I can be a strong person,
But every once in a while,
I would like someone to take my hand
And tell me that everything's going to be alright
Because honestly
I'm losing I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.

No matter how many times you tell me
I'm never letting you go...
My hand is here for you to hold
You don't have to go alone
I'm never going to let you go...

I know the sky is stormy,
It seems there's no end
But look at me when I tell you
There's always away
Away to get through this....

So let the rain pour down for now,
I'm always here for you,
You never have to go alone
I promise you that...
There is not a day that goes by
That I don't wish I could take it all away...

I know that it's hard
Believe me I'm there too
But I believe in you, you'll find away.
Never give up, you're strong enough
But when it gets too much
I am here....

No matter if the rain is pouring,
You're not going to go this alone....
No matter if the world stops turning,
I'm here to catch you when you fall....
I'll stand by you....

Trapped in a world
So cruel and vile.
Bitter twisted sorrows
Lies told by the world.
Trapped in a cage
So cold and icy.
Lies cut into my skin
Etched into my mind.

Trapped inside my head
So twisted an dark.
Bitter sweet nightmares
Monsters unfurling.
Trapped inside a clouded mind
So evil and fake.
Bleeding out abandonment
Longing to belong.

Trapped inside a nightmare
Crying for a meaning
Longing to be wanted somewhere
Bleeding to feel something.
Trapped inside hell
Wanting an escape
Knowing I have no chance
I'm ending my so called life.

I just don’t belong here,
I don’t understand myself at all.
I don’t want to be here
But I don’t want to leave you till its time…
So if I manage to stay here tonight
Will you please just tell me that it will be alright?
Because I don’t want to be here,
I’m about ready to give up this fight.

I stare at the pictures of us tonight
As these tears stream down my face,
It’s getting harder to breath
And this pain in my chest is taking it out of me.
I see the face of you and someone I don’t like
She’s staring back at me, with a smile I cannot find;
But tonight, I can’t bear to pick up the phone
I can’t even tell you…I’m not alright, I want to go.

I'm terrified you will finally turn away from me,
The long silences increase my anxieties…
I don’t want to hurt you,
I don’t want to bother you again tonight
Because we’re going in circles
And I don’t want you to see the mess that I’m truly in…
So please understand if I try to push you away once again
I just know you can do so much better!

This sharpener blade
Pressed on my skin
Drawing blood as I breathe in.
The scars will not fade
And the scars will not lie
About the story of my life.
The sickening felling I get afterwards
I know that this is no good.
There I  one thing that vegetable
One thing that makes me think
And that is the heartbeat
Which tells me that I'm alive
I cannot escape the feelings
Of never being good enough
I cannot escape the feelings
Of wanting to let go of life.
I'm desperate but still I can't accept
This life is just too hard to handle
So many people think I am strong
But they can't see the tears that fall.
I'm not good enough for life
I'm not good enough to stay alive.
With this cold blade pressed to my skin
I can feel the blood oozing
This lets me know I'm alive
That's the last thing I want to be.

So many people out there
Think that they know me
Truth is you can't see
The secrets inside of me.
So many tears I hide
Screaming for something more.
I can't let them free
Because of what others think of me.

I've got to try and run away.
Let these things disappear.
I'll fade away into nothingness
Let it all wash me away.
I'm too afraid to fight it off
To afraid to speak.
But I know it's getting closer
To the end that I may face.

Food is like a nightmare
A scary reality.
The thoughts of ever eating
Haunt each day I like e.
I have a deep dark secret
The walls I've built to hide.
I cannot speak,I cannot say
The reason that I cry.

Talking is now my enemy
I've lost the ones who cared.
My head is spinning in circles.
I know no one is there.
I'm broken down inside
Left to shed these many tears.
I want to end everything
But I can't open my mouth.

I've pushed them all away.
I know the truth about me.
I'm too ignorant, a *****, an idiot,
Worthless, a failure and weak.
There is no point to carrying on.
There is no point to life.
I don't know what I can do....

I'm lost on these dark shadows.
I have no escape from this.
It's dark and cold.
I'm so alone.
But I'm the reason
You have all fled.

Let's runaway and never look back.
You and me, hand in hand...
We could escape this world of pain

bold* what is wrong? Why can't you just be happy? Just let it all go!

Do you not understand that I am trying to be happy and I'm trying to let it all go, but I can't. I'm just going through life pretending to be okay.

bold Why are you such an attention seeker who cannot possibly help yourself? Why do you cut when it's stupid and pointless?

