I die.
I wanted to become somebody
But all I am is a wilted brittle rose

One more cut I say
This turns into many
Trying to feel something
Worth living for.
One more cut
As I watch the blood
Spiralling like a storm
Just like how I feel.

Blood red memories
My anger and fear...
Its all getting worse
But here is my release
So I say just one more
But that turns into many
Long lost feelings
A reason to know I'm still alive.

Cold metal feelings
Like cold metal nightmare s
Awake me so violently
Shaken and torn.
Icy blast of pain and past
Freeze my heart and mind
To the world so dead around me
But one more cut awakens me.

One more cut that's all I say
One more cut turns to many
Blood running down my arms
Feeling of comfort.
One more cut that's all I'll do
To make me feel alive
But what if one day I go too deep
Is this company worth this risk?

If I could have just one wish
I know just what it would be...
I would wish for you to be okay again
And not have anything to cause you pain.

If I could have just one moment
I know I would spend it with you
I will hope for the day that you can see
I'm falling for you once again.

If I could have your time
I hope I could make you see
That you alone can make my day
I just want to do the same for you.

If I could have one wish
I know I would use it to help you
I would wish all your pain away
And maybe one day I can help you,
The way that you have helped me...

Trying to speak my mind
You never seem to realise
How much you truly mean to me.
Trying to make you see
But you're never listening
You need to try and sort things out.

Maybe one day you will realise
That friends and family are here.
Maybe one day you will listen
And hear the words I say.
I guess someday maybe
You will realise I care,
It doesn't matter who you say you are
I'll be here for you I swear.

It's like your always hurting
You expect me to be there
But some days I'm trying to stop
Myself from ending it all
But I'm still there for you
Like you want me to be.

Maybe one day you will notice
That I'm never far away from you.
Maybe one day you will hear ne
And believe the words I say.
I guess someday maybe
You will see what I see,
It doesn't matter what you say to ne
I'm always by your side.

Maybe I am blinded
By the future I see for you
But believe me when I tell you
How special you are to me.
You're the brother I always wanted
And I won't let you go.

Maybe one day this will be over
And you won't feel this pain anymore.
Maybe one day you'll be happy
Without a care in the world.
I guess someday maybe
You will realise your worth,
It doesn't matter what you're going through
You will not be going alone.

If only you could see my tears
I cry each and every day.
If only you could hear my voice
Screaming for someone to help me.
If only you could feel my pain
That I've buried somewhere inside.
If only you knew how it feels to want something
Want to give up your life so bad.
If only you could see through my disguise
Which I use so often around society.
If only you could see the scars on my wrists
The ones that are made every night.
If only you took the time to see
That I'm not the strong one anymore.
If only you saw my demons inside
Then maybe you would attempt to understand.

It doesn't matter anymore
If I stay or if I leave
All these made up stories
Of wanting me to stay
They don't mean anything
It's just a way to fool me...
I wanna cry

It's getting so much harder
I cannot see the light
All these messed up feelings
I just wanna die
They stop me from feeling
It's just a way of seeing me...
I can't go on

I'm almost over the edge
There's nothing left anymore
All these messed up daydreams
I just want to cry
They just want to see me die
It's just my head all alone...
I'm done now

It's too hard to carry on
There's nothing for me here
All these made up stories
I just want to hide
They just want to see me crash
And burn inside my mind...
I'm finished

It's getting so bad
That I just can't hold on
I'm losing my grip on the world
And I'm slowly fading away...
It's getting so hard
That I've lost my grip on this life
I'm losing touch with this reality
I've got nowhere to run...

I can't carry on.
Got nowhere to run.
I'm stuck in this life.
My head is spinning.
I can't hold on.
I've got to let go.
No time for goodbyes.
I'm losing my mind...

It's breaking me down
These thoughts are haunting me
Tearing me apart
I can't keep lying to myself...
It's tearing me up
I'm becoming so numb inside
But this is life
I've got to let go

I can't breath
I can't speak
I know you're there
But where do I go?
I can't see
I can't hear
These things that you say
I need an escape...

How many times
Will I go through this fight?
What if tonight's the night?
The night I let go...
I say goodbye for the last time
No more apologies...
Tonight is the night
That I let go...

I'm done trying to show you
Who I truly am...
I'm done trying to help you
If this is the thanks that I get...
So say goodbye, i'm letting go

Thought you said you would be
But now your turning away.
Thought you meant what you told me
Did this all go to your head?
So goodbye...

I know that I've let you down,
I'm bleeding out but I like this...
I feel it slowly running out
I think it's my final goodbye...
I'm letting go..

Thought you said that you cared
But now I see your new face.
Thought you promised to hold on
So why am I slipping away?
My final goodbye

I'm fine, but I'm crying
I'm so tired of trying
To find a way to believe in what you say about me...
I'm fine, but I'm trying
I'm so tired of living
Another day to try see what you see...

I mustn't let you down now,
I mustn't let go and cry...
All these nonsense stories
All made up in my head...
I'm trying to believe
But I'm fine... I'm fine

I'm fine, but it's so hard to believe
What you see inside of me.
I try, but I can't see what you see
But I know, I'll be fine...
I try, but I'm lost inside
I'm fine, but I cry...

My whole world is changing
I don't know where to turn
All these made up stories
Inside of my head, they lie, they lie...
I can't leave you to grieve
But I can't stay and watch me burn... me burn

I'm fine but it's so hard to believe
What they say about who I can be.
I try, but I can't see the ending
But I know, I'll be fine...
I try, but I'm lost inside...
I'm fine, but I cry...

I can't take anymore,
I just don't see what you see...
I've tried, but nothing will past through these walls.
I'm standing in the dark
And everything is not alright...
But I'm fine... I'm NOT fine...

No matter how many times you tell me
I'm never letting you go...
My hand is here for you to hold
You don't have to go alone
I'm never going to let you go...

I know the sky is stormy,
It seems there's no end
But look at me when I tell you
There's always away
Away to get through this....

So let the rain pour down for now,
I'm always here for you,
You never have to go alone
I promise you that...
There is not a day that goes by
That I don't wish I could take it all away...

I know that it's hard
Believe me I'm there too
But I believe in you, you'll find away.
Never give up, you're strong enough
But when it gets too much
I am here....

No matter if the rain is pouring,
You're not going to go this alone....
No matter if the world stops turning,
I'm here to catch you when you fall....
I'll stand by you....