If I do this for attention why do I hide it? Why do I smile and laugh in front of you pretending nothing is wrong? To me it's to help me cope, so I can feel in control of some aspect of my life...

Don't come and accuse me of doing this for attention. There is so much going on in my head that you would never understand. Please do not question or judge me... you may know my name but you do not know my story.

The worst goodbyes
Are the ones too painful
To speak!

The worst goodbyes
Are the ones that you
Never get to say!

So many words I want to say
But how to make you see,
That how I feel is true.
So many words there jumbled up
Inside my messed up head.
But one thing I know is how strongly I feel
And I just cannot let you go.

You hold me up when I fall down.
You've held me when I've cried.
You are my best friend
This I cannot deny.
So many things I want to tell you
But how to make you see
That I think I've fallen for you again.
I cannot jeopardise what we have.

My best friend, I need you to stay.

Maybe you shouldn't come back to me.
I've been thinking too much,
I'm sorry for all the times
I can't find the words to reply.
Maybe you shouldn't come back,
I'm tired of getting so mad at you
And I'm scared we're only going to get let down...
Maybe you shouldn't come back to me.
Is it really worth all this confusion?
Is it really worth the tears that are shed?
We're only making this harder then it needs to be.
Maybe you shouldn't come back to me... I'm sorry.

I hate you, don't leave me.
I need you, set me free.
Please hear me out
I've been here with you before
And I can't handle another fallout.
I admit I'm confused, I'm terrified of you!
I hate you, don't leave me.

I need you to trust me
But you will not listen
To a single word I say to you.
I'm in pieces, I can't take this pain!
Hear me out before we go again.
I'll admit I'm scared of how you make me feel,
I hate you, don't leave me.

I admit I'm probably mad,
I'm so confused and out of my depths!
I can't take what you do to me.
You never seem to understand
And you just can't explain anything to me.
No! I can no longer deal with all this in my head.
I hate you, don't leave me.

I hate you, don't leave me!
I need you to be honest with me.
Please listen when I ask you these questions,
Please don't run away.
Tell me whatever you want. I need you.
Please set me free, stay with me.
I hate you, don't leave me.

You don't seem to care if you break me,
Leave me if you want too
But please know I love the way you used to comfort me.
You don't seem to want to hear me out...
I'm addicted to the way you make me feel,
I'm gonna admit I'm terrified of losing you.
I hate you, don't leave me!

They try to label me,
Tell me who I'm supposed to be
But I'm not giving in to that.
On a scale from 1 to 10
They try to tell me how I am
But I'm better then that,
I don't need your numbers because

I am perfect as I am
I don't need you to tell me
Who I'm supposed to be.
Hey, why is it we get objectified?
Told we are not perfect as we are
And that we have to change
In order to belong.

Why is it everyone wants to be on top,
Looking like the "perfect" person they see in magazines?
Nobody seems to realise
We're made to be who we are
Not some fake idea
And unrealistic dream where nobody feels good enough.

We are perfect as we are
We can be whoever we choose to be
There's no reason that
We should change at all.
We are not somebody you can alter
Or try and squeeze into that box
We all belong as who we are!

I don't want to sit around waiting for a knight in shining armour
I want to be my own hero
And not let people change that.
Why cant I be who I'm meant to be
Is that so wrong?
Will it ever be seen as perfect
To be who we are?

They try to stick me in that box,
Label me and make me feel small
But I can't give them that power.
On a scale from 1 to 10
I am perfect as I am
I don't need someone telling me who I'm supposed to be,
Because no matter what anyone says we are all perfect as we are.

Now that you’re gone and I’m here on my own
I never knew that you’d made this feel like home
What do I do now that you’ve gone?
I hope your happy there with your place in the stars
‘Cause now I’m down here all alone in the dark

Please, if I could turn back the hands of time
I would finally get to say my last goodbye
Then maybe you would know how I really felt
And I wouldn’t be left here wondering.
If you are out there…
If you can hear me tonight please know
I wasn’t ready to let you go!

I promise you I will stay strong
I know that you wouldn’t want us all to cry.
There are so many things we never got the chance to say
But if you can hear me tonight
Please know that I love you so!

Please, if I could turn back the hands of time
I would finally get to say my last goodbye
Then maybe you would know how I really felt
And I wouldn’t be left here wondering.
If you are out there…
If you can hear me tonight please know
I wasn’t ready to let you go!

Oh please, don’t let me walk through this alone!
I ask you to give me your hand to hold
I know you’ll guide us through the night
And I promise you, I’ll try to do you proud.

The birds keep singing outside my window
And I watch how they fly away.
One day I will ride upon their wings
Over mountains and the stormiest seas just to see you
Where we will never have to say goodbye again.

Oh, oh, ohhhhh
Please, if I could turn back the hands of time
I would finally get to say my last goodbye
Then maybe you would know how I really felt
And I wouldn’t be left here wondering.
If you are out there…
If you can hear me tonight, please know
I wasn’t ready to let you go.

Her bittersweet revenge
Lingering in your mind.
Those haunting ghostly words
From a girl locked away
from this evil eyed world.

Her haunting ghostly complexion
The cause of all your nightmares.
The blooded knife that fell
And missed you by an inch.
You are too afraid to cry.

The ****** in the alley
Your name written in blood.
You know that she is coming,
You're the next one on her list.
She tells you that you best get running.

To her it's all a game
The first one dead wins it all.
But you don't know her secret...
She is a figment of your imagination.
She is that girl you bullied to death.

Her bittersweet revenge
Lingering on your mind.
You made a promise
and never again
Will you make anyone suffer.

So just before you speak a word,
Make sure you know the truth.
This could be your next sin.
You could be her next victim...
The girl you bullied to death.

That's it,
I've had enough!
Sick of the pain,
Sick of the tears.
I'm lost and cant be found.
I'm done!
I just cannot take this anymore.
I was looking for a reason to hold on,
I can't seem to find it.
I'm done.
Its over.
Goodbye!

Shout and scream will there is nothing left.
Put me in that grave like you are desperate too.
Make my life hell,
Spill all my secrets...
Continue your violent, death threats.
I will just pretend it means nothing to me
But truthfully I cant wait for the day
When I don't have to feel at all.

Please don't be lonely when I'm gone
I've been sad for far to long
And now I've become so numb inside.
I want to slowly slip away
Into the darkness I will fade.

Please don't cry when I'm gone,
I haven't been myself for a while
And now I'm lost inside my mind.
I am tortured by these voices in my head
Telling me I'm better off dead.

Please don't be lonely when I'm gone,
I've been sad for far to long

I miss your eyes and how they looked like stars.
I miss your voice and how it could make me feel better.
I miss your smile and how it could turn my darkest days bright.
I miss your smell and how it made me know you were right there.
I miss your hug and how it made me feel safe and protected.
I miss your jokes and how they were never any good.
I miss how you made me feel as a whole and how it now will never be the same.
I miss your everything now that you can't do this anymore.
I MISS YOU!
I miss you and now I can't help but cry at our memories which were the best times of all.

Today is the 70th anniversary of D-day.

We will never forget all who fought for us,
We will always remember them.

Everyone who fought, died, were injured and those who survived will always be in our memories. They fought so we could live life the way we want to.

Although I don't know anyone who fought personally in the terrible battle in June on the Normandy beaches, I am still thankful and grateful for all those men who lost their lives and fought for us... we will remember them and never forget what they did and what they gave up for us.

Today is the 70th anniversary of D-day.

We will never forget those who fought for us to live the life that we have now.

We will remember them.

Its so hard to be near you when I feel this way
Trying to bite my tongue, not let the feelings show
But when you come close my heart skips a beat.
I’m losing my mind not knowing what to do.
Wishing everyone would just stop, leave it all alone
‘cause my heart can’t take this any more.
I can’t take this, but I can’t let go.
All I know is...

It feels so good, its not good,
How could it be so wrong?
I think back, I get stuck,
Don’t know which way to go!
I wish we could, I’m hoping we could find a way...
Why can’t it just be simple?
I try stand, forget it,
It’s just so tough.
I wish we could, I’m hoping we could find a way...

It’s so hard to know where you stand, stuck in this
Wanting to love you but I’m afraid of this.
When we’re apart, its you that I miss!
Wish I could bottle all my feelings, get rid of everything
Just stop these feelings ‘cause I don’t want to get hurt
Oh, I don’t have the strength too...

It feels good, its not good,
How could it be so wrong?
I think back, I get stuck,
Don’t know which way to go!
I wish we could, I’m hoping we could find a way...
Why can’t it just be simple?
I try stand, forget it,
It’s just so tough.
I wish we could, I’m hoping we could find a way...

Lets try and start a new chapter
Turn the page, lets start today, we’ll create our story the way we want.
Its so obvious that this can never be our life...

It feels good, its not good,
How could it be so wrong?
I think back, I get stuck,
Don’t know which way to go!
I wish we could, I’m hoping we could find a way...
Why can’t it just be simple?
I try stand, forget it,
It’s just so tough.
(Why’s it so tough)
I wish we could, I’m hoping we could find a way...

I wish we could, I’m hoping we could find a way...
Hoping we could find a way...

Thank you,
For being there when no one else was.
For giving me a reason to stay,
For giving me a reason to hope.

Thank you,
For making life seem more bearable,
For making me smile more then I have in a while,
For making everything feel okay, even if it was just for tonight.

Thank you,
For being my reason, even though you may not know that.
For not judging me and not giving up on me.
For being my reason to give life another chance.

There are not enough words to tell you
Just how truly thankful I am.
I just wish I could prove to you how much it really means.
Thank you, I love you.

I look in the mirror
I see nobody worthy.
I see a fat, ugly, lonely girl
Staring blankly back at me.
I make a promise that day
That I will change the way I am
I don't care how extreme this is
Welcome to my ABC diet.

A...
Anorexic I strive for
Perfectly skinny
Bones showing through my tender skin.
A...
Anorexic I long for,
Perfect and what you want
My mirror is beckoning me.

B...
Bulimia I now seek
Throwing up the minimum I eat
Helping maintain a figure worth looking at.
B...
Bulimic sounds so scary
But it's helpful all the same
My mirror is screaming it'll be worth it in the end.

C...
Calorie counting day in, day out
Watch the number consumed.
Minimum a day and I'll be worth keeping around.
C...
Calorie counting
The lower consumed, the skinnier I'll be
My mirror taunting your not pretty or thin enough yet.

I look in the mirror
I see nobody worthy.
I see a fat, ugly, lonely girl
Staring blankly back at me.
I make a promise that day
That I will change the way I am
I don't care how extreme this is
Welcome to my ABC diet.

Run away,
They just cant see
All the tears that slipped from your eyes.
Hide your face,
Don't let them see
You're losing grip on reality.

I'm lost inside
And have no way out.
I'm trapped inside
My own dark mind.
I'm no longer afraid to let go
And just end it all now.

Run away,
No one notices your hurting,
Cant see past the "I'm fine" your saying.
Never seem to look
Past the smiles as tears roll down.
What is the point in hanging on?

Mum, please, I need you to listen.
I'm not trying to make something out of nothing,
I'm just fighting with my mind and I feel lonely.
Mum, please, I do not mean to be a burden
But I'm locked inside my own thoughts
And I can no longer escape,
For you see my depression is controlling me.
Some days it is like a tiny fly
The next it swallows me into its icy shadow.
These days mum are the days I long to die.
You say it's selfish and cowardly to want to die
But please, it's not so much that I want to die,
It's just I don't want to live.
Mum, these days I am held prisoner inside my own bed.
You say I'm just being typically lazy
But I'm not trying to be.
I'm just afraid that if I get up I will drown within everything I long to forget.
Mum, please... Just listen to me.
You say I should get out more, see my friends
So I try like I know I should want to
But I wish for them to cancel these plans
For my anxiety torments my mind
And claws at my chest.
You ask where anxiety... another problem came from?
Yes mum, anxiety teaming up with depression
Increasing my many fears that haunt manipulate my life.
They come along as if to a party
Mum I am that party
Only this a party I do not want to attend.
At the end of the day I am tired of fighting with myself
And once more depression beckons me to my bed
Cradling my spent body until I once again feel numb.
Mum, please this is not to do with you.
You ask me why I'm too busy to stop and enjoy life
But I am never truly busy
I just mean I'm trying to keep distracted
Because I am lonely and feel isolated.
You say you cannot see where this has came from
Well, mum, neither do I!
You always say be more mire positive
Oh how I have tried but am always reminded of things I want to forget.
You've said light a candle to eliminate the dark
But I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm afraid of living!
Maybe this is part of the problem.
Mum, please I'm begging you to listen
I'm so scared that I cannot find my way back out.
You say you don't know what else to do.
Neither do I.
I'm lost and I cannot come back.
Mum, please, I just want you to be there when I need you!

Tired of being cast aside
As soon as someone better comes along.
Tired of feeling like nothing to you
When all I do is try to support you.
Why is it okay to make me feel
Like a complete waste of space?
Why is it okay to make me feel
Like I'm never good enough for anyone?

I can feel you pull away from me
Like the waves do on the shore.
What was once I love yous
Turned into are we even sure?
Now I can feel it trembling,
Like the earth's about to break
Because you were supposed to be my forever
But I can feel you pulling away.

I'm standing on the edge,
Wanting to take that one last breath.
Too much pain inside for me to take.
I want to end it all,
Don't want to cry again,
Fed up of pointless night
Wondering where it all went wrong.
I'm on the edge
And I cant take this anymore.

I know you’re slipping away, fading away
And I can’t be there.
They say your giving up now
But I know you’re a fighter, so please hold on.
I can’t bear to see you go yet,
Please hold on, I’ll come back home
Nana, please make it through the night…

Please, if there’s a god above I’m begging you
Don’t let this be the last time, I won’t get to say goodbye
I’m asking for a chance to let her stay.
Please if you hear me, let her make it through this lifetime
don’t take her away from us, too many will be heartbroken
I won’t be there to wipe away my little sisters tears at night.
Please I’m begging, Nana make it through the night.

I’m praying that this is just a nightmare
And that when I wake tomorrow it will be fine.
I never thought it would hurt this much
But oh how I’m wrong, how know they will hurt much more.
Please Nana, I know you’re tired and I know you must want the pain to stop
And I wish for anything in this world that could
But I just want to see your face again…
Please Nana, just make it through the night.

I should never of told you
How much I was hurting,
I should never of told you
How much I was bleeding out
Because I've now let you down...
This was my biggest mistake.

I've heard what's been said
How you tell me I should die.
You laugh and you joke
When you know that it hurts.
You can't even look me on the eyes
This was my biggest mistake...

You push me away from you
I know it's hard to take in
I know it's not what you want
But I can't help this way I feel
I've tried to hide it from you
But it's too late you want me to disappear.

You've stood there and joked about me
Left me feeling so small and worthless.
You don't seem to realise this makes it worse.
I'm agreeing with what you said
I'll **** myself, you all win.

The biggest mistake I made
Was ever telling you the truth.
The biggest mistake I made
Was believing you are true family.
The biggest mistake I made
Was living for this long.

I no longer care to stay
These tears won't stop falling.
There's a lump in my throat
And a knife in my hand...
One...
Two...
Three...
The blood just keeps on spilling.

I'm done with this life,
I'm done with this pain.
Sod it I'll jump
Now here comes the train...
One...
Two...
Three...
Ready to jump and no one's noticed.

Maybe if I cut myself
Or made myself prettier and thinner
Then you would love me,
Not leave me all alone.

Maybe if I made that jump
Or made myself in your image
Then I would finally be good enough
And not an outcast.

Maybe if I cut myself
Or made myself prettier and thinner
Then you would finally love me
And I wouldn't be the shameful daughter.

When you notice me staring into nothingness,
Do not call me back,
I am trying to imagine a better day.

When you see me write incoherent words,
Do not ask me for their meaning,
I am trying to make sense of these thoughts inside my head.

When you see my nails sink into my arms,
Do not tell me to stop,
I just long to feel something that's not emptiness.

When you see me tugging at my clothes,
Do not ask me why,
I am just nervous of what people may think of me.

When you see me walking alone,
Do not come to my side or try to reach me,
I'm just trying to calm myself down.

If you ever see marks or bruises on my body,
Do not ask what has happened
Because I do not know myself.

If you ever see cuts or scars on my arms,
Do not pretend you know how it feels,
I'm not looking for your sympathy, I just need a release.

If you ever see my body tremble,
Please do not ask me why,
I am willing myself to just stop and breathe.

If you ever see me rocking myself,
Please do not make your jokes,
I just need to feel comforted at times.

If I ever arrive late,
Do not ask me where I have been,
I was busy trying to control the urges.

If I ever seem distant with you,
Please do not ask me what I'm thinking,
I am probably just wanting to disappear.

If I ever say I do not care,
Do not be fooled,
I am just probably tired of hearing these 'jokes'.

If I ever make a mess of things (like usual),
Do not yell at me or make me feel small,
I will clean up my mistakes, it just takes time.

If I ever hurt you,
Do not hate me,
Sometimes I just forget how to act.

If I ever cry on your shoulder,
Do not be uncomfortable,
It just means I am comfortable with you.

Please do not ask me if I am okay
Because I am never okay.
I am just surviving.

Please do not try to figure me out,
I am only human,
I just like secrets.

Please do not try to hug or touch me,
It makes my skin crawl,
I am not used to that touch.

Please do not try to comfort me,
Its not helping.
Just stay within reach, stay quiet,
Empty your mind of doubt.

If I'm ever crying or just being dumb
And I tell you to leave me alone,
Don't...I'm just too scared to admit I need you.
I need you to hold me when I feel so broken.

It's getting so bad
That I just can't hold on
I'm losing my grip on the world
And I'm slowly fading away...
It's getting so hard
That I've lost my grip on this life
I'm losing touch with this reality
I've got nowhere to run...

I can't carry on.
Got nowhere to run.
I'm stuck in this life.
My head is spinning.
I can't hold on.
I've got to let go.
No time for goodbyes.
I'm losing my mind...

It's breaking me down
These thoughts are haunting me
Tearing me apart
I can't keep lying to myself...
It's tearing me up
I'm becoming so numb inside
But this is life
I've got to let go

I can't breath
I can't speak
I know you're there
But where do I go?
I can't see
I can't hear
These things that you say
I need an escape...

How many times
Will I go through this fight?
What if tonight's the night?
The night I let go...
I say goodbye for the last time
No more apologies...
Tonight is the night
That I let go...

I feel like...
I'm slowly fading away,
lost and so afraid,
I can't really find much hope anymore
and everything just seems so cold....
I just keep hoping that I will find some sort of light
or someone who will help me hold on
until I can reach the end...
I generally have this fear
that I'm going to be left alone
and no matter how loud I cry or scream
no one can hear me...
I'm slowly fading away...

Trying to speak my mind
You never seem to realise
How much you truly mean to me.
Trying to make you see
But you're never listening
You need to try and sort things out.

Maybe one day you will realise
That friends and family are here.
Maybe one day you will listen
And hear the words I say.
I guess someday maybe
You will realise I care,
It doesn't matter who you say you are
I'll be here for you I swear.

It's like your always hurting
You expect me to be there
But some days I'm trying to stop
Myself from ending it all
But I'm still there for you
Like you want me to be.

Maybe one day you will notice
That I'm never far away from you.
Maybe one day you will hear ne
And believe the words I say.
I guess someday maybe
You will see what I see,
It doesn't matter what you say to ne
I'm always by your side.

Maybe I am blinded
By the future I see for you
But believe me when I tell you
How special you are to me.
You're the brother I always wanted
And I won't let you go.

Maybe one day this will be over
And you won't feel this pain anymore.
Maybe one day you'll be happy
Without a care in the world.
I guess someday maybe
You will realise your worth,
It doesn't matter what you're going through
You will not be going alone.

I feel like I cant do this.
Anyday could be my last,
These tears fall as I struggle
To get to grips of all my fears.
Terrified of never being good enough
To me or anyone.
Scared of failure proving I'm not worthy.
If I fail my dream I know it will be my end
But I'm not even sure I can make it that far.
I want to **** myself
But not to die.
Just so I don't have to feel this pain.

I never thought I could cry so much
As the stars traced the sky.
My heart it breaks as the seasons change,
God I wish I could change your mind.
For you see, you mean the world to me
And I can't stand to let you go,
But you've made up your mind
Now you've said goodbye.

I guess I should try to move on,
Let you go and stop the tears.
I guess I should try and get a hold of myself,
Act so strong until I'm on my own.
I won't let them see just how much
This is breaking me... So I guess
I've got to be moving on and letting go!

I never thought I would fall as hard as I did
Just like a wrecking ball, my feelings took me out again.
I never thought I could get so attached
I guess I should have saw it coming
'Cause no-one ever stays around long enough to see me for me.
Now I'm stuck here wondering
If you ever meant you cares
Because you've left me here, longing for my heart to stop beating.

I guess I should try letting go,
Please stop the flow of these tears.
I guess I should try and find the strength to keep moving forward;
Act so strong as if there is nothing wrong.
I won't let them see just how much
This is breaking me... So I guess
I've got to be moving on and letting go!

Looking in my tainted mirror
Disgusted by what I see.
The fat protruding through my shirt,
Covering every inch of my vile body.
Hating my reflection,
I must get rid of the fat I see.

Calories I can't stand,
Cut them down,
Cut them out.
Lose the weight and maybe then
I'll finally be happy in my skin.

Workout, build up a sweat.
Don't eat,
Don't feel.
Work the weight off so you can see
Bones sticking out, the glorious wish.

Looking in my tainted mirror
Disgusted by what I see.
The fat protruding through my shirt,
Cutting out and counting down
The evil that enters my mouth.
I must get rid of the fat I see!

Once a long time ago I remember it all,
As if your words were etched into my skin...
I remember your words,
Your vicious twisted laugh
Sending me spinning into a forgotten void.

Your words were your weapons
Tearing at my ****** skin,
Ripping my heart into millions of pieces.
Not the daughter you ever wanted,
A mistake was all you ever thought of.

Your eyes were like two black vortex's
Draining every inch of hope from my once glimmering daydreams.
You ripped my world in two
Leaving me to dye among the fallen leaves of autumn.
Of course you never cared.

I am the daughter
You would gladly watch die!

This pounding in my head
And ringing in my ears,
Tightness in my chest
And tingling in my fingers.
This dizziness that consumes me
And fears that threaten my sanity
Rip at my heart
And make me feel like I'm going crazy.

This never ending sadness
And tears that threaten to drown me,
Irrational fears consume me
And poison my once good thoughts.
This emptiness and loneliness
And loss of energy I cannot get back
Tear my world apart
Until I no longer can go on.

I cut
Just to feel alive.

I cry
Just to feel pain.

I skip meals
Just to feel worthy.

I don't sleep
Just to feel something.

Now, I don't even know
If I'm feeling anything at all.

I’m drowning in this darkness,
Slowly sinking in the pain
I’m beginning to doubt that
I can live with myself.
Time kills what I thought I had
Ripping my world in two.

If you could see me now
I know you wouldn’t be proud.
I try find ways to numb this pain
Whether that be by alcohol or blade,
But you wouldn’t understand.
I can’t live with myself.

Time consumes the things we hold dear
It seems to know what drives us mad,
Makes the loneliness last longer,
The pain more unbearable.
I lost who I was some time ago,
Now I’m nothing more than an empty shell.

There’s no way I can doubt that
I can’t live with myself.

Blackened skies haunt my dreams,
Nightmares that are just too real.
Droplets of blood
Seeping through my cuts.

1 cut, 2 cuts, 3 cuts and then more
Waiting for your words
To tare me all apart.
Another ****** memory.

Snow white scars line my wrists.
Blood red tears line my cheeks.
Safety pin bandages cover my arms.
Long  restless nights of pain.

I don't know what I'm doing,
Scaring my arms and legs.
I don't know what I'm doing,
Hiding away from the world.

I'm a lost cause,
We've known that from the start.
I'm a messed up girl,
That's never going to change.

Everyday it seems you're slipping further away,
We're losing touch, you do nothing but push me away
And you don't seem to care at all that I'm fighting for this...
No matter how many times I try,
I just can't break through to you.

If you don't want this anymore then please tell me
'Cause I'm tired of drowning in these tears almost every night.
I'm sick of feeling like I'm fighting a losing battle
Over and over again
And you think saying sorry every time is going to work!

Tell me why you never seem to have the time anymore,
Tell me if this is even worth the fight?
I'm sick of feeling like I'm the only one trying in this.
I feel lonelier each time even though
It's supposed to be me and you!

If you're going to make me feel lonely
Please tell me you don't want me anymore,
Because I would rather be lonely alone
Then feel like I'm in this all alone.
Won't you please just talk to me again...?

Sick of being beaten down
By people who say they care,
They don't really give a sh*t
As long as they don't see
The damage that it truly does.

I never did anything to you,
This is all becoming too much.
Why act like you can't, when you can?
Now I receive the grief.

Nobody gives one about others,
They don't care how you hurt
As long as they get what they want
Everybody else can go to hell.

If you thought I was hurt before
Take one last look now!
I'm torn and broken, I've stopped believing.
I'm done trying to be people's friends.

A long day of forced, faked smiles
But you can't see behind a computer screen...
Just my bitter words.

Words I've now said
Which could lay us to rest
Because I can't say I'm feeling insecure,
Just in a bad place.

Breaking down on either end.
Distance holding us back from those three words
Which I've never said to anyone but you.
Now what do I regret?

Why does this always get the better of me?
Tear me down till I lose everything I've ever held close
Because "you're a worthless failure" haunts me,
Tortures me till I stop in my tracks...
Numb... because I can't say I'm really not okay!